Imposter Syndrome –10 top tips to banish it for good!!

Have you ever felt unworthy of the position you’re in? Like someone is going to “find you out” and expose you as a fraud?

Around 75% of us experience imposter syndrome. When a new promotion began causing a client of mine called Claire daily stress, anxiety and feelings of panic, she knew it was time to seek support.

“I was feeling almost constantly panicky and like such a failure, I would recommend seeking support to anyone, thank you Cat” Claire Murray

Claire and I explored what the ‘root cause’ of her feelings could be, as well as working through these 10 top tips:

1. Feelings are not facts

Just because you might feel stupid at times it doesn’t mean you are. No one likes making mistakes, but the only difference between a person with ‘imposter syndrome’ and someone who doesn’t have it, is their thoughts. You could call yourself a ‘failure’ or you could think like Michael Jordan and say “I’ve failed over and over and over again and that is why I succeed”

2. Reframing is key.

‘Reframing’ means looking from more than one perspective. Claire would say “I can’t speak up in meetings, everyone is better than me” but another perspective is, so what! A person without imposter syndrome knows that no one is good at everything, we are all equal but different and Claire had simply found an area she could develop, not evidence that she was an imposter.

3. Banish shame by talking about it.

Feelings of shame keep us silent, and this makes things worse. The fact that most of us feel like an imposter sometimes makes us human, and when we share how we feel the load is lightened and becomes much more easily managed

4. Recognise your strengths

Claire is a natural thinker and introvert, but she wasn’t acknowledging these as strengths. She learnt to celebrate her qualities and also find the right people to help her develop.

Learn to LET IN kind words by simply saying “thank you” and LET GO of the negative inner voice by saying to yourself “I don’t think like that anymore”.

10. Feel the fear and do it anyway.

5.

Stop strengths going into ‘overdrive’.

Claire is naturally a detail-orientated person, but in overdrive, this is perfectionism, which can be damaging. Through increased self-awareness, Claire was able to find the right balance so that she didn’t ‘get in her own way’.6. Write your own rules.

If you’ve been working under rules such as “I should always know the answer” or “I mustn’t rely on others” then it’s time for an update! We explored where these unconscious limiting beliefs had come from in Claire’s past and she changed them to be supportive mantras that she actually wanted and believed!

7. Choose your own story

Become aware of the conversation going on in your head when you’re in a situation that triggers your imposter feelings. You might be thinking “everyone else is brilliant, they’re going to find me out” but a better and more helpful story would be “I’m bound to find it hard at the beginning, I’m going to learn so much!”

8. Visualise success

Do what professional athletes do and visualise what you want so that your mind has no choice but to move towards it, e.g. visualise speaking confidently and being successful and it will become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

9.

Celebrate your wins

How many times has someone complimented you and you’ve dismissed it with words such as “don’t be silly it was nothing”. When we do this we are implying the other person is such a total idiot that they would pay us a compliment or thank us!

Our body doesn’t know the difference between fear and excitement. When you feel ‘butterflies’ or ‘stress’ it is just your body getting ready. Claire’s favourite mantra, which transformed her imposter syndrome was to say, “these butterflies mean I’m excited and full of anticipation to show what I can do”, she then went out and did exactly that, and so can you!

If you would like a no-obligation chat if you have any questions please get in touch.