Reading—A beer with Baz Bazza looked up, straightened his back and widened his eyes, like every other patron in the front bar. Mick, with mobile phone strapped over his face mask, made his way to the bar Voltable 16 September 15th 2017 with two full schooners. 28 April December 7th, 2017 Vol 48 27th 2018
‘There you go Bazza.’ He then adjusted his smart watch and in a perfect Gough Whitlam voice impersona7on repeated “There you….. go…. Bazza.’ Mick removed his mask/phone whilst Bazza shook his head. They both enjoyed a long sip of beer. ‘You’re looking at the future, Bazza. I’ve combined a face mask with a smart phone and am calling it a SMARTASK. It allows you to tap in without juggling your phone. It’s s7ll in the development stage but I reckon I’m onto a winner. I actually tried to give Gladys a call but she is a bit busy at the moment.’ Bazza responded ‘You beAer make sure it’s not a silent ‘k’ in your marke7ng, but good luck with that, Mick. Apart from the inconvenience of wearing the bloody things, I find it hard to communicate when you cannot read people’s faces. I couldn’t separate the spin from the truth the other night when I was watching your mate Sco Mo with a face mask, explaining why we need an army general to rollout the COVID vaccina7ons. I was a bit disappointed he did not call it Opera7on ‘something’.’ ‘Now Bazza, the SMARTASK will solve all your problems and there will be no need to remove it from your face. Not only will it get you into any venue in NSW, It will have facial recogni7on that will log into the interests, likes, dislikes and opinions of anyone you meet. You can then start up a chat with anyone you like with immediate empathy. All very handy for my campaign for Mayor at the upcoming council elec7ons.’ Bazza rubbed his chin for some 7me and took a long sip of his beer. ‘Let me get this straight, Mick. Sco Mo could put the SMARTASK on and drop into this pub and start up a yarn with me about the things I’m interested in?’ Mick took a short sip of his beer. ‘You’re catching on, Bazza. In fact, under the premium model he can conduct the conversa7on in a voice that the research shows you like, by adjus7ng his smart watch.’ A smile stretched across Bazza’s face. ‘Sounds great, Mick. Sco Mo could drop in, tap on the QR code, use Gough Whitlam’s voice to have a yarn and empathise with me about the shortcomings of our current Prime Minister, and all without removing the SMARTASK.’ ‘Yeah well, I take your warning about the silent ‘k’, Bazza.’ ‘As good as it sounds Mick, I s7ll reckon if Ned Kelly dropped in, he would say “You call that a mask?’ Have a beer with Baz at john.longhurst59@gmail.com
beagle weekly : Vol 216 July 16th 2021
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