W ELLN ES S
OVERCOMING S E L F - G U I LT How to manage self-guilt when it comes to getting an aesthetic treatment and finally do something for yourself
The world is changing. With the introduction of social media, previously hush-hush conversations are being had, unchallenged social norms are being brought to the forefront of society, and difference and diversity is being celebrated like never before. Why then, are we, and in particular women, still feeling guilty about a little bit of filler here, or the odd bit of botulinum toxin there? Beauty Uncovered spoke with Dr Mayoni Gooneratne about the types of self-guilt, the causes and the potential solutions.
The shocking truth “In a recent survey at my clinic,” says Dr Gooneratne, “83% of our patients hadn’t told their friends or family that they were receiving aesthetic treatments.” In a society that wants women to be beautiful yet effortless and natural, financially self-sufficient Dr Mayoni Gooneratne, yet a modest spender, confident aesthetic practitioner, yet flawed, Dr Gooneratne finds The Clinic, London IG: @skinfit.drmayoni that the key reasons people don’t want to reveal they’ve sought out an aesthetic tweakment include: feeling guilty for being frivolous with money and spending it on themselves, worrying that other people will think they’re vain or unintelligent, and manufactured societal pressures and ideas. She says, “All these concerns are valid things to bring up in a consultation with your practitioner, so write a list and bring this with you so you can get everything out in the open.”
83% of our patients hadn't told their friends or family that they were receiving aesthetic treatments 44
beautyuncovered.com
Financial worries A 2020 report by leading gender equality charity the Fawcett Society in partnership with Starling Bank found that shockingly, women living in couples with a male partner are almost twice as likely than men to feel guilty (37% vs 21%) when purchasing something for themselves. Even more worryingly, the findings support research undertaken as part of Starling Bank’s Make Money Equal campaign which looked at the way the media talks about women, and found that 65% of articles define women as excessive spenders, advising them to limit shopping ‘splurges’, save small sums or depend on financial support. “People tend to have the most guilt about personal finances and how much they spend on themselves,” notes Dr Gooneratne, “People don’t mind spending money on their children, partners, or even friends, but spending it on themselves triggers guilt.” This kind of financial guilt can be exacerbated if the thing we have bought ourselves is classed as ‘non-essential’ either by society or in the grand scheme of things, a ‘want’ for example rather than a ‘need’. What you can do: “We know these treatments can be expensive,” says Dr Gooneratne, “But we also don’t want finances to be a barrier to improving your confidence. At my clinic we offer flexible payment plans, and bespoke schemes tailored to the patient. You deserve to spend money on yourself and in the long run, the right aesthetic treatment can end up costing you less than another decade of buying basic and ineffective skincare. Don’t be embarrassed to discuss any financial worries with your practitioner and we will try our hardest to accommodate your needs, as our main goal here is to get you feeling your best – you deserve it!”
Cultural guilt “Injectable treatments are not often spoken about by people of skin of colour and it’s complicated,” says Dr Gooneratne, “A longstanding obsession with western or Caucasian beauty ideals has led people with skin of colour to focus on celebrating their natural beauty, and therefore the idea of using toxin and fillers to change your non-white features is considered by some as an antiquated betrayal of culture.” The aesthetics and beauty industries have been Caucasian-
