TIPS FOR ROOMMATE SUCCESS I hope you are excited as you prepare for life at Benedictine College! Your college roommates are an important and memorable part of college life. The Student Life Office puts a tremendous amount of work into identifying a roommate who is compatible with you. Even with this effort, it is important to understand that conflict is a natural aspect of sharing a room with another person. The good news is that when roommate conflict is handled in a respectful and positive manner, it provides a tremendous opportunity for personal growth and a strengthening of the roommate relationship. The following are some tips for success when it comes to roommate conflict:
➊ Understand That Roommate Conflict Will
Happen: A s stated before, conflict between
roommates is inevitable. This understanding will benefit you in two significant ways. First, it will prevent you from over-thinking that the conflict means the particular roommate situation is distinctively worse than those of your peers. Secondly, when conflict occurs, you will be prepared for it; use the tips below to help you prepare.
➋ Set Realistic Expectations: I t is helpful for you and the roommate to set realistic expectations for your relationship. There are times when roommates will become best friends, but that should not be how a successful roommate relationship is defined. You should expect the roommate to be courteous and respectful. Both roommates are responsible for ensuring that their room is comfortable and conducive to each other’s success at college.
➌ Fill Out the Roommate Agreement Form:
Your residence hall staff will provide Roommate Agreement Forms at move-in. This form identifies the most common areas of roommate conflict, such as studying, sleeping, guests, and use/borrowing of personal items. Each roommate will first write out his or her preferences on these topics and then discuss
them with each other. Through the discussion, roommates will make an agreement on how they will approach these areas. This agreement really can mitigate the occurrence of conflict in your room. Be sure to take it seriously and fill it out!
➍ Do Not Ignore Conflict: T he worst thing you can do is ignore conflict. This is often tempting as the cause of the conflict usually seems small and not worth mentioning. It is so much easier for you to talk with your roommate about a small issue as soon as it happens, rather than waiting until it becomes a larger issue. Present your concern with honesty and respect. It is also important for you to do so in person and avoid engaging in conflict through text or social media.
➎ Trust the Mediation Process: I f you have tried to have a conversation with your roommate about the cause of conflict without success, please alert your Resident Assistant (RA) or Residence Director (RD). These staff members are trained in mediating conflict and will help you and your roommate engage in conflict in a respectful manner, establish points of agreement and compromise, and ensure you are both comfortable in your room once again.
Finally, the greatest approach in minimizing or overcoming roommate conflict is to embrace our Benedictine Value of Hospitality. Make a commitment to being a roommate who engages in care, concern, and respect for your roommate’s well-being. I hope these strategies will help you to have a positive and successful residence life experience. Sincerely,
About the Author Sean Mulcahy, Ed.D. | Dean of Student Development Sean has worked in higher education administration for the past 20 years. He holds a doctorate in Higher Education Administration from the University of Kansas along with a Master’s degree in Education from Whitworth University and a Bachelor’s degree in Psychology from Carroll College. 15
