LETTER from the EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
THE REINVENTION ISSUE Reinvention. There are so many reasons why we look to “reinvent” or make changes in our lives. We could be recovering from a major health threat, we recognize a need for transformation due to a milestone birthday, or we’ve been let go from a job. Positive events also motivate us to reflect and seek change. Another motivation for change could be when a friend gets a promotion or moves away, or when someone we admire makes a bold change that inspires us. There’s an untruth about reinvention—that it’s about tossing out the “old” and exchanging it for something completely new. The power of reinvention lies in leveraging everything we’ve ever done…the successes and failures, the good, bad, and the ugly. Reinventing yourself actually thrives on the very real skills, insights, and expertise we have gained along the way. This issue is truly a beautiful one from start to finish. Our cover star Mel Robbins is a master at helping people reinvent their lives, businesses, and relationships. It was a no-brainer to have her on our cover as we kick off the new year, a time we’re all searching for new ways to live our best lives. Delve deep into her story starting on page 82. Another feature I’m excited to share in this issue is a very personal one. When I was growing up and seeking out someone to look up to, Vanessa Williams was the only person on TV that shared my name. Did you know it means “butterfly”? The metamorphosis that a caterpillar experiences to become one of the most beautiful creatures on earth is one I think we can all relate to. Meeting the Queen of Reinvention was truly a full-circle moment for me, and the BELLA team and I had such a blast dressing her up in old Hollywood flare. Her interview on pages 76-81 is one you’ll truly enjoy. A few other highlights in this issue include our fashion spread, “Untamed + Reclaimed,” showcasing fashion for every age, race and size on pages 22-33, as well as our Arts + Culture piece, in which we spotlight two incredible dancers redefining their craft despite major health setbacks (pages 70-75). We are wired to make a new story from experience. Whatever the motivation for your own reinvention this year, what is essential is that you continue to grow. Because any change—big or small—is the heart of reinvention. With much love and wishing you the best year ever,
Vanessa Coppes
behind
the
scenes
I made a list of three potential cover stars for this issue back in September. Mel Robbins was number 1, and when our entertainment editor Alexandra Anastasio messaged me about her, we jumped all over the opportunity. We can’t wait to celebrate the issue with her in February! Our Vanessa Williams’ shoot was also surreal. A combination of vintage pieces and old Hollywood charm selected by The Style Duo Mindy and Paula merged with the artistry of BELLA’s glam team Lauren Vena and Jennifer Capella. See for yourself in the beautiful shots captured by Vital Agibalow, featured on pages 76-81. Thank you, Janine + Claudine at Caravan Studio for helping us make the perfect venue selections for both our shoots. You can read more about the array of Douglas Elliman properties in the “Sophisticated Spaces” feature on pages 52-56. Thank you, Mary Petto (Law of Attraction coach, speaker, and author), Elizabeth and Jordan Osborne (All Things Divine Divas + Monat), Vivian Nacionales (Nacionales Nails), Jillian Coburn and Selima Harbison (cocreators of The Advent Box), Lisa Metz (Tori Belle Cosmetics), Caren Cooper (Isagenix), Diane Turton (author), Dr. Inna Lukyanovsky (author), D’Andra Simmons (Hard Night Good Morning Skincare), Denise Cesare (T-Suit), Dr. Anajani Singh (Preventive Measure 101), Maureen Spataro (Because She Is), Holly Daniels Christensen (Dune Jewelry), for gifting Mel and Vanessa at both our shoots. COVER STYLE: Black blazer: Lafayette 148 New York Shirt: Diane Von Furstenberg, Neiman Marcus Paramus Pants: Seventy
Vanessa Coppes Chief Executive Officer, Editor-in-Chief Gina LaGuardia, Editorial Director Jessica Licciardello, Creative Director Janene Mascarella, Beauty Director Alexandra Anastasio, Entertainment Editor Amanda Mactas, Food, Travel & Accessories Editor Mindy Shapiro Gura & Paula Shapiro Orlan, Stylists Jonathan Calixto, Fashion & Lifestyle Correspondent Alesha Lazan, Mind & Body Correspondent Norah Lawlor, Lifestyle Editor Jessica Cirz, Cover & Features Photographer Michele DiNardo, West Coast Editor
Jennifer DeCillis Publisher Cheryl Devine, Circulation Director Lynette Barbieri, Business Development Associate Jenna Guarneri, Public Relations
Contributors
Barbara Bellesi Zito, Jennifer Capella, Julie Davelman, Ph.D., Mary Foti, Brady Goodman-Williams, Ilsy J. Hoo, Kimberlee Ho, Allison Kugel, Tamar Snyder, Maureen Spataro, Jarrod Thalheimer, Lauren Vena
Medical Advisory Board
Dr. Ronit Gilad, Dr. Katherine Melzer-Ross, Dr. Soriaya Motivala, Dr. B. Aviva Preminger, Dr. David Schlessinger
BELLA TV
Star Shop Studios, NYC Jessica Cirz, Producer Danita Chantel, Host Jennifer DeCillis, Host Stephanie Giang, Contributor
BellaMag.co
Vanessa Coppes, CMO & Editor-in-Chief Jennifer DeCillis, Managing Editor Carly Kaplan, Editorial Assistant
Contributing Editors & Writers
Maxine Albert, Rose Aljure, Alexandra Anastasio, Kelly Bellucci, Jonathan Calixto, Tara Ciccone, Dionne Clarke, Brana Dane, Jennifer DeCillis, Ruta Fox, Inna Lapin, Jessica Licciardello, Dr. Robi Ludwig, Amanda Mactas, Janene Mascarella, Elena Murzello, Kristen Robertiello, Tambi Saffran, Roger Sands
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contributors
BRADY GOODMAN-WILLIAMS is a publicist and lifestyle writer based out of Denver, Colorado. He received a BBA from Emory University in marketing and sociology.
ALESHA LAZAN is a personal trainer/nutritionist and owner of Alesha Courtney Fitness. Follow her on Instagram @Alesha_Courtney, or at AleshaCourtneyFitness.com.
AMANDA MACTAS is the Food, Travel and Accessories Editor at BELLA Magazine. While you explore this issue, make sure to keep an eye out for her pieces on some of her favorite products, including KOW Steaks and Liquid I.V., as well as some of BELLA’s favorite bra brands and her regular column on the latest and great fashion happenings. You can follow more of her adventures on Instagram at @ManhattanTwist or on her blog ManhattanwithaTwist.com.
ALEXANDRA ANASTASIO, Entertainment Editor for BELLA Magazine, is a lifestyle writer with a knack for sharing stories about people—and pets! Follow her on Instagram @Alexandra_Anastasio or visit AlexandraAnastasio.com.
BELLA Beauty Director JANENE MASCARELLA has the answers to your burning beauty questions. She spends all day (and sometimes night!) dutifully dabbing, spritzing, spraying, and sampling all the beauty products. For 2020, she says skip the resolutions and start your own beauty revolution!
Need some fashion advice? Then look no further— BELLA’s Fashion and Lifestyle Correspondent JONATHAN CALIXTO has you covered. He’s on top of the latest trends as seen during NYFW, Miami Swim Week, and all the events in between. Stay tuned to what he is up to next via his Instagram @ThisisJCali.
JENNIFER DECILLIS is the Managing Editor for BellaMag.co, Publisher for BELLA Magazine and a BELLA TV host. Passionate about writing, fashion, beauty, travel and all things BELLA, you can follow along with her on Instagram @MissNYUS2016.
KIMBERLEE HO is a food photographer and baking blogger who loves sharing easy recipes and tips for busy people on her blog Kickassbaker. com. Follow her on Instagram @Kickassbaker.
All around beauty boss, JENNIFER CAPELLA is a certified makeup/lash artist and the founder of GlamLife Lounge in Maplewood, NJ. She worked her magic in this issue on a number of photo shoots, including our amazing cover model, Mel Robbins (pages 82-87), as well as the iconic Vanessa Williams (pages 76-81).
ALLISON KUGEL is a syndicated entertainment columnist, author of the memoir, “Journaling Fame: A memoir of a life unhinged and on the record,” and owner of communications firm, Full Scale Media. Follow her on Instagram @TheAllisonKugel and at AllisonKugel.com.
BARBARA BELLESI ZITO is a NYC-based freelance writer and social media strategist. She is the co-creator of WritersInTown.com, a site that keeps readers in the know about authors on tour.
Known for the best insights in the industry, pro makeup artist LAUREN VENA has worked for more than 19 years with some of the world’s top beauty brands. Every day, she feels fortunate to have a career that fuels her passion—to make everyone who sits in her chair feel and look irrevocably and effortlessly beautiful. Follow her on Instagram @MakeupArtist_LV.
ILSY J. HOO, New Jersey resident is a publicist and influencer who loves writing about entertainment, entrepreneurship, and relationships. Visit IlsyJHoo.com, and follow her on Instagram and Twitter @IlsyJHoo.
JARROD THALHEIMER is a writer who has also worked as a truck driver, secretary, actor, scrap metal chucker, union rep and hotel desk clerk. You can check him out at LittleBlueTruck.com.
BELLA Editorial Director GINA LAGUARDIA has been in the publishing biz—online and off—for more than two decades. She spends her days ensuring good grammar and maintaining deadlines while enjoying her daughters’ extra curricular activities, watching movies with her husband, and doing CrossFit and running obstacle course races with her friends. Follow her on Twitter @GinaLaGuardia.
BELLA Creative Director JESSICA LICCIARDELLO brings the pages of BELLA to life with her design. She is also an artist who brings her expertise for art history and cultural exploration to BELLA in her articles both in print and online. You can follow her work and adventures at ArtistInTheCity.com and on Instagram @JLDello.
NORAH LAWLOR is the founder of Lawlor Media Group, a PR, marketing, and strategic communications agency in New York City. She is also an avid traveler and chronicler of the jet-set lifestyle. Follow her on Instagram @LawlorMedia.
JESSICA CIRZ is the cover/ feature photographer for BELLA Magazine, capturing fleeting moments in time for what they are and what they may never be again. Follow her on Instagram @JessicaCirzPhotography.
JULIE DAVELMAN, PH.D. is a goal-driven clinical psychologist who treats a wide gamut of clinical symptoms in order to help individuals, couples, and families develop the skills they need to be healthy, loving, and supportive of themselves and those in their lives.
CONTENTS STYLE REPORT 13 THE The Velvet Affair, BELLA’s Best Bra Brands,
The Latest & Greatest Fashion Happenings, Kitten Heels, Transforming the Fashion Industry for All
STEPS TO FABULOUS 20 5Choices for Living Beautifully, Inside and Out
+ RECLAIMED 22 UNTAMED The Beauty & Power of Change
Vanessa Williams
76
SCENE 25 BEAUTY Your 2020 Beauty Revolution, Me &
My Shadows, The Fragrance of Giving Back, Brush Up Your Beauty Routine, Find Your Spa Shangri-La, Nailin’ It
SPACES 52 SOPHISTICATED An Inside Look at NYC’s Luxury Real Estate
BOSS 58 BELLA 7 Amazing Women We Admire
YOURSELF 66 REINVENT Which “You” Will Be the “New You”?
BELLA 68 TEAM What’s Your Reinvention Story? & CULTURE 70 ARTS The Show Must Go On…
Spa Getaways
44
TO KNOW 76 GETTING Vanessa Williams
Welcome to the new
BELLA Magazine is a national subscriptionand newsstand-based lifestyle publication offering a curated guide to fashion, beauty, health, travel, philanthropy, arts and culture, cuisine, celebrities, and entertainment. Connect and follow us! BellaMag.co BellaMag.co @BellaMagCo BellaMagTV.co
Subscribe at BellaMag.co
CONTENTS STORY 82 COVER Mel Robbins LIFE 87 CELEBRITY Alison Pill, Josh Segarra
LOVE FILES 92 THE Lifelong Love, Relationships IDEA 96 ARingNOVEL in the New You
Mel Robbins
82
BELLA 98 CHOW All in the Family, Eating Clean Never Tasted This Good
+ LIFE 102 HOME 5 Smart Ways to Upgrade Your Kitchen + BODY 105 MIND Who Needs a Fancy Gym Membership?
Feeling Comfortable in Your Own Skin, Snooze Your Way to a Healthier You, Elevating the Experience of Birth, Empowering Resources for Mothers, A New Way to Hydrate
CLOSE & PERSONAL 119 UP Vital Agibalow
121 TRAVEL New Orleans, New Places to Reinvent Yourself TOWN 130 AROUND People, Places, Parties
New Orleans
122
5 136 FAB Reinvent Your Must-Do List
M RIA GIAMBRONE FROM EXECUTIVE ASSISTANT
IN CORPORATE AMERICA
TO SUCCESSFUL
INDEPENDENT
BUSINESS OWNER
Maria offers her clients Health, Wealth & Happiness Opportunities through her
ELEVATE PRODUCTS
ELEVATING
HEALTH WEALTH & HAPPINESS Maria@ElevateItAll.com
BELLA
THE STYLE REPORT THE VELVET AFFAIR ∙ BELLA’S BEST BRA BRANDS ∙ THE LATEST & GREATEST FASHION HAPPENINGS KITTEN HEELS ∙ TRANSFORMING THE FASHION INDUSTRY FOR ALL
13
the style report | men’s trend
Runway to Reality
The Velvet Affair As seen on the runway, velvet is definitely not going anywhere this season. The soft and rich textured trend isn’t just a holiday staple—it’s also perfect for transitioning your look from day to night. Elevate your wardrobe with just one trend—it’s that easy! Rock it from head to toe or add accents of colors and texture thanks to options that range from blazers and pants to even accessories like socks and backpacks.
Yohji Yamamoto Pre-Owned Double-Breasted Velvet Blazer $1,818, FarFetch.com
Eleventy Slim-Fit Velvet Blazer $485, FarFetch.com
By Jonathan Calixto
Maison Margiela Velvet Fitted Long-Sleeve Top $335, FarFetch.com Sun 68 Knitted Jumper $133, FarFetch.com
Paul Smith Striped Socks $23, FarFetch.com
Gucci Small GG Velvet Backpack $1,980, FarFetch.com
Berluti Slim-Leg Velvet Trousers $1,180, MatchesFashion.com
14
Todd Snyder FW19 Menswear Collection
Etro Patterned Socks $42, FarFetch.com
Christian Louboutin Dandelion Velvet Loafers $995, MatchesFashion.com
Needles Logo-Embroidered Velvet-Trimmed Track Pants $245, MatchesFashion.com
Ralph Lauren Purple Label Alonzo Velvet Loafers $261, MatchesFashion.com
the style report | necessities
BELLA’s NATORI Created by a true boss and inspiration, Josie Cruz Natori looked to her heritage to create a recognizable brand, melding together the East and West. Drawing on her Filipino background, Natori uses an Asian aesthetic in her designs, adding a subtle flair and unique touch to all the brand’s pieces. Popular basics like t-shirt bras, sports bras, and convertible bras are staples in many a woman’s closet, while more embellished intimates like the lacy Flora bras demand attention. Pro tip: Splurge on a Natori robe while you’re bra shopping—you won’t regret it! Natori.com
Best Bra Brands By Amanda Mactas
Finding a bra is like finding a partner—you have to go through a lot of bad ones to find the perfect fit. Luckily, we’ve found four tried and true brands that will have your girls feeling and looking their best at all times, whether you’re down to splurge or are looking for something more affordable.
HARPER WILDE
A young, three-year-old brand, Harper Wilde sought to reinvent the bra-buying experience with its free home try-on program. Now offering five ethically-made styles, from sports bras to bralettes, Harper Wilde’s extremely comfortable line has something for everyone, even the nursing mom. With a large range of sizes and a variety of nudes to suit different skin tones, this brand is truly made with all women in mind. None of their bras cost more than $45. Plus, they are partnered with Girls Inc. to provide access to education to girls in over 120 countries. HarperWilde.com
MARIE
JO
This Belgian-born brand has been making women feel their best since the ‘80s. Their high-quality lingerie is made for “living and loving” each and every day. BELLA loves their signature straps, which often sport daisies or other chic embellishments, ensuring that if your bra straps peek out, you need not be embarrassed. While this designer brand may cost you a pretty penny, the steeper price point ensures quality and will last you for years. us-en.mariejo.com
LIVELY
Known for their comfort, this brand, which was founded by a former Victoria’s Secret exec, has well-earned rave reviews from women of all ages and sizes. Made from the highest quality materials, these bras are designed by those with more than 60 years of experience in the lingerie industry. All for the affordable price of $35, their styles range from wireless to balconettes to bandeaus. Whether you’re looking for something for your everyday errands, or just something to Netflix and chill in, there’s a bra here for you. WearLively.com
the style report | fashion news
The Latest and Greatest
FASHION
HAPPENINGS By Amanda Mactas
DANIELLE
JONAS
The jewelry line brought to you by its namesake recently launched a new collection entitled New Beginnings. Comprised of 14 pieces designed with opals, New Beginnings offers timeless staple pieces to accessorize your wardrobe. The collection was inspired by Jonas’ passions for design, motherhood ,and family, which is why opals are the star of the show. Opals have long been associated with love and passion. The pieces in the new collection range in price from $40 to $70, and are comprised of earrings, bracelets, and necklaces. DanielleJonasOfficial.com
ASCOT
MANOR
While the brand was founded in 2017, it just officially launched in late 2019. The tennisinspired athleisure line was designed specifically to help junior players who might not otherwise have the resources to continue playing competitively, and to aid them with apparel and sponsorships. And while the collection was designed to optimize performance, its functionality and comfort make it desirable for non-tennis players as well. From backpacks and totes to sports bras, hoodies, and leggings, there’s something here for everyone. AscotManor.com
SATYA JEWELRY X YOGA GIRL
16
This exclusive collection, which launched in November, debuted a new jewelry collaboration in partnership with Yoga Girl Rachel Brathen. Through a shared connection to inspire others, the two brands joined forces to design pieces that celebrate new beginnings in the face of change. Necklaces, rings, bracelets, and earrings comprise the collection, and 40% of the proceeds from the special Yoga Girl Foundation Generational Healing Bracelet will be donated to Yoga Girl Foundation. SatyaJewelry.com
NEW ERA
While the temperatures plummet and the stadiums fill up, there’s only one solution to cheering on your favorite teams in the winter, and that’s New Era’s new winter knits.These festive and cozy hats will help you rep your team even with bundles of layers keeping you warm (they even come in children’s sizes!). Offered in three unique styles, these new knits are available for all 32 NFL teams and retail for just $29.99. NewEraCap.com
TEREZ The new winter collection from one of our favorite athleisure brands blends function with fashion. While you can find all your favorite workout staples like leggings, sports bras, and tanks, you will also be happily surprised with their take on blazers, jumpsuits, and fashion sweatshirts, too. There’s no better feeling than looking chic and being comfortable all at the same time. Terez.com
the style report | women’s obsession
Balenciaga Faux-Fur Lined Kitten Heels $950, MatchesFashion.com
Balenciaga Knife Point-Toe Checked Mules $850, MatchesFashion.com
Premiata Kitten Heel Mules $305, FarFetch.com
Kitten
HEELS On-the-go? Then there’s only one way to stay sexy and comfortable—in a kitten heel. This season, the notorious feminine shoe is getting reinvented. With a funky detailed heel or in bright colors and prints, the options are endless! Make your mark when you strut out those doors and into the office or for girls’ night out.
Cult Gaia Liora Strappy Mules $425, FarFetch.com
Le Monde Beryl Satin Kitten Heel Mules $434, FarFetch.com
By Jonathan Calixto
Emilio Pucci Pink Lizard Effect Slingback Pumps $730, FarFetch.com
Area Crystal-Tassel Pumps $1,204, FarFetch.com
Dolce & Gabbana Portofino Slingback Pump $995, FarFetch.com
Loewe Nut Heel Pumps $665, FarFetch.com
18
the style report | defying disability
Transforming the Fashion Industry for
All
By Jonathan Calixto
A
s fashion and style evolve, adaptive fashion—clothing designed for people with disabilities—is gaining ground. And Stephanie Thomas, disability fashion styling expert and founder of the disability and fashion lifestyle hub Cur8able, is truly a pioneer in this area. Born an amputee, Stephanie became particularly aware of her differences as a participant in a beauty pageant. Her coach asked her, “Why do you never button your left cuff?” It was a task that would take longer with her disability, though she hadn’t given it much thought until that moment. The question sparked her curiosity, leading her to spend the next few years researching clothing and retail trends for people with disabilities. She contacted designers to gauge their interest in dressing people with disabilities, with little success. So Stephanie took it upon herself to effect change in the industry, asking three questions of any item of clothing: “Is it accessible? Smart? Fashionable?” In 2009, these questions became the foundation for her work as a disability styling expert. Cur8able.com
Fast-forward to 2015, when Stephanie launched Cur8able. What began as a blog quickly evolved into a space for individuals who want to make the fashion industry an inclusive space for all. Cur8able not only focuses on topics surrounding adaptable fashion, but also gives voice to social media “Cur8tors.” Stephanie says these ambassadors inspire her. As she describes it, despite their physical and mental pain, “they get up and live their dreams each day.” And Stephanie has proven to be an inspiration to others. In 2016, she was invited to give a TED Talk at TEDxYYC, the third largest TEDx event in Canada. She is also a member of the prestigious BoF 500, a professional index of the people shaping the fashion industry. In addition, she hosts the Cur8able podcast, providing a space to discuss issues behind dressing with disabilities. This spring, Stephanie will add “textbook author” to her already impressive resume. “Fitting In: The Social Implications of Fashion and Dressing with Disabilities” focuses on challenging perceptions, posing questions to educate and empower readers. Though Stephanie knows there is still room for the industry to grow, she is hopeful that one day, fashion will truly be universal.
DisabilityFashionStylist
Cur8able
19
5 steps to fabulous
Inside & Out Choices for Living Beautifully, By Vanessa Coppes
Our stories define us, and our personal possibilities grow from the merging of experience with imagination. A good reinvention story is more than just telling it from the same book. By embracing the creative process of applying imagination to our experience we can create something new. Here are 5 brief reinvention stories I hope you’ll find just as fabulous as I did.
1 2 3 4 5
NACIONALES NAILS From educator to “Latina Nail Polish Lady”—how’s does that happen?! Vivian Nacionales is a Latina of a certain age embarking on her "second act.” She decided to launch this family-owned company featuring professional-quality, vegan, cruelty-free, and made-in-the-USA nail polish colors that are perfect for every season! The kicker? Her colors are named in Español, tying in her roots and flare to every polish she releases. If you attended BELLA’s Gratitude Issue cover party, we know you enjoyed her swag. TheLatinaNailPolishLady.com
JUDY BANKS, BALANCE YOUR LIFE Meditation has been an integral part of my well-being since I was 13 years old. When I connected with Judy Banks years ago, many of our conversations trailed back to how meditation created more clarity and connectivity to what mattered most in our lives. Judy worked on Wall Street; she worked hard and partied hard. Self-care was not a conversation. As her life got a bit more serious and she realized that artificial food coloring was the root cause of hyperactivity in her oldest son, Judy began to do some research and educate herself. It wasn’t until she was in her 50s that she visited the Chopra Center with her husband, where they both fell in love with the mind-body model shared. She studied under the guidance of Deepak Chopra and other amazing teachers and guides there, eventually completing all three teacher training programs—Primordial Sound Meditation, Perfect Health, and Seven Spiritual Laws of Yoga. That granted her the title of Chopra Certified Master Educator. Judy is a master at what she does, and it was through her guidance I was able to quit my 25-year smoking stint. BalanceYourLife.com 20
WALLAROO HAT COMPANY The Wallaroo Hat Company is a business with a purpose, founded 19 years ago by Stephanie Carter, who was inspired by visits to her husband’s family in Australia, where the threat of skin cancer has long been understood. She wanted to share that awareness far and wide. All of Wallaroo's hats are tested and rated according to their UV-blocking capabilities. Each year, the company donates 1% of all profits to skin cancer research, education, and prevention in the US. WallarooHats.com CLARA SUNWOO Mother-daughter team Clara Sunwoo and Roseann Sunwoo have worked together since 1997 to create timeless designs that fuse classic styles with a modern edge. Their collection merges two generations of fashion expertise, making each piece tailored to drape softly with a focus on precision and fit. Clara and Roseann believe you shouldn't have to sacrifice fashion for comfort, so they’ve created fabrics that are breathable, lightweight, and extremely soft to the touch. Want to reinvent your wardrobe? Experience Clara Sunwoo. ClaraSunwoo.com
HAPPY COFFEE Say what now? Yes, you read that correctly—this coffee makes you, well, happy! Jodi Sharp-Brullo introduced me to the company she works for, Elevacity, whose mission is to elevate your health and happiness through patented and powerful nutritional products. In fact, each product offered under the Elevacity Brand has been carefully selected in support of that simple goal. In September of 2019, Jodi connected me to Maria Giambrone, an Elevacity founding partner. I was grateful for the connection, and I also know these products work because I’ve used them myself. The question remains: Are you ready to be happier? Elevacity.com
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UNTAMED 22
+Reclaimed By Vanessa Coppes
23
I
t’s so rewarding when things in life come full circle. I had always envisioned orchestrating a fashion editorial that was relatable and inclusive, not just for women of different sizes, but also of different races and ages.
Coincidentally, within the first few weeks of taking over BELLA, I met Kristen Robertiello. BELLA Fashion Correspondent Jonathan Calixto had previously featured her on BELLA TV, and a mutual friend (my son’s fabulous music teacher), Melody Stevens, also referred her to me. When we chatted at our new BELLA office in Soho, we talked for quite some time. Of course, children, career paths, and opportunities came up, but by the end of our meeting, the vision I had had was met by Kristen’s drive and intention through her wardrobe design business: to make fashion accessible for women of any age, size, or race. You see, when we talked about her business, one thing was clear—her disposition to help women “of age” feel as fabulous as the younger ones. In this current climate of ageism and noise constantly telling women who to be, how to dress, and how aging is “dreadful,” we decided to do something about it. We joined forces to not only showcase Kristen’s range as a stylist, but BELLA’s commitment to heralding real, powerful women. As animal print continues to take over runways and serve as all the rage in the past and current seasons, Kristen curated designers from 00 to Plus who provided us with the most gorgeous outfits for our shoot, appropriately titled, “Untamed + Reclaimed.” Here, you will not only see how fabulous a mixture of prints can work together, you’ll also learn about the BELLAs who share, along with Kristen, their unique reinvention stories. Whoever said fashion spreads couldn’t be reinvented, just flip through and see for yourself the beauty + power of change… MANYA OMBRE LUREX RUCHED MINI DRESS BY PATBO (GITO, ENGLEWOOD, NJ, GITOSTORES.COM) $625 GOLD KNEE BOOT, CASADEI (GITO, ENGLEWOOD, NJ, GITOSTORES.COM) $1,050 CEYLONE SEQUINED ZEBRA-STRIPE DRESS, BARDOT (BLOOMINGDALES, RIVERSIDE SQUARE, NJ) $179 FARREN BOW-EMBELLISHED BOOTIES TABITHA SIMMONS (BLOOMINGDALES, RIVERSIDE SQUARE, NJ) $995 ESTEE CRYSTAL STAR EARRINGS, JENNIFER BEHR (NEIMANMARCUS.COM) $325 VICTORIA LEOPARD CAMI GOWN, NILA LOTAN (GITO, ENGLEWOOD, NJ, GITOSTORES.COM) $695 SCUBA HADLEY JACKET VERONICA BEARD (GITO, ENGLEWOOD, NJ, GITOSTORES.COM) $650 ARMY GREEN OAKLEIGH DICKEY VERONICA BEARD (GITO, ENGLEWOOD, NJ, GITOSTORES.COM) $250 SUEDE ANKLE BOOT, CASADEI (GITO, ENGLEWOOD, NJ, GITOSTORES.COM) $850 LAURA MULTICOLOR SEQUIN WRAP DRESS (ELOQUII.COM) $169.95 WOMEN’S COURTER PEEP TOE BOOTIES, CHARLES DAVID (BLOOMINGDALES, RIVERSIDE SQUARE, NJ) $249 LYDIA LEOPARD PRINT BLOUSE, LAFAYETTE (BLOOMINGDALES, RIVERSIDE SQUARE, NJ) $598 LEOPARD PRINT SKIRT, LAFAYETTE (BLOOMINGDALES, RIVERSIDE SQUARE, NJ) $648 CASHMERE FUR WRAP, POLOGEORGIS (BOUTIQUE 811, FRANKLIN LAKES, NJ, BOUTIQUE811.COM) $1250 VOLTAGE LEOPARD SANDALS, CHARLES DAVID (BLOOMINGDALES, RIVERSIDE SQUARE, NJ) $199
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KRISTEN Robertiello STYLIST | WARDROBE DESIGN, BELLA ONLINE CONTRIBUTOR
I have been styling clients for more than 14 years in the production industry. About a year ago, I noticed a shift in the industry due in part, I believe, to advertisers allocating their money toward the influencer and brand ambassador world. I knew in my heart I needed to rebrand my business, to redesign my website, focus more on my social media, and get myself "out there” in a more personal way, but I was getting in my own way! All my insecurities kept creeping into my thoughts…What if I fail? What if people judge me? Then the universe decided for me. I was away vacationing with my family in Italy and my front tooth broke off. Of all things, my whole world revolves around vanity. I went into a panic that was later diagnosed as PTSD. I couldn't eat and lost 15 pounds. I thought I was dying. My friends didn't want to be around me—I didn't even want to be around me….until I woke up. I’d had enough, and I hit the ground running. Nothing was going to stop me. I started focusing on my Instagram and doing personal shoots. I hired a web designer and took every opportunity that came into my path. As soon as I did all of this, an amazing thing happened. Actually, many amazing things started happening. Today I am confident and successful, and I continue to take leaps of faith and make changes even if they are outside my comfort zone. I will never stop believing in myself and that is the most important gift every person should give themselves.
PHOTOGRAPHY BY JESSICA CIRZ MAKEUP BY LAUREN VENA HAIR BY JENNIFER CAPELLA FOR GLAMLIFE LOUNGE
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CEYLONE Boothe Grooms
MODEL, MAKEUP ARTIST, MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER, AND MRS. ALL STAR UNITED STATES 2018
I’ve been involved in pageants for over 25 years. Some of my pageant accomplishments include being crowned Miss New York Star 1995, Ms. New York American United States 2000, Ms. East Coast USA 2003, Mrs. NJ United States 2009, Mrs. NJ America 2011, and Mrs. NJ International 2013. While I’ve appeared on film/TV, fashion runways, and print ads, I am also very active in my community by volunteering for the American Heart Association, the American Cancer Society, Kick Cancer Overboard, Autism Speaks, and much more. My reinvention story can be seen through my work as a proud ambassador for The Esther Project, a global women’s empowerment movement that encourages women to find their passion and purpose. CeyloneBootheGrooms MrsAllStarUnitedStates
PIANA FAUX-FEATHER TRIM CROPPED CAMISOLE, LUCY PARIS (BLOOMINGDALES, RIVERSIDE SQUARE, NJ) $6 ALLISON SKINNY LEOPARD JEANS R13 (GITO, ENGLEWOOD, NJ, GITOSTORES.COM) $445
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VICTORIA Gilham PHYSICAL THERAPY STUDENT - 21
With so many people not pursuing a healthy, active lifestyle, I plan to reinvent the world by using the “exercise is medicine” approach in hopes to heal people, help them feel good, and manage or reverse chronic diseases like diabetes and cardiovascular disease, which afflict so many Americans.
SHEER LEOPARD BODYSUIT AQUA (BLOOMINGDALES, RIVERSIDE SQUARE, NJ) $48 BELTED FAUX LEATHER BOILERSUIT, BARDOT (BLOOMINGDALES, RIVERSIDE SQUARE, NJ) $139 SUPERSTAR GLITTER FLAG GOLDEN GOOSE SNEAKER (GITO, ENGLEWOOD, NJ, GITOSTORES.COM) $530 KABBALISTIC CUFF: THE 72 NAMES OF GOD (RACHELBROWNJEWELRY.COM) $685 HANDMADE ITALIAN LEATHER AND FAUX FUR HANDBAG, BEVINI MODENA (BEVINIMODENA.COM), $257
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LAURA LEE Sosa PLUS MODEL - “YOUNGISH”
I’m a plus-size model signed in NY/LA, born to an amazing couple whose mix makes me basically the United Nations in one. I grew up in the US and in Cartagena Colombia. Life events have turned my life upside down and back to normal way too many times, but they molded me into this loud, spontaneous, “take no sh!t” kind of chick who has never backed down from going after her dreams. I am me! Growing up I saw models as super stars, queens of fashion, and beautiful women whose bodies didn’t look like mine. I wanted to be them, but how? Society told me I was too big and that my size was disgusting. Fast-forward a few years to when Instagram came around, and my OOTD posts were being seen and I was being noticed. One fun photo shoot with friends turned out to be a life-changing event. A plus magazine saw those pictures and gave me a chance. I signed with my first agency six years ago. I was scared of the unknown, but there was no way I was going to turn 90 and say, “I coulda, shoulda, woulda.” I’m living my dream because I believed in myself. Don’t think for one minute this job is easy—it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done—but I wouldn’t change it for the world. It’s not a job when you love what you do and when you are helping others. Plus models are out here showing up, being influencers, helping people love themselves inside and out, making you see the beauty within, showing off stylish threads, etc. We are here to stay, so you are either in or in the way. We are here!
GATHERED SLEEVE DRESS, NICHOLAS (11HONORE.COM) $658 LEOPARD PRINT FAUX FUR COAT, KAREN KANE (BLOOMINGDALES, RIVERSIDE SQUARE, NJ) $269 SOULMATE ANGEL BRACELET (RACHELBROWNJEWELRY.COM) $395
With modeling I get to work for so many amazing companies, doing FIT (basically I’m a live mannequin). I tell companies how garments fit and what I think needs to be fixed, and we work as a team to make their pieces perfect. I also work on print (commercial, pictures, websites) and showroom modeling. This is the path I chose for myself and my heart is full. 29
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MANYA Saaraswat FORMER MISS NEW JERSEY USA 2019, PEDIATRIC SURGERY STUDENT
I am reinventing what it means to be a woman in today’s society. More often than not, we subconsciously form opinions about others based on one brute fact, whether it be their occupation, their hobbies, etc. We end up putting people into categories. I reinvented myself to be a multi-faceted, confident woman, and I want to encourage others to do the same. I like to consider myself a melting pot; I’m a mixture of different cultures and different hobbies. I immigrated to the United States when I was just 3 years old and I grew up moving up and down the east coast, attending about 10 different schools throughout my pre-teen years. I was able to quickly assimilate to the American culture, but to the best of my ability, I still try to stick to my Indian roots. Growing up, it was hard for me to find my group of friends because I always seemed like an outlier. It would take me another decade to realize that my uniqueness was actually an advantage. I went to college on the pre-medical track. I was very focused on my studies, but I wanted to try something outside my comfort zone. My whole life, I admired cheerleaders and I always dreamed of being one, but my fear of failure held me back. It was then that I decided to not let that fear hinder me; although I had no prior cheerleading experience, I tried out for Bucknell University’s Division I Varsity Cheerleading team. To my surprise, I made it onto the team, and three years later, I served as captain. A great deal of people are actually shocked to find out that a straight-A biology student like me would also be a cheerleading captain. What they don’t understand is that being in a leadership role that required not only physical but also mental stability helped me excel in my studies and later, graduate at the top of my class. In my junior year, I decided to continue the trend of trying unfamiliar activities. I knew I wanted to make an impact on my community, and I decided to do so by competing for the title of Miss New Jersey USA.
Although I never had participated in a pageant, I did not let that stop me. Instead, I worked hard and gave it my all. At my first pageant, I was the first runner-up out of 120 accomplished women. The following year, I re-competed and I won the title of Miss NJ USA 2019, which allowed me to compete on the Miss USA stage last May. Throughout my year, I was lucky enough to have unconditional support from my family and friends. However, there were a handful of people who believed that I was participating in an outdated and sexist activity. People assumed that because I was a “pageant girl,” I was uneducated and superficial. They were surprised to know that not only was I studying to be a pediatric surgeon, but that my platform involved narrowing the health gap in developing countries. So although my title allowed me to have incredible experiences like being on the sidelines of an NFL game and starring in a national commercial, the best experience I got out of it was helping underprivileged children. As Miss NJ USA, I volunteered with organizations such as SmileTrain, which allowed me to go to developing countries and not only observe pro-bono surgeries but be a support system for the child and their family throughout the whole process. What surprised me is that people still believe that women who compete in pageants are one-dimensional and “just another pretty face.” Rather, I have met the most accomplished and inspiring women through my pageant journey, many of whom are now my closest friends. I am proud to say that I am more than just one thing; I can be a beauty queen and a pre-medical student; an immigrant and also an American. Through my years, I have shifted away from trying to fit a certain mold in society to creating my own standing, one that allows me to be multifarious. The modern woman embodies her uniqueness, and rather than waiting for society to accept her, she reinvents society by being unapologetically herself.
SILK-METALLIC CAMISOLE, EQUIPMENT (BLOOMINGDALES, RIVERSIDE SQUARE, NJ) $170 FINDLEY FAUX-LEATHER JOGGER, JOIE (BLOOMINGDALES, RIVERSIDE SQUARE, NJ) $298 ONDRA LEATHER MOTO JACKET, JOIE (BLOOMINGDALES, RIVERSIDE SQUARE, NJ) $898 SILVER HOOP EARRINGS, BAUBLEBAR (BLOOMINGDALES.COM)
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SILVER BLOUSE, ELIE TAHARI (BLOOMINGDALES, RIVERSIDE SQUARE, NJ) $348 RED AHEAD METALLIC PANTS, KAREN KANE (BLOOMINGDALES, RIVERSIDE SQUARE, NJ) $99 FUR COLLARED JACKET, POLOGEORGIS (BOUTIQUE 811, FRANKLIN LAKES, NJ, BOUTIQUE811.COM) $1285 ANA BEKOACH ENDLESS BLESSINGS SWAROVSKI CRYSTAL NECKLACE (RACHELBROWNJEWELRY.COM) $595 72 NAMES OF GOD PEARL NECKLACE, RACHEL BROWN (RACHELBROWNJEWELRY.COM) $595
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LYDIA Gilbert
MODEL, ACTRESS, WEDDING OFFICIANT BUSINESS OWNER, TEACHER, AND COUNSELOR - 60 I am the proud mom of a marine and a metal musician—I wonder sometimes which career path is more dangerous! I have been married for 33 years…many ups and downs, but surrounded by wonderful family and friends, we always worked to search for the rainbow behind the clouds and respect the love and life we made together . I loved what I did until the day I retired almost five years ago. It wasn’t always easy, for sure; in the field of education, you must be flexible, creative, and deeply devoted. I worked hard to meet that goal. My original major in college was theatre—I wanted to be a star. Of course, one quickly realizes there are bills to pay, and after a short time with some success in the acting and modeling business, I switched my major to education. I graduated with a degree in elementary education and started teaching third grade. Through the years, my love for the theatre continued. I directed plays in my classroom and throughout the school where I taught. One day, I was called to the district high school and offered the position of director of drama; I was thrilled! I would continue to teach during the day, and direct the plays in the evening. With two small children and my mother recently diagnosed with cancer, it was a challenge, but my husband Bill was very supportive as were my family and friends. Keeping up that pace was difficult, and after three years, I realized the needs of family were paramount. I stepped away from the drama department deeply grateful for the wonderful experiences I had. I continued to teach, switching grade levels every three years to stay current, and continued to learn and grow. I completed my master’s in addictions counseling at 49 years old and was offered a position as the student assistance coordinator in the school district. In this capacity I would be responsable for suicide and drug prevention, as well as crisis counseling. Historically, this position was largely at the high school, rarely visiting our two elementary schools in the district. When I took the position—having an elementary background—I explained the strong need for our administration to start this program earlier. We decided I would spend three days at the high school and one day at each elementary school. Of course, this turned a fulltime position into almost a position and a half! I knew if I worked hard and showed the results, they would find money in the budget to fund an elementary counselor. I worked 10-12 hours a day, Monday through Friday, and then came back on Saturday to do my paperwork.
It was worth every second. When I retired six years later, my one position had turned into three, and the money was in the budget to fund it. The superintendent said, “I gave you everything you asked for, why are you retiring?” My response, “You didn’t need me, you needed to see the need for the position to help the students. I have a new chapter to write!” And writing that chapter I am! With my background in theater and a best friend who had a background in the wedding business, we were often asked to perform weddings for family and friends. My kindergarten bestie Rachel and I both became ordained ministers and loved sharing in the joy of others. We would help them write their vows, “coach” them on the planning, and work with them to make sure everything was perfect for their special day. Often, wedding professionals want to refer clients, and we would say, “No, we are just doing this for the family.” After retirement, Rachel and I decided, Why not make this our business?! We are more than a year old as a formal business, Love and Light Wedding Officiants, and we love every minute of our journey together! Having worked in education for so many years, I had to learn aspects of running a small business. It has been wonderful to stretch my brain again while holding hands with my kindergarten bestie! I love every second of it, sharing in the love and light of the most special day in the lives of others. In addition to owning Love and Light Wedding Officiants with Rachel, I returned to my original career of acting and modeling. I have had wonderful experiences in the past five years, landing a position as an on-air model at QVC, as well as print, commercial, TV, and social media campaigns. It’s such a different journey in your 50s, that’s for sure. I also am a volunteer crisis counselor in my community and continue to volunteer with Our New Journey, a foundation that supports caregivers as they travel the difficult journey of caring for those they love who have illnesses. I look at my journey not so much as a reinvention, but rather a reimagining or new chapter. Although great self-doubt always crept in, I am very proud of what I accomplished in my first chapter. I don’t know if I would want to reinvent it. I knew there were other chapters to write, so I needed to reimagine, restructure, and recreate! I’m so very thankful for the journey. LoveandLightWeddingOfficiants
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Transforming Healthy, Sexy Lips
Lip Balms
Hemp Infused | After Hours | SPF30 www.PreventiveMeasures101.com 34
BELLA
BEAUTY SCENE
YOUR 2020 BEAUTY REVOLUTION ∙ ME & MY SHADOWS ∙ FRAGRANCE OF GIVING BACK BRUSH UP YOUR BEAUTY ROUTINE ∙ FIND YOUR SPA SHANGRI-LA ∙ NAILIN’ IT
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beauty scene | pretty smart
RENEW EYE AREA
Algenist Complete Eye Renewal Balm is a mighty multi-tasker that minimizes the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles, brightens dark circles, reduces puffiness and fatigue, and nourishes and soothes. $68, Algenist.com
REDEFINE CURLS
T'zikal Beauty - Curl Defining Hair Serum smoothes frizz and flyaways for long-lasting shine and enhanced moisture. It’s formulated with Ojon oil—used for over 500 years in the hair care regimen of the indigenous people of Honduras. $38, Tzikal.com
YOUR
2020 BEAUTY
REDUCE INFLAMMATION
Shiffa - Sapphire Sensitive Face Oil soothes your sensitive skin with the healing power of the sapphire gemstone. The oil heals irritation, protects against free radical, and calms the skin. $75, Bloomindale’s
REPAIR HAIR DAMAGE
REVAMP YOUR POWER SHOWER
Sol de Janeiro - Brazilian 4 Play Moisturizing Shower Cream-Gel is a sultry, skin-softening wonder that deeply cleanses and hydrates. One whiff of the addictive pistachio and salted caramel fragrance will wake up and shake up your shower experience. $25, SoldeJaneiro.com
RECREATE THE RUNWAY LIP
Gucci Rouge À Lèvres Mat features an ultra-pigmented, soft powdery matte finish that’s ultra-fashionable. The color lasts all day while the moisturizing and smooth texture, infused with mango butter, offers comfortable wear. $42, SaksFifthAvenue.com 36
The Beachwaver Co. Stay Strong Reparative Conditioner enhances softness and hydration and is formulated to strengthen hair from the inside out. You’ll see a noticeable boost in shine, too. $36, Beachwaver.com
RELAX YOUR TENSION
Kneipp - Lavender Body Wash – Relaxing contains natural lavender oil and has a gentle, balancing effect after mental or physical exertion. The soap-free formula gently cleanses, leaving skin soft and supple. $14, Kneipp.com
REPLENISH MOISTURE BARRIER
RELEASE IMPURITIES
Velvette Organics - Mature Skin Day Facial Oil contains organic cranberry seed oil and edelweiss extract to moisturize mature skin. Gives even the driest skin the most gorgeous glow. $88, LoveVelvette.com
PHYTOMER - CITYLIFE Radiance Reviving Mask with Clay uses a duo of non-drying and detoxifying clays to promote clear and balanced skin by deeply cleansing pores while absorbing impurities to brighten the complexion. $64.50, PhytomerUSA.com
REVIVE VITALITY
DL.MD - 13.5.1 Multivitamin is your one stop for the 13 essential vitamins your body needs to stay healthy. Just one teaspoon contains 13 vitamins, 5 minerals, and 1 bioflavonoid, designed to keep your body fueled and beautified. $45, TheDLMD.com
REJUVENATE SKIN’S APPEARANCE
ALLEGRESSE 24K Gold Bio Anti Wrinkle Cream features pure gold to boost texture and Songa, an organic botanical extract used for generations by Native Americans to help firm and lift skin. $89, AllegresseBeauty.com
Beauty resolutions? Been there, dabbed that. How about starting your own personal beauty REVEAL RADIANT SKIN
DERMAFLASH LUXE is an at-home dermaplaning device that uses Sonic Edge Technology to sweep away peach fuzz, buildup, and dead cells from the skin’s surface. Use just once a week for remarkable radiance. $199, DermaFlash.com
revolution?
Jumpstart your year with a full beauty revamp. Swap the old with all new products that really keep their promises. More power to you!
RESTORE BRIGHTNESS
Supersmile - Extra Whitening System - Deluxe Travel is clinically proven to deliver an average of two shades whiter teeth after one brushing and an average of over nine shades of whitening in just 30 days. The system restores bonded teeth, veneers, caps, and dentures to their original shade—and you can get those teeth twinkling on the go. $75, Supersmile.com
By Janene Mascarella REBUILD BODY
SH-RD - Protein Cream combines the moisture and protection of silk amino acid and hydrolyzed silk protein to smooth and seals the cuticle, while locking in hydration and strengthening the hair. $28 (2.71 oz), Shrd.Us
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beauty scene | tried & true
ME & MY
SHADOWS
The sweetest way to get a golden glow and rock a retro glam look. Urban Decay NAKED Honey Eyeshadow Palette $49, UrbanDecay.com
Our Beauty Director Janene Mascarella loves getting shady, and here she shares her most prized shadow palette possessions.
So many ways to brighten and glisten up. I love how my lids catch the light with these sparkly shades.
I have been using IT Cosmetics shadows since the brand launched. I’m the self-proclaimed OG IT girl, and these earthy shades are perfect for daytime—matte and magnificent!
HipDot Elle Palette $30, HipDot.com
The play of light and dark in this palette…so chic and classic. e.l.f. Cosmetic The New Classics Eyeshadow Palette $14, Target
The very first time I opened up an eye shadow palette, I was instantly fascinated. I was just a young girl rummaging through my mom’s makeup bag, and I remember dipping my finger in all the colors, swiping the sparkly mixture across my eye lids, and literally marveling in the mirror. My love for eye shadow is still as strong as ever. I am fascinated how certain shades (matte, satin, or shimmery) can be so transforming, and I still feel like I get to play dress-up every time I glide on eye shadow. I just love having the power of a collection of shadows in my own hands. Here are all the pretty little palettes I’m obsessed with…oh, the array!
These sunsetinspired shades are so gorgeous– the best way to look starry-eyed and date-night hot! 40
Charlotte Tilbury Charlotte Darling Palette $57, CharlotteTilbury.com
It Cosmetic Naturally Pretty Essentials™ Matte Luxe Transforming Eyeshadow Palette $24, ItCosmetics.com
the beauty of giving back
V
Vented in Brooklyn is the Fragrance of Giving Back By Maureen Spataro
The 1-1 concept of donating one bracelet for each one sold was not immediately embraced by some of Chrisie’s mentors. She was told she was doing too much, giving too much away. But Chrisie remained determined, comforted in the knowledge she found a way to pay it forward. Chrisie held on to her idea and found artists who would create more bracelets with words such as Strength, Believe, and Hope.
ented in Brooklyn was a business that was preordained into existence since Chrisie Canny was a little girl.
“My dad, Norman, was a charismatic man who had a way of making everyone feel good about themselves,” she says. One of her sweetest childhood memories was going to a spot within the Brookly Botanic Gardens called The Fragrance Garden. “Dad would tell me to close my eyes as he rubbed the leaves from the plants and herbs, allowing their oils to absorb into his fingertips, and I would smell and identify each one,” she recalls. “That garden was the beginning of my love for scents and their power to bring us back to a happy moment in time.”
Since starting Vented in Brooklyn in 2017, Chrisie has donated bracelets to Sloan Breast Cancer Center, Susan G. Komen of Central and South Jersey, Maimonides Cancer Support Group, and Hope Lodge at the American Cancer Society in NYC, to name just a few cancer-related organizations.
Photography by Mary Foti, Nautical Media Group
Paying it forward has always been a part of Chrisie’s life. “Cancer was prevalent in my family so we were always involved in anything that enabled us to give back to cancer patients and charities,” she says. But, it was her father Norman’s final battle with lung cancer that would propel Chrisie to launch Vented in Brooklyn.
While they are not permitted to personally deliver the bracelets out of respect for patient privacy, when they visit again with new donations, they are reassured by staff that their bracelets have made an impact. “Some of the recipients themselves will purchase bracelets to pay it forward to others who are battling cancer,” Chrisie says. “It’s incredibly rewarding.”
“My father always hated the smell of the hospital; it compounded the loneliness of being in such a sickly environment,” she says. “I prayed for an idea that would somehow combine our love of fragrances and allow me to give back.” The answer came in the form of a company that manufactured bracelets with empowering words on the front and a place in the back to insert a favorite essential oil. Chrisie drew her idea on a piece of paper that she gave to her brother, Tim, who is a craftsman. Several hours later, he handed her the first prototype made with a 35-year-old piece of copper from her father’s factory.
That was what happened with a man named Sandy at the Hope Lodge at the American Cancer Society of NYC. andy was battling cancer for a long time, and came to a crossroads at which many patients find themselves. He was tired and wasn’t sure how much more his mind and body could withstand. It was right around this time that Vented delivered a batch of bracelets to the Hope Lodge, and Sandy received one of the donated BELIEVE bracelets.
For every bracelet bought from Vented, another bracelet is donated to a cancer patient or cancer charity with a bottle of peppermint essential oil to help alleviate the symptoms of chemotherapy. “I wanted patients to know they weren’t alone; that they were thought of as they fought for their lives,” she says. VentedInBrooklyn
“The next time we returned, one of the employees shared with me that after his bracelet was given to him his spirits lifted and his resolve to fight immediately returned. He made a purchase so other patients would receive one,” Chrisie says. “It’s such a blessing knowing you are making a positive impact on another person’s life.” So, what’s next for this solopreneur powerhouse and her special company? “We want to continue growing our jewelry line as well as an idea I’m expanding on for children’s hospital gowns,” she says. “The possibilities are endless.”
Vented in Brooklyn
VentedInBrooklyn.com 41
beauty scene | expert insight
Brush Up Your Beauty Routine The thing about a
By Anisa Telwar Kaicker, ANISA Beauty Founder and Designer
good brush
is that it can
change your
So, how do you find this perfect makeup brush, you ask? To this day, when I see someone with greatlooking makeup, I ask what brushes they used to get their look. Finding a makeup artist you trust and admire is another great place to start. But you can also look to your favorite brands for answers, as they will typically pair brushes with their products and give recommendations on the best way to apply.
life
Makeup brushes (and—yes—now skincare brushes!) are still pretty intimidating for most people. There are so many different types of brushes that I get why it’s scary or overwhelming to know which one is the best for you. The truth is that the perfect brush is similar to the perfect bra or the perfect swimsuit – it has the ability to lift you up in all the right places!
The struggle is real. The consumer pain point of not knowing which brush to choose is feedback I hear all the time, and it’s the primary reason why I created our Brush Finder on AnisaBeauty.com. This is truly the easiest and most accurate way to identify the brushes you should be using for your makeup and skincare needs. It’s simple to use and takes the guesswork out of brush selection.
The ultimate goal of a good brush is for it to do the work for you. Choosing the right brush to apply your products can play a major role in how your skin looks and feels. Consider the types of products you’ll be applying. What is the texture and application need of the product? Do you prefer a powder or creamy foundation? Do you like to look more natural or do you prefer medium to heavier coverage? Do you want a matte eye shadow or a bit of shimmer? Do you typically prefer a cream cheek blush or a powdered bronzer? Once you have these answers, it’ll become easier to identify the perfect brush to pair with them.
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ANISA Beauty (AnisaBeauty.com) is an innovative and cruelty-free collection of makeup and skincare tools with a mission to revolutionize your beauty routine. The luxe brushes are thoughtfully designed to amplify application results and maximize product benefits.
Quality counts. It’s also important to remember that not all brushes are the same. A quality brush will last you a lifetime. We pride ourselves on working with some of the best and most conscientious companies in the world and now intend to educate the everyday beauty consumer on how we make an environmentally- and socially-responsible brush. When you buy a brush from us you can feel good about where it comes from and how it’s made. And one last point–if you care for and clean them properly, they can last forever! Take the time to wash them weekly… your skin will thank you.
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DAVID A. SCHLESSINGER, MD BOARD CERTIFIED
FELLOW, AMERICAN ACADEMY OF OPHTHALMOLOGY FELLOW, AMERICAN ACADEMY OF COSMETIC SURGERY
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beauty scene | go gorgeous
FIND YOUR SPA
Shangri-La By Janene Mascarella
If you’re looking to put some farflung, extraordinary spa journeys on your radar for 2020, check out Shangri-La Hotels and Resorts (Shangri-La.com). Their 58 CHI, The Spa locations around the globe each feature top-notch treatments that use indigenous ingredients of the region to pamper your body and soul and truly get a feel for the destination. Planning your mystical and harmonious whisk-aways for the upcoming year? Here’s the ultimate passport to paradise.
DESTINATION:
Le Touessrok, Mauritius TREATMENT: Traditional Tipik Healing with Sega Rhythm
This signature massage created to soothe the body by releasing muscle stress, helps you embrace the island’s peace through the sound of Mauritian sega tipik rhythms. It helps boost the body’s energy levels, eliminate toxins, improve circulation, and clear the mind. Time has no place and only experience matters. 60 minutes
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beauty scene | go gorgeous DESTINATION:
Villingili Island, Maldives TREATMENT: Singature Kandu Boli Ritual
The most popular massage, Kandu Boli, meaning “seashell,” draws energy from the ocean. A natural Cowrie shell is used to massage tired muscles while warm coconut oil is drizzled across your entire body. It is not only relaxing but very hydrating. 60 minutes or 90 minutes
DESTINATION:
Boracay, Philippines TREATMENT: Signature Philippine Hilot Massage
The resort’s most popular treatment, this medium- to deep-pressure massage focuses on releasing blocked energy. Warm strips of banana leaves and virgin coconut oil are placed over the body to allow the healing hands of the therapist to detect and relieve tension spots. 60 or 90 minutes 46
DESTINATION:
Istanbul, Turkey TREATMENT: Mediterranean Serenity
Discover the famous Turkish hospitality by undergoing a delightful coffee scrub that uses natural ingredients known for their ability to reduce cellulite. Then, truly indulge by experiencing a chocolate wrap. 1 hour and 30 minutes
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beauty scene | go gorgeous DESTINATION:
Sydney, Australia TREATMENT: Australian Botanical Retreat
Transport yourself to an Australian sanctuary. First, the therapist will use a dry body brush to stimulate the lymphatic system. Then, a fullbody exfoliation treatment that uses wattleseed and sandalwood will be applied to clear and refine the skin. A full-body wrap with Australian green clay will then be imparted to detoxify the body. Finally, a fullbody massage with an oil rich in eucalyptus and honey myrtle will be administered to leave you in a state of natural bliss. 2 hours and 30 minutes
DESTINATION:
Singapore TREATMENT: Orchid Bliss
Experience the effects of orchid extract combined with a toning body wrap, scalp massage, and body massage. Orchis mascula (early-purple orchid) flower extract is a soothing, skin conditioning compound that also brightens and lightens skin and freckles via modulation of melanin production. 90 minutes
DESTINATION:
Tokyo,Japan
TREATMENT: Traditional Kietsu Body Scrub
Kisetsu is the Japanese word for “seasonal.” Experience a full body scrub created with indigenous ingredients that reflect the changing needs of each seasons. Your skin will be noticeably smoother and moisturized. Ask for detailed information on this season’s unique and inspiring scrub. 60 minutes 48
DESTINATION:
Chiang Mai, Thailand TREATMENT: Healing Royal Herbal Compress Massage
Used for decades by Thai healers, steam-heated compresses filled with ground organic herbs and plants, such as lemongrass, lime leaves, turmeric, and tamarind, are rhythmically pressed and released on the body. This technique stimulates blood circulation while relieving aches, pains, and sore muscles. At the end of this massage, you will feel deeply relaxed, balanced, and detoxified. 1 hour and 30 minutes
DESTINATION:
Dubai,United Arab Emirates TREATMENT: Firming Arabic Coffee Scrub
The treatment begins with dry body brushing, stimulating lymph drainage. It is followed with a vigorous scrub using a blend of Arabic coffee, crushed olive stones, and lemons, which help to reduce the appearance of cellulite while promoting circulation. 60 minutes 49
beauty scene | get the look
BEHIND THE SCENES:
KISS NAILS X REBECCA MINKOFF
Rebecca Minkoff’s winter presentation at NYFW was all about “the modern working woman”– a celebration of the way women today express themselves in the modern workplace. The story of the collection is told through aspirational, yet attainable takes on the workday wardrobe through oversized silhouettes, bright prints, and—of course— fierce feminine nails. “As a female founder and entrepreneur, I am continuously inspired by the women around me and women in the workplace who represent strong examples of leadership, strength, and grace,” Rebecca explained. “When creating this collection these inspiring women were top-of-mind—I wanted to highlight the modern working woman, her wardrobe, and her environment.” Gina Edwards, lead manicurist for KISS Products, Inc., created a series of nail looks inspired by the collection. To add playful elements to each nail story, Gina used KISS Nail Art Paints to create leopard, zebra, plaid, and golden fantasy accents. “Women are looking for fun, relatable nail looks for everyday,” said Gina. She aimed to play up the fun wearability of Rebecca Minkoff’s collection with wearable KISS accent nails. “Each design is on trend without being overbearing.”
GET THE LOOK
Select correct size of KISS Gel Fantasy Nails (or KISS Masterpiece Nails) for each finger. Paint accent nails with KISS Nail Art Paint to create desired “in-the-wild” effect:
LEOPARD:
Paint leopard spots onto marble accent nails from KISS Masterpiece Nails in Kitty Gurl using KISS Nail Art Paint in black. Complete the look with KISS Gel Fantasy Nails in Bookworm.
ZEBRA:
Use KISS Nail Art Paint in blue to create zebra stripes across the chrome accent nails from KISS Masterpiece Nails in Kitty Gurl. Complete the look with KISS Gel Fantasy Nails in Bookworm.
SHOP ALL THE HOTTEST NAIL STYLES AT KISSUSA.COM AND IMPRESSMANICURE.COM. 51
sophisticated spaces
An Inside Look at NYC’s
LUXURY REAL ESTATE By Jennifer DeCillis
The Rosen Team at Douglas Elliman Real Estate is one of the top real estate teams in Manhattan. With a bevy of premiere properties actively listed throughout the year, the Rosen Team’s properties are featured in various, major publications for their chic listings and spectacular views.
25 Tudor City Place, 911 Gracious and elegant, this spectacular three-bedroom, threebathroom residence is the perfect home for entertaining. Overlooking the manicured gardens of Tudor Park, this expansive apartment offers a serene oasis from the hustle and bustle of Manhattan.
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sophisticated spaces
9 Battery Place, 14G
 Helicopters overhead and sailboats cutting through the Hudson River back and forth toward the Statue of Liberty paint the dynamic landscape found outside this two-bedroom condo. A custom renovation features new closets, doors, and an appliance package by Subzero, Viking, and Miele. 99 Battery Place is the fusion of customized pride of ownership found in an easy-to-own, full-service downtown condo.
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140 East 72nd Street, 3C Spacious layouts unlike you will find in any new construction await in this sprawling three-bedroom estate at a white-glove Upper East Side address. Two exposures bring light in from the third story of this magical intersection. The building was recently renovated, and the home is a blank canvas waiting to be crafted.
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sophisticated spaces
WOMEN on the
RISE
With 14 years in the industry, David Rosen has cultivated a strong team of innovative thinkers who understand “the art of the sell,” a philosophy he has practiced in negotiating exceptional transactions for clients. The women of The Rosen Team incorporate fresh ideas into their approach to real estate and understand the city’s shifting landscape for both buying and leasing. Like the rest of The Rosen Team, they specialize in luxury real estate, and their commanding presence in an industry of lavish living has catapulted them to success.
“We’re particular at The Rosen Team, and the women on our team are an integral part of why we offer such a well-rounded experience for clients,” explains founder, David Rosen. “People want that personal touch from brokers they know they can rely on, and that’s what Starr, Allison, and Nicole bring to the table for every transaction. Each has her own niche and works hard to expand what they bring to the client. We’re constantly learning from them.” The team goes the extra mile to offer clients an exceptional experience beyond finding a listing, he adds. From negotiations to closing on a property, whether it’s a personal home or an investment, the women of The Rosen Team guide and cater to clients, utilizing years of expertise and modern real estate savvy. 56
Starr
Densford
Starr has lived in New York City for 13 years and owns personal and investment properties in the city. With experience in real estate, PR, and marketing, she brings a special skill set to The Rosen Team.
Allison
Epstein
Splitting her time between New York and Florida, Allison understands how lifestyle plays a role in helping clients find just the right property. Transparency is the name of the game for Allison, who believes in open communication and honesty with clients to build the foundation for strong relationships.
Nicole
Parsil
Nicole joined The Rosen Team after a career shift from zoology and more than 15 years working with mammals, specializing in primates and elephants. She began her real estate journey in Florida and joined the Rosen team as director of operations two years later.
BELLA boss
Boss
BELLA
7 BELLA Bosses We Admire By Janene Mascarella
Running a thriving business takes drive, determination, and a whole lot of hustle! We’re spotlighting seven fierce, fabulous, and fearless BELLA bosses who have founded their own companies and proven how a little belief and a big a leap of faith can land you a leading role in your own life.
DIANE
Turton
Diane Turton, Realtors POINT PLEASANT BEACH, NJ DianeTurton.com
MY BUSINESS: Diane Turton, Realtors is a full-service
residential and commercial real estate company with sales offices strategically located throughout Monmouth and Ocean Counties in New Jersey and its corporate headquarters in Point Pleasant Beach. Since 1985, the Diane Turton, Realtors name has achieved renowned recognition as the premier real estate company in the markets they serve. The Diane Turton, Realtors brand is the recognized leader in providing complete residential and commercial real estate ownership services and support. Our distinguished affiliations with Leading Real Estate Companies of the World, Luxury Portfolio, Who’s Who in Luxury Real Estate, and Mayfair International ensure an extremely powerful domestic and international visibility for Diane Turton, Realtors. As a full-service real estate company, Diane Turton, Realtors conveniently offers in-house title, insurance, relocation, and referral services. Through our professional marketing campaigns, web-based technologies, and social media networks, we are best positioned to reach the global real estate market. MY REINVENTION JOURNEY: I graduated college and
became a real estate agent, following in the footsteps of my dad. I always loved real estate, and I realized I had the right skill set and drive to own and manage my own real estate brokerage company. I was a women entrepreneur at a time (1985) when the real estate industry (and most businesses) were led and managed by males. I enjoyed the challenge, and from day one I forged ahead to prove my worth and make my mark on the industry. My 34 successful years as the head of my own real estate brokerage, with 16 offices covering 80 miles of the Jersey Shore, has been a dream come true. I take great pride in my personal and business success. I have raised a beautiful family, have a wonderful husband who is my partner in the business, and have the adoration of my sons and their spouses and children. As in the day I founded Diane Turton, Realtors, my company continues to operate based on the following core values: Trust, Communication, Service, Knowledge, and Courtesy. And to those who 34 years ago tried to keep a woman from rising to the top—I take great solace in proving them wrong. SECRET TO MY SUCCESS: Hard
work, the support of a loving family, and never fearing rejection.
BELLA boss
LYNETTE
Barbieri
LynetteWork FREEHOLD, NJ LynetteBarbieri.biz
MY BUSINESS: LynetteWork meets with small
business owners to find out what challenges are keeping them from taking their businesses to the next level. We customize and create a game plan to put systems in place and implement strategies that will help their businesses grow. Our focus is to free up time for the business owners so they can spend more time doing what they do best and more effectively run their companies. MY REINVENTION JOURNEY: I reached a
pivotal point in my life after I had been running my financial business for over 15 years. I had trained many people over this time to become independent leaders, ran my own office, made a great income, and had associates open their own offices. My kids were getting older so I had more free time, but I felt stuck and in some ways, unfulfilled. I made a difference in thousands of people’s lives financially but I was missing something. I knew there was so much more I could give, but I didn’t know how exactly I was going to go about it. One morning I decided to go onto Meetup.com and create a small networking group for women. We started to meet the next week at my office. I was excited to connect with new people. I knew I could use the skills I had developed over the years to give back and help women grow their businesses regardless of the industry they were in.
PERFECT TIMING: One day a woman came to a meeting—and that woman was
Vanessa Coppes, BELLA Magazine’s CEO and editor-in-chief. She has since become my business partner for the last eight years. We went for coffee together to get to know more about one another and talk. She had skills I didn’t have, and I had skills she didn’t have. We were excited to find we had a common goal that we were both extremely passionate about—mentoring women entrepreneurs and creating a support system to help them thrive. We wanted to make a difference in as many women’s lives we possibly could. LynetteWork was formed a few years later because of the need to assist these women not only with their finances but in all aspects of building their company. My newest venture I recently added to my repertoire was to put my 23+years of sales to work by becoming a business development associate for BELLA. It’s exciting and sometimes challenging, and I am looking forward to taking it to the next level. SECRET TO MY SUCCESS: I can honestly say that it’s been my ability to network,
make connections, and build relationships with like-minded entrepreneurs. Throughout my journey, these connections opened the door to so many different opportunities that helped my business grow and thrive. Also, I’ve always had the willingness to learn new things and be ready to take on new challenges. My passion to help and support women entrepreneurs is what drives me and gets me out of bed excited in the morning.
ELIZABETH
The EveryBody Wrap® NEW YORK CITY TheEBWrap.com
Kosich
MY BUSINESS: The EveryBody Wrap® is a simple
dressing system that flatters every body shape, size, and age. The design works miracles to accentuate a woman’s best shape, while the technical fabrics lift, mold, and hold to boost her confidence. Its endless versatility transforms any look or attitude on a whim, empowering women to reinvent and do more with less. It’s truly a fashion game-changer. MY REINVENTION JOURNEY: I started
designing teeny-tiny knit bikinis over 10 years ago but despite eight Sports Illustrated Swimsuit features and other successes, something was missing. I saw how real women cringed at the word “bikini,” becoming crippled by inhibitions and pressure to be swimsuitmodel “perfect.” I wanted to change this and saw a void in the market for flattering, supportive clothing that empowers, which crystalized my purpose—to help women love and embrace themselves exactly as they are. Enter The EveryBody Wrap.
WISE ADVICE: Second act careers come with an
experience gap that education can help close. I earned a second degree in Image Consulting at age 50 to establish myself as an expert in body shape, fit, and proportion. It has given me authority on size diversity and better informs all design decisions. Street cred matters, so get the necessary credentials to legitimize your career pivot and accelerate your way to the top of your field. CHALLENGE—ACCEPTED: The EveryBody Wrap
is a lofty promise that I take seriously. I knew the material and design had to be everything, so I spent four years sourcing fabric and made over 100 prototypes nailing the design. It was a grueling process but necessary to ensure the brand promise. Staying close to my higher purpose to serve women got me through the darker moments. Women need this! SECRET TO MY SUCCESS: The fabric is The
EveryBody Wrap’s superpower. It contours and sculpts without binding and has intelligent stretch and recovery to hold shape all day long—and beyond. It provides emotional support like nothing I’ve ever seen before, transforming women into their most beautiful, confident, and happy selves. It’s a beautiful thing to watch. 61
BELLA boss
NICOLE
Borota
Jersey Cookie Girl
MILLSTONE, NJ JerseyCookieGirl.com
MY BUSINESS: We create custom
sugar cookies for all occasions. MY REINVENTION JOURNEY:
I was previously an architect; the career change came with the gift of my youngest child. He is brilliantly autistic and is the reason I created Jersey Cookie Girl. Working with clients to create custom cookies for their events allows me the ability to express my creativity in the form of edible architecture. OVERCOMING A NEW CHALLENGE: The only difficulty in
the beginning was the isolation, since I enjoy working in a team environment. I generated more business and hired a staff to once again create a design studio full of positive energy. SECRET TO MY SUCCESS:
Working hard, providing the best customer service possible, being open to receiving constructive criticism, and being a part of a networking group that has endless expertise and support.
KAREN
Torres
All4UDad MILLER PLACE, NY All4UDad.com
MY BUSINESS: After losing my father in a
tragic crash, I dedicated my life as an influential speaker to educate, encourage, and empower individuals to make smarter choices behind the wheel. MY REINVENTION JOURNEY: On St.
Patrick’s Day 2006, I received a phone call no one ever wants to get. I was told my father, Patrick Mapleson, was hit and killed by a distracted driver. I was devastated and heartbroken. I turned my tragedy into advocacy and began speaking in high schools, businesses, and highway safety conferences about the dangers and deadly consequences of distracted driving. I left my secure position as a program director with a non-profit agency to pursue this new venture. It has proven to be the most rewarding and fulfilling experience.
Photography by Wild Ginger Images
SAVING LIVES: Texting while driving is a
deadly epidemic. It has now surpassed drinking and driving as the leading cause of death and accidents among teens ages 16-20. Too many lives are being lost. Our teens are freshman drivers and it is vital we ensure their safety by showing them the hazards of distracted driving. My high school presentations are a powerful approach to helping teens understand the deadly consequences of distracted driving. Sharing my father’s story, along with a well-designed, audiovisual presentation, keeps teens engaged and makes a true connection to their hearts and minds.
OVERCOMING THE CHALLENGE:
As with many people, I was extremely fearful of public speaking. My legs would shake uncontrollably for the first several months of presenting, but my passion for saving lives was much stronger than having shaky legs. SECRET TO MY SUCCESS: Receiving
such positive feedback from my audience has definitely empowered me to keep pushing forward with this endeavor. Knowing I have inspired so many people to make changes while driving is the most rewarding part of making this career change. WISE ADVICE: Your purpose is driven by
reason. When you find that reason, believe in it and the rest will fall into place.
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BELLA boss
SARINA
Jain
Masala Bhangra® NEW YORK CITY MasalaBhangraWorkout.com MY BUSINESS: Masala Bhangra® is an Indian dance-
based program designed for people of all ages and fitness levels who love to stay physically active. Specifically, it introduces high-energy Bhangra and Bollywood dance movements in an easy-to-follow fitness format, and is a mechanism by which thousands of people have been moved, touched, and inspired to become physically active. With the dance choreography directly influenced by the music and dance of modern Bhangra and Bollywood styles, Masala Bhangra is a fresh and exciting addition to the world of fitness and dance. MY REINVENTION JOURNEY: I was doing PR for
the beauty, fitness, and fashion industries. I represented pretty amazing products and got the media to talk about them in a positive light. There were some successful products that we still use today. While I was working at KRPR in Beverly Hills, I used to teach aerobics as well. My side hobby was fitness and doing all the aerobics classes. It was around this time that my father passed away due to a massive cardiac arrest at the age of 47. My mom was 40 years old at the time. It got me thinking that I have to take my aerobic background and combine it with my Indian culture and create an Indian dance workout that all the aunties and uncles can do so they don’t suffer a heart attack. LEAP OF FAITH: I knew at a young age that
staying healthy and fit was the way to a longer life. While working at the PR agency, I put together my first workout video and launched it in 2000. I then decided to take my PR skills and apply it to my own business. Today, I am celebrating 20 years of Masala Bhangra being born with over 15 workout videos and about 250 instructors in 15 countries. SECRET TO MY SUCCESS: That this
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passion of mine for getting people up and moving turned into a mission. It was my mission to have people try Masala Bhangra, stay fit with my program, and learn something new. When the world starting to react to my DVDs in a positive way, it fed my soul. There was something inside of me that felt good knowing I was making a difference in someone’s life.
ALAINA “LAINEY” VerucaStyle Boutique MATAWAN, NJ VerucaStyle.com
Acosta
MY BUSINESS: My gift and accessories boutique showcases designers and
brands that give back, local talent, and items made by yours truly. MY REINVENTION JOURNEY: I worked as a sales and brand manager
within the fashion industry for over 15 years. Upon making Matawan, NJ my new home base two years ago, there was a strong sense that this would be the perfect opportunity to create a foundation and connection, set deep roots here, and turn my dream shop into something that does good for the community. IN THE BEGINNING: VerucaStyle Boutique started as an online boutique
featuring new jewelry designers, and has morphed into a brick and mortar boutique with an expanded selection of items that include home decor, beauty and bath products, and fun, unique gifts. The name, suggested by a dear friend,
is based on “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.” I build an assortment of offerings anyone would want to spoil themselves with, and now feature collections of goods that give back. It’s my own kind of candy store with purpose. THE CHALLENGE OF A NEW START: The
hardest part of making such a big change is creating new connections and asking for help, and we all need to ask for help when we need it. I was fortunate enough to be introduced to so many people in the community who helped me grow my business and get involved. SECRET TO MY SUCCESS: Absolute
perseverance—even when the tank is on empty—and surrounding myself with people who keep me sharp. WISE ADVICE: Trust your gut, and practice harnessing
that intuition. It is a powerful tool that has served me well— and I am still working on harnessing. And never be afraid to ask for help!
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reinvent yourself
Which
“YOU” Will Be the “NEW YOU”? By Dr. Julie Davelman
W
hen talking about starting a new chapter in their lives, people often focus on their hopes and fears. Rarely does the conversation turn to how the new venture will change the way they think of themselves. The question “How do I define myself?” may not seem relevant to this conversation, but thinking about identity enables you to fully understand the implications of your new venture.
Identity is not a singular concept; selfperception consists of multiple identities, such as employee, friend, mother, and daughter. When deciding to reinvent yourself, you are changing one or several of your identities or even adding new ones. Recognizing this will improve your chances of success. The first step in figuring out who you will become is understanding what identities you already have. A good way to do this is to think about what you devote your time to. The things you routinely spend time doing likely represent important parts of yourself. Then, based on this list, assess the degree of impact the new venture will have on each identity. Think broadly, since taking on anything new rarely impacts just one identity. For example, if you decide to change careers, the obvious identity that will change is the one associated with the old career. However, if the new job involves a lot more travel, it will likely also impact your identity as a spouse or partner. Recognizing the breadth of the impact may help you to better understand the person you are going to become as you open this new chapter in your life. Once you have identified the impacted identities, go back over the list, starting with the most affected identity, and determine what elements of that identity you will miss. For instance, if you have been a teacher for 20 years and are now leaving the field to pursue an art career, you may miss the coworkers with whom you established strong relationships. Allow yourself to mourn these losses. Missing a part of the past does not mean you are uncommitted to the new venture.
Work your way down the list and determine whether there are arrangements you can put in place that may mitigate the impact. Let’s say you were a homemaker and are now returning to the workforce. How will the house get cleaned? Neglecting to plan for this issue may leave you feeling like a failure in an important area of your life. However, planning to use some of your new earnings to hire someone to clean the house may lessen any negative effect on your self-image. Your house will continue to be clean, and you can continue to think of yourself as a good homemaker. Since you do not exist in a vacuum, the people in your life may also be impacted by your new venture. It’s important to have honest conversations about what the change will mean for them. Consider a scenario where your mother is accustomed to seeing you every day on your way home from work, but your new job takes you in the opposite direction and you can only visit her once a week. This does not make you a “bad daughter;” it just means the expectations associated with your identity as a daughter have to change. Although some of these conversations may be difficult, they are still worth having. The difficulty does not imply that you are doing something wrong. Lastly, look at the aspects of your life that will be least affected by your new venture. This part of the list is important because even though you are discovering the “new you,” parts of yourself remain relatively stable. You can rely on these elements to remind you that you are successful in many things, even as you push beyond your comfort zone. For example, you may not be sure whether you can succeed as a business owner, but you are certain that you are a great mom. This knowledge will help you keep going on the hard work days (and there will be hard days). This may seem like an elaborate process, but it’s worth the energy. Take time for selfdiscovery and the honest conversations needed to build this road map to the “new you.” Best of luck on your journey!
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team BELLA JENNIFER DECILLIS MANAGING EDITOR + ASSOCIATE PUBLISHER
WHAT IS
YOUR
Reinvention
Story?
My reinvention story is one of self-love. Despite successes and achievements throughout my life, I found myself endlessly chasing an unattainable vision of perfection. I have struggled with recognizing my worth and feeling pride in my accomplishments— believing I could always do and be better—while contrarily seeking outside validation. As I have changed and grown as a person, I have learned the importance of loving and appreciating myself before anything else. My reinvention is ongoing, and I have found happiness in my evolution. And if at times I waver, I remind myself of this quote: “To learn to love yourself could be the hardest thing that you will ever do.”
VANESSA COPPES
CEO & EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
When I moved to the U.S. almost 15 years ago, I knew it was time to go after everything I had dreamed for myself as a child. Centered around helping others—women especially—I began to take the necessary steps toward building a business that would be of service. In the span of 11 years, I went from elementary school teacher to CEO. Growing a business tests you in so many ways. It tests your self-discipline, your intelligence, your communication skills, your focus, and so much more. I’ve learned that you cannot settle for weakness, you cannot be unwilling to do the work, you cannot pursue bad ideas, and you have to invest time and money in your continued education. Growing a business has allowed me to become aware that I am a woman who can handle a lot more than I thought myself capable of. I’ve learned to pace and challenge myself, to trust myself and others, to work (very) hard, to stay focused under pressure, to let go of what doesn’t serve my mission, to learn from others, to find a balance between family and business, and to still enjoy the beautiful ride of this thing called life.
JANENE MASCARELLA BEAUTY DIRECTOR
“It’s never too late to be what you might have been.”
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I read that quote many years ago, and those words really struck a chord. Since I was a teenager, sitting on my bed flipping through the pages of Sassy Magazine and tearing pages out for inspiration, I always dreamed I would one day write for magazines. But life gets in the way and it wasn’t until my early 30s, with my son snoozing in his crib right next to me, did I summon the courage to send my first cold pitch to a national magazine. I didn’t have a clip or a clue but somehow I got a contract with SELF, one of the biggest women’s magazines in the country! When my first essay was published, my writing career took off— and the rest is history!
AMANDA MACTAS
FOOD, TRAVEL & ACCESSORIES EDITOR
I’ve always loved working out and getting all kinds of exercise in my regular routine, but I’ve never particularly enjoyed running for long periods of time. Last year, I signed up for the NYC Half Marathon on a whim, just to challenge myself. For someone who hadn’t run more than a mile since college, I was not looking forward to running upwards of 13! I downloaded a training app, and did my runs 3-4 times a week for three months leading up to the marathon and never missed a workout. I despised every minute of it (I find it so boring!), and ran in some pretty terrible conditions, including rain, snow, and with a pulled calf muscle. But I ran the half marathon, accomplished my goal, and although I still wouldn’t call myself an avid runner, I do incorporate longer runs into my routine—and sometimes I really enjoy it!
JONATHAN CALIXTO
FASHION AND LIFESTYLE CORRESPONDENT
My reinvention story is about self-acceptance. Having grown up thinking that my flaws outweighed my purpose really hindered my journey. In recent years I have found myself living life to the fullest because I began to accept that what made me different was what I loved most about myself. Part of that involved getting to work on projects that BELLA allowed me to highlight, contributing to the evolution of my reinvention journey. I hope one day that living in my truth can inspire other young queer minorities to also live as they are knowing they can achieve whatever they set their minds to.
GINA LAGUARDIA EDITORIAL DIRECTOR
My reinvention story is actually one of reawakening. Since losing my dad suddenly more than six years ago, I’ve been waiting and waiting to feel “like myself ” again. Through the journey that is grief and recovery (an ongoing process), I’ve come to realize I will forever be changed. Instead of feeling less-than because of it, I’ve chosen to embrace the “after” me and know that the values, joy, and strength my dad passed along have enabled me to face life without him. It’s not always easy, but the best thing about “reawakening” is that you get to try again with each new day.
MINDY GURA AND PAULA ORLAN
COVER AND CELEBRITY STYLISTS
For a long time, we were creatures of habit—comfortable with the safe and familiar. We had lived 40+ years this way, content with our jobs as personal shoppers for Neiman Marcus. But something was missing. In 2011, we were connected to a few Bravo “Housewives” who were in need of personal stylists. We knew it was time to start our own business. It felt risky and scary, but exciting and right. With the support of our families, we quickly dove in and have been pursuing our passion as “The Style Duo” ever since. We especially love styling for BELLA. Reinventing ourselves taught us that while playing it safe, you could risk missing out. We’re glad we didn’t!
CHERYL DEVINE
PUBLISHER
ALEXANDRA ANASTASIO ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR
My reinvention story is one of realization and revival. Up until that point I had been living my life the way I thought I “should be,” and had lost sight of who I was along the way. Dreams I had were put on hold as I just assumed time would always be on my side. But time is fleeting, as I soon realized, and one can only stifle their true self for so long. As certain events and circumstances began to unravel what was once a “content” life, I realized I needed to find my strength and trust in what lie ahead in order to truly be fulfilled. I rediscovered things I was passionate about, like writing, and pursued them wholeheartedly. When I look at where I stand today, I am grateful for where I was because it allowed me to arrive at where I am today.
My reinvention story is about learning how strength develops within us. Losing my dad when I was very young taught me multiple lessons about strength. As an adult, I was faced with back fusion surgery, which ended up giving me a clearer perspective on life. I am realizing that it’s never too late to do anything you set your mind to do. Every day we have opportunities to improve ourselves. I will continue to work on building upon my strengths and working harder to make things happen. I am so grateful for everyone and everything in my life. My mantra: Enjoy every day…you never know what tomorrow will bring! 69
arts & culture
The Show Must Go On:
Redefining Dreams Their
Adversity After Overcoming
By Alexandra Anastasio
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“
Don’t ever feel like your best days are behind you. Reinvention is the purest form of hope. Make today your best day yet.” Phil Wohl, Professional writer and fiction novelist
T
hroughout our lifetime, reinvention comes about in many different ways. It brings a renewed sense of hope and an opportunity to move forward during times of difficulty. It is a reminder that we are in control of how we want to live our lives moving forward. Regardless of why people choose to reinvent themselves, it’s important to take notice of the way in which they choose to handle the challenge that’s been put in their path, and how they control the narrative moving forward. Maggie Kudirka and Evan Ruggiero, two young performers on the cusp of living out their professional dreams, found those dreams halted when they were each diagnosed with cancer. Suddenly, everything changed. At a time in their lives when they should have felt on top of the world, they were now at their lowest. But what happened next is nothing short of inspiring. They weren’t about to let cancer define them. And while their journey since the cancer diagnosis may have led them on divergent paths, their positive mindset, determination, and resilience in the face of adversity is what drove them both to continue striving to be the best versions of themselves. BELLA sat down with Maggie and Evan to talk about the difficulties they’ve faced (and continue to knock down), along with the ways in which they’ve reclaimed their lives and came out victorious on the other side.
arts & culture
72
A
Maggie Kudirka LIVING LIFE ON HER OWN TERMS
t just 23 years old, Maggie Kudirka was living her dream in NYC and was on the path to become a professional dancer, until she was diagnosed with stage 4 metastatic breast cancer. MBC is a type of breast cancer that at the time of discovery had already spread to other parts of the body.
It was at this point that Maggie moved back home to Maryland to begin treatment and, in the process, shifted her life’s purpose. Finding her voice through public speaking, along with social media, Maggie set out on a new path as a passionate advocate for MBC. Her love of dance never faltered, and although she isn’t dancing full-time at the level she once was, her passion for her craft and the outlet it provides has allowed Maggie to continue doing what she loves in the studio. Despite the fact that cancer has taken away many aspects of her future, Maggie has not let the C-word define her life. Instead, she has chosen to reinvent it.
You were diagnosed in June 2014 and six months later had a double mastectomy. Did you continue to dance through all of this?
Before the mastectomy my doctors encouraged me to dance, not to the point I had been, but as long as I felt up to it. Dance helped the chemo move through my body better because I was physically moving. I think my doctors were a bit shocked because I tried to attend class almost every day. After the mastectomy, I was back in the studio six days later. It’s what helped me heal and get my body moving again. It was also good for my mind; dance has always been a release for me ever since I was young.
Since you were first diagnosed almost six years ago, how have you re-written the narrative of your life?
By doing things the way I want to do them and not because someone tells me to. I’ve also re-written it by not becoming a professional dancer but a breast cancer advocate and using my voice, something I never thought I would do. I was speech-delayed as a child, so doing any public speaking was terrifying. But now I am more outgoing and I’m making sure people hear me and not just disappear into the shadows. I am more confident and I’m taking life as it is, not regretting any of my choices. When I look back, I want to be proud of what I’ve done; I’m living my life to the fullest.
Photography by Andrew Holtz
How have you turned your diagnosis into something positive for other young women and men who are diagnosed with cancer?
Metastatic breast cancer is not common in young people, but sadly there is a growing number of us being diagnosed. I’ve had so many people approach me with their stories, and I tell them, ‘Use your voice and stand up for yourself; it can save your life. If your gut is telling you something, it’s usually true.’ I’ve also started a Facebook group for people under 30 who are diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer to talk about what they’re worried about, and really anything they need. We face the same problems, something I don’t think others realize.
Do you work closely with any particular organizations?
I work closely with Dancers Care Foundation, a nonprofit organization that raises money for Weill Cornell Cancer Research to help in finding a cure. All proceeds are used for cancer research and to assist young dancers who are actively being treated for cancer. I also work closely with METAvivor, an organization that is dedicated to the fight of women and men living with stage 4 metastatic breast cancer.
In what way has this made you stronger?
It has given me a purpose not to give up nor let cancer take over my life.
What is something you want people to understand about MBC?
Most people think of it as pink ribbons, and one of the things that is frustrating within the entire community is that approximately 110 women die every day from metastatic breast cancer and hundreds of thousands of women die yearly. Why is this not a crisis, [why isn’t] more money put to research? The education has grown but there’s still a ways to go. Metastatic breast cancer is not curable; there is no end date to our treatments. We will never not be in treatment until something is discovered to change this from a terminal disease to a chronic disease. Until then, you are always receiving treatment, always getting scans, and dealing with cancer every day.
You’ve recently added a Pomeranian puppy named Momma Mia to your support team. How has she helped you?
This past May, I had a reoccurrence. After three years of no active disease, my scans lit up in the three original spots [sternum, hips, and spine], but now had spread into my femur. I became really depressed and thought having a dog might help with the depression and loneliness I feel when traveling, which I do a lot of. I grew up with dogs my whole life and so my mom reached out to a breeder whom we had gotten dogs from in the past. From the moment I brought Momma Mia home, she instantly pulled me out of that depression and put a smile on my face. We are best friends. She will sit with me all night, loves to snuggle and travel, and now we’re getting involved in dog shows. It’s nice to be in a world where it’s not all about dance or cancer 24/7; here it’s all about the dogs.
When you were first diagnosed your cousin told you that cancer was only a small part of your life; don’t make it your whole life. How have you taken her advice to heart?
I take it by doing what I want to do. I don’t think about how others are going to look at me, especially when I was bald. I make sure when I’m with friends and family that we don’t just talk about cancer but about other things as well. Sometimes people tend to forget you may get a cancer diagnosis, but it doesn’t become your whole life; it’s only a small part of it. BaldBallerina
Bald Ballerina
@BaldBallerina
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Evan Ruggiero REDEFINING DANCE
ascinated by dance from a young age, Evan Ruggiero was performing with the famed New Jersey Tap Ensemble at just 10 years old. Add to the mix his singing and acting abilities, and a triple threat performer was born.
In what way has cancer made you stronger?
I was dealt this horrible thing, and I think humans are always trying to adapt and find new ways to make things work for them. This was a clear instance where I had everything lined up for me—I had started my professional career and was ready to build on that—and then this terrible thing happened. But Fast-forward a few years. While Evan was studying musical theatre in with my body’s own resilience and my stubbornness to not quit, something college, he was diagnosed at 19 years old with osteosarcoma, a form of bone started to shine through. cancer. Along with multiple surgeries and rounds of chemotherapy, his right leg was ultimately amputated. In addition, the cancer metastasized to his I knew I was never going to be a doctor or a lawyer but I knew how to be a lungs, resulting in additional surgery. singer and a dancer and an actor. Even though I had a third of my lung taken In spite of what he went through, Evan refused to let it derail the path he was on. Instead, he became even more determined to find a new way to continue dancing. His inspiration: Famed tap dancer Clayton “Peg Leg” Bates. After watching Bates perform on TV a few years prior, not only was Evan impressed with what he saw, but it came full-circle for him after his amputation.
out, I still sing, and having my leg removed, I still dance; it was just my way of pushing through and going on.
Last summer, you met and danced with a young girl from Arizona named Abri, who also lost her leg to cancer. In leading by example, you are inspiring people in similar situations. How does it feel, knowing your story is helping While the cancer might have taken a piece of his body, what it couldn’t get a others? hold of was his spirit.
It feels really cool and it was great getting to know Abri and her family. When You’ve been dancing since you were a kid. Where did that passion for dance I first saw her videos, I saw that fire in her, that fighting spirit, and it definitely reminded me of myself going through everything. An organization called come from? My dad got me a VHS of the history of Michael Jackson, and I saw another “Wiggle Your Toes” got in touch and arranged for me to fly out to meet and guy dancing and thought that was really cool. At the same time my parents dance with Abri. In October, I went back to see her for a day just to check up had signed my sister up for dance classes and I wanted to give it a try, too. I and see how she was doing. The whole experience was very flattering. signed up for a hip-hop class, liked it, and after that, my second year I decided to go back and take tap. During that meeting you had the opportunity to teach Abri some moves,
Has performing always been “it” for you?
I started singing and acting because a summer camp needed guys for a production of “Annie” and I figured, I can dance, why not try this other stuff? I got the part of Daddy Warbucks and thought this is fun, and it felt like a very safe space for me to explore the arts and try new things. I eventually went to college for musical theatre and it came to a point where I just wanted to perform for the rest of my life. I wanted to take my hobbies and those things I was interested in growing up and make a career out of them.
which is something you do with your master dance classes. What was that experience like for you?
About 99% of the time I teach a tap class, I’m teaching dancers with two legs. To teach a dancer with one leg, and see what works for her, may be different than the way I go about it. And that’s an awesome experience because I am learning as well.
You give back through your work with various organizations, as well as with In the middle of pursuing your passion you were diagnosed with bone cancer, your motivational speaking engagements. What are some organizations you’re involved with? yet you never gave up on performing. What kept you going? Right after the amputation, I woke up and my grandma was in my room, and she looked at me and one of the first things she said was, maybe you should give up this whole musical theatre thing. Since then I’ve been on this personal vendetta to prove her wrong. It’s a fun way to make fun at it, but I never wanted to give up. I was on this track and it’s what I wanted to do for the rest of my life.
Along with Wiggle Your Toes, I work with the Sarcoma Foundation of America, Dancers Against Cancer, Dancers Give Back, Cycle for Survival, Biden Foundation, and I recently connected with Jason Mraz. We’ve done some touring and played music together, and I’ve worked with the Jason Mraz Foundation. I’m involved in fundraising opportunities and will speak at or perform at events to raise money for cancer research.
Did you have to re-teach yourself how to dance once you got back into the studio?
You wrapped up last year with a role in the sold-out off-Broadway play, “Baby.” What’s coming up for you in the New Year?
In 2011, I had a peg leg made and I retaught myself how to dance. Tap dance is a very percussive and musical dance style, so I utilized the peg leg as an extension of my body and a new instrument. I was able to find new sounds I didn’t have before.
I have a lot of stuff planned that hasn’t been officially announced yet, but I will be in Chicago on May 2 performing with my band, the S’Evan Legs, at the Ravinia Festival. My social media is the best way to keep up with what I’m doing.
What made you choose to dance with the peg leg?
I was paying tribute to “Peg Leg” Bates. I wanted to keep it very simple and the peg leg is super light; there are no tricks or gimmicks to it. There is no technology in it, nothing moving the foot—it’s just me, and that’s how I wanted it to be.
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V getting to know
THE
GRACE, BEAUTY, AND GRIT OF
anessa
By Allison Kugel
illiams W
Photography by Vital Agibalow for HENSEL Styling by Mindy Gura and Paula Orlan Makeup by Lauren Vena Hair by Jennifer Capella for GlamLife Lounge Location: 99 Battery Place, 14G, New York City Douglas Elliman properties. Represented by The Rosen Team
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THE QUEEN OF
REINVENTION
Dress: Donna Moda, Westwood NJ Hair comb: Paula Varsalona Necklace and earrings: Alix Fray Jewelry 77
getting to know
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anessa Williams is a creature unlike any other. It's as though she came here to impart the ins and outs of living life on one's own terms. From unwitting societal lightning rod during the 1980s to multi-platinum selling recording artist and Broadway, film, and TV star, Vanessa slayed the male-dominated Hollywood dragon long before the #MeToo movement occurred. You can tell from talking with her that the scars of past judgments she has endured, as well as the fruits of her sweet success, have both created indelible imprints.
Something told me to read your 2012 memoir, “You Have No Idea,” which I read cover to cover. I’m so glad I read it because it was the missing piece to really understanding you. The one constant theme throughout your life, it seems, is that you are a natural born rebel.
In more recent years, Vanessa stunned audiences with sultry scene-stealing characters on hit series like “Desperate Housewives” and “Ugly Betty.” Her recent film starring Uzo Aduba, “Miss Virginia,” tackles the socio-economic and educational inequities that urban students of color endure, showcasing a more socially conscious film portrayal.
When nude photos of you surfaced during your 1984 reign as Miss America and you were forced to relinquish your crown, you were counted out there for a while in your twenties. Do you ever pat yourself on the back these days and say, “I did it!”? Broadway, films, television, platinum-selling recording artist, and on and on. Do you feel vindicated?
Vanessa’s exotic beauty strikes you dead on arrival, but she does not lead with her looks. She prefers to enter a conversation with intellect, boldness, and strength. The multifaceted actress is now preparing to take her Broadway-honed stage skills across the pond to London's West End, where she will star in a production of “City of Angels,” opening at the Garrick Theatre in 2020. She's also added fashion designer to her packed resume, launching the sexy and sophisticated Vanessa Williams collection for HSN. And, fresh on the heels of a multi-album deal with BMG, Williams is working on new music to reflect a collection of musical genres.
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A Renaissance woman for the ages, Vanessa Williams' life is nothing if not purposeful.
(Laughs) Yeah.
That quality plays out in one way when we’re young, but changes as we get older. How do you express that side of yourself now?
It’s now about being unafraid to take chances. In terms of my career, I just signed on to do “City of Angels” on the West End [of London]. It’s not a lot of money, but it is an opportunity to work on the West End. It’s always been a dream of mine to live overseas, and to study in London. I’ll be working at the Garrick Theatre. We start rehearsals in January, we open in March, and the show will be running until the end of July. There are no guarantees in terms of leaving my life in the States behind, but it’s something that excites me. At this stage of my life, it’s all about asking myself what I want to do that I’ve never done. The challenge of it excites me, and doing the same thing bores me.
No, I really don’t. I don’t think that, because there’s always that next goal, like, “but I want to originate a role on Broadway;” “but I want to do a movie musical.” There is always something yet to be done. It’s not that I’m never satisfied, but there is always another goal on the horizon. When you’re an actor, it’s like being a gypsy. You jump into another circle of players, and it’s great. Then when it’s over, it’s heartbreaking, but then you’re ready to move onto the next circle. That’s what excites me, and that’s what will always propel me to say, “OK, what’s next?”
Clearly, you value adventure over routine.
Well, I look at some people who have been on the same show for 11 or 12 seasons, and it’s a great cash cow. It’s great to have that kind of consistent salary where you can budget and put money away. God bless everyone who has had a series on the air for 10 years, but there is an energy that keeps you kind of hungry when you are always looking for the next thing and you don’t know what that next thing is.
I want to go back a bit and talk about the beginning. I think people may forget because it was so long ago, but you broke through a pretty significant glass ceiling in your twenties by being crowned the first African American Miss America. You became this societal lightning rod at the time. In 2008, when President Obama was elected as our first African American president, did you feel a connection or kind of kinship with him, since he broke a barrier in a similar way?
Oh, absolutely, in terms of his safety, and his presence was worldwide. But there is an expectation that comes with that honor of breaking barriers. It’s also a tremendous fear, not only for yourself, but for family members; because there is such division that doesn’t seem to leave us. I thought it was over in the 1980s, and it wasn’t; I thought it was over in the 2000s, and it wasn’t; and obviously, it’s still apparent now. So, there is a specific fear and uncertainty that you have, but you have to be brave and continue to do what you were chosen to do and the job that is before you.
Dress: Romona Keveza Bolero: Cynthia Rose Ring: Gabriel & Co. Earrings & Bracelet: @Shoepop
getting to know Dress: Badgley Mischka, Neiman Marcus Paramus Necklace: Vintage Chanel Pearls
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What have you learned about love? What’s been your greatest love lesson?
I’m lucky to have four children, and there is nothing like that love—a love like that never ends. Once they’re out of the house, you’re still—as a mom— always available. You’re still always worried (laughs) and concerned. And you’re still always extremely proud, no matter their age or what they are doing.
How do you take care of your body, mind and spirit? What’s your feelgood routine?
My feel-good is waking up with a good cup of coffee and doing a crossword puzzle in the sun. That starts my day off perfectly. And when I get a chance to explore and travel, I love to horseback ride, wherever I am, and go to the stables and find a horse and go on an adventure and explore the terrain on horseback. Spending time at home is also a joy for me. I’m on the road traveling so much, so my happy place is kicking off my shoes and hanging out at home.
You’re a practicing Catholic and you attend church regularly, but in your most quiet and intimate moments, whom or what do you pray to, and what do you pray for?
Hmm...it depends on what it is. I pray to God and my ancestors and my guides, and everyone who has been with me along my journey. As far as what I pray for, it depends on what I want or need at that particular moment, whether it’s guidance, whether it’s “show me the way,” or whether it’s protection for one of my children.
What do you think you are here in this life to learn, and what do you think you are here to teach?
I absolutely love to teach, in the literal sense, and I’ve done it for three years in a row at NYU. I’ve taught Master Classes at Syracuse University, where I went for musical theatre. I also teach women’s groups. It’s teaching strength and to be aware, because you never know when and where something is going to happen for you. Whether that’s your talent, whether it’s an opportunity…just be open to who comes into your life and what they can bring.
And you’re here to learn?
That as women, for sure, we are a community, and to ask for help. Don’t be afraid to ask for advice or for help. Look for a mentor. I’ve learned that there are many people who are willing to be teachers and to help you along in your life, so don’t be afraid to ask because there will always be somebody there to offer help. I think I’m here to learn to keep moving ahead. On this earth we have setbacks, struggles, and obstacles. You have to be able to say, “What is this teaching me?” so you can move through it and move ahead in your life. Avoiding or trying to deny something won’t get you anywhere.
Speaking of giving advice to other women, back in 2011 and 2012 you worked on Tyler Perry’s film, “Temptation,” with Kim Kardashian while she was separating from her ex-husband, Kris Humphries. Did she seek your advice about weathering scandal and a media firestorm?
She’d just broken up with Kris [Humphries] and the press was all over the place, so Tyler made it very easy for her to hide from the press on set.
Basically, it worked on the set, keeping the press away. Then we flew back to LA together. I just needed to be the sounding board for her at that point. Sometimes you don’t need to talk. You just have to let others talk, and you have to listen. She talked about all the stuff that was happening and her fear of being judged, but that it was something she felt she needed to do. My advice to her was that you go through the storm, but the dust will settle. You’ll get an opportunity to see clearly, and it will be a different day, and you’ll feel better and you can move on.
Do you consider yourself a trailblazer for women?
I think my history has made me a trailblazer, unknowingly. I’ve always just been myself and that’s how it played itself out.
What makes you feel most beautiful?
The sun and the warmth make me feel beautiful. Every time I land someplace that’s warm, it makes me feel like I’m connected to nature. And that’s without hair and makeup and wardrobe, and all that stuff. It’s just the breeze, the water, and heat that make me feel like my most natural self. And then [there’s] being around children. Whether it’s my children who are all grown up…there’s a connection that I have with kids. Maybe because both of my parents were elementary school music teachers, there is a connection that my kids and I have with young kids that I absolutely love. My connection with children makes me feel so alive.
You recently launched your own clothing line, Vanessa Williams, which is available through HSN. The collection is versatile, imaginative, and sexy, yet understated. And I love how you incorporate animal prints and patterns with different looks.
Thank you. It’s another opportunity to be creative, and I’ve got a great manufacturer, so the quality is fantastic. It’s an extension of what I love, which is putting my stamp on things. I love fashion, and I’ve been fortunate to work on amazing shows, both on television and on Broadway, where I’ve worked with incredible costume designers and been exposed to fantastic fashion through stylists. I’ve settled into what my own personal style is, along with what resonates with other people. When I design, I keep my 80-year-old mother in mind, and then my children—my girls are range in age from 19 to 32. Everyone’s got their own sensibilities, and there’s one piece for everyone to enjoy.
When will you be recording your next album?
Now! I just finished recording a children’s album, which will be out next spring. And I’m working on a new album for BMG that will be out next year. We’re leaning toward mood and tropical music for this next album, and there will be more projects to come.
Let’s circle back to your upcoming show on London’s West End, “City of Angels.” You’re a Broadway veteran, but this will be your West End debut.
This will be my “junior year abroad” that I never got the chance to do! In college, I was supposed to go to London and then I became famous that September. So, it’s my delayed junior year abroad, 36 years later (laughs). And it’s getting a chance to show my stage talent on another respected stage. My children are not at home, so it’s an opportunity to tick another thing off the bucket list.
SHOP THE VANESSA WILLIAMS COLLECTION AT HSN AND PRE-ORDER TICKETS TO SEE VANESSA WILLIAMS STAR IN “CITY OF ANGELS” AT THE GARRICK THEATRE IN LONDON’S WEST END: VISIT VANESSAWILLIAMS.COM.
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MEL ROBBINS cover story
SHE MOVED HER LIFE IN A NEW DIRECTION; NOW SHE’S HELPING OTHERS DO THE SAME BY ALEXANDRA ANASTASIO
PHOTOGRAPHY BY JESSICA CIRZ STYLING BY MINDY GURA AND PAULA ORLAN MAKEUP BY LAUREN VENA HAIR BY JENNIFER CAPELLA FOR GLAMLIFE LOUNGE LOCATION: 25 TUDOR CITY PLACE, UNIT 911, NEW YORK CITY DOUGLAS ELLIMAN PROPERTIES. REPRESENTED BY THE ROSEN TEAM
Orange suit: Seventy Sneakers: Golden Goose
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hether you watch her on TV, follow her social media accounts, read her books, or attend one of her speaking engagements, you are sure to come away from the experience that is Mel Robbins feeling empowered, inspired, and confident that change is possible. For the past decade, Mel has been guiding people who are struggling, helping them reinvent their lives via her work as a successful life coach, international bestselling author, motivational speaker, and now host of her own daytime talk show, “The Mel Robbins Show.” Her ability to listen to others, assess any type of situation, and serve as a lifeline to those in need is something that’s been a part of the fabric of her life since she was a young girl growing up in a small town in Western Michigan. “Kids watch what you do, not what you say,” says Mel, “and I grew up in a home where my parents worked very hard and were civic-minded.” The “all hands on deck” mentality that is required for a small town to function was part of the building blocks of Mel’s future. What makes viewers and those who follow her closely fall a little more in love with Mel is the fact that she is the “real deal.” She doesn’t just talk the talk; she has literally walked the walk. Her advice and tools for reinvention (she invented the famous self-help “5 Second Rule”) aren’t random observations, but rather experiences she herself has lived through and conquered. BELLA Magazine had the opportunity to sit down with this inspiring woman, who is also a mother of three, for a very open and honest conversation about her personal journey toward reinvention, the secret behind achieving your dreams, and how she is on a mission to help others.
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As young kids, we all have this vision of what it is we want to do when we grow up. What was yours?
At first I thought I wanted to grow up and be a doctor like my dad and work in cancer research, but after one pre-med class in college, I said, “This isn’t for me.” If I’m honest with myself, there was a part of me that saw shows like Montel, Donahue, and the early days of Oprah, because that’s what my mom would have on TV, and they fascinated me. I thought, wouldn’t it be cool to do something like that, but like many people, I dismissed it. How on earth would I possibly do that, and who am I even to think I should be able to do that? And so it was this quiet thing inside of me that I don’t think ever left. Over the years, I found ways to approximate that and, of course, now it’s not lost on me that it took me until I was 51 years old to actualize my dream in the same format I had originally been called by as a kid.
That’s part of the beauty of reinvention—constantly being able to evolve and change course. What is it about this concept that stands out for you?
I love the theme because there is so much science behind the fact that it’s possible— even at a cellular level, at a neuropathway level—that you can make a decision to change your habits whether they are physical or mental. All of my work is about how you think about yourself, how you think about what’s possible, and reinventing the narrative you’re telling yourself. It’s scientifically proven that you can change the patterns of thought in your mind, the way you talk to yourself, your default thoughts, the patterns that trigger anxiety, the triggers associated with PTSD—and all of this is possible because we have access to many tools, resources, and people at our fingertips thanks to the Internet. What I want women in particular to understand is that the power is in first changing the way you think about what you want and what you deserve. Secondly, [it’s] shrinking down the massive dream and thinking how you can approximate and start doing a version of that big thing you dream about, then get started and gain momentum. Simply by taking those actions, you move your life in a new direction immediately.
You talk candidly about hitting rock bottom. What stands out most about the experience?
It would have been so easy to throw my hands up in the air and say "F**ck it, I give up." For six months I talked myself out of doing the one thing that started the change in my life, and that was just getting out of bed when the alarm went off. I was unemployed at the time, we were $800,000 in debt, the liens had hit the house, we had no savings, a maxed-out home equity line of credit, and my husband wasn’t getting paid because his restaurants were going under. I would hear that alarm, I would know I needed to get up, but instead of getting up, which is the simplest action, I would lie there and think about all of our problems, and within five seconds all of the weight of anxiety and depression, overwhelm and fear, swallowed me in that bed and I would reach for the snooze alarm. So my day began with a mental defeat and I would say in those moments, “It doesn’t matter.” My problems were so big—how could getting out of bed possibly change anything? And that’s the mistake and trap that everybody is in. You know the little things you need to do, yet you are actively talking yourself out of it because you are afraid. You’ve convinced yourself it’s not going to matter, that small moves aren’t going to change things, when in fact it’s how you change everything. That is what stands out the most—how actively I was working against myself. I was missing a tool, and I didn’t know how to motivate myself when I felt scared and overwhelmed, anxious, and angry. But that is the beauty of the 5 Second Rule— you have a tool when you’re in a moment of feeling trapped…5,4,3,2,1, I’m moving.
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Your call to action was seeing a rocket launch on TV. How did that change the trajectory of your life?
It was a Monday night in February. I was four Manhattans into my evening, and I was sitting there in our living room, and all of a sudden this rocket ship went across the screen. And here was the thinking, maybe if I launch myself out of bed I could move fast enough and beat the anxiety and depression, and I could be moving before my thoughts took over. There is a five-second window of hesitation that defines everybody—it is the difference between courage and fear, confidence and self-doubt, being stagnant or active, and being the same or reinventing yourself. If you can close that window, you will win. You will overcome the things that currently hold you back, and that’s what happened in my life. All of these five-second pushes are wins that reinvent everything because you are getting yourself in action even though you don’t feel like it. It’s changed millions of people’s lives.
How does it feel, knowing you are playing a role, however big or small, in someone else’s story?
It is the greatest honor of a lifetime to make a difference in somebody’s life. It’s why I get out of bed in the morning. It’s what drives me.
be highly addictive and it changes the way your mind processes information. It becomes a tool that’s distracting, that isolates you, that has you seeing perfect images of people that are living a fake or real life that have you question what you’re doing. Here is where I think the opportunity is—be intentional and deliberate about how you use it, and approach it like it is something that is supposed to be for you because you are giving others the most valuable commodity— your attention—and you don’t want to hand that to just anybody. I do something every Friday called “Unfollow Friday,” where I go through my feed and unfollow people and brands, and it has made a big difference. I am reminding myself that this is for me, and I am going to be extremely deliberate about who I am giving access to me. The second thing is, I think social media is incredible because if you are trying to reinvent yourself, there are thousands of accounts you can follow that will give you inspiration all day long, or [serve as] examples of somebody in real life doing the thing you want to do. You can either use social media to make yourself feel wrong, or worse than, or you can use it as a tool to keep looking ahead.
In addition to your show, what’s up next?
What motivates and inspires you?
I’m working on a new book called, “The 5 Decisions,” which explores the five simple decisions that change the way you think.
Your talk show launched in September. What do you hope to accomplish with this platform?
And last January I took on a project of leading a 35-day program that teaches the science of how you change your mindset and default thoughts. You can eat all the kale you want and still be unhealthy in your mind. For anyone who wants to check it out, the free videos and workbook are still available for download on my website.
The thing that inspires me is the everyday people like you and me who are facing the things that scare them, who are working hard to make their lives and relationships a little better. That’s the most inspiring thing in the world
What I’m striving to do is take really complex topics and talk about them in a way that is so unbelievably relatable. I want to unpack all of the research and science that has been uncovered and explain it in a way that is entertaining and accessible to the average person. I also hope our show not only entertains, but that we serve as a lifeline; we make you feel connected to something [and] that you feel a little better at the end than you did when you started watching. The whole purpose of the show is to demonstrate that change is possible.
One of the topics you’ve touched upon in the live coffee talk videos you share on your Instagram page relates to confidence and the concept of filtering. How do you think social media plays a role in a person’s well-being?
It’s all in how you interact with it, but here is the negative first: We live in what I call the “Attention Economy,”’ and our attention is for sale. It’s important to always keep in mind that social media was built not as a platform for you, but as a platform upon which companies can make money by getting your attention. It is designed to
What is the most important takeaway you hope your followers will carry with them from the work you do?
This idea that if you change how you think, your whole life changes. I say this a lot on the show and it’s really important on the topic of reinvention. You have been dealt a hand of cards by life, and regardless of what hand you’ve been dealt and are currently holding, it’s all about how you play that next card. When you focus on taking that next step, you can change absolutely anything. MelRobbinsShow @MelRobbinsShow Mel Robbins Show MelRobbinsShow.com Personal @MelRobbins
87
celebrity life | dreams realized
Alison Pill
LIVING OUT THE BEST VERSION OF HER CHILDHOOD
DREAM By Alexandra Anastasio
88
I
f you’ve watched Alison Pill in any of the projects she’s been a part of (“The Newsroom,” “Vice,” and “In Treatment”), then you know she is the type of actor who can tackle any kind of role. Her experience in the industry runs deep, first as a child actor and then transitioning into more adult roles both on TV and in the theater.
In a business that can be tough, Alison’s love for performing provides all the strength she needs to keep her going. “This has always been something I loved, [so] I could take the rejection,” she says. The opportunity to “play pretend” every day is not lost on her, nor is the fact she has been able to continue as a working actor for most of her life. “I am living out the best version of my dream,” says Alison. In 2020, she is starring in a handful of new projects, including the highly anticipated “Star Trek: Picard,” which has fans of the franchise excited for its release.
BELLA sat down with the actress to talk about her new projects, especially one that contains episodes she says might be too scary even for her to watch. She also opened up about how the role of motherhood has changed her seemingly overnight. You’ve been acting since childhood both on TV and on the stage. Do you prefer one medium over another?
Theater is where my heart is a lot of the times, and something that is much harder I think. There are no second takes, and due to the marathon of a run—eight shows a week, six days a week—the discipline required is much more than TV. It’s the opposite of the way film and TV work. The depth of the work is different, too; once my job is finished in TV other people like the editor and director take over. In theater it’s the actor, the lighting team, and the stage manager who are there every single day.
Later this month, the highly anticipated “Star Trek: Picard” debuts. What is the focus of this particular series?
It’s all about Picard. He’s retired from the Star Fleet, at his vineyard, and there are a lot of questions about mortality and usefulness, along with the wonderful Star Trek questions that surround humanity and how you embrace “the other.” I think that is one of the great successes of all of the shows—looking at the futurist, aspirational views of what humans could be. [It’s about] all of that stuff, as well as some bigger questions about Picard and his place in the world.
Photography by Catie Laffoon
How would you define your character, Dr. Agnes Jurati?
I think she is one of those people, like many on the show, who is unbearably lonely. She’s a scientist who’s been working on her own for so many years that she doesn’t even realize how much she’s been looking for a team to be a part of. There’s this really beautiful desire to be a part of something and searching for whatever that is that I think people will be able to relate to. And, she is really funny.
MsAlisonPill
What does it mean to be a part of such an iconic franchise?
It’s a really big honor, and the love and acceptance from the fan base is something I am excited to be a part of. Plus, there is nothing cooler than being a part of a pretend Starship fight!
You’re starring in another sci-fi thriller called “Devs.” What’s special about this project for you?
Alex Garland wrote and directed every episode, and it feels like an eight-hour movie instead of eight episodes. I am so excited for people to see it. Alex is one of my favorites; I’ve been a fan of everything he’s done, from his novels to his screenplays. His way of taking a genre and making it really smart and dark truly makes him a genius. He also reads a lot of science, and the scientific discussions that happen in this show are very real and exciting. It was fascinating material to dive into.
Rounding out your upcoming projects is the thriller, “Them: Covenant,” on Amazon. What is the mystery surrounding the show?
I can’t express my gratitude for three amazing and different projects that all say really wonderful things and bring up great questions for where we are today. “Them: Covenant” is a thriller about the horror of white supremacy. It’s about a family who moves into a white neighborhood and the warping of minds and lives that comes from white supremacy and this forced identity of who we are by race or by gender. It’s terrifying and it’s real, and there isn’t a better genre to look at it than horror. There are some episodes I won’t be able to watch because they are so scary and horrifying.
With each role you are reinventing yourself. What do you enjoy most about that process?
I have been lucky to work with really great costume designers and hair and makeup people. These three projects have been back-to-back, so mentally getting into each role is a real gift [as I’m] slowly able to put each character together. There are many decisions that go into how we present ourselves to the world, and the visual side is very helpful. I look in the mirror and think, “Oh, there’s me.” But it’s so helpful to be able to look in the mirror and say, “Oh that’s ‘whatever character I’m portraying.’”
Personally, what has been your biggest reinvention to date?
I would say the reinvention of self that comes with parenthood is a big one. Overnight you’re suddenly a different person; your world shifts in a way you can’t prepare for. You have to experience it firsthand to truly understand. I think it’s made my work better and more focused.
What life lessons do you hope to pass along to your daughter?
I hope to teach her ethical stewardship of the planet. I want to teach her kindness, morality, and openness to others, and that science is amazing and kind of like real magic. I hope she grows up in a world where dudes in suits do not solely guard positions of power, and I would like to have that be a real-life lesson that the power construction currently in place is just that—a construction—and it can be dismantled and built in new ways.
@MsAlisonPill
Alison Pill
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celebrity life | new beginnings
Josh Segarra
AN ACTOR AND A FAMILY MAN WHO KNOWS HE’S RIGHT WHERE HE
BELONGS By Alexandra Anastasio
90
L
ike many young boys of his generation, actor Josh Segarra grew up idolizing the sport of wrestling. Watching it at home, creating matches with his buddies, and imitating his favorite wrestlers in front of the mirror (something Josh says he still does) are some of his favorite childhood memories. “They were my first superheroes,” explains the actor. “These guys were larger than life to me.”
Josh’s passion for the sport and the countless hours spent perfecting those imitations led him to the theater, he says. “Now I watch wrestling through a different lens—I watch them as artists,” he says. “It’s live theater.” Like the wrestlers he grew up idolizing, Josh is the type of performer who gives his all to each and every role. He has starred in shows like “Sirens,” “Chicago P.D.,” and “Orange is the New Black,” as well as on the big screen in “Train Wreck.” He originated the role of Emilio Estefan in the Broadway smash, “On Your Feet.” He also recently starred alongside Denis Leary and Elizabeth Perkins in the holiday-themed mini-series, “The Moody’s.” Yet his biggest role for 2020 is impending fatherhood, for the second time. Josh and his wife are awaiting the arrival of their second son in January.
As funny as he is sweet, Josh spent some time with BELLA talking about his upcoming roles, life as a dad, and what he’s most looking forward to in the New Year. You’re starting 2020 off with a new show, “AJ and the Queen,” starring the infamous RuPaul. What is its premise?
You’re also part of another great show on Comedy Central, “The Other Two,” written by two former “Saturday Night Live” head writers. Returning for season two this year, how has the experience been?
I am so fortunate that they let me come and play with them—I love going to work with those guys. Just the way Chris [Kelly] and Sara [Schneider] write—the references and quips they make, and the jokes that leave you laughing seconds later—I love all of that. My character, Lance, is a dreamer. I hope he gets to pitch many more shoe designs—that’s one of my favorite things he does. He’s always coming up with great business ideas, so I hope in season two he comes up with more.
You’ve had the opportunity to play a wide range of characters. While you get to reinvent yourself through each one, would you say it’s also challenging?
Looking back on the roles I’ve played, they’ve all been different and I’m so proud of that. With each one you reinvent yourself and you give it your best. When someone gives me the ball I want to run as fast as I can and not drop it; that’s what I promise everybody I get to work with.
Ru plays a down-on-her-luck drag queen named Ruby Red who is traveling cross country in her RV to try and make back some of the money that was stolen from her. Along the way she finds a stowaway—a little boy named AJ—and they become an odd couple of sorts.
If I look back at the roles I went out for in the beginning of my career that are still on TV today, I think about how different all of this would have been. I look at my wife and my 3 year old and the baby on the way, and when I think about my family and my career, I wouldn’t change any of it. I’m proud of each character— that’s the stars aligning.
I play Hector, Ruby Red’s boyfriend, and you quickly see that he has a darker side to him, but audiences don’t know too much about him just yet.
Your biggest role is that of a dad to your little boy and it’s about to expand with the upcoming arrival of your second son. How would you say your life was “reinvented” as a parent?
What are you looking forward to with this new show?
When Gus showed up, he changed the game. He brings me so much joy and peace, and I’m so proud of him that it makes all of this worthwhile. In my business it’s easy to get wrapped up in your own head—you can find a million things to get insecure about, or a million reasons why you should stop or quit, or that you’re not enough.
Your work on the show “Arrow” is coming to an end now that it’s in its final season. What will you miss most?
When I feel that way, I look at him, and he talks in his little 3-yearold voice, and when you have someone like that relying on you, it makes it easier to release all of those insecurities that bring us down; there’s no time for it. He doesn’t care if Dada didn’t do well at that audition today, or that he’s scared about tackling this new project and being vulnerable again, or wanting to make his family proud—there’s no one more proud of me than him and my wife.
Working with Ru was so much fun and I got to see some pretty cool numbers being performed by our Queen; that’s a one-ofa-kind experience, and I really enjoyed it. I’m also excited about the stories we’re about to tell and the conversations families may have as a result. I love being a part of it and honored to be a part of the team.
Photography by Nathan Johnson
I loved working on the show because it was the first time I had the opportunity to craft a story arc from episode one to 22. It was fun to craft this journey with the writers. Villains never think they’re the bad guy—they think they’re the hero—so to craft a villain like him was fun. There are no boundaries when you are bringing a comic book character to life, so when you can play in that world, there are no limits. That was a fun space to be in.
I’m going to miss putting on that Prometheus costume and getting to live out every 8 year old’s dream—dressing up in costume, pretend sword-fighting or throwing ninja stars, doing a Bruce Lee in their bedroom…I got to do it all. I learned new skills and added a couple of things to an arsenal I didn’t know existed. JoshSegarra
@JoshSegarraFans
Josh Segarra Fans
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the love files | lifelong love
MILITARY
WIVES
All relationships Reinventing Themselves and Their Relationships come with their own trials and By Ilsy J. Hoo tribulations, but being married to a military spouse raises the bar to a whole new level. We can all learn a thing or two about building and maintaining healthy relationships from military wives.
KAYLEIGH
Kayleigh was a high school English teacher who married Tyler, an Army E5 Sergeant based out of Pennsylvania, after a friend set them up on a blind date.
Having grown up in a family that moved around a lot, Kayleigh never pictured herself marrying into a relationship that required her to continue that lifestyle. “But I fell in love with Tyler, so I was less concerned about ‘the perfect picture’ because there really isn’t such a thing,” Kayleigh said. “Instead, I made some sacrifices so he could pursue his calling. And in return, he makes sure I have what I need to be a great stay-at-home mom.” KEEPING THE MARRIAGE HOT: Time apart is not easy, but Tyler and Kayleigh
are blessed with the technology to email or FaceTime one another to help bring their lives together. Kayleigh also spices things up by sending care packages to Tyler with snacks and Polaroid pictures of their 8-month-old son, their dog and, of course, some “goodie pics” of herself. KEEPING A COOL HEAD: Though relocating several times has made for a bit of a rollercoaster ride, Kayleigh has been able to reinvent herself from
an English teacher to the writer she always hoped to become, writing and editing content for a non-profit; editing speeches for others; and working on a novel she has always wanted to write. She also surrounds herself with a great support system that she’s found in her family and church.
SUNSHINE
Sunshine, an Army veteran, stay-athome mother, part-time actor, model, and jewelry-maker (WeBuyBlack.com/ UnicornCandyBoutique.com), found comfort in marrying Brendon, an Army Sergeant First Class, because having spent time on her own deployments, it felt familiar and natural. “Being a veteran and being married to active military is therapy in itself,” Sunshine said. “And there’s more patience and understanding with the lifestyle.” KEEPING THE MARRIAGE HOT:
ARMING YOURSELF WITH THE TOOLS TO THRIVE Psychology expert and life coach Dr. Cheyenne Bryant (DrBryant.co) echoes the sentiments of these military wives and stresses the importance of military couples arming themselves with tools for a successful marriage, particularly for the adjustment period after a deployment. These tools include:
• Preventative life coaching therapy, which allows both parties to get into the headspace of their partner, opens up the lines of communication, and helps them learn how to recognize red flags.
•
Spouse “check-ins” keep the lines of communication open and normalize the experience so the entire family sees it and understands it. These also help build coping skills, making deployment less stressful on the marriage, and helping to create a healthy family dynamic.
Sunshine and Brendon also know how to keep their relationship fresh. “When we’re apart, we handwrite letters and have phone and video sex. We also read the same books together and date one another long distance. When we’re together, we take a few hours to ourselves to go hiking or to go to the movies, and then we spend time with our four kids.” KEEPING A COOL HEAD: Her best advice
to those who’ve married into the military is to have your own hobbies and to get involved with in-person and virtual groups like The Marriage Club on Facebook to keep yourself busy and engaged. And for the sake of the marriage, she says, create an exciting romance that can sustain the long distance.
•
Discovering who you are in your new environment, particularly for stay-at-home moms, by dating yourself while the military partner is away. This will help build a solid understanding of who you are mentally and spiritually, and the type of people you want to surround yourself with.
By the time Jillian met Army Captain Lonnie, she was the sole supporter of her children and had already conquered a cycle of addiction and psychological and physical abuse. She was thrilled to finally find a partner who respected her and wanted her to stay home to take care of the household.
JILLIAN
But given the complex trauma she suffered at a younger age, she was concerned she would be unable to maintain a relationship with someone who traveled so often. Lonnie compromised by changing his post and going into the Reserves so he could be home more. It soon became evident however, that he was unhappy with the move. They then made the decision together that he should go back into active duty. KEEPING THE MARRIAGE HOT: “When he’s not away,” said Jillian, “I
create adventures for us go on to take his mind away from his day-to-day life.” She also recommends regular date nights and walks together for quality time and to keep that love alive. KEEPING A COOL HEAD: To support her own mental, physical, and
spiritual needs, Jillian shifted her focus to creating her own line of outdoor apparel for women, ReelHousewivesoftheDeepSouth.com, which allows her to promote her family’s love of the outdoors while passing on the tradition of hunting and fishing to her children. She published her memoir, “My Ugly Truth: Life Beyond Abuse,” in which she shares her journey through abuse, addiction, and her quest for freedom, self-love, and wholeness and invented a “Mommy Go Bag” that contains all the essentials needed when you’re a mom that’s constantly on the go. Being a military spouse is truly a test of self, partnership, and reinvention that requires more TLC than most relationships. But with the right tools and practices, those relationships can truly thrive.
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the love files | relationships
7Truths Ugly
By Jarrod Thalheimer
N
o one starts a relationship expecting it to fail. In fact, most people will go to extraordinary lengths— putting up with all manner of insult, personal indignity and even shame—just to prop up the longest of shots at true love.
But they don’t have to. There is a better way. Granted, it’s not always easy, and it might sometimes short-circuit a (seemingly) promising relationship early on. Still, it’s worth it overall. FACT: all relationships contain at least seven ugly truths. Many folks try to ignore them or pretend they don’t exist in hopes that they’ll “go away” or “not be an issue.” That’s a mistake. Eventually, they all find their way to the surface and then it’s too late. Confront these ugly truths early on and watch your odds of securing a lasting, loving relationship increase exponentially. Don’t believe me? Read on, if you dare.
Ugly Truth
1
#
Living with
Another Person is Hard
You can fool yourself all you like but living with another person is hard. Not at first, of course. The excitement of playing house trumps most of the immediate negatives. You’re so jazzed about throwing in with someone that you forget they might not be crazy about your neon bar sign in the dining room, or that you might not want 200 square feet of cat towers added to your den. Do I even have to mention bathroom issues?!
Now, none of these are reasons to end a relationship, but they are the kind of issues that will pile up between you. Pay attention to how you each already live apart and prepare to make concessions going in. Ignoring this ugly truth guarantees relationship failure sooner rather than later. 94
Ugly Truth
2
#
Money Is Always a
Problem
Making plans for a shared life is crazy-exciting. Everything is fresh, new, and wide open. You both can’t wait to pitch in and “make it” together. Then the bills start to come. Things will likely keep rolling as long as there is enough to cover them, but what happens when someone gets laid off or fired? How about one of you spending more than they should?
Suddenly, the issues that were “no big deal” take on a whole new importance. And don’t think more money saves the day. The more money you have only means the problems can be larger. Talk these things out in advance as best you can and plan for worst-case scenarios. That way, when the inevitable stresses occur, you are traveling a path that you’re both prepared to walk.
Ugly Truth
The odd bit of weird sex play might seem kinky cute early on in your # time together, but when the going gets longer, certain non-traditional sexual proclivities Will Cause might become hard to handle. “Fifty Shades of Grey” might make for good fiction but the actual lifestyle can be pretty tough to swallow.
5
Weird Sex
Issues
Maybe things like swinging, aka “being part of the lifestyle,” seem OK in casual form, but it can get a lot harder to tolerate when your days start getting packed with work, kids, and school. No one is suggesting that two consenting adults can’t do what they like, but you better be crystal clear on what each of you is into and how far you’re willing to go. Having an open, frank discussion might feel awkward, but you will avoid a ton of painful heartache down the road—guaranteed.
Ugly Truth
3
#
Kids =
Stress
Children are wonderful, and building a family is the most positive, natural, and productive thing you can do. But their presence will test your relationship like nothing else. From the sleepless nights of infanthood and the insane energy of toddlers on to the sullen snark of teenagers and beyond, your every weakness will be pushed to its breaking point.
You love your kids, no doubt, but recognizing early on the stress headed your way will remind you to take a smarter “us vs. them” approach. You need to see yourself as a team, strengthening your relationship together. That gives you the only chance you have at emerging victorious as parents—and together.
Ugly Truth
You might try to convince yourself that his passive-aggressive mother or her domineering father will not play # a significant role in your relationship, but you would be wrong. When you In-laws tie yourselves together, there is more than just the two of you bound up. Your respective in-laws will make regular, consequential appearances throughout your shared life together. From birthdays, holidays, and all manner of events and life in-between they will be front and center.
4
Matter
Can’t stand her mom’s awkward kisses? How about his dad’s creepy roving eye? Get this stuff laid out on the table and dissected ASAP or expect to have these little annoyances injecting subtle shots of poison throughout your time together. Better yet–find a way to reach common ground and recruit them as allies in your shared relationship. You’ll be very glad you did.
Ugly Truth
6
#
You Will Know
Too Much
Often when you fall in love, you become consumed with wanting to know every single detail about your significant other and his or her life. That’s great–but pace yourself. I’m not saying you shouldn’t ask questions or seek to learn as much about each other as you can; it’s critical that you do exactly that. It’s just important to know that you will eventually see all the bad things too.
For some, the surprise of learning negative realities about someone is too much to handle and they run away screaming. Instead, remind yourself of your own negatives and perhaps there is a chance for both of you to survive peeking inside the hidden rooms of your deeper selves. If you can, true happiness awaits.
Ugly Truth
7
#
Fights
Will
Happen
Most early conflicts between new lovers dry up and blow away instantly. Both are so quick to impress the other that the rush to give in on things will make an outsider’s head spin. “Oh no, let’s go see the movie YOU want to see!” “No, no, no – let’s visit ALL the antique stores on your list.”
That will start to change as your relationship begins to cure. Suddenly, the will to give in is leavened thanks to yet another rough day at work, more screaming kids, or whatever other daily face-punch you’ve managed to endure. “No, I DON’T want to watch Tucker Carlson again!” Fighting is OK. You both have to stand your ground at various points, both for your own respect and the respect of the other. Just remember to avoid being mean or making things personal. As long as the fighting never involves actual, physical contact, you will get to look forward to the best part of the scrap: making up.
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A NOVEL IDEA
Ring in the New Decade,
You
Ring in the New
Well, hello, 2020! If you’re ready to hit the ground running in this new decade, make room on your bookshelf for these titles. In keeping with our issue’s theme of reinvention, we’ve got some wonderful authors ready to dish on all things related to self-improvement. And, of course, we’ve got some fiction finds that we’re loving, too.
Whatever your personal goals are for the new year and beyond, we hope you’ll make reading part of them. By Barbara Bellesi Zito
BOW DOWN: LESSONS FROM DOMINATRIXES ON HOW TO GET EVERYTHING YOU WANT BY LINDSAY GOLDWERT Tiller Press
OK, we’ll give you a hot second In addition to to clutch your pearls before being a popular we dive into this one. Yes, podcaster and dominatrixes are the subject personal finance of this book, and no, it’s not expert, Lindsay all about sex. It’s about power also performs and getting what you want stand-up out of life. If you’re sick of throughout New apologizing and tired of York City. having to compromise in any aspect of your life, this is the book for you.
NOW IS THE TIME TO TAKE BACK YOUR POWER This is not a book about empowerment—it’s about power. In fact, Lindsay feels the word empowerment has lost its meaning—probably because it implies someone else is granting it to you, she explains. “I want to do this all myself,” Lindsay says. “I wanted to feel a sense of power.” The word empower seems ‘very nice,’ she explains, whereas power “maybe doesn’t have to feel so nice.”
Lindsay Goldwert interviewed the stars of the dominatrix scene in the U.S. to learn about what having power really means and how to reset its dynamic in your life. Herein lies the tips and tricks you need to transform your work, your relationships—and yes, your sex life, too.
Novels to
Notice
OONA OUT OF ORDER MARGARITA MONTIMORE Flatiron Books
This novel is a magical reflection on how love and family endure over time.
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Nineteen-year-old Oona Lockhart is in for a wild ride of a life. On New Year’s Eve 1982, she faints during the countdown to midnight. When she awakens, she is 51 years old. She has a husband and a house, neither of which are familiar. She soon learns that every year, she will jump across time into another random year of her life. Thus begins the out-of-order life of Oona, who despite her age still feels like the same 19-year-old girl on the inside. This novel reflects on living life to the fullest—even if it means living it out of order.
Photography by Mindy Tucker
Does that mean dominatrixes are not nice people? Quite the contrary, actually. Lindsay says the ones she spoke to for her book are “very kind and empathetic women.” She invites readers to “rethink their stereotypes” and be open to learning about “something that might be a little different.”
TINFOIL BUTTERFLY RACHEL EVE MOULTON MCD x FSG Originals
This debut novel is a haunting tale of both love and evil.
Intent on escaping her violent past, Emma hitchhikes her way across the country. She encounters Lowell, who seems harmless at first until Emma is left bloodied and alone with a gun and a van in need of gas in a quiet town in the Black Hills. At a diner, she meets Earl, a young boy wearing a tinfoil mask. He steals her gun, intent on getting rid of someone named George. As she helps Earl, Emma can’t help but confront her own past.
INDIE AUTHOR
EVERYTHING IS FIGUREOUTABLE MARIE FORLEO
Spotlight
Portfolio
ALWAYS CONNECTING: HOW I BUILT MY BUSINESS AND NAVIGATED THE SIGNS TO SUCCESS DIANE TURTON
Looking for a new mantra for a new decade? The title of this book will serve you well. Award-winning host of MarieTV and multipassionate entrepreneur Marie Forleo gives the oomph you need to get back on track to fulfilling your dreams. Much more than a quick fix or a New Year’s resolution that will be forgotten by February, Want more this book offers a Marie? Check blueprint to reboot your out The thinking to get past Marie Forleo challenges that have Podcast. been holding you back.
The story of Diane Turton’s climb to the top of the New Jersey real estate market is nothing short of inspirational. Overcoming a tough childhood and crippling shyness, Diane thrived in her college real estate business classes (she was the only female student) and earned her real estate license at age 19.
JOY SEEKER: LET GO OF WHAT’S HOLDING YOU BACK SO YOU CAN LIVE THE LIFE YOU WERE MADE FOR SHANNON KAISER Citadel
We could all use a little more joy in our lives, and empowerment coach Shannon Kaiser is here to show us how to get it. If you’ve been The relentless stuck in a rut, this book will pressure to help you get out and get back succeed, measure on the road to finding your up, and reach for “true self ”— who Shannon goals can leave says actually holds the easier us feeling like we’re just not plan for your life and is eager good enough—or to guide you through it. This that something’s missing. At the end book will help you break beyond the notion that you of the day, after giving it our all, the aren’t good enough and lead last thing we want you to discover the “poetry to feel is hopeless, within,” which is what makes anxious, and you unique. disconnected.
Add This to Your
Top 5 Shows to Binge
This Year
Can you believe it’s been 20 years since the movie “High Fidelity” came out? Remember John Cusack as a Top 5 list-obsessed record store owner? Well, the story based on Nick Hornby’s novel of the same name is getting remixed in a major way: The music-obsessed main character is now a female played by Zoe Kravitz. We can’t wait to see hilarious relationship woes told from a new and hip POV. Be sure to check it out when it comes to Hulu in February.
Despite the hostility and setbacks she faced as a female entrepreneur, her innovative selling and branding methods earned her a spot on stages next to motivational speakers like Zig Ziglar. Once a young girl who was too timid to If you’ve ever been to the Jersey present a book report Shore, there’s an to her second grade excellent chance class, Diane is now the you’ve seen one author of a book that of Diane Turton’s will motivate others to FOR SALE signs. achieve success in any endeavor.
“Being blessed with the power of multi-tasking and not afraid to leave my comfort zone, I have reinvented myself in stages throughout my life. I have always followed my instincts and not my wallet. Success did not come naturally; it was hard work that required constant focus and being able to rally from my disappointments. The ups far outweighed the downs and you need to never give up.”
Fans of the original flick will remember Zoe’s mom, Lisa Bonet, played singersongwriter Marie DeSalle. 97
chow BELLA | all in the family
HOW KOW STEAKS
BRINGS THE RANCH
toYour Doorstep By Amanda Mactas
Jon Urbana and Craig Zimmerman are no strangers to hard work. The cousins and founders of KOW Steaks left the corporate world behind five years ago to return to their roots. Growing up on a farm in southwestern Iowa, the two, who are not only family but best friends, quickly learned the tricks of the trade—after all, their family has been farming for over 100 years. KOW Steaks sells high-end wagyu beef directly to consumers, ensuring that they are involved in not only every aspect of the cattle production, but the transportation and beef quality and production as
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well. Urbana says it best, “We’re going to take it from start to finish without having any distributors—or their hands—on our product. [We don’t want] any aging facilities that could change the taste, flavor or components of our meat.”
The company’s goal is to treat their meat the same way you would treat high-end wines, sushi, or bourbons—by bringing it right to the consumer with traceability in place. Raising their cattle in the terrain of Iowa—the “Bordeaux of cattle,” as they put it—lends itself to breeding the best wagyu in the country, and KOW takes top accolades.
THE
Ranch “Our family’s been involved in every aspect of cattle production over the years,” says Jon . That includes everything from feeding operations to beef production, as well as adhering to a strict nutrition plan for their cattle. KOW never administers any hormones or antibiotics, but feeds their cattle a diverse, colorful, vegetarian diet. Additionally, they raise their cattle for two years longer than the traditional US prime beef you typically find at classic American steakhouses.
KOW
KOW STEAKS USES THE JAPANESE RATING SYSTEM OF 1-12 TO GRADE ITS BEEF, WITH 12 BEING THE HIGHEST MARBLING. ALL OF THEIR STEAKS ARE 9+. (IN COMPARISON, AMERICAN PRIME BEEF IS EQUIVALENT TO A 4 OR 5 ON THE SCALE.) ONLY 2.2% OF BEEF CATTLE IN THE COUNTRY ARE GRADED THIS HIGH.
Their hands are on everything, farming not only wagyu cattle, but angus and alpha beef cattle, along with a plethora of crops like corn, soybeans, and oats. It may sound immense, but KOW is a small operation. And it’s going to remain that way, explains Jon. The family business is all about maintaining quality over quantity, capping production at around 40 tenderloins a week, making their wagyu a limited and special treat. Plus, when compared to Japanese wagyu, says Jon, KOW’s steak is less fatty and better balanced as a result of the better water quality and superior feed.
In theWild
While we highly recommend ordering some steaks straight to your home, there’s plenty of opportunity to try KOW Steaks while you’re out and about. They were one of the most sought after delicacies at this year’s Greenwich Wine and Food Festival, and they can be found in some of New York’s most distinguished restaurants, including Momofuku, Nobu, The Plaza Hotel and Delmonico’s. “We’re very selective in who we work with on the restaurant side,” Urbana explains.
“
It’s a family wide effort, and it’s fun,” Jon says. “When someone experiences KOW for the first time, it just makes it all so worth it.”
The feeling is mutual. “One of the greatest benefits of working with KOW is that there is no middle man—I’m able to work directly with ranchers who are personally raising these cows on their own family farm. KOW also produces exceptional quality beef; they use a rigorous Japanese grading system to measure marbling quality, flavor, texture and tenderness. “[That’s] to ensure each cut far exceeds the highest USDA grade,” explains Delmonico’s Executive Chef Billy Oliva
It’s a high-energy, fast-paced business, but one that Jon and Craig love. When asked what their favorite part of the job is, the answer was simple: All of it. From stringing together fencing wires to raising happy animals to seeing smiling chefs, the pride and feeling of accomplishment comes from everything around them, including their family. KowSteaks.com
KowSteaks
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chow BELLA | eat
Clean Never
Eating
Tasted So
Good By Kimberlee Ho of kickassbaker.com
When you’re busy, preparing a healthy and filling breakfast can be out of the question—especially in the morning. Lucky you, these breakfast cookies are here to save the day and get you out the door quickly with a clean and tasty breakfast. They are gluten-free with only good-for-you ingredients and can be frozen for on-the-go and out-the-door!
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HEALTHY GLUTEN-FREE BREAKFAST COOKIES Servings: 15 breakfast cookies Prep Time: 10 minutes Cook Time: 15 Minutes INGREDIENTS: • 2 cups gluten-free oats, divided • 2 tablespoons flax meal • 1/4 cup arrowroot starch • 1/2 teaspoon salt • 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon • 2 large eggs • 1/4 cup honey or pure maple syrup • 1/2 cup applesauce or apple butter • 2 tablespoons coconut oil, melted • 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract • 3/4 cup dried fruit such as raisins, cranberries, cherries, or apricots
DIRECTIONS: 1. Preheat oven to 350ºF. Line two baking sheets with parchment paper. Set aside. 2. In the bowl of a food processor, pulse 1 cup oats into a fine powder for 45-60 seconds. Add flax meal, arrowroot starch, salt, and cinnamon and pulse a couple of times to combine. 3. Pour into a large bowl and add remaining 1 cup of oats. Stir together to combine. Set aside. 4. In the now empty bowl of the food processor, purée honey, applesauce, coconut oil, and vanilla together until smooth. Add wet ingredients to dry ingredients and stir together just until all dry ingredients are fully incorporated. Stir in dried fruit. 5. With a ¼ cup measuring cup, scoop out cookie dough and place on the prepared cookie sheet, 5 cookies per sheet. 6. Bake in preheated oven at 350ºF for 15 minutes, rotating cookie sheets halfway through baking. Remove from oven and allow to cool on cookie sheets.
Note: Store baked cookies at room temperature in tightly sealed
ziptop bag. Cookies may be frozen as well. Wrap each individually in plastic wrap and store in freezer-safe bag for up to 3 months. Warm gently in microwave by unwrapping and placing on a microwave-safe plate. Heat at 50% power for 1-2 minutes until thawed and warm to the touch.
For more recipes, visit kickassbaker.com or @kickassbaker on Instagram and Pinterest. 101
home & life | counter intelligence
5
Smart Ways to Upgrade
Your
Kitchen
It’s often the “heart” of every home, so start your 2020 with clever ways to create a chic and connected kitchen. By Janene Mascarella
RECLAIM YOUR TIME
Looking for a revolutionary meal service/smart oven for busy people who want to enjoy fresh, homecooked meals without the time or work typically involved? Enter Tovala, created by David Rabie and Bryan Wilcox, an experienced culinary-tech duo driven by a shared frustration at how long it took to prep and cook fresh meals and a passion for food and technology. The two disrupted the meal delivery industry with a service designed for busy people wanting homecooked, better-for-you meals without the time required. And the best part—these meals, created by professional chefs, are downright delicious. Purchase your Tovala oven, choose your meals, scan the barcode with the Tovala app, and let the smart oven work its magic. The oven steams, bakes, broils, reheats, and toasts (it’s quite the mighty multi-tasker!). Smart oven and meals start at $199, Tovala.com 102
MAKE THE CONNECTION
The high-tech, high-style GE Appliances Kitchen Hub is designed for those looking to modernize their space, maximize their cooking resources, and connect their IoT devices in one central, eye-catching command center. It’s the heartbeat of the connected home, which includes a 27-inch integrated smart-touch screen and ventilation combination that fits easily above your range so you can upload culinary creations on social media channels with the downwardfacing camera on the cooktop or get cooking tips from Grandma via video chat with the front-facing camera. It also boasts a dual-camera system, guided cooking app, and U+ Connect smart home app so you can stream your favorite Netflix show, check the visitor at the front door through Nest, catch up on emails, and update the calendar while multitasking in the kitchen. $1,199 - $1,399, GEAppliances.com
MIX, SIP, AND GET GOING
With the touch of a button or a swipe in an app, you can turn ordinary water into a customized beverage packed with flavor, essential vitamins, and nutrients with LifeFuels, the world’s first smart nutrition bottle. The three-part system– bottle, FuelPods, and app–seamlessly work together to track hydration and intelligently adapt to your activities throughout the day. If you struggle with staying on track with your sips and staying hydrated, this is a bottle that adapts to your day. It’s truly a “refreshing” idea! $179, LifeFuels.com
CLEAR YOUR COUNTERTOP
Ever wish there was one appliance that does it all? Say hello to the Thermomix® TM6™ Wi-Fi connected, digitally-powered, all-in-one kitchen appliance that performs 20 culinary functions (cook, blend, steam, sous-vide, chop, knead, mill, sauté, and more) and guides you through 40,000+ global recipes step-bystep. (Yes, really!) By replacing virtually all kitchen appliances outside of an oven and a toaster, the TM6™ simplifies the kitchen, streamlines cooking steps, and saves time while making meal prep, cooking, and clean up efficient, fun, and delicious. $1,499, Thermomix.com
JUICE—SANS THE SCRUBBING With a radically changed juicing mechanism, Hurom’s H101 Easy Clean Slow Juicer
is the answer to all your juicing prayers. Hurom upgraded its design so you can enjoy optimized taste and nutrition without the hassle of complicated cleaning. You can finally say goodbye to small holes on the strainer that you had to scrub to remove pulp. With the new strainers with large, elongated grooves, simply rinse the parts in water. The juicer also comes with a control lever and a fine and coarse strainer that allows you to control the amount of pulp to suit your taste. $499, Hurom.com
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TRANSFORMING THE LIVES OF GIRLS THROUGH SPORTS
T U E S D AY M AY 1 9, 2 0 2 0 THE LIGHTHOUSE AT PIER 61 CHELSEA PIERS, NYC 5:30PM - 10:00PM TITLE SPONSOR
Join us for a very special evening as Powerplay celebrates the bright futures ahead for the young women of our SuperSTARS Leadership Academy and honor the accomplishments of role models who inspire them. Help build confidence & resiliency in our young women by reserving a seat today, or donate (fully taxdeductible) to help fund our empowering programs, expand our reach, and increase our impact.
V I S I T
P OW E R P L AY N YC . O R G
T O
L E A R N
M O R E
BELLA
MIND & BODY
WHO NEEDS A FANCY GYM MEMBERSHIP? ∙ FEELING COMFORTABLE IN YOUR OWN SKIN SNOOZE YOUR WAY TO A HEALTHIER YOU ∙ ELEVATING THE EXPERIENCE OF BIRTH EMPOWERING RESOURCES FOR MOTHERS ∙ A NEW WAY TO HYDRATE
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mind & body | sweat
YOU DON’T NEED
a
Fancy
GYM
MEMBERSHIP… By Alesha Lazan Additional reporting by Ashley Keegan
The days of needing a pricey gym membership are over. You can now workout from anywhere with a variety of different programs you can stream right from your TV, computer, or phone. With so many options, however, it can feel overwhelming. The key is to choose the right workout for you—one that will keep you motivated and coming back for more. No more one-size-fits-all!
BELLA breaks out of the gym to report on today’s leading on-demand fitness offerings… 106
THE STUDIO SWEAT ONDEMAND APP, which you can stream from anywhere, keeps fitness interesting thanks to different app-accessible classes, such as TRX, yoga, abs, kettlebells, and more. Their motto is "Real People, Real SWEAT, Real Results." This is for any level—you choose the intensity, as well as if you want to follow a pre-recorded session or would rather workout with others in a live virtual class. Studio Sweat OnDemand also provides a Facebook group so you can feel part of a community even when you are home. Share results, comments, and feedback with people all around the world. 7-day free trial; $99.28/6 months, StudioSweatOnDemand.com
STREET PARKING is another convenient— and cheaper—alternative to joining a traditional gym. Members gain access to a large library of exercise videos, demos, tips, and tutorials. Very little equipment and space is necessary to get in a full workout, whether you live in a small apartment or are trying to squeeze in a hotel workout on the go. However, if you do have access to more comprehensive gym equipment, you have the option to increase your burn, incorporate more movement, and take your workout to the next level. Wherever you are on your fitness journey—even postpartum—Street Parking’s daily workouts can shift to meet your needs and help you reach your specific goals. $19/month or $180/year, StreetParking.com
Photography byBenedick David
DAILY BURN offers thousands of different exercise videos to keep your workout fresh day after day. Just enter a few details about your fitness level and goals, and Daily Burn will suggest tailored programs to fit your needs, including daily workout videos and nutrition plans. However, you can try any program at any time—from yoga and Pilates to cardio kickboxing and HIIT—and experiment with new workouts so you don’t get bored. They even offer a running program you can follow on a treadmill or outdoors. Some programs require little to no equipment, and you can stream your workouts from your TV or laptop wherever you go. 30-day free trial; subscriptions start at $14.95/month, DailyBurn.com
Sweating Alone?
Here’s how to ensure your solo success: • Track your goals in a notebook. Setting small goals that are easy to achieve can help you stay focused and on track. • Fire up a fabulous playlist. Music is everything when working out, so make sure you have some motivating tunes ready to sweat with you! • Get an accountability buddy. Grab a friend and set challenges with one another. This can help motivate both of you to achieve your goals and cheer one another on!
mind & body | advisory board
Feeling Comfortable IN YOUR OWN
SKIN By Alexandra Anastasio
108
A
s we welcome in a new year, the opportunities for change are endless. While many people will make resolutions and set intentions for the months ahead, the real excitement comes from knowing that reinvention is possible at any time. How that looks is different for everyone. Maybe it’s a chance to invent oneself again or even anew, but the end result is the same. What we all want is to feel good, be comfortable in our own skin, and live a happy life. When we talk about reinvention, there are countless ways to go about achieving it, and sometimes we may need to look toward others, such as a professional in a particular field, to make change possible. Dr. B. Aviva Preminger, one of New York City’s top plastic surgeons, is one such professional who has been helping people not only look their best on the outside, but also feel their very best on the inside. Her patients run the gamut in age, but all have the same goal in common—to enhance their quality of life. “The bigger role is what this does for someone’s confidence,” says Dr. Preminger. “It’s the way they feel about themselves.” Whether it’s a woman who has had children and is also looking to feel sexy again, a divorcée dating for the first time in years, or someone going through a mid-life career change, all of these are significant moments of reinvention in a person’s life.
I have the patients who come in for one thing and I wind up doing other things as time goes on. For me it’s not really a one-and-done; I like to hear about how the things I do affect them in a positive way. I get to build trust over time. It’s also about maintenance. For example, if I do a face-lift and then never see them again, well who’s talking to them about skincare and who’s doing things to help them maintain the results?
What are some of the more sought-after treatments patients are seeking as a way to “reinvent” their look?
There are the common procedures such as Botox, fillers, and liposuction that we see often. I joke around and say that they should put Botox in the water. I tend to do a lot of breast surgeries and “Mommy Makeovers.” The makeovers are individually tailored to what the patient is looking to achieve and can include a wide range of things, such as minimally invasive and surgical procedures for the face and body.
Is there a particular time of year where you see a higher number of patients looking to make some physical changes?
Holiday time is a big one. People are making New Year’s resolutions and they want to look good. The other time of year is when spring hits—summer’s coming, so people are thinking ahead.
While we’re talking about all of the ways in which you help your patients achieve some form of reinvention, what have been some of your biggest changes?
“I feel like I am in a very privileged position where I am able to help them out,” explains Dr. Preminger. “I love what I do, and when a patient walks out of the room confident and smiling, I know I’ve done my job.”
I had to reinvent myself when I became a mother. There is the juggling act of being a mom and a full-time surgeon; I feel like I am constantly working on that process. It is also the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me.
BELLA Magazine sat down with Dr. Preminger for a candid conversation about the most requested procedures, the way in which she’s helping patients look and feel good, and her own personal reinventions, both past and present.
Another reinvention is one that I’m going though right now. I’m in the process of getting divorced. I was married for almost 20 years, I have three children, and I wouldn’t have done anything differently. I married young and it feels like I’ve been thrown a bit of a curve ball.
As a doctor, you play a big part in a patient’s reinvention story. How does it feel knowing you’re part of that change?
Now it’s about figuring out what I want at this point, and in some ways it’s an opportunity to start over. I just have to figure out what that means for me and how I want to do that.
I think it’s empowering for patients to have the option to reinvent themselves, and it’s one of the things I enjoy about what I do. It’s so nice to hear them say how I’ve changed their lives and how I’ve made them feel good about themselves. My office staff can tell you—and they laugh about it—but it’s not unusual for me to say multiple times a day, “I love my job.” It’s also important for me to maintain relationships with my patients long-term. I like being able to hear about how I have helped to improve their lives in some way.
Another recent change is that I got a dog, a Shih Tzu named Lulu. I’ve been a mother and responsible for three kids, but this is different. She’s good company. I love taking her for long walks; there’s something very therapeutic about that. I didn’t grow up with a pet, so this is all new for me—I’m really enjoying it.
Before Surgery:
Do any cases in particular stand out for you?
I also did a labiaplasty on a patient recently who had a lot of extra tissue in that area. She was so self-conscious about the area that she never wore leggings. It also limited her activities. When I called her day one post-op she said to me, “You’ve totally changed my life. I can’t believe I didn’t do this sooner!”
• Find a board certified plastic surgeon.
Photography by VITAL AGIBALOW for HENSEL
There have been a lot of wonderful cases over the years. Recently I performed a breast reduction on a college student. She had always been so self-conscious about being able to wear anything, and the procedure was life-changing for her. She no longer felt top-heavy, or as if people were always staring at her chest.
• Ensure the surgeon you choose has experience with the procedure you’re having done. • Ask to review their before and after photos. • Make sure your aesthetic vision aligns with theirs.
PremingerMD B. Aviva Preminger, MD @DrPreminger
109
BREASTS
ENHANCE, LIFT AND SHAPE RESTORE FULLNESS
AFTER
AFTER
BEFORE
BEFORE
INCREASE YOUR SIZE
BREAST AUGMENTATION By Dr. Aviva Preminger
BREAST REDUCTION & LIFT By Dr. Aviva Preminger
“Enhancing your breasts can provide balance to your figure and greatly boost your self-confidence.” - Dr. Preminger Do you think your breasts are…Too small? Too large? Asymmetric? Do your breasts droop? Have you lost fullness? Some women have never been happy with the appearance of their breasts, while others have experienced significant changes over time. Whatever your concern, there is a solution. If you want to increase breast size and fullness, a breast augmentation may be the procedure for you. Three dimensional imaging can even help you visualize your result and find the breast size you desire. Some women have enough volume, but it’s all sitting in the lower part of the breasts causing sagging and drooping. This is particularly common after pregnancy, breastfeeding, and weight loss. A breast lift may be the key to restoring fullness in all the right places. Breasts that are too large, however, can cause back and shoulder pain and interfere with exercise and weight loss. If that’s your issue, a breast reduction may be the solution. At your consultation, we will discover what you like and dislike about your breasts and create a customized surgical plan that will address all of your breast concerns, leaving you looking and feeling your best - a more confident, beautiful you!
FIND YOUR IDEAL SHAPE
Call for your Personal Consultation
212.706.1900
Board Certified Plastic Surgeon
B. Aviva Preminger, M.D., F.A.C.S. 969 Park Avenue, #1E New York, New York 10028
ELIMINATE SAGGING
mind & body | sleep
I
f you think sleep is overrated, you’re wrong! We all need sleep to be our best selves and recover from the day. After all, we’re constantly rushing around and getting less and less sleep. When was the last time you slept 7-8 hours? If you have to thinking about that answer, it may be time for a change—or a snooze!
SNOOZE YOUR WAY to a
HEALTHIER
YOU By Alesha Lazan
According to the Centers for Disease Control, insufficient sleep can be linked to obesity, diabetes, stroke and more. It’s also been proven that even one sleepless night can affect you the next day. So, what can you do to improve your health and sleep? We connected with Susan M. Piergeorge, MS, RDN, LDN, registered dietician from Rainbow and Light Vitality, for some healthy body-healthy sleep cycle tips.
CHOOSE COMPLEX CARBS TO HELP RELEASE SEROTONIN.
“Serotonin is the happy hormone that helps us to relax and allow us to sleep,” she explains. Not only do complex carbohydrates help with sleep, they are also a great addition to your diet since they keep you full longer and contain a lot of fiber. Her favorites: Sweet potato, rice, beans, and winter squash.
DREAM OF PROTEIN.
Well, not quite, but adding about 3-4 ounces to your plate per meal will help you feel satisfied before hitting the sack. You can also add a little fat such as olive oil or avocado to help with the absorption of the protein and carbohydrates that’ll keep you fuller longer, which will aid in a restful night’s sleep.
STEER CLEAR OF CAFFEINE.
Caffeinating toward the end of the day could spike your cortisol levels, making it hard to fall—and stay—asleep. Wind down with some tea instead; chamomile or lavender are good choices.
Implement some of these tips into your daily routine and make a goal to sleep at least 6-7 hours per night. You will feel like a whole new person when you are refreshed and ready to take on the day!
ADDING SUPPLEMENTS?
HERE ARE TWO THAT CAN HELP YOU GET A BETTER SLEEP:
• Magnesium: Promotes relaxation and a sense of calm.
• Melatonin: While our bodies naturally produce this hormone, which helps control your sleep-wake cycles, the exposure to all the blue light in our technology and overstimulation can deplete your supply. CHECK OUT
SAY
NO TO THE
SCREEN Our phones and TVs emit lights that stimulate our brains, so if you tend toward screen time before you sleep, try to take a bath or read instead.
SUSAN’S BOOK, “BOOMER BE WELL! REBEL AGAINST AGING THROUGH FOOD, NUTRITION AND LIFESTYLE.”
Bessie is a work of heart At Northwell Health, we fix more hearts in New York than anyone else. And that dedication to hearts shines brightest through each unique person we treat, like Bessie Kramis. She received a lifesaving bypass surgery at Northwell’s Staten Island University Hospital— which earned the highest possible rating for heart bypass surgery.* We’re raising the standard of health care—because the world is simply more beautiful with people like Bessie in it.
Northwell.edu/BeautifulHearts
*Staten Island University Hospital received the highest rating (3-star) for coronary artery bypass graft (CABG) by the Society of Thoracic Surgeons.
mind & body | the whole you
The Gruppuso Family
Women and Newborn Center:
Elevating the Experience of Birth for New Generations of Staten Island Residents
S
taten Island University Hospital is proud of its long history of providing family-centered support and care to thousands of mothers and infants throughout Richmond County before, during, and after labor and delivery. Its staff includes obstetricians, midwives, pediatricians, neonatologists, and nurses, all dedicated to keeping babies and mothers healthy. The hospital’s rate of Cesarean section births is among the lowest in the nation and the families it serves benefit from the latest evidencebased insights in maternal and pediatric medicine across the Northwell Health network. While they are proud of their history, their leaders recognize that there is a need to update and improve upon its maternal and newborn facilities so that their clinical teams can do more of what they do best—deliver babies safely, respond to community needs, and make sure mother and baby have every chance to thrive. To this end, they are establishing the Gruppuso Family Women and Newborn Center at Staten Island University Hospital. Staten Island University Hospital’s current labor and delivery, maternity, Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU), and newborn nursery units were built in 1979, and are located on two separate floors of the Hospital’s North Campus, a considerable distance away from each other. This arrangement has disadvantages as compared to more modern designs.
A PHILANTHROPIC LEADERSHIP GIFT TO THE HOSPITAL WOULD BE I NSTRUMENTAL IN SUPPORT OF: • The integration of Maternity, Labor and Delivery, and the NICU on a single floor to keep the care experience seamless for mothers, babies, and families; • An expanded NICU that encompasses a state-of-theart, fully modernized space so more at-risk newborns can receive lifesaving care and families can bond with fragile infants in greater comfort and with more privacy • Private Labor and Delivery rooms with private bathrooms, which will replace double rooms, vastly improving patient and family comfort; and • Enhancements to establish a welcoming environment, filled with natural light, personal touches, and a separate street entrance, all of which will contribute to a warm and inviting atmosphere.
Generations of families have come to Staten Island University Hospital to have their babies. With philanthropic support to help realize the vision of the Gruppuso Family Women and Newborn Center, they can continue to provide the very best possible care to future generations.
TO DONATE, VISIT BELLAMAG.CO/DONATE. 115
mind & body | the whole you
The Mom Who Wants It All:
Resources to Help
Empower Yourself on This
Transformational
Journey
By Vanessa Coppes
“Just a mom.” I’ve heard that phrase many times, along with, “Well, you’re a mom—of course you can’t have it all.” And what is the definition of “all,” anyway? If it means that I want to pursue the dreams and passions I had pre-kids and also be there for my children, then yes…I want it all. What you can’t expect is to have it all at once. One thing I’ve learned is this: Motherhood is a part of who I am, not just what I am. My children come first, but sometimes we take that phrase way too literally and forget about ourselves. We put ourselves out there in a way that is not at all aligned with who we really are.
116
1.
To the New Mom:
Take a few minutes to comb/brush out your hair. Do it while you are making faces at your baby. You are a mom, but you are still a woman. Take five minutes to freshen yourself up. It can help you feel better instantly. Get dressed first. With all the rush of getting the kids ready, packing diaper bags, etc., it’s very easy to forget about yourself. Make time for yourself. Remember the hobbies you enjoyed before you had kids, and try making time for the activities that make you happy.
To the
Working Mom:
1. Just jump. Those ideas you have, those dreams—find a
2.
way to get them started. Your life is happening right now. You will never be too old to start pursuing your passions, and in that process, know that you are teaching your children some remarkable life lessons. They will thank you for it later in life.
3.
2.Tune out the naysayers. There will always be someone
4.
5. Get away. Take mini vacations or dates with your hubby that
will give you a chance to reenergize and come back fresh and ready to be a mom. No excuses! Get a babysitter, and relax when you get overwhelmed. When you take care of yourself, you are better able to take care of your family. Working mothers deal with different stressors. We see them, we know them, we are them. We know the struggles, yet we judge. We always judge.... The mom who has it all figured out. That mom who is late to the bus stop every day surely does not. What a hot mess. As a busy mother of two boys and a business owner, I seem to have this “it will get better” conversation often. My response changes (which means I curse more or less) depending on how well acquainted I am with the other person, but for the most part, it’s a broken record. I took a tremendous leap of faith a few years ago when I opened a business center for small business owners. It’s part of this wildly insane vision that hasn’t let me go, ever since I had my kids, because it was meant for working mothers like myself. And as if I wasn’t crazy enough, I bought this magazine. If you’ve ever been to my office in New Jersey, to an ETTWomen meeting, or even to the BELLA office in New York, seven times out of 10, my boys will be there. They have become an integral part of the work I do because it is out of integrity that I walk my talk. There are a lot of us out there. Some are just waiting for permission to come out in full swing. If you are reading this and didn’t think you could make this happen for yourself, know this: You totally can. Working mothers—whether corporate professionals, MLM reps, or full-blown entrepreneurs—all want to feel productive. They want to bring home some (or all) of the income, and more importantly, they work for the benefit of their emotional well-being. Again, “Mom” is simply just not all that we are. People who work tend to enjoy happier and healthier lives. Our physical and mental health is generally improved through working, and we recover from sickness quicker and are at less risk of long-term illness and incapacity. Wouldn’t you want that for yourself and every mother you know? Working mothers have an unmatched ability to be laser focused on getting the job done, regardless of screaming children in the background. I’ve seen it, and, of course, have done it.
who tells you that you can’t do what you know in your core you want to and can. Understand there will always be someone who thinks you’re nuts. Know that the crazy ones tend to be the happy ones. If you need visuals, I can share with you a laundry list of kickass women taking the world by storm who happen to be mothers, too.
3. Pick your battles. The more you resist, the harder it will be. If Jr. woke up with a fever today, you can reassess and tweak what your day will look like.
4.
Don’t take yourself out of the equation. Doing things for yourself doesn’t make you selfish. Working or starting a business is actually an act of self-love. Your children do not need a martyr; they need a mother. And when you don’t make time to pursue the things that light you up, you become resentful. That resentment manifests in bouts of anger toward your kids, which are really bouts of anger toward yourself. You matter, your dreams matter. Go out and make them happen.
5. It takes a village. Not just to raise a family, but to build
a business. Find your tribe of like-minded women. ETTWomen. com is a great place to start. You are not alone in this journey, and more and more, women like us are stepping up and out for each other.
6. Do not—and I repeat—DO
NOT be concerned about what other mothers think. Yes, it takes a village, and as supportive as other mothers can be, there will always be judgmental ones. Don’t even entertain comments like, “Her partner makes dinner? She has a cleaning lady? That must be nice.” Your reality is not her reality. Be concerned with what works best for you and your family and nothing more.
7. Enroll your children in your vision. I grew up going
to my father’s office, making copies, and delivering files from one of his colleagues to the next. Seeing him sitting in that big desk at his firm helped me aspire to want the same for myself. My mother always had a side baking gig. She catered, made cakes, and today owns several food trucks and her own restaurant. I watch and listen to my boys when they come into my office. They play boss and ask me to be their client. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t love that at such a young age, they already see themselves in the role of boss. They see it’s possible for them through me, just like I saw it for myself through my parents. Work-life balance may be your most elusive goal. And you have to remember that every aspect of your life affects every aspect of your life. With kids in the mix, resilience will become your A-game. Don’t get discouraged. Don’t give up on your dreams. John Locke said that, “A person recognizes him/herself as the same being throughout his/her life, in different times and places.” You are one person who just happens to manage little people as well as a business or job. 117
mind & body | innovations
A NEW WAY TO
A
HYDRATE THAT’S TAKING OVER
s a longtime fan of Liquid I.V., it THE NEXT CHAPTER comes as no surprise to me that When we spoke to Brandin about the the brand continues to make future of Liquid I.V., he spoke about waves in the wellness space. The transitioning it from a one product company quickly became a success with show into a 360-degree wellness its electrolyte drink mix that utilizes the enterprise. By Amanda Mactas science of Cellular Transport Technology (CTT) to deliver hydration to your bloodstream fast and more efficiently “Our whole mission is to help people live better lives everywhere. Obviously than water and sports drinks. hydration is our flagship—that’s where this whole thing started. You literally can’t go a day without drinking water. Hydration is just the epicenter of how HYDRATION MULTIPLIED our bodies function,” he explains. In layman’s terms, when you drink any type of fluid, you will lose water, along Their latest product, Liquid I.V. Energy Multiplier, is an energy blend that with other nutrients, as they pass through your digestive system. Liquid I.V. uses matcha, giving you the same amount of natural caffeine as a cup of uses a specific ratio of sodium, glucose, and potassium that coffee, but with more of it in your bloodstream, you won’t have allows for water and other ingredients to get delivered to the CELEBS WHO to go back for cup after cup. “It’s a cleaner way to have energy,” bloodstream earlier on in the digestive system. LOVE LIQUID I.V. says Brandin. Plus, you won’t suffer from the dreaded coffee crash. Looking to the World Health Organization’s guidelines Steve Aoki for oral rehydration Solutions, founder Brandin Cohen GIVING BACK worked to create a formula that could benefit active, healthy Kendall Jenner As part of Liquid I.V.’s mission statement, they donate one lifestyles. The final product, Liquid I.V., allows you to Gary Vaynerchuk serving of Liquid I.V. to someone in need around the world for receive up to triple the hydration, turning one glass of water every sale. So far, they have donated over 1.5 million servings Justin Beiber effectively into three. to places like Haiti, Puerto Rico, and Uganda. Kevin Hart SLEEP MORE SOUNDLY They are also working on creating a foundation that can help Maria Shriver With the advent of CTT comes endless possibilities. with more than just product donations. “The main part of the Another of the company’s successful products, Liquid I.V. mission will continue to be donating and Sleep, utilizes the technology to deliver a natural sleep blend hydration, but on top of that, we want to of melatonin, L-theanine, and valerian root more efficiently. The result: You bring education to people who are less fortunate,” says fall asleep faster and wake up without any residual grogginess. Brandin. “One of my dreams is to build a school in a village we visited in Nepal.” This mission is something “Our whole differentiator is just delivering those nutrients into your the brand will continue to focus and work on in 2020. bloodstream more efficiently, meaning you get more of a payload—and “WE HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO MAKE faster,” Brandin explains. “We did that with our sleep product, and all of PRODUCTS THAT JUST HELP PEOPLE IN ALL the subjects got three times as much of the functional ingredient into their FACETS OF THEIR LIFE.” bloodstream.” -BRANDIN COHEN
THE WORLD
up close & personal THE PHOTOGRAPHER BEHIND THE LENS:
W
Vital AGIBALOW BY BRADY GOODMAN-WILLIAMS
hen we imagine editorial and celebrity photo shoots, we think of high intensity, glamour, and many moving pieces. Makeup artists, hair stylists, and fashion stylists run about with urgency, all under the auspice of a demanding photographer. However, after seeing one special photographer on set, working alongside the likes of Nigel Barker, Carol Alt, Irina Pantaeva, and Iris Apfel, I can attest that Vital Agibalow truly breaks the mold.
Why does your background in original film matter?
Well, it builds credibility. It makes me more professional than any newbie these days who starts with a digital camera and doesn't know what it means to shoot slides. You have to be much more accurate when doing so.
That’s fascinating; I never thought of that. So, I know you love portraits— why is that your favorite style?
I love working with people and seeing their reactions when they see themselves from different angles—it is priceless! But I do also work with fashion designers, which is a whole different world!
As he worked the camera with quick bursts of intensity, Vital never wiped the professional yet inviting halfsmile-half-smirk from his face—and the effects were evident. Most of us cower in the face of fame, but Vital’s lighthearted and sensitive demeanor allowed his subjects to open up in ways I had never previously seen.
Who was the most challenging designer to shoot?
Probably shooting Karl Lagerfeld’s portraits. Our time in the studio was limited to only 30 minutes, which is a photographer’s worst nightmare! But the results were so good. He really liked the images, which is huge, since he’s a photographer himself. Karl’s portrait was published in BELLA Magazine and many others, so the hard work paid off.
The result: Portraits of each subject’s inner being—comfortable, raw, and vulnerable. I absolutely had to sit down with Vital to try and understand the masterful mind behind this photographer’s prowess.
Do you have any recommendations for others interested in pursuing a career like yours?
Tell me a little bit about yourself: Where are you from? How did you become a photographer?
I’m New York-based, but my roots are in Sweden, Russia, and Ukraine. When I was 7, my dad gave me my first camera—a Leica—as a birthday present. I fell in love with it. I started taking portraits of the other kids in my neighborhood. There’s something about portrait photography that has clearly inspired me since an early age. By the age of 20, I started working with local modeling agencies, and I opened my own business by the time I was 21.
That’s incredible that you started so young. How has your photography changed since then?
Those were the film days. As a photographer, you couldn't afford to make a mistake back then. Now everyone shoots digital, so you can see the shot on display, which makes it all so much easier. But I'm proud to say I started as an original film photographer. VITALphoto
Do it only if you really enjoy it. Don’t do it for the money, but for the art. You’d be shocked how much money you can make when you prioritize the art first.
That’s great advice. So, what new projects are you working on right now? Where can we see your work?
Most recently, I worked with legendary supermodel Carol Alt for her new show on FNL Network, "Carol Alt’s Living Room." But there are some other interesting side projects, too! Lately I’ve been working with beauty and fashion bloggers like Kate Romanoff.
You have a brand partnership with HENSEL, right? Tell me a little about that. HENSEL is a German brand that produces professional lights for photographers. I've been the brand ambassador for this company since 2008. I'm using their lights on each and every shoot, and I'm proud to promote them in my studio and through my work.
VitalPhotoNYC
Always Connecting
Now Available On
How I Built My Bu s to Success Navigated the Sign
It’s been a tum ultuous journe y for Diane Tur navigated a tou ton, she gh childhood ma rked by her par divorce and he ents’ bitter r dad’s early and tragic death. The of seven kids, grew up painfu oldest lly shy, overweig relentlessly bu ht, and llied—until her dad enlisted he his business tra r to help with nsactions and taught her to ne the time she got gotiate. By through colleg e, Diane had bar car dealers, sto gained with re owners, police men, and clients their homes. She selling was the only wo man in her rea business classe l estate s in college, ear ned her real est age 19 and lau dime to her nam ate license at nched her career e. Over the nex after graduation t few decades, only Tupperware without a Diane went fro parties to one m standing-room of the top seller from appearing s of real estate on NBC’s “Today in New Jersey, Show” as the gue stages around the country wit st weather girl h motivational to sharing Zig Ziglar and Tom spe akers Hopkins in front of people. Diane of thousands fac sabotage as a fem ed open hostility and even ale entrepreneu her to fight the r, inspiring gender issue by deploying som pretty innovative e ideas about sel ling, branding and service. It’s a story she’s sha red in bits and pieces over the years. So why pu t it all in a book? Because she got a SIGN.
Diane Turton
Diane Turton
Diane Turton
Diane Turton
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“Sign Washed Away in Hurricane Sandy Lands on Bea ch in France” - New York Times
Always Connecting
Always Connecting
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Diane Turton’s Book
Real Estate Powerhouse & Author Diane Turton opens up about her life, her real estate business, how she’s built her personal and professional relationships and the secret to a lifetime of success. Diane is the President/Founder of one of the top real estate brokerages in New Jersey and a nationally known speaker on entrepreneurship.
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http://bit.ly/DianeTurtonBook
Al Co
How Navig
BELLA
TRAVEL NEW ORLEANS ∙ NEW PLACES TO REINVENT YOURSELF
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travel | spotlight
NOLA
Lens Through My
M
ardi Gras, gumbo, Beignets, crayfish, the French Quarter… that would sum up a visit to New Orleans, right? Not quite.
By Vanessa Coppes
I had the amazing opportunity to travel to NOLA in October of 2019. This trip was mixed with work and play. I got to stroll down the French Quarter, do some shopping, eat like the locals, and rest like a queen. I even strolled down the famous Magazine Street, a perfect photo opp with the first issue of BELLA under my direction. The biggest takeaway for me personally was how familiar the architecture was to that of my homeland, the Dominican Republic. I wasn’t prepared for how emotional this trip would turn out to be for me, and I was so happy I could share my first experience in New Orleans with a few BELLA team members and now, with you…
STAY
International House Hotel. Classical, quirky, and elegant—that’s how the
International House Hotel could best be described. Each hotel room, suite, and penthouse is designed to uplift the human spirit. And that it did. I had the opportunity to speak to the hotel owner, Sean Cummings. He walked me through the hotel’s history, inspiration for the décor, and explained the
“Looters.” This is an exhibition in which contemporary art and design practices are deployed to critically examine images of global exchange and imperial relations in the late-Atlantic period—the late-17th century through circa 1900. The exhibition draws on archival images in European maps, prints, drawings, and photographs depicting West African architecture from the Kingdoms of Ouidah, Dahomey, and Benin (across the present-day Republic of Benin and Nigeria). International House is a boutique hotel with a clear joyful tribute to what New Orleans is all about today—an ensemble of historic architecture, colorful characters, cheerful culture, signature food and local music. IhHotel.com The Chimes Bed and Breakfast. Jill Abbyad and her
husband Charles came to New Orleans separately. They both worked in corporate America and when they met, they fell in love and bought a house that has since become the unique property now called The Chimes. Jill and I spoke awhile. I learned that The Chimes is stamped into the fiber of the Uptown/Garden District neighborhood, an area that embodies the spirit of romance, history, architecture, and discovery. We also spoke about the challenges many New Orleans’ B&Bs are facing due to the AirBnB.com craze. The reality is that you can’t replace human connection with the click of a mouse or the speed of the Internet. This visit and my talk with Jill reminded me of the things that really stand out when traveling anywhere in the world. You’ll remember the food, the bed you slept in, and most of all the conversations you had. The charm of speaking to Jill, listening to her story and her passion for offering her guests one of the quaintest places to vacation in will stay with me forever. You can choose among five enchanting guest rooms, each with a private entrance in an open courtyard, and a patio garden with outdoor seating. ChimesNewOrleans.com
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travel | spotlight
Terrell House. Described by guests as “an oasis in the heart of historic New
Orleans,� the Terrell House achieves a fabulous balance of elegance and comfort. The main house features porches, galleries, and balconies framed in cast iron and a brick New Orleans courtyard. You will also find several fountains and lush vegetation within the estate. Many of the original architectural elements remain in the house, which is why guests are able to relax in the courtyard as well as enjoy use of the beautifully appointed double parlors and den. After a long day of exploring New Orleans, the team and I found no better place to refuge than at Terrell House. TerrellHouse.com
GET YOUR GLAM ON
Mickey Nolan Salon. We met Mickey Nolan and his amazing team nestled among some of the finest boutiques and buildings in the French Quarter. We enjoyed coffee and fabulous conversation within the comfortable, charming salon. We were pampered and treated to a memorable glam experience. MickeyNolanSalon.com
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CONNECT
My Ugly Truth Panel Discussion.
Jillian Coburn’s memoir, “My Ugly Truth: Life Beyond Abuse,” sheds light on surviving addiction, and sexual, psychological, and financial abuse and domestic violence as a mother rooted in faith. To commemorate Domestic Violence Awareness Month this past October, Jillian created a panel of experts in the field of domestic violence to raise awareness within the community. I was honored to be invited as a guest panelist and be a part of this powerful conversation in Jillian’s childhood stomping grounds. The conversation was empowering and hopeful and connected all of those in attendance to this important cause. JillianCoburn.com
DO GOOD
Villalobos Rescue Center. This rescue, rehabilitation, and
placement facility serves abused and abandoned pit bulls (and other breeds). For years I have been fascinated by the show “Pit Bulls and Parolees” on Animal Planet. Tia, the organization’s founder, is the reason I adopted my own pit bull Blue, six years ago. We were treated to a private tour of the facility and got to interact with a few of the dogs there. These dogs are so incredible and the work VRC does is so important. VRCPitbull.com
BE INSPIRED
George Rodrigue Gallery. I had seen it somewhere and
had heard of the Blue Dog. It’s a completely different thing to visit the gallery of the artist and have his son walk you through all its glorious history complete with the artist’s depictions of the Louisiana landscape, Cajun culture, and of course, his Blue Dog series. It was in 1989 when George Rodrigue opened his first gallery in New Orleans. In 2010, he built his dream space in one of the most historic buildings in the French Quarter. While the gallery continually rotates selections from the artist’s career, this is undoubtedly the best space in the world to exclusively view Rodrigue’s original paintings. You can also see his signed Blue Dog prints and Estate-stamped Blue Dog prints. What a cultural treat—thank you, Jaques! GeorgeRodrigue.com
DRINK
Royal Brewery. This brewery’s story begins in the mid-
1990s when Raymond Pumilia was working from his first art studio in the New Orleans Central Business District. He began brewing on a large kitchen stove in the studio after a friend gave him a brewing kit. Raymond continued to brew on and off as a hobby and set upon achieving his goal of opening a craft brewery. Alongside his wife Mandy, they researched and wrote a business plan for their brewery. After completing the first draft, the Pumilias set out to identify the best location and funding opportunities for their dream. Royal Brewery’s build-out was completed in March 2017. It’s a combination of Raymond’s passion for the science behind brewing craft beer with his family’s love for the art of cooking and entertaining. RoyalBreweryNola.com
travel | adventures
NEW PLACES to
REINVENT YOURSELF Forget routine trips to the neighborhood spin class. Rejuvenate in the coming year by traveling to six of the best world-renowned spas, all located in luxe destinations.
SWISS BLISS
Switzerland—Le Spa Valmont, Geneva Start out at Le Spa Valmont at the Grand Hotel Kempinski Geneva, and breath freely amidst the fresh mountain air of Switzerland. Boasting the largest private indoor swimming pool in Geneva and a fitness center with state-of-the-art equipment managed by Olympian Cedric Grand, Le Spa is known for its lavish offerings. Experience the Signature massage or the Valmont hydration facial, “Source of Bisses.” Kempinski.com/en/geneva/grand-hotelgeneva/luxury-spa
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By Norah Lawlor
THE HOTEL ROOM
Wellness Suite at the Four Seasons Los Angeles at Beverly Hills Want to travel and maintain your health and wellness while on the road? Book one of the recently unveiled wellness suites at the Four Seasons Los Angeles at Beverly Hills. The suites have been holistically designed to offer a complete wellness experience, starting with the products used to clean the suite itself, through a state-of-the-art air purification system and dechlorinator in the shower, to the in-suite amenities from LATHER, welcome video by Deepak Chopra, and a circadian lighting system. Delight your taste buds with the all plant-based menu curated by leading vegan chef Matthew Kenney, and another menu approved by the Cleveland Clinic. The spa privileges will have you leaving the hotel with a measure of newfound wellness and some regret your stay cannot be extended longer. FourSeasons.com/LosAngeles/
JET-SET WELLNESS Monaco—Thermes Marins Monte-Carlo
Go to Jet-Set Monaco on the Cote D’Azur and set course for a water treatment at Les Thermes Marins. Try the La Prairie Platinum Ultimate Youth Treatment or a Seaweed Wrap to help rid the body of toxins, just in time for dinner at L’Hirondelle, whose menu combines health with gourmet flavors. Then enjoy an evening’s entertainment at Jimmy’z Monte-Carlo nightclub before re-booking your next appointment. MonteCarloSBM.com/en/wellness-sport-monaco/ thermes-marins-monte-carlo 127
travel | adventures
RENAISSANCE REJUVENATION
Villa Mangiacane, Florence, Tuscany, Italy For those looking to relax in the rolling hills of Tuscany, Villa Mangiacane is a striking 15th century property built by the Machiavelli Family and bearing the unmistakable hand of the Renaissance master, Michelangelo. Recently named as one of the top 30 hotels in Italy at the Condé Nast Traveler’s Readers’ Choice Awards, Villa Mangiacane is set within 600 acres of flourishing vineyards and olive groves, and offers 28 individually-designed rooms and suites. In-house guests have access to the estate’s private Nadushka Spa with its stunning marble interior and range of pools, fitness, and treatment facilities. A stay at Mangiacane offers an unrivaled Tuscan tranquility and pampering for the body, mind, and soul. Mangiacane.com/en/experience 128
THE FAST EXPERIENCE
Germany—Buchinger Wilhelmi, Uberlingen
Time to lose that excess weight? Head to Germany for a world-famous program that is more luxe than would appear. The Buchinger Wilhelmi program has been around for more than 100 years and aims to reset your digestion by first reducing and then gradually reintroducing nutrition to the body over a period of several days, combined with spa treatments, physical therapy, and beauty treatments. Buchinger-Wilhelmi.com/en/
GO RED USA Body & Soul Adventures in the Redwoods, CA
Join the Body & Soul Adventures Monterey Bay Adventure and spend a full week or weekend in a small group amidst the forest with a focus on exercise, health, and diet. Tie the experience back to your own goals and motivations, while practicing the Japanese art of “forest bathing.” BodySoulAdventures.com
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around town
PEOPLE, PLACES, PARTIES BELLA MAGAZINE HOSTS THE GRATITUDE ISSUE COVER PARTY
WITH SPECIAL GUEST SARA GORE, BENEFITTING STATEN ISLAND UNIVERSITY HOSPITAL GRUPUSSO FAMILY WOMEN AND NEWBORN CENTER Editor-in-Chief Vanessa Coppes celebrated the launch of BELLA Magazine’s Gratitude Issue on Tuesday, December 11th, at The Gregory Hotel in Midtown in New York City, hosted by Sara Gore of NBC’s “New York Live.” Guests sipped on Prosecco DOC, Vide Vodka, Elouan Wines, Ron Barcelo Rum, Moonshine Tea, and 1907water. Additional sponsors included Caravan Style Studio, The Gregory Hotel, and Culinary Classics Catering.
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BELLA RINGS IN THE NEW YEAR WITH ANDY COHEN AND FREIXENET! BELLA celebrated New Year’s Eve with Bravo’s Andy Cohen and Cava producer Freixenet at the swanky TAO Uptown. Guests sipped Freixenet cocktails and toasted with Andy following his live NYE coverage in Times Square. Cheers to 2020!
around town
PEOPLE, PLACES, PARTIES
BELLA TV AT
WAVE MAKERS BOSTON
WITH DUNE JEWELRY
X NICOLE MICHELLE BELLA traveled to Boston to hit the red carpet with Dune Jewelry founder Holly Daniels Christensen in celebration of the company’s new collaboration line with singer Nicole Michelle. Guests included legendary hip-hop artists Naughty by Nature, Ms. Massachusetts Katy O’Grady, country and R&B artist Louie Bello, Summer Issue BELLA cover star Camille Kostek, and singer Emily Rae.
BELLA TV AT THE 7TH ANNUAL BELLA was on the red carpet with Martino Cartier, Taylor Dayne, and Paula Abdul at the 7th Annual Wigs and Wishes Gala on Sunday, October 27th, at Lucien’s Manor in Berlin, NJ. This incredible cause provides wigs to those battling cancer and grants wishes to children who need it most.
WIGS AND WISHES
GALA
BELLA TV at the
HIGH LIGHTS
Event 2019
The first-annual High Lights Event took place on Monday, November 18th, at the Pines Manor in Edison, NJ. Beauty industry vendors and professionals included ETTWomen, Cheldin Barlatt of This Is It TV, Lauren Vena Makeup, Jennifer Capella of GlamLife Lounge, Dr. Smita Ohri of Forever Young Healthcare, Mike Karg, Haute Theory, Diamond Beauty Cosmetics, and Magnetify Your Lashes with Lisa and Kayla Metz, Tori Belle Cosmetics affiliates. Celebrity makeup artist, James Vincent, along with the founder of Hard Night Good Morning Skincare, D’Andra Simmons, were also in attendance. Sponsors included 1907 Water, VIDE Beverages, Mike’s Pizza, and Jersey Cookie Girl.
around town
PEOPLE, PLACES, PARTIES The Decoration & Design Building (DDB) hosted its Fall Market, DESIGN 2020, at the iconic headquarters of all things design in New York. The twoday market blended a retrospective glance at design by the decades and an examination of how the 2010s completely changed the industry, with a peek forward at what to expect in the next decade of design ©Kitty Dadi
Candice Bergen
Laurence Carr, Erika Heet, Norma Kamali, Adam Rolston
Rescue Dogs Rock NYC hosted their 2nd annual gala cochaired by Georgina Bloomberg and Lara Trump, which raised funds and awareness to help animals in need, NYC (L) Patrick McMullan, (R) ©Rob Rich/ SocietyAllure.com
Sean Young
Stacey Silverstein, Eric Trump, Lara Trump, Jackie O’Sullivan, Jesse Waters, Emma DiGiovine
Crown Prince Alexander and Crown Princess Katherine of Serbia hosted the Annual Benefit Luncheon 2019, Metropolitan Club, NYC ©Patrick McMullan
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Crown Prince Alexander of Serbia and Bishop Irinej of Eastern America for Serbian Orthodox Church
Suzan Kremer, Cheri Kaufman, Crown Princess Katherine of Serbia and Pamela Wright
Media, friends and family welcomed iconic suit maker Richard James of Richard James Savile Row to his first US store location in New York City, on 57th and Park Avenue
Event planner Larry Scott of Lawrence Scott Events produced the Global Lyme Alliance Fifth Annual New York City Gala, Cipriani 42nd Street NYC
©Anchor Communications
©Johnny Nunez
Yolanda Hadid, Larry Scott
Charles S. Cohen, Clo Cohen
Philanthropist and attorney Thomas J. Henry launched a new art and music experience “Austin Elevates.” The two-day event welcomed recording artists Kygo, Daddy Yankee, G-Eazy, and world renown street artist Alec Monopoly, Austin, TX ©Getty Images
Thomas J. Henry and Kygo DJ Quiz, Thomas J. Henry, and G-Eazy
Detlef Vormschlag and Maria Elena Paganini
Maria Elena Paganini, descendant of famed Italian violinist Niccolo Paganini, hosted a special VIP and media preview party for “Paganini Honors Paganini” at the Ascent Lounge in the Time Warner Center, NYC ©Patrick McMullan
Edmond Fokker van Crayestein, Sabrina-Vivian Hopcker, Elly Suh, Kevin Zhu and Florian Leonhard 135
BELLA's fab 5
Reinvent Your
Must-Do List
By Norah Lawlor
The new year is a perfect time to shake up your routine. From reworking your body through Pilates to redesigning your home, here are five refreshing ways to dynamically dive into 2020.
THE TRAINER: ANNA CLARK Here’s the way to stick to your get-in-shape resolution: Anna Clark, Master Trainer at NeXa Pilates. Boasting more than 16 years experience teaching Pilates, yoga, personal training, and dance, Anna’s Upper-West Side, NYC studio is the place to make it happen. There’s not only a diverse team of trainers, but also a group fitness studio and spa with a range of services, including an infrared sauna—all the rage! NexaPilates.com
THE HIDEAWAY: THE VALLEY ROCK INN & MOUNTAIN CLUB Located an hour from Manhattan, The Valley Rock Inn sits in the village of Sloatsburg at the foothills of the Ramapo Mountains, where it is surrounded by 70,000 acres of parkland, trails, and lakes in every direction from Harriman State Park and Sterling Forest. The property is comprised of 12 historic house and barn buildings that form a wall around an interior garden, in turn creating a protected oasis. There are also four renovated guesthouses consisting of 17 bedrooms and 16 baths, an organic market, and two restaurants that source organic produce from organic farm fields in the Hudson Valley. The Inn is also a fitness-focused property with facilities that include a 75-foot swimming pool, a 7,000-square-foot gym, and activities like guided hiking, biking, and kayaking. ValleyRockInn.com
THE GURU: GALE SITOMER OF GALE SITOMER DESIGN Why not rejuvenate the most important spaces in your life this coming year? Bring a fresh, new look into your home or office and boost your sense of well-being and productivity with Gale Sitomer. Her focus starts from the perspective of timeless design cues, aiming to balance subtle colors with the objective of improving comfort and functionality. Gale’s design aesthetic also harnesses space-planning with a focus on balancing architectural elements and lighting, which she says, are as integral to the process as choices of furniture, fabric, and color. GSitomerDesign.com
THE INDULGENCE: LE LIFT PARISIENNE AT THE RESCUE SPA For anyone in search of the ultimate luxury pampering treatment, Le Lift Parisienne, which utilizes Biologique Recherche products, is considered among NYC’s crème de la crème spas. Combining both the Le Lift and Le Remodeling experiences, Le Lift Parisienne leaves your face, neck, and chest more refined, plumped, and lifted than you could ever think possible. Its supreme exfoliating, repairing, and toning features produce some of the most intense, jaw-dropping results, and the 90-minute duration means you can sit back and thoroughly relax. RescueSpa.com 136
THE EVENT: THE 92ND ANNUAL ACADEMY AWARDS The 92nd Annual Academy Awards ceremony, presented by the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, will honor the best films of 2019 and take place at the Dolby Theatre in Hollywood, California. Mark your calendar for February 9, 2020, and plan to sit back, relax, and root for your favorite films of last year to bring home the Oscar. Oscars.org/Oscars
DISCOVER YOUR
NEXT GREAT READ AT BARNES & NOBLE
Shop the biggest books—from thrilling fiction and inspirational life stories to imaginative tales for young readers and more. There’s something for everyone at Barnes & Noble.
Find your local Barnes & Noble at BN.COM/storelocator