Denver Metro Area March 01, 2010
Issue #1127
Published by Mountain View Publishing, LLC
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TIDBITS® BREWS UP FACTS ON
COFFEE
by Rick Dandes
Coffee or tea anyone? In America, the answer to that question is a resounding yes to coffee. According to recent surveys, U.S drinkers consume ap-proximately 4,848 cups of coffee per second, 24 hours a day. So on this winter’s day, Tidbits honors the American coffee drinker, with a whole set of trivia facts and statistics. Drink it up.
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• You might think the most expensive coffee in the world comes from Jamaica or Hawaii, but in fact, it is from Indonesia. It’s called Kopi Luwak, and those who drink it insist that it is made from coffee beans eaten, partly digested and then excreted by the common palm civet, a weasel-like animal. Apparently the internal digestion ends up as a unique flavor to the beans, removing the bitter flavor, and then beans are then picked up by locals and sold. These beans can cost up to $600 a pound, and up to $50 per cup, if you can get over the fact that you are drinking such a strange brew. • World Barista Championship UK Ltd is a nonprofit organization jointly owned by the Specialty Coffee Association of America and Specialty Coffee Association of Europe. The first WBC competition took place in Monte Carlo in October 2000 and has since held annual competitions in Miami, Oslo, Boston, Trieste, Seattle, Berne, Tokyo and Copenhagen. • The history of coffee can be traced back to at least the early 9th century, when it appeared in the highlands of Ethiopia. Back then, according to legend, shepherds first saw the influence of this brew when they observed their animals eating the raw coffee berries. Their goats then appeared to “dance” and have an increased level of energy. The first coffee rush? continued on page 2!
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Page 2 COFFEE (continued) • What are the two most commonly grown species of the coffee plant? According to a number of industry sources, they are Coffee canephora and C. Arabica. These are grown in Latin America, Southeast Asia, and Africa. • Over the years, coffee traveled around the world to various countries usually carried by travelers who gave samples to others that eventually wanted even more coffee for them. • Coffee is big business, and one of the world’s more important commodities. Here are some numbers to prove that: in 2003, coffee was the world’s sixth-largest legal agricultural export in value. From 1998 to 2000, 6.7 million tons of coffee was produced annually, and it is predicted that by 2010 production will rise to 7 million tons annually. • It was said that cowboys made their coffee by putting ground coffee into a clean sock and immerse it in cold water and heated over campfire. When ready, they would pour the coffee into tin cups and drink it. • The first European coffee house opened in Italy in the year 1645. • The Dutch were the first to import coffee and coffee beans on a large scale, and they eventually smuggled coffee seedlings into Europe in 1690, defying the Arab prohibition on the exportation of coffee plants or unroasted coffee seeds. • Brazil is the largest coffee exporting nation, but in recent years Vietnam has become a major producer of robusta beans. Robusta coffees are one of the most popular coffees. • Because of the lower costs, Arabica is preferred by large industrial clients, such as multinational roasters and instant coffee producers. • Coffee is propagated by seed. The traditional method of planting coffee is to put 20 seeds in each hole at the beginning of the rainy season; half are eliminated naturally. Coffee is intercropped with food crops, such as corn, beans, or rice, during the first few years. • There are two main cultivated species of the coffee plant, Coffea canephora and Coffea arabica. Arabica coffee is considered more suitable for drinking than robusta, which, compared to arabica, is bit-
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Issue #1127
ter and has less flavor. It’s probably for this ECHO HEARING CENTER, INC reason that about three fourths of coffee 3501 S Corona Suite 2 cultivated worldwide is arabica. Englewood, CO 80113 • How do you label a bean? It depends on 303-789-1322 the color of the roasted beans. They will Echo Hearing Center has been serving be labeled as light, cinnamon, medium, the Denver community for 50 years. high city, full city, French or Italian roast. Our caring staff at Echo Hearing The darker roasts are usually smoother, Center possess the highest credentials and are committed to patient satisfacbecause they have less fiber content and tion. We understand that “value” is not a more sugary flavor. Lighter roasts have measured by price alone. more caffeine, resulting in a slight bitterness, and a stronger flavor from aromatic Twelve Reasons to Purchase Two Hearing oils. Aids Instead of One • Perfectly roasted coffee beans are the 1. Keeps both ears active resulting in less hearing deterioration with time. end result of the coffee roasting process. 2. Better speech understanding Those beans are then ground and turned 3. Better understanding in group and noisy situations into a delicious cup of coffee. 4. Better ability to tell the direction sound comes from • Coffee was used in ancient times for spiri- 5. Better sound quality and a sense of hearing balance tual reasons. At least 1,000 years ago, 6. Two aids require less power to produce loudness traders brought coffee across the Red Sea resulting in smoother tone quality into Arabia (modern-day Yemen), where 7. Reduced feedback and whistling due to lower volume levels Muslim monks began cultivating the shrub in their gardens. At first, the Arabians made 8. A wider range of hearing. A whisper heard with one ear at 10’ can be heard up to 40’ away with two ears wine from the pulp of the fermented cof9. Better sound identification fee berries. This beverage was known as 10. Hearing is less tiring and listening more pleasant due Qishr (Kisher in modern usage) and was to not having to strain to hear used during religious ceremonies. 11. Feeling of balanced hearing. Two working ears provide stereo hearing • Coffee drinking was prohibited socially in some regions of the world, and at one time 12. Tinnitus masking. About 50% of people with ringing in the ears reported improvement when wearing hearwas considered strictly a “Muslim” drink. ing aids in both ears. • How’s this for a rush? The majority of all Mention this ad for $500 off a pair of digital hearing caffeine consumed worldwide comes from instruments. coffee—in some countries; this figure is as high as 85 percent. It all depends, of www.EchoHearingCenter.com course, on the type of coffee and method leans used chicory as substitutes. Today, of preparation. they would have their coffee with chicory. • Too much coffee can bring on some health • When the beans reach the temperature problems, experts warn. Most of these of 400F during the roasting process, the negative effects are due to coffee’s cafbeans “crack.” When the beans “crack” feine content. Drinking caffeinated coffee a second time, the hot beans are then can cause a temporary increase in the dumped from the roaster and cooled imstiffening of arterial walls. Excess coffee mediately. During the process of roasting consumption may lead to a magnesium coffee beans, coffee oil gathers in pockdeficiency or hypomagnesaemia. So if ets throughout the bean. This substance you’re drinking 10 cups a day, be careful. is forced out to the surface of the beans of • During the American Civil War, when cofdarker roasts, as moisture is lost. Hence fee was scarce, the citizens of New Orthe bean has this oily appearance.
March 01, 2010
Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area
Page 3
We Clean Drains NOT Bank Accounts
• On March 6, 1475, Michelangelo Buonarroti, the greatest of the Italian Renaissance artists, is born. His most important early work was the Pieta (1498), a sculpture that showed the body of Christ in the lap of the Virgin Mary. Demonstrating masterful skill, Michelangelo extracted the two perfectly balanced figures of the Pieta from a single block of marble. • On March 3, 1873, Congress enacts the so-called Comstock Law, making it illegal to send any “obscene, lewd or lascivious” book through the mails. The law was named after Anthony Comstock, a salesman from Connecticut, who devoted his life to fighting what he perceived as vice, particularly obscenity and gambling. • On March 4, 1888, Knute Rockne is born in Voss, Norway. He would go on to become one of the most successful coaches in the history of college football. In his 13 years as coach of Notre Dame, he recorded 105 wins, 12 losses and 5 ties for a winning percentage of .881, the highest in the history of college or professional football. • On March 1, 1897, the Winton Motor Carriage Company is organized in Cleveland, with Alexander Winton as president. A year later, Winton won a race at Daytona Beach, Fla., driving his Winton Bullet to an average speed of 68 mph and becoming the first person to break the mile-per-minute barrier. • On March 2, 1925, the first nationwide highway numbering system is instituted to minimize confusion. Later, interstate highway numbering would be improved by colored signs and the odd-even demarcation that distinguishes between north-south and east-west travel, respectively. • On March 7, 1955, the first Broadway play to be televised in color, featuring the original cast, airs. The play was “Peter Pan,” starring Mary Martin. • On March 5, 1963, the Hula-Hoop, a hip-swiveling toy that became a huge fad across America when it was first marketed by Wham-O in 1958, is patented. An estimated 25 million Hula-Hoops were sold in its first four months of production alone. Following the Hula-Hoop, Wham-O produced the Superball, Water Wiggle, Silly String, Slip ‘n’ Slide and the Hacky Sack. (c) 2010 King Features Synd., Inc.
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Issue #1127
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FOR WEEK OF MARCH 01, 2010
ARIES (March 21 to April 19) Having second thoughts could be a good thing, even if you’re determined to go through with your plans. You might find it worthwhile to take a fresh look at how things have been set up. TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) Financial matters could continue to be a problem until you’re able to straighten out some of the more pesky situations. Once that happens, the rest should be easier to unsnarl. GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) Family matters once again take center stage, and should be dealt with competently and quickly. And, again, insist on others taking on their fair share of the responsibilities. CANCER (June 21 to July 22) Your creative pursuits seem to be running into a roadblock. But rather than blame outside factors, look within to see if you might be holding back your efforts for some reason. LEO (July 23 to August 22) Keep that keen Cat’s Eye focused on relevant aspects of this new situation in your life. Don’t be distracted by trivial matters. You need the pertinent facts before making a decision. VIRGO (August 23 to September 22) As much as you prefer doing things on your own, continue to accept help if you still need to resolve the problem affecting your project. Some cheerful news is about to come your way. LIBRA (September 23 to October 22) While you might begrudge the added time it will take to get your project from point A to B to C, etc., you could benefit from the facts that will emerge over this expanded time span. SCORPIO (October 23 to November 21) Regarding your workplace suggestions, be prepared to produce the facts to counter reactions from skeptics who feel your approach is unreasonable or even impossible. SAGITTARIUS (November 22 to December 21) Savvy Sagittarians will look for workrelated answers on their own rather than rely on unproved assumptions. It might take more time to do so, but the payoff is worth it. CAPRICORN (December 22 to January 19) Your aspects continue to favor family issues, with special emphasis this week on changes in and around your home. Get everyone to suggest what he or she would like to see done. AQUARIUS (January 20 to February 18) A matter you thought had been settled might still produce surprises. Best advice: Continue to gather facts to bolster your position just in case you need to produce them quickly. PISCES (February 19 to March 20) While your instincts are usually right when discerning ‘twixt truth and deception, you could benefit from doing more research on the new “prospect” that you’ve been pitched. BORN THIS WEEK: Your wisdom is only matched by your generosity, making you the sort of friend everyone hopes to have. (c) 2010 King Features Synd., Inc.
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March 01, 2010
Free Events
Events FREE Acupuncture Workshops: March 2nd, 6:30 - 7:30 pm, Lone Tree Public Library, and March 9th, 3:30 - 4:30 pm, Koelbel Public Library. Dr. Zhizhong Nan from the Foundation for Wellness Professionals will host free workshops! March 2nd: ARTHRITIS ALTERNATIVE Approaches to preventing and handling arthritic pain. STOP LIVING WITH THE PAIN! March 9th: BALANCING HORMONES NATURALLY - A holistic approach to women’s hormone related health concerns. After a short presentation there will be free health screenings. Learn how to free yourself from prescriptions with dangerous side effects and heal naturally. Space is limited call today! Nan’s Acupuncture Clinic 303.721.6123 or chloe@acupuncturedenver. com Saturday Night Alive 2010: Legendary singer/songwriter/producer/record executive SMOKEY ROBINSON will headline this black tie, 30th annual signature fundraiser. Guests at this event will not only enjoy old classics and new favorites from Smokey, but elements that have made this event an eagerly anticipated highlight of the social scene for three decades in cluding a Suprise Box Sale, a Luxury Silent Auction (featuring nearly 100 items including artwork, jewelry, trips worldwide and walk-on roles in Denver Center Theatre Company productions), dinner, desserts and dancing. Saturday, March 6, 2010, Denver Center for the Performing Arts, Denver. Tickets range from $375 to $1250. Call (303) 446-4812 or visit www.DenverCenter.org for more information. Project C.U.R.E: March 15, 2010, 7:00 pm 9:00 pm, 10377 E Geddes Ave, Centennial. The South Metro Chamber has teamed up with Project C.U.R.E. and established a sorting session on the 3rd Monday of every month. Project C.U.R.E. is a non-profit that gathers unused medical supplies that would normally be thrown away. Those supplies are then sorted, boxed, and shipped to developing countries around the world in dire need of items as simple as latex gloves and sutures. www.TheBestChamber.com or call 303.795.0142. Under the August Moon: August 28, 2010, 6:00 pm, Polson Farm, 5201 Manhart St/CO Hwy 67, Sedalia. Annual Colorado Event featuring four songwriters from Nashville in-the-round. Each songwriter takes a turn presenting songs they wrote for famous recording artists. They explain why they wrote each song and the details surrounding each song, then they play them the way they originally wrote them. All done while you eat a wonderful dinner and enjoy the sounds; all to benefit St. Jude’s Children’s Research Hospital. $125/person. 303.377.9987, Stacey.Jones@StJude.org or www.StJude. org/SongwritersSupper
Bus Tour of the Golden Triangle Art/ Museum District: First Friday of every month 5 - 9 pm. Ballet Arts Theatre, 816 Acoma St, Denver 303-825-7570 www.pnfproductions.com Children’s Museum: First Tuesday evening of the month, 4 - 8pm. 2121 Children’s Museum Drive www.cmdenver.org CU In Broomfield World Music Series: Free concerts 2nd Wed of every month, 7pm Broomfield Auditorium, 3 Community Park Rd, 303-469-3301 x7999 www.broomfield.org Denver Art Museum: First Sat of every month free to CO residents, 10am5pm 100 West 14th Avenue Parkway www.denverartmuseum.org Denver Botanic Gardens: Free days Check web site for 2010 schedule of free days.1005 York St, 720-865-3500 www.botanicgardens.org Denver Museum of Nature & Science: Check web site for 2010 Free days. 2001 Colorado Boulevard, 303-322-7009 www.dmns.org Firehouse Tales For Tots: Denver Firefighters Museum 1356 Tremont Pl, (303) 892-1436. First Wednesday of each month 10:00 am - 10:30 am. Ages 2-6
Page 5
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Sports
Colorado Avalanche - NHL • Red Wings: Mon Mar 1, 7:00 pm • Ducks host: Wed Mar 3, 8:00 pm • Coyotes host: Thu Mar 4, 7:00 pm • Blues: Sat Mar 6, 7:00 pm • Canucks: Tue Mar 9, 7:00 pm • Panthers: Thu Mar 11, 7:00 pm • Stars host: Sun Mar 14, 1:00 pm • Blues host: Tue MAr 16, 6:00 pm • Flames: Wed Mar 17, 7:00 pm Denver Nuggets - NBA • Phoenix hosts: Mon Mar 1, 7:00 pm • Oklahoma City: Wed Mar 3, 7:00 pm • Indiana: Fri Mar 5, 7:00 pm • Portland: Sun Mar 7, 8:30 pm • At Minnesota: Wed Mar 10, 6:00 pm • At New Orleans: Fri Mar 12, 6:00 pm • At Memphis: Sat Mar 13, 6:00 pm • At Houston: Mon Mar 15, 6:30 pm • Washington: Tue Mar 16, 7:00 pm Colorado Mammoth - NLL • Edmonton: Sat Mar 13, 7:00 pm • Washington: Fri Mar 26, 7:00 pm • At Washington: Sat Mar 27, 8:30 pm
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Page 6
Call (303) 688-1987 or email Info@TidbitsofDenver .com Today!
WEEKLY FUNNIES
A man was waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor came and informed the dad that his son was born without a torso, arms, or legs. The son was just a head! But the dad loved his son and raised him as well as he could. Twenty-one years later, the son was old enough for his first drink. The dad took him to a bar, tearfully told him he was proud of him, and ordered the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the bar patrons looking on curiously, the boy took his first sip of alcohol. Swoooop! A torso popped out! The bar was dead silent, then burst into a whoop of joy. The father, shocked, begged his son to drink again. The patrons chanted, “Take another drink! Take another drink!” The bartender shook his head in dismay. Swoooop! Two arms popped out! The bar went wild. The father, crying and wailing, begged his son to drink again. The patrons chanted, “Take another drink! Take another drink!” But the bartender ignored the whole affair. By this time, the boy was getting tipsy. With his new hands, he reached down, grabbed the drink, and guzzled the last of it. Swoooop! Two legs popped out. The bar was in chaos. The father wept with joy. The boy stood up on his new legs. He stumbled to the left. He stumbled to the right. Then he stumbled through the front door and into the street, where a truck ran him over. The bar fell silent. The father moaned with grief. The bartender merely sighed and said, “He should have quit while he was a head.” My friend’s husband is always telling her that housekeeping would be a snap if only she would organize her time better. Recently he had a chance to put his theory into practice while his wife was away. When I popped in one evening to see how he was manag-
ing, he crowed, “I made a cake and frosted it; washed the kitchen windows; cleaned all the cupboards; scrubbed the kitchen floor, walls, and ceiling; and even had a bath.” I was about to concede that perhaps he was a better manager than his wife, when he added sheepishly, “When I was making the chocolate frosting, I forgot to turn off the mixer before taking the beaters out of the bowl, so I had to do all the rest.” Artist Pablo Picasso surprised a burglar at work in his new chateau. The intruder got away, but Picasso told the police he could do a rough sketch of what he looked like. On the basis of his drawing, the police arrested a mother superior, the minister of finance, a washing machine, and the Eiffel tower. I’m a secondary school teacher at a girls’ school. Last week I assigned homework to research and design a poster on a famous woman inventor. I explained to the students that there were many good woman inventors and explained that while a man invented the car, it was a woman who invented the windshield wiper. And also that a man invented the gun and it was a woman who invented the bullet-proof vest. A smart response came from one of the students: “So what you are saying, sir, is that a man invented something, and a woman found a way to make it safer!” How to Clean the House: 1. Open a new folder on your PC. 2. Name it “Housework.” 3. Send it to the Recycle Bin. 4. Empty the Recycle Bin. 5. Your PC will ask you, “Are you sure you want to delete Housework permanently?” 6. Calmly answer, “Yes,” and press the mouse button firmly. 7. Feel better? In Alaska’s Tongass National Forest, a tour guide was giving a talk to a group of tourists about hiking in grizzly bear territory: “Most bear encounters occur when hikers, being extra quiet along the trails in hopes of viewing wildlife, accidentally stumble into bears. The resulting surprise can be catastrophic.” To avoid this, he suggested that each hiker wear tiny bells on their clothing to warn the bears of their presence. “Also,” he said further, “be especially cautious when you see signs of bears in the area, especially when you see bear droppings.” One tourist asked, “How do you identify bear droppings?” “Oh that’s easy,” the guide explained. “They’re the ones with all the tiny bells in them!”
WEEKLY ANSWERS
Issue #1127
By Samantha Weaver
• It was British journalist Jeremy Campbell who made the following sage observation: “Computers are good at swift, accurate computation and at storing great masses of information. The brain, on the other hand, is not as efficient a number cruncher and its memory is often highly fallible; a basic inexactness is built into its design. The brain’s strong point is its flexibility.” • In 1911, it became illegal in China to wear a pigtail. • One of Ernest Hemingway’s early English teachers claimed that the future Nobel Prize winner would “never learn to write.” • More from the files of hangover cures from around the world: In Japan, pickled plums are reputed to ease the morning-after ails; in Italy, it’s (quite sensibly) coffee. The Chinese drink strong green tea, while in the Netherlands it’s the hair of the dog -- the Dutch advocate beer as a remedy. Danes eat salt, while Mexicans eat shrimp (I’ll take the Mexican remedy any day). Perhaps the oddest remedy is practiced in Russia: Sufferers there head to the sauna, where they proceed to whip out the toxins with leafy birch branches. No word on what they do in winter, when the birches are, presumably, leafless. • The Dwight D. Eisenhower National System of Interstate and Defense Highways -- better known as the Interstate Highway System -- is the largest public works project in the history of the world. At 46,876 miles, it’s also the world’s largest highway system. • Stephen Foster, known as the Father of American Music, originally got paid a grand total of 2 cents for each of his musical scores that was sold. (c) 2010 King Features Synd., Inc.
Thought for the Day: “There is no nonsense so arrant that it cannot be made the creed of the vast majority by adequate governmental action.” -- Bertrand Russell
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Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area
March 01, 2010
Do You Need Cash Now! You Can Have Cash In Hand For Gold We’ve all seen the TV commercials to send your broken gold jewelry in an envelope to some unknown group of people and they’ll send you money back. But how many of us are really going to do that? Of course we know there’s money in our jewelry box, but most of us are too afraid of mailing it off to a group of strangers and 1) hope the envelope gets there 2) hope the unseen people are going to weigh our gold accurately 3) hope the strangers on the other end of this transaction test your gold accurately (10k, 14k, 24k, etc), and 4) HOPE that the right amount of money gets returned to us for our old treasures. Now there is no reason to sit and home and “HOPE” that your gold transaction goes smoothly –
gold now, you are taking advantage of the current hight prices for gold.
commission! Call 303-8197325 to schedule your gold party!!!
There are three factors that affect the amount your gold is worth:
So prepare yourself now for an experience that is both fun and profitable – collect your old gold jewelry pieces and bring them to the Vail Room at the Hampton Inn at 9231 E Arapahoe Rd (the NE Corner of I-25 and Arapahoe Rd) on Saturday, March 6th, from 11 am – 6 pm.
1.
Karat
2.
Weight in grams
3.
Current price of gold
What doesn’t affect the price? Whether your jewelry is broken or not. Those twisted gold chains that you can no longer wear because of all the kinks and snags are worth just as much as the new ones. The color of your gold also does not affect the price; yellow, white or rose, JR’s Fine Metals will buy your gold pieces.
Selling your gold pieces is like shopping in reverse! You get the money while enjoying On Saturday, Marth 6th, JR’s Fine Metals the excitement of finding out what your will be in town to meet you face to face to jewelry is worth. So bring some friends and weigh and test your gold and to pay you see who can sell the most! a fair price should you decide to sell. Sounds like fun doesn’t it? Then why not The price of gold is at an all time high. This host a gold selling party? JR’s Fine Metals means that JR’s Fine Metals can pay you will help you host a gold selling party in your the highest prices possible. By selling your home – they will even pay you, the host, a
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HOME REMODEL Bath Pros and Remodeling Family Owned and Locally Operated All Phases of construction Free Estimates Call 720-266-9973 www.BathProsAnd Remodeling.com BUSINESS O PPORTUNIT Y
Spare-time work, full-time income! Use our catalogs to get big orders! Distributorships opening up in this area. Visit: www. EverlineUS.com
AUTO PARTS TOYOTA ENGINES. 22RE and 3VZE. New 22RE heads. Parting out Toyota 4RUNNERS and trucks. www. toyotatruckpart.com 1-877-484-7888. JEWELRY ROLEX, CARTIER, Patex! Buy, Sell, Or Trade! Watches, Jewelry, Diamonds, Gold! 866-7470408 buddy@ ninetreasures.com PETS 2 A.K.C TEACUP YORKSHIRE TERRIER PUPPIES FOR FREE (M/F),CONTACT: my email address mrs. brown.tracy@gmail. com
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E D U C AT I O N
FUN TRAVEL Job. Hiring 18-23 individuals to travel USA. Two weeks paid transportation and lodging furnished. Toll free 877-646-5050
OCEAN CORP. Houston, Texas. Train for New Career. Underwater Welder, Commercial Diver, NDT/Weld Inspector. Job placement and financial aid for those who qualify, 1-800-321-0298.
AUTO MO BI L E S Do you need a car? No qualifying! (303) 289-5600 Lockhardt Sales and Leasing
Bring your gold bracelets, gold rings, gold necklaces, gold earrings, gold broaches, gold pendants – gold anything! Broken or not, yellow, white or rose – JR’s Fine Metals will buy your gold! JR’s Fine Metals www.CashInHandForGold.com (303) 819-7325 – We’ll buy your gold Saturday, March 6th 11 am – 6 pm in the Vail Room at the Hampton Inn NE corner of I-25 and Arapahoe!
Call (303) 688-1987
EMPLOYMENT
AMAZING TRAVEL JOB!! NRS Now Hiring 17- Outgoing, enthusiastic people to travel to warm climates. Paid training and lodging makes this job ideal for beginners. Must be well-groomed. Ask for Jimmy 877-305-7735.
You will walk away with money in your hand! JR’s Fine Metals, for security purposes, will write you a check that you can cash or deposit immediately into your bank account!
ADOPTION ARE YOUR PREGNANT? Professional secure couple wishes to adopt and Love your infant. We can help with medical/ living expenses. Completely legal. Call our attorney David Radis 800637-2882.
LA N D /LOTS FOR S ALE
LAND FORECLOSURES
SPECTACULAR WOODED LOTS – Mountain views, wildlife and well-planned open space make these 3-5 acre lots starting at $185,000 very exclusive. The Preserve At Deerfield in Franktown, CO provides the rural living conditions, but still conveniently located to all major business areas. Call 303-688-1987 to schedule a time to view your next home site.
20 ACRE LAND FORECLOSURES Near Growing El Paso, TX. No Credit Checks/ Owner Financing. $0 Down, Take Over $159/Mo. payment. Was $16,900 Now $12,856 800-755-8953 www.texaslandforeclosures.com
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Page 8
Laugh Lines! Puns of Fun
• A man asked a priest, “Father, do you remember me?” The priest answered, I don’t remember your name, but your faith is familiar.” • The man who kept borrowing money felt very loanly. • Dad has a magnetic personality – every time he buys something he charges. • When the famous artist Whistler saw his mother standing by the window he shouted, “Good heavens mother – have you gone off your rocker?” • When does a baby wake? In the wee-wee hours of the night. • A sign in the bar read, “Thirst come, thirst served.” • What did the Leaning Tower of Pisa say to Big Ben? “If you’ve got the time, I’ve got the inclination.” • First Hunter: How are you enjoying your visit to Africa? Second Hunter: Safari so good. • Did you hear about the two lenses that got together and made a spectacle of themselves? • A man wanted to visit the Middle East while his wife wanted to visit South America. He told her, “You go Uruguay, I’ll go mine.” • This spy novel is so gripping that I had to read it from covert to covert. • Name the world’s most shocking city… ElectriCity • Boy magnet to girl magnet, “I find you very attractive.” • The clock was a timely invention. • Why did the germ walk across the
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Denver/Boulder
When your financial obligations get too big...
Could you use some extra cash?
Morse & Associates, LLC is here to help.
Gold Buying Expo
$500 Bankruptcy
Saturday, March 6th, 11 am - 6 pm Hampton Inn - The Vail Room Arapahoe and I-25 • Garnishments • Foreclosure • Harassment
(303) 300-6684 1-877-284-7529 www.MorseBankruptcy.com
We are a federally designated debt relief agency pursuant to Title 11 of the U.S. Code, to help people file bankruptcy
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microscope? To get to the other slide. • How do you tell the gender of a chromosome? Pull down its genes. • When mom asked dad to start a garden, the first thing he dug up was an excuse. • Why does winter seam so long? Because it comes in one year and out the other.
Committed to Colorado
Bring your bracelets, necklaces, rings, even broken jewelry. We will be buying all types of gold and paying cash.* In just 15 min. you can turn your unused gold into cash!
We pay the highest prices! For more information visit
www.CashInHandForGold.com or call 303-819-7325
Host a Party! Call or go online for details.
1080 S Colorado Denver CO 80246 Service: 303-691-1264
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* For your security we pay you with a check that you can cash or deposit to your bank account
• It’s raining cats and dogs! I know, I just stepped in a poodle. • A bachelor is a man that is foot-loose and fiancée free. • Prices of most goods are going up but prices on writing paper have remained stationery.
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