Live Love and Eat
Heal t h | Wellbeing| Nutrition
WAYS ON HOW YOU CAN START LOVING YOURSELF THIS VALENTINE'S DAY FLOWERS, CHOCOLATES AND THE HEART OF FENG SHUI Honor Yourself...
A sensitive subject: How can pain affect a relationship?
I'LL KEEP ON BEING ME
HOW TO BE BODY CONFIDENT How to build strength to do a full push-up
ISSUE 84 MARCH 2023/ ISSN 2689-7741
4 TOOLS TO FEEL 100% loved this Valentine's Day
WORLD CANCER DAY February 4th, 2023. How can you help?
What's love got to do with it? The many faces of Venus
Ways to celebrate Valentine's Day
LIVE LOVE AND EAT
WHAT IS INSIDE ISSUE 84
06
03 EDITOR'S NOTE 04 MEET OUR CONTRIBUTORS 06 WAYS TO CELEBRATE VALENTINE'S DAY
11 FOUR TOOLS TO FEEL 100%
LOVED THIS VALENTINE'S DAY
15 WHAT'S LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT? THE MANY FACES OF VENUS
22 HOW TO BUILD STRENGTH TO DO A FULL PUSH-UP
28
56
EXCLUSIVE!
FLOWERS, CHOCOLATES AND THE HEART OF FENG SHUI
24 WAYS ON HOW YOU CAN START
32 WORLD CANCER DAY, BEST HEALTHY FEBRUARY 4TH RECIPES How can you help?
LOVING YOURSELF THIS VALENTINE'S DAY
36 HONOR YOURSELF..... 38 A SENSITIVE SUBJECT: HOW CAN PAIN AFFECT A RELATIONSHIP?
42 HOW TO BE BODY CONFIDENT 54 I'LL KEEP ON BEING ME
New Stories, New Writers
Editor’s Note It is February, the month of Love! As some of us don't celebrate Valentine's day, some of us do, I would like to think that we all celebrate love in February and I call this Self-love and Self Care. Self Love and Self Care are so important to us in so many ways. It is not selfish to love yourself, take care of yourself and make your happiness a priority. It is necessary. How are you going to give some self-love and selfcare to yourself this month?
Bernadine Otto
Editor-in-Chief
Check out our Self Care tips in the issue. In this issue, we have amazing articles, if it is your health, well-being, or nutrition we have you covered. Be sure to check out our healthy recipes.
CONTACT US 4497 Wyndtree Drive #212 West Chester Ohio 45069 513 2758081 bernadine@liveloveandeatmagazine.com www.liveloveandeatmagazine.com
Our Team
4497 Wyndtree Drive , West Chester 45069 513 275 8081 | bernadine@liveloveandeatmagazine.com
Bernadine Otto
Jace Jacobs
Managing Editor Weight loss coach
Author/Happy Mindset Poet
Judy Brown
Victoria Kleinsman
Health and Wellness coach
Food Freedom Body Love Coach
Tracy Markley
Dr. Danielle Litoff
Author, Trainer, Speaker, Radio Host, Ambassador
Sherry Parks Money Mindset Coach
Kim Klein Life Coach, Certified Holistic Health Coach, Certified Feng Shui Practitioner, and author.
Doctor of Physical Therapy and Health Coach
Linda Watson Astrologer & Soul Guide
Ingrid Harm-Ernandes Pelvic physical therapist/Author
Copyright © 2023 Bernadine Otto. All rights reserved. Published by Live Love and Eat
VALENTINES DAY Valentine's Day is a celebration of love and friendship. Valentine's Day is on the 14th of February
GROUNDHOG DAY Groundhog day marks the midway point between the winter solstice and the vernal equinox. The tradition goes that this day is used to help determined how many weeks of winter might be left.
SUPER BOWL The Superbowl is the season-final championship game of the National Football League (NFL) in the United States of America. The Superbowl is on the 12th of February 2023.
e t a r b e l e c o t Ways y a D s ' e n i t n e Val Take the time to dress up even if you are spending the holiday alone Put Up Valentine’s Day Tree Have a Valentine’s Day Bonfire Practise Self-Care and Self Love Treat yourself to a spa or a long bubble bath. Make a homemade card for someone or you're loved one Watch a romantic movie with your loved ones
HEALTH AND WELLNESS TIPS Self-care Ways to practice self care
It’s essential not to get caught up in what the wellness industry (or anyone else)thinks self-care should be for YOU because it’s a unique and personal journey. Self-care routine can result in: Improved mood Reduced anxiety or stress Improved relationship with yourself Improved relationships with others Better physical and mental health Mental clarity & increased energy levels More joy and fulfillment If your self-care routine feels forced or involves doing things you don’t like, then it’s time to try something else. Self-care is meant to be enjoyable, not something you dread, so choose something you enjoy.
Decide which one or two self-care routines you want to incorporate in the next few days. Mindfulness Being mindful means tuning into your thoughts and emotions and making decisions based on logic AND intuition. Your gut has neurological pathways, so when you get ‘that gut feeling,’ it’s usually because your body is trying to tell you something. When you listen to yourself and become more aware of your surroundings, it’s easier for you to feel more in touch with your life and the world that surrounds you.
MOVEMENT Movement is good for the body, mind, and soul. Finding an exercise routine that’s right for you is the key to making it last. Here are some great ways to start moving your body that doesn’t necessarily involve going to the gym for an hour every day: Walking for 20 - 30 minutes Dancing or kickboxing Yoga or Pilates Swimming Strength training NATURE Spending time in nature has been shown to help with mental health issues such as anxiety and depression. Finding activities outside can be a wonderful form of self-care. (2) Spending a reasonable amount of time outdoors can help with seasonal affective disorder and help to prevent Vitamin D deficiency. Some amazing outdoor activities that you can do to improve your mood include: Nature walks Biking & hiking Swimming Going to the beach Gardening Spending time with your family outside (picnics, rock collecting, outdoor craft activities)
BREATHWORK & MEDITATION Meditation and controlled breathwork are essentially exercises that teach you to control your breathing rate to bring more awareness to your breath and create a sense of calm. This can be done while in meditation or throughout the day in 5 minutes to an hour of deep, rhythmic breathing techniques. The benefits of doing meditation and mindful breathwork are vast! Many people report more clarity, reduced stress levels, increased alertness, and a boost to the immune system. Apps such as Headspace, Calm, or Buddhify can help guide you on your meditative journey.
FOUR TOOLS TO FEEL 100% LOVED THIS VALENTINE’S DAY WRITTEN BY SHERRY PARKS
Well, here we are in February. The LOVE month. The time when the world goes a little crazy with hearts, flowers, chocolates, date nights, wedding proposals, and on and on. And I’ll be honest, I pretty much ignore all of it. This is an article about love. Not the romantic kind of love. This article is about the love that lives inside each of us. The love we do (or don’t) have for ourselves. Yes, I’m talking about self-love. And when you read that, you may think, nah this article isn’t for me. And I ask you to stick with me for a moment. What I have to share just may apply to you, even when love is all around you, coming from lots of different directions. I’ve never had a romantic relationship where I felt 100% accepted and loved for who I am. This story isn’t about that though. I did have that kind of love from one person (and that is a complete blessing for which I am grateful). My mother loved me with 100% acceptance. She may not have always approved of my life and my decisions, yet I knew that without a doubt, she loved me.
She loved me deeply and completely and even when I disappointed her, she was there loving me. Even when I said something hurtful, she was there loving me. And I’ll be honest, when she passed away, this is the thing I missed the most. Yes, I missed her laugh and her wise words. I missed our conversations and our trips to the beach, and more. And still, the one thing I grieved for and felt the loss of the most was her love. That unconditional, all-encompassing, never wavering love.
And missing that, left me feeling lost and alone and so, so vulnerable to the vagaries of life. I didn’t have anyone else to turn to. With no romantic partner in sight, there seemed no hope of filling that void. I turned to my siblings and friends, and I know they love me. And it’s also not the same. After several months of grieving, I decided that there was only one thing to do. I had to give myself the love I needed. I had to fill those holes inside with love for myself. After all, I 100% believe that we each have inside us all that we need for life. And that means that I have enough love inside of me to love myself the way I need. And with that, I set out on a quest to start filling up that hole inside. I wanted to fill it with so much love that it would spill out and overflow all around me. Here are a few of the things that I did.
I wrote a love note to myself every single day. I wrote things that my mom used to say to me “Sherry, I love you more than all the trees in West Virginia”. Or, “Sherry, I love you to the moon and back again”. Sometimes, I just wrote silly things like. “Sherry, I love that you love cats so much”. Or, “Sherry, I love your soft belly.” It didn’t matter what I wrote as long as it was a message of love. I’ll be honest, it took a while – there finally came a point when I started feeling loved. I started looking forward to those love notes, just like I had looked forward to the love texts from my mom.
I looked at myself in the mirror, made eye contact, and said I love you – out loud. This one can feel super uncomfortable. And it is required. Eye contact gives an added layer of depth to the love message. It helps connect you to yourself so that you can receive the message on a different level. Writing love notes is one thing. When you speak them and see love at the same time, well that is a whole new ballgame. This one may be difficult. Especially if you don’t have much selflove, to begin with. And it is totally possible. If you do it, I promise, it will get easier.
I gave myself hugs and touch. One of the most important components to love is physical touch. I’m not talking about sexual touch, but rather, touch that gives love, kindness, and gentleness. Studies show that touch can release oxytocin, the feelgood hormone. This is one of the reasons why touch is such an important part of the human experience. While a hug from someone you love really can’t be replaced by hugging yourself, you can still receive benefits from your own loving touch. One of the ways I show myself love through touching is to place my hands over my heart, close my eyes and whisper “Sherry, you are loved and you are supported”. Another practice I have is to place my hands on my belly or chest and imagine that I’m sending love and light straight into my torso. I envision it. I feel the warmth of my hands and see that as loving energy.
I opened myself to Universal love. This one may sound even cornier than the others. I believe that human beings are all connected. I’m able to send loving energy to someone else in the room with me, or I can send it all around the world. I know there are people in this world, who send love out to the universe every day. And I can tap into that. I can receive that. For me, that practice looks like a light beaming down on the crown of my head. I do a grounding practice where I sit comfortably in a chair, feet on the ground, feeling the chair support me. Then, I close my eyes and take a few deep breaths. Lastly, I imagine a beautiful, white, light of love shining down on my head and getting absorbed slowly. It flows from the crown of my head all the way down to the ground. Flowing right through my brain, my chest, my heart space, my abdomen. Through my arms and legs too. It touches all of me with love and acceptance. You might be a human who feels loved and never feels a lack of it. Or, you might be like me and don’t quite get enough love from external sources. No matter who you are, I think you’ll find that one or all of these practices will serve you. Give yourself the gift of love this February.
Sherry Parks, CPA, is a Life & Money Mindset Coach who helps women escape feeling trapped by their finances. She is passionate about helping women change their mindsets, emotions, and actions regarding money so that they learn to keep what they have and generate more. Check out her 5 Steps to a Better Money Story workbook or join her women-only Facebook group More Than Enough Money Sisterhood.
WHAT’S TO
DO
THE OF
LOVE WITH
MANY
GOT IT?
FACES
VENUS Written By Linda Watson
Since February is typically the month that we associate with all things related to love and romance, it is only fitting that this month’s article is dedicated to the planet of love and beauty in all of her forms – Venus. Venus is the planetary ruler of both Taurus and Libra. Venus represents the core essence of the feminine. The Goddess of Love and Beauty. In her earlier origins, she was worshipped as a nature goddess and mother of all ongoing creation. She is the embodiment of grace, harmony, and beauty, cultivating these attributes through the arts and through her diplomacy and charm. She symbolizes how we attract the things that we love and value, and through her energy, we determine the things we appreciate. Venus expresses what makes us feel good and is inspired when we are in partnership and romantic situations. The human impulse is to connect with others, and Venus is the planet that helps us form relationships. Her primary function is love in all its forms. But make no mistake, she is also a rejecting planet, having no problem discriminating with whom she forms attachments and who she doesn’t. This is the goddess who taught the lessons of sexuality, desire, and the affection we arouse in others, as well as sorrow, loss, and rejection in love.
In the birth chart, wherever Venus is located, can indicate how we attract the people and things that we love and value, as well as our aesthetic tastes. It shows where we anchor our values. Since Venus rules both Taurus and Libra, this means this planet also rules 2 different houses in the zodiac. The 2nd house is home to Taurus, and the 7th house is home to Libra. The 2nd house is the House of Self-Worth. It represents our financial and psychological resources. It rules our personal money, resources, possessions, and personal values. It shows our self-esteem or lack of, and the things that we find of value.
The 7th house is known as the House of Relationships. It rules marriage, partnerships (both personal and business), cooperation, and our open enemies. It represents pretty much all significant one-to-one relationships which could include those such as therapist/client, attorney/client, or business partners. It is also about learning how to strike a balance, learn diplomacy, and learn how to collaborate with others. Venus transits into the sign of Pisces the day after Valentine’s Day on February 15th. Venus is in her exaltation in this compassionate and dreamy water sign. This is an especially lovely placement for Venus. When we say that a planet is exalted in a sign, what we are saying is that the planet, in this case, Venus, feels comfortable and welcomed in this sign. It's an easy fit and creates an atmosphere where the signs foster the expression of the planets. A comfortable and easy expression of sensuality and beauty is experienced when Venus is in Pisces...Pisces' romantic and sensitive ways foster Venus' need for beauty and sensuality.
Leaving the sign of Aquarius and moving into Pisces provides a softening of the Venus energy, however, Venus loses some of her more independent attitudes about love. In Aquarius, this Venusian energy was more free-spirited, open-minded, and romantic interests were piqued by more intellectual communication with an unexpected or unusual person. Venus in Pisces is very dreamy and romantic. Just be aware that this combination can fog up your judgment when you are looking at someone special. It is so easy to believe in love at first sight, so take things slow and make sure you are not falling in love with an illusion or what you want this person to be. But being idealistic is also a good thing and allows you to experience love in its most clear and deep form. Aside from romance, Venus in Pisces can provide an amazingly vivid and creative imagination that seems almost otherworldly. If you are an artist or any type of creative, this time period could be the beginning of something special. In fact, Venus is in conjunction aspect with Neptune at this time as well. Neptune is the ruling planet of Pisces which makes this connection even more special in terms of creativity and imagination. If you are an artist, you could find yourself channeling your inner visions into your work very easily. Your senses, inspiration, and intuition will also be heightened during this time. Within your personal relationships, you feel drawn to making even deeper connections. All in all, during this transit, take advantage of and keep your eyes open for new romantic encounters, strengthen meaningful friendships, look for ways to connect to all things beautiful, trust your inspiration and creative urges, learn to find your own value and self-worth, and be your most harmonious and generous self. Since Venus helps to define our relationship with others, and also with the beautiful things in life, let’s take a look at what each zodiac sign can expect from transiting Venus during this time period.
New Collections ARIES – March 21 – April 19 Venus is transiting through a very private sector in your chart. Your affections will most likely take place secretly behind closed doors, possibly indicating a clandestine love affair, or if not an actual affair, private feelings of attraction or longing. During this time period, you may also find yourself connecting more to your imagination, spirituality, and artistic urges. As Venus moves into the 1st house later in the month, your love energy becomes more enthusiastic and “out-there.” Look for or act on new romantic relationships, or if you are already in one, concentrate on making that bond stronger.
TAURUS – April 20 – May 20 With Venus transiting through your 11th house, your focus is on finding pleasure and connecting with friends or social groups who share like-minded interests in the arts, music, or other forms of creative expression. Because of your positive nature at this time, you’ll find that you will attract positive people around you. In the area of romance/love, you are looking for that special person who shares the same interests as you, so this would be a great way to meet someone new. Don’t expect fireworks and passion at this point. It is not where you’re at. It’s more about starting slow and building a mental rapport first or perhaps seeing a friend in a whole new way and building from there.
GEMINI – May 21 – June 20 During this time period, you are likely to find yourself shining within your career or professional life, especially if you are involved in the arts or beauty industry. You are also at your most charming and friendly now, which has those in authority sitting up to take notice. Your reputation right now brings social opportunities through your career sector giving you more opportunities to socialize and network. In terms of romance, you will be attracted to someone who has their act together in their career or has a respectable social reputation.
CANCER – JUNE 21 – JULY 22 Freedom, travel, learning, and adventure are where your quest for harmony and happiness lies this month. You are looking for fun and romance in new and exciting places. You could very well meet someone while traveling to a new and culturally different place. If you do meet someone new at this point in time, it is more likely to be someone of a different background or educational level who can expand your horizons. You will feel a strong connection within yourself between your creative and artistic senses, and your higher mind, and have new experiences that allow you to learn and teach others what you’ve learned.
LEO – July 23 – August 22 Venus is transiting your 8th house. Love that happens during this period is deep, transformative, and sexual. But, it is more than sexual. It is about true intimacy. Digging deep into those psychological recesses. There is a strong need to be truly intimate with someone. Anyone or anything that comes across as superficial just won’t do it for you. In addition, there is a connection between sharing power and finances as well, where finances could get a boost through your partner or family.
VIRGO – August 23 – September 22 Venus is transiting through your 7th house which is one of the houses ruled by Venus. This indicates a strong connection to relationships and partnerships this month. Relationships or partnerships started under this transit are meaningful and lasting. You’ll have the desire to be in a committed relationship or to make a commitment. This is the real deal. In regard to other partnerships, either personal or business, this is a good time to consider collaborations, negotiations, and compromises.
LIBRA – September 23 – October 22 Your love language during this time period is through your service to others. It is about showing how you feel through small acts of kindness. It is possible that if you are looking for love, you may find it in the work environment where there may be more social interactions happening at this time. What you can be sure of is that relationships at work will be very harmonious and you will most likely get more appreciation than usual.
SCORPIO – October 23 – November 21 With Venus transiting your 5th house, be prepared to feel your inner child flow through you and to experience a period of creative self-expression. And most importantly, since the 5th House is the house of love, romance, and sexual encounters, this is a great time to begin dating someone new. This is a time of playful romance. Nothing heavy or serious. Just a time when you enjoy the excitement and pleasure of meeting new people and exploring the dating world..
SAGITTARIUS – November 22 – December 21 The emphasis this month is on the love and appreciation for your home and family. This transit brings up feelings of wanting to create a warm, cozy and safe retreat for yourself and your loved ones. This is the type of love that is speaking to you now. Don’t be surprised if you jump into a home redecorating project to design the perfect space to regenerate your energy and strength and nourish your emotional soul.
CAPRICORN – December 22 – January 19 With Venus transiting your 3rd house, you are looking for that special someone who can stimulate your mind and inspire you on an intellectual level. You want more than good looks and sex. You want someone who you can carry on meaningful and interesting conversations with on a variety of subjects. You may just meet that person in your own neighborhood, local coffee shop, or at some type of community project or course.
AQUARIUS – January 20 – February 18 Venus is in your 2nd house which is more about reassessing your worth and what is of value to you. You want to have more foundational and financial security during this time period and spending money on physical things that make you feel good is one way that you compensate. Any relationship that you attract now will be one that makes you feel secure, and stable and will increase your self-esteem.
PISCES – February 19 – March 20 Venus is bringing the attention all on you. You will feel like making the effort to take extra good care of yourself. Maybe a new hairstyle, going for a massage or facial, getting extra rest, or treating yourself to that new restaurant you’ve been wanting to try. It is all about self-love. This also makes it an excellent time to find love because you are more confident, charming, and a pleasure to be around. The new you become an attraction magnet.
Linda Watson is the owner and creator of Soul Guide Astrology. She is a member of the American Federation of Astrologers. She provides birth chart readings and solar return (yearly) chart readings, offering support, insight, and guidance to better help others find their focus and move forward with their dreams. You can schedule a consultation by visiting her website, www.soulguideastrology.com. Find her on Facebook at Facebook.com/linda.watsonastrolog or on Instagram at instagram.com/soulguideastrology
Written By Dr. Danielle Litoff How To Build Strength to Do a Full Push-Up Push-ups are a great exercise for strength and stability and building muscles for good posture. They work the back, your chest, and your core. Having strength in these areas helps with overall stability, balance, and injury prevention. But it is important that you do not “fake” your way through a push-up. You want to look at different modifications so you can build that strength over time to get to a full push-up with good form. While the whole body has to be fired up and engaged for pushups, the powerhouse strength comes from your upper body. Push-ups target the muscles in your chest (your pectorals), arms (particularly the triceps), and the shoulders (particularly the stabilizing muscles). There are several variations you can do depending on your strength and level of activity. But the most important thing in all these variations is form. You have to have good form with a push-up to avoid injuring your lower back or shoulders.
Variations on a Push-up Many women shy away from push-ups because they think they are too hard, or they do not have the upper body strength, or they have been told for years to modify to a “girl push-up”. If you can’t do a full push-up right away, don’t give up! These are a complete, full-body engaging exercise and you may have to build up the strength to do them.
If you are new to the exercise or don’t have enough strength yet to do a full push-up, start with a wall push-up. You will want to get into a very straight line with your core engaged and then lower in one straight line towards the wall. Keep your fingertips lower than your shoulder and check to make sure your middle fingertip is no higher than the shoulder as you lower down. If you can do five to 15 of those with really good form, then move to the mat. On the floor, start with a modified push-up on your knees. Turn your arms out and then lower down, holding your core really tight. When that feels good and strong, you can come down on your knees and then raise your knees so you are in a plank, and then push up. You can also use a mini band around your arms to support the chest as you come down, so there is no break in the spine. Once you feel really strong in these variations, then you can go into a full push-up.
Dr. Danielle Litoff DPT is a Doctor of Physical Therapy and Health Coach at Battle Born Health in Reno, NV. Her practice focuses on the principles of modern, proven medicine, delivered with an old-fashioned commitment to patient care and one-on-one relationships. For more wellness tips, visit her blog where she writes about various topics of nutrition, health, and physical therapy." https://www.battlebornhealth.com/ https://www.facebook.com/battlebornhealth/ https://www.instagram.com/battlebornhealth/
WAYS ON HOW YOU CAN START LOVING YOURSELF THIS VALENTINES DAY Written By Bernadine Otto
I struggled with loving myself for years, when we are born, we are loved, and people and our parents tell us how loved we are. As a little girl, you don't even think about loving yourself. But as you grow older, you get lots of pressure, you meet people who make you feel not loved and it makes you miserable, or you go through some sort of trauma. A few years ago, I was struggling to love myself, just looking at myself in the mirror was a task that I did not like doing. For many years I struggled to even say the words. I would look at people and think do they love themselves? How do they get to that point in their lives?
So, I set on a mission. I started to reach out to women, by asking them why or not they love themselves. 80% of women told me that they hate the way they look, some told me how they hate their bodies, their hair, their eyes, and the list goes on. And that they are constantly on a diet. Losing and picking it up again. 20% of women told me that they love everything about themselves. So why do some women love themselves and some do not? Is it really that simple? Today the media is the highest influencer on body image. Women compare themselves with other women and images on social media, in magazines, and online. Women with a negative body image find that it impacts their everyday lives. Many women avoid wearing a variety of clothing and use clothing to hide their bodies. For example, many women will wear big baggy sweatshirts or sweatpants to avoid showing their stomachs. Or wearing long pants to avoid showing their legs. Most women also avoid activities to protect themselves from negative body image. Many of my clients have not gone to a swimming pool for a long time. I always tell my clients to face their fears and start loving their bodies while working towards the body they want and slowly embracing their bodies. Loving ourselves is so important.
’ W h e n y o u l o v e y o u r s e l f, l i f e loves you back’’-Unknown
If you hate your body and tell it constantly, it will not want to work with you to lose weight. Not to mention that you will be exhausted from this constant battle with yourself. Showing love and acceptance to your body has energized effects. It enables it to work with you to create a slimmer, happier you. Instead of saying, I don't respect or love my body, say this instead: ''I love and respect my body''! So many of us hide from us, and we do not know who we are. It is not selfish to love ourselves when we start loving ourselves, we will see amazing results in ourselves, our relationships, and with other people. Loving yourself is necessary before you can authentically offer love to someone else.
Loving yourself and accepting yourself begins with never criticizing yourself for anything. I call loving ourselves the miracle cure. When we start loving ourselves, magic happens in our hearts, body, and soul. On this Valentine's day practice some self-love.
Here are a few ways how you can start loving yourself a little bit each day. Start to write 3 things down that you love about yourself. Affirm that your body is perfect just the way it is. Take sticky notes and write a positive affirmation on each one and paste it all over your house. Think of your body as a tool. What 3 things does your body do for you each day? Think back to a time when you loved and enjoyed your body. What feelings come up? Show gratitude towards your body. Write down one thing that you are grateful for. Look at yourself in the mirror and repeat this affirmation: I love myself, I love myself. Even if you don't think so, if you do this a few times it will get easier. Remember loving our bodies/ourselves is not just a switch that you put on and off. Every small effort that you make every day will get you closer to loving your body.
Bernadine Otto is a Certified Transformational Nutrition Coach & an EFT Practitioner and the Managing editor of The Live, Love, and Eat Magazine. She helps women to make peace with food, cravings, and emotional eating by using a technique called The EFT Tapping Method for Weight Loss and Cravings. She also works with women who are tired of dieting, and women who have a negative body image. My approach is not to focus on calories or the scale but to find the root cause so my clients can have the happy, healthy life that they deserve. https://www.bernadineisthebodyshrink.com/ https://www.liveloveandeatmagazine.com/ https://www.instagram.com/dienkie1/
FLOWERS, CHOCOLATES, AND THE HEART OF FENG SHUI Written By Kim Klein
There is a certain holiday, all pink and red, wine and roses, Hallmark cards and hearts. And while many people love this day, it seems that oftentimes their partners block it from their minds until the drive home, and then, a quick stop at the supermarket where they luckily pick up one of the last bouquets of mixed flowers, a rather generic greeting card and maybe even a box of those horrible store-bought chocolates. Yes, you know the ones. If you’re in a loving relationship, it’s a day to show your partner appreciation, to get romantic. To turn your back on the day-to-day responsibilities and small irritants and revel in each other’s love and admiration. But if you’re single, whether by choice or by circumstance, it can be a rather dreaded occasion as you sit home downing a pint of Ben and Jerry’s Chunky Monkey and watch reruns of Sex and the City.
Being somewhat of a non-conformist, I by no means believe that everyone should be in a relationship that entails “till death do us part.” But for those of you that are in a relationship and feel it could stand a little improvement (and don’t kid yourself, all relationships could use a little key in the ignition now and then) or for those of you looking for love, keep reading. In Feng Shui, where our environment mirrors our lives, we want it to look it's very best. We want it clean, happy, filled with items we love, items that have a purpose and that serve us well. We want to be able to relax, feel comfortable, to feel at “home.” Our home in Feng Shui is divided into several life areas, and one of those areas rules the “romance” area, as does our bedroom. There are specific guidelines for adding or removing items in this area to attract or maintain a wonderful relationship. They make perfect sense when you stop and think about them. If you’re looking to attract a partner, you’ll want to make sure that your bedroom is ready for two. You’ll want to have two nightstands (they do not have to match but should be of equal size), and two table lamps (again, of equal size to promote equality) and you’ll want to balance the yin and yang. That means not too masculine and not too feminine. If you’re unsure how to do this, get inspiration from your favorite hotel rooms (I’m talking the Santa Barbara Biltmore people, okay, that’s my favorite, you can choose your own). Google them. Copy them. Add some of your personality and make it your sanctuary. But notice how most of them are nonbinary - they feel comfortable with whoever is staying there.
If your bedroom is too feminine, with lots of pastels, lace, teddy bears on the bed, one little night table, and one small reading lamp, you’re basically saying that you’re happy with what you have and maybe not ready for a relationship.
Does it best serve both of you?
Now, if your bedroom is too masculine, still sporting a ratty old sleeping bag as your comforter, there is a naked girl auto shop calendar adorning your wall, and a trophy fish hanging proudly over the bed, it might be time to change things up! Trust me on this. The idea here is to make someone feel at home and comfortable in your space.
Do you both feel comfortable, and enjoy the colors, and the art? You both live here and you should both love it.
Some more tips:
Clear out any clutter and make this space as extraordinary as you would like your relationship to be.
Add items in pairs, use the most luxurious linens you can afford, remove the TV, or at least put it behind closed doors or cover at night, remove items from under the bed, don’t sleep under heavy beams, and as much as you might not like me saying this, if you have a King size bed, consider a Queen. Much better Feng Shui. Contact me and I’ll tell you why. If you’re currently in a relationship look at this room with fresh eyes.
In Feng Shui, bedrooms are best used for sleep and intimacy. They are not to be used as workspaces, exercise rooms, or catch all’s.
Unfortunately, we tend to pay more attention to the rooms in our homes that are public spaces and neglect the areas that should be our private retreat. We spend the most amount of concentrated time in our bedrooms, we sleep here, heal here, and love here.
Clear out any clutter and make this space as extraordinary as you would like your relationship to be. Unfortunately, we tend to pay more attention to the rooms in our homes that are public spaces and neglect the areas that should be our private retreat. We spend the most amount of concentrated time in our bedrooms, we sleep here, heal here, and love here. When most of us think of romance we are usually transported to a place with soft music, candlelight, fire in the fireplace, beautifully set tables, and a delicious aromatic meal, possibly by the sea. This is just one example of how sensitive we are to our surroundings and how much they affect our thoughts, moods, and actions. Work to recreate this ambiance in your own home. Let’s try treating ourselves like the gifts we are, every day, all year long. We all need love, to give love, and to get love. So, make room for that special someone, make room for yourself, and treat each other like every day is Valentine’s Day.
Klein is a Life Coach, Certified Holistic Health Coach, Certified Feng Shui Practitioner, and author. She is the founder of Kim Klein Life Coaching and Wabi-Sabi Women and is the author of Damn, the Pusherman ~ Sugar, The Legal Drug that is Keeping You Sick and Fat, and Nine Degrees North, a young adult fiction novel. https://kimkleincoaching.com/ https://www.facebook.com/groups/boomerwomen/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimberklein/ kimberjklein@gmail.com
WORLD CANCER DAY FEBRUARY 4TH, 2023. HOW CAN YOU HELP?
WRITTEN BY TRACY MARKLEY
World Cancer Day was created twenty-three years ago to raise awareness of cancer. It was also created to work towards decreasing cancer cases by the end of the year 2020. Most of us have known someone who has had cancer or possibly has it or has had it yourself. What is cancer? The Worldcancerday.org website shares that Cancer is a disease that occurs when changes in a group of normal cells within the body lead to uncontrolled, abnormal growth forming a lump called a tumor; this is true of all cancers except leukemia (cancer of the blood). If left untreated, tumors can grow and spread into the surrounding normal tissue, or to other parts of the body via the bloodstream and lymphatic systems, and can affect the digestive, nervous, and circulatory systems or release hormones that may affect body function.
They also share that there are five main types of cancer. Carcinoma – Begins in the skin or in tissues that line or cover internal organs. There are different subtypes of carcinomas. Sarcoma – Begins in the connective or supportive tissues such as bone, cartilage, fat, muscles, or blood vessels. Leukemia – This is a cancer of the white blood cells. It begins in the tissues that make blood cells such as the bone marrow. Lymphoma and Myeloma – begin in the cells of the immune system.
You can learn more information about each of these cancer types at www.worldcancer.org. I personally have experienced my stepdaughter and my stepfather having bone cancer. My stepdaughters began in bone, but my stepfather began with prostate cancer that spread to the bone. Cancer sucks! That is a fact that everyone knows. After eight surgeries and chemotherapy, my stepdaughter survived her cancer at age 12. My stepfather, unfortunately, did not survive his. It was spread too far, and he was 80 years old. Now my mother has pancreatic cancer that has spread to her liver. How can you help support the fight against cancer? All throughout the year in most countries there are fundraisers, 5ks, 10ks, marathons, special events, and websites that help raise money for specific cancer. Many people support the type of cancer that they have had or someone they know has or has had, or lost their life to. You can find the foundations and organizations of specific cancers online. You will find many ways to donate time, and money, or go to or create your own event to help.
How can you help someone who has cancer? Always show you care and continue to reach out. Offer or just bring them groceries and or make meals to bring over to their home if they are home. When you tell them “Call me if you need anything.”, truly mean it. Just being there is wonderful. Often people avoid and or limit their time visiting or reaching out to someone they know with a disease or cancer because they are uncomfortable and don’t know what to say or do. It is common not to know the best words to say, but don’t let the person struggling with cancer get lonely and left alone a lot. People need care and support.
I personally have experienced my stepdaughter and my stepfather having bone cancer. My stepdaughters began in bone, but my stepfather's began as prostate cancer that spread to the bone. Cancer sucks! That is a fact that everyone knows. After eight surgeries and chemotherapy, my stepdaughter survived her cancer at age 12. My stepfather, unfortunately, did not survive his. It was spread too far, and he was 80 years old. Now my mother has pancreatic cancer that has spread to her liver.
I am my mother’s full-time caregiver. Most nights we are both up. There are nights when we have been up five times. We both are tired and taking one day at a time. As a fitness professional, I often get new clients who hire me to help them get healthy and lose weight after spending months or even years being a caregiver to a parent or spouse. I always have tried to have a strong understanding of their position and understand that the struggle is real and not to judge them for not having taken care of themselves better through a hard time. I understand it even more as I am helping my mother. People who have cancer and their caregivers have a lot on their plate. Cancer affects people mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Reach out to show you care. It will mean the world to them and help them not to feel alone.
Tracy Markley is the owner of Tracy's Personal Training, Pilates & Yoga Studio. She is the author of 11 books. Her work is known for training stroke survivors. She is the 2021 IDEA Personal Trainer of the Year. She also created the CEC course "Stroke Recovery Training" for the fitness industry. Tracy was one of the IDEA 2020 Personal Trainer of the Year Finalists. She is recognized for her work, books, and for helping stroke survivors worldwide. She is an NFHOF Pro (National Fitness Hall of Fame) Recognized as one of "Today's Top Trainers" in 2019. She believes “Knowledge is Power” and has earned many certifications in the fitness industry. www.tracymarkley.com www.amazon.com/author/tracymarkley www.instagram.com/motivate_healthyfit www.facebook.com/tracyfitt https://twitter.com/TracylMarkley www.tracys-healthy-365.blogspot.com www.linkedin.com/in/tracymarkleyfit
Honor yourself……. WRITTEN BY JUDY BROWN
All of life is cyclical. The moon and sun go round and round. Waves roll in and out. Your birthday comes and returns. The day repeats itself. You sleep and you wake. You get happy and you get sad. Your breath goes in and out. We Inhale, we exhale. Sometimes it is effortless. Other times it tires us. It is good to honor our cycles, our emotions, our energy levels, and our ups, and downs. February is a month of love. This is a time for words of appreciation and loves to friends and family. It is also an opportunity for self-love and honoring ourselves. February has returned from its cycle through the calendar. What a perfect month to give a little extra to ourselves. When we fill our own cups we have more to give to others.
Here are a 10 ways to honor ourselves this month: keep expectations reasonable…..for everything……for chores, work, family time, workout time, and all commitments. let go of certain routines that tire you. You can always reintroduce them when you are more able. take a mental health day or two. Take a break without guilt. Your body and mind will appreciate it. Most often this rejuvenates us. Even an hour can do the trick.
Listen to your body. Your body has wisdom. If you are experiencing stress, it often translates into bodily tightness or pain. Is it signaling you to stop and breathe? Give yourself permission to find a new rhythm to your day. Patterns get old. We often get stuck. Change it up and feel good about being proactive. Re-examine what makes you feel alive. What brings a smile to your face or energizes you? Add more of it to your life this month. In so doing, you might crowd out old habits and routines that no longer serve your well-being. Turn up the music and dance. Dance with yourself. It is amazing how uplifting a little bit of happy dancing can be! Try really hard to reduce technology and social media time. The benefits are immeasurable. Replace it with time in nature. Set up a cozy spot in your house that is all your own. Add your favorite photos and put a soft blanket on your chair. Light a candle and lose yourself in a good book. Call a friend and have tea. Dream together and make plans for fun times in the new year.
Sometimes honoring ourselves can be as easy as……..inhaling and exhaling. Honoring all that cycles throughout our day brings balance. Balance creates a little peace. Inhale, exhale……. Give yourself a little love this February!
Judy Brown has a BA in Biology from Connecticut College and is a Certified Holistic Health Coach trained by the Institute for Integrative Nutrition. She coaches women in their midlife years who want to reclaim their health and discover a more balanced and vibrant lifestyle. Judy provides individual and group coaching, workshops, smoothie demos, and guided meditations for groups. She has a blog and several published works. She has two grown children. Judy loves to read, write, walk in the woods, sail, have afternoon tea, and explore the world with her husband. Also in her spare time, Judy makes and sells cards and photo art from her photography. www.judyswellnesscafe.com https://www.facebook.com/judyswellnesscafe/
A SENSITIVE SUBJECT: HOW CAN PAIN AFFECT A RELATIONSHIP? Written By Ingrid Harm-Ernandes
February is often associated with love and relationships because of Valentine’s Day. While for some people this is a time to appreciate and shower their loved ones with gifts, for others it can be a time of frustration and pain. As a pelvic physical therapist, I have seen so many people who have pain centered at their pelvic floor and over time it begins to impact their entire lives. Relationships suffer or sometimes are not even begun because of pain or the fear of that pain. There are many reasons for this, but unfortunately for some people not only can physical pain occur with intercourse it can also eventually progress to difficulty with relationships and emotional pain as well. While sex is not always part of a relationship for many it is an important part. Pain with intercourse can occur for a number of reasons and it often goes by many different names. Vaginismus, genitopelvic pain/penetration disorder, and dyspareunia are a few names. These terms generally mean that an individual has pain during sexual intercourse or other sexual activity that involves penetration and involuntary contraction of muscles around the opening of the vagina. This will make intercourse painful and even impossible. For those with a penis, pain can also impact sexual activity. This can be during intercourse, at ejaculation, or after intercourse. There are many potential causes of pain with intercourse for anyone. These may include injuries to the pelvic region, pudendal neuralgia (compression of a nerve in the pelvis), vulvodynia, tissue changes that occur during menopause, post-pregnancy, and during cancer care, and response to physical or emotional trauma.
There is a common connection with all of these cases. That is the pelvic floor muscles (levator ani). They can tighten and/or have difficulty relaxing in day-to-day activities. When intercourse occurs these same muscles contract and make it difficult to have comfortable penetration during intercourse. Imagine if you held your hand in a loose fist you could pass a finger from your other hand thru it easily and comfortably. If you now tighten that fist it would be difficult and painful to get that finger through and if the fit is tight enough you could not fit your other finger through that fist at all. If the tissue has less lubrication, as might occur during menopause or with cancer treatment, then this can be abrasive as well. This can lead to more pain. Once the body knows that pain occurs with intercourse then the muscles will tighten more, making it more painful. You can imagine that if you know something is going to be painful you tense up, perhaps clench your fists or grit your teeth. If you know intercourse is painful your body will automatically tighten the pelvic floor muscles to protect you. Unfortunately, this leads to tighter muscles and a tighter vaginal entry, and more pain. This cycle can continue until intercourse is no longer possible. This is not something that the individual is trying to make happen, it happens automatically.
Pain with sex is something that for years was treated as purely a psychological issue and the musculoskeletal system was not considered as a possible cause. As a result, the muscles were ignored and people did not get proper treatment. In fact, women were often dismissed when they did feel brave enough to ask their practitioner about pain with sex. Many of my patients would come to me telling me that their practitioner told them to “Just go have a glass of wine and relax, honey!”. This would often make the situation worse. Stress and anxiety over the pain would worsen and the patient would often blame themselves for not getting better. This cycle would eventually become so strong that the patient stops having intercourse or just grit their teeth. The good news is that people can get treatment and can find themselves starting or returning to their relationships. Their quality of life improves tremendously for both themselves and their partner. Pelvic physical therapy is the answer to so many of these conditions. Pelvic physical therapists work with patients to improve tissue health and muscle function at the pelvic floor as well as muscle health throughout the hips, pelvis, back, and abdominal regions. They will guide the patient through various stretching techniques that might involve using dilators or wands at the pelvic floor. Dilators are of various sizes starting at a width that is about pinky-sized and graduating up to help slowly stretch the vaginal or anal canal. The wands are “S” shaped and help release trigger points anywhere at the pelvic floor internally and externally.
Both devices can help slowly stretch the tissue and prepare the patient for starting or returning to comfortable intercourse. Exercises for the entire body are often needed to help with flexibility and mobility that helps the patient with all activities as well as sex. A pelvic physical therapist will determine the patient’s ability and guide them through the entire process at a rate that is specific to that patient’s needs. Every patient is different and requires a program that is tailored to them. In addition, a pelvic physical therapist may suggest working with other practitioners like urogynecologists, gynecologists, endocrinologists, sex therapists, acupuncturists, mental health practitioners, and more. They may have you involve your significant other if it is appropriate. It is important to have a team approach when working with such a delicate subject. It can be very difficult for a patient with pain from sexual activity to step forward and ask for help. This can be out of embarrassment, because they have been told to live with it (“drink a glass of wine”), or because they are not aware that they can get help. This needs to change. There is so much misinformation on social media that can make learning about pain with sex and where to get treatment difficult. It is important to reach out to your medical practitioner. That can include a family medicine doctor practitioner, a urogynecologist, a gynecologist, and a pelvic physical therapist. If you do not get answers to move on to another practitioner who will listen to you.
Once you have started treatment with a pelvic physical therapist, they may recommend that you work with other practitioners to round out your team. When you start seeing the progress you can see how your life can drastically change. It may take a while but be patient and keep working at it. There are some websites that help with learning about sexual health. The Academy of Pelvic Health: https://aptapelvichealth.org/ and the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists: https://www.aasect.org/about-us are some reputable sites to investigate. My book “The Musculoskeletal Mystery: How to solve your pelvic floor symptoms” explains, in detail, the pelvic floor, pelvic physical therapy, members of your health care team, and some self-help tools to start your treatment.
With knowledge about our bodies and understanding that pain can happen at the pelvic floor and pelvis, and even better yet that there is treatment, we can move toward improving our pelvic health and our relationships. Partnership and teamwork guided by a pelvic physical therapist, and using the right tools, can be the answer to the question that some people don’t even know how to ask. Hopefully, guided by good information as cited above, people with feel more confident to step out and ask for help and find the right treatment. Relationships that already exist will become less stressful and more fulfilled and some may even find they are ready to start a relationship. Pelvic physical therapy can make that happen.
Ms. Harm-Ernandes is a pelvic physical therapist. She was the Co-Director and a mentor for the Duke Women’s Health Physical Therapy Residency Program, a mentor for new pelvic PTs, and participated in PFDN research projects. She is board certified in Women’s Health (WCS) and Pelvic Bloor Biofeedback and served on committees for both the APTA and AUGS. She enjoys presenting the importance of recognizing and assessing the pelvic musculoskeletal system. She published “Assessment of the Pelvic Floor and Associated Musculoskeletal System”, in the FPMRS journal in December 2021. In 2021 she published her book, “The Musculoskeletal Mystery: How to solve your pelvic floor symptoms”. She has been a guest on national and international podcasts and webinars and is “The Pelvic Detective on YouTube. Her goal is to provide individuals with the knowledge they need to get proper pelvic care and for everyone to realize that pelvic conditions are common but not normal. https://www.linkedin.com/in/ingrid-harm-ernandes-5057773b/ https://www.facebook.com/ingrid.harmernandes.71/
H O W T O B E B O D Y C O N F I D E N T WRITTEN BY VICTORIA KLEINSMAN
What is confidence anyway? Firstly it’s worth noting what confidence actually means. Let’s start by looking at the definition of Confidence: “a belief that one is capable of successfully meeting the demands of a task.“ So how does this relate to body confidence specifically? It starts with what demands we think we need to meet in order to be body confident. Because you and I have grown up in the same (or very similar) society, I’m going to state the demands that many of you may think you might need to meet in order to be body confident:
Being a certain dress size Having a “bikini body” Being small, cute, AND sexy – but not too short and not too cute, just the perfect amount of cute and sexy Being in proportion because God forbid if we don’t have an hourglass figure Having a small waist and a big bum (until the powers at be change it to heroin-chic again) Having perfectly smooth dimple free skin Being hairless from the eyebrows down Having no razor bumps, ingrown hairs, random long nipple hairs, or toe hair And everything else that I might have missed because there’s definitely more…
Be-Do-Have model I want to talk about the be-do-have model because this is really key in improving your body confidence (and anything in your life). You see most of us think we need to HAVE the ideal body in order to be able to DO the things we’ve been putting on hold until we have lost weight and then we’ll BE confident. But that’s backward because it’s your beliefs that create your reality, not the other way around. And so when – not if – you believe that you can be confident now – regardless of your body size or shape – then you can already DO the things a confident person would do and then you will HAVE confidence. You don’t need the ideal body in order to have something you want that will make your life a hella lot better. You don’t need to put your life on hold waiting for some magical day that most likely will never come in order to BE confident in your body. And be happy in life. That’s a lie we’re told from the moment we’re born in order for us to keep searching, striving, and purchasing things that we hope will bring us happiness.
It. will. never. be. enough. Trust me. I was interviewed for the Independent newspaper recently to give my expert opinion on what I thought about buccal fat removal. I mean wtf is buccal fat?! Well, turns out it’s the fat on cheeks’ that people are having surgically removed in order to have a chiseled face… (I KNOW!!!!) WHEN IS IT EVER GOING TO STOP? WHAT THE F.... WILL BE NEXT?! It. will. never. be. enough. So how the F do you just BE confident? Great question my love! I just shared that your beliefs shape your reality not the other way around. What is reality? Reality is different for every single person. No two people share the exact same reality. Your reality is how you see the world. You see the world through the lenses of your conditioning and past experiences. You can remove these lenses when you are open to changing your beliefs. When you change your beliefs your reality changes. That’s why “When you change on the inside, everything outside changes”. And THIS is very exciting because it means you can literally change your whole life for the better by changing your beliefs! I’ll get to how you do that shortly.
I’d like to talk a bit more about these lenses… when you’re conceived (yes, I’ve not gone crazy, I am talking about you as a cell) you are wearing no lenses. You’re a pure soul that has not given anything meaning. You just are. God states “I am that I am” but that’s getting too deep for what I want to share it here! Picture this, you’re in your mother’s womb and things start to change. Your unconscious mind (which you have when you’re just a cell because the mind isn’t in the brain, it’s in every cell of your being) absorbs every single thing in its environment from the day you’re conceived. Yes, It starts as early as this. And so let’s say when your mother was 3 months pregnant (with you) and she was called fat, you would have FELT her reaction to that which would have most likely been embarrassment and shame. POP – you have your first lens to see life… “Being fat is bad.”
You consciously or unconsciously (remember your unconscious is ALWAYS listening) hear your Grandad being racist. POP – now you have a racist lens. You see your mother’s friends reacting joyfully at your mother’s weight loss and you see your mother smiling. POP – another lens… “Losing weight is GOOD!” You notice on TV or at school the “fat kid” being bullied and POP – another lens! “In order to be accepted, I MUST be slim” Can you IMAGINE how many lenses you have?!
Imagine all sorts of things like that happening from the day you were conceived until you were around 7 years old. Up until around age 7 your brain waves are primarily in Theta which means you don’t yet possess full ‘consciousness’ — which is the ability to analyze, assess, think about, judge, or reason any incoming information from the environment — all new information bypasses this conscious filtration, instead just going straight into the unconscious mind. Simply put: children, during the few years of their lives, are basically walking around in a constant state of hypnosis.
Meaning: unlike an adult who hears something & has the mental ability to analyze it, question it, judge it, or reject it, children don’t (instead rather just accept it all). Critical thinking is absent. Can you see (pun intended) why you feel the way you do about your body? When you change your beliefs you’re removing one lens at a time with understanding and compassion and replacing it with rose-tinted ones… You can also choose not to replace your lenses with any lens of course – which is deeply spiritual work and will bring you peace (and emptiness) – but in my opinion, it’s much more fun (and human) to choose to look at life through lenses that make you feel confident, happy, sexy, etc. This is a great read about how your childhood affects your life. Changing your beliefs And so I’ve shared that your beliefs create your reality and not the other way around. I’ve shared that when you change your beliefs your whole reality changes. I’ve shared why you have the current beliefs and lenses that you have. Now I’ll share how to change your beliefs in the best way I can in an article/podcast. Ideally, I’ll need to coach you through changing your beliefs, not because you pay me to coach, you but because it takes me asking you questions to uncover your limiting beliefs beneath the beliefs, me coaching you through that, AND the support in between coaching sessions each day… but as I said, I’ll do my best.
In terms of body confidence lets go with “I can’t feel confident in my body unless I lose weight first.”
Let’s say out of all the lenses you’re wearing, the ones that influenced you the most equates to: “You can only be confident if you look good otherwise people will make fun of you.” It’s hard to say where I’ve learned this from as it feels so true to me. I guess knowing what I know now, I’ve learned it from everywhere, tv, magazines, school, my parents, everywhere.”
If I had the inability to think that I can’t be confident unless I lost weight first then I would feel… free as if there’s a weight had been lifted. It would make space for me to be confident anyway in the body I have. My life would be completely different because I’d do all the things I haven’t felt confident enough to do which I’ve been putting on hold until I lose weight.
It feels so true to me but I’m willing to work with this and let it go as I can’t be absolutely certain that it IS true… I’m sure there are people who are confident regardless of their bodies. This belief is definitely not serving me as it’s stopping me from truly living and I’m constantly failing diet after diet and feel worse about myself the more I do.
“I’d love to believe that I can be confident in the body I have now without losing weight first.”
“Other people with a similar body to me can be confident but I just can’t… I’m different.” This is where you can coach yourself through this objection; “Why can’t I?” ETC Meet every option with love and curiosity. This is where actual coaching is so helpful and transformative.
This is key! Act as if you are already confident. How would a confident person dress? act? walk? think? say? And do that.
You learned all your limiting (and positive) beliefs through repetition since you were a child. You modeled them over and over again through things you saw, experienced, and heard either consciously or unconsciously. And so you CAN create new beliefs. Granted, you can’t be a child again with a different upbringing but you CAN believe new beliefs, rewire your brain, release stored trauma AND create your own reality. And so repetition is super important to EMBODY the new belief and therefore create a new reality for yourself.
What I ask my clients before we start working together is: Are you willing to change your beliefs around food and body? Are you then willing to have different beliefs from most people? If both answers are yes then I KNOW that the client will be living in true food freedom and body love. Acting as if really want to revisit this aspect of changing your beliefs because it’s the most part. Acting as if you are already confident. “I’m not what I think I am. I’m not what you think I am. I’m what I think you think I am.” Charles Cooley Remember what I said about the lenses? You can take all your lenses off and then you’ll be left with nothing meaning anything.
A tree is just a tree. A flower is just a flower. A dog is just a dog. Chocolate is just chocolate. A large body is just a large body. A small body is just a small body. No meaning positive or negative.
And remember the part where I said it’s much more fun to put lenses on that make life seem fun, happy, and loving? “There are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle” -Albert Einstein Nothing means anything until you give meaning to something and so whatever “story” you give to something is all BS anyway, so you may as well choose to tell yourself a story that makes you feel good…! THAT’S the power of creating your own reality! Yes, we have a societal consensus that fat is bad and thin is good but that’s because we’re living in dogma. Dogma is a belief or set of beliefs that are accepted by many without being questioned or doubted. We get to doubt those beliefs and create our own set of beliefs and start living in our own goddamn reality! A reality where we live as the authentic version of ourselves which is all based on self-love. Confidence is a feeling and a choice. It is not a body size. The same goes for sexiness. Sexy is not a body size. It is a feeling that then emanates outward. People often think they have to become “confident enough” until they can wear something or do something. “I can’t go on a date, attend a party, or wear a bathing suit in public…because I don’t feel confident enough yet.” Of course, I understand fully when I hear people say that – I used to say that – but it got me thinking… If you think about it, in regard to the activities that most of us say we’re “not confident enough” to do, it doesn’t really make sense…
If we were to say “I’m not confident enough to do a presentation at work”, that would fit the definition of confidence IF we didn’t believe that we could present clearly or had the knowledge to share in the first place— which would be the demands of the task. But putting on a bikini or going on a date states no demands. To wear a bikini in public, you just need a body and a bikini. To go on a date, you just need to show up to the date at the time and location and be yourself.
Any other story you’re telling yourself is just that – a story – that you have learned via your upbringing and societal conditioning. And those stories are keeping you from truly living. And the truth is we don’t usually feel confident before we’ve done something anyway— on the contrary, we become confident through the act of doing something. I won’t feel confident in my job, for instance, until I’ve done the job for a while. I won’t feel confident in my driving skills until I’ve spent some time behind the wheel. I might not feel that I have a “good enough” body to wear a bathing suit until I’ve worn a bathing suit a few times (and noticed that I didn’t combust into flames when I did). Waiting to feel “confident enough” to expose yourself in a way that you haven’t in a long time (if ever), is a waiting game that could go on for a while. On the contrary, “feel the fear and do it anyway,” be unconfident when you’re trying something new, and see how your confidence is built through exposure and experience. Body acceptance is the foundation Once you fully accept yourself as you are, flaws and all, body confidence just becomes natural and easy. Have you ever seen a woman in a body not seen as society’s “ideal” just totally oozing confidence and being fully comfortable in her own skin? It’s beautiful isn't it…? Even if you have a judgment about her body, you’re still wishing you could have her confidence and self-assurance right…? When you fully KNOW yourself and ACCEPT yourself exactly as you are, you will experience absolute freedom and liberation. People can judge you for various reasons all they like – and they will – but it won’t hurt you because know who you are and own all of who you are. And that’s freaking powerful. Not only will you be living a free and liberated life for yourself, but you’ll also be giving others permission to be the same. It’s a win-win. So tell me, Queens, when you get up every morning and adjust your crown, what are you going to start doing now that you have been putting off until you felt “confident enough” to do it? It’s time to truly start living! If you’d like help stepping into the most confident version of yourself, I got you! Explore the different ways you can work with me.
Victoria is a Certified Transformational Life Coach specializing in helping high-achieving women to heal their relationship with food & their body. She is a coach, mentor, speaker, and writer; working with women from all around the globe, speaking at worldwide events, and is a writer for Live Love And Eat Magazine. Victoria has lived with eating disorders and body hate for over 20 years. (she was diagnosed with Anorexia Nervosa in her early teens and then Binge Eating Disorder and Bulimia in her early twenties). Through her own personal experiences, education, certification, and countless hours spent on personal development, she holds the skills, knowledge, and empathy to guide and support you to food freedom whilst building a loving relationship with yourself and your body. Victoria has profoundly helped many women around the world to transform their lives and she knows the importance and value of constantly investing in and improving herself in order to serve her clients powerfully. Her goal is to positively impact millions of women from all around the world. https://www.victoriakleinsman.com/ info@victoriakleinsman.com https://www.facebook.com/victoriakleinsman https://www.instagram.com/victoriakleinsman/ Podcast: https://anchor.fm/victoria-kleinsman “Victoria’s Secrets To Health & Happiness” on any podcast platform Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1g1H40rbSQ6Trmcha59kDg
I'll Keep on Being Me Written By Jace Jacobs
Sometimes people are not as cool as you would like them to be. I like to say, "The haters will hate and the lovers will love and I'll keep on being me". I'm sure you've experienced a little adversity in life and on social media as well. In those moments, can you still be the authentic you that You want You to be? Yes, that is a lot of you to process. Let it soak in. Through trial and error, I've embraced who I really am, a high vibe Happy Mindset Poet, who is putting positive energy out into the world and helping others to raise their vibration. It's not everyone's cup of tea though. Despite the adversity, when you look in the mirror, do you see the real you? Do you see the person you want to be? The person you are proud to share with those you love? The love I receive online and in person has been easy to embrace and stay grounded. The hate has been a little more of a challenge. As a mindset expert, I trust my training. I use Mindfulness to understand that each person is on their own particular journey. In some moments, the best they can do is spread a little hate. When that happens, I don't internalize it. I don't dwell on it. I do my best to let it go. With that said, I'm human and every once in a while I have to remind myself of my training. Since you are reading this, chances are you've noticed some happy and unhappy people on social media. In the poem below the emphasis is on being the true you, consistently, regardless if someone is sending you hateful vibes or a bucket of love. Namaste Jace Jacobs Appreciate Everything ~ Love Fully ~ Need Nothing
I’ll Keep On Being Me Wazzuppp social media Check out another poetry rhyme I greatly appreciate Your likes, comments, and time I understand some will dig you And some won’t Some will care about you And you know some just don’t The Sun will rise another day And the stars will fill the sky I’ll choose to model a lighthouse As the happy and drama pass on by So let’s keep on trucking Let’s flex some authenticity Haters will hate and Lovers will Love And I’ll keep on being me Be the You that You want You to be. Much appreciation and love my friend. Sending you vibrations of happiness and harmony. Much appreciation, love, and light.
Meet Jace Jacobs! Jace Jacobs is a Happy Mindset Poet, Performer, and Creator @ jacejacobs.com. Jace is an author and spoken word poetry performer. His Happy Mindset Poetry books are available on Amazon or via jacejacobs.com. Jace enjoys helping cool souls raise their vibrational state so they can experience more confidence and clarity in their life.Appreciate Everything ~ Love Fully ~ Need Nothing#HappyMindsetPoetryVisit the social media links below for video performances of spoken word rhyming happy mindset poetry. https://www.facebook.com/jacewjacobs/ https://www.youtube.com/jacejacobs https://www.instagram.com/jacejacobs https://twitter.com/jacejacobs
What's
COOKING
Valentine Strawberries Ingredients This is a nice idea for spoiling yourself and your Valentine! They are easy, quick and healthy to make! It’s simple, grab a few strawberries, dip them into some vanilla yogurt (Greek yogurt works best as it is thicker), then put them on a sheet pan lined with wax paper and freeze them for a few hours. So easy!
Notes The kids will love helping when it comes to dipping the strawberries and they’ll love it even more when it comes to eating!
Burrito Bowl Ingredients 1 1/4 pounds boneless skinless chicken breasts 1/4 cup olive oil 1/3 cup lime juice 1 teaspoon honey 1 teaspoon kosher salt 1/4 teaspoon ground cumin 2 cloves garlic minced 1/4 cup water 1 1/2 teaspoons smoked paprika 1 teaspoon onion powder 2 teaspoons chili powder
For the cilantro lime rice 3 cups cooked rice brown or white, or you can use quinoa 1/3 cup chopped cilantro leaves the juice of 1 lime salt and pepper to taste
Remaining burrito bowl ingredients Add all ingredients to a food processor or blender and blend until smooth. Refrigerate for at least 2 hours and serve cold. Enjoy!
Directions To prepare the marinade, pour the lime juice, olive oil, and water into a large resealable bag. Add the garlic, honey, salt, cumin, smoked paprika, onion powder, and chili powder. Seal the bag and shake to combine. Add the chicken to the bag of marinade, seal and place in the fridge - marinate for at least 30 minutes or up to 8 hours. Preheat a grill, grill pan, or skillet over medium-high heat. Add the chicken and cook for 56 minutes on each side or until cooked through. Chop the cooked chicken into bite-sized pieces. Place the rice or quinoa in a large bowl; add the cilantro, lime juice, and salt and pepper to taste; toss to coat the rice evenly. Divide the rice between 4 meal prep containers. Arrange the chicken, beans, corn and salsa on top. Cover and store in the refrigerator until ready to heat and serve.
Good Morning is an energizing mix of Peppermint, Clementine, Coriander Seed, Basil, Yuzu, Melissa, Lime, Orange, Rosemary, and Vanilla CO2. As one, this synergy blend can supercharge your day, rev the engine of your ambition or kickstart your aspirations. Whatever it does for you, Good Morning inspires the mind, body, and spirit. edensgarden.com
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Any journey of self-discovery takes courage and vulnerability to begin. Inside this beautifully illustrated self-discovery journal you’ll find the tools and inspiration to help you take the first step. Through thought-provoking writing prompts and creative exercises, you’ll gain meaningful introspection as you explore your identity and emotions; examine your relationships; define your values, passions, and dreams; and embrace your life’s purpose.
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“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart.” – Helen Keller
