They gave us all they had to give, gifts both great and small, but most of all they gave us love, the greatest gift of all.
The staff at St John’s Hospice would like to offer their support to you at this difficult time. The loss of someone you love is never easy and although grief is a normal reaction, it can result in very difficult emotions and feelings, and is a very individual experience.
The Hospice Family Support Team with consent will contact you initially by letter in approximately 6 weeks. This will be to inform you of our bereavement support and other services available that may be of interest to you.
However, before then there are many decisions to make and things to organise. We have produced this booklet to try and help with these. It is in two sections, the first is around practical matters, and the second around your feelings and emotions. It includes the contact information of other organisations that may be able to support you as well, if you feel that is needed.
SECTION ONE
1. What happens immediately after your loved one has died?
In the hospice inpatient ward. We will ask you which funeral director you will be using and whether your loved one wanted to be buried or cremated. We will then be able to prepare the necessary documentation for you which includes the certificate of cause of death, and a cremation certificate, if required. This paperwork can usually be collected from the hospice the following working day; the staff will book an appointment with you when the certificate has been completed.
At home. Please contact either the District Nursing Service or our Hospice at Home service straight away to verify your loved one’s death (this is different to certifying the death). Please do not phone the ambulance service because if your loved one’s death is not verified they will have to involve other emergency services, which can be very stressful. Once your loved one’s death has been verified you can then contact the funeral director of your choice to take over their care.
2. The Role of the Medical Examiner Service
The Medical Examiner service is a national system for reviewing all deaths. The Medical Examiner is a senior doctor, who is independent and not involved in the patient’s care. With the assistance of the Medical Examiner Officers, they will review all deaths in order to establish a cause of death prior to the issuing of the Medical Certificate of Cause of Death (MCCD).
After your loved one has died, they will ring you. During this call the Medical Examiner Officer will give you the opportunity to discuss the care and treatment your loved one has received. This is a chance for you to ask questions you may have regarding any aspect of their care leading up to their death, and express any concerns you may have.
The service does endeavour to provide you with the MCCD as soon as possible, however sometimes this can take a little longer due to the availability of the doctor responsible and in some cases the Medical Examiner or treating doctor may need to speak to the coroner.
For deaths occurring in the Hospice
Once the MCCD is issued and sent to your local Register Office the Hospice will contact you and at this point you will be advised to make an appointment with the Registrars online or by phone. Please see page 2 onwards.
What to do next – for deaths occurring at home or a care home
When an expected death occurs at home or care home, the GP surgery that has been treating your loved one should be contacted, followed by a Funeral Director of your choice (they are available 24 hours a day every day of the year) and your faith leader (if required). It would be helpful to indicate whether arrangements are to be for cremation or burial.
The GP practice will contact you when a Medical Certificate of Cause of Death is ready and with your local Register Office. At this point you will be advised to make an appointment with the Registrars online or by phone.
3. Finding a funeral director.
It is best to choose a funeral director who is a member of one of the following:
• National Association of Funeral Directors: www.nafd.org.uk
• National Federation of Funeral Directors (which holds a directory of funeral directors online) at: www.funeraldirectorsregister.com
• The Society of Allied and Independent Funeral Directors: www.saif.org.uk
These organisations have codes of professional practice and must give you their prices when you contact them.
4. Registering the death.
The death must be registered within five days with the Registrar of Births, Marriages and Deaths for the area where the death occurred. This must be carried out by either a relative, someone who was present at the death, the person arranging the funeral, or an executor of the will.
Please ring first to make an appointment: Tel: 0300 123 6705
OR: you can book an appointment online:
• www.lancashire.gov.uk/births-marriages-and-deaths (for deaths in Lancashire)
• www.cumberland.gov.uk/births-deaths-marriages-andceremonies (for deaths in Cumberland)
• www.westmorlandandfurness.gov.uk/births-deathsmarriages-and-ceremonies (for deaths in Westmorland and Furness)
• www.northyorks.gov.uk/births-deaths-marriages (for deaths in Yorkshire)
If the death has not occurred in Lancashire, Cumbria or Yorkshire you can still register it at the local Registrar’s Office:
• Lancaster:
Georgian House, 4 Queen Street, Lancaster, LA1 1R
Tel: 0300 123 6705
Barrow in Furness
Kendal
Morecambe Town Hall
Settle
You will need the following with you:
• Certificate of Cause of Death
Tel: 0300 303 2472
Tel: 0300 373 3300
Tel: 01524 582000
Tel: 01609 780780
• If available, your loved one’s Birth Certificate, Marriage/Civil Partnership Certificate and their NHS Number/Medical Card.
You will be asked for the following details:
• Full name, home address, date & place of birth;
• Last occupation, date & place of death;
• Date of birth of surviving partner;
• Whether the person was receiving a State Pension.
If the deceased is a woman, you will also need:
• Her maiden name, her husband’s name & last occupation.
The Registrar will then give you:
1. A Death Certificate. This is a certified copy of the entry in the Deaths Register. You will need this as evidence for the Will and when sorting out any financial affairs. It is wise to purchase several copies as photocopies cannot be used for legal purposes. Each copy of the certificate will cost £11 so be aware of this when asking.
2. Certificate for Burial or Cremation. This is a green form which you must give to your funeral director to enable them to legally care for your loved one. This form is free of charge.
3. Certificate of Registration of Death (otherwise known as Form BD8). You will need this to send to the Department of Work & Pensions, free of charge.
4. The Registrar may also offer the “Tell us Once” service, which will inform a range of organisations about the death to save you doing so yourself. When you make an appointment to register the death at the local Registrar Office, the “Tell Us Once” service will be explained to you. If you choose to take part, the Registrar will set up your loved one’s details on a national database. A reference number will be given to you. Then, giving this reference number, you can use the “Tell Us Once” service in three ways:
Online: Go to the online “Tell Us Once” service online. Visit www.gov.uk/tellusonce
Telephone: Call the dedicated Department for Work and Pensions helpline on 0800 085 7308
In person: You can talk to an advisor at customer service centres in Lancaster and Morecambe. Call 01524 582000 or email customerservices@lancaster.gov.uk
5. Informing other companies.
You will need to contact various companies to let them know your loved one has died. Some of these may be contacted through the “Tell us Once” service, but some won’t. You may well need to supply a copy of the death certificate, which will need to be an original. The organisations might include your loved one’s:
• GP or any hospital clinics they attended
• Equipment suppliers if there is anything which was loaned out. The District Nurses will be able to arrange this for you, if they ordered the equipment
• Dentist
• Employer if they were still working, including any trade unions and voluntary work
• Local Authority for council tax, any social services, disabled parking permit
• Government agencies e.g. HM Revenue & Customs, Job Centre Plus or Department of Work & Pensions and the electoral services
• Utilities: gas, electricity, water, telephone, mobile phone, internet providers, TV licence
• Finance: credit cards, building societies, insurance
• Banking: most banks now have a team dedicated to help you through this time. You may find it helpful to have the information about your loved one to hand such as their full name, address, date and place of birth, date and place of death, their national insurance number and their NHS number.
• Car: insurance – if you are insured to drive in the person’s name, check with the insurer that you are still covered.
• DVLA regarding their driving licence and any road tax which may be paid back
• Passport office: to cancel the passport and return it if requested tel: 0300 222 0000 or click on www.gov.uk, and search for Passport Office
• Library, clubs and associations
To stop unwanted mail continuing, you can contact one of the following:
• The Bereavement Register, either by phone on 0800 082 1230 (there is also a 24 hour automated registration service available) or online at: www.thebereavementregister.org.uk Or email: help@thebereavementregister.org.uk
• Deceased Preference Service
Tel: 0800 068 4433 during office hours
Web: www.deceasedpreferenceservice.co.uk
• Mailing Preference Service
Web: www.mpsonline.org.uk
6. Organising the funeral: your options.
A funeral service can be held in any suitable venue, not just a church or crematorium. The service, or ceremony, does not need to be religious - it can include whatever you, and your loved one, wants.
Funeral Directors
There is no time limit to have the funeral by. This can be varied to suit your needs: however, it is usually around two to three weeks.
You may also be able to make arrangements through your funeral director, and they can help you plan this and let you know what your choices are. It is perfectly acceptable to contact the funeral directors before your loved one has died, or any time afterwards. They will also transport your loved one from the place of death to their own premises, and then to the funeral, burial or cremation, depending on what has been decided. The funeral director can provide a hearse for transport of your loved one, and arrange “disbursement” fees which are fees for cremation, burial, church, and any other funeral costs. You will also be able to view your loved one in their Chapel of Rest and choose what clothes they wear. Additional options from a funeral director may include embalming, help with invitations, order of service, flowers, and collecting funeral donations.
Some local councils run their own funeral services, for example for non-religious burials. The British Humanist Association can also help with non-religious funerals. Visit humanists.uk for more details.
You can also contact the Cemeteries and Crematorium Department of your local council if you would like to arrange the funeral yourself.
There is also a lot of information online about alternatives to traditional funerals, if you would prefer to explore this. More information on planning a funeral can be found at www.citizensadvice.org.uk or from the Natural Death Centre: www.naturaldeath.org.uk or telephone 01962 712690.
Further information on funerals.
Information about cemeteries around Lancaster
Tel: 01524 582635 or you can find the information on the council website at www.lancaster.gov.uk
Lancaster & Morecambe Crematorium
Tel: 01524 848394
South Lakeland Crematorium
Beetham Hall, Milnthrope, Cumbria, LA7 7BQ
Tel: 015395 65363
Lancaster City Council Bereavement Guide
Tel: 01524 582635 or visit www.lancaster.gov.uk and search for “bereavement guide”
What to do after a death – free booklet from Job Centre Plus or www.gov.uk/after-a-death
Other sources of information
General information about funerals and what to do with the ashes, and suggestions for readings etc, go to: www.funeralinspirations.co.uk www.goodfuneralguide.co.uk
www.funeralguide.co.uk (free online support for the bereaved)
Paying for the funeral.
Funerals can be costly, but funeral directors understand people’s different circumstances and will suggest affordable choices. For a “fair funeral” price go to www.quakersocialaction.org.uk and search the map. These are funeral directors who have signed a pledge to deliver the best possible price for funerals.
If you can’t afford a funeral:
The local council can arrange a public health funeral if:
• There isn’t enough money in the estate to pay for it.
• There are no relatives or friends available to arrange the funeral.
This is usually a burial. You can attend the funeral but the local authority will decide the time and date.
There is normally a short service, but extras such as flowers, cars or notices in the local newspaper are not included.
If you are in receipt of certain benefits, you can also apply for funeral payment from the government to help you pay for the funeral.
Applying for Funeral Payment.
Funeral Payment is a government scheme for people on a low income who are receiving certain benefits, to help them pay for a funeral.
It won’t cover the whole funeral bill. As such, depending on where you live, you might have to pay up to a third of the cost of a simple funeral.
If you get Funeral Payment, you’ll usually have to pay the government back from any money you get from the person’s estate, such as their savings.
If the person’s estate consisted only of personal belongings and a home that they shared with their surviving spouse or civil partner, the government normally won’t claim back this payment.
How do I claim?
You have three months from the date of the funeral to make a claim.
Visit www.gov.uk/funeral-payments for more information on eligibility and how to apply claim this benefit.
Bereavement benefits.
You may be entitled to certain bereavement benefits. These can be obtained through the form BD8 you will have been given by the registrar on the registration of death. You may be eligible for a contribution from the Social Fund towards the cost of a basic funeral. To find out more you can contact the Bereavement Service of the Department of Work and Pensions on 0800 731 0469 or visit www.gov.uk/bereavement-support-payment
7. Sorting out the will.
Ideally, there will have been a Will made and you will know where it is. Often a copy is left with a solicitor or bank, and you should contact them for it. There will be an ‘Executor’ to deal with the ‘estate’ (money, belongings, property). If the person did not name an executor, the court will appoint someone (usually someone named in the Will) to administer the Will.
If a person dies without making a Will, this is called ‘intestate’, and you or a solicitor will need to follow certain procedures. More information is available online at www.gov.uk/applying-for-probate Probate.
If you are an executor and entitled to deal with someone’s estate, you will have to apply for legal permission to do so from the Probate Registry (called probate). This may also involve sorting out any Inheritance Tax due: www.gov.uk/inheritance-tax
Contact: Probate & Inheritance Tax helpline
Tel: 0300 123 1072
www.gov.uk/applying-for-probate
You may choose to deal with probate yourself if the estate is relatively straightforward, or you can use a solicitor to help you. Should you find it helpful to take advice from a solicitor, you can usually have a short consultation after which you can then decide if you will need further help.
The whole process of going through probate will take several weeks. The probate office for the Lancaster area is in Liverpool (0151 236 8264) and for Cumbria is in Carlisle (01228 521 751).
To complete probate an interview is needed. These interviews are run regularly and once completed you will then be given a ‘Grant of Representation’ form to give to financial and other organisations, in order to release the estate.
8. Sorting out a person’s possessions.
This can be a difficult thing to do, and only you will know when the time is right. If it would be helpful, our hospice shops are happy to take good quality clothing, furniture and other items. Please phone our St Johns Hospice warehouse at Edenvale Crescent, Lancaster on 01524 64733 or visit www.sjhospice.org.uk/furniture-collection online to arrange furniture collection or to drop off any other donations. Donations can also be dropped off at any of our shops and at the hospice. See www.sjhospice.org.uk/ourshops for your nearest location.
9. Deleting social media.
If your loved one had social media pages, such as Facebook or Instagram, or even email bill reminders, you may need some help in finding out how to delete these. Unfortunately some electronic profiles cannot be deleted. However by contacting the relevant customer service departments online, you may be able to “memorialise” their profile instead. Talk with family members about which social media sites your loved one used, and contact the relevant help section online.
