Emma Ferer, “Ambitions”

I want to be the best. I want to prove that no matter how many insults you throw in my way I can rise above. So finally I can get shown some love. That is the dream. But it is not in sight and slowly it’s fading along with my passion with my fight. Fright is all that’s insight. I want to be the greatest yes but everyday is a test. Do I want it? Can I even do it? The answer has to be yes. Good not great average not above. These themes follow me everyday. Fall, crash, bang who is holding me back? I want someone to blame to shame. Because it’s not me, no how could it be? Me with the dream the goals. With the 20 pairs of skis with speed. Transcend I pretend. Stop this is foolish. You can’t blame, you can only ask yourself what is the cause and what is the root. Jealousy. There my limiting factor. I want to be great so why are they and I am not. Please rot. I can’t stand your pedestal. “You’re skiing lacks passion” that’s why you’re crashing. Not because she is better than you. You, it’s simply you. No one is looking at you, just the people you wanted to be. So move on you can’t possibly be the best so just give up and rest. You’re no Shiffrin, Vonn, or Mancuso, so what is it that you could possibly do? Just sit there letting my emotions brew. I’m waiting for the eruption explosion when I just can’t take it anymore. It’s really not that dramatic drama queen. Waiting to start looking out infront that’s when it hits me when the spotlight shines. The calm before the storm, tranquility before chaos. But I am the only one thinking this.

Emma Ferer ’22