Md beacon 092016

SEPTEMBER 2016

Vol. 2 No. 9

Montrose & Delta Counties’ Newspaper for Adults 50+. Over 13,650 Readers.

FREE INS IDE

YOU’RE NEVER TOO OLD TO LOOK HOT! Photo by Sydni Searle-VanGundy

BOOMER & SENIOR FAIR

September 15, 2016 9 am - 2 pm

Montrose Pavilion, Montrose FOR INFORMATION CALL 970-243-8829

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SEPTEMBER 2016

EDITORIAL

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Is Trump’s conspiracy theory right?

Learn about Estate Planning at our Free Educational Workshops!

BOOM ER & SENIOR FAIR

Experienced & Compassionate Estate, Trust & Tax Planning Attorneys

By Kevin K. Van Gundy

R

epublican presidential candidate Donald Trump has spoken of a conspiracy to deny him the White House in November. And I have come to agree… almost.

In my theory Bill Clinton persuaded Donald Trump to run for the Republican nomination in order to call attention to some of the party’s more controversial, just-right-of-radical ideals. In this regard, Trump was to have been the perfect from 9 a.m.-2 p.m. on Thursday, Sepfoil. a 1,000 visitors temberOver 15 at the Montrose Pavilion, But this is where Clinton’s plan 50+ itors 1800 PavilionExhib Drive. started to backfire.

This year’s BeaKeynoteMontrose-Delta Speakers Clinton: “Damn it, Donald! conFest features an exciting lineup Live Music & Door Prizes You’re not supposed to win the of live entertainment, free food, nomination.” informative seminars and booths FREE Admi ssion, Entertainment, seminars & food!

Trump: “Well what else can I do? sponsored by over 50 senior-related I’ve already said every crazy thing businesses. that comes to mind!”

For more information or to get am 243-8829.

- 2 pm Clinton: “I don’t know! a booth,9 call Make it crazier!”

Montrose

September 15, 2016

Or did Clinton’s plan unravel?

With nomination in hand, Donald’s campaign has gone completely off the tracks, and Hillary Clinton is now free to waltz into the White House.

Or, will she?

Some people seem to like the idea of caging Muslims, hiring the Chinese to build another great wall and making fun of Rosie O’Donnell.

Either way, “God save America!”

Come enjoy Montrose-Delta BeaconFest on September 15 We’re having a party and you’re invited. Our annual Montrose-Delta BeaconFest Senior Fair will be held In 1978, Congress passed legislation making the first Sunday after Labor Day National Grandparents Day. (No doubt this was done after some heavy lobbying efforts from Hallmark.)

Now, as a grandfather to three, I am less the skeptic and more the celebrant. This is me with my grandson, River.

Pavilion, Montrose Scary photos?

FOR INFORM ATIONup CALL Let’s scare a 970-24 good3-8829 time

next month. Please send us your Halloween photos for October’s BEACON. They can be old photos of yourself, newer photos of your grandkids, or recent photos of your neighbors trick-or-treating in the nude. Now that’s scary! Please include a line or two with your photos about who is in the picture. Send to: Beacon@PendantPublishing.com PO Box 3895, Grand Junction, CO 81502. ■

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There Has Been a Death in the Family! Now What?

v Montrose: September 12th, 4:30 - 5:30 p.m. v Delta: September 19th, 4:30 - 5:30 p.m. v Grand Junction: September 21st, 4:30 - 5:30 p.m.

Dealing with the death of a loved one is stressful enough, but not knowing how to administer the estate is an additional worry. Have you lost a loved one recently? Do you have questions on how to administer their estate or on how your own estate will be administered? At this workshop we’ll discuss important issues in the probate and estate administration process, and the common mistakes that catch people off guard. It may not be as easy as you think! Sign up today!

Special Presentation at the Animal Care Fair! - At Church of the Nativity in Grand Junction, September 17th, at 11:30 a.m., attorney Clara Brown Shaffer will be giving a free mini seminar on Pet Trusts at the Animal Care Fair! (Admission is free for this fair!) Event goes from 11:00 a.m. - 3:00 p.m. For more information about the Animal Care Fair, please visit Facebook.com/animalcarefair&nativitygj.org Registration is Required for Workshops: Grand Junction office - 1250 E. Sherwood Dr. Montrose - Region 10 Area Agency on Aging, 300 N. Cascade Delta - 1501 E. 3rd St., Mesa Lakes room (Oncology Center) at Delta Hospital.

Sign up by calling (970) 243-8250 or on our website: www.brownandbrownpc.com

Phone: (970) 243-8250 1250 E. Sherwood Drive, Grand Junction, CO 81501 1317 Grand Ave., Suite 224B, Glenwood Springs, CO 81601

Baird B. Brown u Clara Brown Shaffer u Jamie J. Roth u Paul M. Smith u Shauna C. Clemmer

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COVER STORY

www.BeaconSeniorNews.com

SEPTEMBER 2016

You’re never too old to look hot!

Fabulous fashion tips for women over 50

By Melanie Wiseman & Cloie Sandlin

L

et’s be honest, ladies—our bodies aren’t what they used to be. Even with a little pooch here and a little droop there, it doesn’t mean you have to cover up with turtlenecks and muumuus. Age and experience can add a special flair to women over 50. You’re never too old to look hot!

Raiding your granddaughter’s closet, however, is not the answer. Local stores offer trendy, flattering clothing and accessories from head to toe, which allow the mature woman to express herself with confidence and freedom.

If you dread going into your closet because it all looks the same, everything you own is outdated, or you feel like you never have anything to wear (which translates to “I don’t like what I have in my closet”), then get ready to go on a fun fashion journey with some local women who are sure to inspire you.

A passion for fashion Pollux Clothing Company owner Ivy Parnasius has worked in retail since she was 16.

“My calling has always been fashion, so I left law school and opened my first boutique,” Parnasius, 43, said.

Her first boutique was in Florida, but after

falling in love with the area, she relocated to the Western Slope 17 years ago and opened Pollux Clothing Company on Main Street in Grand Junction a year later. After two moves and expansions, Pollux is now located at 321 Main St. in Grand Junction and 433 Main St. in Montrose.

Parnasius believes strongly in carrying style for every generation, which is why she uses seniors as well as young 20-somethings to model Pollux’s clothes.

“They look every bit as good as their younger counterparts,” Parnasius said. “Over 50 doesn’t mean frumpy. It’s all about comfort and confidence.”

She makes buying trips to Los Angeles every three weeks to keep the mix of merchandise at Pollux unique and always changing.

“We carry very small quantities, so everything we have is special,” Parnasius said. “We carry styles for every generation that are functional and serve many occasions. Our prices are very affordable. Being fashionable doesn’t have to be expensive.”

Parnasius gave the following fashion tips for women over 50:

Must-haves for every woman’s wardrobe • Dark denim jeans in skinny and boot-cut styles • White jeans are great alternatives to shorts for the warmer months.

• Tank tops in a wider-strap style that are fitted but not tight Pollux owner Ivy Parnasius brings fashion to the Western Slope. Photo by Tyler Hansen.

The beautiful ladies who modeled for us at SheShe Boutique. From left: Terry Kemp, Barbara Bynum and Valerie Harper.

• Wear wraps, blazers and cardigans open and over tank tops or other thin layers to add coverage for arms.

• Wrap dresses look amazing on everyone.

• Leggings and tunics are the ultimate in comfort, ease and fashionable style.

• Never underestimate the power of accessories. Add a scarf or necklace to make a fantastic outfit.

Tips to look instantly younger • Invest in a great bra • Wear modern eyewear • Don’t wear anything too baggy or too tight • Choose jackets that hit at the waist • Adding a belt will emphasize your waist • Scoop necklines are slimming • Jewel tones are universally flattering • Add a fantastic pair of boots to your wardrobe for winter and wedges for summer

Before shopping at Pollux, Flemming said all her clothes were black, brown and navy.

“My daughter used to say I would buy 14 of the same thing,” she said.

“My closet has evolved and is fun and fresh now. Don’t be afraid of colors like turquoise, new brighter blues or oranges.”

Flemming likes to support downtown and locally owned businesses.

“They get to know you, and they have honest, personal customer

A model senior Carrie Flemming, 73, is one of Pollux’s senior models. Even during her career as a grade school teacher, she always felt it was important to dress well.

“I started noticing about five years ago that Pollux was carrying fashion for more mature women,” Flemming said.

Carrie Flemming, 73, models one of Pollux’s new arrivals.

SEPTEMBER 2016

COVER STORY

www.BeaconSeniorNews.com

service,” she said. “They won’t let you leave the store in something that is too young for you or doesn’t fit you right. Lines should flow right and compliment your body no matter what shape you are. You have to look at the fit, comfort level and whether you feel really special in an outfit.”

To diversify and make the most of your wardrobe, Flemming recommended.

• Review your clothes at the end of each season. Take note of what you did or didn’t wear.

• Sort your closet by color to see what you need or tend to overbuy.

“If you’re always buying the same style or color, take a friend shopping with you,” Flemming advised.

• Necklaces, earrings, scarves and other fun accessories can make an old or new outfit “pop” and de-emphasize a saggy neck.

Dress age appropriate without feeling your age There comes a time in a woman’s life when clothes shopping becomes more of a battle—she’s not old enough to look like her grandmother but she’s too old for the short skirts, graphic tees and plunging necklines commonly worn by 20-somethings.

Kimberly McGehee and the friendly ladies at SheShe Boutique, 340 E. Main St. in Montrose, can help direct women to unique pieces that make them feel special and look fabulous.

“We help women who want to look cute and current but relevant to their age,” McGehee said.

Just next door, Nina Suzanne’s Fashions owner Nina Suzanne Crozier helps shoppers enhance their style by picking out clothing and accessories from the brands they love.

“They like when I pick out things for them,” she said. “I like to help people find what they need and see what styles look good on them.”

SheShe specializes in unique styles in a small run of sizes “so you don’t see yourself coming down the street,” McGehee said.

McGehee loves working with customers to mix and match clothing and accessories, especially the regulars, because she can match new items with items they’ve previously

purchased.

Each year, Crozier and McGehee make trips to Denver and other big cities to learn about the latest trends and purchase the hottest styles, which they bring home to Montrose.

McGehee’s advice to women is don’t be afraid to wear what’s in trend no matter your age. If a customer loves fringe but a short fringe blouse is not suitable for her, the trend can always be integrated in a purse, scarf or accessory.

“I want to make women feel pretty,” McGehee said. “It’s not about the sale. It’s about them. I love seeing that smile on their face.”

Fashion advice from McGehee • Crisp white shirts are timeless.

They go with anything and can be dressed up or down.

• Pencil skirts are flattering on most body types.

• Spanx smooth out imperfections and are a must-have in your closet.

• Find a top and bottom for every season that make you feel fabulous.

Make sure they go with two or three other pieces in your closet.

• Have a variety of handbags and jewelry ready to add to any outfit.

Secondhand style Style doesn’t have to come with a hefty price tag. Secondhand stores like Heirlooms for Hospice make shopping for fashionable, quality items relatively easy.

“Secondhand stores make people think that you have to sort through items to get anything good,” Heirlooms Creative Design Manager Trisha Whittington said. “We sell only high-quality, gently used clothing so you’re never going to have to search for quality.”

In addition to clothing from top designers like Eileen Fisher and Joseph Ribkoff, Heirlooms also sells seasonal furniture, home décor, jewelry and accessories. All items are donated by members of the community and proceeds from sales benefit the mission of HopeWest.

Kimberly McGehee, owner of SheShe Boutique, helps women of all ages choose clothes that make them feel beautiful.

Women (and men) of all ages can find items to complement their style at Heirlooms. It’s not uncommon to have three generations of women come in and shop, each finding an item that suits her own personal style, such as a piece of jewelry, scarf or homecoming dress.

With all the timely fashions at Heirlooms, Whittington said women 50 and older don’t have to “dress their age” in an outdated fashion.

“Some people will come in and ask, ‘Is this too young looking?’” she said. “Just because it’s in style doesn’t mean it’s too young.”

Whittington said she finds that to be a common misconception among women. After all, when it comes to style, it’s not always about tight blouses and short skirts.

“Dress to fit your form and dress in things you love,” she said. “Wear whatever makes you feel pretty.”

Before you consider spending upwards of $100 for designer clothing at a department store, stop by Heirlooms to see what styles you can find that are barely used or sometimes brand new. ■

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National & Regional Award-Winning Publication Publisher ..............................Kevin K. VanGundy Founding Publisher....................... Susan Capps Editor............................................. Cloie Sandlin Creative Director........................Melissa Trottier Graphic Design.............................. Tyler Hansen Graphic Design.............................. Karen Jones Digital Media Manager............. Paige Slaughter Photography..............................Katherine Lopez Office Manager............................... Kim Latham Account Representative................... Sue Bowen Account Representative................ Sidney Jayne Account Representative..................Anna Hesse Sales Assistant.............................Stacey Splude Proofreader...................................... Jan Weeks Cheerleader................................... Genevra Shal Delivery...........................................Cora Gentry Delivery ................................. Lauren VanGundy Delivery...............................................JR Milner

P.O. Box 3895, Grand Junction, CO 81502 ph: 970.243.8829 fax: 800.536.7516 Website: www.BeaconSeniorNews.com E-mail: Beacon@PendantPublishing.com The BEACON is published at the beginning of the month. Our goal is to inform and inspire the 50+ community in Mesa, Delta and Montrose counties.

Publication of advertising does not necessarily constitute endorsement. Columns are opinions of the writers, not necessarily the opinion of the publisher. Display advertising rates are available upon request. Deadline for advertising and announcements is the 20th of the month preceding publication. © Copyright 2016 • All Rights Reserved

Cover Photo: From left: Valerie Harper, Barbara Bynum, Terry Kemp and SheShe’s owner Kimberly McGehee modeled some of the latest styles at SheShe Boutique in Montrose.

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FEATURE STORY

www.BeaconSeniorNews.com

SEPTEMBER 2016

Meet the unsung heroes of Montrose Memorial Hospital

By Bob Cox

H

Upscale Resale Shopping Furniture, apparel, home décor and more!

521 Main Street Delta, CO (970) 874-5251 435 E. Main Street Montrose, CO (970) 252-3648 10:00 a.m. - 5:30 p.m.

ow many 10-cent books do you have to sell, and how many bake sales do you have to organize, and how many small gift items must be sold before you can raise over $15,000? The answer is simple—a lot, but to 90 volunteers at the Montrose Memorial Hospital it is all part of what they do.

The training for being a volunteer at the hospital is extensive and varied, depending on where one is assigned, but every volunteer is told that they are likely going to be the person people see when they arrive at the hospital and may be the last person a patient or family members sees upon leaving.

This wonderful bunch of people know that they are the stewards of caring and sharing, and they do a

great job.

Dale Dvorak, who heads up the volunteer department of Montrose Memorial, said that she has some of the best people in the world helping around the hospital.

“We have volunteers in nearly every department,” she said. “They are in the lobby at the information desk and at the gallery desk and they run the gift shop. Those are the most obvious.”

One of the first things one sees upon entering the lobby of the hospital is the information desk.

Among others, Chris Romero and Darlene Brown are often there to help. Among their many duties is that of an internal guide service. When someone asks how to find an office or person in the hospital, they are usually not just told where to go;

SEPTEMBER 2016

FEATURE STORY

www.BeaconSeniorNews.com

Information Desk: Chris Romero, left, and Darlene Brown, right, are often the first people that new patients and family members meet when they come into the hospital.

one of these gals will come out from behind the desk and lead the way.

Given the fact that the hospital has gone through numerous remodels, upgrades and transformations over the years, this service has become one of the most important.

Romero, who worked for 25 years for a local candy company, said, “It helps me stay busy and get away from the house. I get to see a lot of people. I love people.”

Her sentiments are universal among the volunteers. They like people and they know they are helping.

Romero and Brown often oversee the Gallery, where patients, family members and the public have the opportunity to purchase used books.

The newly built display shelf, which was paid for by the income from the books, exhibits a wide array of titles, many of recent release. It’s not unusual, according to Brown for someone to buy a book, read it and donate it back.

“We have people ask us for specific authors and sometimes we tell them when a book they are looking for comes in,” she said. “And it helps the hospital.”

Mary Edwards sits quietly at her desk in the surgery reception and waiting room department, where she directs family members and keeps them informed.

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Gift shop: Sharon Moslet holds one of the unique frog figurines available in the gift shop at MMH. “I am thinking of buying this one for someone I know that collects frogs,” she said.

Surgery reception: Mary Edwards sits quietly behind the desk in the surgery reception area, where she efficiently handles calls from hospital staff and family members.

Dale Dvorak: Dale Dvorak heads up a volunteer group of about 90 people, including eight chaplains who provide much-needed and much-appreciated services to the patients, employees and service providers of Montrose Memorial Hospital.

“I needed something to do and this is it,” she said, adding that she feels good about what she does and what the volunteer program means to the hospital.

Sharon Moslet does her duties in the gift shop. She said that a big part of their customer base is the hospital employees.

“They are busy and sometimes don’t have the time to go shopping,” she said.

The gift shop provides a plethora of unique items, from flowers in happy face mugs to small jewelry items and insulated coffee cups, all displayed in a professional and pleasing environment overseen by people who care.

Dvorak is quick to point out that each of the volunteers in each department is headed up by a chairperson that ensures that the volunteers are properly trained in their duties.

She said everyone gets training in the areas of privacy and safety but the heads of each department see to it that those working in the department each receive specific training for their areas.

So far this year more than $15,000 has been collected through the volunteer program. The money has benefited the cardiac care department and has helped purchase a bariatric unit for the physical therapy department. Money has gone toward

the expenses involved in having the Care Channel available throughout the hospital and plans are being finalized for some equipment for the cancer center. New china was purchased for the Lobby Grille, and most

importantly, according to Dvorak, the volunteers have made a difference in many lives.

To Volunteer at Montrose Memorial Hospital, call 240-7341. ■

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www.BeaconSeniorNews.com

M O N T RO S E- D E LTA

Grandkids show you a new way of seeing things

By Bonnie McCune

H FREE Admission, Entertainment, seminars & food!

September 15, 2016 9 am - 2 pm

Montrose Pavilion, Montrose FOR INFORMATION CALL 970-243-8829

SEPTEMBER 2016

enry Miller said, “One’s destination is never a place, but a new way of seeing things.”

I’ve found that a major benefit of grandchildren is they show you a new way of seeing things (like poking a roly-poly bug with a finger to study its transformation into a tight and tiny circle, or licking the latest flavor of ice cream in total anticipation of delight). With this in mind, take your grandchildren on a trip for an unforgettable experience.

My husband and I set off to one of our favorite locations, Mesa Verde National Monument, with our two grandchildren in tow. We wanted to share this treasure with our curious and questing offspring, not just for their benefit but for ours, too: a different perspective, new challenges and renewed appreciation.

Mesa Verde requires a nine-hour, 400-mile voyage from Denver (we picked our grandkids up from the airport) to its cultural, historic and archeological wonders. So we loaded up Lola, 10, and Sean, 7, for an expedition long enough to challenge us and short enough to avoid a resemblance of purgatory.

We were realistic. No, we couldn’t expect the children to be quiet the entire way. Yes, we knew distractions had to be planned. No, we had no hopes of a clean car interior, hands, faces and clothing.

In addition, we favored human interactions over electronics. Television wasn’t an option, for our lodge had none. And we would use the portable DVD player minimally.

Each child brought a backpack of books, crayons and toys. The distractions Grandma and Grandpa supplied tended to be based on our own interests pointing out the routes traveled by pioneers and noticing areas that forest fires had decimated. These made welcome breaks in the routine and also led to conversations. Seven-

year-olds can have real conversations in which they state opinions, mull information and ask questions. Just give the kids time and a little direction. You’ll get highly original points of view while building the bonds between the generations.

We used the trip to test and try new things. We met people who spoke in other languages (teaching the kids that America is not the center of the world) and we learned life lessons through observations of human behavior (like the impact and irresponsibility of littering). Lessons like these broadened the children’s knowledge and experience.

We entertained ourselves playing games like Clue. In the car, long-beloved activities like car bingo, nonsense songs and license plate sightings all passed the time in positive ways. I hardly dared suggesting one pastime: reading aloud. I feared the kids would think it was a chore. But remembering their parents’ fascination three decades before with a narration of “The Great Brain,” I wanted to try. I didn’t have to. Lola brought Harry Potter books and read one to all of us, thereby providing entertainment, improving her reading skills, and making Sean eager to try reading subsequent volumes by himself.

Our four-day adventure was chock full of fun, exercise, new sights and experiences and a few disagreements from which we all learned. Sean challenged himself to climb tall ladders; Lola became an expert at detective work. None of us will forget the deer nibbling grass right outside the lodge room or the eerie yet exhilarating fog that spread over the landscape one morning.

Best of all, we became closer with our family’s next generation, and they learned more about us. As Sean said at the conclusion of our trip, “Grandpa is my new best friend.”

What can beat a result like that? ■

SEPTEMBER 2016

ASK THE OLD BAG

www.BeaconSeniorNews.com

ASK THE OLD BAG Advice Column for the Over 50 Crowd

1800 Pavilion Drive

By Gayle Lagman-Creswick Dear Old Bag: I read with interest the letter from “Hurting Mom” and your response in last month’s column.

Having had a mother who lived to be 95 and having dealt with the parent saying, “Don’t treat me like a child,” I couldn’t let your response go by without adding a different perspective.

Like the 73-year-old lady, my mother was a career woman and extremely independent her whole life. She only became dependent the last six months of her life. Throughout my entire childhood and adulthood, she was a selfish, self-centered individual who believed she should be the center of everyone’s universe, especially my father’s and mine. She would sink to any depth to win an argument, and if something happened that she disapproved of, you knew without fail that she would get back at you sooner or later. Admittedly, her favorite weapon was words, but she used them deftly. I was so relieved when my husband witnessed some of her behavior and announced that she was a nasty individual, and he couldn’t believe how she treated me. This was from a man who doesn’t indulge in that sort of rhetoric. When I was 65 she insulted me so deeply and personally to make a point that I was ready to walk away and never speak to her again.

She quickly realized that she had not only crossed the line—she had obliterated it. She called in tears begging to be forgiven and my husband spoke to her because I could not. Suddenly her words were costing her something.

I did return and I tried to take care of her until her death, but with little enthusiasm and without any love; it was a duty. Please do not assume that all parents deserve love. Please do not assume that senior parents can treat children any way they please and be

spared a backlash from the adult child.

Please do not assume that seniors are entitled to petulant, self-serving behaviors because they are either a senior or a parent. The woman writing the letter seemed to imply she had all her faculties, so something is at play. Please do not assume that because adult children are grown, they should still put up with a parent’s unacceptable behavior and when they react it is by definition abuse. My mother criticized me her whole life. I was an straight-A student.

I graduated from high school with honors; as a senior I was voted “most dependable” in a class of 500. I graduated from college with a math degree and had an outstanding career. I never gave my parents a lick of trouble. But that didn’t matter. Given all of that, her last words before she died criticized me. That is my lasting impression of my mother. Using your conclusion, “When they begin yelling or scolding me, I would simply say, ‘I feel so hurt by your words. What is it that has you so upset at me?’ She better be ready to hear the answer. Maybe the senior writing in needs to dig a bit into her own behaviors. Regards, JB

Dear JB: Thank you for helping me to see the other side. I knew about these kinds of mothers and fathers, and I should have shown the other side. To you parents out there who are being mistreated by an adult child, look in the mirror. Your kids may not be there for you like the writer above.

They may disown you, and you may be left with no one to care for or about you. Relationships are difficult at best and require lots of loving care on both sides. Thanks again. OB ■

Send your questions to the Old Bag in care of the BEACON, or email lagmancreswick@cox.net

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10

LAUGHING MATTERS

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LAUGHING MATTERS Merits

Schooled

Submitted by Richard Reno

Submitted by Kevin Ray

A cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the pearly gates. St. Peter asked the cowboy, “Have you ever done anything of particular merit?”

“Well, I can think of one thing,” said the cowboy. “On a trip to the Black Hills of South Dakota I came upon a gang of bikers who were harassing a young woman. I told them to leave her alone, but they wouldn’t listen. So I walked up to the biggest, baddest, most tattooed biker, and punched him in the face, ripped out his earring and tossed it to the ground, then kicked his bike over. I then yelled, “Now back off or I’ll kick the snot out of every last one of you!”

A college professor reminds her class of tomorrow’s final exam.

“Now class, I won’t tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow.

I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness or death in your immediate family, but that’s it.

No other excuses!”

Impressed, St. Peter asked, “When did this happen?”

A smart-ass student in the back of the room raises his hand and asks, “What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?”

The entire class laughs and snickers.

When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and says sweetly, “Well, I guess you’d have to write the exam with your other hand.”

The cowboy replied, “A couple of minutes ago.”

Visiting Fruita

SEPTEMBER 2016

precision of an Amsterdam diamond cutter.

Submitted by Nola Stephens

My niece from California recently visited my husband and me. We were driving in Fruita, heading up to the Colorado National Monument and Glade Park for a picnic, and happened to drive past the Dinosaur Museum. As we drove past, I mentioned how we might go visit the museum during her stay, as she might find it interesting. My husband also began to talk of the many dinosaurs they’d recovered from the local landscapes. My niece, who is beginning to have hearing problems, soon spoke up from the backseat and said, “Pardon me, but why would Dinah Shore have a museum here in Fruita, Colorado?”

Needless to say, we laughed all the way up the monument.

2. You have reached the conclusion that it’s not such a good idea to clean your own gutters.

10 signs you are aging gracefully

8. You can take the time to stop, bend over and smell the roses. (At least that’s what you hope people will think when you have a sudden

Submitted by Charles Gross

1. You can split your pills with the

3. An open fly isn’t quite the embarrassment it used to be.

4. Gray hair makes you look distinguished. You should have dyed it years ago.

5. You can be thankful you didn’t marry that high school sweetheart.

Ran into them the other day, and BOY, have they aged…

6. You’re glad you didn’t waste any more time learning to program that VCR years ago.

7. You have achieved a lifetime of useful knowledge and learned your parents were right all along.

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attack of gas.)

9. You survived the ’60s with no apparent brain damage.

10. You can skimp on the grandkids’ gifts once in awhile. Of course it upsets them, but what are they going to do? Cut you out of their will?

The prescription Submitted by Genevra Shal

A seemingly nice and respectable lady went into a pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist and said, “I would like to buy some cyanide.”

The pharmacist asked, “Why in the world do you need cyanide?”

The lady replied, “I need it to poison my husband.”

The pharmacist’s eyes got big. “I can’t give you cyanide to kill your husband,” he exclaimed, “that’s against the law! I’ll lose my license! They’ll throw us both in jail! Absolutely not!”

The lady reached into her purse and

pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist’s wife.

The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, “You didn’t tell me you had a prescription.”

Comedian favorites “My dad used to say, ‘Always fight fire with fire,’ which is probably why he got thrown out of the fire brigade.”

- Harry Hill “A scout troop consists of 12 little kids dressed like schmucks following a big schmuck dressed like a kid.”

- Jack Benny “I’m on the patch right now where it releases small dosages of approval until I no longer crave it, and then I’m gonna rip it off.”

- Ellen DeGeneres “The New England Journal of Medicine reports that nine out of 10 doctors agree that one out of 10 doctors is an idiot.”

- Jay Leno ■

VETERANS

Find out about transit options available to you!

ALL POINTS TRANSIT Dial-A-Ride for Seniors

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Information on Taxis, Regional Bus Routes

More information visit www.allpointstransit.org/veterans or to schedule a ride call 970-240-4698

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TRAVEL

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SEPTEMB

The Netherlands: A top spot for charm

By Victor Block

W

orld-class museums stand shoulder to shoulder with flower markets festooned by rainbows of color. People crowded into cafes and pubs chat and sip coffee and watch the passing traffic, which consists of as many bicycles as automobiles.

This is the setting in one of the greatest small cities in the world, which is the capital of one of the smallest countries in Europe. But anything that the Netherlands may lack in dimension, being only about half the size of Maine, it more than makes up in diversity.

First-time visitors soon understand why the name Netherlands, which means “lower countries,” fits. Much of the land has been reclaimed from

the North Sea and lakes, and more than one-quarter of the pancake-flat area is beneath sea level. It’s protected by an elaborate drainage system of canals, dikes and pumping stations.

Windmills pump water back over the dikes, as well as mill flour and other grains.

Amsterdam offers appeals that would make a much larger metropolis proud. A web of 17th-century canals crisscross the city, and boat tours are a popular way to take in many sights. Elegant homes that were built by wealthy residents during the 17th century “Golden Age” overlook the canals and cobblestone streets.

Belying Amsterdam’s modest size are more than 70 museums, ranging from world-class to intimate. The

Rijksmuseum, the country’s national showplace, houses the most extensive collection of Dutch paintings in the world. The 17th-century exhibit includes nearly two dozen Rembrandts, enough alone to warrant a visit.

A priceless collection of works by Rembrandt also resides in the Rembrandthuis, where the artist lived from 1639 to 1658. My favorite was the “View of Amsterdam,” which was painted in 1640 and depicts a row of windmills lined up like soldiers in formation.

The Van Gogh Museum contains the largest number of masterpieces by that renowned artist. They include about 200 paintings and 500 drawings.

Much smaller, yet certainly as well known, is the Anne Frank House. In this narrow townhouse, the young Jewish girl hid with her family for more than two years during the German occupation of the Netherlands in World War II. Among items on view are Anne’s hand-written diaries. Her observations and reminiscences, some heartening, others chilling, have been translated into more than 50 languages.

Village charm Among the many reasons to enjoy what Amsterdam has to offer, there are many more that warrant visits to several of the country’s rural villages. Their tranquil charms and laid-back personality present a different, yet equally as appealing, face.

Delft was once the world center for production of graceful Royal Delft Pottery, with 32 factories that produced ceramics with the distinctive blue and white colors.

While only one factory remains,

BER 2016

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the town also has buildings dating from as early as the 13th century, along with museums, markets and other attractions.

The area around IJsselmeer Lake is dotted with inviting old towns, including the fishing villages of Monnickendam, Marken and Volendam, the cheese town Edam and historic Hoorn, Enkhuizen and Stavoren, A different experience awaits visitors to Giethoorn, a village that is reached by water and prohibits the use of cars.

Locals traverse the four miles of canals in small flat-bottom boats, and many farmhouses have a thatched roof dating back to the 18th century.

A contrasting atmosphere is encountered in Maastricht, a city of about 120,000 residents at the southernmost tip of the Netherlands. It combines some of the best features of the country with touches of France and Belgium. The result is an enticing amalgam of history, sightseeing and activities.

The people exhibit the characteristic Dutch friendliness and dry sense of humor. The joie de vivre of the French is evident in crowded cafes, tempting patisseries and boutiques displaying the latest Paris fashions. Even the surrounding countryside provides a different touch. It resembles the rolling hills of nearby Belgium more than the flat lowlands characteristic of most of the Netherlands.

Residents of Maastricht revel in their city’s reputation as a place for fun and frivolity.

They’re quick to point out the statue of the Spirit of Maas, a dancing sprite that combines a look of joy with a hint of naughtiness. They also note that their town contains a church for every week of the year, but a bar for every day.

At the same time, locals take pride in their city’s history and reminders of its past. It has some 1,450 historic buildings and monuments. Most are crowded into the town center. The mid-17th century Stadhuis (city hall) boasts an interesting interior decorated with Brussels tapestries and painted ceilings.

The medieval Basilica of St. Servatius was begun in the sixth century, making it the oldest house of worship in the Netherlands.

Of particular interest is the largest bell in the country, a 150,000-pound clanger affectionately called “Grameer” (Grandmother), and ancient crypts.

Even a local hotel, the Derlon, has its claim to fame, with an archeological area in the basement which spans several centuries. On view are sections of a pre-Roman cobblestone road, part of a second-century Roman square, and the remains of a wall and gate from the fourth century.

For more information about the Netherlands, visit www.holland.com. ■

TRAVEL 13

FUN & GAMES

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Turn to page 23 for your puzzle answers Across 1 Serling’s was “twilit” 5 Dynasty of French kings 10 Passport authorization 14 Where to put one’s dough?

15 Socrates shopped here 16 Mr. Roberts 17 Jet or set name 18 Wayward one 20 Overly proud 22 Irritating 23 Supported weight 24 Skating rink, e.g.

26 Wayward one 30 The one on a five 33 The first sign 34 “Me, oh, my” 35 By way of 36 Cheese coating 37 Dromedary 39 Used E-mail 40 Cousin of “hmmm!”

41 December 26 event 42 Vulcan’s realm 43 No spring chicken 44 Wayward one 47 Take out on the town 48 Grunge

49 Following 52 Ivory pounders 56 Wayward one 59 “Hello, hello, hello,” e.g.

60 Julie’s “Doctor Zhivago” role 61 Prize money 62 Horsy hue 63 Etc. relative 64 Lies adjacent 65 Long nip Across 1 Dreyfus defender 2 Ham’s relinquishing word 3 In the neighborhood 4 Joined 5 Old Testament “Promised land” 6 Order of the day 7 Wordly one?

8 Commit a faux pas 9 Lincoln youngster 10 Certain letter 11 Tees off 12 He “got” polio 13 Treaty brother 19 Precious stones 21 “Here ___ nothing!”

24 Rubberneck 25 Tender entree 26 Henry Wells’ partner 27 “The Tempest” spirit 28 User-friendly paper 29 Identified 30 Alleges as fact 31 Game of chance 32 Worn away 37 Tiger’s wheels?

38 Socotra island export 39 Norman Jewison’s “A ___ Story” 41 Fire starter 42 Subject of a Debussy “afternoon” 45 Most chilling?

46 Raisins’ predecessors 47 Decorative sticker 49 “___ to leap tall buildings …”

50 Soho apartment 51 Seat of Irish kings 52 Tacna’s country 53 Barge on Boston Bay 54 Cuisine choice 55 Dance partner?

57 Jetted bath 58 Center of activity

For the puzzle answers see page 23

Colors of New England

SEPTEMBER 2016

FUN & GAMES

14

Crossword Puzzle

SEPTEMBER 2016

HOME & GARDEN 15

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Prepare for fall planting and fertilizing

Garden Smarts, By Kathy Kimbrough Q. How do I get started incorpo-

rating companion planting in my vegetable garden and landscape next year?

Companion planting can mean different things. It can mean combining plants that mutually benefit each other by balancing the pests and predators, visually improving the landscape, or increasing yields in a vegetable garden.

For example, marigolds planted in the vegetable garden ward off insect pests.

A three sisters garden is where the corn becomes a trellis for beans, the beans provide nitrogen for the corn and the squash’s large leaves are used to shade out weeds. In the landscape, planting a ground cover under trees and shrubs conserves water, restricts weed growth and shades roots. While there is no scientific evidence to support many of the plant associations, there are still many benefits to these combinations.

Research different ways to use companion planting to your advantage.

Keep good records and a close eye

on what works and what doesn’t.

Q. How late can I apply fertilizer

to my lawn, landscape trees and shrubs?

Fertilizing your lawn in the fall is one of the best things you can do for it. In Colorado, timing of fertilization applications is crucial. For deciduous trees and shrubs, apply a complete fertilizer that has the approximate ratio of three parts nitrogen, one part phosphorous and one part potassium after the leaves have dropped off so the plant is able to harden off properly. Evergreens such as pines, spruces and firs could also benefit from fertilization. Late season fertilization should be done when the grass is still green and growing, which is usually until mid-November. To avoid burning the lawn, you must water right after applying the fertilizer. Do not use a slow release fertilizer for the fall application. Cooling soil temperatures slow microbial activity and limit the availability of such fertilizers to the grass. Urea, IBDU, sulfur coated urea

PLANT OF THE MONTH— Maximilian Sunflower— Helianthus maximiliani

Fall is my favorite time of year, so I appreciate flowers like the Maximilian sunflower that choose this time of the year to bloom. This towering perennial requires full sun, moderate watering and good drainage, and can reach up to eight feet tall and Photo by High Country Gardens spread four feet across. Bright yellow blossoms unfurl on the top half and the deep green foliage is attractive all season long. This sunflower puts on a show mid-September through the end of October. It looks great against a fence or wall but it can also be an effective specimen plant in the open landscape. Deer and rabbits don’t bother the sunflower but birds love the seeds, and bees and butterflies love the nectar and pollen. Cut back the stalks after blooming for a tidier appearance through the winter and early spring. Dried flower heads can be left on the ground for the birds.

and ammonium sulfate are good sources of nitrogen for late-season fertilizer applications.

Q. Is there a local USDA hardiness

zone map that can give me some guidance when buying plants for my garden?

I have heard from long-time gardeners that USDA hardiness zones mean very little in Colorado because of our elevation changes and microclimates throughout the state. But for those who need a bit more guidance for planting, Colorado State University Extension has created a local hardiness zone map to show the temperature differences at different altitudes. West Delta County is primarily made up of zones 6A and 6B while the eastern part is 5B, 5A and a little 4B. Portions of Montrose County are marked as 6B, 6A, 5B, 5A and 4B. The higher in elevation, the lower the zone.

Keep in mind these are only guidelines for winter hardiness and temperatures vary from year to year.

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My advice is to use the zone maps for guidance and talk to your local extension office or garden center staff to find out which plants are truly hardy in your area. ■

GARDEN CHECKLIST:  Buy and plant spring-

blooming bulbs  It’s still a great time to plant.

Air temps have dropped but the soil temps are still warm for root development.  Seed or sod new Kentucky

blue grass or tall fescue lawns.

Reseed sparse grass now, too.  Plant garlic for next summer’s

harvest.

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SEPTEMBER 2016

Seniors urge politicians: Take stand on Social Security

By Eric Galatas, Public News Service - CO

E

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ntitlement reform is a hotly debated issue, especially during presidential elections. But once in office, officials rarely want to touch what some call the “third rail” of U.S. politics.

The last time Social Security was adjusted to ensure long-term solvency was during the Reagan administration.

In response, AARP has launched a national campaign, Take A Stand (takeastand.aarp.org).

Bob Murphy, state director for AARP Colorado, said it’s time to get politicians to commit to making Social Security a priority and put concrete proposals on the table to safeguard the program.

“We want to try to achieve a solution for Social Security solvency sooner rather than later,” Murphy said. “It’s not going to get any easier, it’s not going to get any less expensive if we continue to kick this can down the road.”

Murphy explained the goal is to get all candidates seeking national office to lay out at least one plan that would make Social Security financially sound so future generations get adequate benefits.

He stressed that AARP isn’t advocating for any particular plan or candidate, but said now is the time to move the program into the 21st century.

Murphy noted keeping Social Security strong also makes good business sense. The program contributes $20 billion annually in Colorado, according to AARP’s most recent research.

He added that if public officials don’t take action, future retirees could lose up to $10,000 a year. He said those cuts would be devastating for the vast majority of the state’s recipients who get by on an average of $1,200 a month.

“Social Security is a program that works,” he said. “Americans pay into it, and they certainly are expecting to rely on Social Security for some or, in some cases, all of their retirement living.”

Murphy predicted that, since Colorado is set to be a battleground state again in November, the campaign is in a good position to press candidates at every level to commit to a serious conversation about how to keep Social Security strong, now and for future generations. ■

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REGION 10 Education & Support Events will be held at Region 10, 300 N. Cascade Ave. in Montrose, unless stated otherwise. Registration is required, but all sessions are free.

Aging and Disability Resources for Colorado (ADRC) meetings Monthly meetings alternate between Delta and Montrose. Next meeting is at 9:30 a.m. on September 13 at Region 10. Call 765-3127 for details.

Managing ongoing health conditions This chronic self-management program focuses on working with your doctor, managing medications, exercise, relaxation and managing symptoms. Class meets once a week for six weeks in Delta. For prices and information, call 399-3615.

Support Groups • Kinship Connections Support Group is for individuals raising children that are not their own. Group meets monthly from 6 p.m.-8 p.m. on the first Thursdays at Region 10. Call 765-3127.

• Caregiver Support & Networking Group is a resource-filled and confidential environment for caregivers to learn from one another about caring for loved ones. Group meets from 1:30 p.m.-2:30 p.m. at Region 10.

Call 765-3123.

ADRC strengthens presence in Delta County

By Eva Veitch

R

egion 10 Community Living Services operates ADRC in Montrose, Delta, Gunnison, Hinsdale, Ouray and San Miguel counties. Out of those areas, the highest population of seniors living in poverty is in Delta County.

To help seniors in Delta County, Region 10 has hired Caitlin Williams who comes with great case management experience and a passion for serving Delta County. She and her family reside in Cedaredge, so she is familiar with the area and eager to get involved with each Delta County community.

Region 10’s office at 145 W. Fourth St. in Delta will be offering a variety of educational programs, chronic disease self-management and Matter of Balance classes in addition to resources, referrals and application assistance.

ADRC is committed to helping seniors remain in their community of choice and provides a full scope of information and assistance for disabled and older adults. A little bit of support is usually

EDUCATION Application Assistance Clinics These free clinics assist seniors or disabled persons apply for benefits. No appointment needed.

• Montrose - 1 p.m.-2:30 p.m. on second and fourth Tuesdays of the month at Region 10. Call 765-3123.

• Delta - 1 p.m.-2:30 p.m. on the first and third Thursdays of the month at 145 W. Fourth St. Call 399-3615.

• San Miguel County - 10:30 a.m.11:30 a.m. monthly on fourth Wednesdays. Location varies. Call 428-4047.

SEPTEMBER 10 Medicare and you SHIP counselors provide one-on-one counseling sessions to help you navigate the Medicare system from 10 a.m. to noon at Region 10. Seminar is free.

Call 249-2436, ext. 213, for details.

SEPTEMBER 15 AARP Driver Safety Course Class from 8:30 a.m.-1 p.m. at Montrose County Health and Human Services, 1845 S. Townsend Ave. Cost is $15 for AARP members and $20 for nonmembers. Preregistration required.

Call 765-3128. ■

Did you know?

all that’s required to help older adults remain at home. Transportation, home delivered meals, homemaker services and caregiver support are all offered to eligible consumers through the Older Americans Act. ADRC is made up of over 35 area partners who collectively seek to improve services for older and disabled adults. The ADRC will meet at the Grand Mesa Oncology Building in Delta every other month and continue to meet at Region 10 in Montrose in the off months.

ADRC will host this year’s Delta County Senior Expo on October 27 at Bill Heddles Recreation Center. This expo will provide older adults and their caregivers information, resources and support with a full slate of educational programs, interaction with area vendors and lunch catered by DeVito’s. The event is free but registration is required by calling 765-3125.

To contact Region 10’s Delta office, call 399-3615. ■

Region 10 has a full slate of educational opportunities!

Check out our website at www.region10.net for upcoming programs.

Serving Delta, Gunnison, Hinsdale, Montrose, Ouray, & San Miguel Counties

300 N. Cascade Ave., Ste. 1 Montrose, CO 81401

(970) 249-2436 Fax 970-249-2488

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MONTROSE/DELTA COUNTIES

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SEPTEMBER 2016

Montrose/Delta Calendar SEPTEMBER 6 Historical Legends and True Tales walk The walks tell the unknown stories of Montrose. Discover what hidden stories happened behind the closed doors of our historic downtown buildings.

You will uncover the locations of jails, saloons and speakeasies and learn the hidden secrets of Montrose. Walk starts at the Montrose County Historical Museum, 21 N. Rio Grande, at 6 p.m. There is limited space so please RSVP. Cost is $5. For more information, call 249-2085.

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SEPTEMBER 11 Are you a history detective?

The Montrose County Historical Museum is introducing its fifth installment of the Sunday History Series from 3 p.m.- 5 p.m. Learn how to date your photos and view many of the historical photos that are archived in the museum.

Cost is $5. For more information, call 249-2085.

displays and informational booths, this event will educate the public about aviation, aerospace and the capabilities of Montrose Regional Airport from 9 a.m.-4 p.m. Free admission. Call 2493433 for more information.

SEPTEMBER 10 Symphony in the Park Head to Cedaredge Town Park for this annual event. Contact 856-6961 for more information.

SEPTEMBER 11 Savor the San Juans Savor the flavor of the Western Slope!

If you have an interest in great kitchens and great food, mark your calendar for the fourth annual local foods, chefs and home tour. Savor the San Juans showcases local agriculture and nearly 60 other local businesses, including contractors, florists, bakers, vintners, and home design specialists in support of two area nonprofits. A limited number of tickets are available to the public.

Tickets are $40 and are available for sale at www.valleyfoodpartnership.org/ savorthesanjuans. For more information, visit the website or call 249-3900.

SEPTEMBER 6-12 World War II Bomber Tour Come check out the B-25, an actual combat airplane from World War II. Tour the inside of the airplane for SEPTEMBER 15 $5 from 9 a.m.-5 p.m. at Montrose BeaconFest Regional Airport. No cost to viewBOO the MERCelebrate aging with the BEACON Se& SEN IOR FAIR outside of the airplane. Rides are availnior Newspaper and our readers at the able as well. Cost of ride varies. Call Montrose-Delta BeaconFest Boomer & 249-1508 for more information.

Senior Fair from 9 a.m.-2 p.m. at the Montrose Pavilion, 1800 Pavilion Drive.

SEPTEMBER 8 Downtown DeltaFest Celebrate with the community every month at Downtown DeltaFest on Main Street in Delta. Live music, kids crafts and activities, and tons of vendor booths will be available.

SEPTEMBER 10 Tribute to Aviation Weekend Featuring current military, war bird and vintage aircraft

SEPTEMBER 2016

www.BeaconSeniorNews.com

This year’s BeaconFest features an exciting lineup of entertainment, free food, lively seminars and informative booths from over 50 senior-related businesses. Admission is free! For more information, call 243-8829 or visit www.

BeaconSeniorNews.com.

SEPTEMBER 15 Cruise Cedaredge Car enthusiasts are encouraged to come cruise Cedaredge Town Park and show off their rides. 5 p.m.-8 p.m.

Call 856-6961 for details.

SEPTEMBER 17 Colorado Mountain Winefest Colorado Mountain Winefest is the state’s largest and oldest wine festival bringing in thousands of wine lovers from all over the world. Saturday’s Festival in the Park takes place at Riverbend Park in Palisade, featuring live entertainment, unlimited wine samples, a commemorative tasting glass, a wine tote and the chance to buy wine directly from the winemakers. Tickets start at $50 ($25 for non-drinkers). Call 4640111 or visit www.coloradowinefest. com to learn more.

SEPTEMBER 17 Grandview Cemetery Tour Cemetery tour starts at 4 p.m. at the Montrose County Historical Museum.

Learn about the history behind burial traditions, along with the stories of our earliest community members in the oldest part of the cemetery. Space is limited, so please RSVP at 249-2085.

Cost is $10.

SEPTEMBER 23-25 Equine Euphoria Workshop Join the Metaphorse Riding Group for a three-day workshop working with horses to learn about yourself and how to live authentically. Call 275-9076 for more information.

SEPTEMBER 24 Music on the Green Come and enjoy an outdoor concert at Riverbottom Park, presented by Senior CommUnity Care for the benefit of the Senior Community Care’s Therapeutic

Recreation Program. There will be four bands, food and drink from 4:30 p.m.8:30 p.m. Be sure to bring your lawn chairs! Free admission. Call 275-1220 for more information.

SEPTEMBER 24-25 Color Sunday Weekend at Powderhorn Autumn offers a vivid panorama of colors on the aspen trees at Powderhorn Mountain Resort. Take a scenic lift ride to the top of the mountain, walk around and enjoy nature, or make the quick 20-minute round trip. Artists from The Palette will host a painting session up on the sunset grill. Grab your friends and family and enjoy the colors with live music, food and spirits.

Call 268-5700 or visit www.powder horn.com for details.

SEPTEMBER 26 Pumpkin Patch and Hayrides at the Covered Bridge Pick your perfect pumpkin at the pumpkin patch and enjoy a perfect fall day and special family events on this 300-acre scenic ranch starting at 11 a.m. Activities include a pumpkin patch, hayrides, hay bale maze, haystack tunnel slide, treasure hunt, giant haystack climb, farm animals and campfire marshmallow roast. Activities and refreshments are included in the $5 admission charge. Group tours are given by appointment. Covered Bridge Ranch is open for the season from 3 p.m.-6 p.m. Wednesday through Friday and 11 a.m.-5 p.m. Saturday through Sunday. Call 240-0106 for details.

SEPTEMBER 29 Cedaredge Fire Department Chili Cook-Off Drop off your chili early afternoon to enter the contest. Entrance forms available at Cedaredge Food Town and Chamber of Commerce. Cook-off at the Cedaredge Fire Department takes place from 5 p.m.-8 p.m. ■

MONTROSE/DELTA COUNTIES 19

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SEPTEMBER 2016

Montrose/Delta Beacon Bits The Montrose Community Band wants you!

Do you play a percussion, wind or brass instrument and want to dust it off and play with a concert band again? Now is the time, as rehearsals are taking place for the Montrose Community Band’s upcoming fall concert on September 25. Join us at 7 p.m. on Monday evenings in the Montrose High School Band Room. All ages, skill levels and instruments are welcome. Call Tina at 596-1188 or visit www.montroseband. com more information.

“Moonlight & Magnolias” opens September 9 Magic Circle Players open their 57th season with the comedy “Moonlight & Magnolias” at 7:30 p.m. on September 9. Evening performances continue on September 10, 16-17 and 23-24, with Sunday matinees at 2 p.m. on September 11 and 18. The play is set in the Hollywood studio office of legendary film producer David O. Selznick. In 1939, after a two-year search for a leading lady, the movie of Margaret Mitchell’s best-selling epic novel, “Gone with the Wind” is finally in production.

Three weeks later, Selznick (played by Jim Mitchell), in a frantic effort to save the movie from disaster, has fired the uncooperative director and shut down the set due to a flawed script. He hires one of Hollywood’s most respected writers, Ben Hecht (played by M. A. Smith) to rewrite the script, and takes director Victor Fleming (played by Bob Dietrich) off the set of “The Wizard of Oz” to replace the former director. The only hitch is that Hecht can only give him one week, and he hasn’t read the popular novel. Due to adult themes, situations and language, parental discretion is advised. Magic Circle Theatre is located at 420 S. 12th St. in Montrose.

For information or tickets visit www. magiccircleplayers.com or call 2497838.

Powerful Tools for Caregivers Presented by Region 10 and Montrose County, this program helps family caregivers reduce stress, improve self-confidence, communicate feelings better, balance their lives, increase their ability

to make tough decisions and locate helpful resources. Classes consist of six sessions held once a week from 1 p.m.3:30 p.m. The courses will be taught by experienced caregivers who have successfully applied the techniques they teach. Interactive lessons, discussions and brainstorming will help caregivers develop the tools they need to maintain their peace of mind. A $25 donation is requested for participants over the age of 60, but not required. Participants under the age of 60 are required to pay the $25. Powerful Tools will start September 26 at Montrose County Health & Human Services, 1845 South Townsend Ave. For more information or to register, contact Sandy Walker at 765-3131 or sandy@region10.net.

Participants can also register at www. region10.net/powerfultools.

National ranking gives MMH four stars for second year in a row Montrose Memorial Hospital (MMH) is a four-star hospital for the second year in a row according to the latest Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services (CMS) report. The Hospital Consumer Assessment of Healthcare Providers and Systems (HCAHPS) is a national survey that asks patients about their experiences during a recent hospital stay. The results are then publicly reported at www.hospitalcompare.hhs.gov. Over 4,500 hospitals in the U.S. were ranked from one to five stars.

Montrose Senior Activities The Montrose Recreation District has the following activities scheduled for seniors 50 and older. Register one week ahead. Events take place at the Montrose Pavilion, 1800 Pavilion Dr., or transportation departs from the Montrose Pavilion. Please arrive at each event at least 15 minutes early.

For more information on the following activities, call 252-4884.

• Tour of Redlands Mesa - 8:30 a.m.-4:30 p.m. September 10. Tour the Redlands Mesa Grange and the farmers market. Enjoy a farm-to-table luncheon with your choice of buffalo, elk, alpaca or veggie chili. Cost is $34 (includes lunch and tour). Meet at the Aquatic Center.

SEPTEMBER 2016

MONTROSE/DELTA COUNTIES 21

www.BeaconSeniorNews.com

Club Activities

Alpine Photography Club meets at 7 p.m. Tuesday, September 13 in the St. Paul room at St. Mary Catholic Church, 1855 St. Mary’s Dr. in Montrose.

There will be a photography presentations and photo sharing. Email apcmontroseco@gmail.com for details.

Black Canyon Camera Club meets monthly at 11 a.m. to noon on the second Tuesdays. Stay from noon to 1 p.m. for a workshop. Meet at the First Church of God, 1102 Howard St. in Delta. Visit www.blackcanyoncam eraclub.org for details.

Black Canyon Classics Car Club meets monthly on the first Tuesdays.

The club is open to all ages interested in classic cars, street rods, trucks and other vehicles. For meeting time and location, call 240-1881.

Montrose Amateur Radio Club meets monthly at 7 p.m. on the third Fridays at the Olathe Community Center. Call 417-6142.

• Ute Mountain Casino - 6:45 a.m.7:30 p.m. September 13. Relax at the slot machines and enjoy a discount on lunch and free play. Register early as space is limited. Cost is $45. Bring money for lunch.

• ARTum Festival in Crested Butte - 8:30 a.m.-3 p.m. September 17. Lovers of fine arts and crafts will find an array of artisans and crafters displaying and selling their unique creations in pottery, sculpture, glass, jewelry, fashion, home décor, accessories, furniture and photography. Cost is $20. Bring money for lunch. Meet at the Aquatic Center.

Montrose Pavilion Dance Club hosts dances at the Montrose Pavilion from 7:30 p.m.-11 p.m. on the second and fourth Saturdays of the month. Enjoy great music, snacks and refreshments. Dancers of all ages are welcome. Please bring a snack to share. Cost is $5. Call 252-7172.

Montrose Women’s Club meets for monthly luncheons at noon on the third Mondays, September through May. All Montrose area women are invited to attend. For location and more information, call Lexy Stevenson at 275-3336.

Western Slope 4 Wheelers meets monthly at 7 p.m. on the first Tuesdays at the Montrose Rod & Gun Club’s indoor range, 1211 6450 Road in Montrose.

Call Ken at 596-5111.

Wild Bunch 4WD Club meets at Flower Motor in Montrose. For dates and times, email desertrat27@hotmail.com.

• Ranger-led interpretive hike - 8:45 a.m.-2 p.m. September 20. Take a 2-mile round trip on Oak Flats Trail, which offers superb glimpses into the heart of the Black Canyon of the Gunnison. Cost is $18. Bring a sack lunch.

<<

You’re Invited >>

• Fall Colors Drive over Kebler Pass - 8:15 a.m.-4:30 p.m. September 27.

You will be inundated with autumn glory on this trip. The ruddy colors of the Ruby Range make for a radiant contrast with the golden aspens below. Cost is $18. Bring a sack lunch.

M O N T RO S E- D E LTA

FREE Admission, Entertainment, seminars & food!

September 15, 2016 9 am - 2 pm

Montrose Pavilion, Montrose FOR INFORMATION CALL 970-243-8829

Thank you members!

Join us for Member Appreciation Days as we celebrate what truly makes us great - you! Stop by our offices for delicious pastries, warm drinks, and great conversation. Come and go as you please. We’ll be on hand to answer any questions you might have about DMEA or our new internet company, Elevate Fiber. Plus, take part in the ribbon cutting ceremony for our new member experience center at the Montrose Headquarters.

October 26 • 9:00 - 11:00am • Read Service Center >> October 28 • 9:00 - 11:00am • Montrose Headquarters >>

877.687.3632 >> www.dmea.com >> join.elevatefiber.com >>

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SEPTEMBER 2016

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GET AWAY FOR A WEEK EVERY YEAR. Selling one bedroom fully furnished Tahiti Village deeded time share on South Las Vegas Blvd., Nevada.

Asking $8,500. Call for more information. 210-6885.

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FUN & GAMES Game answers from page 14

A penny mentality in America

By Glenn Mollette

I

had just parked my car in a city parking lot when I heard the cries of a loud voice.

“Sir, please give me a penny!

Please just a penny,” he pled.

I continued to walk because I do not like being verbally accosted by a stranger. I was in an unfamiliar part of town and felt spooked by his sudden appearance.

I have been asked for a dollar hundreds of times from street beggars but never a penny. I thought to myself, “Wow, how low can a guy go?” On many occasions I have handed people a couple of dollars or $5. Never have I been asked for a penny.

Once my family and I stopped at a light and this man was begging for money and we gave him $10.

As soon as he had it in his hand he smiled saying he now had enough for a bottle of whiskey. We shook our heads and felt like fools for helping the guy.

Once my wife and I were walking to our favorite candy store. We saw a woman eating a sandwich and a man pled for her to give it to him. She appeared to have eaten a bite or two from it. He took it right from her hands and ravished that sandwich. The guy was obviously starving.

You really never know who is a daily panhandler and who is truly suffering. Many Americans are on welfare and are sleeping on the streets or on park benches. I hope the election this fall will bring change. We must make a major stride in a different direction or we are going to lose this country.

We cannot afford more welfare, more illegal immigrants, more jobs exported out of America and a weaker military. I personally think this election is America’s defining moment in history. The Supreme

Court justices that will be appointed the next four or eight years will have a major impact on the future of America.

Back to the penny beggar. I seldom have a penny but I did have a quarter. I gave the man a quarter. He immediately wanted more change.

“Wait a minute, sir, you said you wanted a penny.”

“Yes, but I need more change for a bottle of water,” he pled.

The man looked to be in his late 20s. I was beginning to think of handing him $5 or maybe even $10.

But I asked him, “Why aren’t you working a job?”

Without missing a beat he replied, “I can’t work a job because I would lose my check.”

“What? You would lose your check?”

I then asked him how much he received each month and he said, “Seven hundred and some dollars.”

“Sir,” I replied, “You could make more money if you would just work as hard as you are begging me and others for money.”

He actually nodded his head and agreed.

I did not give him any more money. Maybe I should have but his attitude of “I will not work because I prefer to subsist on government assistance” has become too prevalent in America.

We cannot live on pennies and welfare in America. This is not real life. It’s time for a change. It’s time for real jobs to come back to America. It’s time for us to defend our borders, build up our military and repair our infrastructure. We have to get off this status quo lifestyle of mediocrity and being comfortable in poverty. This is not the America our parents built. We can’t go from a dollar mentality to a penny mentality because after this, there is no lower to go. ■

kudos \ ku·dos  “I submitted these side-splitters way back in February but I’m sure somehow they managed to get lost in the holiday shuffle. Never fear, I kept a copy and am resubmitting them for your careful consideration. Since there are no holidays in August you can take more time to savor the fine beauty of these wonderfully crafted jests. (No more Internet rip-offs for the BEACON readers, please. These sophisticates expect better. Don’t they? Of course they do!) So, go ahead: Peruse, muse, hold them up to the light like a fine wine, lay them aside, then decide. I am certain you will find them worthy of your fine publication.”- Charles Gross Cloie: I love this guy! Not only do I love how dedicated he is to sending us jokes but isn’t this letter just great? It made me laugh more than the jokes did.

To BEACON readers: Speaking of which, we’d love to publish the jokes you find funny. Submit your jokes to beacon@pendantpublishing.com or P.O. Box 3895, Grand Junction, CO 81502.

 “Thank you for your Transitions in Aging section this last month. It was helpful to me and my mother for whom I care for. Besides the really good articles we liked the cartoon on the front.

We have taped it to our refrigerator to remind us where we’re at, in case we forget.” - Julia K., Montrose  “Thank you Costa Vida for your coupon in the BEACON. My husband and I now eat here once a week. You have really good food. Thank you!” Amanda T., Fruita

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