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JANUARY 2017

Vol. 3

&

No. 1

Montrose & Delta Counties’ Newspaper for Adults 50+. Over 13,650 Readers.

Health Wellness WINTER 2017

FREE INS IDE

Mind, body and spirit: How to make resolutions for optimal wellness

Your Guide to Health & Wellness

Visit us on the web at www.BeaconSeniorNews.com

BORROWED TIME

Time bank creates a helpful community

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www.BeaconSeniorNews.com

JANUARY 2017

The Beacon & Hilltop Senior Living Communities

For Those Age 55 and Better!

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 11 THE COMMONS OF HILLTOP GARDEN ROOM 625 27 1/2 ROAD, GRAND JUNCTION

7:30 - 10:30 pm

CASH BAR & APPETIZERS MUSIC BY CLARK GAULT’S SWING CITY EXPRESS FOR TICKETS CALL 243-8829 A D VA N C E T I C K E T S $ 2 0 P E R P E R S O N / $ 4 0 C O U P L E

AT T H E D O O R $ 2 5 P E R P E R S O N / $ 5 0 C O U P L E

JANUARY 2017

EDITORIAL

www.BeaconSeniorNews.com

Big data + big brother = bad ads

By Kevin K. VanGundy

I

t seems like just yesterday when local grocers implemented “member savings” programs. Give the stores your personal information, swipe your “loyalty card” at the cash register and savings will rain down upon you like manna from heaven.

Let’s not kid each other—we all knew that it was just another clever marketing scheme to get into our wallets. The promised upside was that the more the merchant knew about us, the better they could serve us.

What went wrong?

Our local grocer has kept a complete list of every tube of toothpaste, each Roma tomato and all the cold cereals I have bought since the mid 90s.

Faithfully, every quarter, they send me personalized coupons to entice me to buy more stuff at their store. At first glance it seems brilliant. Just ask my wife how much I like coupons.

Unfortunately, despite the terabyte of data they have in the cloud that’s devoted to my personal shopping habits, they rarely send me a coupon that I will use. Shouldn’t they know by now that I won’t buy Enfamil? After all, our youngest is 18. And no 55-cent coupon is going to change my dislike of Cheetos. How many bad ads will they keep sending?

An unholy alliance Individual company loyalty programs are small-time cons when compared to the massive data collection efforts being made on the World

The

Wide Web. Big brother is collecting big data on every click you make.

While I’m sure that nothing good will come from this in the long run, you’d at least like to think that all of this information about you would make these social media experts, ad-serving asses and mass misinformation news outlets give you ads that you’re inclined to respond to, but no! You and I are bombarded with more garbage advertising than ever, and while yesteryear’s junk mail may have consumed a few trees, today’s electronic onslaught consumes a far more precious resource: your time.

A new hope in old media As the publisher of the BEACON Senior Newspaper I can promise you that, unlike those annoying ads on the web, none of our ads in this paper will jump out and assault your senses. Because our ads are not virtually free, they will be limited to those merchants who have something important to say and value your attention. And unlike big brother, we keep no record of who you are or what you do with the information in this paper. I respect your privacy, but am always keen to meet our readers.

So the next time you see me out and about please stop and say, “hello.”

P.S. Also unlike our web competitors, we will never harangue you for money. However, if you value our service to you, please keep our wonderful advertisers in mind the next time you need their products or services. ■

Your guide to aging well in Mesa, Montrose & Delta Counties

Guide

Get your FREE copy! Call 243-8829

“One little act of kindness, whether holding someone's hand or just being with them in their final hours, has such power.” ~ Bonnie Ball

HopeWest Patient Support Volunteer

Make a difference, become a patient support volunteer.

Call (970)257-2378 today.

HopeWestCO.org

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4

COVER STORY

Looking to share your talents?

Need some ideas?

Everyone has a skill or talent that can benefit others in the community. Services are needed at all times of year and in any kind of weather—and you don’t have to provide just one. Time Bank of The Rockies has this list of ideas to get you started.

Home services • Housesitting • Pet sitting/dog walking • Companionship • Car wash/detailing • Meal preparation/baking • Home/auto repairs • Yard care • Housecleaning or organizing

Errands • Provide rides • Hauling • Shopping

Computer Services

• Manuscript typing • Editing/proofreading • Website maintenance • Technology setup/troubleshooting

Tutoring • Music instrument • Knitting, sewing, quilting, crafts • Foreign language

Personal Care • Hair services • Tax return help • Legal assistance More ideas at www.timebankof therockies.com/resources/lookingfor-ideas

www.BeaconSeniorNews.com

JANUARY 2017

Borrowed time: Time Bank of the Rockies

creates a helpful community

By Joyce Corley

What is time banking?

f you are like me, you face the ongoing challenge of getting everything that needs to be done completed in a timely manner. “Timely” is the operative word here—it seems there just isn’t enough of it! And there’s not always sufficient money to pay someone else to do it. That’s where the Time Bank of the Rockies (TBR) comes in.

The whole concept of time banking was new to me. I expected to learn about a new, sophisticated bartering system. But a couple of hours with Cynthia Harwood, executive director of Time Bank of the Rockies, enlightened me. TBR’s mission is to promote equality and build caring, resilient community economies through inclusive exchanges of time and talents. It’s about people helping other people in a system where everyone’s skills are equally valued and where everyone benefits.

The idea is that every individual has unique resources, skills and talents to share, and we can all enjoy exchanging these for the services or goods of others.

The types of services an individual can provide are only limited by the imagination. They can include animal care, arts and crafts, computer assistance, construction, editing, home repair, elder

I

care and companionship, running errands and grocery shopping. Harwood has many stories of individuals who have offered up transportation, health and fitness assistance, and organizational and housekeeping skills.

Others offer music lessons, physical therapy, massage or weeding.

Members are given access to a website, where they can list the skills and talents they are willing to share. In addition, they may post the services they would like to receive.

Every hour given is recorded in 15-minute increments and entered into a database that maintains the hours banked. An hour of everyone’s time is worth an equal amount of reciprocated service, regardless of the task they have performed. Participants exchange these banked hours for another person’s services—not necessarily those of the person they helped. The result is a community fulfilling each other’s needs through an exchange of the skills they enjoy performing.

Unlike typical bartering, time banking is not taxable and does not have to be declared to the IRS.

Volunteers can provide an unlimited number of services and the types of services they share with others are only limited by the imagination.

JANUARY 2017

COVER STORY

www.BeaconSeniorNews.com

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National & Regional Award-Winning Publication Publisher ..............................Kevin K. VanGundy Founding Publisher....................... Susan Capps Editor............................................. Cloie Sandlin Editorial Assistant................ Stephanie Summar Creative Director........................Melissa Trottier Graphic Design.............................. Karen Jones Digital Media Manager............. Paige Slaughter Account Representative................... Sue Bowen Account Representative................ Sidney Jayne Office/Sales Assistant..................Stacey Splude Proofreader...................................... Jan Weeks Delivery...........................................Cora Gentry Delivery ................................. Lauren VanGundy

How it can help TBR is a wonderful program for seniors, who benefit from services provided by skilled and able participants. These can include maintenance, repair and safety features, as well as other services that enable them to age comfortably at home. In addition to maintenance and repairs, services can include picking up books at the library, gathering mail, teaching computer skills or providing transportation. In some cases, other members are able to perform these tasks on a mutually agreed-upon, regularly scheduled basis.

Seniors themselves can offer a variety of skills and services in return, such as pet sitting or animal care.

A worldwide movement Time Bank of the Rockies has been in Montrose for more than four years.

There are currently 206 members in the program, ranging in age from 8 to 93. The most commonly offered services are handyman, gardening, and computer and technology skills.

TBR’s service area includes Montrose, San Miguel, Ouray and Delta counties, but the concept of time banking reaches beyond that. Worldwide in scope, it’s growing quickly.

There are many independent Time Banks in the United States, and they exist in more than 32 other countries.

More than 640 time banks, including TBR, use a software called Time

Delivery...............................................JR Milner

and Talents to track hours. Members and administrators can monitor and manage both their hours given, as well as the hours they have received.

Strong leadership and community support Utilizing her master’s degree in guidance and counseling, Harwood helps members of TBR identify their needs, as well as their skills and talents.

TBR is also led by a seven-member board of directors and is supported by community partners, including

the City of Montrose, Region 10, Volunteers of America, The Colorado Trust, Live Well, Uncompahgre Valley Association, the Montrose Farmers Market and more.

Thanks to widespread community support and active members with a range of abilities, Time Bank of the Rockies is filling an important niche in the community.

It’s a great way to build community and have your needs met without spending any money, Harwood said. ■

P.O. Box 3895, Grand Junction, CO 81502 ph: 970.243.8829 fax: 800.536.7516 Website: www.BeaconSeniorNews.com E-mail: Beacon@PendantPublishing.com The BEACON is published at the beginning of the month. Our goal is to inform and inspire the 50+ community in Mesa, Delta and Montrose counties.

Publication of advertising does not necessarily constitute endorsement. Columns are opinions of the writers, not necessarily the opinion of the publisher. Display advertising rates are available upon request. Deadline for advertising and announcements is the 20th of the month preceding publication. © Copyright 2017 • All Rights Reserved

Get involved with Time Bank of the Rockies Why not learn more about this opportunity to enhance and enrich your life?

Each month, TBR hosts an orientation meeting for new members. The next meeting is at 5:30 p.m. on January 17, at Region 10, 300 N. Cascade Ave. in Montrose.

Membership applications are available online at www.timebankoftherockies. com. Applicants are required to submit two references along with their application. Annual membership costs are $30 per individual, $35 per couple, $50 per family, $25 per senior (age 60 or older) and $35 per senior couple. In some cases, individuals are able to pay for their membership with a time donation.

To learn more about Time Bank of the Rockies, visit www.timebankof therockies.com, or call Harwood at 209-6886.

Cover Photo: Time Bank of the Rockies encourages a healthy community by promoting the exchange of services among area residents who give their time and talents to fulfill each other’s needs.

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FEATURE STORY

www.BeaconSeniorNews.com

Weatherization help for a warm place to call home

By Amanda Arnold

T

he holidays are behind us and we are knee-deep in winter. We still have several months of cold ahead of us, so it’s not too late to winterize your home. Weatherization helps homeowners and renters by saving them money, improving home comfort, increasing the home value and helping protect the environment.

The cold can be especially troublesome if a furnace goes out in the middle of the night when there is no help available. If your house is not insulated properly, it will get cold very quickly if the furnace fails. The cold also presents financial challenges—keeping a poorly insulated house warm can result in high energy costs.

Thankfully, there are resources that can help.

Colorado’s Low-income Energy As-

sistance Program (LEAP) is taking applications until April 30 for assistance with heating costs. Housing Resources of Western Colorado (HRWC), in partnership with the Colorado Energy Office, will visit your home to assess its weatherization needs.

LEAP into energy savings LEAP is a 100-percent federally funded program administered by the Discover Goodwill of southern and western Colorado. The program gives heating bill assistance based on income. Applicants must be responsible for heating costs through an energy provider, fuel dealer or in their rental agreement.

“Last year, nearly 98,000 Coloradans applied for LEAP, receiving an average benefit of nearly $389 per household,” LEAP Manager Aggie Berens said. “We want to make sure that all eligible Coloradans are aware of LEAP’s assistance so they can receive some help with heating costs this winter.”

An expert home assessment

Before winterization

After winterization

HRWC’s inspection includes a complete energy audit that computes and analyzes the efficiency of the home.

Scott Layton, HRWC’s part-time deputy director at its main office in Grand Junction, explained that staff members will help install insulation in ceilings, walls and crawl spaces. They also replace windows with storm windows, install water-saving devices and replace appliances and furnaces.

“It’s a complete and substantial list,” Layton

said. “It’s a very impressive program for those who qualify.”

Layton said insulation is the first line of defense when it comes to winterization and energy savings. It’s important to seal cracks and cover the evaporative cooler vent. He also suggested lowering the thermostat and keeping a day and night temperature.

According to Resource Development/Marketing Director Marisa Felix-Campbell, depending on the size of the family and individual’s home, the benefits of the program can almost be seen immediately.

Many clients report feeling immediately cooler or warmer in their home, depending on the time of year, and they begin to see a savings on their energy bill. On average, a weatherization client may save up to $410 a year. The program not only saves clients money, but also improves comfort and value of the home while protecting the environment.

HRWC’s Montrose team, housed at 460 N. Townsend Ave., works with

JANUARY 2017

local businesses, contactors, and the city and county to ensure the greatest efficiency and revitalization for projects throughout Delta, Montrose, Gunnison, Ouray, San Miguel and Hinsdale counties.

Every homeowner should be aware of weatherization, Layton said, even if not participating in the LEAP or HRWC programs. Program eligibility is based on income, but families or individuals who are already receiving assistance from LEAP and other programs listed below automatically qualify for the weatherization program.

• Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF) • Aid to the Needy and Disabled (AND) • Old Age Pension (OAP) • Supplemental Security Income (SSI) • Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP) • Social Security Disability Insurance (SSDI) ■

Even those who are not on LEAP can apply for weatherization assistance. Renters can also apply with permission from the landlord.

Weatherization services provided by Housing Resources of Western Colorado include: • Energy audit • Insulation in attics and walls • Furnace replacement • Furnace safety testing • Refrigerator replacement • Sealing air leaks • Compact fluorescent light bulbs (CFL) • Storm windows • Energy conservation information In order to apply for LEAP, applications must be mailed in to: P.O. Box 39200, Colorado Springs, CO 80949.

Applications may also be faxed to 719-633-9098.

HRWC is also expanding its self-help housing program, having recently purchased nine lots in Montrose. Those interested in learning more about Housing Resources of Western Colorado and their services should visit www.hrwco.org or call 241-2871.

JANUARY 2017

7

www.BeaconSeniorNews.com

BEACON Senior Newspaper wins national awards

By Cloie Sandlin

C

hristmas comes early every year for the BEACON staff when our publisher, Kevin VanGundy, returns from the annual North American Mature Publishers Association (NAMPA) convention.

This year’s convention took place in Denver. Aside from seeing the sights with other senior publishers from across the country, a highlight of the convention is the awards banquet, where senior publications big and small vie for top honors in a variety of categories. Publications are independently judged on the quality of their written content, editing, design, photography, web content and more by the prestigious Missouri School of Journalism. The best are then commended for their efforts with awards.

This year, your BEACON Senior Newspaper and its staff were nominated in the following categories:

General Excellence

• “Moments make the journey: Jane Johnson summits Kilimanjaro” by Melanie Wiseman (October 2015) • “Mother and daughter build bonds hiking Colorado Trail” by Melanie Wiseman (January 2016) • “Peru: Expect the unexpected” by Melanie Wiseman (March 2016) • “The question of golf” by Dan Ryan (May 2016)

• Senior Summer Traveler & Festivals (June 2016) • Winter Health & Wellness (January 2016)

Best Ad/Self-promotion (in house) • “50,000 BEACON fans can’t be wrong.” Design by Melissa Trottier.

Website General Excellence

• “Talking Digital” by Adam Cochran

• BEACON Senior Newspaper, Colorado

• “Sturgis or Bust” by Jan Weeks (October 2015) • “The Kennedy Detail: Korea vet and former USSS agent recounts moments surrounding JFK’s death”

by Melanie Wiseman (November 2015) • “A positive outlook makes a world of difference” by Carrie Kellerby (May 2016) • “Life was cheap there” by Kevin VanGundy (November 2015)

Feature Writing • “It’s a dog’s life: an interview with Molly the Dog and her favorite human” by Jan Weeks (August 2015)

2nd Place: “Talking Digital”

by Adam Cochran

1st Place: “Picture perfect: 12 tips for better photos” by Melanie Wiseman (July 2015)

Special Section

Column Review

Profile

How-to Feature

• “Final flight: B-17 pilot makes one last run” (November 2015). Photo

by Melissa Trottier.

• “Winter Health & Wellness” (January 2016). Photo by Melanie Wiseman.

Annual Senior Resource Guide

• “Picture perfect: 12 tips for better photos” by Melanie Wiseman (July 2015)

Column Review

Front Cover Photo

• BEACON Senior Newspaper, Colorado

How-to Feature

AND THE WINNERS ARE…

• 2016 BEACON Guide

Congratulations to you all!

Putting together a BEACON isn’t easy. It takes novel ideas, creative design and photography, careful editing, intriguing and well-written stories, supportive advertisers, and a dedicated staff.

I believe that the number and quality of the local articles we publish in the BEACON make us stand out at such competitions. Many of our award-winning stories about local people and local issues might never have been written if it weren’t for our wonderful, local writers. Thank you!

But above all, the BEACON would not be where it is today if it weren’t for you, our readers. As always, thank you for reading the BEACON. ■

Special Section 2nd Place: “Summer Travel & Festivals” (June 2016) 3rd Place: “Winter Health & Wellness” (January 2016)

Annual Senior Resource Guide or Directory 1st Place: “The BEACON Guide 2016” FREE – Your guide to aging

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Best Ad/Self-promotion (in house) 2nd Place: “50,000 BEACON fans can’t be wrong.”

Design by Melissa Trottier.

50,000

BEACON fans can’t be wrong!

In print, in person or online–the BEACON is the voice of over 50,000 boomers and seniors in Western Colorado.

Monthly Publications

Mesa County & Montrose-Delta Counties Issues

National & Regional Award-Winning Publication

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JANUARY 2017

Your guide to aging well in Montrose & Delta Counties e d i Gu

Your guide to aging well in Mesa, Montrose & Delta Counties

The

Would you like additional copies of the 2017 BEACON Guide to give away?

• A comprehensive directory of resources organizations and businesses for the over-50 crowd.

• No fluff! No filler! Just the information you need in easy-to-find categories.

• Now available on the web at...www.BeaconSeniorNews.com

❒ YES! 

Please deliver ❒ 25 ❒ 50 ❒ 75 Other_____ copies of the 2017 BEACON Guide to: COMPANY: ________________________________________________ CONTACT NAME: ___________________________________________ DELIVERY ADDRESS: ________________________________________ PHONE: __________________________________________________ EMAIL:___________________________________________________

❒ Mesa County edition ❒ Montrose & Delta edition Fax: 1-800-536-7516

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Email: Beacon@pendantpublishing.com

or •

Call: 970-243-8829

By Cloie Sandlin

S

tart the new year off right with the 2017 BEACON Guide, our annual guide to aging well in Montrose and Delta Counties, which you should find somewhere inside this January issue.

The BEACON Guide, a trusted resource directory for area seniors, their families and those who assist them, has only gotten bigger and better. In addition to over 600 listings of local, state and national resources and hard-to-find phone numbers, it also features informative editorial content to help you with the transitions in aging that you or a loved one may be going through.

From finding leisure activities to planning your retirement, and from home health care to moving to an assisted living facility, The BEACON Guide will help you navigate the continuum of care that we go through as we age. The guide also includes listings for clubs, genealogy resources, pet shelters, support groups, volunteer opportunities and more.

As our community grows, so does the guide. Many listings are added each year. We’ve taken great care to make sure that every listing is accurate and up to date, as every listed phone number is called and personally verified year after year.

Though geared for seniors, many households keep The BEACON Guide on hand throughout the year.

Got technology?

For even more convenience our website, www.BeaconSeniorNews.

com, hosts a virtual format of The BEACON Guide for seniors and their family members who live outside of the area. It’s senior friendly and can be turned page by page with a click of the mouse. You can search for keywords, zoom in and out, and click on an advertiser’s weblink to be automatically directed to its website.

Get your free copies If your copy isn’t in this issue of the BEACON, or if you’d like to request additional copies, call us at 970-243-8829 and we will mail them to you. Our Mesa County edition is also available by calling the number above.

We widely distribute editions of The BEACON Guide in Mesa, Delta and Montrose counties. It can also be found at numerous doctors’ offices, senior centers, hospitals and more. Businesses are able to call and request them in bulk and we will deliver them personally. ■

JANUARY 2017

ASK THE OLD BAG

www.BeaconSeniorNews.com

ASK THE OLD BAG

join the magic

Magic Circle Players Presents

MOONLIGHT &

Advice Column for the Over 50 Crowd

Magnolias

By Gayle Lagman-Creswick Dear Old Bag: I want to know if you think it is possible for two people to fall in love online. I have been interacting with a fellow for months. We developed a good friendship and then things gradually changed to romance. He lives in another state and wants us to meet.

I have not told my kids about this (they are all married). First of all, do you think it’s possible to fall in love this way? Second, if you do think it’s possible, what do I do now? Signed, In a Dither Dear Dither: If you had asked me a month ago, I would have been skeptical. However, recently my best lifetime friend fell in love online. She just went to meet him and his family in his city. They are in love! Anything is possible. What should you do? I say invite him to your city with your family present, if he is willing and your kids are supportive. That is the safe thing to do. I have an acquaintance who met a man online. When he came to see her, the magic was gone. So don’t set your expectations too high, be safe and good luck. OB Dear Old Bag: My wife and I are 66, both retired and also tired of keeping up this big house and yard. We would like to be freed up to travel and to learn new things that we didn’t have time for when we were young and employed.

We have chosen an independent, active retirement community with all levels of care in the eventuality that one or both of us may need it. We told the kids this weekend, and they hit the roof. In fact, they were shocked that we were thinking of this. What do we do now?

Signed, LC Dear LC: I think your kids were shocked for several reasons. They think of retirement communities as “end of the line,” because most have never visited one. If they could see

they are like fine resorts, they would change their minds. Another reason is that our kids don’t see us aging, so they are likely surprised that you would do such a thing. Another reason is that kids do not like to say goodbye to the family home. They can’t imagine family gatherings in a retirement community. I suggest you take them all on a tour of the place you have chosen. I think they will get used to the idea. If they balk at the idea, ask them which one of them is willing to take you in when you need care. I always advocate for parents to do their own thing if they cannot bring the kids around. By the way, I like your thinking. And it’s true, you will be free for traveling and taking up new hobbies and securing your future. OB Dear Old Bag: My father is in a nursing home. He was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease in his late 50s. Two years ago he stopped eating and we approved putting in a feeding tube. He is now in a vegetative state, but he is getting such good care and nutrition, I can see this going on indefinitely.

What do we do now? Signed, Regretful Son Dear Son: Hindsight is 20/20. I am not going to ask you what you were thinking when you approved the feeding tube. I am sure you felt it was the kind thing to do. That would have been the time to put him in hospice. And where was his living will? Mine states clearly that if I am in a vegetative state I do not want a feeding tube or any other means to extend my life. It is a lesson for all.

Get your wishes made legal. Get this poor man in hospice care. My prayers are with you. OB ■

Send your questions to the Old Bag in care of the BEACON, or email lagmancreswick@cox.net

by Sumner Arthur Long

by Ron Hutchinson

Evening - 7:30 PM Friday, January 13,Performances 20 & 27 at 7:30pm

Saturday,

September 9, 10, 16, 17, 23 & 24 Sunday Matinées - 27:30pm PM January 14, 21 & 28 at September 11 & 18

Sunday Matinées January 15 & 22 at 2pm 420 South 12th Street | Montrose, CO | 970-249-7838

Tickets Available Online Friday, December 30 MagicCirclePlayers.com

420 South 12th Street | Montrose, CO | 970-249-7838 Moonlight and Magnolias is presented by special arrangement with Dramatists Play Service, Inc., New York

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10

LAUGHING MATTERS

www.BeaconSeniorNews.com

LAUGHING MATTERS An affair to remember Submitted by Larry Church

Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside.

He looked up and said weakly, “I have something I must confess.”

“There’s no need,” his wife replied.

“No,” he insisted. “I want to die in peace. I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend and your mother!”

“I know,” she replied. “Now just rest and let the poison work.”

An invaluable lesson Submitted by Don Forsman

First-year veterinary school students were receiving their first anatomy class.

They all gathered around a surgery table with the body of a dead cow covered by a white sheet.

The professor started the class by telling them, “As a veterinarian, it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor: The first is that you must not be disgusted by anything involving the animal body.”

The professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the cow’s butt, then withdrew it and stuck his finger in his mouth.

“Now you do the same thing,” he told his students.

The students hesitated, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead cow and sucking on it.

When everyone finished, the professor said, “The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention.

Life’s tough, but it’s even tougher if you’re stupid.”

Blondes at work Submitted by Janette Kowalski

Two blonde girls were working for the city public works department.

One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind her and fill the hole in. They worked up one side of the street, then down the other. Then they moved on to the next street, working furiously all day without rest, one girl digging a hole, the other girl filling it in again.

An onlooker asked the hole digger, “I’m impressed by the effort you two are putting into your work, but I don’t get it. Why dig a hole, only to have your partner fill it up again?”

The hole digger wiped her brow and sighed, “Well, I suppose it probably looks odd because we’re normally a three-person team. But today the girl who plants the trees called in sick.”

JANUARY 2017

A church noise Submitted by Rick Manchester

An elderly couple is attending a church service. About halfway through, the woman writes a note and hands it to her husband. It says, “I just let out a silent fart, what do you think I should do?” He scribbles back, “Put a new battery in your hearing aid.”

Exercise for people over 50 Submitted by Gary Palmer

Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side. With a five-pound potato bag in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can. Try to do that for a full minute and then relax.

Each day you’ll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer. After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-pound potato bags. Then try 50-pound potato bags, and then eventually try to lift a 100-pound potato bag in each hand

JANUARY 2017

LAUGHING MATTERS 11

www.BeaconSeniorNews.com

and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute.

The farmer said, “Okay, but don’t go in that field over there.”

After you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each bag.

The sheriff verbally exploded, saying, “Mister, I have the authority of the sheriff’s department with me!”

Doing great Submitted by Travis Palo

Morris, an 82-year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking happily down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.

The doctor said to Morris, “You’re really doing great, aren’t you?”

Morris replied, “Just doing what you said, Doc: ‘Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.’”

The doctor said, “I didn’t say that. I said, ‘You’ve got a heart murmur; be careful.’”

Driving Submitted by Lori Palma

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his cell phone rang.

Removing his badge from his pocket, the officer proudly displayed it to the farmer.

“See this badge? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish on any land. No questions asked or answers given. Have I made myself clear?

Do you understand?”

The farmer nodded politely and went about his chores. Soon, he heard loud screaming and spotted the sheriff running for his life, the farmer’s bull hot on his heels. Clearly terrified, the sheriff kept running and with every step, the bull gained on him.

The old farmer threw down his tools, ran to the fence and yelled at the top of his lungs, “Your badge! Show him your badge!”

Answering, he heard his wife’s voice urgently warning him, “Herman, I just heard on the news that there’s a car going the wrong way on I-70. Please be careful!”

Winning the lottery

“Hell,” said Herman. “It’s not just one car. It’s hundreds of them!”

She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, “Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!”

Respect the badge

Submitted by Perry Tucker

A woman came home in a rush, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house.

A sheriff stopped at a ranch and talked with the old farmer.

“Oh my God!” said her husband.

“What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?”

“I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs,” he said.

“Doesn’t matter,” she said. “Just get out.” ■

Submitted by Gail Trujillo

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Living history in

Beach near Matanzas

Clara that reads Hotel sign in Santa llet You can still see bu “Thank you, Fidel.” lution in 1958. holes from the revo

Flower cart on Camagüey street

JANUAR

Story and photos by Melanie Wiseman

O

ur plane landed in Cuba the day after Fidel Castro died.

My husband, Dan, and I joined 16 other travelers from around the U.S. on the short, 45-minute flight from Miami. We left behind thousands of people celebrating in the streets of Little Havana and arrived in a country observing nine days of mourning. Our living history journey had begun.

Our guide, Yanet Baute Montero, welcomed us at eastern Cuba’s Camagüey

CUBA

Airport, assuring us that despite “the situation,” our experience would be filled with countless memorable interactions with the Cuban people.

While we anticipated that living through this historic moment would be the highlight of our Cuban adventure, it actually took a backseat to our experiences with the Cuban people, who stole our hearts and opened our eyes.

It’s complicated...or is it?

The U.S. Department of the Treasury still regulates travel to Cuba.

One of the authorized ways for U.S. citizens to travel to the country is via “people-to-people cultural exchanges.” These tours open communication and generate positive relations between the two countries.

“Cuba is complicated,” said Montero. “I will answer any questions you have, but it will always come with a lengthy explanation.”

Throughout our travels, “It’s complicated” was a frequent joke among the group.

Some things certainly were complicated, but the freedom we enjoyed there wasn’t. We Bicitaxi tour of Camagüey were able to talk to Cubans

at leisure and uncensored, and explore cities day or night on our own. Due to the U.S. embargo, I anticipated the Cuban people being apprehensive over visits by U.S. tourists. Nothing could have been farther from the truth. They were very welcoming and accommodating.

Feelings about Fidel Castro’s passing offered us a unique opportunity to hear firsthand the varied views Cubans had of him.

Montero compared him to a complicated father figure.

“Fathers do good and bad things, but you still love them,” she said.

As one young man I spoke with said, many Cubans had never known anything but life under Castro’s rule. Like Montero, the people I spoke with had mixed emotions about the man.

“I hope that someday, sooner than later, I will be able to do what I want to do and not what someone tells me to do,” said a man named Sandoval, 53.

After 60-year-old Sibario watched the funeral procession carrying Castro’s ashes, he put his hand over his heart.

“We watched glory pass by into eternity,” he said emotionally.

No one forgot Castro’s positive contributions.

“He freed the Cuban people from the dictator Batista,” Montero said. “After the revolution, Fidel’s first priority was land redistribution, followed by education, health care and road development.

He also gave huge support to music, dance and theatre.”

Exploring Cuba In Camagüey, we navigated labyrinths of narrow streets via whimsically

RY 2017

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Touring Havana in a 1958 Dodge convertible painted bicycle taxis. We visited with talented local artists displaying amazing works of bronze, leather, wood and ceramics. At the renowned, historic Conservatorio de Música José White, students performed for us on their chosen instruments.

We also learned about the rich Spanish and African heritage of the Cuban people.

Country roads took us past miles of sugar cane before we were escorted to King Ranch by horsemen, who carried the U.S. and Cuban flags side by side.

The quaint town of Remedios was a group favorite. Centered around a large square park, we visited with a group of elderly men who congregated daily, referring to themselves as the “local philosophy club.”

Everywhere we looked there were children in crisp school uniforms, often holding the hand of a grandparent.

Homes are generally multi-generational and traditions are passed down.

Santa Clara, the liberation of which ended the Batista regime, was a hub of activity following Castro’s funeral procession.

In Caibarién, tobacco factory workers showed pride in their work—rolling cigars in Cuba is considered a highly skilled trade and art.

A personal highlight for me was visiting the Finca Luna family farm in Matanzas. I spoke at length with the owner’s son-in-law, Jorge, who taught himself English. He was thrilled to share the notebook he used to study.

Matanzas also led us to Palmar de Junco, built in 1874, the oldest baseball diamond in the western hemisphere.

Hotel Camino Del Principe in Remedios After a talk from a former professional player about Cubans’ love for the sport, our group took to the field to play some baseball ourselves.

The following day we spent hours on one of Cuba’s gorgeous beaches, swimming in the refreshing, turquoise ocean.

When we finally arrived in Havana, the sound of music was in the air once again—the mourning period for Castro was over.

We enjoyed a breathtaking performance by the Malpaso Dance Company, several walks through Old Havana, Revolution Plaza, jazz and traditional Cuban bands, the lively Coro Vocal Luna (the only all-female Cuban choir) and Club Melen, where we joined locals for spirited games of dominoes, their “second national sport.”

Walking through Havana is like stepping back in time. There are old cars in a rainbow of colors everywhere, dating from 1927 to 1961.

Seeing the sights from the back of a bright red 1958 Ford convertible was pure heaven.

We marveled at the locals’ ability to keep these cars running.

“We are innovative people,” said one car owner with a smile. “When you don’t have access to all imports, you have to improvise. We may use parts from a broken TV or blender to fix our car.”

Cubans greet each other with a kiss on the cheek and take pride in being a culture without racism. Wherever our journey took us, they were friendly and full of good humor.

Havana artist Rogue Rodriguez

“If you have two Cubans, you have five opinions!” they joked.

What the future holds Castro’s death is unlikely to change Cuban society immediately. “‘Communism’ is not a word you will hear in Cuba today,” Montero said. “It’s ‘socialism’ and we are always learning how to do better. We know our model is not perfect.”

Cuban economist Jorge Egozcue said that change will be complicated, as Cubans have been used to a government that takes care of them for more than five decades.

With just 90 miles separating the U.S. from Cuba (the distance from Grand Junction to Glenwood Springs), we are definitely neighbors.

The Cuban people are thrilled with President Obama’s outreach and simultaneously anxious to see how the new U.S. presidential administration will affect them.

“In the end, we have more in common than you would think,” said Egozcue. “There is no rationale to be enemies. We are neighbors.”

We returned with a love for the Cuban people, and continue to pray that they have a chance to play a role in their own future.

Our journey came full circle as a taxi brought us home from the airport. The young cab driver asked where we had been, and I told her that we arrived in Cuba the day after Fidel Castro died.

She paused and said, “Who was he?”

Well, it’s complicated. ■

Two best friends in Remedios

Anna, a Santeria religion practitioner in Matanzas

14

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JANUARY 2017

Letting go of clutter, letting go of pain

And holding on to what really matters

By Jan Weeks

L Montrose United Methodist Church 19 S. Park Ave., Montrose, CO

970-249-3716 • montroseumc.org

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Mail form with check to: The BEACON, P.O. Box 3895, Grand Junction, CO 81502

ast fall, I spent weeks getting my house and yard ready for winter.

Since early June my to-do list had grown exponentially as more tasks came to my attention. I meant to whittle it down during July and August, but summer invites procrastination. Why waste cool mornings and golden evenings clearing clutter?

But there’s always a price to be paid. Nature abhors a vacuum, so life overflows with things, events and people. Photos, gifts, souvenirs and chaos accumulate. Everyone seems to want a piece of our time.

Where did our desire to accumulate come from? Some ancient gene from a time when survival depended on food and furs we stockpiled to last through the cold months? Or from the houses that used to come equipped with an attic and basement just begging to be filled with Christmas decorations, broken toys and outgrown clothes?

Those spaces became obsolete after World War II, when returning GIs and their families wanted something more modern. Off-site storage units now hold all the things that used to stay home, and a lot of those things never see the light of day again. Thus we have TV programs like “Storage Wars” and “Auction Hunters.” Often the cost of storing possessions for years exceeds the cost of the items themselves.

My husband, Rocky, a child of the Great Depression, died just over four years ago. Born without a left forearm, he made a career as a jazz pianist, hanging out with Bill Basie, playing with Bob Hope’s USO troupe overseas, jamming with Jay McShann and starring at clubs around the country. He hated to give up anything he’d accumulated, whether

he’d paid for it or someone special had gifted him with it. Trying to get him to part with a threadbare bedspread that a buddy had given him 40 years earlier was like trying to get him to part with his firstborn.

When the pain of losing him dulled, I gave away clothes, old furniture and pictures of his first wife’s grandparents. Still I kept much more than I disposed of, needing to hang on to him. As time passed, I cleaned a closet here, a cupboard there, purging out-of-date paperwork and mismatched silverware, whittling down duplicate tools, tossing used engine gaskets he’d saved “just in case.” I barely made a dent in what he’d accumulated over a long, full life.

Guilt, nostalgia and plain old exhaustion keep us hanging onto the tea set a child won at a carnival booth in 1953, the 1962 Kentucky Derby program, bank statements from institutions long gone and ancient power saws that can’t be repaired. How can we get rid of Aunt Martha’s ugly china we inherited? Or the thousands of pictures that recorded our children’s birthday parties and school plays—in duplicate? Will the IRS track us down if we shred 20-year-old bank statements?

Yet too much stuff wears us out.

Disorder is the bane of clear thinking. Constantly moving things from place to place without making progress drains precious mental and emotional energy.

How do you know when it’s time to finally take action? When you can’t find one more surface to pile things on. When you buy duplicates of things you know you have because you can’t find what you bought last year. When you can’t remember why you purchased that dress that makes you look like an overripe cucumber or that bright pink lipstick that turns

JANUARY 2017

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Fake it ’til you make it

By Barbara Ward

W

The photo that Jan kept of Rocky, right, living it up with Count Basie, left. you into an anemic clown. When every nook and cranny overflows. And when you’re ready to move on.

Life is based on the law of circulation. If you want to change your life, clean out your closets. When anything—water or life—stagnates, it stops moving, changing and growing.

It begins to smell bad, literally and figuratively.

After almost four years, Rocky still lived in my memory but his things were overwhelming me. I didn’t want to forget him, but I didn’t want to stay stuck in a dead relationship.

So I cleaned out the shed, stuffed with things that hadn’t seen the light of day in more than 30 years—things I didn’t recognize, broken furniture, half-used quarts of oil that wouldn’t work in any mower or vehicle, rusted hoes and old spark plugs. Then I tackled his workbench in the garage.

Five hours later I had organized the tools and filled a box for Habitat for Humanity, as well as several boxes destined for the dump.

Next I went after the armoire,

which had become a repository for everything I was too tired to deal with. I sorted and pitched hundreds of cassette tapes, DVDs, pictures in nice frames, dress patterns (mine, not Rocky’s!) and more. After all, who needs four automatic card shufflers? Or condolence cards left from his first wife’s passing?

I kept a color 8-by-10 photo of Rocky and Count Basie living it up. I organized the music and movies we both loved, but gave away the oneand-done DVDs. I’ve kept our most precious things, the intangibles—the memories of grilling on the deck and playing dominoes at the picnic table; our musical evenings sitting at the piano, him playing and singing and me harmonizing; camping with our great-nephew and playing endless games of Uncle Wiggily; road trips to California, Kansas, Wisconsin and Montana.

Memories come clearly, easily and take up no space except where it really matters: in the heart. ■

e have all heard the phrase, “Fake it ‘til you make it.” Most of us have had moments when we needed to live by that phrase.

Deep within our souls lies an inner strength that we don’t always realize we have. Sooner or later, a time may come when you didn’t know what you could do until you had to do it. Many people have found strength where they thought there was none. The persons who move towards their greatest fears find true courage.

The challenge when we feel weak or ill equipped is to look beyond closed doors like great achievers do. Achievers think in terms of “I can” rather than “I can’t.” When faced with a daunting task, we can perceive it as an obstacle or an opportunity.

We can think of 100 excuses why we can’t do something. It’s always

easier to let someone else do something we don’t want to or think we can’t do.

In Exodus 3, Moses used many excuses we’ve also been guilty of using. When Moses had the encounter with God and the burning bush, he had the proverbial excuse of “Who am I to do it?”

But God counteracted his excuses and didn’t let him out of the challenge of leading the Israelites out of Egypt. In essence, Moses was told, “Fake it ’til you make it and trust in me.”

Just as he did with Moses, God will help us find the strength to overcome life’s obstacles and will lead the way.

When faced with what seems like an impossible task, take a deep breath, and then step out in faith.

Perhaps you realize that you had the strength and direction to do it all along. Then look back and say, “I did it.” ■

Rosemont Baptist Church 1598 E Niagara Rd. Montrose, CO

FAMILY

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515 S. Hillcrest Dr. Montrose, CO 81401 970-249-4319

FUN & GAMES

www.BeaconSeniorNews.com

JANUARY 2017

For the puzzle answers see page 18

FUN & GAMES

16

Across 1 Cairo league 5 Letter on a frat house, perhaps 10 Kind of bag 14 Oak support 15 Punic Wars soldier 16 Dude ranch prop 17 Renders suspect 19 Protected, nautically 20 Tom and Dick, but no Harry 21 Fruity-smelling chemical compounds 23 Brontë’s Jane 24 Homesteader’s stake 25 Farm areas 27 Flourishes 30 Which cheek to turn?

31 Percussion instruments 32 Twisted Sister’s Snider 33 Commando’s mission 34 Cleaners’ concern 35 Copper piece 36 Building adjunct 37 They play “The Feud” 38 Suburban emporiums 39 Having a finger in every pie 41 Lariat 42 Appears 43 Columnist Barrett 44 Commuter’s computer

46 Certain relative 50 Perry’s creator 51 Western wagon 53 Drop of sorrow 54 Chomping at the bit 55 Wrigley climber 56 Verb for Simon 57 Generals’ pride 58 From scratch Down 1 Grade school basics 2 Gallivant 3 ___-ran 4 One-upped 5 Marching ___ 6 Boxing’s Archie 7 They won’t get off the ground 8 Some consider it a gift 9 Deer playmate?

10 Without charge 11 They’re often emulated 12 Copycat 13 Some are killer 18 Less vocal 22 Talk trash to 24 Bucks 25 Whale of ___ 26 Simple task 27 Word with up, down or about 28 Edison’s park 29 Movie locales

30 Neighbor of Provo 31 Mission start?

34 Sneaks a peek 35 Legendary lover 37 Nile figure 38 ____-depressive 40 Frightens away 41 Introverts 43 Received, at NASA 44 Rents 45 ___ 51 (secretive site) 46 “Roots,” e.g.

47 Placed down 48 Problem that breaks out?

49 Sigh of relief 52 Tit for ___

Crossword Puzzle

JANUARY 2017

MONTROSE/DELTA COUNTIES 17

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What is a long-term care ombudsman?

By Eva Veitch, Region 10

What can an ombudsman address?

nder the Older Americans Act, every state is required to have an ombudsman program that addresses complaints and advocates for improvements in the long-term care system. Region 10 Community Living Services manages the ombudsman program for Montrose, Delta and Gunnison counties. Whether through individual contact with residents or systemic advocacy, ombudsmen make a difference in the lives of residents in long-term care facilities every day.

• Violation of residents’ rights or dignity • Physical, verbal or mental abuse, deprivation of services necessary to maintain residents’ physical and mental health, or unreasonable confinement • Poor quality of care, including inadequate personal hygiene and slow response to requests for assistance • Improper transfer or discharge of patient • Inappropriate use of chemical or physical restraints • Any resident concern about quality of care or quality of life

U

A long-term care ombudsman • resolves complaints made by or for residents of long-term care facilities.

• educates consumers and long-term care providers about residents’ rights and good care practices.

• promotes community involvement through volunteer opportunities.

• provides information to the public about long-term care facilities and services, residents’ rights and legislative and policy issues.

• advocates for residents’ rights and quality care in personal care, residential care and other long-term care facilities.

• promotes the development of citizen organizations and councils.

Who can use an ombudsman’s services?

• Residents of any nursing home or board and care facility, including assisted living facilities • A family member or friend of a nursing home resident • A nursing home administrator or employee with a concern about a resident at their facility • Any individual or citizen’s group interested in the welfare of residents • Individuals/families who are considering long-term care placement For details, contact Lead Ombudsman Sandy Walker at 765-3131. ■

COLORADO LONG-TERM CARE OMBUDSMAN

Shining a Light on Residents' Rights Serving skilled nursing home and assisted living residents.

Resident advocacy, education, resolving issues, and providing information to improve the quality of life and care at area facilities.

300 N. Cascade Ave., Ste. 1 • Montrose, CO 81401 • Fax 970-249-2488

(970) 249-2436 • www.Region10.net

REGION 10 Education & Activities

Events will be held at Region 10, 300 N. Cascade Ave. in Montrose, unless stated otherwise. Registration is required, but all sessions are free.

Aging and Disability Resources for Colorado (ADRC) meetings ADRC meetings occur from 9:30-11 a.m. on the second Tuesday of every month at Region 10. RSVP to Amy Rowan at 765-3123 or email arowan@region10.net.

seminar presented by the attorneys of The Law Office of Brown & Brown, PC. Seminars take place at 4:30 p.m. in Delta and Montrose. Seminar is free but registration is required. Call 7653123 to register.

Estate planning seminars Learn about law changes that might affect you in 2017 in this free

• Delta - January 16 at Grand Mesa Oncology

• Montrose - January 9 at Region 10

January 17 Time Bank of the Rockies presentation For every hour you spend providing support to another Time Bank member you earn a time credit to be used to receive a service from another. Learn more at this presentation from 5:30-7 p.m. at Region 10. Bring your laptop. For details and to register, call 209-6886.

SUPPORT GROUPS • Kinship Connections Support Group meets monthly from 6-8 p.m. on the first Thursdays at Region 10. Call 765-3127.

• Caregiver Support & Networking Group meets on the first Wednesday and the third Thursday monthly from 1:30-2:30 p.m. at Region 10. Call 765-3123.

18

HEALTH & WELLNESS

www.BeaconSeniorNews.com

Effective treatment of hips including pre- and post-surgical conditions.

Gentle Relief • 18 YEARS AS AN ACTIVATOR METHODS CERTIFIED EXTREMITY SPECIALIST • 18 YEARS CERTIFIED SPINAL DECOMPRESSION SPECIALIST • CERTIFIED in COXTECHNIC DISC WORK

Dr. Bradley - Good News Chiropractic P.C.

970-252-8255

101 N. Uncompahgre • Montrose

JANUARY 2017

Get your hips checked before getting them replaced

By Jack Bradley, DC, Good News Chiropractic

I

f you suffer from hip pain, it may be due to misalignment of the hip, which can cause pressure on the joint and the nerves. Even the slightest misalignment can cause pain and affect the function of your hip, the gate of your walk and your balance.

So where exactly is your hip?

When you ask someone where their hip hurts, they might touch their sacroiliac joint, the top of their ilium or their gluteus maximus. However, when you ask them where their hip replacement would be (if they have one), they tend to touch the trochanter area, which attaches to the neck and head of the femur. You can feel the femur when you put your hand just below your belt line and just above your thigh to the outside of your behind. It’s down deep two to three inches from where you feel that boney area on the side of your hip.

The head of the femur can misalign in at least 15 different directions.

Wear and tear on the joint can result in a doctor prescribing a hip replacement—but often times chiropractic care can put hip replacements off indefinitely.

Malignancy and infection can also cause pain in the hips as well as any area of the body. Besides the misalignment of your hip, there can be several other causes for pain, which

all need to be checked by your local chiropractor, including piriformis syndrome, a neuromuscular disorder that is caused when the piriformis muscle compresses the sciatic nerve; tendonitis; arthritis bursitis; neuritis and bulging discs. Symptoms should be investigated by your chiropractic provider as soon as possible. ■

FUN & GAMES Game answers from page 16

JANUARY 2017

MONTROSE/DELTA COUNTIES 19

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Montrose/Delta Calendar JANUARY 4 Newcomers and Neighbors Enjoy coffee and a meeting to get acquainted with other newcomers and neighbors in the area. This free networking event is from 10-11 a.m. at the Montrose Regional Library, 320 S. Second St. Reservations not required.

JANUARY 6 Foodie Fridays Know the state and county laws, rules and regulations that govern the Colorado food industry at Region 10, 300 N. Cascade Ave. This event is on the first Friday of each month. Workshops are conducted by Montrose County’s Environmental Health Director Jim Austin and are free and open to the public.

JANUARY 7 Cross country ski clinic Did you get new cross-country skis over the holidays? Do you want to learn a new skill or start a winter fitness program? Learn the basics of cross-country skiing at Black Canyon of the Gunnison National Park. The class runs from 11 a.m.-1 p.m. and covers simple striding, gliding and traveling in variable terrain.

Meet at the South Rim Visitors Center with your own skis. Reservations are required. Call 249-1914, ext. 423.

JANUARY 8 Ouray at Night exhibit opening View the beauty of Ouray in a different light with this new exhibit at the Wright Opera House, 472 Main St. in Ouray. The exhibit features the incredible nighttime photography of an Ouray local from 3-5 p.m. opening day, and will be open for viewing thereafter at opera house events.

JANUARY 10 & 17 Talk and Tangle Yarn Work on your knit and crochet projects with others from 12:30-2 p.m. at the Delta County Library, 211 W. Sixth St. in Delta. Anyone is welcome to join. Call the Delta Library at 874-9630 for more information.

JANUARY 11 Full moon snowshoe walk Experience a moonlit winter night on snowshoes at Black Canyon of the Gunnison National Park. Meet at South Rim Visitor Center at 5:30 p.m. and allow 90 minutes for the program. Be prepared for cold weather; free snowshoes are available. Hot drinks will be available after the walk. Reservations are required. Call 249-1914, ext. 423.

Citizens’ Climate Lobby Meeting Do your part this new year for Mother Earth to mitigate climate change. Citizens’ Climate Lobby is a nonpartisan, national network to influence legislators to pay attention to climate change.

Monthly meetings are held from 6:30-8 p.m. behind Montrose City Hall in the Centennial Room, 143 S. First St. Events are free and open to the public. For more information, call 240-9146.

invited. For details, call 835-5228.

JANUARY 19 Montrose AARP Driver Safety course Crossroads Victory Fellowship Church, 515 Hillcrest Drive, will host the AARP Smart Driver program from 8:30 a.m.-1 p.m. Registration is $15 for AARP members and $20 for nonmembers. Preregistration is required. Call 252-9600.

JANUARY 20-21 Food and Farm Forum The fifth annual forum has a wide array of breakout sessions that convey vital, regionally specific agricultural information in the area, including maximum crop and livestock production, innova-

JANUARY 16 Delta AARP Driver Safety course Bill Heddles Recreation Center will host the AARP Smart Driver Program from 8 a.m.-12:30 p.m. Save money on car insurance and keep up to date on newer traffic laws. Registration is $15 for AARP members and $20 for nonmembers. Preregistration is required.

Call 399-3113.

JANUARY 18 Archaeological Society Speaker Local archaeologist and author Steven Baker will trace the 1765 Spanish expedition of Diego Rivera through Southwest Colorado in an illustrated talk on the route of this historic visit across Montrose and Delta counties.

Drawing from the translated journals of the expedition, he will present the highlights of the trip and Rivera’s observations on the archaeology of the area, as well as research into the location of Roubidoux’s 1828 trading post on the Gunnison River near present day Delta.

This free presentation is at 7 p.m. at Montrose United Methodist Church, 19 S. Park Ave. in Montrose. The public is

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tive agricultural marketing and management strategies, and specialty crops.

The forum takes place at the Montrose County Fairgrounds on January 20 and the Montrose Pavilion on January 21.

Rates are per workshop and forum. For more information and a schedule, visit www.foodfarmforum.org.

JANUARY 27 Community Recreation Center grand opening Join Montrose Recreation District for the Community Recreation Center grand opening! Light refreshments served at 5:30 p.m., followed by a dedication and speeches. The CRC will be open for free from 7-9 p.m. ■

20 MONTROSE/DELTA COUNTIES

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Montrose/Delta Beacon Bits

Club Activities Alpine Photography Club meets monthly from 7-9 p.m. on the second Tuesday at St. Mary Catholic Church, 1855 St. Mary’s Dr. in Montrose.

Black Canyon Camera Club meets monthly from 11 a.m. to noon, with a workship from noon to 1 p.m. on the second Tuesday at the First Church of God in Delta. Visit www.blackcanyoncameraclub.org or call 399-3674.

Black Canyon Classics Car Club meets monthly on the first Tuesday.

For meeting time and location, call 249-6051.

Delta Hubwheelers Square Dance Club hosts dances from 7-9 p.m. on January 7 and 21 in the Bill Heddles Recreation Center’s aerobics room.

Bring snacks for all to enjoy during intermission. New Delta square dance classes start February 1 on Wednesday and Thursday evenings. For more information, call 856-4187.

Montrose Amateur Radio Club meets monthly at 7 p.m. on the third Friday at the Olathe Community Center. Call 417-6142.

Montrose Pavilion Dance Club hosts dances at the Montrose Pavilion from 7:30 p.m.-11 p.m. on the second and fourth Saturdays of the month.

Enjoy great music, snacks and refreshments. Dancers of all ages are welcome. Please bring a snack to share. Cost is $5. Call 252-7172.

Montrose Women’s Club meets for monthly luncheons at noon on the third Monday, September through May. All Montrose area women are invited to attend. For location and more information, call Lexy Stevenson at 275-3336.

Western Slope 4 Wheelers meets monthly at 7 p.m. on the first Tuesdays at the Montrose Rod & Gun Club’s indoor range, 1211 6450 Road in Montrose. Call 275-0754.

JANUARY 2017

Montrose Memorial receives award for patient outcomes In partnership with the National Office of State Offices of Rural Health, iVantage Health Analytics has recognized Montrose Memorial Hospital for overall excellence in patient outcomes, reflecting top quartile performance among all rural acute care hospitals in the nation. The award is based on analytics from the iVantage Hospital Strength INDEX, a data-driven program designed to identify excellence across a broad spectrum of indicators relevant to hospital performance and patient care. iVantage’s analysis indicates the hospital offers exceptional patient outcomes when compared against all rural hospitals nationwide. The award marks a banner year for Montrose Memorial, which in months prior received high marks from other analyses, including being named a Four Star Hospital by the Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services, and receiving recognition from iVantage Health Analytics as one in the nation’s top 5 percent of rural hospitals in the country.

Alliance for veterans expands The Welcome Home Alliance for Veterans (WHAFV), formerly Welcome Home Montrose, began as a grassroots, community initiative to help medically discharged military veterans through its targeted programs and dedicated Warrior Resource Center. Five years since its establishment, the nonprofit WHAFV continues to be a groundbreaking resource center for local veterans, while expanding into an all-inclusive and comprehensive source of support for veterans and their families across western Colorado. The program has gone through several changes to reflect this expansion, including a new name, website and logo. Three additional board members were appointed in June. To learn more about the organization, visit www.WHAFV.org.

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Life’s Legacy in Stone

JANUARY 2017

MONTROSE/DELTA COUNTIES 21

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Snowshoe walks at Black Canyon of the Gunnison Enjoy snowshoe walks at Black Canyon of the Gunnison National Park on Wednesdays, Saturdays and Sundays, January 11 through March 4. Walkers meet at the South Rim Visitor Center and begin at 10 a.m. on Saturdays and 1 p.m. on Wednesdays and Sundays.

No special skill is needed to participate in these 1.5-mile, two-hour walks.

Snowshoes are available to use free of charge for these programs.

Reservations are required.

Call 249-1914, ext. 423.

Black Canyon Barbershop Chorus seeks singers Bringing cheer to local residents is one of the programs that the Black Canyon Barbershop Chorus offers communities throughout Delta and Montrose counties. In preparation for their annual show in May, the chorus is seeking male singers who want to have fun and participate, as well as a new chorus director. The chorus practices at 7 p.m. on Thursday evenings at the Olathe Methodist Church. For more information, call John at 216-3800.

Support a veteran— We’ve got your six Welcome Home Alliance for Veterans has a great opportunity for you to pledge your support to our military veterans on a local level. Join “We’ve got your six” (military talk for “We’ve got your back”) and pledge to support a veteran for only $6 per month. Your monthly contribution ensures that all of WHAFV’s services continue to be available at no charge, continuing to empower them to find their American Dream and thrive in the life they choose. Our veterans have served on our behalf and now is our opportunity to have their back. For more information, visit www.whafv.org/pledge-drive/ or call 765-2210.

Play bingo at the Elks Lodge Ready for some good, clean fun? Play bingo at 6:30 p.m. Tuesdays at the Montrose Elks Lodge, 801 S. Hillcrest.

Cost is $10 for an 8-game bingo pack.

“Never Too Late” by Magic Circle Players Magic Circle Players presents “Never Too Late” at Magic Circle Theater, 420 S. 12th St., on select dates from January 13-22. This 1962 Broadway hit is about a married man in his 50s whosuddenly learns he is going to become a father again. His last child, a girl, was born 24 years ago and still lives at home. She is married and his son-inlaw is not high on his list. The impending birth is a concern but his previously darling, meek, little wife begins to lay down the law! There’s to be a nursery, a new bathroom and she’s to have her own checking account. Come prepared for surprises, fun and laughter! “Never Too Late” opens at 7:30 p.m. Friday, January 13 and evening performances continue on January 14, 20, 21, 27 and 28. Sunday matinees will be on January 15 and 22 at 2 p.m. For information, call 249-7838 or purchase tickets at www.magiccircleplayers.com.

Trump’s tax plan? Facebook?

End-of-Life Options Act? Learn about law changes that might affect you in 2017.

Learn about law changes that might affect you in 2017 in this free seminar presented by the attorneys of The Law Office of Brown & Brown, PC. Seminars take place at 4:30 p.m. in Delta and Montrose. Seminar is free but registration is required. Call 765-3123 to register.

• Montrose - January 9 at Region 10 • Delta - January 16 at Grand Mesa Oncology

Colorado Experience Roadshow The Colorado Experience Roadshow is making a stop at the Sherbino Theater, 604 Clinton St. in Ridgway on January 17 with the screening of the episodes, “Courthouses” and “Dinosaurs,” and a Q&A session to follow. Presented by Rocky Mountain PBS and the Colorado Office of Film, Television and Media, this is a free and family friendly event.

Doors open at 5:30 p.m. Screenings start at 6 p.m. For more information, visit www.rmpbs.org/coloradoexperi ence/home/. ■

FUN AFTER 50

Activities offered by the Montrose Recreation District To register for these programs, call the Montrose Recreation District at 249-7705 or visit www.montroserec.com.

TRIPS & TOURS

MUSIC & DANCE

Trips depart from the Montrose Senior Center. Please arrive 15 minutes prior to the activity’s start time noted below.

MONDAYS Jam session/sing-along If you play an instrument or sing, join us from 4-6 p.m. on Mondays at the Montrose Senior Center. Each person gets a turn to choose and lead a song.

JANUARY 5 Paonia Business Tour Take a tour of The Cirque, Revolution Brewing and Elsewhere Studios from 8:30 a.m.-3:30 p.m. with lunch in Paonia. Cost is $24. Bring money for lunch.

JANUARY 10 Serpent’s Trail hike Called the “crookedest road in the world,” Serpent’s Trail on the Colorado National Monument has 16 switchbacks. Join us for a 3.5-mile moderate hike from 8:30 a.m.-3:30 p.m. Cost is $18. Bring a sack lunch.

JANUARY 17 Snowshoeing on Cerro Summit Snowshoe from 9:15 a.m.-2 p.m.

Bring your own snowshoes or rent them from Cascade Bicycles. Cost is $18. Bring a sack lunch.

ARTS & CRAFTS THURSDAYS Woodworking Hand-carve a variety of items with the Black Canyon Woodcarvers from 1-3 p.m. Bring your own supplies and $1 for bulk wood, etc. For more information, call 323-5860.

TUESDAYS Crafty Chatty Group Bring your unfinished projects and socialize while you work from 9:4511:30 a.m. There’s no charge to join this group. Bring your own materials.

For more information, call 249-7198 or 249-8580.

MONDAYS Line dancing Line dance from 4-6 p.m. on the first, second and fourth Mondays of the month, and 6-8 p.m. on the third Mondays at the Montrose Senior Center. A $2 donation is requested.

SATURDAYS Learn to line dance class Learn a new dance each week for six weeks. Classes are Saturdays from 12:30-1:30 p.m., January 7-28 at the Montrose Aquatic Center Apex & Omni rooms, 25 Colorado Ave.

HEALTH EXERCISE CLASSES AT THE SENIOR CENTER Tai Chi - 9 a.m. Mondays Stretch Exercise - 9 a.m. Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays Moving with Mike - 9-9:30 a.m.

Tuesdays and Thursdays Zumba - 9:45 a.m. Tuesdays and Thursdays.

GAMES JANUARY 16 Games and potluck Monday Night Out begins with bingo at 4 p.m. The potluck begins at 5 p.m., then join line dancing or games at 6 p.m. Participate in one or all of the activities! Bring a dish to share and $2 for paper goods and prizes.

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EVENTS READY FOR SOME GOOD CLEAN FUN! Join us at Montrose Elks Bingo: Tuesday night, 6:30 p.m., 801 South Hillcrest, Elks Lodge. $10 Main Bingo Pack (8 Games). Includes 5 Bingo Games + 3 Progressives.

New Games Manager.

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$AVE MONEY ON TRAVEL! Travel Club membership offering discount cruises, travel packages and decreased condo rates.

Checkout www.coconutclub vacations.com. Member # cc1546ue, password #1115. Travel agents at 855-259-1155. Call Susan at 970-462-1115 before booking a trip so I can call the organization with pre-approval. Free to BEACON readers to use this membership.

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(970) 260-2327

Professionally conducted estate sales, executive sales, farm and ranch

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50+ Exercise trainer for the 50+ crowd. Private studio in Montrose. Reasonable fees. Gently work on strength, stability, flexibility and mobility. Have fun! ACE certified. 970-901-9541.

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JANUARY 2017

KUDOS & KVETCH 23

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Fitness is key to wellness—boy, was I wrong!

By Jim Cotsana

W

hen I was in my late 20s, I would often over hear much older adults around me complaining about their hips, knees, cholesterol, back pain, poor hearing, things they could no longer eat because of acid reflux, etc.

None of this made an impression on me. Being a former Marine officer, I continued with my physical fitness routine for years after I left active duty. I felt I was in great shape and would never have to confront any of these issues or ailments.

Well, things change. About seven years ago, my left hip started bothering me to the point where I couldn’t get a good night’s sleep.

Whenever I turned, I would wake up from the pain. Thinking it was my hip, I had an x-ray which showed it to be bursitis. About the same time, I started to get ringing in my ears. This turned out to be tinnitus along with some significant hearing loss. Vanity kicked in and I decided I was going to put off hearing aids as long as I can.

Then about two years ago, I started to get lower back pain that radiated down both legs. I let it go thinking it was the result of too much exercise. However, it just kept getting worse. Finally, an MRI showed severe spinal stenosis. I refused surgery and opted for periodic lumbar injections.

The real kicker happened one day in February. For a couple of weeks prior, I felt pressure growing in my chest along with some shortness of breath and occasional nausea. I thought I might be having the big one! I decided to go the hospital and have it checked out. I told the emergency room nurse how I was feeling and was immediately tak-

en in for an EKG. Negative. They hooked up a heart monitor and took blood. A little later, a doctor said my numbers looked fine except for one which was a little off and could indicate a blood clot in one of my lungs. Off I went for a CAT scan.

Also negative. I really wanted to go home but they recommended I stay the night to be monitored and take a stress test in the morning.

Trying to sleep through the night in a hospital is pointless, which I suspect many of you can relate to.

The cardiologist said my heart and lungs were in great shape and he wished more people had my insides.

“That’s all well and good,” I said, “but what’s the issue I’m having?”

It turned out to be acid reflux.

So now, I have to put up with the ringing in my ears, asking people to speak up a little louder, bouts with bursitis, acid reflux which requires me to watch what I eat, and lower back pain from spinal stenosis— those same issues I remember being discussed by adults when I was much younger.

Because my orthopedic doctor advised me to no longer lift heavy objects, I call on my adult nephews when I need help. When I do call, they jokingly say, “What do you need help with now, old man?” I tell them, “I was like you at your age so just remember this is going to catch up with you someday soon, so keep laughing. Also, keep in mind that I keep an eraser next to my will, so don’t push it.”

As I watch them place two heavy and bulky window air conditioners in my home, I reflect back on those days listening to all the complaints about this or that ailment and never thought I’d ever be in that situation.

Boy, was I wrong! ■

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