Changes, My Favorite Places

was missing. I was not happy. Before, I was depleted. I was mixed up in awkward stages of physical change, fragile friendships, and ultimate self-destruction. Basically, throughout most of my schooling, I was a perfectionist. I could not mentally handle any grade lower than a 97, and when this objective was challenged, many tears and panic attacks resulted. This year, I have dedicated specific days of the week to spend time with my sister, my dog, and the rest of my family. I have finally found the perfect balance between work and fun, and better yet - I am enjoying working. Up until this year, I dreaded waking up in the morning. Now, I cannot wait for the weekend to be over so that I can start the week. I have a new group of friends this year. When I spend time with them, we talk about sports, video games, or even philosophy. I forget about any work or obligations that I have, and I live in the moment. So what I am trying to convey is, my friends also make me happy. My life is both complete and incomplete in different ways, but now, I am enjoying every second of my day. I have, in fact, had quite a few family and personal complications, but by having the sources of my happiness readily available, I am able to overshadow the negativity with a sort of light of positivity. I will forever be grateful to my family, my teammates, my Chelsea boys, Google Docs - the feeling that surges through me every time I approach a blank document is priceless - and probably most recently important, my friends. Online personality quizzes have gone from classifying me as an INFJ-T introvert to an ENFJ-A extrovert in the span of three years. I think that’s crazy. The meaning of my life, I must clarify, is not the universal meaning of life. I believe that happiness is the key to living, but perhaps it is not for other people. My philosophical friend asked me if committing murders makes someone happy, then should they pursue their desires to achieve their perception of the meaning of life? Obviously no, so he proved that the meaning of life is all up to the eye of the beholder. Then should I really overthink this whole turn-of-the-decade business? I have not accomplished much in life so far, but in the end, does it really matter? If my passions are enough to allow me to change the world, then I will pursue the alteration of the universe, but until then, what should I do? I suppose I should continue to all-around improve myself, and most importantly, remain happy. 2020 may be the decade in which A LOT of things happen. Most people tell me that these years will be the best time of my life. It’s such an exciting decade, and when I look back at this passage in ten years, I know I’ll laugh. I wonder what will happen. But I think my number one New Year’s Resolution is to just be happy, and everything else will follow.