Reading—A beer with Baz It was ‘G’days’ all round, a nod here and there, an ‘I’ll look into that’ and an ‘I’ll get back to you’ as Mick navigated a verbal obstacle course with patrons from the bar to the table. He placed15th two2017 full schooners of beer with now sunken heads and one glass of Vol finally 16 September 28 December 7th, 2017 Vol 48 April 27th 2018 water on the table. He passed a schooner to Bazza, steadied the other on a chair under the table and placed the glass of water in front of him. Mick then got out his mobile phone flicked open the camera app, pushed the video record bu>on and posi=oned it against an empty glass between them taking in Bazza’s stunned mullet look ‘I’m on the Mayoral elec=on campaign trail, Bazza. I need to connect up on social media so I’ve decided to make my own reality video. I’m recording my days and edit later on and then post them up at night so the cons=tuents can follow me. The Missus loves the idea. She is filming me doing all her housework so I can shore up the female vote. It’s a bit annoying though because I have to sneak out to the back shed to have a beer so that she doesn’t catch me on film.’ Bazza shook his head and took a sip of his beer. ‘You’re all over it Mick. I hope you are going to spare us a shower scene.’ ‘Keep it serious, Barry. Now, it would be good if you could nod every now and then with a serious face, just like the first row of parliamentarians behind Sco Mo during Ques=on Time. Also, when I give you a kick under the table I want you to laugh to prove I’m an everyday bloke. It’s important to keep it real.’ Mick grabbed the schooner from under the table, took a long drink and returned it, adjusted his =e, pulled a comb from his pocket and straightened his hair. He li@ed his glass of water, winked at the phone and clicked glasses with Bazza. ‘You see Bazza it’s all about geFng followers on social media to the point where I become what is called an ‘influencer’. The more followers, the more influence and the more votes. I’m also chasing the younger demographic. I might even get you to help me with the making of a Tik Tok but you would have a pre>y minor role.’ Bazza took a very long drink. ‘I’d be happy to help out, Mick. Old Ron down at the Men’s Shed might be more helpful, his family is from Switzerland and his dad was a clockmaker.’ A loud ‘Good onya, Mick’ from across the bar automa=cally had Mick’s full smile swivelling the room like a laughing clown mannequin at a circus side show and Bazza eyed the white cue ball on the pool table. ‘Now Baz, the idea is to empathise with the shire through this reality video. I’m running with the slogan PUTTING YOU INTO EUROBODALLA SHIRE. Bazza rubbed his chin to conceal a wide smile. ‘I reckon I’m up to speed with you, Mick. You boost your popularity with your reality video. People follow your every move and are influenced by you and vote accordingly. You bring it all together under the slogan PUTTING THE EWE INTO EUROBODALLA SHIRE. It’s a bloody good pun, Mick.’ Have a beer with Baz at john.longhurst59@gmail.com beagle weekly : Vol 210 June 4th 2021
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