BEACON - Delta-Montrose - May 2015

MAY 2015

Vol. 29

No. 5

Montrose & Delta Counties’ Monthly Newspaper for Adults 50+. Over 12,023 Readers.

Montrose County Delta County Summer Health & Wellness Your health and wellness are sure to get a boost after reading this month’s insert.

See inside.

Summer reading Libraries in Delta and Montrose have a great selection of activities and reading programs this summer. Page 6.

Help Mom get organized this Mother’s Day Show your love by helping her get her financial and legal paperwork in order.

Page 8.

WRITERS & PHOTOGRAPHERS WANTED Are you a writer e an eye for photography? or photographer? as we continue growing in Then the BEACON needs your help counties!

Montrose Delta Thenandthe BEACON is looking for The BEACON Senior Newspaper needs your help as s in pher ogra phot and rs write freelance counties. trose Mon and Delta we continue growto Email your cover letter and resume ing in Delta and Cloie@PendantPublishing.com some samples of your work, Montrose Please include counties. if applicable.

Page 3.

No phone calls, please.

Do you like writing? Do you hav

Photo by Bryan Cashion

2

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MAY 2015

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MAY 2015

I bought my mother-in-law a cemetery plot

By Kevin K. VanGundy

L

ast year, I bought my mother-inlaw a cemetery plot as a birthday gift. This year, I didn’t buy her anything. When she asked me why I hadn’t gotten her a gift this year, I replied, “Well, you still haven’t used the gift that I bought you last year.”

Actually, I get along quite well with my mother-in-law and in that regard I’d like to wish her, Ann, and my own mother, Genevra, a very happy Mother’s Day! Please be kind to your mother and if you’d like, we’ll send her a free issue of the BEACON Senior Newspaper. Just call our office and give us her name and address.

Speaking of cemeteries, don’t forget to honor America’s fallen soldiers at the end of this month on Memorial Day, May 25. It’s also a good time to

lay down fresh flowers at the resting place of family and friends. Try to take your grandchildren with you, as this seems to be a dying tradition.

Summer travel Are you going anywhere this summer? Did you visit any place exciting last year? In June, the BEACON will present you with a myriad of suggestions on places to go and things to do. What we’d really like to know from you is what to include and what not to include. Please send your suggestions and/or travel photos to:

Montrose-Delta BEACON is hiring

N

ow here’s an unexpected headline: “Montrose-Delta BEACON is hiring!”

Times have been lean lately in Montrose and downright mean in Delta. And the newspaper business has been particularly hard hit, but not ours.

The BEACON Senior Newspaper has experienced double-digit growth each of the last seven years. And now that the Montrose-Delta BEACON has split off from the Mesa County issue, that growth has quickened. But we could use your help.

Specifically, the Montrose-Delta BEACON Senior Newspaper is looking to hire: • Writers – Do you like meeting new

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Beacon@PendantPublishing.com or BEACON Senior Newspaper PO Box 3895 Grand Junction, CO 81502

people? Do you like hearing their stories? As a freelance writer, you write when you can and practically follow your own schedule.

• Photographers – Do you like capturing moments? Do you have an eye for photography? Showcase your work by being a freelance photographer for the BEACON. • Salesperson – Working part-time from your own home, you will call upon local businesses that are interested in advertising to our booming local senior market. Training, materials and ongoing support are provided.

If interested, please send a cover letter and your resume to: Beacon@PendantPublishing.com

WRITERS, PHOTOGRAPHERS & Sales People WANTED blishing.com email: beacon@pendantpu

EDITORIAL 3

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4 COVER STORY

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Gardens grow community

Upcoming events at the Botanic Gardens May 9 2nd Annual Garden Affair 9 a.m.-1 p.m.

Plants (perennials, annual flowers and vegetables), garden decorations and ornaments will be for sale at the Montrose Botanic Gardens. Plein-air artists will have paintings for sale and there will be a silent auction. For more information, call 596-0564.

June 13 Garden Tour 9 a.m.-2 p.m.

Five Montrose homes will open their garden landscapes for unguided viewing. There will be live music and plein-air artists at various sites. Tour the various gardens on your own, beginning at the Montrose Botanic Gardens, where you will be given a map when you purchase tickets. For more information, call 249-1115.

July 1

MAY 2015

By Liesl Greathouse For people who love being outside and for those who love working in the dirt, the Montrose Botanic Gardens provides a place for people to enjoy nature and learn more about it.

The gardens, located behind the Montrose Pavilion at 1800 Pavilion Drive, are an inspiration and a valuable education tool for area residents.

The gardens enhance the local landscape and demonstrate how various plants use water to survive.

Interpretive signs explain how to participate in water-wise gardening practices.

“It’s an interesting place for visitors to enjoy the variety of vegetation grown in the high desert,” the gardens’ vice president and publicity chair Carol Pyle, 69, said. “It’s also a place for peaceful relaxation and strolling.”

The gardens are available for public enjoyment 24/7. There is no entry fee. The gate to the gardens is frequently closed to keep deer from grazing on the plants, but it’s not locked.

Pyle said the gardens showcase an annual entry garden and promenade, with perennials lined with spring snow crabapples. There’s a rock garden, cactus garden, native garden and more.

“Our new garden in progress is a crevice garden, and a variety of grasses for turf and ornamental use,” Pyle said.

The Montrose Botanic Society, formed in 1995, was a result of a vision of Jim Chaplin. The idea for the gardens was approved and supported by the City of Montrose and spearheaded by the Montrose Rotary Club.

This group eventually acquired a 50year lease with the City for 3.5 acres of an alfalfa field immediately south of the Montrose Pavilion.

“Through educational programs, demonstrations and signage in the gardens, there are opportunities to educate the youth, the elderly, the home gardener and the regional visitor to the rich natural garden that abounds around us,” Pyle said. “The gardens demonstrate the importance of water to

the Uncompahgre Valley and how through proper plant selection and design, this natural resource can be efficiently used.”

The gardens also feature a variety of events throughout the seasons.

The Garden Affair takes place 9 a.m.1 p.m. on May 9, and will feature plants, art and garden decor for sale.

Plein-air artists will have paintings for sale and there will be a silent auction.

The Garden Tour takes place 9 a.m.-2 p.m. June 13. Attendees will get to visit five private gardens that are open for viewing with music and plein-air artists at various sites.

Even when snow covers the flowers, the gardens still host some fun events. The Garden of Lights is always a favorite for young and old every December. The gardens are decorated in brilliant lights, and there will be horse-drawn hayrides, snacks, Santa and music.

These events also provide many opportunities for residents to get involved.

“From April to October the Weed Warriors weed, dead head, plant, fertilize and separate plants, and do various other tasks to keep the gardens beautiful,” Pyle said. “There are also opportunities to volunteer where you don’t have to be working in the dirt or on your knees.”

Garden Affair volunteers do everything from picking up plants and watering, to cashiering, to overseeing the silent auction. Volunteers

Sun and planets and how they affect your garden 3:30 p.m.-4:30 p.m.

Bryan Cashion, president of the Black Canyon Astronomy Club and garden enthusiast, will present information relating to gardening and will have a safe sun-viewing telescope at the gardens for use. For more information, call 249-1115.

Photo by Clay Greathouse

You don’t have to work in the dirt or be on your knees to volunteer at the gardens. Many opportunities abound.

MAY 2015

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COVER STORY 5

National & Regional Award-Winning Publication

Educational programs, demonstrations and signage educate visitors about the plants in the gardens and water-wise gardening practices. will also be needed to help with the Garden Tour, the members’ picnic and Christmas party. The end-of-season Garden of Lights provides many tasks for volunteers, such as helping with horse-drawn hayrides and serving hot chocolate, as well as setup and decorations.

Pyle said volunteering with the botanic society offers great opportunities for socialization and camaraderie while working in the gardens, at meetings, workshops and special events.

“We have new events during the summer months that are focused on children and teens,” she said. “The gardens’ more mature folks thoroughly enjoy working at those events and interacting with the younger generations.”

President and Horticulture Chair Sara Ungrodt said people who enjoy the gardens can also help by spreading the word, and volunteering to place posters around town about upcoming lectures and events.

“Of course, helping the gardens financially is always needed,” Ungrodt, 57, said. “The sustainability of the gardens is solely dependent on the community’s support and the grants that we apply for as a result of that

support. Every dollar goes a long way in the gardens.”

Ungrodt added that the gardens’ funding comes entirely from membership, events, grants and donations.

“Many folks have shared with us that they think of us as a City-funded and maintained park,” she said. “This is not the case. Our growth is dependent on the support of the members of our community.”

An immediate goal for the society is to continue the development of the Valley Garden, which is located directly east of the existing developed garden.

“The Valley Garden will reflect the agricultural history of the Uncompahgre Valley of Western Colorado through the use of old varieties of grasses, shrubs and perennials that have adapted well to our semi-arid climate,” Pyle said.

Ungrodt said there will also be a turf area surrounded by small sub-gardens, such as a sensory garden, rose garden, lilac area and ‘waves of grasses,’ which will be irrigated with a new Netafim drip system.

“A narrow, open water canal feature, representing the Gunnison Tunnel

and canal system, will also meander through the area,” Ungrodt said. “We are so fortunate to have one of the seven regional botanic gardens that provides education, research and enjoyment for all of us here in Montrose and the surrounding area. This is reason to celebrate!” ■

For more information about the gardens or the Montrose Botanic Society, call 249-1115 or visit www.montrosegardens.org

Publisher ........................ Kevin K. VanGundy Founding Publisher................... Susan Capps Editor........................................ Cloie Sandlin Graphic Designer.................. Melissa Trottier Production................................ Karen Jones Office Manager......................Sherry Harmon Account Representative...............Sue Bowen Account Representative............Sidney Jayne Account Representative.................Dave Hoyt Proofreader................................. Jan Weeks Cheerleader..............................Genevra Shal Delivery............................. Lauren VanGundy Delivery .............................. Olivia VanGundy Delta-Montrose Bureau Assistant Editor...................Liesl Greathouse Account Representative.......... Virginia Carlile Delivery..........................................JR Milner P.O. Box 3895, Grand Junction, CO 81502 970.24 3.8 82 9  800.536.7516 fax Website: www.BeaconSeniorNews.com E-mail: Beacon@ PendantPublishing.com The BEACON is published at the beginning of the month.

Our goal is to inform and inspire the 50+ community in Delta and Montrose Counties.

Publication of advertising does not necessarily constitute endorsement. Columns are opinions of the writers, not necessarily the opinion of the publisher. Display advertising rates are available upon request. Deadline for advertising and announcements is the 20th of the month preceding publication. © Copyright 2015 • All Rights Reserved

Cover Photo Weed Warrior volunteers pose in front of the gate to the Montrose Botanic Gardens with their personalized buckets, which they were awarded for four years of volunteering.

6 FEATURE STORY

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MAY 2015

Get ready for summer reading programs

By Liesl Greathouse Summertime in Western Colorado gets most people out of the house and enjoying the outdoors. But no matter what you’re doing, it never hurts to have a good book on hand.

Libraries in Delta County and Montrose County have a great selection of activities and adult summer reading programs to help make summer reading for all ages even more fun.

The summer reading program at the Montrose Regional Library takes place June 1 to August 7, and is all about superheroes.

“I don’t always follow the national theme, but this year all of us at the library are having fun with it,” Volunteer and Adult Programs Manager Meg Nagel said.

Nagel refers to the national theme chosen by the Collaborative Summer Library Program, an organization comprised of library workers and administrators from different states

working to provide quality summer reading program materials to libraries and their patrons.

Following suit with the CSLP themes, activities for each age group are centered on more specific themes. The children’s program theme is “Every Hero Has a Story,” the teen program theme is “Unmask” and the adult program theme is “Escape the Ordinary.”

Patrons can sign up for the program free of charge and can pick up their reading forms at the Montrose Regional Library, 320 S. Second St. For each book

read, participants fill out a form and write a short review of the book, which can be as long as one line or a whole essay. The form acts as a ticket, which is entered into a bi-weekly drawing for Montrose Bucks, which can be used at many local stores. For every drawing, the prize amount increases by $10, culminating at $50 by the end of the program.

To accompany the program, a schedule of special activities for children, teens and adults will be available mid May. Such activities include a visit from local su-

perheroes Sgt. Keith Sanders with the Montrose County Sheriff’s Office, and Oxx the police dog on July 15.

On July 23, individuals and families can dress up as superheroes or use props, and have their photos taken in front of a green screen. There will also be a Storytelling Festival with local storytellers telling tales about heroes, both real and fantastic.

Nagel said a primary goal for this year’s program is to appeal to readers of all ages.

“Summer reading is mostly for children because kids who don’t read over the summer lose some of their ability,” Nagel said. “One goal of adult summer reading is to encourage adults to model their enjoyment of reading, letting kids see that reading is fun. Studies show that if parents simply read for pleasure at home on their own, their children are more likely to enjoy reading, too.”

Patrons aren’t the only ones invited to join the fun. Nagel enjoys the program, as it gives her and other library staff members the chance to bring

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MAY 2015

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“One goal of adult summer reading is to encourage adults to model their enjoyment of reading, letting kids see that reading is fun.” the theme to life.

“We are forming the ‘League of Extraordinary Librarians,’ which is our superhero team,” Nagel said. “We are getting a logo for it and then each of us is creating a costume using the logo.”

Last year, the program had a science theme.

“I got to wear a lab coat and pretend my name was Sarah Tonin,” Nagel said.

For more information about summer reading programs, visit the Montrose Regional Library at 320 S. Second St. in Montrose or call 249-9656.

Delta Library Summer Reading The adult summer reading program at Delta County libraries takes place May 23 through July 24.

“This year, we will be giving away prize books, audiobooks and lots of surprise goodies,” the libraries’ systems and PR manager Leah Morris said.

It’s easy to get involved and it costs

nothing to participate. Each library branch provides free programming in conjunction with summer reading, so participants can learn new skills, meet people, make crafts and discuss books. The Paonia Library even offers free outdoor music concerts on Tuesday nights in June and July.

“Many adults already enjoy reading and visiting the library, so being part of the program requires very little extra effort,” Morris said.

The summer reading programs are only a small part of the libraries’ mission to make a difference in the community by meeting the needs of the people who live in Delta County.

“Whether that means offering a computer class at a convenient time, finding a great incentive to keep a student reading, having the right book available for a patron, or just offering a friendly smile to a visitor, we try very hard to reach out to our residents,” Morris said. “It’s also just wonderful to be able to offer something for our patrons to enjoy all summer long.” ■

For more information about the Montrose Summer Reading Program, visit the Montrose Library at 320 S. Second St. in Montrose or call 249-9656.

To sign up for the summer reading program in Delta, stop by a Delta County library branch or visit www.deltalibraries.org. The main library is located at 149 E. Main St. in Hotchkiss.

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8 FINANCE

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Help Mom get organized for Mother’s Day

offers our deep appreciation to everyone who made the 2nd annual

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M

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MAY 2015

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other’s Day is May 10. If you’re wracking your brain for ways to show your mom appreciation for all the sacrifices she made while raising you, here’s a thought: Why not offer to spend some time helping to sort through her financial, legal and medical paperwork to make sure everything is in order?

Some of the areas you might want to organize include: Retirement income sources.

Gather these documents so your mom will have a better idea how much income she’ll have available throughout retirement: • Register your mom at mySocialSecurity (www.socialsecurity.gov/ myaccount) to gain access to personalized estimates of retirement, disability and survivors benefits, lifetime earnings records and estimated Social Security and Medicare taxes paid.

• You’ll also need your dad’s statement to determine any potential spousal or survivor benefits for which she might be eligible.

• Annual statements for pension, IRA, 401(k) or other retirement savings plans for which she’s eligible.

(Check your dad’s statements, too, in case she’s eligible for spousal death benefits.)

• Bank statements for checking, savings, money market and CD accounts.

• Company stock and bond certificates, and statements for other investment accounts.

Outstanding debts. Gather monthly statements and outstanding balances owed for major expenses, including home mortgage or other property loans, home equity loan or line of credit, car loan or lease, credit cards, medical bills and personal loans.

Other important documents.

Your mom should have documents

instructing how she’d like her affairs to be handled, both while she’s living and after death. Look for: • Medical, homeowner/renter, auto, life, disability and long-term care insurance policies.

• A will (and possibly a trust) outlining how she wants her estate managed after death.

• Durable power of attorney and health care proxy specifying who will make her financial and medical decisions if she becomes incapacitated.

• Also, a living will tells doctors which medical treatments and lifesupport procedures she does or doesn’t want performed.

• Birth certificate, marriage license, Social Security card, funeral plans, safe deposit box information, etc.

• Contact information for doctors, pharmacy, lawyer, financial advisor, bank, insurance companies, etc. Give these providers your own contact information in case of emergencies.

Review these documents regularly and make updates whenever her situation changes to reflect her current wishes. If you need help guiding financial discussions, Social Security has created a special website for women (www.ssa.gov/women) that provides information on retirement, disability and other issues. They also have a Retirement Estimator (www. ssa.gov/estimator) that enters her earnings information from their records to estimate her projected Social Security benefits under different scenarios.

Download the free book “What Women Need to Know About Retirement” at www.practicalmoneyskills. com/resources. To find a financial planner, try the Financial Planning Association (www.plannersearch. org). ■

MAY 2015

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Ask the Old Bag Advice Column for the Over 50 Crowd

By Gayle LagmanCreswick

Dear Old Bag: From time to time, I read about well-meaning children in your column, who are worried about their parents living alone, falling, getting scammed, etc. They all think their parents should move into a supportive community of some kind. That might be good for some, but not everyone. Some of us would like to stay where we are.

It is true we might fall. We might not eat right. We are at risk for getting scammed. We might have a breakin and even get injured or killed. My logic tells me that can happen to anyone at any age, right? I like to think that I have earned the right to age in the way I choose. Manage my money if you want. Bring me goodies to eat. Visit me. Don’t nag at me to move. Just love me where I choose to be. In the words of Frank Sinatra, “I Did it My Way.” Signed, Dad Dear Dad: You said it so well.

Thanks for writing. Note the letter below. OB Dear Old Bag: My husband died three years ago. I think I got through his death in a healthy way.

For the last six months, I have been looking at retirement and assisted living communities—not because I need it, but because it makes sense to me. I am 81 years old and lonely.

Pretty soon I may not be able to drive. One never knows when your health could take a turn for the worse. My neighbor had one fall that landed her in a nursing home. I believe I am ready for this change.

The other day, I bounced it off my kids and was totally unprepared for their reaction. They were horrified that I should be thinking of selling the house and moving. They jumped on me and said, “You are not ready for that!” What do I do

now? Signed, Perplexed Dear Perplexed: It sounds as if your kids have not adjusted to your aging. They still think of you as being 50 or 60. If you regularly read my column, you know I am going to tell you to do it your way. I think your kids will come around. Invite them to go with you to look at a couple places.

But please do not let them take control of your decision to do what you want to do. You sound like a forward thinker to me. Good luck! OB Dear Old Bag: I am a 75-yearold widower. I am retired. I go to a local coffee place a couple times a week and read my book as I sip my coffee. Several times I have seen a woman, who looks to be my age, who has coffee at a nearby table. I would like to meet her, but I haven’t the foggiest notion how to do it.

Whenever I think about getting up and going over there, I feel as if my feet are planted in cement. This is the first person I have wanted to meet since my wife died five years ago. Signed, Out of Practice Dear Out of Practice: When faced with that kind of dilemma, I would say to myself: “What is the worst that could happen?” She could throw her coffee in my face.

She could laugh at me. She could say something snotty like, “Mind your own business.” She could get up and leave. Once I have horrified myself with those thoughts, I realize the likelihood of them happening is pretty small, and if it does happen, I can handle it. Then I get my feet out of the cement and do it. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Introduce yourself and ask if she would like to join you for coffee. OB ■

Send your questions to the Old Bag in care of the BEACON, or email lagmancreswick@cox.net.

ASK THE OLD BAG 9

10 LAUGHING MATTERS

Laughing Matters Old maid

Submitted by Bob Breazeale Two women are sitting in a bar getting tipsy and a little snippy.

One woman said to the other, “You’ve gained weight since you got married. Are you letting yourself go?”

The second woman said, “Well, at least I got married. You’re still an old maid and living at home with your mommy and daddy.”

“Well, I’ll have you know that there’s a man just begging me to get married,” the first woman said.

“Yeah,” the second woman said.

“It’s your father.”

The cowboy and the Indian

Submitted by Bob Breazeale An old cowboy is riding along when he sees an Indian lying in the road on his belly with his ear pressed to the ground. The cowboy gets off his horse and does the same thing.

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After a few minutes he gets up and says to the Indian, “I don’t hear anything. What’s going on?”

Without moving, the Indian says, “Many wagons pass this way—lots of horses and cattle.” The cowboy says, “That’s amazing. You can tell all that just by listening to the ground?”

The Indian said, “No, they ran over me an hour ago.”

Senior shorties

Submitted by Ralph Bechel 1) One nice thing about being senile is that you can hide your own Easter eggs and have fun finding them.

2) Frequent naps prevent old age— especially taken while driving.

Entrance to heaven

Submitted by Josephine Gonzales Three ministers and their wives waited at the pearly gates. St. Peter shook his head sadly at the first couple and said, “I can’t let you in.

MAY 2015

You were moral and upright, but you loved money too much. You loved it so much, you even married a woman named Penny.”

St. Peter waved sadly, and poof!

Down the chute they went.

Then came the second couple.

“Sorry, can’t let you in, either,” St. Peter said. “You abstained from liquor and dancing and cards, but you loved food so much, you even married a woman named Candy!”

Down the chute went the second minister and his wife.

The third minister turned to his wife and whispered nervously, “It ain’t looking good, Fanny.”

Cute kids

Submitted by Brenda Hirsch A little girl was diligently pounding away on her father’s word processor.

She told him she was writing a story.

“What’s it about?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” she replied. “I can’t read.”

Funny epitaphs

Submitted by Peter Maxwell

Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, NY: Born 1903. Died 1942. Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down. It was.

In a Thurmont, Maryland cemetery: Here lies an Atheist. All dressed up and no place to go.

In a London, England cemetery: Here lies Ann Mann. Who lived an old maid but died an old Mann. Dec. 8, 1767.

In a Ribbesford, England cemetery: Anna Wallace: The children of Israel wanted bread, and the Lord sent them manna. Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife, and the Devil sent him Anna.

In a Uniontown, Pennsylvania cemetery: Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake. Stepped on the gas instead of the brake.

In a Silver City, Nevada cemetery: Here lays The Kid. We planted him raw. He was quick on the trigger but slow on the draw.

A lawyer’s epitaph in England: Sir John Strange. Here lies an hon-

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MAY 2015 est lawyer, and that is Strange.

John Penny’s epitaph in the Wimborne, England, cemetery: Reader, if cash thou art in want of any, dig 6 feet deep; and thou wilt find a Penny.

In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England: On the 22nd of June, Jonathan Fiddle went out of tune.

Anna Hopewell’s grave in Enosburg Falls, Vermont: Here lies the body of our Anna done to death by a banana. It wasn’t the fruit that laid her low, but the skin of the thing that made her go.

On a grave from the 1880s in Nantucket, Massachusetts: Under the sod and under the trees, lies the body of Jonathan Pease. He is not here, there’s only the pod. Pease shelled out and went to God. A cemetery in England: “Remember man, as you walk by, As you are now, so once was I. As I am now, you soon will be.

Prepare yourself and follow me.”

To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone: “To follow you I’ll not consent until I know which way you went.”

From Boot Hill, in Tombstone, Arizona (This one is also outside Haunted Mansion in Disneyland): Here lies Lester Moore. One slug from a 44. No Les. No More.

Only in American English

Submitted by Alyce Watson The Washington Post published its yearly contest in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings

www.BeaconSeniorNews.com for various words. And the winners are: Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.

Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absent-mindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash.

Flatulence (n.), the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you.

Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.

Pokemon (n), a Jamaican proctologist.

Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.

Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts. ■ Send your funniest jokes to: beacon@pendantpublishing.com

LAUGHING MATTERS 11

Retirement living with the emphasis on living

The Cottages of Hilltop gives you the independence and freedom to make the most of your retirement INDEPENDENT LIVING Our single-level patio homes offer

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CAREFREE LIFESTYLE Enjoy the freedom of maintenance-free

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PEACE OF MIND Each residence includes a 24-hour emergency response system. Plus, we offer a choice of flexible care options and services to meet your changing needs.

Send your jokes to Beacon@pendantpublishing.com or

(970) 434-2111

TheCottagesGJ.org

Visit today for a tour and free lunch

P.O. Box 3895, Grand Junction, CO 81502 L O C A L LY O W N E D A N D O P E R A T E D B Y H I L LT O P - M A K I N G A D I F F E R E N C E F O R P E O P L E O F A L L A G E S

12 TRAVEL

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ESCORTED SUMMER TOURS The Great Smokies: Utah! Idaho! Montana! a great spring getaway Summer Theatre Tour Featuring 6 live musical

MAY 2015

July 31 - August 7 --

--

performances and the majesty of Glacier National Park August 28 - 30 -- Denver

Summer Weekend Tour

Featuring The Book of Mormon, Mary Poppins and Chitty Chitty Bang Bang All Tours fully escorted from Grand Junction

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By Lynn & Glenn Pribus

O

n those late spring days, when the kids are still in school and the dogwoods, redbud and spring flowers are in their glory, the Great Smokies call visitors back to a quieter time.

The byways in Great Smoky Mountain National Park are languid and serene. Within a day’s drive of much of the east coast, it’s no surprise this is the most visited of our national parks, yet at times it can feel as if you are discovering it alone.

Dedicated with the promise of free admission forever, the park is one of only 20 World Heritage Sites in the U.S. There is a remarkable diversity of plants, animals and activities. Start with a visit to Sugarlands Visitor Center, where a movie describes the park and its history and rangers offer recommendations for the dozens of hiking trails.

At over 5,000 feet, Clingman’s Dome is the park’s highest point and views from the observation tower can reach several hundred miles.

There are many trailheads for parking your vehicle and getting out into the forests. Another popular spot is Cades Cove, where visitors can drive their own vehicle, bicycle the one-way loop road or climb aboard a trailer for a narrated hayride.

From art to adventure There are numerous art galleries in the nearby towns. A particularly delightful way to visit many independent artisans at once is via the Great Smoky Art & Crafts Community, an 8-mile loop near Gatlinburg, featuring more than 100 studios and galleries. You’ll find weavers, painters, jewelry makers, woodcarvers and more. Cliff Dwellers, for example, is the studio home for a group of artists that offer frequent demonstrations of their pursuits, such as spinning, yarn dyeing, painting and jewelry making.

From zip lining to “flying” there are many adventures in the area. Zipping at the Smokies in Hartford, Tennessee includes a pair of 600-foot-long “racing” lines as well as rafting on the Upper Pigeon’s Class III and IV rapids. Foxfire Mountain Outdoor Adventure Park in Sevierville also offers a zip-line course, plus traveling the back woods in an 8-wheel-drive vehicle dubbed the Bear Crawler.

Horseback riding, bicycling and fishing are also popular in the area.

Depending on your special interests, you might be drawn to the Tennessee Museum of Aviation with its 50,000 square feet of “Warbirds.”

Gatlinburg’s aquarium is a relaxing way to end the day watching the variety of aquatic life.

A Titanic sighting seems unusual at its inland location in Pigeon Forge, but it’s a truly interesting presentation of this famous tragedy. Personal audio devices add narration as visitors wander through replicas of parts of the ship and numerous authentic artifacts lend poignant authenticity to visitors’ voyage.

Vineyards are replacing tobacco fields in many Tennessee locales and there are several wine tasting venues, such as Eagle Springs Winery in Sevierville and Sugarland Cellars in Gatlinburg. Ole Smoky Moonshine Holler, also in Gatlinburg, offers moonshine tasting in many flavors and also stocks moonshine jelly.

MAY 2015

A Great Place to Call Home!

Entertainment There’s an almost endless menu of music and entertainment in the area.

One of the most popular is the Dixie Stampede, which opens with country music in a music hall with popcorn and non-alcoholic drinks available, then moves patrons into a huge horseshoe-shaped arena, which is home to a variety of acts. My favorite was the tricks performed by at least a dozen handsome horses. The generous dinner is served sans tableware, so it’s a very different experience for the family.

Other popular venues are the Lumberjack Feud and the Smoky Mountain Opry. But the entertainment centerpiece of the region is Dollywood. Dolly Parton is widely revered in the area for her philanthropies, such as the Dollywood Foundation’s Imagination Library, which sends a book a month to children from birth until they enter kindergarten in more than 550 counties in the U.S. Dollywood itself is highly popular, as well as Splash Country Water Park.

There are the roller coasters, including the Wild Eagle, the country’s first “wing” coaster.

If you go Lodging options range from campgrounds to quiet B&Bs to familiar motels. Wilderness at the Smokies in Sevierville is appealing with its indoor and outdoor water parks. The wave pool and water tubes are fun for all ages. Even the great-grandparents in our party zoomed through the tunnel slides. There are several eateries on the premises and rooms have a small fridge, small cook top and microwave if you want to economize by preparing a meal.

Dollywood Vacation Cabins in

TRAVEL 13

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 New & Pre-Owned Homes  Quiet 55+ Adult Community  Resident Club House  Free RV Storage  On-Site Manager

WESTERN SLOPE DENTAL CENTER BRANDON S. BERGUIN D.D.S. AND ASSOCIATES 514 28 Road • Grand Junction, CO 81501

241-3483

GENERAL & COSMETIC DENTISTRY

DENTURES, CROWNS, VENEERS, BRIDGES, FILLINGS, ROOT CANALS, EXTRACTIONS, IMPLANTS • • • • •

Pigeon Forge offer upscale accommodations with as many as eight bedrooms. Located in a quiet area with mountain views, cabin is hardly the right term for these lodgings with fully furnished kitchens, balconies, grills, fireplaces, hot tubs and daily maid service. Packages include special admissions at Dollywood.

Reservations are essential at national park campgrounds.

Gatlinburg’s Pancake Pantry is a popular eatery for breakfast and lunch. In Pigeon Forge and Gatlinburg, the Smoky Mountain Brewery offers beer sampling along with sandwiches, pizza and veggie offerings.

Meals at The Old Mill in Pigeon Forge often include ingredients ground at a nearby historical mill.

For more information, visit www.tnvacation.com, click on Regions, then on East Tennessee. For information on the national park, visit www.nps.gov/grsm. ■

ALL FEES QUOTED BEFORE TREATMENT INSURANCE PLANS ACCEPTED DENTURE REPAIRS & RELINES EMERGENCIES WELCOME NO INTEREST PAYMENT PLANS

Brandon S. Berguin D.D.S. SENIOR DISCOUNTS

MACKINAC ISLAND

May 2 – 9, 2015 8 Days * 10 Meals Highlights… Mackinac Island, Holland Tulip Festival, The Grand Hotel, Chicago, Millennium Park and MUCH – MUCH MORE!!

Get ready for a journey through the coastal regions and farmlands of the Midwest. The tranquil beauty of Mackinac Island and the Great Lakes region is accented by old-fashioned traditions and incredible scenery..

The space for this GREAT tour is limited and the time to make Your Reservation is NOW!!

For Brochure ~ Prices ~ Details call or email Margaret

“THE BOOK OF MORMON” Returning to Denver’s Ellie Caulkins Theater in August 2015…

“The Book of Mormon” is so popular Group Sales have been ongoing since November, 2013.

Full payment for Theater Ticket is required at time of reservations.

Golden Circle Seats ~ $148.50 (includes service fees) Trip Details & Pricing will follow.

Call Margaret to reserve your spot.

Call for information, reservations, and to receive a free newsletter.

Payment plans available...call for details Margaret Krabbe

P.O. Box 2142 • Montrose, CO 81402 Specializing in Escorted Local, National & International Senior Group Travel!

Phone (970)

240-3020

Email: mkrabbe@montrose.net

14

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Alone, but happy on Mother’s Day

By Teresa Ambord

Grand Junction CRYSLER DODGE JEEP RAM

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“Happy Mother’s Day, if you’re a mom,” the smiling woman said.

I looked up from my plate and smiled back. She couldn’t tell I was a mother because in the small restaurant packed with families, I was the only person sitting alone.

“I am,” I told her. “But my son lives pretty far away and he works weekends. So today, I’m on my own.”

I didn’t feel sad about that. It was my first Mother’s Day without Ryan, but he was all grown up and had a life of his own. It was bound to happen sometime.

The woman lingered a moment, making small talk as her big family found a booth and crowded into it.

After a few moments, she wished me a nice day and moved on. I listened as she went to every table in the place, saying “Happy Mother’s Day” to each woman, young or old. Finally, she sat down with her family. I eavesdropped, as they said grace over the meal, and talked among themselves.

They seemed to genuinely like each other.

I’d wanted a big family like that but when Ryan was 2, his father and I divorced and later, his dad passed away so I raised our son alone. I’d learned one cautionary tale from single parents I knew: Always have a plan for holidays. Otherwise it’s easy to lapse into depression. When the kids are really young, they can’t shop to buy you a birthday present.

They can’t make a cake or even buy a cupcake. So many single parents I’ve known dreaded special days. I didn’t want that to happen.

For Ryan and me, money was usually tight so our special plans might have included a trip to the dollar theater and a feast of hot dogs and Cheetos. Or we might take a hike followed by ice cream cones. When Ryan was really young, I’d do what most single parents do. I’d buy something small

MAY 2015

and tell him it was his gift to me.

When he was a little older, he’d save up some money and buy me a gift of some sort.

Later when Ryan was a teenager and full of moods and attitudes, he was broke. So I’d tell him what I really wanted for Mother’s Day was for him to wash my car. He’d roll his eyes and get out the wash bucket.

As I sat there thinking back on those years and listening to the woman and her big family, I felt a little sad to be alone. But overall, I decided life was good. When I’d eaten more than my share of the all-you-can-eat buffet, I realized the busy waiter had not given me a bill. I went to the cash register and told the guy what I’d ordered.

He smiled. “Just one moment,” he said, and he turned his back to me.

When he turned back around he handed me a bill. Instead of a total, it said, “Happy Mother’s Day! The bill was taken care of for you. Have a great day.”

I was stunned, but I knew who had paid for my lunch. I turned towards the woman and her big family to thank them, and in unison they all said, “Happy Mother’s Day!” I managed to thank them well, but I was so choked up that I had to make a hasty exit.

All the way home, I kept that bill where I could see it. It truly warmed my heart. That was years ago, and that bill still hangs on my refrigerator. It’s a daily, cheerful reminder to look outside myself and to look around and see who I can give a kind word, a friendly smile, or who I can bless by picking up the tab for their meal just because.

At nearly 60 years old, with or without Ryan, I still make plans for every holiday. But that Mother’s Day confirmed what I already knew. The real nugget of making a holiday great is in making it joyful for someone else. ■

MAY 2015

www.BeaconSeniorNews.com

How can I garden with alkali soil?

Garden Smarts

HOME & GARDEN 15

GARDEN CHECKLIST  Frogs, lizards, toads, salamanders and snakes eat huge numbers of pests, so draw

them into your garden by providing shelter, such as dry-stacked rock walls, mounds of moist organic mulch, or a pile of cut branches in an out-of-the-way corner. Keep shallow dishes on the ground and keep them filled with fresh water. Avoid harmful pesticides and chemicals.

 Plant colorful annuals and vegetables in containers or directly in the ground after

By Kathy Kimbrough

Q. We recently moved in to a house in a new neighborhood.

The soil has a white substance on it that my friends have said is alkali. I’m from down south and have never seen that before. One neighbor says that I need to dig it all up. Another said just to plant over it. What should I do?

First of all, welcome to the Grand Valley and our unique gardening challenges. Because the valley sits on an ancient seabed, which turned into Mancos shale, we have pockets of land that are very salty. According to the CSU Extension, the “white alkali” in your yard is soluble salts and other minerals. Plants growing on salty soils appear to be water stressed because the high-salt levels hamper plants’ ability to take up water from the soil. For a permanent solution, leach the soil with water and amend it with good-quality organic matter, such as compost, at the rate of 3 to 6 cubic yards per 1,000 square-foot area. Mix thoroughly with existing soil to a depth of at least 6 inches. If leaching and amending your soil is not possible, consider building raised beds to grow vegetables and flowers.

Q. We want to incorporate a more water-wise landscape in our yard but we have a large sycamore tree. How can we make sure the tree stays happy while the rest of the yard uses less water?

There are several things you can do.

First, check your sprinkler system to be sure it’s running efficiently. Inefficient sprinklers waste more water than anywhere else in the yard.

Second, group plants with similar water needs together. Typically, the high water use plants should be placed close to the home while the most xeric plants should be on the outer perimeter of your property.

Third, consider eliminating turf grass in areas that are hard to mow, on steep slopes or in deep shade. Replace with water-wise ground covers.

Your mature sycamore tree has an extensive root system that can access water from all around your yard and will be able to adapt if you replace existing shrubs and perennials with more water-wise plants. Just remember that xeric plants still need to be watered on a regular basis, especially during the first season.

P lant of the Month

Japanese Lilac Tree (Syringa reticulata) If you’re looking for a small flower-

ing tree besides the usual crab apples and hawthorns, it’s time to try a Japanese lilac tree. With a mature height of 20 feet, cold hardiness to 30 degrees below zero, and ability to withstand our alkaline soils, this little gem deserves more attention. Its size is perfectly suited to smaller landscapes and even under some utility lines along the street. Ivory Silk is the most common variety in Colorado. It has the dark green glossy leaves like the common lilac and large creamy white flowers that bloom in mid May and last through most of June. Full sun and regular watering will keep this petite beauty happy and healthy.

Mother’s Day, when there is no chance of freezing temperatures. If you use walls of water, frost blankets or other means of protection, you can plant up to two weeks earlier if desired. Remember that the soil temperature is just as important for plant growth as the air temperature.

 Deadhead daffodils and tulips as needed. Be sure to leave the foliage on until it

turns brown and wilts, as these leaves are feeding the bulb for next year’s flowers.

Q. How can I control squash bugs before they appear in my vegetable garden?

Squash bugs affect cucurbits—cucumbers, melons, pumpkins, summer and winter squash. They typically overwinter around the base of plants in your garden. To reduce the number of those pesky bugs, fall clean up is essential. Remove garden debris and till the soil so there are fewer places for them to spend the winter. In the spring, protect young plants with floating row covers. They keep the bugs out but allow air, light and moisture in. Be sure to remove the covers when your seedlings grow too large or when the temperatures heat up in summer. Don’t add mulch around the plants, as this is an ideal place for squash bugs to hide all season long. ■

16

www.BeaconSeniorNews.com

MAY 2015

Club Activities & Support Groups Compiled by Liesl Greathouse

• Western Slope 4 Wheelers is made up of off-road enthusiasts who enjoy four wheeling and who work to protect four-wheeling rights on public lands. Meetings are monthly at 7 p.m. on the first Tuesdays at the Montrose Rod & Gun Club’s indoor range, 1211 6450 Road. Call 275-0754.

• Montrose Amateur Radio Club’s monthly meetings are at 7 p.m. on the third Fridays at the Olathe Community Center. Call 417-6142.

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• Black Canyon Camera Club’s monthly meetings are at noon on the second Tuesdays at the First Church of Christ, 1102 Howard St. in Delta. Call 399-3674.

• Black Canyon Classics is open to all ages interested in classic cars, street rods, trucks and other vehicles. For times and locations, call 249-6051.

• Wild Bunch 4WD club is made up of members who share the love of the outdoors. Meetings are on the second Monday of “odd” months. For dates, times and locations, email desertrat 27@hotmail.com.

• Black Canyon Twirlers Square Dance Club members dance mainstream and plus and welcomes all visitors.

Monthly meetings are from 7 p.m.-

9:30 p.m. the second and fourth Saturdays at the Lions Clubhouse, 602 N. Nevada Ave. in Montrose. Call 596-4252.

• Montrose Pavilion Dance Club hosts dances twice a month from 7:30 p.m.-11 p.m. at the Montrose Pavilion, 1800 Pavilion Drive. On May 9, there will be music by Preferred Country and on May 23, there will be music

by Ghost River Band. Cost is $5. Call 252-7172.

Support groups • Veterans PTSD support group meets at 10 a.m. Thursdays at the Warrior Resource Center, 11 S. Park Ave. Veterans must provide a copy of their DD214 as verification of eligibility of services. Call 765-2210.

• Stroke Support Group meets 11 a.m. to noon, twice a month, at Montrose Memorial Hospital’s Acute Rehab Unit. For details and meeting days, call 318-2028.

• Bosom Buddies Breast Cancer Support Group meets from noon to 1:15 p.m. Wednesdays at 645 S. Fifth St. in Montrose.

• Caregiver Support Group meets 1 p.m.-2 p.m. Wednesdays at Crossroads Assisted & Independent Living model cottage at 1380 Aspen Way in Delta. Call 773-4214.

Custom Engraved:

Home appointments available

• Headstones • Stone Signs • Address Rocks • Sandblasting • River Rocks • Gifts & More

970-323-6658

Please call for an appointment

www.facebook.com/ MorrisMonument

morrismonument.com

1630 South Main Street, Delta

Life’s Legacy in Stone

MAY 2015

www.BeaconSeniorNews.com

• Alzheimer-Dementia Support Group meets at 6 p.m. on the second Tuesday of each month at Valley Manor Care Center, 1401 S. Cascade in Montrose. For more information, call 249-9634.

17

There’s A New Prosthodontist In Town!

• Caregiver Support & Networking Group meets at 1:30 p.m.-2:30 p.m. on the first Wednesdays and third Thursdays of each month at Region 10, 300 N. Cascade Ave. in Montrose.

The meetings are structured to be an all-inclusive group for caregivers who care for someone with dementia, disability or illness. For more information and to register, call 249-2436, ext. 203.

I’m Jake R. Atwood and although I am new to town, I am not new to Prosthodontics.

I served in the United States Air Force where I polished my skills and learned the value of self-sacrifice and service.

As a prosthodontist, I primarily deal with the replacement of missing or worn teeth. Whether it’s just one or all 32 of them, I can help you achieve a comfortable bite and a beautiful smile. And remember, it’s important to get your dentures checked annually!

• Caregiver Support Group meets at 1 p.m. on the first and second Monday of each month at the United Methodist Church, 19 S. Park Ave in Montrose. For more information, call 249-3716.

Having 4 kids, I know what it’s like to want the best for the ones you love. That’s why it’s not just about teeth. It’s about providing the best care in a comfortable, friendly atmosphere.

So, come on over, get to know us, and leave feeling like one of the family!

• Mending Hearts Support Group, offered by HopeWest, meets from 10:30 a.m. to noon Thursdays in the Bosom Buddies Room, 645 S. Fifth St. Call 240-7734. ■

*Dr. Atwood is the only Prosthodontist in the Western Slope of Colorado.

ATWOOD PROSTHODONTICS Jake R. Atwood DMD, MS

1317 N 3rd Street

241-2430

Grand Junction

Did you know the BEACON has a Facebook page?

Like us! www.facebook.com/BeaconSeniorNews Flower Motor Company Offer Expires:

May 31, 2015

Bring in this check to receive $500 off the purchase of any New or Used vehicle from Flower Motor Co. Not good with any other offer. Non-negotiable. No cash value.

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2580 N. Townsend, Montrose, CO www.flowermotor.net

18

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Delta/Montrose Calendar

SERVICE LIKE IT OUGHT TO BE!

Light weight small trailers in stock.

Compiled by Liesl Greathouse May 2

Todo Mundo at Paradise Theatre

Rockwood Trailers

BOB SCOTT RV’S SALES 2322 Hwy 6 & 50 Grand Junction, CO 81505 245-2175

20 ft. R-Pod Trailers

BOB SCOTT RV’S PARTS & SERVICE 2302 Hwy 6 & 50 Grand Junction, CO 81505 245-2175

THE FACT THAT IT’S INVISIBLE MAY BE THE LEAST REVOLUTIONARY THING ABOUT IT. INTRODUCE YOUR EARS TO THE FIRST AND ONLY INVISIBLE, EFFORTLESS, 24/7 HEARING AID. NO BATTERIES TO CHANGE NO DAILY INSERTION/REMOVAL REQUIRED EVEN SHOWERPROOF** CLEAR, NATURAL SOUND QUALITY

970-464-3062

www.HearingRehabCenter.com Certified Lyric Hearing Professional

GRAND JUNCTION

PCC Kara Miller and Ryan Crawford, Au.D.

MAY 2015

120 West Park Drive, Suite 111 Grand Junction, CO 81505

*Individual replacement needs may vary. Duration of device battery life varies by patient and is subject to individual ear conditions. **Lyric is water resistant, not waterproof, and should not be completely submerged under water. †Professional fees may apply. Annual subscription begins the first day of trial. Talk to your Lyric provider for more information. Lyric is not appropriate for all patients. See your Lyric hearing professional to determine if Lyric is right for you. Lyric, distributed by Phonak LLC © 2015. All Rights Reserved. MS038431 NEW922

San Diego based world music band Todo Mundo will be performing at 8 p.m. at the Paradise Theatre, 215 Grand Ave. in Paonia. Todo Mundo blends the musical flavors of rumba, reggae, Brazilian and Middle Eastern styles into an irresistible groove that has been moving dance floors and connecting with audiences since 2009. Cost is $15 in advance and $20 at the door. For details and to purchase tickets, call 527-6610.

tion meeting room, 11925 6300 Road in Montrose. Cost is $45 and includes a small frame to keep. Preregistration is required. Call 249-298 for details.

May 9

Garden Affair This event features plants (perennials, annual flowers and vegetables), garden decorations and ornaments for sale. Sale is from 9 a.m.-1 p.m. at the Montrose Botanic Gardens, 1800 Pavilion Drive in Montrose. Plein-air artists in the gardens will also sell their paintings. There will be a silent auction. For details, call 596-0564.

May 2

May 14

Learn to make beautiful and durable twined rag rugs using inexpensive equipment and common household supplies, while you help revive a disappearing folk craft. Make a hot pad to learn how to make full-sized rugs. Class is from 9 a.m.-4 p.m. at the Delta Montrose Electric Associa-

Montrose County Health and Human Services will host the AARP SMART Driver Safety Program from 8:30 a.m.-1 p.m. at 1845 S. Townsend Ave. in Montrose. Cost is $15 for AARP members and $20 for nonmembers.

Preregistration is required. To register, call 249-2436, ext. 203.

Rag rugs part 1: Twined Rag Rug

AARP SMART Driver Safety Course

MAY 2015

www.BeaconSeniorNews.com

May 14

Rainy Days: Using Your Home for a Safety Net? Join us in an open discussion about Home Equity Conversion Mortgages (HECM), how they are structured and how they may be used in certain situations to meet financial needs or to supplement existing monthly incomes. This free event will be from 12:30 p.m.-1:30 p.m. at Westminster Hall, 145 E. Fourth St. in Delta. The USDA will also present on their programs to help with housing modifications and repairs. Registration is required. For details and to register, call 249-2436, ext. 208.

May 14 & 21

Alzheimer’s Education Series This program on Living with Alzheimer’s for Late Stage Caregivers will be from 4 p.m.-5 p.m. at Colorado Mesa University’s Montrose Campus, 320 S. Second St. Join us and hear from caregivers and professionals about resources, monitoring care and providing meaningful connection for the person with late-stage

Alzheimer’s and their families. For details and to RSVP, call 240-0600.

May 23

Rag rugs part 2: Circular rag rugs and baskets Make circular twined rag rugs and baskets. Class is from 9 a.m.-4 p.m. at the Delta Montrose Electric Association meeting room, 11925 6300 Road in Montrose. The circular sampler you begin in class can be continued to make a full-sized rug, or you can choose to turn it into a basket. Cost $35. Preregistration is required. Call 249-298 for details.

May 29

Summer Music Series kicks off The 2015 Montrose Summer Music Series kicks off with free music all day at the Black Canyon Golf Course, 1350 Birch St. in Montrose. Three more shows are scheduled for July 3, July 31 and August 14. Bring lawn chairs and blankets. Shows will go on rain or shine. Food and beverages are available from Horsefly Brewing. For details, call 275-4183. ■

H I L LT O P’S S E N I O R D AY B R E A K

g Servin ction n u J Grand ontrose &M

Dementia and Alzheimer’s Care, Support and Information. n Safe and secure adult day program for seniors affected by memory loss or who are medically frail. n Providing caregivers the flexibility and support they need to care for their loved ones at home. n Valuable information and support groups specifically designed for those caring for someone affected by dementia and Alzheimer’s.

(970) 241-7798 • www.seniordaybreak.org L O C A L L Y

O W N E D

A N D

O P E R A T E D

B Y

H I L L T O P

19

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Directors of Electric Co-ops are Elected by Very Influential People...

The Members They Serve.

Cooperative Election Key Dates: • Candidate Forum: 6 pm, May 12, - DMEA Headquarters, 11925 6300 Rd.

• Ballots Mailed to Members: May 26 • Mail-in Ballot Deadline: June 15 • ...or vote at the

Annual Meeting, 8 am, June 17 - Cedaredge Assembly of God church, 159 SW 9th St., Cedaredge DMEA is an equal opportunity provider and employer.

MAY 2015

Delta/Montrose Beacon Bits Compiled by Liesl Greathouse

The Great US 50 Yard Sale This community yard sale, sponsored

by Fore-Kin Trails Genealogical Society, will be 8 a.m.-4 p.m. May 16 at the Montrose County Fairgrounds’ east parking lot, 1001 N. Second St. in Montrose. Vendor 12-foot x 24-foot spaces are available for $25. Reserve your spot by May 13 by calling 2401755. Consider donating your unwanted items to Fore-Kin Trails. For details, call 240-1819.

“Phantom” at Magic Circle Theatre Based on Gaston Leroux’s novel, “Phantom” is the timeless, starcrossed love story of the phantom, disfigured music genius Erik, and his muse, Christine, the ingénue of the Paris Opera. Their music unfolds deep in the catacombs of the Paris Opera House, where Erik finds salva-

tion in Christine’s breathtaking voice.

“Phantom” opens at 7:30 p.m. Friday, May 8 at Magic Circle Theater, 420 S. 12th St. in Montrose and continues Friday and Saturday evenings through May 30. Matinees are at 2 p.m. on Sundays, May 10, 24 and 31.

For more information and tickets, call 249-7838.

Region 10 Education Series Montrose events will be held at Region 10, 300 N. Cascade in Montrose.

Registration is required. All sessions are free. For details and to register, call 249-2436.

• May 11, 4:30 p.m.-5:30 p.m. - “What to do When Someone Dies.” Learn about assets, taxes, wills and tips to help avoid family disagreements.

• May 19, noon to 1 p.m. - “Guardianship, Conservatorship and Grandparent’s Rights.” This presentation will give a brief overview of each program.

MAY 2015

Volunteer opportunities • The Interpretive Association is taking applications for volunteers to help with the operations of the Fort Uncompahgre Living History Museum in Delta’s Visitor Center and Gift Shop. IAWC also needs volunteers that are interested in exterior exhibits and trails, social media, historic restoration workshops, etho-history programs, and cultural and natural history programs. For more information, call 874-6695.

Delta Senior Activities The following activities are offered at Bill Heddles Recreation Center, 530 Gunnison River Drive in Delta. To register for any of the following activities or for a full list, call 874-0923.

• Community Evening Dance - 7 p.m.-10 p.m. May 16. Cost is $5. Bring a snack to share.

Montrose Senior Activities The Montrose Recreation District has the following activities scheduled for seniors 50+ this month. Register

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www.BeaconSeniorNews.com one week ahead. Events take place at the Montrose Pavilion, 1800 Pavilion Drive, or transportation departs from the Montrose Pavilion. Please arrive at each event at least 15 minutes early. For more information on the following activities, call 252-4884.

• Rim Rockers Historical Society Guided Tour - 8 a.m.-4 p.m. May 7. Tour the Uravan historical site. First stop is the museum in Naturita. Bring a sack lunch. Cost is $27.

• Suncrest Orchard Alpacas and Fiber Works - 8:45 a.m.-3:30 p.m. May 14.

Cost is $20. Bring money for lunch in Palisade.

• Colorado River Float Trip - 8:30 a.m.-4 p.m. May 19. Enjoy the scenery from the Colorado River. Palisade River Trips is our guide. Cost is $63.

• Hike Crawford State Park - 9 a.m.3:30 p.m. May 26. Wear good walking shoes or hiking boots, wear sunscreen and bring ample water.

Dress in layers. Bring a sack lunch.

Cost is $18. ■

S E N I O R

PARKWAY Our prices will help youDENTAL smile Single Crown ........................................................ $525

Complete Denture ...................................... (plate) $425 Complete Dentures ........................................ (set) $850 Implant & Crown .................................. starting at $1500 Implants to Hold Denture .......................... (arch) $1200

Dr. Brian Hanson, DDS 970.208.8046 • www.smilehelper.com • 1300 N. 7th Street #3

L I V I N G

C O M M U N I T I E S

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22 CLASSIFIEDS

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QUESTIONS? Call us M-TH, 9 a.m.-4 p.m., 970 243-8829 www.BeaconSeniorNews.com

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ANTIQUES, APPRAISALS, ESTATE SALES With over 30 years in the antique, appraisal and estate sale business, Great American Estate Sales is the valley’s leader in appraisals and estate liquidation. Settling an estate, moving into a smaller home or just simplifying your lifestyle? Great American Estate Sales can provide a worry-free and quick solution. Free consultation.

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Help Wanted

sales person wanted The Beacon Senior newspaper is growing and we’re looking for a mature, loving sales person to grow with us.

Send your letter and resume to beacon@pendantpublishing.com

writers wanted The Beacon Senior newspaper is looking for writers in Mesa, Delta and Montrose counties.

Send your letter and resume to beacon@pendantpublishing.com

MAY 2015

kudos\ku·dos  “My husband and I have been coming to your BeaconFest for several years now and I think this was your best yet. But my husband liked it when you had the belly dancers.”

- Stella T., Grand Junction

 “You had a nice turnout at BeaconFest even with the weather being less than cooperative. I really enjoyed Laura Wayman’s presentation on dementia.”

- Gail H., Grand Junction

Kevin: “I want to thank all of the speakers at this year’s show. We have received several letters about people who liked Laura’s presentation, and I’d like to thank Comfort Keepers for bringing Laura to town.”  “Congratulations on a very well attended event (BeaconFest)! You and your team do a great job on so many levels. I was amazed at the amount of people there, considering the weather was TERRIBLE.”- Dean R., Gateway  “Congratulations on a huge and successful BeaconFest!”- Arch A., Palisade  “I read the article ‘Montrose has worms’ in the Montrose-Delta BEACON and am very happy with it. Liesl did a great job. Thank you.”

- James B., Montrose

 “I just read the article (‘Bringing home the bacon and the bling: Local veterans live up to their CHAMPS nickname’). I loved it. Thanks for putting it in the BEACON Senior Newspaper.”

- Emma Folnsbee, CHAMPS Team Captain, Grand Junction

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Pass out a compliment?

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Those were the days

By Laverne Bardy

T

oday’s kids have no idea how much things have changed over the years. They view today’s sexually charged language, revealing clothing and casual sex as routine: Boy meets girl. Boy and girl jump into bed.

Courtship not required.

I visited a college dorm recently and was blown away. Not only are there coed dorms and bathrooms, but all kids have to do to request privacy is hang a tie or a hat on the door knob and everyone knows to steer clear of that room because sex is happening.

When I was in college, girls had a curfew: 10 p.m. on weekdays and midnight on weekends. We were required to sign out and sign in. Show up five minutes late and the front desk warden dispensed severe penalties. College boys, on the other hand, had only one rule. They were only permitted on the lower level of the girl’s dorm, where guards stood near staircases and elevators.

In the 1950s, if an unmarried girl became pregnant, she was disgraced.

She left school and disappeared for the duration of her pregnancy. When she returned she did her best to hide from the harsh tongues of people who judged and condemned her. The alternative plan was to marry the father as soon as possible.

Today, teenage pregnancy is little more than business as usual. Sure, there are inconveniences attached, but the stigma has been removed.

In fact, many high schools include baby nurseries so girls can have their babies cared for while they attend class. I watched a group of teenage girls in micro-mini skirts that had me holding my breath every time they moved. I’m thinking there might be fewer pregnancies if girls wore longer skirts, or were made to take classes in the art of sitting.

Another change is the style of maternity clothes. Skirts used to have large holes cut out of the front to make room for a woman’s expanding belly. Baggy blouses shaped like

lampshades concealed those large openings. Today, pregnant women show off baby bumps with spandex and beachwear, consisting of minuscule tops and dental floss bottoms. I like that pregnant bodies are flaunted today. I never thought a woman should have to hide such a beautiful process.

Every generation has their fashion fads, but there are some nowadays that I’ll never understand—like girls wearing short shorts and fur-lined boots at the same time in 95-degree temperatures. Make up your minds, girls. Are you hot or cold?

Back in the ’50s, girls wore men’s large dress shirts tied in a knot at the waist, and black ballerina shoes that my father assured me would ruin my feet. Guys wore pegged pants and hairstyles that emulated Elvis.

Both sexes wore club jackets that identified who they were or who they wanted to be. But unlike today’s suggestive clothes, nothing we wore back then shouted, “I’m available.

Let’s hook up.”

TV commercials have gone way too far. A laxative commercial has a woman walking down an airplane aisle asking people if they’re constipated. Seriously? I enjoy fantasizing about what I’d say to her if she asked me. In an erectile dysfunction commercial, (Who ever heard that term back in the day?) a man smiles mischievously because he got lucky the night before as a result of taking a pill that helped him get the job done and didn’t leave him with an erection that lasted more than four hours.

People on Facebook post things I can’t believe they think readers care about, like “I just ate a bologna sandwich,” “I’m going to sleep now,” and “My dog threw up.” Who cares? Why are we so desperate to connect with people?

If I sound like a ranting old lady, it’s because I am. It’s one of the few perks that comes with being old.

Wait. Don’t get me started on technology.

Lord, help me. ■

KUDOS & KVETCH 23

kvetch\kfech  “Well, what a fine fix we Montrosians find ourselves in. Our county, using our money, is suing our hospital. Our hospital, using our money, is fending of the county. Taxpayers lose while the attorneys win big!” - Steve M., Montrose  “Montrose Memorial and Montrose County suing each other; it’s a damn shame!” - Frank R., Montrose  “Can someone tell me if the (Montrose) county’s and the (Montrose Memorial) hospital’s attorneys are at least local? Or are we paying for attorneys out of Grand Junction or worse, Denver?” - Carolyn B., Montrose  “So the lady bitten by dogs doesn’t wish to sue the dogs’ dimwit owners.

As a taxpayer, I’d like to suggest that Medicaid sue them for us.”- Anonymous  “Put them puppies down!”

- Anonymous

 “As an animal lover and owner, it is my responsibility to look out after them and make sure that they are secured on a leash and fenced in my own yard.”

- Brenda N., Grand Junction

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