SATIRE
KO KO in a Nutshell
By Give Me Fierce
Title: Misplaced Compassion by Miso
A
famous convict politician once said, “Use your Kokote,” wise words, if only actions followed though. This is none other than the renowned breacher of protocol, Senator Un Koko Loco. It led to a series of inconsiderate activities and claims, a heartwarming relationship between the Department of Justice (DOJ) and Koko, and an unsilenced voice of protest. So let’s crack open this nut, and unravel this conundrum wrapped in a riddle. Amidst this global pandemic, it’s commonsense to adhere to the established laws and protocols when boxes start to tick in the COVID-criteria –stop what you’re doing and go into quarantine. Anyone who knows how to use their kokote would comply, well not this Koko –a hardheaded nutcase. Picture this, a man who starts feeling “body pains like flu” undergoes self-quarantine as it should be, then five days later decides to shop at the membership club S&R at Bonifacio Global City. Now going back a few days and quoting some of his statements, “I
quarantined myself since March 11, 2020, and already tried to limit my movements,” just to be clear he already breached the protocol. Fast forward to March 24, Koko heroically finds his way to Makati Medical Center to accompany his wife, who was scheduled to give birth via c-section the following day, mind you, his self-quarantine isn’t over yet. And to everyone’s surprise, he got a call saying he tested positive for
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COVID-19 whilst still inside the hospital. He then blurts out things like “oh I didn’t know I was positive ‘till now,” ignorance won’t get him anywhere. A bad surprise, a bad decision, and a bad excuse. He wanted to see his newborn, disregarding the fact that he hasn’t been feeling well and that HE IS STILL IN QUARANTINE. What kind of excuse could he possibly make? His foolishness resulted in jeopardizing the health and safety of the people he has come into contact with, when all he had to do was stay at home. These kinds of incidents shouldn’t be tolerated. Lives. Are. On. The. Line. What do we want? Justice! When do we need it? Now! Let’s turn our heads to Departmnet of Justice (DOJ) who, surprisingly, rolls their eyes on a warrantless arrest and appeals for “coMpASsioN.” Yes, it’s sad but true. Koko got away with it. “During abnormal times like this, when
people are prone to commit mistakes or violations of the law, the DOJ will temper the rigor of the law with human compassion. But this is not to say that the DOJ will not act upon the filing of a proper complaint by any interested party,” said Justice Secretary Guevarra. How convenient for Koko, right? Let’s not forget about the ordinary citizens who breached the same protocols and had similar circumstances as Koko, although they were sanctioned accordingly, maybe DOJ just handpicks who gets to be blessed
with compassion. Fortunately, the odds were in his favor. Who knows, they might have done some rigorous investigation called “KO-rruption and KO-nnection.” Mr. Koko is a well-deserved recipient of DOJ’s compassion; this act showcases the untouched scales of Lady Justice. Not to fret, we, the people, won’t allow this nonsense. Armed with social media, citizens take it to themselves to scream injustice and demand the authorities at the top, to do their jobs right. And to render it legal, lawyer Rico Quicho, former dean of the University of Makati School of Law filed a complaint against Koko for violating the notifiable diseases law when he breached the government’s quarantine protocols. And to people’s favor, a subpoena has been issued to Koko. He finally receives the golden ticket to court, again, a welldeserved recipient. Hoping for a just trial, together let’s take our ritual candles out and pray that he is served with the bitter taste of justice. In a nutshell, as cliché as it sounds, ignorance of the law excuses no one – especially politicians. Koko should learn his lesson like a big boy, DOJ should no longer cover up for his mistakes, compassion won’t set him free anymore –a fair amount of time behind bars would. And maybe next time, he would take his own advice to “Use your Kokote.”
