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MARCH 2017

Vol. 3

No. 3

Montrose & Delta Counties’ Newspaper for Adults 50+. Over 13,650 Readers.

Create a Legacy and money 2017

time LOCAL guide to giving your

FREE

The fight for Western Slope water rights

Mark Hermundstad preserves water for future generations

INS IDE Photo by Melanie Wiseman

Locally Your Guide to Giving Advertising Team

Produced by the BEACON’s

Visit us on the web at m www.BeaconSeniorNews.co

JOHN LYONS America’s most trusted horseman

Photo courtesy of Charles Hilton Photography

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MARCH 2017

EDITORIAL

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How much should I give?

By Kevin K. VanGundy

L

ike you, I am constantly asked to donate. It can seem overwhelming at times as I ask myself, “How much should I give?”

In the Old Testament, those of Jewish faith were commanded to bring a tenth of their earnings to the temple storehouse. My cousin, a Buddhist, feels no compulsion to tithe but gives generously, as he believes that it will eventually come back to him with interest. Some practicing capitalists see no reason to give at all.

As a Christian, I believe that Jesus spoke of the right amount to give when he spoke of the poor widow, who placed her last few cents in the temple’s offering. Wow! Imagine giving all that you have to benefit another.

I have not done that. So until that day, the answer to, “How much should I give?” is always, “More.”

Leave a legacy In this month’s paper you’ll find our Create a Legacy insert—your local guide to donating your time and money. While there are many worthy causes in the area, I believe the organizations in this month’s paper deserve your extra consideration.

Read their stories thoughtfully as they educate you about their mission,

the people they serve and how you can volunteer your time or leave a financial legacy for future generations.

Grand Junction BeaconFest is April 20

Every year depression affects

19 MILLION AMERICANS regardless of age, race, or gender

Our Montrose-Delta BeaconFest takes place every September, but believe me, you don’t want to miss our Grand Junction BeaconFest either.

BeaconFest is an annual event where our community comes together to celebrate aging. This boomer and senior lifestyle show will be Thursday, April 20, from 9 a.m-3 p.m. at Two Rivers Convention Center in downtown Grand Junction. BeaconFest features an exciting lineup of entertainment, free food, lively seminars and informational booths from local vendors displaying their senior-related products and talking about their services. Admission is free!

We are here to help

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A few vendor booths remain Does your business sell products or services to boomers and seniors, our area’s fastest-growing demographic?

Not only is BeaconFest an effective way of meeting with them one on one (over 3,000 people attended our Grand Junction show last year), but it’s also a lot of fun! Call us at 2438829 for information about being a vendor at this year’s show. ■

Colorow Care Center

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Colorow is a skilled nursing facility that believes in healthy living, person-centered care and nontraditional approaches in meeting everyday needs.

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We Accept: • Medicare • Medicaid • RMHMO • Private Pay • PACE • And More

4

COVER STORY

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business, surely inspired by the difference Lyons has made in the lives of others, who come to him from all walks of life.

Photos courtesy of Charles Hilton Photography.

Becoming a horse whisperer

John Lyons:

The story of America’s most trusted horseman

By Melanie Wiseman

J

ohn Lyons knows a lot about horses, but he knows even more about people.

“A three-day clinic may cost $1,000, but I tell people I charge $100 for the horse and $900 for you,” Lyons said. “It’s so much more exasperating to work with people than it is with a horse because people cannot change as fast as horses can. I teach people that if you want your horse to change, you have to look in the mirror and first change yourself.”

This is just one of the concepts Lyons has been teaching for more than

40 years, giving him the reputation of America’s most trusted horseman.

Lyons, 69, said he’s been trying to retire for 15 years. His services are still in high demand and he continues to travel, hosting clinics and appearing at stock shows and horse expos around the world. He said he’s cut way back, but even at home in Parachute, he has his 70-acre ranch to care for.

Though John has advised his children against training horses due to the dangers involved, three of them—along with several grandchildren—are involved in the family

Lyons has had his own TV show and a magazine with 110,000 subscribers. He’s written 20 books, produced instructional videos and manuals, taught 500 professional trainers around the world and has worked with 100,000 horses. But for him, success didn’t happen overnight.

The route his life took is surprising.

Lyons grew up in Phoenix. He married young and had four kids, bought a house with some land, added a couple horses, and worked as a successful medical salesman in Kansas City.

One might think he had everything a person could want—but something was still missing.

“I was making a ton of money but I didn’t enjoy it,” he said. “I didn’t want to wake up at 50 years old and regret what I had done with my life just for money.”

John fell in love with Colorado while visiting a stepbrother in Silverton. Striving for a change, he decided to leave his job at age 24 and pursue cattle ranching in Colorado.

So in 1976, he bought a ranch in Silt.

Despite his hard work and determination to make the ranch successful, interest rates skyrocketed, the bottom dropped out of cattle prices and Lyons felt the brunt of a years-long drought.

Through these challenging years, he and his family were learning about training and showing horses.

They even made a champion performance horse. After the ranch went broke, Lyons started looking at horse training as a way to support his family.

Some trainers’ methods are based on fear and punishment. One horse-training clinic Lyons attended in Eagle struck a nerve.

“What this guy was teaching was so dangerous and terrible,” Lyons said.

That’s when he started his own clinics and started developing his own training philosophy.

MARCH 2017

“I decided to help people,” Lyons said. “Not just train their horses for them.”

Because of his success with horses, people started calling Lyons “the horse whisperer,” a moniker still used to describe him today.

But Lyons insists that “horse whispering” has connotations about special abilities, which he assures is not the case with him.

“You practice at it and learn,” he said. “I’m no different than anyone else. I was trying to teach people they could do anything I was doing with a horse. It was just a matter of learning new methods.”

The horse mentality Lyons said the first step to horse whispering is understanding the world from the animal’s point of view.

“Horses are a conditioned response animal, which means they’re teachable, taught by repetition just like a dog,” he said. “Horses just have a different motivator.”

Where dogs have an owner or master, horses do not. They see one person as all people. Lyons believes horses are motivated by togetherness and peace, and says they will trade their freedom and everything in life just to have moments of peace.

“It probably took me 20 years to figure out the concept,” Lyons said.

“Once I figured that out, I started looking at a horse’s behavior differently.”

Lyons said horses are good students, able to retain 90 percent of what they’ve learned over an 18-month period.

“That means if you teach them something and leave them alone, they will still remember it 18 months later,” he said.

They’re also able to unlearn a 20-year-old habit in 90 minutes and never go back to it.

According to Lyons, horses are God’s favorite animal and are mentioned 352 times in the Bible.

“He put the same desire in the horse that he did for us: wanting to live in peace,” Lyons said. “When He said, ‘I gave them their beauty, speed and grace, and filled them with

MARCH 2017

COVER STORY

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boundless courage,’ he really meant it.”

Lyons supports this philosophy of trust and courage with the story of a horse he once had that went blind in one day.

“That horse would still carry me and run full speed,” he said. “What kind of ability and courage would it take for us to be able to do that?”

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The replacement concept Lyons teaches so that his horses never get the answer wrong. His methods are based on building trust with a horse and not motivating it by fear.

“I stay focused on what I’m teaching even when the horse is doing something I don’t want him to do,” he said.

“I call it the replacement concept of horse training. I never punish or correct the horse’s behavior. Instead I replace it with, ‘Here, try this,’ and make it simple so they get praise.”

He requires the owner be present during training so they can practice the same methods he teaches.

“I treat the horse like a dance partner, gently redirecting him if he starts going in the wrong direction,” he said.

His methods work, as thousands of clients and horse experts can attest to.

Lyons has documented several occasions where his horse Zip demonstrated extraordinary trust.

Lyons once asked a pilot friend to hover a helicopter so close that Lyons could reach the rudders while on Zip’s back. Another time, he was at a circus in Ohio and asked a trainer if he could take a picture of Zip with an elephant. Zip stood calmly while

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John and Jody with grandsons Austin, Johnny, Rider and Joe. the elephant put his mouth over his withers and laid his trunk down one side. On another occasion, Lyons met a trained Kodiak bear at a game farm in Washington. He asked the bear’s owner to have the bear rear up in front of Zip. Unbelievably, it didn’t faze Zip. They even had the bear and Zip rear up at the same time.

A brand-new day Lyons moved his family to his dream ranch in Parachute. His kids grew older, he separated from his first wife and was single again. Years later he met the love of his life, Jody, and they married in 2003. All together, they have seven children.

He’s seen similar “do-overs” in his

work.

“No matter what the horse’s past has been, God gives us a brand-new day and a brand-new start,” he said.

Lyons was one of the first to introduce Christian teachings to the horse industry, and conducts church services at large expositions.

“If you’re a Christian, it should permeate into everything you do,” Lyons said. “I don’t know how to separate Him from my everyday life, so it’s part of my clinics.”

When their ranch eventually sells, Lyons and his wife will spend their lives somewhere in Colorado on five acres against Forest Service land, sharing a sense of peace with their three horses. ■

P.O. Box 3895, Grand Junction, CO 81502 ph: 970.243.8829 fax: 800.536.7516 Website: www.BeaconSeniorNews.com E-mail: Beacon@PendantPublishing.com The BEACON is published at the beginning of the month. Our goal is to inform and inspire the 50+ community in Mesa, Delta and Montrose counties.

Publication of advertising does not necessarily constitute endorsement. Columns are opinions of the writers, not necessarily the opinion of the publisher. Display advertising rates are available upon request. Deadline for advertising and announcements is the 20th of the month preceding publication. © Copyright 2017 • All Rights Reserved

Below, Lyons’ horse Zip poses for a photo with an elephant at a circus after it laid its trunk down Zip’s side.

Zip also stood still as a trained Kodiak bear reared up in front of him.

Cover Photo: John Lyons rides horses with his grandson Joe on his family’s 70-acre dream ranch ein Parachute, Colorado.

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FEATURE STORY

www.BeaconSeniorNews.com

MARCH 2017

For the love of food:

Local CSA farms grow roots within community

By Paige Slaughter

W

Guy and Lynn Borden envisioned a life of self-sufficiency, which led them to start Borden Farms in Pea Green.

hen Lynn and Guy Borden arrived in Pea Green, everyone thought they were nuts.

That’s because in 1996, organic farming was still new to Colorado.

“We were the oddballs,” Guy said.

But the couple wanted to eat good food, and at the time, the best way to get good food was to grow it.

Before moving to the Western Slope, the Bordens envisioned a life of self-sufficiency. They had a dream farm in mind, and after a few years of searching, they found it nestled amongst thousands of acres of pasture and corn in Pea Green.

As one of the oldest organic farms in the country, Borden Farms is something of a treasure, made brighter by its founders’ sincere love of food.

“We just wanted really good quality, old-fashioned food like our grand-

parents had,” Lynn said.

From their unimposing belief in quality and freshness emerged Borden Farms—14 acres of vegetables and fruits, and a decades-long commitment to growing quality produce.

“We don’t have a political agenda,” Lynn said. “We’re not trying to save the world. We’re trying to do our little part and bring goodness and happiness to people, and we get it back.”

This is the story of how Borden Farms began, but it’s also a story about thousands of people who keep it going strong. Without their support, the Bordens would have never started a Community-Supported Agriculture (CSA) program, which now brings nearly 125 boxes of super-fresh produce per week to its members throughout the growing season.

ous mountain towns.

Buckhorn Gardens in Montrose also provides a traditional CSA model to the communities surrounding Montrose, Ridgway and Telluride.

They believe in offering “ultra-fresh” food in their year-round CSAs, with box options filled with a variety of organically grown produce, farmfresh eggs or farm-raised beef and pork.

The traditional CSA model works well for those whose biggest concern is supporting small farms, but it’s not ideal for everyone, nor does it suit every kind of farmer. One of the biggest obstacles for community-supported agriculture is the high dropout rate, which hovers around 50 percent.

For this reason, among others, many farms are finding alternatives in order to serve customers with different priorities and values.

Sustainable for farmers, fresh for you

Freshness delivered to your door

CSA programs originally began as a way for community members to support local farms by buying in, in exchange for a portion of the farmer’s harvests. Because farming is unpredictable, and farmers’ livelihoods depend on many factors out of their control, programs like these support small farmers and encourage local farming operations.

When a virus kills all of a farmer’s tomatoes, or a big freeze hits and wipes out an entire peach crop, what’s a farmer to do? CSA programs give farmers the flexibility to sell produce throughout the season as available. Farmers benefit by being able to harvest in a way that’s harmonious with their land, and members benefit by getting fresh local produce at its best.

The Bordens stay true to this CSA model, growing everything on their farm, harvesting produce just before it goes into boxes, and bringing their boxes to weekly pickup locations in Montrose, Grand Junction and vari-

Mark Beckner owns and operates Rooted Gypsy Farms in Grand Junction with his wife, Sara. Like Lynn and Guy, they are also on a mission to eat well and help others eat well, too. To manifest that mission, Rooted Gypsy offers farm boxes in a yearround home delivery system.

Locals have three different subscriptions to choose from: the Meat & Salad Box, the Light Meat Box and the Vegetarian Box. Each option contains some combination of leafy greens, farm-fresh eggs and meat raised on their pasture. Customers can choose to receive weekly, biweekly or monthly deliveries, and can put their subscription on hold if they need to.

The flexibility that Rooted Gypsy offers to customers stands out in contrast to traditional CSA models, which are more farmer-centric. But Mark pointed out the trend in having food delivered to one’s home, and he sees getting deliveries from a local grower as a bonus.

MARCH 2017

FEATURE STORY

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Building community roots

To manifest its mission to help people eat well, Rooted Gypsy Farms offers boxes in a yearround home delivery system.

Though Rooted Gypsy Farms’ model is, in Mark’s words, “not really a CSA,” their farm box subscriptions achieve one of community-supported agriculture’s primary goals, which is to provide a food system that’s good for the small farmer and the local community.

Plant startups for home gardeners This is precisely what Paola Legarre is doing with plants at Sage Creations Organic Farm in Palisade. Her new Organic Plant CSA program provides organically grown plant starts, seeds and educational resources to home gardeners periodically throughout the growing season.

“I want to set gardeners up for success,” said Paola. “We grow all of our plant starts organically at the farm, and I’ve tested them in the fields.

I know from personal experience what grows well in our high desert climate, and I want to pass on these varieties to home gardeners, whether they have large gardens or pots on a small patio.”

Sage Creations is known for its lavender fields and bountiful greenhouses, which house hundreds of heirloom and

rare varieties of tomatoes, peppers and culinary herbs.

The farm’s Organic Plant CSA is a tool for locals who want to grow their own food. Throughout the growing season, members receive a set quantity of organic plants at a discounted price, three times throughout the season. Each box contains a mix of seasonally appropriate plant starts, seeds for direct seeding, and potted culinary herbs and flowers.

Members can choose to have Paola handpick their assortment of plants, or they have the option to choose their own favorite varieties.

Sage Creation Organic Farm’s Organic Plant CSA opens the door for community members to engage with the farm and with one another.

Building bridges between farms and communities is exactly what community-supported agriculture is all about.

Field to Fork, an organic farm in Palisade well known for its CSA program, is no exception. Owners Scott and Jessica Washkowiak are grateful for the support they’ve gotten from the community through their CSA program, the heart and foundation of their farm.

“It takes all of us to build our local food systems,” Jessica said.

Field to Fork’s CSA has allowed the farm to deepen its roots throughout the community.

After successfully starting one of the first restaurant-supported agriculture

programs in the state, Field to Fork is now in partnership with School District 51, providing ingredients for their school lunches and salad bar.

They hope to enhance their relationship with local schools by teaching kids about food, farming and nutrition.

Local CSA programs vary greatly in intention and style, but they all remind us of one thing: These local farms depend on support from the communities, and the community often depends on local farms.

Whether it’s quality, freshness, accessibility, ease, resources or richer relationships we’re after, CSA programs can help us find what we’re looking for. ■

You choose what’s in your basket!

Scott and Jessica Washkowiak value partnerships within the community through Field to Fork CSA

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8

TALKING DIGITAL

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MARCH 2017

Antivirus won’t stop today’s cyber bad guys Talking Digital, By Adam Cochran

What if I told you that you really don’t need an antivirus?

I’m not saying that you shouldn’t have one installed, but the traditional antivirus is becoming obsolete, just like DVDs, cable TV and landline phones.

Unfortunately, there are still plenty of bad guys in the world and those bad guys haven’t given up on attacking you via your computer. However, they are also realizing that the traditional computer virus is an ineffective and unrewarding way to get the job done.

Years ago, computer viruses were little more than the digital equivalent of a “flaming bag of poo” prank. But the new era of cyber attacks can be very profitable for the bad guys, who have found ways to bypass antiviruses by tricking the computer user.

Here are a few examples of how these infections work.

The support guy You receive a call from a young man with a thick accent telling you that you have infections on your Windows computer. They often claim to be from Microsoft. They ask you to sit at your computer and follow their instructions.

Before you know it, the caller has remote control of your computer and he runs a scan, which shows that you have thousands of malware infections or signs of hacking.

He offers you protection for a onetime fee—usually around $100—or a monthly protection plan that is usually in the $300 range.

These phone calls are always a scam.

And I mean always.

No matter how convincing they may sound, there is no way that Microsoft or anyone else will call you to tell you that your computer is infected.

The error message One night while browsing for videos of pygmy fainting goats, you click on a link on Google and a page begins loading slowly. Suddenly, an error message comes up and tells you that you have a virus and that you should run a scan or call a phone number.

It seems that the only way to close the window is to click on the link provided, or call the phone number.

Don’t do it. Hold the power button down on your computer for 30 seconds. Then turn the computer back on again. Your computer was never infected and shutting it down will close the fake error messages.

Keep yourself safe online 1. If it causes a shocking emotional response—good or bad—it’s probably a scam or hoax.

2. Don’t ever use wire transfers to send money for something online. Credit cards are the safest form of online payment, but you should always be careful.

3. Don’t believe anyone who calls you to tell you that you have a computer problem.

4. It’s always safe to hang up the phone.

5. You can shut your computer off by holding the power button down for 30 seconds.

6. Don’t trust someone just because they know technobabble that you don’t know.

7. Call your credit card company immediately if you fall for a scam.

8. Don’t be embarrassed if you are a victim. Share your story to help others.

9. If you do need to contact your bank, credit card, or computer support, do it via the phone number associated with the company, not the phone number that is provided in an error message or email. ■

MARCH 2017

ASK THE OLD BAG

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ASK THE OLD BAG Advice Column for the Over 50 Crowd

By Gayle Lagman-Creswick Dear Old Bag: I am 72 and retired five years ago. I always thought when I retired my husband and I would travel and live a carefree life. Shortly after we retired, my husband had a heart attack and died. So much for the carefree life.

I mourned and spent a couple years feeling sorry for myself. My kids have urged me to get out more. I finally decided to join a dating site. When I told my kids they all made me feel old and foolish, saying things such as, “Why would you do such a thing?” or “That’s not a good thing at your age” or “With your luck you will end up with Jack the Ripper. It’s not safe. It is for young people.” I have had coffee with several nice people. I haven’t met anyone I really care for, but it gives me something to look forward to. I’m no dummy. I screen my dates and always meet in public places. Now I feel foolish. Should I listen to my kids? Signed, Ready for Dating Dear Ready: Why is it that many young people feel they have the corner on romance? You don’t grow too old for that! I worked in many nursing homes and the happiest residents were those who still had a little romance in their lives. It heals. It’s the sunshine in the day. It’s the difference of whether you want to put on makeup or jewelry. It’s a spark. I say, talk to your kids about loneliness and about how you miss the companionship of a man. And let them know that you are happier since you began meeting men. Put your foot down and live your life! They will come around. You are a smart and capable woman. OB Dear Old Bag: One of my biggest fears is that when I’m gone, who will hold this family together? It is almost a full-time job. Grandchildren estrange themselves from their parents. Cousins gossip about other cousins, causing hurt feelings. Sisters-in-law complain

behind the backs of other sisters-inlaw. I try my hardest to solve these petty problems. I feel it’s my job as the matriarch of the family. I have tried to teach all of them that we’re family and no infraction is too big not to be forgiven. Who will keep them together when I am gone? Signed, Worried

Dear Worried: I don’t know the answer to that problem. It sounds like you have instilled the importance of family in their minds and likely your children have understood the importance, and they will carry it forth after you are gone. Take some comfort in the fact that in some families, the matriarch herself is the dividing factor, and those families sometimes do not speak to each other for years.

Thanks for writing. OB Dear Old Bag: It doesn’t seem like you get many letters from men; however, I always enjoy your column. One thing that’s bugging me is religion. I am a member of a certain religion and have raised my kids in this religion.

Now that my four kids have grown up, they do not go to church. In fact, I’m not sure what they believe. But that is not my problem. I am a widower and in my later years have become more spiritual than religious. In fact, I think my religion had almost taken away my spirituality. I have made a decision to leave this religion and get somewhere where they believe in spirituality and are not bogged down with rules and dogma. I feel raising my kids in this religion was a big mistake. They didn’t develop their spirituality! I want you to know I feel greatly relieved to be making this change. I know I will be a better person. I don’t need advice.

I just wanted to make a statement.

Signed, Awake Dear Awake: Thank you.

Well said. OB ■

Send your questions to the Old Bag in care of the BEACON, or email lagmancreswick@cox.net

Your satisfaction is totally guaranteed!

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10

LAUGHING MATTERS

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LAUGHING MATTERS NASA’s problem

a boat with a coffin in it.

Submitted by Bob Breazeale

A passerby remarked, “That guy must have been a very avid fisherman.”

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero-gravity. They managed to solve the problem after a decade and millions of dollars. They developed a pen that not only writes in zero-gravity, but upside down, on almost any surface, including glass, and at temperatures ranging from below zero to 300 degrees Fahrenheit.

The Russians had the same problem, but they solved it in about five minutes for a nickel. They used a pencil. Don’t you just love to see your tax dollars at work?

The funeral Submitted by Karen Jones

A funeral procession pulled into a cemetery. Several carloads of family members followed a black truck towing

“Oh, he still is,” remarked one of the mourners. “As a matter of fact, he’s headed off to the lake as soon as we bury his wife.”

Bungee jumping Submitted by Bob Breazeale

Over the holidays some college kids decided to go to Mexico to do some bungee jumping. They found the perfect spot, a bridge high over a dry riverbed. They got their equipment ready, measured the distance and got everything hooked up.

The first guy got into the harness and jumped off. Everything was going fine until they heard screaming and yelling.

They quickly pulled the guy up. He was all scratched and bruised and bloody.

They asked, “What happened? Was our measurement wrong?”

The guy replied, “The measurement was perfect. The problem was there were some kids with sticks yelling, ‘Piñata! Piñata!’”

Fire trucks Submitted by Lewis Armbrust

Several elementary school children were at recess when they started talking about why there is a dog on every fire truck.

One boy said, “The dog’s there to keep the firefighters company.”

Another boy said, “The dog helps the firefighters rescue people.”

“No,” one little girl interjected, “The dog is there to find the fire hydrants.”

Be on the lookout Submitted by Alan Kipling

The Montana State Department of Fish and Wildlife has advised golfers to take extra precautions and be on the alert for bears while playing on golf courses this spring. They advise golfers to wear noise-producing devices such as little bells on their clothing to

MARCH 2017

alert the bears, but not to startle them unexpectedly. They also advise golfers to carry pepper spray in the case of an encounter with a bear.

It is also a good idea to watch for signs of bear activity. Golfers should be able to recognize the difference between Black bear and Grizzly bear droppings on the golf course. Black bear droppings are smaller and contain berries and possibly squirrel fur. Grizzly bear droppings have bells, golf gloves and sunglasses in them, and smell like pepper spray.

The Senility Prayer Submitted by Dexter Walton

Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do and the eyesight to tell the difference.

Now look what you did Submitted by Sheri Moore

Two brothers, ages 8 and 10, were always getting into trouble and their parents knew all about it. If any mischief occurred in their town, the two boys were probably involved.

MARCH 2017

LAUGHING MATTERS 11

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The boys’ mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually. So the mother sent the 8-year-old first. The older boy would see the preacher in the afternoon.

The preacher, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, “Do you know where God is, son?”

The boy’s mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there wideeyed with his mouth hanging open.

So the preacher repeated the question in an even sterner tone, “Where is God?” Again, the boy made no attempt to answer.

The preacher raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy’s face and bellowed, “Where is God?” The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dived into his closet, slamming the door behind him.

When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, “What happened?”

The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, “We’re in big trouble this time. God is missing, and they think we did it!”

Logical conclusion

Philanthropy

Later the manager said to the boy, “I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier.

We like people who think on their feet here. Where are you from, son?”

Submitted by Charlotte and Ted Rhodes

A traveler to a faraway town attended a recital and concert at the city’s Smith Auditorium. He was quite impressed with the architecture and the acoustics.

He inquired of the tour guide, “Is this magnificent auditorium named after Steve Smith, the famous scholar?”

Submitted by Janet Morton

A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages.

Suddenly, an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages fell out of it.

“Mama, look what I found,” the boy called out.

“What have you got there, dear?” his mother asked.

With astonishment in his voice, he answered, “I think it’s Adam’s underwear.”

Diplomacy at work

Magic Circle Presents join thePlayers magic

MOONLIGHT & 7

Magnolias V

Submitted by Bruce Robinson

A man walked into the produce section of his local supermarket and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy working in that department told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce. The man was insistent that the boy asks his manager about the matter.

Walking into the back room, the boy said to the manager, “Some jerk wants to buy half a head of lettuce.”

As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, “And this gentleman kindly offered to buy the other half.”

The manager approved the deal and the man went on his way.

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“Texas, sir,” the boy replied.

“Really? Why did you leave Texas?” the manager asked.

“No,” replied the guide. “It is named after Kerry Smith, the writer.”

The boy said, “Sir, there’s nothing but loose women and football players down there.”

“Never heard of him,” said the tourist.

“What did he write?”

“My wife is from Texas,” said the manager.

“A check,” replied the guide.

“Really?” replied the boy. “Who’d she play for?” ■

s Laugh!

MakeSendU your jokes to

Beacon@pendantpublishing.com or P.O. Box 3895, Grand Junction, CO 81502

Montrose United Methodist Church 19 S. Park Ave., Montrose, CO

970-249-3716 • montroseumc.org

12

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Reel women on the fly

LEFT: Kari Sewell holds a brown trout caught on Green River in Utah.

TOP: Sewell holds a rainbow trout on the Gunnison River.

Reasons to fish

By Melanie Wiseman

W

omen nationwide are hanging up their tennis rackets and golf clubs, and picking up fly rods instead. The fastest growing demographic in fly fishing, women and girls now comprise more than 30 percent of American anglers, and 40 percent of these women are over the age of 45.

Though women are flocking to the sport, they’re not new to fly fishing.

Joan Wulff, 90, started when she was just 10 years old and remains the leading female fly fisher in the world.

She outcast men as the National Casting Champion from 1943-1960, and has a fly-fishing school in the Catskills of New York.

Jeff McKenna,

manager of Western Anglers in Grand Junction, said when he guides fly-fishing trips, women always catch more fish than the men.

“They listen, which is key, and have more patience,” he said.

“They are quicker studies and seem to enjoy it more without the competitiveness that’s typical of men.”

The growing number of women anglers has spurred Western Anglers owner Ned Mayers to offer Ladies’ Night several times a year. These popular gatherings of women of all ages and skill levels offer fly fishing speakers, support, friendships, merchandise discounts, and a little wine to boot.

“This is where we live,” said Mayers, referring to the rich fly-fishing country in Western Colorado. “Take advantage of it. It’s never too late to start.”

MARC

Mayers’ wife, Colette, 47, is also an avid fly-fisher. Working at Whiting Farms in Delta, a leading worldwide source of fly-tying hackle, she gets to share her passion with coworkers and customers. She enjoys the peace that comes with fly fishing, but she especially loves to fly fish with other women.

“It’s a great de-stresser,” she said.

“I can have a great day and not catch a single fish.”

Colette said she’s often caught off guard when she catches a fish because she’s mesmerized by the scenery and life of the river—the wildflowers on the bank, the insects, the sounds of the water and fish waving against the current.

“Fly fishing almost forces you to let your mind rest and we don’t do that enough,” she said.

On the flip side, Lennie Watson, a 67-year-old nurse, finds pleasure in the challenge and the technical aspects of fly fishing.

“I look forward to the planning and anticipation, as well as actually catching the fish,” she said. Pondering strategy is rewarding for Watson, as she considers factors such as the best fly to use, water temperature, weather and time of year.

“I want to learn everything I can about every aspect of fly fishing and how you use your mind, skill and body,” she said.

Being a volunteer on Colorado’s Parks and Wildlife Commission for five years opened her eyes to the sport.

She took a class with the Colorado Department of Parks and Wildlife and was excited to hit the water.

“Wherever you fly fish is probably one of the most beautiful places you can ever be,” said Watson. “Time flies and the whole world falls away.”

While Kari Sewell was growing up, her mom and brother were obsessed

H 2017

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Kate Larmouth is one of the founders of Able Women, a social outreach aimed at getting women involved in fly-fishing. with fly fishing. She didn’t get serious about it until her mid 20s, after which there was no such thing as too much.

“Then life happened, I had two daughters and only went a couple times a year,” said Sewell, 53.

Tragedy struck Sewell’s family in 2012 when her husband, Tim, committed suicide. She spent the next several years searching for ways to channel her trauma and grief.

Two years ago she reconnected with fly fishing by entering the Grand Valley Anglers Trout Unlimited Carp Fly Fishing Tournament. With her daughters almost grown, Sewell can usually

Lennie Watson fly-fishing in Ouray

be found fly fishing at one of her favorite year-round spots.

“I was so passionate about it before and I’m so fortunate to have found it again,” she said. “Casting and the focus it requires take the chatter away.

For me, it’s a spiritual experience. Fly fishing is the glue that keeps all the pieces in my life together.”

For her, it’s about more than just catching fish. It’s about the whole experience, whether she feels like being social with friends, or experiencing nature in solitude.

Fly fishing benefits Kate Larmouth has been fly fishing for 23 years, which is especially a

Get ready to fly fish For more information on fly-fishing equipment lessons, guided trips or Ladies Night through Western Anglers, visit www.westernanglers.com or call 244-8658.

For the right hackle and equipment, contact: Whiting Farms, Inc. - 874-0999 5796 Sawmill Mesa Road, Delta www.whitingfarms.com

Ross Reels - 249-0606 11 Ponderosa Ct., Montrose www.rossreels.com

Want to share knowledge and experiences?

Grand Valley Anglers Trout Unlimited – www.grandvalleyanglers.tu.org.

Gunnison Gorge Anglers – www.gunnisongorgeanglers.tu.org Able Women – www.ablewomenflyfish.com.

Colette Mayers holds up a fish she caught at a ladies’ float trip.

long time for her since she is only 29.

She even met her husband while fly fishing with her dad on the Delaware River. Now they both work at Ross Reels in Montrose.

“Fly fishing is more than just a sport,” Larmouth said. “There are physical, emotional and spiritual benefits. It’s about connecting with the outdoors, sharing in a community and giving you confidence in being who you are.”

Larmouth is one of the founders of Able Women, a social outreach aimed at getting women involved in fly-fishing, allowing them to share knowledge and experiences

with each other.

“Learning to fly fish from another woman is different than from a man,” Larmouth said. “It sometimes felt stressful and like work when I went with my dad. With women, the priority is to have fun. It’s more relaxed and at the end of the day, it’s all about supporting each other.”

Whether it’s the calming effect of this quiet sport, the ability to surround oneself with the great outdoors or the camaraderie, women are finding a connection and passion for fly fishing in record numbers. You could say they’re hooked. ■

14

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Rosemont BAPTIST CHURCH

Turning Montrose Around

S Townsend Ave E Niagara Rd

RosemontBaptist.org

FAMILY Sunday

FELLOWSHIP

Bible Study (all ages) 9:15 am Worship Service 10:45 am

Wednesday

AWANA

3:30 pm

COMMUNITY 1598 E Niagara Rd Montrose, CO 81401 Office: 970.249.4887

BE FOR E AFTER

970.589.9469

3055 Aerotech Pkwy Montrose

ATV’s • Snowmobiles Golf Carts • Tractors

“I volunteer because I wanted one-on-one interaction with patients. The way I think of it is if this were my mom, I hope someone would be kind enough to visit her.” ~ Susie Rochon

HopeWest Patient & Family Support Volunteer

Make a difference, become a patient & family support volunteer.

Call (970)257-2378 today.

HopeWestCO.org

MARCH 2017

Community Recreation Center: the pride and joy of Montrose

By Cindy Reardon

M

ontrose is proud of its recently opened Community Recreation Center (CRC), and understandably so.

Just walking into the new rec center makes hearts pump with excitement.

The handsome building is eye-catching against the horizon. It houses a 5,000-square-foot weight room and fitness center, a Fit Zone Aerobics Studio and an indoor walking/jogging track with a hill and a stair course. There’s also a cool water lap pool, 11 competition lanes, diving boards, slack line and drop slide, warm water pool with a lazy river, a playground and zero-depth entry beach, a two-story slide and a hot pool with hydrotherapy jets.

It’s hard to believe, but that’s just the beginning. There is also a threecourt gym, two racquetball courts and a 27-foot climbing wall in the style of the Black Canyon. There’s a game room, a free indoor playroom, party rooms, nine private family locker rooms, an outdoor walking/bike path and a multi-purpose outdoor green space.

Montrose Recreation District (MRD) Board President Barbara Bynum said the vision for the new recreation center was born in March

2011, when it became obvious that the old pool needed to be replaced. A citizens’ task force was organized and from there, the campaign evolved into a vision of a brand-new recreation center with a full complement of activities.

Land was purchased in 2012, and in 2014, the City of Montrose endorsed the recreation center. What used to be an unused lot has turned into a vibrant community fitness destination.

Appealing to boomers and seniors The Montrose Community Recreation Center is designed with every age in mind, but it’s obvious that they have gone the extra mile to include people over age 50. The Montrose CRC Activity Guide has a plethora of activities for seniors of all fitness levels, including pickleball, yoga, aqua aerobics, dancing and a six-week video series to help fight dementia and Alzheimer’s.

“The center has been well-utilized by seniors, and they’re having a ball,” said Cindy Marino, the 50-plus activities coordinator.

Silver Sneakers and Silver & Fit may cover part or all of membership fees

MARCH 2017

15

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FUN AFTER 50

Activities offered by the Montrose Recreation District To register for these programs, call the Montrose Recreation District at 249-7705 or visit www.montroserec.com.

TRIPS & TOURS Montrose’s Community Recreation Center, located at 16350 Woodgate Road. through some insurance plans for those 65 and over. If insurance won’t cover the fees, there are special rates for people over 55—general admission for Montrose seniors is $5.

Marino said the CRC has been popular with boomers and seniors because it provides many classes that enable each participant to adjust the activity according to his or her abilities. Chairs are provided in some classes, and group fitness instructors are happy to help tailor exercise routines to meet individual goals and needs. Many of the classes have a “try before you buy” policy, which means you can try a class one time to see if it’s something you enjoy.

Meet new people The social aspect of exercising in groups can’t be overstated. Winter can be a time of isolation for some people. The Montrose CRC is a refuge for anyone needing a place to connect while working towards

better health.

MRD Executive Director Ken Sherbenou said the Montrose Community Recreation Center has “exceeded all expectations.”

He said that the staff and community has been completely blown away by the support that has rallied around the Montrose CRC. “For decades, there have been discussions towards a new recreation center,” he said. “Now that it’s here, it has become a source of community pride.”

The building, the instructors, the staff and the energy surrounding the center have all come together to create a fantastic place to pursue a healthier lifestyle, new friendships and a new outlook on life. ■

Trips depart from the Montrose Senior Center. Please arrive 15 minutes prior to the activity’s start time noted below.

MARCH 7 Snowshoeing near Ridgway Snowshoe County Road 5 near Ridgway from 9:30 a.m.-2 p.m. Bring your own snowshoes or rent them from Cascade Bicycles. Trip cost is $18. Bring a sack lunch.

MARCH 10 Sandhill Crane Viewing View these amazing birds in the Delta area from 9 a.m.-1 p.m. Cost is $18. Bring a sack lunch.

MARCH 16 Paranormal investigation From 3-5 p.m., Bob DeQuinze will give information about the Museum of the Mountain West and its history.

Hotchkiss Paranormal Investigators will set up equipment and conduct an on-site investigation. Meet at the museum at 2:45 p.m. Cost is $24.

MARCH 30 Cabin Fever Buster Have lunch at Olive Garden in Grand Junction, then go see a matinee.

You will have a couple of movies to choose from. Cost is $20. Bring money for movie and lunch.

GAMES MARCH 20 Monday Night Out The evening begins with bingo at 4 p.m. The potluck begins at 5 p.m., then join line dancing or games at 6 p.m. Participate in one or all of the activities! Bring a dish to share and $2 for paper goods and prizes.

MUSIC & DANCE MONDAYS Jam session/sing-along If you play an instrument or sing, join us from 4-6 p.m. on Mondays at the Montrose Senior Center. Each person gets a turn to choose and lead a song and others play along.

MONDAYS Line dancing Line dance from 4-6 p.m. on the first, second and fourth Mondays of the month, and 5-7 p.m. on the third Monday at the Montrose Senior Center. A $2 donation is requested.

HEALTH Exercise classes at the Senior Center Dining Room Tai Chi - 9 a.m. Mondays Stretch Exercise - 9 a.m. Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays Moving with Mike - 9-9:30 a.m.

Tuesdays and Thursdays Zumba - 9:45 a.m. Tuesdays and Thursdays.

WRITING MARCH 6 Montrose Writer’s Group This group meets monthly from 2-3:30 p.m. in the Senior Center dining room. Published and non-published writers are welcome. Call Kate Burke at 729-1188 for more information.

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FUN & GAMES

www.BeaconSeniorNews.com

MARCH 2017

For the puzzle answers see page 23 Across 1 Round peg in a round hole 6 Delhi streetwear 10 Decays 14 Poet’s inspiration 15 “I agree!”

16 Euclid’s lake 17 Latent 20 Impresario Hurok 21 Time frames 22 Parser’s parts 23 Traveler 25 Fateful March date 26 Jack Benny catchphrase 28 Where FDR met Stalin 30 Land of Esau’s descendants 34 In full voice 36 Play opener 38 See red?

39 On the mat 43 Honshu shrine center 44 Cartoon expletive 45 Hearth bit 46 “Leaving Las Vegas” girl 48 Inappro-priate 51 Prime minister Moro 52 Hoops great Willis 54 Bonanza dad 56 Sacred text of Islam

58 Oliver Twist’s request 59 Greek letter 62 Blue 65 Auerbach and Buttons 66 Sovereign state began in 1937 67 Longest river in France 68 Robin’s residence 69 Paper for the house 70 Single-celled microorganism Down 1 Early -socialist presidential candidate Eugene 2 Popular cookie 3 Non-dancer at the dance 4 Ike’s W.W.II domain 5 More humble in status 6 Libyan hot spot 7 “Rag Mop” brothers 8 Matter for the courts 9 Flood 10 Say nay!

11 Port on the Mediterranean 12 Annoying facial movements 13 Come to understand 18 Deuce topper 19 School builder?

24 President Chester Arthur’s middle name 25 “The Seven Year ___” 26 Sinai streambeds 27 Notched irregularly 29 Strong frothy espresso 31 Dieter’s bane 32 Held title 33 Way around downtown 35 Country P.O. letters?

37 Vanilla of rap 40 Got one’s bearings 41 Big name in cartography 42 Sultanate on the Gulf 47 Put the cuffs on 49 Turned the field 50 Burned rubber 53 Cochlea locale 55 Royal kingdom 56 Capped joint 57 Tote board data 58 Like a bagatelle?

60 Daughter of Cronus 61 Bugged 62 Large coffeepot 63 Giddyup!

64 “Me ___ !”

Crossword Puzzle

For the puzzle answers see page 23

MARCH 2017

MONTROSE/DELTA COUNTIES 17

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REGION 10 Education & Activities Events will be held at Region 10, 300 N. Cascade Ave. in Montrose, unless stated otherwise. Registration is required. All sessions are free. For details and to register, call 765-3123 or 765-3127.

Aging and Disability Resources for Colorado (ADRC) meetings This is a collaboration of businesses, community members and caregivers that serve and work with the aging and disabled populations. Meetings are held monthly on the second Tuesday, alternating between Delta and Montrose.

The next meeting is March 14 at 9:30 a.m. at Montrose Memorial Hospital.

Call 765-3123 for more details.

SUPPORT GROUPS • Caregiver Support & Networking Group Montrose meets monthly on the first Wednesday and the third Thursday from 1:30-2:30 p.m. at Region 10. Call 275-2138.

• Caregiver Support & Networking Group Ridgway meets monthly on the second Tuesday from 1:30-2:30 p.m. at the Ridgway Library. Call 2752138.

• Kinship Connections Support Group is for individuals raising children that are not their own. Group meets monthly from 6-8 p.m. on the first Thursdays at Region 10. Call 765-3127.

EDUCATION “Why there is no such thing as a simple will” Learn the basics about will/trust estate plans and common issues that can make what seems simple complicated.

What are probate and non-probate assets? How can trusts protect heirs?

How can documents be used with powers of attorney? This free presentation takes place from 4:30-5:30 p.m.

Registration required by calling 243-8250 or visiting www.brownand brownpc.com.

• Montrose: March 13 at Region 10 • Delta: March 20 at Grand Mesa Oncology, 1501 E. Third St.

MARCH 4 “Medicare and You” Feeling lost in the maze of Medicare?

Region 10 and the State Health Insurance Assistance Program (SHIP) are offering an informative seminar on how to navigate the Medicare system from 10 a.m. to noon at 145 W. Fourth St. in Delta. Seminars are free and no registration is necessary. SHIP counselors are also available for one-on-one counseling sessions in the Region 10 services area. To schedule an appointment, call 249-2436, ext. 213.

MARCH 6-APRIL 10 “Powerful Tools for Caregivers” This educational series will be held at the Grand Mesa Oncology and Rheumatology building, 1501 E. Third St. in Delta. This program helps family caregivers reduce stress, improve self-confidence, communicate feelings better, balance their lives, increase their ability to make tough decisions and locate helpful resources. Classes consist of six sessions held once a week on Mondays from 1-3:30 p.m. A $25 donation is requested for participants over the age of 60. Participants under the age of 60 are required to pay the $25 fee. For more information or to register, contact Sandy Walker at 765-3131 or sandy@region10. net. Participants may also register at www.region10.net/powerfultools.

MARCH 21 Time Bank of the Rockies presentation For every hour you spend providing support to another Time Bank member you earn a time credit to be used to receive a service from another. Learn more at this presentation from 5:307:30 p.m. Bring your laptop. For details about the next meeting and to register, call 209-6886. ■

Elder abuse: Would you know it if you saw it?

By Eva Veitch

I

n an effort to increase awareness and prevent elder abuse, Region 10 Community Living Services and our regional partners have begun a fourmonth campaign to inform and educate our six-county region.

In the coming months, the public will have access to educational opportunities, public service announcements, articles and brochures describing the different forms of elder abuse and introducing you to real people who have been victimized.

This campaign will inform you of the signs of elder abuse and neglect, how to report it and what you can do to prevent it.

Here are 12 things you can do to prevent elder abuse: 1. Learn the signs of elder abuse and neglect.

2. Call or visit aging friends and neighbors.

3. Provide caregivers a respite.

4. Ask your bank manager to train tellers on how to detect financial abuse.

5. Ask your doctor to ask all elder patients if they feel safe.

6. Contact your local Adult Protective Services or Long-term Care Ombudsman to learn how to support their work.

7. Organize a “Respect Your Elders” essay or poster contest in your child’s school.

8. Ask your religious leaders to give a talk about elder abuse or include public service messages in the newsletter.

9. Volunteer to be a friendly visitor to a nursing home or homebound neighbor.

10. Send a letter to your local media suggesting they cover World Elder Abuse Awareness Day (June 15).

11. Dedicate a walkathon or other event for elder abuse awareness and prevention, or start your own social media campaign.

12. Join this effort and help us get the word out.

For more information, call Region 10 Community Living Services at 765-3125.

Service Times Celebration Service 10:00 am Sunday Family Night 6:30 pm Wednesday

Where Passion for God and Compassion for People meet….

515 S. Hillcrest Dr. Montrose, CO 81401 970-249-4319

18

MONTROSE/DELTA COUNTIES

$1.99 • • • •

2 pancakes 1 French toast Biscuit with jam Cheese quesadilla with salsa

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VALUE MENU

$3.99 • • • • • •

Biscuits and gravy 1 pancake, 1 sausage patty & 2 eggs Oatmeal Blueberry pancakes Pie & ice cream Chocolate chip pancakes

$5.99 • • • • • • • • •

Biscuit & gravy, 2 eggs & hashbrowns 2 pancakes, bacon or sausage patty & 2 eggs Sausage, 2 eggs, toast & hashbrowns Biscuit supreme Strawberry pancakes Berry pancakes Banana nut pancakes Small french dip with side Small cheeseburger with fries & soda

Open 6am-2pm MONTROSE 1320 Townsend

249-7787 DELTA 204 Ute St.

874-7288

MARCH 1 & 4 Snowshoe at Black Canyon of the Gunnison Take a snowshoe trek at Black Canyon of the Gunnison National Park. Meet at the South Rim Visitor Center for a two-hour, 1.5-mile walk. Snowshoes are available to use, free of charge, and no special skill is needed to participate.

The program begins at 10 a.m. on Saturday and 1 p.m. on Wednesday.

Reservations are required. Call 2491914, ext. 423 to make yours.

MARCH 13 & 20 Why there is no such thing as a simple will Learn the basics about will and trust estate plans and common issues. The attorneys at The Law Office of Brown & Brown, PC, will discuss the difference between probate and non-probate assets and how they are affected by your will, and how to incorporate powers of attorney into your estate plan to ensure your wishes are followed. This free presentation takes place from 4:305:30 p.m. at Region 10 in Montrose on March 13 and Grand Mesa Oncology in Delta on March 20. Registration required by calling 243-8250 or visiting www.brownandbrownpc.com.

MARCH 16 The Unknown Stories of Montrose Join the Mesa County Historical Society and the Museums of Western Colorado for an oral history program titled, “The Unknown Stories of Montrose: Legends and True Tales,” presented by Montrose County Historical Museum Coordinator Sally Johnson. This free presentation takes place from noon to 1 p.m. at the Whitman Education Center, 248 S. Fourth St. in Grand Junction. Feel free to bring a lunch. Coffee will be served.

For details, call Priscilla at 260-5226.

MARCH 17-19 Cabin Fever Quilt Show Held at the Delta County Fairgrounds, this event showcases the work of amazing fabric artists. Vote for your

MARCH 2017

favorite quilt, purchase quilted items, watch demonstrations and more. Kids are welcome. The show runs 9 a.m.-5 p.m. on Friday and Saturday, and 11 a.m.-4 p.m. on Sunday.

Eckert Crane Days Catch one of nature’s announcements of spring. Visit Fruitgrower’s Reservoir in Orchard City to watch the lift-off and landing of hundreds of Sandhill Cranes as they make their way north for the season. Presentations and food will surround the event. For more information, visit www.eckertcranedays.com.

MARCH 18 Meditation retreat Enjoy a one-day meditation retreat at the Benedictine Retreat Center, 8250 Kannah Creek Road in Whitewater, from 8:30 a.m.-4 p.m. No meditation experience is necessary and all are welcome. Space is limited to 15 people and advance registration is required. Registration is $75 per person and includes lunch. Register at www.cslgrandjunc tion.org/classes or in person at the Center for Spiritual Living.

MARCH 25 “Winter Night Skies” Join Sky Rangers and the Black Canyon Astronomical Society at the Black Canyon of the Gunnison at 7 p.m. to learn more about what is happening in the night sky. The evening starts with a special program followed by night sky viewing. If the weather looks bad, call 249-1914, ext. 423. Be prepared for cold weather and meet at the South Rim Visitor Center.

MARCH 31-APRIL 1 Spring Expo The annual Spring Expo—formerly the Home, Garden and Rec Show—is the only expo in Delta County. More than 1,500 participants will enjoy exhibitors and presentations by vendors. The 2017 show is sponsored by the Delta Area Chamber of Commerce and will be held in the Bill Heddles Recreation Center. ■

MARCH 2017

MONTROSE/DELTA COUNTIES 19

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Clubs & Activities Black Canyon Camera Club meets monthly from 11 a.m. to noon on the second Tuesday at the First Church of God, 1102 Howard St. in Delta. Stay from noon to 1 p.m. for a workshop.

Visit www.blackcanyoncameraclub.org or call 399-3674 for details.

Black Canyon Classics Car Club meets monthly on the first Tuesday.

The club is open to all ages interested in classic cars, street rods, trucks and other vehicles. For meeting time and location, call 249-6051.

Montrose Amateur Radio Club meets monthly at 7 p.m. on the third Friday at the Olathe Community Center. Call 417-6142.

Montrose Women’s Club meets for monthly luncheons at noon on the third Monday, September through May. All Montrose area women are invited to attend. For location and more information, call 275-3336.

Montrose Pavilion Dance Club hosts dances at the Montrose Pavilion from 7:30 p.m.-11 p.m. on the second and fourth Saturdays of the month. Enjoy great music, snacks and refreshments.

Dancers of all ages are welcome. Please bring a snack to share. Cost is $5. Call 252-7172.

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San Juan Dance Club meets at the Lion’s Clubhouse in Montrose from 6:45-8 p.m. every Thursday. Enjoy two hours of fun and free dance. For more information, call Ron at 708-8333.

Western Slope 4 Wheelers meets monthly at 7 p.m. on the first Tuesdays at the Montrose Rod & Gun Club’s indoor range, 1211 6450 Road in Montrose. Call 275-0754.

Wild Bunch 4WD Club meets at Flower Motor in Montrose.

For dates and times, email desertrat27@hotmail.com. ■

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Question

of the

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Month

Where are your ancestors from? ➤ Dennis Lankes “I am Irish, Italian and German. Some would say I’m supposed to be an angry, drunk Catholic.

My grandmother came to America and met my grandfather immediately after she got off the ship.

They married and lived in Buffalo, New York their whole lives.”

Dusty Boyd

➤

“My father’s family came from Scotland and my mother’s family came from Wales and Cornwall, bringing with them the recipe for Cornish pasties, a popular lunch in the underground mines in Cornwall.”

➤ Jason Cleckler “My ancestors are from Germany and England. When they immigrated to the U.S. it probably was good to have both German and English bloodlines, but I’m not sure what brought my ancestors out west.”

MARCH 2017

Montrose/Delta Beacon Bits Fall-reduction class offered Stepping On is an evidence-based seven-week workshop that helps seniors reduce falls and build confidence, sponsored by Delta County Memorial Hospital. The class starts on March 15 and runs through April 26 in the hospital’s oncology building.

Class is from 10:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m. each week. Workshops are led by a registered nurse and physical therapist.

Local experts provide information on exercise, vision, safety and medication.

In addition, participants learn exercises to help them improve balance and strength. For questions about whether this workshop is right for you, call Lisa Waddington at 874-2425.

Local hospitals ranked top for second consecutive year A new report ranks both Montrose Memorial Hospital and Delta County Memorial Hospital in the Top 100 Rural and Community Hospitals for the second year in a row. The report is issued

by The National Rural Health Association’s Rural Health Policy Institute, iVantage Health Analytics and The Chartis Center for Rural Health. According to the report, top performing hospitals excel in managing risk, achieving higher quality, securing better outcomes, increasing patient satisfaction and operating at a lower cost than their peers.

The hospitals are working together in various ways to improve care for the region with shared efforts in the San Juan Accountable Care Organization, producing a joint Community Health Needs Assessment to report on health activity and opportunities in the region, and working together ensure patient access to the best health care.

Top Honors for Delta County Memorial Hospital CEO Jason Cleckler, CEO of Delta County Memorial Hospital, was recently recognized as one of the “Top 60 Rural Hospital CEOs to Know” in the country

by Becker’s Hospital Review, which will feature Cleckler and other top rural hospital CEOs in its March issue. The 60 CEOs on the 2017 list possess extensive experience in health care management, demonstrating their commitment to

offering high-quality, accessible care to rural populations. Under the CEOs’ leadership, many of their institutions have earned recognition as top-performing rural hospitals in the nation.

Volunteer opportunities • Mothers of Preschoolers is seeking some special volunteers to rock babies, play, sing and spoil little ones for two mornings a month. This gives their mamas time to refuel and to be encouraged. Contact Maria at 509619-3062 or MontroseMOPS@gmail. com if you can help support this vital ministry to young moms.

•Volunteer drivers needed to deliver meals to low-income and frail seniors.

Drivers are background checked and need to provide references. Contact Betty Hayes at 249-8804.

Square dancing with Delta Hubwheelers The Delta Hubwheelers Square Dance Club hosts a dance from 7-9 p.m. on March 4 in the cafeteria at Delta’s Garnet Mesa Elementary School. (Watch for the reflective signs at the intersection of A and 6th streets, guiding you to the parking area to access the cafeteria.) Another dance takes place from 7-9 p.m. on March 18 in the Aerobics Room at the Bill Heddles Recreation Center. Dances are Mainstream with Plus tips. Round dances are to recordings. Bring refreshments to share at intermission. For more information, call 856-4187 or 773-4495.

Concerts at Healthy Rhythm Community Art Gallery Concerts take place at the Healthy Rhythm Community Art Gallery from 7-10 p.m. Seating is limited, but general admission and VIP tickets are available.

A VIP purchase includes admission to a private after-show meet and greet with the musician. Advance ticket purchase is recommended. Call 323-270-6284 or visit www.healthyrhythm.net to learn more.

• March 4 – Lizzy Ficco • March 18 – A Little Chaos • March 31 – Nathan McEuen (7-10:30 p.m.)

MARCH 2017

www.BeaconSeniorNews.com

Write On! Contest & Anthology 2017 marks the 10th year anniversary of the Write On! Contest and Anthology. In recognition, The Blue Sage Center for the Arts, in partnership with the Delta County Libraries, have renamed and expanded the contest. Now known as “Convergence: Words and Pictures from the West Elks,” this annual competition is open to residents of Delta County and will include photographs as well as fiction, essays and poems. The winners will be published in an anthology that will be included in the Library of Congress for the first time. The competition culminates in the popular Convergence Reading event, where the published book is unveiled, top-scoring writers read their winning entries, and the winning photos exhibited.

The 2017 reading/exhibition is scheduled for Cherry Days Festival in July, the actual date to be announced.

For submission rules and entry, visit www.bluesage.org.

Al-Anon Groups • Delta Al-Anon meets at 7:30 p.m.

Tuesdays at St. Luke’s Episcopal Church, 145 W. Fifth St. Contact Elizabeth at 874-9832 or Shirley at 323-5067.

MONTROSE/DELTA COUNTIES 21

• Cedaredge Al-Anon meets at 8 p.m. Thursdays at Wick Hall behind First Baptist Church, 370 W. Main St. Contact Vicki at 589-9290 or Mary at 856-6123.

• Hotchkiss Al-Anon meets at 6:30 p.m. Mondays at the Methodist Church, 285 N. Second. Contact Elsie at 210-8090 or Marjorie at 433-1856.

• Paonia Al-Anon meets at 7 p.m.

Wednesdays at United Methodist Church. Contact Kay at 589-2134 or Lisa at 395-3608 or Chris at 527-3366.

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• Montrose Al-Anon meets at noon Thursdays at First Presbyterian Church, 1840 E. Niagara. Contact Lucy at 596-9919.

• Montrose Al-Anon and Ala-Teen meets at 7 p.m. Mondays at First Presbyterian Church, 1840 E. Niagara. Contact Karis at 275-4107 or Lisa Marie at 964-8849.

• Montrose Al-Anon for Women meets at 3:30 p.m. Sundays at All Saints Anglican Church, 2057 S. Townsend Ave. Contact Peggy at 964-4970. ■

Colorow Care Center receives Customer Experience Award Colorow Care Center, an Olathe-based provider of rehabilitation and skilled nursing, is the recipient of Pinnacle Quality Insight’s 2017 Customer Experience Award. The center qualified for the award in the categories of: activities, quality of food, dining service, cleanliness, overall satisfaction, nursing care, professional therapy service, individual needs, communication from facility, dignity and respect and recommend to others. Colorow displays a continued dedication to providing Best in Class senior health care services, placing a strong emphasis on ensuring that the individual needs of every resident are met.

By qualifying for the Pinnacle Customer Experience Award™, Colorow has satisfied the rigorous demand of scoring in the top 15 percent of the nation across a 12-month average.

Sorry We Will Be Closing

Denny’s Closing for building renovations March 2rd - March 10th.

Reopening March 11th!

Come down to see how I have improved!!

1515 Venture Way, Montrose, CO 81401 970-249-0315

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READY FOR SOME GOOD CLEAN FUN! Join us at Montrose Elks Bingo: Tuesday night, 6:30 p.m., 801 South Hillcrest, Elks Lodge. $10 Main Bingo Pack (8 Games). Includes 5 Bingo Games + 3 Progressives. New Games Manager.

writers wanted The Beacon Senior newspaper is looking for writers in Mesa, Delta and Montrose counties.

Send your letter and resume to beacon@pendantpublishing.com

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2006 Chevy Corvette: Daytona Orange metallic color, two tops (1 hard & 1 glass), 2,531 miles. 2011 ESV Escalade: Anniversary edition, fully loaded, 50,000 miles. $40,000 each OBO. 970-640-8752

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VENDORS WANTED A Robin’s Nest is looking for antique and collectible vendors. This is a great time to earn extra income from your hobby.

Space is limited. Stop by 602 Main St. Grand Junction, for an application to join our family of over 90 vendors.

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TRAVEL $AVE MONEY ON TRAVEL! Travel Club membership offering discount cruises, travel packages, and decreased condo rates. Checkout www. coconutclubvacations.com. Member # cc1546ue, password #1115. Travel agents at 855-259-1155. Call Susan at 970-462-1115 before booking a trip so I can call the organization with pre-approval. Free to BEACON readers to use this membership.

MARCH 2017

KUDOS & KVETCH 23

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kudos \ ku·dos  “I love the BEACON. I enjoy the jokes and ‘Ask the Old Bag’—I read them first. Keep up the good work.”

- Lewis A.

A funny thing happened on the way to the forms

By Bill Levine

 “Melanie, congratulations on all your awards I saw in the January BEACON. You are a delightful writer and the awards were well deserved.

Your story on Cuba (January 2017) was wonderful.”

- Julie H.

 “Glad to know the BEACON in Delta and Montrose is growing! We love the paper!”

- Guy and Lynn B.

N

othing is certain except death and taxes, and certainly nothing is as boring as taxes. We know this because there is no TV show featuring a forensic accountant, in which the telegenic hero ferrets out the creepy tax cheats among the usual suspects of cabinet members and congressmen.

But as a tax pro at a retail firm, I have found that every line in the 1040 is the catalyst for a mini-series.

If you don’t agree, I will refund your time spent reading this.

Filing status (line 4) Wanna give a shout out?

Pass out a compliment?

Write us at:

Beacon@PendantPublishing.com

FUN & GAMES Game answers from page 16

Just like your Facebook status, your 1040 filing status can be fraught with drama. A young, newly married client came in hell-bent to file separately. When I said that filing jointly was preferable, he balked. According to him, everything he and his wife had was separate—separate savings, separate checkbooks, separate investments. I could extrapolate from this their existences in parallel universes.

At any rate, he finally agreed to filing jointly when I showed him that his family income would be taxed at a higher rate if they filed separately.

He said he would come back, but I haven’t seen him since. Perhaps he and his wife are now on separate vacations.

Gambling (other income line 21)

One client had $100,000 in gambling winnings, but was also unlucky enough to itemize $30,000 in gambling losses. This woman was a gifted amateur, as you cannot possibly be a professional slot machine player.

But there are professional gamblers—taxpayers who make a concerted effort to make a profit against the odds. They can attempt then to deduct expenses on a Schedule C sole proprietor, as follows: 1. Disguises for getting back into casinos after banishment for card counting

2. Brooms for sweeping up losing scratch tickets, etc.

3. Depreciating the bad luck from mirror breaking over a seven-year, double-declining balance method 4. Visits to psychics 5. Cruises to Bermuda (with an affidavit that you were in the casino the entire trip)

Exemptions (line 42) The IRS does, in fact, allow a slacker deduction. A young woman came in and wanted to claim her boyfriend as an exemption. This lowers the taxable income by $4,000 so I had to question this claim. It turned out to be legitimate. The boyfriend was an aspiring screenwriter who had no income and was supported by the client. This may not be a good social-economic policy for lazy basement dwellers, but they can always argue that they are providing loved ones with tax advantages.

Earned Income Credit (line 66) I became suspicious of the claim for an extra dependent of an Earned Income Credit client. A “nephew” was thrown out as a lucrative EIC dependent living with the taxpayer’s family and supported as such. The only problem was that though they could name him, the family could not come up with the youngster’s birthday. They were able to zero in on the year, but were hazy on the month and day.

I tried to help them.

“What is his sign?

When was his birthday party? Think hard about the 100 or so forms you presumably filled out for this so-called dependent—what was the birth date entered?”

Not surprisingly, this kid was not included as an EIC dependent.

Refund On some level all clients are just looking for a wizard-like makeover of their return. They think that the preparer is a master attic rummager who will be industrious enough to find a lost Van Gogh, when he is more likely to find a missing case of Go-gurt.

In a client’s perfect world these would be valid deduction assertions: • Mercury in retrograde destroyed my seventh house, so I am claiming a casualty loss • My 30-year-old kid acts like a child so I am claiming him as a dependent • I want to claim 800 dependent children who I support via the Save The Children Fund for 25 cents a day • My kid said our trip to Disney World over the summer is a business expense because he needs to maintain his standing in show-and-tell There is often huge disappointment (and some anger) in the eyes of clients getting a smaller-than-expected refund—or worse, owing taxes.

I’m sure that they are thinking that a monkey could key into TurboTax and generate a bigger refund. We all have goals. You may want to walk like an Egyptian, be like Mike, or dress for success, but most of all, everyone wants to file like a billionaire and pay no taxes. ■

Region 10 Community Living Services and our Community Partners are committed to educating the public about Elder Abuse and Exploitation. Look for articles and educational seminars in the coming months.

• 10% of older adults are abused or exploited (over 5 million people each year in the United States).

• Elder abuse refers to any knowing, intentional, or negligent act by a caregiver or any other person that causes harm or risk of harm to a vulnerable adult.

• Abuse is an attempt to control the behavior of another person. It is a misuse of power which uses the bonds of intimacy, trust and dependency to make the victim vulnerable.

• Financial exploitation occurs when the offender steals, withholds, or otherwise misuses their victim's money, property, or valuables for personal advantage or profit, to the disadvantage of the elder.

• Legislatures in all 50 states have passed some form of elder abuse prevention laws.

ELDERLY ABUSE PREVENTION PARTNERS:

ADRC Serving Delta, Gunnison, Hinsdale, Montrose, Ouray, & San Miguel Counties

(970) 249-2436 • 1-855-500-6050 Region 10 • 300 N. Cascade Ave., Ste. 1 • Montrose, CO 81401 eveitch@region10.net • www.region10.net • Fax 970-249-2488