BCF- OCTOBER 2020

EVERYTHING GOOD Myra Wallace-Walker

We have all heard the saying everything good must come to an end. I say, create a bridge to something greater! As with most things in life, there is a timeline of existence. The book of Ecclesiastes says it best; “To everything there is a season, a time to every purpose under heaven.“ It is to that point that I now address you.

The journey of Beauty Come Forth began with a conversation over 12 years ago, with Sharon Elliott, a dear friend whom I admire for her uncanny knack to push others into their greatness. We were discussing the outline for her upcoming Milk & Honey Women’s Retreat when I began to passionately express my thoughts on the shallowness of the fashion and beauty industry. She immediately responded, “You need to write the book about it”. I immediately responded, “No…… I am a designer, not a writer. “ She then proceeded to educate me on the importance of having a platform from which to speak. Then she added that anyone who has a platform to speak, needs to write a book to offer to their audience.

Lastly, every author needs a platform from which to speak. Still in denial, I agreed to pray about it, and as the saying goes, the rest is history.

So, what does that book have to do with this magazine? Everything, you see that book, Beauty Come Forth- Unleash The Beauty Within was the foundation for which this magazine was built. The book was birthed out of my belief that every woman deserves to be appreciated, recognized, and celebrated as her authentic self. Unfortunately, the cruel demands of society forced us to put that desire on the back burner and forge ahead, burying those innate desires to feel beautiful.

Something comes alive inside of a woman when told she is beautiful. As a woman she recognizes that being beautiful is more than an expression of your outward appearance. Beauty is more than being pretty or attractive. Beauty speaks to something deeper, more complete. It is

a place where you accept that there is nothing lacking, nothing broken and nothing missing. That became my mission for the book and for this magazine.

Today, as I reflected on this beautiful journey and all those that joined me, I am reminded of the powerful statement that was birthed out of the Beauty Come Forth Movement. The acronym that empowers women to live F.A.B.U.L.O.U.S every day, is woven throughout every chapter of the book and in every issue of the magazine. We stayed the course and remained true to its mission. It is now my hope that as I address you in this final issue of Beauty Come Forth Online Magazine, that all who have journeyed with us, will openly embrace their beauty within. Our previous issues will still be available online at www.BeautyComeForth.com. Therefore, when you feel the need to get some inspiration, motivation and transformation, just look us up.

I don’t see this as good-bye or even as the end. I see Opportunity across the bridge encouraging me to step over into the unknown and allow God to do what he does best, CREATE! See you on the other side.

Thank you for your support and encouragement over the past 11 years. I pray EVERYTHING GOOD over your life and when you think of Beauty Come Forth, remember to always:

Forgive Yourself Accept Yourself Believe in Yourself Understand Yourself Love Yourself Organize Yourself Unleash Yourself Salute Yourself

CLICK HERE TO SIGN PETITION

No One Else But Me! Here I am- like me or not.

Accept me or reject me- It’s your choice.

Just don’t try to change me ‘cause I can’t be no one else but me.

I know I have faults- but they are mine not yours. Only I can work on them.

You must work on your own.

Don’t expect me to be something that I'm not in order to please you.

I am not a cloud. I can not change my inner shape with every blow of the wind.

I am who I am and that’s who I’ll be.

I can’t be no one else but me.

I am trying to follow my purpose in life and you may not understand why I may do some of the things I do.

That is because we are different and we have different paths that we must walk, although our final destination may be the same.

Let’s learn to appreciate our differences because you can only be who you are and I can’t be no one else but me

By Wendy Marie Reynolds

By Stacy McClendon Trailblazers Fire throwers Non-mistakens

Rocking the curly fro, long silky strands, locks, braids and more Paying homage to your lineage Beauty’s crown worn Cannot be contained Many shades of color Smooth as caramel, midnight skies, sunshine hues ...and ALL in between Queens from God’s era of divinity

Searching, combing, crawling Ancestral linkage internal Never forgotten

Tap Tap Hands up to the sky Pray to the heavenlies to open the skies Let loose wisdoms hues

Clutch courage’s shield Wear loves cloak Link with other sisters Push through impossibilities No reallies Oh no please Leave me be

Always remembering You‘re never alone Always watched Angelically covered Unique and magnificent journey uncovered Stories of transformative exaltment Waiting to be shared Awards & records broken Risks taken New roads traveled Never stoppin Rockin and rollin Never ever controlling

Content on shedding and giving Repeat

Never complete Always reaching Always powerful Blazing a new generation Set to follow Your footsteps Powerful beyond measure Magnetic treasures await you Wielding your powers Raining pristine showers Treading lightly not

Knowing from whence you came and where you’re headed Shaken and stirred never deserted Back sides and front covered Head to tippies No one can stop your kingdom

Never shrinkin’ from your beautiful story Or letting the shades divide Use it all to build bridges and reach skies Email: stacluv@gmail.com Facebook: Stacy Mc Instagram: butterflyfree73 Twitter: @butterflyfree73

Dear Black Man By: Nailah Sabah

Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and Instagram, to name a few, are popular social media accounts.

Like most of you I have multiple accounts and in 2009 I started out with Facebook. Well actually it was Myspace, but I’m not sure if we count that anymore. After Facebook, I moved on to Instagram. For me, Instagram is for me to “show out” as it were and post the most salacious memes to put a smile on everyone’s face. Facebook is where my dad is and well, I don’t have time to have that conversation with him and what I post.

Recently, I have put more time into Facebook due to a group I joined. It is a group whose mission is to have conversations between black men and women. As you can imagine, a group with such varying personalities can get heated, but the members are like minded individuals and respect is paramount. One of the male administrators of the group asked the women to write a general apology letter to all black men. Initially I said no. Me apologize? To who? For what? I was offended that he would ask me to complete such an outlandish request. I was the one that was hurt from a past relationship. So there was no way I was going to apologize. As I continued to stew in my pride, this nagging feeling would not escape me. The more I thought about it the more I realized that our black men needed to hear a collective voice of humility, remorse, and rebuilding. Some may never hear these words, or some have but may need a friendly reminder.

So, there I was, just a random girl in a new group about to apologize collectively to the black men in our group. For any man who needs to hear words of affirmation due to the increasing negative climate we live in, please allow my words to heal any wounds you may have.

Dear Black Man, Please know that I am intentional in saying “man” because I want you to singularly hear my words directed to you. The very nature and presence of your stature commands strength, power, and

dominance. The very sight of you is pleasing to every eye even those cloaked in hate. You were, are, and forever will be the epitome of what those seek to become.

I apologize for every woman that refused to honor you. Refused to acknowledge your role in the family and in society. I’m sorry that the pain you feel goes unnoticed. I’m sorry that when you finally choose to open yourself up, it is met with disrespect and disdain, which causes you to retreat into your shell. Not trusting. Fending for yourself. we, as black women, have forgotten that alone we can manage but together, with you, we are amazing, unstoppable, and can tear down any stronghold. There is no us without you.

The power that is within you is admonished yet also feared. You can walk into any room and command a presence that is unmatched. The range and hues of your melanin is so delightful. If compared to taste, it is sweet as honey and we are inexplicably attracted to you.

Your touch is delicate and yet firm, showing me the range of your emotions. I understand now that there are layers to you. I’m sorry for the woman who refused to take the time to learn every piece of you. She was unwilling to take the steps with you in this life. Unfortunately, she saw you with an untrained eye and not one that was able to see the man God was sculpting you to be. The man that would walk with her in life, as her protector, her shield, her love.

A simple touch and earnest look from you, pierces our very soul. We are drawn to the very essence of you. Please don’t let anyone ever make you feel that you have no value. You are priceless and we love you.

I can’t promise that every woman will feel this way but know this woman does. There are more of us out there that do. To whomever my future may hold, just know that I will love you, build with you, dream with you, and pour into you so you will never be depleted again. Don’t worry about the world and what troubles may come, because when you cross the threshold of our home, I will always continue to remind you of who you are.

Who am I, you ask? I am just a black woman, with a black father, with a black son who loves the Black Man. In Love, The Black Woman msnailahsabah@gmail.com Instagram: Nailah.Sabah

By Teri Jones and Candace Howze

Ever since Senator Kamala Harris has been named the Democratic vice president nominee, the political critics have referred to her as an “angry Black woman.” We, on the other hand, are rejoicing that for the first time in history a woman of color representing two minority groups has been nominated as vice president of the Democratic Party ticket. Kamala’s father was Jamaican and her mother was from India.

Most notably, there was President Donald Trump’s initial remarks about Harris after she dropped out of the presidential candidacy. “She left the presidential race angry. She left mad. There was nobody more insulting to Biden than she was.” Another political ad even portrayed an aging Biden offering to hand the nation over “to this little brown girl.”

More often than not, many politicians are often characterized as being “tough” or “harsh” toward an opponent during the political candidacy. Nevertheless, Harris was specifically labeled as “angry.” Michelle Obama was often characterized the same way when she spoke out passionately and publicly. This is an example of “misogyny” which is the specific hatred, dislike and prejudice directed toward Black women.

One of the many damaging effects of misogynistic profiles is that they both demonize and invalidate righteous anger. By discounting our passions and creating a negative connotation around the subject of anger, Black women are pushed into a corner of silence and discouraged from expressing an aggressive emotion.

Our anger gives birth to petitions, protests, and peaceful demonstrations. It powers organizations and inspires people to lift up their voices. Demonizing anger is a barrier to progress. After all,

anger is a strong feeling of displeasure. We must be able to identify the problem and our dissatisfaction with it. There are certainly a great deal of things to be dissatisfied about in the present political climate.

Here are a few: 1. More than 180,000 COVID-19 fatalities 2. The active and intentional destruction of the U.S. Postal Service 3. Millions of people applied for unemployment 4. Police brutality cases across the U.S. 5. Violence against Black men across the U.S. 6. Social unrest across the U.S. 7. Malfunctioning online technology in schools across the U.S. 8. Violence against women 9. Over crowded prisons 10. Thousands of immigrant children being separated from their parents 11. Homeless populations being ignored 12. The problem of joblessness growing 13. The mental illness population growing 14. Alcoholism and opioid addiction growing 15. Systemic racism and sexism This list goes on and on…

We have to make our voices heard so our nation could be better. I know anger is what made Michelle Obama’s speech at the Democratic National Convention so powerful and so widely praised. I know that our American freedoms come with the responsibility for us to be watchdogs of those in power. That anything falling short of our American ideals should indeed make us angry.

If we lack anger in the face of corruption, we will fall head first into a state of apathy, which is a direct threat to our future. People may call Kamala Harris or Michelle Obama “angry” as if they have no right to be dissatisfied. But we have to ask ourselves: are we satisfied with Donald Trump’s administration? Are we satisfied with another Black man being shot in the back ? I think not! We shoutout to all the angry Black women who are living, loving, and still persisting despite the challenges that stand in our way. In whatever means necessary, be sure you get out and vote in this November election. Maybe then we can stop being angry and REJOICE in the victory.

Shero Nation—The Movement

By Dawn Shine Women have been fighting their entire lives for equality. Interestingly, in these chaotic times, there seems to be hope. A front-runner has emerged to galvanize us to the call for self-discovery and empowerment, so that we no longer have to posture ourselves as our male counterparts for success. This trailblazer has a powerful message which she has placed in a book titled, The Inevitable Rise of the Shero Nation.

Author and speaker, Dr. Barbara Walker-Green has done extensive research on the topics of women's empowerment and gender equality. She has spent years developing the framework and following the chain of evidence which supports the basis for this book. In the book, she identified the real enemy and the key issues that have kept us fighting. Surprisingly, men are not our enemy. Dr. Green affirms that our real enemy is not visible, nor is it an intentional enemy. No wonder we have spent centuries fighting an invisible foe!

Dr. Green says that we have been “shadow-boxing� this invisible enemy and struggling with invisible barriers throughout the ages. This struggle has not only weighed heavily on us emotionally, but it has also served as a distraction, as we have fallen into the traps and pits of trying to break the glass ceiling that permeates corporations, schools, and society. We compete against men, striving to prove our abilities within a system that was built to leverage theirs. In her book, The Inevitable Rise of the Shero Nation, Dr. Green uncovers what is happening in terms of the

evolution of our role in society and also provides a roadmap for understanding our history, and our power, so that we can be propelled into a liberating future where we effectively utilize our Godgiven proclivities and resoluteness to live in cooperation with our male counterparts—and not as fierce competitors. The book also goes a step further and reveals the ammunition necessary to effectively war against this invisible foe.

Dr. Green defines a Shero as a woman who stands in her own truth, no matter how difficult it may be. She further states that the Shero Nation is a collective movement, likened to a tsunami which starts afar off as a ripple and then builds into the powerful force that reaches the shore. This movement has been fueled by the strength and brokenness of our predecessors. They bore the foundation of this movement on their backs as they endured the weight of struggling in silence, because their voices were muted. They were the original Sheroes.

Sheroes come in all walks of life and is not limited by race, ethnicity, geographic location, or social status. Sheroes are those on the sidelines as well as those who are actually holding the banner. We all have the potential to be a Shero. The grandmother who watches her grandchildren, imparting timeless wisdom, is a Shero. The single mother, working and attending classes to better position her family is a Shero. The politician who works tirelessly to pass legislation that secures our rights is a Shero. When we realize who we are and how we were designed, we will be able to thrive in our own strengths.

The Inevitable Rise of the Shero Nation is a book with a message for all women. It is not based on feelings or culture, but it is driven by evidence-based research and volumes of data. Dr. Green wrote this book realizing that understanding our journey is critical to being able to propel ourselves into a better future where we are not struggling for power but are leveraging our innate power as women to work in tandem with men. This book is not about male bashing, but about developing an awareness and appreciation about our differences and how those differences, when embraced and effectively utilized, will result in the true liberating experience of equality.

The Inevitable Rise of the Shero Nation is not just a movement—it is a lifestyle, encouraging women to realign themselves according to their God-given strengths and abilities. It is about not allowing culture, systems, and politics to define us. The author personally commits to this lifestyle and has developed a motto for her home of which challenges her family to look beyond consumerism and build a legacy which will impact three generations.

For more information, visit https://www.sheronation.life/.

An Ode to Chadwick Boseman

By Lanette White In light of our brother, Chadwick Boseman’s, un-timely death, it is only fitting that we highlight this Marvel Comic’s character and cultural icon, the Black Panther. One of the great quotes from the movie was from Nakia, who said to T’Challa “You get to decide what kind of king you are going to be.” Is that not the truth for all of us?

Although we all wished for this Utopia known as Wakanda to be reality, it was not. However, there are some aspects of the mythical Black Panther and the black jaguar found in America that are similar and bear a strong resemblance to Chadwick Boseman, as well.

To begin with, there are three distinctive characteristics of this black cat. First off, is its black skin.

The black skin allows the jaguar to hunt its prey undetected under the cloak of darkness. Its skin gives it an unparalleled advantage over other animals. It also has incredible eyesight, which allows it to see its prey in the dark. Lastly, the black jaguar has the third strongest bite amongst felids according to an article entitled, Fun Panther Facts for Kids on sciencekids.com. It is third only to the lion and the tiger. This is extremely significant because there is little that deters what the jaguar is determined to latch onto.

Like the jaguar, Chadwick Boseman, was a brother who possessed a lot of melanin. He wore his dark skin proudly and well. Just like the jaguar, he also hid his colon cancer and symptoms from the world and tackled roles like Black Panther in four Marvel franchise movies, an upcoming Disney+ animated series called “What If…?” and a trumpet player named, Levi in the Netflix film “Ma Rainey,” starring opposite Viola Davis. No one outside of his circle knew his pain or struggle. He persevered stealthily and with dignity like the warrior he was.

Additionally, Chadwick had incredible vision. He saw early on in his career that he was going to be typecast and decided that he did not want to represent Black people in a stereotypical way,

so he chose roles such as Jackie Robinson in 42. His compelling and brilliant portrayal of Robinson led to him being able to play Thurgood Marshall in the film Marshall and James Brown in the film Get On Up. Finally, like the jaguar, he latched on to his dream/purpose to entertain through acting. By playing such iconic roles, Chadwick was not bound by the work that was offered. He refused to keep playing the thug or drug dealer that he was initially casted in on All My Children, and was let go once he voiced his opinion about the stereotype. As a result, he started writing plays that would promote positive images for Black viewers, while also displaying his talent. His tenacity and talent led him to become the cultural icon, King T’Challa, which will be remembered for many years to come. He ruled his personal kingdom with pride, vision and tenacity. What kind of ruler will you be? _____________________________________________________________________________________________ Works Cited https://www.sciencekids.co.nz/sciencefacts/animals/panther.html

By Teri Jones

What Do I Wear to the Polling Place?

Do I dress in my Sunday best like Ida B. Wells, Hair neatly pulled in back, a small string of pearls around my neck Dress flowing, boots polished, Clean from head to toe Don’t want to give a reason for them to say “No!” What Do I Wear to the Polling Place?

Do I wear a dress like Fannie Lou Hamer Do I have to pass the literacy test?

Will I have to withstand being arrested or beaten Or some unknown crime that I must confess What do I wear to the Polling Place?

Do I wear a suit like Coretta Scott King With a matching hat and white gloves, Am I locking arms with the massive crowd As we sing, “We Shall Overcome,” What Do I wear to the Polling Place?

Am I styling my big, soft Afro and black leather jacket With my fist clenched high up towards the clouds Like Fredrika Newton am I shouting loud, Yes, I’m Black and I’m proud!

What do I wear to the Polling Place?

Do I wear a business suit and high heeled shoes like Barbara Jordan or Shirley Chisholm Both were catalysts for change In the Civil Rights Movement

Not afraid to speak their voice, lest the laws stay the same What do I wear to the Polling Place?

Does not matter what you wear, Pants, dress, suit, jacket or jeans Mail it in, walk it in, Stand in line if you have to, Take a snack, wear comfortable shoes But whatever you decide to wear What DOES matter is that you go and VOTE!

By Detective Ronald D. Jones,( Retired)

“ I parked it here yesterday, when I woke up this morning it was gone.” That is the phrase I've heard over five hundred times. Today’s topic will focus on automobile retention and recovery.

It requires time and planning to protect your car from being stolen. However, let me state for the record that car theft is not one hundred percent preventable. A thief with determination and resources will always be able to steal your car.

Full coverage insurance will give you peace of mind if your car is stolen, vandalized or found with parts missing. (i.e. tires, windshield, doors etc). Keep copies of your vehicle information inside your home. This will help reduce stress and save time when reporting your car stolen. Most people have not memorized their insurance and vehicle information (Year, make, model and license plate number). Please be patient with the Officer completing the report. He will be asking questions that you may feel are unimportant. He will be doing his best to determine if your car is indeed stolen and not misplaced or repossessed. He is protecting you and his police department from liability. The driver of your car will not encounter friendly officers when he is found inside your vehicle. A certain amount of containment and control will be used to apprehend the driver. Circumstances of the theft must be reported clearly and concisely.

Don’t leave your driver’s license, credit or debit cards, mail, check book, purse or wallet in your car. The thief could assume your identity with any of those items. That will complicate your life for many years. Please don’t bring attention to your car by having expensive clothing, sunglasses, tools, cell phones or anything of value visible from the street or sidewalk.

It would be a great investment to take advantage of today’s technology. There are systems that will alert you by text or a phone call any time your car is being moved

without your permission. Lots of cars are being stolen while you are sleeping. The thief will be long gone before you wake up. Technology companies have directed me to the exact location of stolen cars via their tracking systems. Most times the thief is still in the car and is horrified when my partner and I arrive to make the arrest.

I would be remiss if I didn’t report that technology can also work against you. Some cars have a key fob that can remotely lock or start your car. That device sends out a signal or command that talks to a computer inside your car. There are devices that can catch and duplicate your signal. The thief can use the signal to unlock or start your car.

We have all exited our cars and closed the door. While walking away, we press the button on the key fob to lock the door. That is the precise time the thief activates his device and captures your signal. When you return, either your car or its contents are missing. You can’t remember locking the car because you were focused on trying to get to your destination. To avoid getting your signal captured, simply manually lock your car doors by pressing the button on the driver’s door. The key fob will not send out a signal to the car’s computer.

Many cars are stolen because we are so consumed with our phones. I have watched hours of video that has shown a person exit his/her car while on the phone. The thief followed the person into a grocery or clothing store. While the person is distracted pushing a shopping cart and talking on the phone, the thief removed the car keys from the cart or purse. Exited the store, walked directly to the victim’s car and drove away with it. The victim is shocked when they return to where they parked the car and cannot find it. They are even more confused when they discover their keys missing.

Lastly, I have taken several reports that indicated the victim left their car engine running while they were a few feet away. The thief entered the car and drove away leaving the victim stranded in amazement. I know this sounds like if “ Common Sense” was used, this last scenario would not have occurred. My mother always says, “ Common Sense ain’t Common”. Stay vigilant family. “ Watch your Six” ( Watch your Back) Ronald D. Jones Retired Los Angeles Police Detective

By Chris L. Gilrath II

It is Sunday night the second day of the weekend. Instead of basking in the glow of the Sabbath, a day of rest, you are sitting on your couch unable to focus. You are worried about Monday and the pressures that come from your supervisor. Ever been there?

It can keep people calm during a crisis. With this skill, you can empower others to see the best in themselves. It is a quality that every job and every business must have to survive; it is effective leadership.

In careers such as lawyers, doctors, and teachers, managers must develop and continue developing their skills and craft to grow and improve themselves. Staff depends on outstanding leadership to thrive and increase their productivity and skill sets. We are seeing the consequences of ineffective leadership from our top leaders right now. Our current crisis requires robust and reliable leaders willing to listen and do what is best for all those who look to them in times like these. Failure to be a great leader can have dire consequences. According to a Gallup poll done in 2018, Gallup studied 7,272 adults and found that onehalf had quit a job because of a bad manager. In my 28-year career, I have worked with several leaders and managers that have taught me very different lessons. Good or bad, I have nevertheless learned from them.

Most importantly, I have learned what good leadership looks like and what lousy leadership is. It inspired me to become a leader and manager.

Throughout my career, I have taken on leadership positions.

I even obtained my Bachelor of Arts in Management. But learning the science of Management and leadership is not enough. For me, it is a skill that I must continue to learn and develop. The best way to do that is to learn from my staff and work with them, not above them. For me to be an effective leader, these characteristics help me thrive as a subordinate and help my employees thrive.

Traits of a Good Effective Leader: ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ●

Sets forth clear expectations to the team and explains the purpose.

Continues to develop pieces of training that enhance employee growth.

Looks at the problem, not the person.

Works with employees on the front line.

Is always approachable and accessible.

Uses positive reinforcement, even when dealing with poor performance.

Acknowledges outstanding performance and accomplishments whenever possible.

Regularly checks in with front line staff, not just when an issue arises.

Identifies leaders within the team and begins to develop their skills.

Understands company goals and objectives and continues to communicate that to staff.

Celebrates small wins.

Hold staff accountable but reserves judgment.

Takes accountability for actions and does not make excuses.

Shares credit of accomplishments with frontline staff.

Understands the need for work/life balance.

Has employees feel empowered when a one on one meeting is complete.

Provides constant encouragement.

Traits of Ineffective Leadership: ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ●

Sets for expectations to the team without any purpose or simple guidelines.

Ridicules and humiliates employees consistently often in front of other staff members.

Uses fear-based management to get staff to get goals done (constant threats of write-ups, termination).

Not accessible and approachable.

Focuses only on company goals and the bottom line.

Makes employees feel bad for taking time off or taking a vacation.

Gets angry when employees call off sick.

Takes the credit on all accomplishments.

Unwilling to listen to ideas or take criticism.

Considers employees with conflicting opinions, "troublemakers" and "ones to watch."

Holds staff accountable for things he or she is unwilling to hold themselves responsible for.

Hovers over staff when things need to get done.

Has employee feeling humiliated or two-feet tall when a one on one meeting occurs.

As a manager, I am continually reviewing and checking myself to determine which of the traits I am using.

Let us look at the scenario below and look at how these traits above apply.

Scenario 1:

Billy is a Manager of a college that is responsible for enrolling a large number of students. Every month each of the Enrollment Advisors is responsible for registering new students into the program. Billy has noticed that Shelia has, for the last three months, only enrolled three students. Billy looks at Shelia numbers and is furious. He immediately yells at Shelia from his office and calls her in while everyone within earshot can hear. "Shelia, your performance is completely unacceptable and embarrassing! You only enrolled three students for the month! What is this?" Bill then proceeds with writing Shelia up. Shelia leaves the office totally humiliated and goes into the bathroom and sobs uncontrollably. She wants to take the rest of the day off but knows that would only get her in more trouble with her boss. From there, Shelia's work performance continues to decline until she ultimately decides to leave the company without another job. The stress was beginning to affect her physical and mental health.

Scenario 2: Billy notices Shelia's performance is down and calls her into the office. He sits Shelia down and starts to talk to her. "Hello, Shelia. Shelia, I want to reiterate how valuable you are at our company as an employee.

However, I have some concerns about your goals over the last two months. Last month you only enrolled three students, which is low. Is everything okay? What can I do to help support you? I need your help in increasing your productivity. I have every confidence in you that this can improve. As it turns out, Shelia was having difficulty juggling the many aspects of her role, and she and Billy worked together to help organize a plan. Within a month, Shelia's performance improved, and by the next month had increased substantially.

Which manager have you experienced? Which manager are you? Do not be so focused on the bottom line or the goals you lose sight of your staff. Your staff will go along for the ride, if you steer the ship correctly.

Email: clgil77@gmail.com www.chrisgilrath2.blogspot.com https://www.instagram.com/chrisgilrath2/ https://twitter.com/chrisgilrath2 https://www.facebook.com/chris.gilrathii

An Interview With Author, Million Heir-Williams

By Teri Jones

Million Heir Williams is the Boss Lady Beauty for October. She is a pastor, a counselor, a life coach, and an author. She has uncovered a hidden story dealing with the United States Marine Corps. Dealing with mental health is something that we as a community of color have failed to recognize. It’s something we don’t talk about because of shame, guilt and generational traditions. But Million Heir talks about it “loud and clear” in her book, Military Mom On A Mission.

Millicent Bernette McGowan was given the name “ Million” when she used to model in Los Angeles with a modeling troupe. The commentator said she looked like a million walking down the runway. At one point she contemplated changing her name. Later she asked the Lord during her quiet prayer time, “ should I change my name to “Million”. The Holy Spirit answered her clearly and distinctly. “ You are a million heir. You are the joint- heir to spiritual millions of my throne.” She never knew changing her name would impact people as much as it does. Now it has become a conversation piece when she attends conferences, seminars, or when asked to speak.

But what is the story behind her book, Military Mom on a Mission? It all began when Million and her three children were heading for a family reunion in North Carolina. Before going to North Carolina, they met up with her sister and her two sons in Virginia Beach. Prior to her family arriving at Virginia Beach, her nephews had already joined the Marine Corps. Her son, Jerome was with her on the trip.

While visiting his cousins, they convinced him to join the Marine Corps with them. Since Jerome was 23 years old at the time, he didn’t need his parents’ permission to join.

When they got back to the house, Jerome sat his mother down to inform her he would not be going back home with them because he had joined the Marines. She was stunned! The recruiter had reassured them they could get in on a special deal and the boys would be all together. When Million and her two other children boarded the plane, reality hit her REAL hard because Jerome’s seat was empty. She had to process it all. When they got home, she had to go to Jerome’s job and pick up his last check. Then she informed them, he would not be returning. Before leaving North Carolina, Million had to get evidence from the Marine Corps that he was officially property of the US Marine Corps.

It really hit Million when she went into Jerome's bedroom and he wasn’t there. She hoped it was all a dream. Then she started sobbing, bawling, screaming! What had just happened? She just couldn’t believe it was real. That became the new normal for her family. She knew she had to adjust to their new reality. But she knew the Lord was with her. One of her greatest strengths is her adaptability to change. Now her mind had to adjust to the new narrative.

For 13 weeks, Jerome attended the Marine bootcamp. Then Million flew to North Carolina to attend his graduation from bootcamp. From there he was transferred to Iraq. He was deployed for nine months but he stayed with the Marines until 2006. The Marine Corps headquarters was located in the same city where the family reunion was held. Million ended up moving to that same city in 2004. When Jerome finally discharged from the Marine Corps, they had a big celebration in Los Angeles. One of her close friends told her “Did you notice Jerome’s eyes?” For the first time she looked carefully at Jerome’s eyes and then she saw it! She said it looked like someone who had taken a stake and plunged it into her. When they returned to the North Carolina Marine Corps base, she took Jerome there for help. They felt like Jerome was property of the Marines. This was when her battle began.

The Marines didn’t want to accept any responsibility for Jerome’s condition. Nobody else would pick up the baton to fight for her son. Jerome hadn’t caused this kind of damage to himself. None of her children had ever been in trouble with the law or been rebellious teenagers. She felt like

she had to become an advocate for her son. If she had to sit on the White House steps to argue Jerome’s case with the federal government, she would do it.

Six weeks after being released from the military, Jerome had a full out breakdown.

Million and her husband had to have him involuntarily arrested by the military police.

Calling the police on your child when he’s not a criminal was extremely difficult. She never went to bed without talking to him a number of times to make sure he was okay.

Another time he got off his meds, Million had to have him involuntarily arrested again. She had become his counselor, his psychologist, and his therapist. Million had been in school at the time for entrepreneurialism; she then switched her major to psychology so she could get a better understanding of Jerome’s mental illness. She wanted to be able to fully support him. He had become bi-polar, schizophrenia with PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder). He was screaming “I’m not a criminal!” When he saw that his mother had turned him in, he was furious! That was the hardest thing for her to do but she knew she had to do it.

Million believes there’s mental illness in every family, but what separates them is the degrees of mental illness. “We come with generational curses; we come with life experiences; we come with a constant barrage of trauma daily. When women go through domestic violence that can breed mental illness. Black people who deal with poverty can breed mental illness.

Discrimination, prejudice, systemic racism: all of these things contribute to layers of mental illness. When we know something is wrong with a family member who is not acting right. We all know that is evidence of mental illness.” Million shared with me.

Million’s goal is to get this dialogue out into the community. She says we have to get past the sigma, the embarrassment , and the environment. All of these issues surround us and keep us from getting the help that we need. Million believes the African American community has shame, guilt and family barriers that prevent us from getting the help we need.

Without overcoming these issues, Million feels we can never be healthy as a community.

How do you think COVID will affect the problem of mental illness?

“Five years from now what our country looks like is a very scary sight. The effects of COVID is making it worse. People already had issues before COVID. Now you take the economic distress on top of it. It will be a big mess.”

Her initial inspiration for writing the book was her son, Jerome. But after a psychology class that she took called “Multi Cultural Counseling”. It delved into how different racial groups are dealing with discrimination. All levels of the military have systemic racism within their organizations.

In the appendix of the book, Million provides resources , statistics, and a glossary. In addition she provides a letter which can be used as a template for people who are dealing with mental illness and want to know how to phrase their letters. She wants the book to be available to veterans, military personnel, and on college campuses for psychology classes.

Million believes the sooner we can get people the help, the better we will be as a society and a community. Mental illness doesn’t have to be a death threat. She feels too many people are suffering in silence. Million wants to change that.

By Teri Jones

The flu vaccine is just one way to protect yourself from the disease. Since we don’t know how effective the vaccine will be from year to year, your safest course of action is to do all you can to strengthen your immune system. Here are some things for you to do and eat/drink to boost your immune system.

1. Increase your vitamin intake of Vitamins A, C, and E. Vitamin A is found in cod liver oil, eggs, orange and yellow fruits /vegetables, broccoli, spinach, and other dark green leafy vegetables. Vitamin C is a water soluble nutrient. In the body, it acts as an antioxidant helping to protect cells from damage caused by free radicals. It is found in cantaloupe, citrus fruits, kiwi, mangos, papaya, pineapple, strawberries, raspberries, blueberries, cranberries, and watermelon. Vitamin E is a fat soluble nutrient. It acts like an antioxidant like Vitamin C. Vitamin E is found in vegetable oils, wheat germ, almonds, peanuts, green leafy vegetables like spinach and broccoli.

2. Start each morning with a cup of green tea. It’s rich in antioxidants and improves the action of detoxifying enzymes in the liver. All of which boost our body’s defenses against acute contagious ailments, such as the flu. To increase absorption of green tea’s diseasefighting ingredients. Drink it at least 10 minutes before eating or 60 minutes after eating.

3. Load up on Omega-3 Fish Oils. Fresh, highquality, fish oil enhances the body’s resistance to disease. However, the capsules used for fish oil are thick and require a lot of digestive activity to be dissolved. Taking liquid fish oil improves absorption and helps protect against inadvertently taking fish oil has turned rancid. Rancid fish oil is bad for your health because it has oxidized which promotes harmful free radicals. It smells and tastes bad. It can also be extremely fishy and almost sour. Always take fish oil with a meal to maximize absorption. Take 2000 mg of liquid fish oil daily.

4. Beginning in mid-October, a blend of echinacea, Siberian ginseng, and licorice root. The typical dose of 60 drops of the combination in two ounces of water, twice daily at least 10 minutes before eating or 60 minutes after a meal. However, if you have high blood pressure, do not take licorice root. It can increase blood pressure in some people. Do equal parts of echinacea and ginseng and take 60 drops twice daily in water.

5. Don’t forget to wash your hands often.

6. Get plenty of rest. 6-8 hours of sleep per night.

7. Eat lots of fresh vegetables and fruit.

8. Drink plenty of water.

How Do You Protect Your House from the Flu Virus?

The flu is a virus that is carried on hard surfaces that many people touch. The flu virus can live on hard surfaces for 6-8 hours after someone with the flu may have touched. Therefore, it keep the flu germs out of your house, do the following things: 1. Wipe down all surfaces regularly with alcohol or clorox wipes. If you are in a grocery store, be sure to wipe down the cart before using it.

2. Make sure not to touch your face.

3. Wash your hands regularly for 20 seconds with warm water and soap.

4. If you catch the flu, be sure to take Motrin, Tylenol, or Ibuprofen. Get plenty of rest. Stay hydrated. Please stay HOME so you don’t expose others! After being exposed to the flu virus, you are contagious for 5-7 days.

By Steffanie Rivers: THEE Travel Diva

There are two things every person must do alone: Be born and die! But in the middle of a pandemic when social distancing rules everything around us, taking a vacation might be one more thing to consider doing alone.

My first solo vacation was supposed to be a beach getaway with my (then) boyfriend. Two days before our scheduled departure we argued about something trivial. Then he claimed he was an emotional wreck because of the argument, couldn’t get past it, and, therefore, didn’t want to go away with me. I thought it strange that we had switched roles. Usually I’m the one who would overthink our arguments. Later, I realized he started it on purpose to get out of our travel plans.

Instead of sitting around the house giving each other the silent treatment, I decided to go alone.

That was the beginning of the end of that relationship. That’s another story for another day.

My second solo vacation was supposed to be a girls’ trip to Bali, Indonesia. We chose Bali as our destination because GOOGLE said it had the most beautiful beaches in the world. This time there was no argument to speak of, just lots of procrastination during the planning stages. Except for the mandatory immunization shots, I assumed everybody was excited to go.

Then the red flags started to fly. There were comments about the 16 hour flight being too long. Then complaints about the number of days off from work being too many. The handwriting was on the wall.

Before I left my house , I asked myself “why couldn’t I keep a travel companion beyond the planning stages?” But it was a contemplation for another day, because I had a vacation to get to. So off we went: Me, myself and I. It turns out Bali is a great place for a solo vacation. Not because Julia Roberts went there in that Eat, Pray, Love movie. But for all the solitude and self-reflection I experienced during my 8 days

there. My hotel is better described as a private bungalow. Picture one of those straw huts on Gilligan’s Island. It had electricity, but no television. It had running water, but no tub. The WiFi service was spotty. But strong enough for me to watch CNN, Youtube, and send and receive emails on my laptop.

While I could have been content to stay on the resort property I wanted to experience all Bali had to offer. Therefore, I scheduled a lot of excursions: I took a guided bike tour around the countryside.

Biking is a group activity that allows participants to social distance.

During our three hour ride we visited students at an elementary school where they learned (ESL) English as a second language. We met farmers and learned why Indonesia is the world’s third largest producer of rice. We were guests of a Balinese family who hosted a luncheon for us at their village.

I signed up for a Balinese cooking class taught by a woman who quit her job as a chef on a cruise ship to start her own business. After she picked me up from my bungalow, we went to a farmer’s market to purchase ingredients used to prepare our meal. I walked away with a full belly and my very own Balinese cookbook. There were just a handful of us in the class. Every student had her/his own counter top stove. It was another group activity that lends itself to social distancing.

My Bali vacation would not have been complete had I not gone scuba diving. Even though my mother defends her aversion to swimming, she enrolled me in classes as an infant. I jump in every chance I get. In a pool, chlorine kills germs. In the ocean, sea salt has antibacterial properties.

Water activities are ideal during a pandemic, so long as people stay in the water and don’t gather poolside or on the beach.

Although scuba diving is an activity nobody should do alone – for safety reasons – there’s plenty of room on the ocean floor to share with a group of other divers. Every time I’m near an ocean I try to include a dive in my schedule. Most dive excursions are full of tourists. But I found a dive instructor who offered private dives for an extra fee.

He and I teamed up with another twosome.

The four of us drove an hour to Menjangan Island and spent the day underwater.

My last excursion was to be an early morning hike up an in-active volcano to watch the sun rise from the top. Then the schedule called for the group to white water raft down the other side of the volcano and eat breakfast before heading back to my humble abode. However, this was one excursion where it was mandatory for me to have at least two people in my party before I could book it. It was the only time during my solo vacation that I regretted traveling alone. I finished out my vacation with a mani-pedi.

As often as my schedule allowed, I made it a point to email my mother to let her know I had made it back to my bungalow alive and happy. That leads me to the Do’s and Don’ts of solo traveling, especially for women.

Rule number one: Share your written travel itinerary with family. Include dates, flight numbers, hotels, and phone numbers. Contact loved ones often during your trip to help them keep track of your movements. Also, make sure your cell phone tracker is turned on and family members have access to it. Just in case you disappear, they will know where to start the search. That’s real talk!

Rule number two: Never go out at night.That means club hopping is off limits. Don’t share your travel status with anyone who doesn’t need to know. Never invite strangers back to your hotel.

During a recent trip to Germany, I met a fellow tourist who invited me back to his hotel. Whether it’s his place or mine the answer was still ‘no.’ I’ll share that story next month.

Rule number three: If you plan to fly anywhere and have hours-long layovers at airports between flights, confirm the perks of your credit card(s). Some of them include discounts for car rentals, hotels, and access to priority lounges. Private lounges will help you relax, refresh, and recharge your devices in a private setting. Print out the information you’ll need in case your phone isn’t charged up or you need access and aren’t able to access your phone.

Rule number four: If you use credit cards, determine which ones offer airline miles in exchange for usage. Then cash in those miles to help pay for your travel.

The hardest part of my trip was maneuvering through airport security. Be sure to arrive at the airport at least two and a half hours before your flight is scheduled to depart. That should allow for any security delays, as well as leaving time for airport shopping, visiting that priority lounge, and finding your way to your gate. Of course, you always want to look like the queen that you are, not stressed or frazzled, but confident and classy!

Steffanie Rivers is a freelance journalist living in the Dallas-Ft. Worth metroplex. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter @TCBStef. Her book, The Do’s And Don’ts Of Flying: A Flight Attendant’s Guide To Airline Travel Secrets, is available at Amazon and other online retail bookstores.

Just Listen to Your Child

By Stacy McClendon

…and go on that impromptu vacay. I know COVID is still in our world and not over yet. Just take the necessary precautions and proceed.

My older son Lauren came to me at the beginning of August and asked me if we could go to San Francisco on his Birthday, which is August 25th. I thought of ALL that’s been going on in the world for a minute or two and decided to reschedule my rescheduled vacation plans in September to August 25th to honor and celebrate my son turning 22.

Lauren is my child that knows what he wants, when he wants it and hopefully you can keep up with him, and if not, he’s going to proceed on his plans anyway.

On day 1, I drove me, Lauren and my younger son Brendan from Santa Cruz on August 24th, and arrived at our cabin at the Santa Cruz KOA https://koa.com/campgrounds/santa-cruz/ around 9pm. The drive in was relaxing to say the least. There was no traffic, plenty of nature, trees and livestock to take in, as well as an eclectic mix of tunes DJ’d by Lauren. We settled into our cabin which was equivalent to a small tiny house with patio and amenities.

Definitely, ‘my happy place.’

Day 2 plans included a drive into San Francisco to see some sites, get some good eats and head into Muir Wood to witness God’s Wondrous Beauty. We set out on the road at about 10 am and ran into some traffic off the 17 freeway in Santa Cruz. We had to take a back route down Old Santa Cruz Road, to get around the traffic, which brought us by some beautiful homes tucked back in the canyon, surrounded by a luscious lake. So, the detour wasn’t all bad. It was necessary.

Once in San Francisco, we stopped at the gas station to fill up and get some sweet treats. While our gas pumped, a middle aged thin Hispanic gentleman with curly hair, that worked in the car repair shop, complimented me on my license plate which says, ‘Spread Love.’ I then told him how I wanted this for a number of years, and the phrase was available and spelled correctly when I decided to get it last summer.

It made me realize that it was something that I needed to do. I began to think, ‘what would the world look like, if everyone chose to live out this phrase daily?’ I’m sure our world would look a lot different than it does now.

Once in San Francisco, we went to Brenda’s https://frenchsoulfood.com/ to get some yummy French Soul Food. This place was recommended by my son’s mentor and his wife. I had the eggs benedict with fried chicken and cheesy grits and my boys had brioche french toast, eggs, bacon and sausage. We had to eat our food in the car due to COVID, which is not my favorite choice, as I love the dining experience.

My food was delicious! I believe that there was REAL kryptonite in my grits. My sons ate their food so quickly and raved about it.

We had to make a short trip to T-Mobile, as Lauren’s phone decided to break right in the middle of the trip. That is an absolute ‘no can do’ in his world, as my son uses his phone to accomplish much daily– social media, photos, songs, videos and films to name a few. So, T-Mobile is his friend to say the least!

His new phone needed to be ordered, which meant he had to use my phone for all his photos/video footage for the rest of the trip.

Next up, was Lombard Street. The guys went to explore, and I stayed in the car and relaxed until they returned.

Once they returned, we drove to Marin County around 5pm to go to Muir Woods National Monument www.nps.gov/muwo. This is the location where ‘Planet of the Apes’ was filmed. We decided to drive up around 5 and arrived at our destination and realized that it closed at 6pm, which was 40 minutes away.

The cost to get in was $15 per person. I had no problem paying the fee but wanted at least 1 ½ -2 hours to explore.

We decided to purchase items from the park store instead. Once we paid, the park staff told us we could go into the park for FREE since they were closing in 30 min. We were super pumped, took the opportunity to explore and even got some beautiful photos and video footage to show for it. This place has a history enveloped in a canopy of massive Redwood trees surrounding all sides.

On day 3 of our trip/ride home, our plan was to go to Big Sur and stop at Mckay Falls http://www.hikinginbigsur.com/hikes_mcwayfalls.html. We left at noon and made it to Big Sur. However, 3 minutes to Mckay Falls we were told by the Sheriff’s Department that we had to turn around and head back to where we came, as one of the Northern California fires was at McKay Falls, and the road we were traveling on was closed. Next time!

So, we headed back to Carmel and ended up taking Road 41, which took us past plenty of wineries in Pasa Robles, empty landscapes and we even saw James Dean’s last stop before his fateful ending. We got home around 10 pm, and Lauren thanked me for a Wonderful trip.

Lauren always says that ‘you must stick to your vision and adjust where necessary.’ We’ll do that multiple times on this trip.

So, to the reader I say, ‘where do you want to go?’ I know there’s a pandemic, unacceptable killings of black people, protests/riots, a pending election, weird climate change and more.

However, we must always take time to replenish and honor ourselves and our family, no matter what’s happening around us!

Email: stacluv@gmail.com Facebook: Stacy Mc Instagram: butterflyfree73 Twitter: @butterflyfree73

By Kymberly Bereal

2 lbs. Farfalle Pasta 1 15 oz. Bottle Italian Dressing ½ lb. Cherry Tomatoes (halved) 1 Medium Red Onion (Julienned) 1 3.8 oz. Jar sliced Black Olives 1 Half 16 oz. Jar of Pepperoncinis 1 Half Red Bell Pepper (Julienned) 1 Half Green Bell Pepper (Julienned) Salt, Pepper, Garlic Powder to taste Parsley (chopped) for Garnish

1. Boil pasta as directed on package 2. Cool Pasta Under running cold water; drain 3. In a bowl, combine all vegetables and pasta with dressing. Mix evenly.

4. Season to taste.

5. Garnish with parsley.

6. Refrigerate for 2 hours before