Family Connections Winter 2013 by BC Council for Families

FamilyConnections The BC Council for Families Magazine Winter 2013

 the children's rights issue  understanding the convention: the crucial role of parental guidance

pg. 14

Children’s rights: What parents need to know

pg. 10

reader review: the nature principle human restoration and the end of nature-deficit disorder

pg. 6

Participating in Family Life

pg. 18

Council for Families

FamilyConnections

editor Tina Albrecht art director & design Tina Albrecht contributors Alex Prier, Cara Hykawy, Carla Plekan, Christina Thiele, Joel Kaplan, Dr. Katherine Covell, Kristine Webber, Mary Ellen Turpel-Lafond, Tina Albrecht subscriptions By membership with the BC Council for Families. www.bccf.ca Family Connections is published four times per year by the BC Council for Families. Opinions expressed are those of the authors and not necessarily those of the Council, its members or funders. #208 – 1600 West 6th Ave Vancouver, bc v6J 1R3 t 604 678 8884 e editor@bccf.ca www.bccf.ca Established in 1977, the BC Council for Families is a registered non-profit society. Registration #0488189-09-28

volume 16, issue 3 winter 2013

Focus 10 Children’s rights: What parents need to know Are we doing enough to ensure that the essential rights of our children are being met? Christina Thiele and Katherine Covell go over the United Nations Convention for the Rights of the Child, and make suggestions for little things that can be done to meet all requirements of the treaty. Christina Thiele & Dr. Katherine Covell 14 Understanding the Convention: the Crucial Role of Parental Guidance BC’s Representative for Children and Youth, Mary Ellen Turpel-Lafond, discusses the responsibilities of the government, parent, and child in upholding the UNCRC. Mary Ellen Turpel-Lafond, BC Representative for Children and Youth

Departments 3 From the Editor’s Desk

issn#1195-9428 officers of the society Sylvia Tremblay · President, Fraser Paula Cayley · Vice President, Vancouver Coastal Victor Zhou · Treasurer, Vancouver Coastal Joel Kaplan · Executive Director board of directors Sultan Almajil · Interior Deb Day · Island Karl Eberle · North Tim Fairgrieve · Vancouver Coastal Lynn Locher · North Melanie McConnell · Vancouver Coastal Sandra Routledge · Vancouver Coastal John Thornburn · Fraser Katie Tichauer · Vancouver Coastal Jay Timms · Fraser

4 News & Notes The Council releases a new series of resources for families struggling with money issues, our new training Risk Management for Home Visitor debuts this January and our documentary ‘Left 2 Live’ looks at the impact of suicide, and explores the grieving and healing process that teens and young adults experience . 6 Toolbox Book Review: The Nature Principle Human Restoration and the End of NatureDeficit Disorder 7 Good to Know There is still much to be done to uphold children's rights in Canada. 8 Connections Carla Plekan, Young Parent Program Supervisor, Burnaby South Childcare

18 Balancing Act Fulfilling every aspect of the UNCRC might seem overwhelming, but it doesn’t have to be.

2 Family Connections Winter 2013

From the Editor’s Desk

Welcome to the new year, one We also had the opportunity to chat with that I hope will be filled with Carla Plekan about her amazing 25-year success, growth and happiness career, dedicated to working with young for all of you. I am very pleased that the parents (pg 8). She shares with us her joys, first issue of Family Connections in 2013 challenges and hopes for the future of is bringing forward such a vital topic young parents in BC. concerning the health and well-being of children and families here in BC. The Kristine Webber of the Young Naturalists’ importance of children’s rights and how Club of BC reviews the recently released book they apply to our daily lives here in Canada The Nature Principle: Human Restoration can often be overlooked or forgotten. In a and the End of Nature-Deficit Disorder. country where many of us are so privileged it is hard to imagine that some of our Don't forget that February 11th will be children’s basic rights aren’t being met. BC's first Family Day. To celebrate Family Day we are asking all of our readers to On the pages of this issue of Family share with us how you and your family will Connections we will be examining the be spending Family Day. You can send us United Nations Convention on the Rights a message on facebook, on twitter or even of the Child (UNCRC) and how this send us an old-fashioned email. No matter document can be applied to our children how big or small your plans are we would living in Canada. We also discuss various love to hear from you! As for me, I hope to ways in which we can incorporate these be up in the mountains snowshoeing. rights. The word “right” in the sense that we are talking about can sometimes sound I hope that you find this issue to be a bit daunting. For this reason we have inspirational and informative to your work. invited expert Mary Ellen Turpel-Lafond, As we move into the New Year it is also my BC’s Representative for Children and hope that as a province we will gain some Youth, to share her thoughts and to explain forward motion in upholding the rights of just how useful a tool the UNCRC can be all children in BC. Thanks for reading. As for families and caregivers advocating for always, if you have comments, questions, children in BC (pg 14). or suggestions about anything you read in Family Connections, just drop me a line at Our other contributors, Christina Thiele editor@bccf.ca. and Dr Katherine Covell, take a closer look at what parents need to know about their children’s rights, as well as share ideas for using the UNCRC in your home on a daily basis (pg 10). Our communications Tina Albrecht, Editor assistant Cara Hykawy points out that balancing children’s rights and family life doesn’t have to be a chore but rather a fantastic way to bond and grow.

Winter 2013 Family Connections 3

News & Notes

the mystery out of finances, answer your questions, and give you the confidence, skills and resources to discuss basic money management topics with parents and other family members in your daily work. Money Cent$ is specifically designed for practitioners serving vulnerable demographics including young parents, newcomers to Canada, Aboriginal families, single parent families, and parents experiencing barriers to employment. Visit our website at bccf.ca to learn more about these exclusive professional development resources.

Making Sense of Financial Issues Money issues put a lot of stress on families, and when we work with families day to day, we hear about their struggles and challenges. As trusted sources of information, parents may often turn to a family support practitioner for help or advice. Yet we’re not trained financial experts! The BC Council for Families is proud to present our newest series of resources:

Money Cent$: How to Talk with Parents about Finances. If you’re wondering what to do when a client approaches you with a financial question or shares their money worries, these resources can help. Increasing your own knowledge of personal finance is an important first step in communicating with your clients about monetary concerns. This workbook, which includes tip sheets for families will take 4 Family Connections Winter 2013

professionals whose aim is promoting healthy family development within the province. Thank you to our spectacular presenters, and all of the participants who came ready to engage and participate! We look forward to seeing you again next year, for what we’re sure will be another successful conference.

Another year, another successful conference Every fall, Young Parent Program workers from across the province join us in Vancouver for our annual Alliance for Young Parents conference. This year’s conference – Finding Common Ground: Programs, Partnerships and Policy to Build Healthy Families – was a great success! Featuring presenters who discussed a variety of topics including child rights, promoting resilience, the effects of technology on children, and strategies to reduce bullying, our two-day event was jam-packed with new, exciting, and relevant information for practitioners to use in their work with families. We love families, and more than that, we love healthy families. This annual collaboration of thought-provoking speakers, interactive learning, and professional development training is a tremendous resource for youth workers and other family

In the wake of suicide It seems that lately, it’s far too often that we see highly publicized stories in the news of youth who died by suicide. Whether these youth have struggled with mental health issues, problems at school or home, or bullying, the sudden loss of a young loved one can seem like an insurmountable tragedy. When a loved one passes away by suicide, there is the risk of what is termed the “copycat” effect. That is, other individuals in the community who were close to the victim, or who consumed a large amount of the publicized media surrounding the death, are at risk of also taking their life. In fact, youth who experience losing a loved one to suicide are 6 times more likely to die by suicide

Connect with readers. Connect with families. Advertising in Family Connections is a great way to showcase your events or services. Family Connections helps you get your message out to family service professionals all across BC. themselves within a year. This frightening statistic is why we’ve produced a documentary called Left 2 Live. The film looks at the impact of suicide, and explores the emotionally powerful grieving and healing process that teens and young adults experience (including important insights into the process of recovery). ‘Left 2 Live’ affords young people the opportunity to use their voices and wisdom to help others learn how to cope after the suicide of a loved one. Both this film, and its accompanying resources were created to be used by professionals in group settings. We encourage you to watch the footage and access the diverse array of suicidecoping resources in our bookstore. Visit bccf.ca for more information.

Risk Management for Home Visitors Training Home visitors work in a variety of environments: families’ homes, apartments, women’s shelters, homes of clients’ friends or family, and community locations. Workers doing family support work are at increased risk of injury, adverse health effects and exposure to violence. These workers are considered to be working alone; and many home visiting programs managed by community social service agencies do not have specific policies or procedures in place to effectively monitor workers’ locations, ensure their safety on client visits, or be sure that workers are aware of the risks and dangers of their work and how to assess and mitigate those risks.

Here at the Council we are developing a 1-day workshop on Risk Management for Home Visitors, supported by funding from WorkSafeBC. In collaboration with an occupational health and safety consultant, the Council will draw on the experience, resources, policy and procedures of home visiting programs around the US and Canada. The workshop will address the 3 key points of when safety and risk management should be addressed; before planning a visit, during a visit, and afterwards. Experience has shown that following well-thought out procedures and policies, and providing workers with sufficient and appropriate training will help reduce risks from violence, adverse health effects such as infection, psychological impact from being caught up in traumatic situations, and motor vehicle accidents. We will pilot this innovative and exciting workshop as an addition to the Integrated Strategies for Home Visiting Training in Vancouver, Jan 21–25/2013. This additional day of training, made possible by WorkSafeBC, will further enhance the skills and support of the many people that work hard to help families across the province. Be sure to register for this training on our website at bccf.ca or by calling us at 604-678-8884.

special member rates To book your advertisement, contact: Tina Albrecht, tinaa@bccf.ca Our next ad deadline is January 31, 2013.

HealthyFamilies! Family news you need to know. • New research • Policies and programs • Reports and statistics • Trainings and professional development • Events and updates from the BC Council for Families Free! Delivered to your desktop every Monday. Subscribe online: www.bccf.ca

Winter 2013 Family Connections 5

Toolbox

reader reviews  What

 Kristine Webber

have you been reading lately? To contribute a review, contact us at editor@bccf.ca

Book Review: The Nature Principle Human Restoration and the End of NatureDeficit Disorder  Richard

Louv, Publisher: Algonquin Books of Chapel Hill, 2011 In 2005, Richard Louv captured the attention of not only the naturalist community but of parents, caregivers and educators with the release of Last Child in the Woods, Saving our Children from Nature-Deficit Disorder. Many nodded their heads in sage agreement as he gave voice to observations that today’s children were missing essential, formative experiences in nature – experiences that would make them happier, healthier and smarter. Last Child in the Woods has been credited with “spawning an international movement to reconnect kids and nature,” and it couldn’t be more aligned with the mission of the Young Naturalists’ Club of BC. However, I found it a hard read. Perhaps I have an overactive imagination but as I read it, my mind would wander to a film-noir future populated by these nature deficit disorder kids grown into unhealthy, nature-ignorant adults, their sallow skin glowing in the digital light of their computer screens, as species after species slide into extinction. It took me a long time to finish Last Child. I found it rather depressing, and a bit long. Understandably I approached Richard Louv’s next book, The Nature Principle with some caution. I resolved to only read it 6 Family Connections Winter 2013

when I was feeling strong and optimistic. To my surprise, it took me scant pages to be drawn in, my pencil underlining passages and making notes for follow up in the margins or on colorful stickies. The Nature Principle is not just a sequel to Last Child in the Woods, it is a hopeful roadmap to re-nature our lives, communities and the planet. In The Nature Principle Louv extends the Nature Deficit Disorder thesis to encompass adults as well as children. He builds his case for the many benefits of time spent in nature through personal stories, anecdotes and interviews with a myriad of practitioners around North America. Sure we all need more Vitamin N, but in The Nature Principle Louv explores what that might look like. Louv does not eschew the reality of a modern world. He speaks to his personal challenges and optimistically proposes that we can realize the benefits of a “hybrid mind”. The Nature Principle is not a lament to the glories of nature past but a forwardlooking call to action. It challenges us to integrate nature into our lives from the place and time we are at today and within our own sphere of influence. He doesn’t argue that it is less urgent to protect and conserve habitat, to advocate for parks or to rally against ridiculous pipelines, but proposes that much can be accomplished by focusing in re-naturing our own homes, streets, neighbourhoods (“near is the new far”) and relationships. He builds a case that

the cumulative impact of individuals living a restorative lifestyle and integrating the Nature Principle into their lives will be profound for both people and the planet. When it comes to the planet, Louv adroitly pens, “there is no practical alternative to hope”. The Nature Principle is a welcome and hopeful addition to any bookshelf or e-reader.

 Kristine Webber

Kristine is the Executive Director of the Young Naturalists’ Club of BC www.ync.ca. The Young Naturalists’ Club of BC is an exciting club-based nature discovery program for children and their families. At the YNC, children aged 5–12 discover the wonders of the natural world as they explore the outdoors on Explorer Day field trips, read about nature in NatureWILD magazine and step up for wildlife with Stewardship projects, Citizen Science initiatives and an Action Awards program. The YNC has become widely recognized as a leader in enabling British Columbian children to achieve their full potential derived from exposure to nature. The YNC is the only organization of its kind in BC and the largest provincial network of nature clubs for children and families.

Good to Know

“In 2000, children and youth under the age of 18 years represented 23% of the Canadian population and comprised 23% of the victims of sexual and physical assault.”

Children are the foremost victims of sexual violence • Overall, children and youth made up a much larger proportion of sexual assault victims (61%) than physical assault victims (19%). (Statistics Canada, 2002) • The majority of child and youth victims of assaults reported to the police in 2000 were assaulted by acquaintances (52%), followed by family members (23%) and strangers (19%). • For cases of sexual assault, acquaintances were the perpetrators for almost half (49%), followed by family members (30%) and strangers (15%). • Similarly, more than half of the child and youth victims of physical assaults were assaulted by acquaintances, followed by family members (21%) or strangers (20%). (Statistics Canada, 2002) Child labour is not just a third world phenomenon • Kane (1998) cites reports of more than 400 child prostitutes in Calgary and up to 3000 in Montreal.

• It is estimated that there are about 100 offences relating to the child sex trade in Vancouver every day. (ECPAT International, 1999) • Workers aged 15 to 24 accounted for 17% of all workplace injuries in 1999. There were over 62,000 time-loss injuries among that age group. (CCSD, 2002) Aboriginal children face more barriers • Among Aboriginal children, whether living on or off reserve, almost one in two lives in poverty. (Campaign 2000, 2002) • Aboriginal people are 4 times more likely to report ever experiencing hunger than the non-Aboriginal population. (Campaign 2000, 2002) • 8% of Aboriginals aged 15 to 19 are parents. (Statistics Canada, Census 1996)

who fail to teach them right and wrong, who do not monitor their whereabouts, friends, or activities, and who discipline them erratically and harshly. • They grow up in homes with considerable conflict, marital discord, and perhaps even violence. • Families at greatest risk of delinquency are those suffering from limited coping resources, social isolation, and (among parents) poor parenting skills. (CSW, 2000) All taken from: http://www.opcr.org/English/stats_ canada.htm

Children who are at risk face certain circumstances • They receive little love, affection, or warmth, and are physically or emotionally rejected and/or abandoned by their parents. • They are inadequately supervised by parents Winter 2013 Family Connections 7

Connections

Carla Plekan Young Parent Program Supervisor, Burnaby South Childcare

Carla Plekan is in her 25th year of service in childcare, and her 10th year as supervisor of Burnaby South Childcare, the Young Parent Program’s childcare service. She started her career as a full-time substitute teacher. She has been active with the council for ten years (when it was still called the BC Alliance Concerning Early Pregnancy and Parenting!). Carla enjoys any physical activities, but playing tennis and taking dance lessons in particular. fc: You have been working with young parents for more than a decade. Looking back on your career, can you paint us a picture of how things have changed for young parents in BC? How have the needs of young parents changed over the last 10 years and how have services evolved to meet those changing needs? carla plekan: Over the years I have met some youth who have had to face unbelievable challenges. Some were successful, others not as much, but the childcare program has always played its best part in building a great connection to the classroom staff and the youth it supports. 8 Family Connections Winter 2013

I remember when getting the youth to attend the program was one of our biggest concerns. Financial support for transportation has decreased. Although there are still many barriers to attendance, the greatest challenges often have to do with mental health issues, homelessness and substance abuse. Over the more recent years the streamlining of subsidy processes have been found so beneficial. Young parents are now approved for a whole school year, and childcare supervisors have access to the BC adjudicator for the subsidies if there are any questions or concerns (the dollar amount has increased as well). It seems that it is more difficult to access income assistance now. The service is all online and the wait period for approval can be 3 weeks or longer. In Burnaby we work hard to get our youth connected with all applicable community resources. Our goal is to connect them before they leave us! fc: From your experience, what kind specific supports can teachers, family service providers and other professionals give young parents?

cp: Believe it or not: food! Budgeting, purchasing, storing, and cooking food for themselves; buying local, healthy choices and learning food safety – all of these skills are so valuable. These students are hungry and can benefit so much from learning techniques that they can duplicate in their own home. Young parents need a lot of help understanding their finances, including doing their income tax which directly reflects their child tax benefits. Medical support through youth clinics has proven beneficial but there is not always an available person to take the youth there and do the initial connection. Some youth will go by themselves, but often they prefer an adult to accompany them the first time. fc: Where is improvement still needed to help ensure that the basic rights of young parents and their children are met? cp: There is not adequate or affordably priced housing for young moms in Burnaby. A non-profit society to manage a portion of co-op housing for young parents would be an invaluable improvement. Child poverty in BC is also increasing.

I am always eager to learn more about the way a teenager’s brain works. They are going through so much development during their teen years and when you add parenting to that it becomes quite a challenging time.

fc: How can those who are working with these vulnerable young families be better advocates? cp: Always believe in the capacity of these youth to grow, learn and develop. Empower them by giving them the information they need, question them as to their thoughts on their own situation and respect them for where they are at this time in their life. Always be ready with a smile. Welcome them to your space (childcare place, office, classroom). This may feel like home to them. fc: As a professional, what resources or training do you feel have the greatest impact on your work? cp: I am always eager to learn more about the way a teenager’s brain works. They are going through so much development during their teen years and when you add parenting to that it becomes quite a challenging time. My staff are interested in this as well because it helps them to communicate with the teens. A day-long workshop that has displays and information from all applicable community support services would be an excellent

learning opportunity for childcare staff who are frontline workers with these families. fc: With the recent attention that has been brought to Canada’s role in upholding the United Nations Convention on The Rights of Child, how successful do you feel the province of BC has been at addressing the rights of children and youth, and young parents in particular? cp: When I consider whether or not young parents have been provided with a structure that will allow them equal opportunity to participate in society, I come up with the following: The province on the whole has programs in place at the secondary level (and some others) to support the young parent. However, there is a lack of consistency in the type of supports and models offered. A non-traditional school setting that specifically supports the student parent in reaching their goals would be ideal (ie: low teacher-student ratio, flexible timetables, meal programs, transportation assistance and on-site childcare. The province has made positive

changes to the subsidy for young parents and a mandate to keep it, however there is little or no allowances made for transportation to and from school. Youths now have to pay for that out of their food and shelter budgets. The province is severely lacking in the provision of appropriate housing for these youth. Many of our students move often due to poor circumstances (rodent or bed bug infestation, high costs, crime). To prevent victimization I think the housing situation needs to improve.

Winter 2013 Family Connections 9

Focus

Children’s rights: What parents need to know  Christina Thiele & Dr. Katherine Covell

While most parents will instinctively protect their child’s basic rights, it is still worth understanding the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child and what it means for all adults and children.

5 simple ways to implement child rights at home 1 Help children to understand the rights of children in other parts of the world. 2 Involve children in decision-making. Start small and build the responsibilities as your child develops. For example, a younger child can pick between two shirts when they are getting dressed, an older child can be involved in meal planning. 3 Invite your childâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s friend over for dinner. 4 Support your childâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s interests and strengths; ask them about their ideas and viewpoint. 5 Volunteer with your child for a cause they believe in.

Focus

ovember 20 marks National Children’s Day in Canada, but it also marks 21 years since the government of Canada ratified the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child (UNCRC), obligating Canada to promote, implement, protect, and monitor the rights of children. Even though three countries have not signed on, the UNCRC is still the world’s most ratified international treaty. It is the product of over 10 years of research, and was written

funding for education, social programs, housing, and other essentials. This results in too many First Nations children living without clean or running water, with substandard housing, experiencing high teacher turnover, and fewer resources in schools. Many BC families are victims of the “Generation Squeeze” (for more information on this, check out Dr. Paul Kershaw’s work). Parents struggle to cover the rising cost of living, working more hours in a week than

Parents, caregivers, and family are a child’s best ally in every respect–especially when supporting children to learn about their rights. with the aim of ensuring that every child grows up “… in the spirit of peace, dignity, tolerance, freedom, equality, and solidarity” (UNCRC Preamble). Don’t Canadian kids have it pretty good? UNICEF Canada's President and CEO David Morley said that "in areas such as education, Canadian children on average fare better than most of their peers in other countries but Canada’s children have higher than average rates of injury, suicide, drug and alcohol use and unhealthy weight compared to their peers in many other industrial countries.” Here in BC we know that about 137,000 children are poor. That is approximately the same as the total populations of Kamloops, Fort St. John, Port Alberni, and Powell River combined. To further put this in perspective, this represents approximately 1/6 of the children in our province (First Call: BC Child and Youth Advocacy Coalition’s Poverty Report Card). Poverty is the most influential social determinant of health and has lifelong repercussions on the physical, mental, and emotional outcomes of children. First Nations children often bear the brunt of rights violations in Canada. Funding formulas used by the Federal Government are different from those used by the provincial governments. This means that First Nations children living on reserve may receive lower 12 Family Connections Winter 2013

their parents, resulting in less time and energy to engage with their children. Quality child care, especially early child care is expensive and often inaccessible. This means that children spend more indoors and in front of a screen, both of which can impact children’s health and well-being. But why do children need rights? Children rely on adult duty bearers to speak up for them in situations where they do not have a voice. A set of rights ensures the adults in their lives (including government) know the minimum standards of what children need to survive and develop. Having an internationally agreed upon set of minimum standards gives us a framework to advocate for the children in our lives. And who better to advocate for children and youth than parents? Parents, caregivers, and family are a child’s best ally in every respect– especially when supporting children to learn about their rights. Children’s rights and advocacy UNCRC is an excellent advocacy tool parents can use to support themselves and their children. Because the Canadian government ratified the UNCRC, there is a responsibility for the provincial and federal governments to support parents, caregivers, and families with implementing child rights. The UNCRC

tasks governments with assisting parents in providing care for children. What does government support for parents look like? In most cases it means creating supportive policies that enrich family life in the form of financial supports towards childcare, providing parenting programs (like Nobody’s Perfect, My Tween and Me, and Parent-Child Mother Goose!), legislating fair wages so families can afford the things they need, and creating systems to protect vulnerable children, all with the lens of putting the needs of young people and their families first. Teaching Children and youth about their rights When young people learn about their rights they usually have an intuitive understanding that yes, they have rights but so do others. Young people tend to take the responsibility of upholding the rights of others very seriously. Children who learn about their rights are less likely to be victimized and are more likely to stand up for others when they see others being victimized. Sometimes parents are uneasy about teaching children and youth about their rights because there is a fear that if children know about their rights it will make them disrespect their parents or make them difficult to discipline. In reality, the UNCRC repeatedly upholds the important role parents have in the lives of children and says that governments must respect the responsibility of parents for providing guidance to their children. Article 12 of the UNCRC says that children have the right to express their views in matters that affect them but this does not give kids authority over adults. The article is about encouraging all adults (not just parents) to listen to the opinions of children and involve them in decision-making. Involving children in decision-making in a way that is appropriate to a child’s level of maturity helps children and youth develop into skilled decision makers. It also improves their selfesteem and sense of self-worth.

Do I have to memorize all the rights?

Child and youth rights in the community Parents can encourage schools to provide opportunities for children to participate in school – through school councils and newspapers, and by having student representatives on all school committees. Children who participate in their classrooms and schools are highly engaged in school tend to have better peer and teacher relationships, and higher levels of achievement. Children who participate in their communities have a sense of worth, belonging, and being respected. Without these positive developmental characteristics, children are more vulnerable to negative influences such as substance abuse and gang membership. If their voices, wishes, and goals are suppressed they are also vulnerable to depression, anxiety, and antisocial behaviors. Participation in school is, unfortunately, not often provided for in Canada. But parents can help by being involved in their child’s schooling, and by allowing some self-direction in choices of sports, books, elective courses, and future educational and career goals. When children are involved they learn from adults how decisions are made. Children and youth also have the right to be involved in legal matters. Parents, social workers, immigration workers, judges, lawyers, and teachers are also obligated to consult children on matters that affect them to help make decisions that are in the best interest.

There are 54 articles and 2 optional protocols in the Convention that outlines child rights and obligations of the ‘duty bearers’ (all adults). You don’t have to memorize all the different rights in order to understand and use child rights, a simple way to determine what rights children and youth have and how to exercise the rights is to know the four guiding principles. 1 Non-discrimination, these rights are for all children. Children and youth have the right to be treated

to participate in family life. Research in child development has consistently shown that from infancy through to late adolescence, children benefit greatly from participating in their families, schools and communities. Having a say and being heard lets children know they are valuable; it increases their self-esteem and their motivation to succeed.

without discrimination and have the right to be who they are. 2 Right to life, survival, and development. Children have the right not just to live, but to develop to their fullest potential. 3 Best interests of the child. Ask yourself, is this in my child’s best interest? 4 Engaging children and youth. Include children and youth when making decisions that impact them.

 Christina Thiele

Christina is the Communications and Child Rights Project Coordinator for the Society for Children and Youth of BC, serves on the board for the Environmental Youth Alliance, and is an alumnus of

Children who participate in their family life grow to be confident, responsible, and good decision-makers. Participation in the family can start early with limited choices of food, toys, books, and clothes. As children grow they can be included in many areas of family decisionmaking – meals, movies, and vacations, and later budgetary decisions. And where needed, children can have a voice in foster care, adoption, and custody issues. What is important in each area is that parents and guardians listen to their children and take their thoughts into account in decision-making. It can be challenging, especially as children do not necessarily understand the bigger picture as it relates to the situation under discussion. But they can be carefully heard and taken seriously in decision-making. It’s having being listened to and understood that matters for children, not having their way.

the United Way Public Policy Institute. She introduced BC’s first Child Rights Public Awareness Campaign in 2012 and is passionate about creating and promoting child and youth friendly communities.

 Dr. Katherine Covell

Katherine is a Professor of Psychology and Executive Director of the Children’s Rights Centre at Cape Breton University. Dr. Covell’s research and teaching is focused on the developmental implications of the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child, in particular on children’s rights education. Dr. Covell has published numerous articles and four books on children’s rights, and is passionate about advocating for children.

Rights at home A cornerstone of upholding children’s rights is ensuring child and youth have opportunities Winter 2013 Family Connections 13

Focus

Understanding the Convention: the Crucial Role of Parental Guidance ď&#x192;Ş Mary Ellen Turpel-Lafond, BC Representative for Children and Youth

We invited Mary Ellen Turpel-Lafond, BCâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s representative for Children and Youth, to discuss her interpretation of the importance of the UNCRC and the responsibilities it places on adults. She wrote us back with much more: her insights on the convention as a parent, as well as a professionalâ&#x20AC;Ś

Focus

Understanding the responsibility that goes along with decision-making is vital. Children need to learn that decisions have outcomes or consequences, and can be either beneficial or detrimental to themselves and others.

reetings, everyone, and thank you resources, they are not fully autonomous, and giving more responsibility to governments. for providing space here again for their capacity to care entirely for themselves The Convention places on governments the my message. The “children’s rights” evolves over time. responsibility to protect and assist families theme of this issue of Family Connections is Sometimes, for a variety of reasons, in fulfilling their essential role as nurturers of particular interest to me – both as a parent parents, caregivers and institutions struggle of children, viewing parents and legal and because of the work I do. At the Office with embracing the Convention on the Rights guardians as having primary responsibility for of the Representative for Children and Youth, of the Child, thinking that it weakens parental the nurturing of children. The UNCRC only the United Nations Convention on the Rights authority and refers only to rights, ignoring supports the government assuming primary of the Child (UNCRC) is central to our work. the importance of responsibilities. Let’s take responsibility for the care of children when Among many important sections, these values a closer look at the Convention and why it is parents are unable to protect children from are important: so important. abuse or neglect. • Children have a right to be protected and The UNCRC was adopted by the United In fact, the Convention has a lot to say kept safe Nations in 1989. Canada, with the agreement about responsibilities, not just children’s • Families are the best environment for raising of the provinces and territories, became a rights. The Convention is about entitlement a child signatory in 1991. for children, but it also stresses the • Parents and extended family have the primary The goal of the UNCRC is to enable all responsibility of children to respect the rights responsibility for a child children to develop to their full potential. The of others. • Decisions made about children should include 54 articles contained in the Convention are There can sometimes be confusion around their own views and input. interconnected and all are equally important. Article 3 of the Convention, which talks about They can be summarized as the right to: child participation in decision-making on their It is important to remember why the • be safe (protection from all forms of abuse) behalf, and respecting the views of a child. member countries of the United Nations • be healthy (health care, education, leisure/play) When adults are making decisions that affect felt it was necessary to adopt a children’s • be myself (non-discrimination, cultural and children, children have the right to say what rights convention. Children and youth have religious identity) they think should happen and to have their a heightened vulnerability because of their • be heard (participation). opinions taken into account. This does not gradual development. They are dependent mean that children can tell their parents what on adults for protection, provision and The UNCRC supports the role of parents, to do, nor does it give children authority over participation. They have no independent rather than weakening parental authority and adults. But it does mean that decision-makers 16 Family Connections Winter 2013

What's your family doing for BC's first ever Family Day? Cooking, going on a hike, enjoying nature, playing board games… We want to hear about how you and your family plan to spend the day together! We are asking you, all of our readers to share with us how you and your family will be spending Family Day. You can send us a message on facebook, on twitter or even send us an old-fashioned email. Keep an eye on our facebook and twitter pages for more details.

(generally parents or legal guardians) should take a child’s views into consideration. We call this children having their say, not necessarily their way, if it is not in their best interest. Moreover, the Convention recognizes that the level of a child’s participation in decisions must be appropriate to the child's level of maturity. Children's ability to form and express their opinions develops with age, with most adults naturally giving the views of teenagers greater weight than those of a preschooler, whether in family, legal or administrative decisions. Decision-making is guided by parents, to the ultimate end that as a growing child’s capacity evolves, he or she becomes the decision-maker. As a parent of young children and a teenager, I see the importance of why we must encourage children to participate in decision-making. It helps them to develop a sense of internal control, self-mastery, and ultimately confidence – things we all hope our children will have throughout their lives. Understanding the responsibility that goes along with decision-making is vital. Children need to learn that decisions have outcomes or consequences, and can be either beneficial or detrimental to themselves and others.

This lesson needs to be learned in a safe, monitored way at home, or at school. For more information on the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child, visit the UNICEF website. This past summer, I presented a paper at the first International Summer Course on the Rights of the Child in Moncton, N.B. Making Human Rights Relevant to Children examines how human rights can be made real for children in their every day worlds. It draws attention to challenges in defining children's human rights, determining what rights are relevant to children, and the complexity of international human rights law as the legal source for children's human rights. To view this paper, please visit our website at www.rcybc.ca and click on Resources/Papers and Submissions. Please contact my office at any time if you would like to talk to an advocate, or have any comments or concerns. You can reach us from anywhere in the province at 1-800-476-3933 or email us at rcy@rcybc.ca, and you can keep up to date with my office’s activities by following us on Facebook. Sincerely, Mary Ellen Turpel-Lafond

 Mary Ellen Turpel-Lafond

Mary Ellen Turpel-Lafond is BC’s Representative for Children and Youth. She holds a doctorate of law from Harvard Law School, a master’s degree in international law from Cambridge University, and a law degree from Osgoode Hall. A member of the Muskeg Lake Cree Nation, she is active in her First Nations community. She actively supports healthy families and seeks greater respect and recognition for the unique situation of children in society, particularly vulnerable children.

Winter 2013 Family Connections 17

Balancing Act

Including your Child in Family Life and Decision Making Breaking down the more daunting aspects of the UNCRC into simple steps that can be taken in every-day family life is easier than you might think.

ith all this talk about children’s implementation of any culture related activities. you would like them to be more involved in rights, you may feel reluctant to the life of the family may just influence them to Incorporating your child more fully into attempt to incorporate these policies help out around the house more often. family, community, and cultural life isn’t just into an already time-constrained family and work After explaining these rights to your child, beneficial simply because the UN Convention life. Here’s the good news, you’re likely already says it is. There are many research-backed you can then work with them (remember championing a good majority of these rights for reasons why taking these steps to be more they have valuable opinions that you can your child from day-to-day! inclusive promotes family and community utilize in your planning) to develop an outline The UN Convention on the Rights of health. A positive sense of community can help as to how you, your child, and the rest of the Child established in 1989 lays out a to build resiliency in children. Resilience is an your family are going to improve on meeting set of universally agreed upon and noninner quality that can help people deal with these rights. It is generally a given that you negotiable standards and obligations in problems and respond well to a range of life are already meeting your child’s most basic regards to children’s rights. According to the events. Additionally, being inclusive of your rights, so encourage your child to get more Convention, children should be afforded: child can lead them to develop a feeling of involved in life around the house, the family’s connectedness. This is positive because it allows social life, and the cultural life of both your • The right to survival the child to feel like they belong and that they family and the greater community. • The right to develop to the fullest have strong, meaningful relationships with The following are some suggestions as to • Protection from harmful influences, abuse & family, peers, and mentors. These protective how you can begin this process in your family. exploitation factors allow children to be resilient, even in the If your child is of an age where they can take • The ability to participate fully in family, cultural, face of the temptation to engage in harmful or on more responsibility around the house, let and social life risky behaviours. them help! Be it cleaning, helping to prepare meals, or even occasionally picking out family Fulfilling the full scope of your child’s rights While the majority of parents strive doesn’t have to be difficult! Talking to your activities to engage in, having conversations to protect their child’s right to survival, child, letting them know you value them as a with your child about what they would like development, and protection from harm, the person, and making little changes so they are to contribute to the household, and what fourth category is one that, in today’s hectic more often included in family life, is a workable they are ready to take on is an important world, more often gets neglected. Integrating task. As champion of your children’s rights, you aspect of this process. Although every parent your child more fully into family, cultural, can make the difference in whether your child needs time to himself or herself, including and social life is an attainable goal. In fact, feels like an integral part of your family. your child in your social interactions with the steps you can take to move towards friends, or extended family every-so-often can implementing this right more comprehensively be beneficial. Instead of banishing children in your child’s life are really quite simple. to a ‘kids table’ at family events, make an Sitting down with your child and informing attempt to accommodate them, and interact them of the rights attributed to them and with them. Occasionally hosting parties, or what they mean is an important first step. By attending get-togethers that are family friendly, describing these rights and all that they entail and inclusive of children can make kids feel  Cara Hykawy to your child in age appropriate language, you more important and appreciated. Finally, make Cara is a recent graduate of the University of British are letting them know that they are valued sure to involve your child in cultural traditions Columbia with a degree in Psychology. She works in as a person, and have an important role to and customs that are important to your family. the Communications Department at the BC Council for play within the family structure. Parents Whether you identify with a specific cultural Families, where she enthusiastically advocates for families are often concerned that their child might background, or have developed traditions and family serving professionals. Cara is passionate about misunderstand and start citing their rights as that are special to your personal family, teach utilizing social media to help get the message out that an excuse to not do their homework, or even your child about the culture they come from, healthy families equal healthy communities. clean their room! In fact, letting them know and associate them in the planning and 18 Family Connections Winter 2013

The Final Word

The Times They Are A Changin’… One of the “poet laureates” of the music industry, Bob Dylan, sings this gritty song. I think he was referring to the future of the BC Council for Families. Previous leaders of this agency have discussed the need for strategic marketing and for the Council to “stand on their own two feet”. In order for us to accomplish these goals, our branding and financial objectives can no longer remain mutually exclusive. You, the families, stakeholders, and agencies need an NPO with the resources and dedication to survive in what is a very competitive and duplicative environment for obtaining government funding, grants, and donations. We will be moving forward with focused intentions: financial sustainability, expanding the audience that receives our programs, and building new relationships with the families that are directly impacted by our work. We can’t accomplish this all on our own, so “gather round people wherever you roam…” Thus far, the Council has not had the financial support it needs to function at its highest capacity. While we generate funds from our bookstore and from the service fees of our workshops, the public donations and contributions from the thousands of families and professionals that have benefitted from our programs are falling short. It is certainly a shame because we do important work. The council needs a diverse support system of individuals and families in order to succeed. We have begun to compile a “menu of needs” that prioritizes our projects and the funds required to fuel them. The menu categorizes our service, program, training, and organizational needs. We plan to expand our available services to other sectors of the vast professional world. The Council will offer direct services to families and individuals in the communities large and small throughout the province using a sliding fee scale, on a fee-for-service basis. We hope to broaden the use of the My Tween and Me program, other childparent educational resources, family life education for the LGBTQ community, and other initiatives determined by need.

Our traditional approach has been to train the professional, rather than the parents. We currently have relationships with our program facilitators but little connection to the families whose lives are being impacted by the programs or training they have participated in. We feel this is an invaluable link that will allow for greater opportunities for advocacy and public policy work that will grow and strengthen over time. The bottom line is that the “times they are a changing” at the BC Council for Families. To our many readers: we need your support. On the following page there is a donation form that you can print out and mail or fax 604.678.8886. You can also donate by calling our office at 604.678.8884 or by accessing our secure website. Please do it today. Make the call, fax or mail in the form provided, or go to our secure website at www.bccf.ca. It is just that easy. I thank you for your support and the families throughout BC thank you as well. Enjoy BC Family Day on February 11th!!

Joel Kaplan, Executive Director

Winter 2013 Family Connections 19

At the BC Council for Families we truly love families. We’ve invested more than 30 years developing programs and resources that meet the needs of families – always focusing on prevention and proactive activities.

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