The Source: Your Questions Answered

With “tears of joy,” I must say holidays come with a lot of sorrow, but I’m reminded to reflect on all the great memories my mother, father, stepmother, grandmother, and aunt left behind. The process of grief is unexplained. When life ends, and it’s unexpected /sudden, it hits differently. My Dad and Stepmother’s passing was unexpected, and this will be the first holiday without them. I have chosen to make it a grateful day because I do have my life, and I do have other family members that are living. Deborah Powell-Skinner

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face-to-face moments with those we love and care for (whenever possible), and WhatsApp videos. While grieving, one’s community and village connections are everything; never be afraid to use them and ask for help if you need it. Carmelle Marcelin-Chapman

Stay connected through phone conversations with family and friends,

still is) my faith and hope, and my strong and unbreakable relationship with God; I take comfort in knowing that God loves us. In addition, I am a firm believer in staying positive and finding gratitude in every situation. Although it is hard to find gratitude during a pandemic when so many people are dying and suffering around you, I find remembering to appreciate the simple things in life helps. Something like a reassuring smile from a partner or spouse, a pet lying by your hip while working from home, or taking the time to notice your surroundings: including nature, the blessings of everyday life, aging parents who are still alive and healthy, and all the families and friends who are grieving with and praying for us, helps us mentally and spiritually.

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What helped me through my grief and the emotional roller coaster that accompanied the pandemic was (and

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Grief is part of the healing process, and the holidays often increase feelings of pain. The holidays may elicit various emotions, and allowing yourself to have those feelings can be healing over time. Set boundaries and be honest with others if certain activities or traditions are too overwhelming. Most importantly, ask for help if you are struggling around the holidays. Share your feelings with someone you trust so that you have support available when needed. Nicole Sorrells, MSN, PMHNP-BC

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How do you get through the sadness of having so many relatives that have passed on and are no longer here during the holidays? L.S. Wellington

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The Source asks YOUR questions to 3 experts: one professional, one community expert (i.e. spiritual leader), and one with lived experience. To ask a question, or to contribute as an expert, email thewell@bewellpbc.org with “The Source” in the subject line.

Carmelle Marcelin Chapman Carmelle Marcelin Chapman is a longtime Community Change Expert in the Lake Worth Beach area and Project Director for Healthier Lake Worth Beach. Not only has she experienced personal losses, but she has also supported many members of her community with their own losses of family members and friends. www.healthiertogetherpbc.org

Deborah Powell-Skinner Deborah Powell- Skinner has been an employee with the DOH/ Florida Health for 25 years. She is a wife of 18 years, has four loving children and eight adorable grandchildren. In her spare time, Deborah loves creating life moments in home décor, events, gift-giving, etc., through her company Pneuma. She has a servant’s heart and serves as Minister Deb with her local Church Word Of Faith. In addition, she has served on the local board with Community Voice as a Master Lay Health Advisor and her local Union team AFSCME Florida as President.

Nicole Sorrells Nicole Sorrells, MSN, PMHNP-BC, is a psychiatric mental health nurse practitioner specializing in geriatric psychiatry within skilled nursing facilities throughout Palm Beach and Broward County. She is a 3rd generation Palm Beach County resident with more than 16 years of nursing experience and over eight years of experience in mental health care.

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I would never feel disappointed about not having cash for giving gifts at the holiday time. I usually discuss with my immediate family members how I celebrate the holiday time, and yes, I have great-grands. My grandchildren receive the true meaning of the holiday season and my beliefs into why I celebrate the way I do, and they understand. But I never disrespect how they are celebrated with their parents during the holiday season. Deborah Powell-Skinner

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The past couple of years have been especially difficult for many people, and additional financial stress can make the holidays less enjoyable. Understand and acknowledge that it is out of your control, and you are not alone. Many people are facing similar financial challenges this year. Celebrating the holidays by being present rather than buying presents can bring a new appreciation for many families. Handmade gifts, cooking a meal, or enjoying a holiday activity can be great alternatives to traditional gift-giving. Nicole Sorrells, MSN, PMHNPBC

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How do you handle the disappointment of not being able to afford gifts to give? D.N.- Lake Worth

Family conflict can be especially difficult to deal with during the holidays. Know that you are not alone, and family conflicts are common. The stigma of not being close with family members can bring up feelings of guilt or shame. Often, the limits you have set in these relationships get blurred around the holidays. It is important to set boundaries and recognize that it is okay to say no if certain events bring up too many painful memories or feelings. Nicole Sorrells, MSN, PMHNP-BC

Usually, I show and spread love, so when my family chooses to be in conflict, a choice they have made as an adult, I act accordingly and give respect at all costs. Deborah Powell-Skinner

How do you deal with estranged family members at holiday gatherings? How do you avoid conflict? R.G., Riviera

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