MARC MURPHY
A FAITH-FULL CONVERSATION WITH THE REV. DR. LAUREN JONES MAYFIELD
BY KEVIN MURPHY WILSON
The Center for Interfaith Relations recently welcomed the Rev. Dr. Lauren Jones Mayfield as its new executive director, following the long and successful tenure of Sarah Riggs Reed. Mayfield brings a wealth of experience in the areas of pastoral leadership and social justice, as well as a deep commitment to fostering interfaith dialogue and strengthening communities through common action. We recently caught up with her for a quick look backwards and forwards.
LEO: Can you tell us a little bit about your background, education, and early theological influences?
Lauren Jones Mayfield: “I grew up in a Christian family going to church several times a week. It was a rhythm that built not only my beliefs about God and people but also formed my social life and sense of Self. Graduating from a conservative Baptist undergrad institution and then attending an evangelical seminary, I did not meet a God that spoke to the realities of life outside of a fundamentalist Church. The folks I met at the attorney’s office I worked for in New Haven, Connecticut, who were applicants for Social Security Disability Benefits, challenged the privileges of my upbringing in an educated, mostly white suburb just outside Cincinnati. I’m thankful that throughout my early years as a Christian, I was always able to question the work of God in the world. To challenge the cliché answers to deep theological musings. And to express my dissatisfaction with a God who did not care for the poor. I’m thankful for my doctorate from the Pacific School of Religion, a progressive institution that leans into the art of ‘faith-full’ exploration with bravery and solidarity.”
LEO: What drew you to the CIR?
Lauren Jones Mayfield: “CIR’s work of celebrating many faiths while uniting us in our one heart of compassion as we seek to engage common action in our communities inspires so many. CIR is a voice in Louisville, Kentucky, and well beyond that speaks prophetically about hospitality and inclusion. It brings religion out of the confines of the academy or isolated places of worship and onto the street corners to be a voice of imagination and hope for each of us, all of us. CIR’s unabashed commitment to preserving dignity and celebrating
difference has the potential to revolutionize our city and even the country. I want to be a part of the revolution. I want to always be inviting others to join the work of revolution. CIR offers us a platform for this transforming work.”
LEO: Do you think your new role here creates more freedom for exploration and collaboration for you than other places might?
Lauren Jones Mayfield: “I absolutely have
more freedom and room to explore and collaborate through my involvement at CIR than in former places of service. It is not an exception to partner with and listen to and learn from different voices, it is expected; it is the starting point, and it forms the fulcrum from which we engage our community. Further, when there is a voice at the metaphorical table that misuses power or denigrates our neighbors with less social power, I see CIR as an organization
that works to humble power, create opportunities for brave exploration, and heal ourselves so that we can keep at the important work of justice and love.”
LEO: Why do you think public gatherings like the Festival of Faiths are important in this day and age?
Lauren Jones Mayfield: “Public gatherings like the FoF remind us of our common heart while celebrating our differences. It’s in our unique perspectives and experiences that we find commonalities and fuel for greater compassion for our earth, neighbors, and selves. Often, I hear folks express skepticism about the word ‘faith,’ as if that word could ever speak authentically to their contemporary experiences. Time and again, what the Festival inspires is an opportunity for people of faith and no faith, skeptics and devout souls alike, to find their place in the larger web of humanity. Prophetic and public gatherings, like the FoF, challenge our preconceived ideas and fears through movement making, introspection and mindfulness, and the sharing of ideas that, again, provoke us toward a more holistic, compassionate version of ourselves and our neighbors.
LEO: The world seems stranger than ever. What are your hopes for the future?
Lauren Jones Mayfield: “My hope for the future is that amid our divisions we might find creative ways to continue wondering about one another. When it is unsafe for someone to listen alone in the presence of hate or dissent, may those with privilege stand in to do the listening. Like Sikh activist Valerie Kaur says in her book See No Stranger, ‘Listening does not grant the other side legitimacy. It grants them humanity and preserves our own.’ How do we bravely listen to one another in a way that inspires small and tangible acts of resistance to the systems of bigotry and hate? How do we keep trusting that each individual revelation will swell into a reformation of heart, soul, mind, and body for our collective thriving and liberation? I want to be part of exploring the answers to these and similar questions. CIR is such a platform for discovery, practice, and prophetic leadership.”
Courtesy photo
WEDNESDAY, JAN. 24
That Arena Rock Show
Mercury Ballroom | 611 S. 4th St. | thatarenarockshow.com | $25+ | 8 p.m.
Relive the glory days of arena rock with this electrifying tribute show featuring the greatest hits of the ’70s and ’80s. Complete with powerful vocals, epic guitar solos, and authentic stage effects, this performance is a must for rock enthusiasts.
-Caleb Stultz
SATURDAY, FEB. 1
Paula Poundstone Comedy Tour
Bomhard Theater | 501 W. Main St. | paulapoundstone.com/tour | $41+ | 8 p.m.
Experience the comedic genius of Paula Poundstone, best known for her podcast, Nobody Listens to Paula Poundstone, and her regular appearances on NPR’s Wait Wait… Don’t Tell Me. Kick off your February and “Be a Nobody” with a night full of great laughs, and don’t forget to bring your friends.
-Ezra Knapp
WEDNESDAY, JAN. 24
Candlelight: Tribute to Coldplay
Actors Theatre of Louisville - Pamela Brown
Auditorium | 316 W. Main St. | feverup.com | $31.80 | 8:45 p.m.
Immerse yourself in an intimate evening of Coldplay’s iconic hits performed by a talented string quartet under the glow of candlelight. This unique experience combines music and ambiance for a memorable night.
-Caleb Stultz
SATURDAY, FEB. 1
Lunar New Year Dinner and Auction
The Speed Art Museum | 2035 S. Third St. | one. bidpal.net/snake2025 | $298 | 5:30-10 p.m.
Celebrate the Year of the Snake with a silent auction followed by a delicious Asian-inspired five-meal course dinner curated by local chefs as a tribute to Chef Peng S. Looi, a longtime supporter of Asia Institute — Crane House. The fantastic lineup of local chefs include Vanessa Felix, Aileen Brua, Nokee Bucayu, and Ming Pu, led by James Moran.
-Ezra Knapp
THURSDAY, JAN. 25
DRUMline Live
Brown Theatre | 315 W. Broadway | kentuckyperformingarts.org | $35+ | 8 p.m.
Feel the rhythm and energy of this high-octane performance celebrating the spirit of historically Black college and university marching bands. With dynamic beats and show-stopping choreography, DRUMline Live promises an unforgettable evening.
-Caleb Stultz
MONDAY, FEB. 3
And Back to Talk About It
Kentucky Author Forum at Bomhard Theater | kentuckyperformingarts.org | 502-584-7777 | $35 (Dinner also available) | Interview at 6 p.m.
Renowned author Sebastian Junger is, indeed, back. He’s written about how he’s back from the borderland to whatever is beyond us all. His new book, In My Time of Dying, recounts his near-death experience involving a medical catastrophe, split-second good fortune, and unexplained phenomena.
-T.E. Lyons
EAT, DRINK
STAFF PICKS
LONDON KENTUCKY POLICE SHOOT AND KILL THE WRONG MAN OVER A JUDGE’S WEED EATER
With suspended body camera use, there has been a lack of evidence related to the case.
BY CALEB STULTZ
On the night of December 23, a police operation intended to recover stolen lawn equipment ended with the death of 63-year-old Douglas Harless at his home on Vanzant Road in Laurel County. Harless was shot and killed by an officer of the London Police Department during a search warrant execution that, according to dispatch logs, may have been served at the wrong address.
The case has raised serious concerns about procedural errors, law enforcement tactics, and the lack of use of body cameras by London police officers.
Who stole the weed eater?
The chain of events began earlier that day when 49-year-old Hobert Buttery was arrested in Manchester on charges of theft. Police say Buttery confessed to stealing a weed eater and a heater from a property owned by Laurel County Judge-Executive David Westerfield. The items had been stored in Westerfield’s garage for a tenant. Buttery claimed he had planned to deliver the stolen items to a residence in Lily, an unincorporated area of Laurel County.
“I just don’t understand why it went to this,” Buttery said on WDRB News. “I mean how did it lead to this? I know that’s what everyone else is asking too.”
Investigators obtained a warrant to search a residence on Vanzant Road for the stolen equipment. According to official records obtained by LEX 18, officers intended to search 489 Vanzant Road, the address Buttery had allegedly provided. However, police arrived at 511 Vanzant Road — Harless’s home — about 250 feet away from their intended target. Harless, who lived alone, became the unknowing focus of the operation.
According to a sworn affidavit from Kentucky State Police (KSP) Detective James Royal, officers knocked on Harless’s door around 11:48 p.m., announcing their presence as law enforcement. Harless reportedly acknowledged them but did not open the door. After several minutes of knocking and receiving no response, officers forcibly breached the front door. Once inside, officers encountered Harless, who was reportedly armed with a handgun. According to the affidavit, Harless raised the weapon in the direction
of officers, prompting one officer to fire multiple rounds from a patrol rifle. Harless was pronounced dead at the scene.
Evidence collected by KSP includes five spent .223 shell casings, Harless’s Taurus nine-millimeter handgun, a handgun holster, and surveillance equipment. Investigators also obtained security footage from a nearby residence, which reportedly captured events leading up to the shooting. Dispatch records revealed a significant discrepancy: officers had called for assistance to 489 Vanzant Road multiple times on the night of the shooting, but Harless lived at 511 Vanzant Road. This error has led to widespread speculation that Harless’s death could have been avoided if officers had verified the address before breaching the home.
The lack of body cameras that could have served as evidence for KSP’s investigation
The London Police Department suspended the use of body-worn cameras in March 2023. The department cited aging equipment, high replacement costs, and storage issues as reasons for the suspension. This decision has come under intense scrutiny, as the absence of body camera footage has left investigators and the public relying on third-party surveillance and officer testimony to reconstruct the events.
Local community outrage over Harless’ death
The death of Douglas Harless has sparked outrage and grief throughout Laurel County. Harless’s family, friends, and neighbors
describe him as a kind and private man who likely feared for his safety when confronted by a group of officers forcing their way into his home late at night.
“He worked for a living, went home, loved his family,” said Doris Lawson, a friend of Harless for 15 years in an interview with WKYT during a protest. His daughter was his world, and she’s a daddy’s girl, and this has shattered her world and my grandson’s.”
Local leaders have also weighed in. JudgeExecutive David Westerfield expressed sorrow over the incident, clarifying that the stolen items did not belong to him but to a tenant.
London Mayor Randall Weddle issued a statement urging patience and caution as the investigation unfolds.
Here is his full Facebook post:
“Undoubtedly, our community seeks answers, and I want to assure everyone that answers will be provided in due time. However, it is essential that we allow the Kentucky State Police to complete their investigation without interference. Since the beginning, my office has maintained a commitment to not interfering with this process, and we will continue to honor that commitment.
“I am deeply disheartened by those who are using this situation for political gain. This is not the time for politics but for patience and unity. In this country, we are innocent until proven guilty a principle we must uphold.
“The rumors and speculation circulating on social media are not facts. Assuming or spreading misinformation does not serve justice or our community. I urge everyone to refrain from jumping to conclusions and to wait for the facts of this case to emerge.
“We will stand together as a community, grounded in truth, and we will let justice take its proper course. Thank you for your understanding and cooperation.”
According to a Facebook post by London police, the officer who shot and killed Harless has been placed on “administrative leave” while KSP continues its investigation over the killing, with evidence from the scene under review, including surveillance footage from Harless’s light bulb camera and a nearby residence.
LOUISVILLE HOMETOWN HEROES HONORS SEVEN NEW ENTRIES FOR 2025
BY CALEB STULTZ
The Greater Louisville Pride Foundation has released its 2025 Hometown Heroes class, including some legendary names in sports and the arts.
As of now, there are no specific details as to when and where the banners will be placed around Louisville, but the names will live on in fame nonetheless.
1. Teddy Abrams
Grammy-Winning Conductor
Louisville Orchestra
Teddy Abrams became the Music Director of the Louisville Orchestra in 2014 at just 27 years old, and his tenure has been marked by numerous accolades. He earned a Grammy in 2024 and was honored as Musical America’s Conductor of the Year in 2022.
2. Ken Clay
Lifetime Achievement in the Arts
Louisville Arts Community
Ken Clay has been a prominent leader in Louisville’s arts community, holding key roles in several arts organizations, including a 21-year tenure as Vice President of Programming at the Kentucky Center for the Arts. His contributions earned him a Lifetime Achievement Award from the Fund for the Arts. Clay is also the co-author of Two Centuries of Black Louisville: A Photographic History
3. Will Smith
Two-Time World Series Champion
Los Angeles Dodgers
Will Smith, a former Louisville Cardinal,
has achieved remarkable success as the starting catcher for the Los Angeles Dodgers, winning two World Series championships and earning two All-Star selections. In the spring of 2023, he represented the United States in the World Baseball Classic. Before his college career, Smith attended Kentucky Country Day School.
4. Nicole Scherzinger
International Music Icon
From Pussycat Dolls to Broadway
Nicole Scherzinger, a duPont Manual alum, rose to fame as a member of the pop group the Pussycat Dolls from 2003 to 2010, with the group’s two albums selling 55 million copies worldwide. Since then,
she has served as a panelist on The Masked Singer, starred in award-winning Broadway productions, and lent her voice to a character in Disney’s Moana
5. Oksana Masters
19-Time Paralympic Medalist Multi-Sport Athlete
Oksana Masters added to her legacy last summer in Paris, winning her 19th Paralympic medal — one of nine golds she has earned during a 12-year career spanning seven Paralympic Games. Born in Ukraine and raised in Derby City, this multi-sport athlete has excelled in cycling and rowing during the summer games and cross-country skiing in the winter games.
6. Dr. Kevin Cosby
President of Simmons College
Louisville’s Only HBCU
Since 2005, Dr. Kevin Cosby has served as the 13th President of Simmons College, playing a pivotal role in securing accreditation for the 146-year-old institution through the Association of Biblical Higher Educwation. In 2015, under his leadership, Simmons achieved recognition from the U.S. Department of Education as the 107th Historically Black College or University (HBCU) and Louisville’s only HBCU. Additionally, Cosby has dedicated 45 years as the pastor of St. Stephen Church.
7. Jimmy Ellis
World Heavyweight Champion
Louisville Boxing Legend
Louisville isn’t only known for Muhammad Ali. The late boxer Jimmy Ellis, who passed away in 2014, started as Ali’s sparring partner before making his own mark as a world champion, holding the WBA Heavyweight title from 1968 to 1970. Ellis was inducted into the Kentucky Athletic Hall of Fame in 1989 and the World Boxing Hall of Fame in 2004. Following his boxing career, he contributed to his community by organizing athletic programs for the Louisville Metro Parks Department. (From left, clockwise): Oksana Masters
LEO MUSIC WRITER JEFF POLK’S
FEATURING: DEADY, ROUTINE CAFFEINE, DEWEY KINCADE, BAD WIRES, AND MORE
o my assignment was to come up with my ten favorite local songs of 2024. An easy enough task, or so you’d think, but that’s not how my brain works. So I turned what should have been a quick and fun task into a complex, overwhelming job by overthinking it each and every step of the way. For starters, I decided to exclude bands and artists from outside of the greater Louisville area. Lexington in particular has some incredible music happening, but it’s at least 50 miles past what I’d consider local. Then I decided to exclude Louisville artists who are already successful in favor of smaller, lesser-known artists. So yes, Jack Harlow, My Morning Jacket, Knocked Loose, and Ben Sollee should all be on here, but aren’t for that reason. Next, I went through and re-read all of my reviews and listened to tons of music from artists that I had reviewed and many I haven’t. The list I came up with afterwards consisted of well over 40 bands/artists and songs, each of which I could give a persuasive argument as to why they deserve to be on this list. From there I slowly and painfully whittled them down to twelve songs… for a ten-song list. But I can’t bring myself to cut any of these. Keep in mind I’m not saying these are the best local songs of 2024. Best is very subjective. These are simply my personal favorite
songs of the year. Each of these twelve songs spoke to me for different reasons and stood out from the crowd.
One thing I can say for certain is that the level of great music coming out of Louisville these days is absolutely unprecedented and astounding. And regardless if your favorite artist or band made this list or not, I hope they all continue to create incredible music in 2025, and for years to come.
This list is sorted alphabetically by band/ artist last name and is not ranked in any particular order.
Bad Wires Kaleidoscope Eyes
After a disappointing 2023 that saw several setbacks for the band, Bad Wires came roaring back in 2024 in a big way with new drummer Andy Cook, some high-profile gigs, and most importantly two new tracks. The first of those tracks, “Kaleidoscope Eyes,” is about unrequited love from someone experiencing a psychotic break, and it is an absolute beast of a song. A mix of metal, punk, thrash, noise rock, hardcore and post-hardcore, Bad Wires really create their own genre here, then proceed to beat you over the head with it. This song is a burner from the get-go, and you can’t help but get caught up in the chaotic whirlwind of riffs. badwires.bandcamp.com
Deady R.I.P.
From the first moment I heard this track, there was no doubt it was going on this list. Arguably Deady’s most explosive song yet, “R.I.P.” is one of those tunes where once it ends, you pick your jaw up off the floor and say “Holy shit! What the fuck just happened?” and you immediately listen to it again to try and process everything. Clocking in at only 2:19, this is an all-too-short powerhouse of a tune that mixes Deady’s fun, quirky punk sound with a harder, thrashier edge, even going as far as to include blast beats at the end just to drive it home. “R.I.P.” shows the band in top form and, dare I say, cements Deady’s place among Louisville’s most legendary punk and hardcore bands.
linktr.ee/deady183
FALL Pale
FALL packs more power, fury, and honest aggression into this quick 58-second song than most bands do in their entire existence. No time for build-ups or easing the listener in, this song immediately pummels you with every ounce of energy that is in these four guys. Pure, unrelenting, true hardcore that is equal parts melodic and chaotic, but played with absolute precision by top-notch musicians. Michael Spalione is simply
one of the best hardcore vocalists in the genre, screaming lyrics which are critical of so-called Christians using religion as a reason to justify violence (at least that’s my take on it). Bottom line, FALL truly is a force to be reckoned with. fall.bandcamp.com
FuriousFloyd
Uncanny Valley
There is a lot of great rap/hip-hop coming out of Louisville, but FuriousFloyd just may be at the top of it all. Floyd’s incredible full-length album
The Invincible Spit Kicker 3 is easily one of the best local records of 2024. His lyrics are honest, sharp, pointed, and laden with deep messages which are driven home by Floyd’s powerful, raw, and authentic flow. Nowhere is this better represented than with “Uncanny Valley,” a hard-hitting song about living amongst frequent gun violence. He’s still giving this record away for free through his label’s website, so you have no excuse not to be listening.
bkr8v.com/music/the-invincible-spit-kicker-3
Godawfuls
Diggin’ A Hole
Fuck knows I love me some good old fashioned down-and-dirty, bourbon-soaked, southern-fried, bluesy, old-school punk rock
’n’ roll, and the Godawfuls bring it in spades. Although their latest five-song EP Half Hot and Bothered is chock-full of great songs, it’s this raw, rude, raucous, catchy-as-fuck tune about living for the moment but knowing full well you’re fucking up your life that lives in my head rent-free. Seriously, the chorus won’t leave my brain, nor do I want it to. This is like a party anthem for an out of control biker bar in the shittiest part of town. It’s the sound of the Ramones, Black Flag, Nine Pound Hammer, and Chuck Berry all jamming together. For a band called Godawfuls, they’re actually really fucking good!
linktr.ee/godawfuls
Grackle
My Disaster
I had high expectations for Grackle’s first album in over five years, but I didn’t expect what they delivered. The band’s songwriting skills have grown tremendously. They have always had a piano-driven classic rock kind of sound with orchestral leanings, but the songs on their latest album, All That Matters, are downright epic. “My Disaster” kicks off the album in grand scale with a sweeping orchestral arrangement set to a classic and modern rock feel that brings to mind greats like Queen, Styx, King Crimson, and Emerson, Lake & Palmer mixed with the brooding
darkness of Tool. The musicianship and songwriting here are incredible. Quite simply, “My Disaster” is a stunning piece amongst a collection of stunning pieces. grackleband.com
Hannan
Get High
No local band has ever impressed me on the level that Hannan did at the release show for their album Last Disguise. The talent, visuals, and stage presence I saw that night from Hannan was every bit on par with that of any major label band who’ve been touring arenas for years. The music video for this album opener was shot during the band’s set at the 2024 Inkcarceration Festival in Ohio and gives a great introduction as to what to expect from these guys. It’s a hard-hitting, burner of a modern rock song that is as professional in all aspects of writing and musicianship as it gets, local or otherwise. They’re not rock stars (yet), but they sure as fuck deserve to be. hannanmusic.us
Dewey Kincade
Hallelujah Holiday
Narrowing down the 15 tracks that make up Dewey Kincade’s latest album The Heights
Hot Chili Peppers tune, but even that doesn’t do it justice. Trust me, you just need to hear this one!
pakg.world
Quiet Confidence What Do You Say?
I’ve never been able to listen to this song without getting goosebumps. Much like Coldplay’s “Fix You,” this is a perfectly crafted and executed pop/alt-rock song built around an expansive crescendo that begins softly and gradually swells the music by adding in instruments until the huge, explosive peak, then brings it back down again at the end. Lyrically the song is asking a two-part question: what do you say when the world is broken and hurting, while simultaneously asking what do you say we enjoy our time together and forget about all the negative things for a while? Ryan Lane is at the top of his game here!
linktr.ee/quiet.confidence
Routine Caffeine In The End Now
to just one song to feature in this list is no easy task. This is about a solid of an album as you’ll ever hear. But ultimately it’s the album’s first track, “Hallelujah Holiday,” that I keep coming back to — a bouncy, upbeat stomper of a tune in which Kincade reminisces lyrically about a love lost while perfectly melding elements of Americana, bluesy rock, folk, and bluegrass with a sound that lies somewhere between Bob Dylan and The Black Crows. Kincade absolutely knocks it out of the park once again. This is Louisville music at its finest. deweykincade.com
Producing a Kind Generation
Do Androids Dream?
I’ve often called them Louisville’s most underrated band, so it should come as no surprise that PAKG makes my list for the second year in a row. And with their latest single “Do Androids Dream?” garnering over 11,400 streams on Spotfy in four months, obviously people are finally taking note of this incredible band. Hands down one of their best tracks to date, “Do Androids Dream?” is a deep, lyrically contemplative bluesy alt-rock track rich with soulful vocals, catchy guitardriven hooks, a smooth, funky bassline, and in-the-pocket drumming and keys. My best comparison would be if Prince wrote a Red
Beautiful, mesmerizing, relaxing, sweet, haunting, and vividly colorful while maintaining a certain darkness, “In The End Now” embraces you like a warm hug and pulls you into an amazing soundscape that you can’t help but lose yourself in and float blissfully along with. Katie Kelley’s enchanting vocals take center stage while her smooth, soft guitar melody paired with Madison Case’s controlled walking bass lines and Emma Treganowan’s subdued jazzy drum beats create the perfect atmosphere around the lyrics, which are about telling someone how you feel even though you know it might result in the end of the relationship. Anne Gauthier’s production shines here, giving the vocals and instruments each rich, warm, expansive tones that seem to fill the room. No one does dreampop better than Routine Caffeine.
routinecaffeineband.com
Shitfire Am I
Shitfire has come a long way in a few short years. They went from being a loud, brash, thrashy punk rock band into being… a loud, brash, thrashy punk band, albeit one that can write intricate songs with odd but catchy song structures though. Their latest single, “Am I,” is a perfect example of that. This track sounds like what I believe Evergreen in their prime, (Go Cart Ride era, I refuse any argument saying otherwise), would sound like if they wrote a song for The Gits. It’s a little bit strange, but insanely catchy and powerful. If this and their previous single “Toxic” are any indication, I’d say the best is yet to come from Shitfire.
LOUISVILLE NATIVE IAN JOHNSON OF ARRESTED YOUTH OVERCOMES TRAUMATIC BRAIN SURGERY WITH NEW ALBUM AND NEWFOUND ARTISTIC AUTHENTICITY
“For me, this album is not just a collection of songs – it’s a testament to the resilience of the human spirit.”
BY: JEFF POLK
In 2021, Louisville native/Los Angeles-based artist Ian Johnson’s music career was on fire. As the frontman for his alt-rock/pop punk/ hip-hop musical project Arrested Youth, Johnson had already amassed hundreds of millions of streams on Spotify and other streaming platforms, had received worldwide radio play and features in some of music’s biggest magazines, and had toured the world as a headliner and as an opening act for the likes of Twenty One Pilots, Yungblud, and The Mowgli’s. Indeed, he was well on his way to becoming a superstar. Then it all came to a screeching halt when, in 2021, Johnson received a life-altering diagnosis of Chiari Malformation Type I.
But let’s start at the beginning. Growing up in Louisville, Johnson had been heavily influenced by genre-blending artists like The Red Hot Chili Peppers, Sugar Ray, and Kid Cudi. He began writing lyrics at the age of 15 and went on to release a series of mixtapes and eventually an EP that made the iTunes Top 25 pop charts.
After graduating Manual High School, selfdoubt led Johnson to take a break from music and attend Indiana University. Triple majoring in business, he graduated in 2016 and entered the workforce. However, it quickly became apparent that he had chosen the wrong career path. “I had always had a deep love for songwriting, which drew me back to music. I was able to express myself in a way that no other outlet allowed, and that feeling was so special to me. So the decision to leave the corporate world to become an artist felt like a personal necessity more than a dream or a career path,” said Johnson.
In the following years, Johnson moved to Los Angeles and began refining his sound into what would become his unique mix of alt-rock, pop punk, and hip-hop with lyrics focusing on his perspective of his own mental health struggles and the challenges of living in the 21st century. In the process, Arrested Youth released four singles, a full-length album titled Fear, and the EP Sobville (Episode 1). During the height of the COVID pandemic, Johnson collaborated directly with his fans to create Arrested Youth & The Quarantiners, an EP in which the lyrics were written by fans along with Johnson in real time during live Instagram chats.
By the time Arrested Youth’s 2021 album Nonfiction was released, Johnson had already reached a level of stardom he’d never dreamed of and, by all outward accounts, had the world in his hands. Yet internally, things were far from OK — both figuratively and literally. “I was grappling with deep-rooted artistic doubt,” said Johnson. “I believed in the message of my music and felt a strong connection to my fans. Yet, I felt like the music I was making fell short of my artistic expectations.” Regarding the then recently-finished album Nonfiction, Johnson went on to say: “I couldn’t shake the feeling that it lacked the integrity I had hoped for.”
It was during this time that Johnson’s struggle also became physical. What had begun as neck discomfort gradually worsened into all-consuming pain. “This pain wasn’t just physical — it was a constant presence, overshadowing all aspects of my life,” said Johnson. Not want to lose the momentum he had worked so hard to build, Johnson headed out on tour to promote Nonfiction. However, while on tour, the physical pain became too much to bear, resulting in Johnson getting an MRI that would reveal his diagnosis and change his life.
“I learned I had a rare brain condition — a Chiari Malformation Type I. The base of my brain was herniating through my spinal canal, causing immense pressure and pain. The only remedy
was surgery. So, I stopped touring and began preparing to face the many uncertainties of a brain and spinal operation.”
Johnson underwent the surgery in the winter of 2021, which left him in bad physical shape; brain swelling led to blackout migraines, which led to more ER visits. “Physical pain was certainly the hardest aspect [of recovery], and I was in a lot of it after the surgery,” Johnson told LEO Weekly. But with the help of his parents, (who had since moved from Louisville to upstate New York, and with whom Johnson stayed with during his recovery), Johnson began the slow healing process.
It was during his recovery that Johnson emerged with a new vision for Arrested Youth; one that was a true artistic expression of himself, rather than what he thought the fans and music industry wanted from him. And over the course of the year following the surgery, Johnson refocused himself as a songwriter and musician and began creating songs that he felt evolved his sound in an authentic way. Said Johnson: “I was on a mission to make a great album and redeem myself as an artist.”
In 2023, Johnson moved back to Los Angeles and began working with producer Mike Green (Paramore, Gwen Stefani, Neon Trees, Sum 41) to record what would become his latest album, Too Late To Start Over. Released in September
2024, Too Late To Start Over marks a new era for Arrested Youth. The tracks are much more focused than those of his past releases. Gone are the angsty lyrics of his previous records, replaced with meaningful, hope-filled words of facing and overcoming our internal and external struggles and life’s uncertainties. Along with this, the music has matured as well. Throughout Too Late To Start Over, influences of indie rock, alt-rock, and even folk take a greater role in his sound, bringing to mind bands such as The Killers, Arctic Monkeys, Cage The Elephant, and Glass Animals.
Regarding Too Late To Start Over, Johnson said: “For me, this album is not just a collection of songs — it’s a testament to the resilience of the human spirit.” He went on to say: “This album chronicles my life over the past few years, and I hope my story serves as a source of strength for others.”
With album singles “Little Cup,” “Walked Out in the Middle of the Night,” and “Free Now” having already raked up over a combined 1.5 million streams on Spotify within just the past six months, Too Late To Start Over is connecting with Arrested Youth fans both old and new in a big way.
When asked if there was ever a point during his recovery that he thought making music was over for him, Johnson told LEO Weekly: “I never doubted if I’d return to music after the surgery, but I definitely doubted whether or not I’d have the same energy that I used to have. And that was a valid worry, because since returning to music I have certainly not had the same wherewithal. It’s been a slow, arduous process to gain back my momentum and fortitude as an artist. In many ways, I still haven’t fully recuperated. But I knew it wouldn’t be easy, so I’m taking it day-by-day.”
And when asked about upcoming plans, Johnson had this to say: “2025 will bring some exciting touring news, but nothing I can speak to just yet.” Stay tuned, as it appears the best is yet to come for Ian Johnson and Arrested Youth.
Too Late To Start Over is available now on all streaming platforms. For more information, check out Arrested Youth’s website at: arrestedyouth.com
Courtesy photo
THE GITS’ MATT DRESDNER AND ANDY KESSLER TALK
MIA ZAPATA, SUB POP REISSUES, AND HOW
THEY LEARNED TO PRONOUNCE ‘LOUISVILLE’
The Seattle-based punk band was poised for stardom when tragedy brought them to an abrupt end.
BY JEFF POLK
There is no doubt in my mind that we would have a Hometown Heroes banner reading “Mia’s Louisville” hanging up prominently in the city right now if Mia Zapata’s story did not have such a tragic, early ending.
As a vocalist, Mia’s voice was lightning in a bottle; possessing the bluesy raspiness of Janis Joplin, the soulfulness of Billie Holliday, the ferociousness of Joan Jett, the power of Stevie Nicks, and the poise of Patti Smith, she had the kind of voice that is perfectly suited for any type of music. Born and raised in Louisville, Zapata, along with guitarist Andy Kessler (aka Joe Spleen), bassist Matt Dresdner, and drummer Steve Moriarty, formed The Gits in 1986 while attending Antioch College in Ohio.
The band relocated to Seattle in 1989 and released their debut album Frenching The Bully in 1992, which garnered immense praise and attention — including that of Atlantic Records, with whom the band was set to sign with. The move would have no doubt skyrocketed The Gits to heights comparable to that of Seattle alums Nirvana, Pearl Jam, and Soundgarden. But that never happened.
In the early morning hours of July 7, 1993, Mia Zapata was raped and murdered. She was laid to rest here in Louisville at Cave Hill Cemetery. It would be another decade before DNA evidence was able to positively ID her murderer, who later died in prison.
In the years following Mia’s death, the band found the strength to finish and release the album they had been working on at the time of her death, Enter: The Conquering Chicken. They also released a collection of 1988 recordings titled Kings & Queens, and a compilation of live, unreleased, and alternate takes titled Seafish Louisville
And now, 31 years later, Mia’s voice and the music of The Gits live again. Sub Pop Records has remastered and re-released all four albums in their discography, as well as a new live album recorded in June of 1993 called Live at The X-Ray, all of which are available now on all streaming platforms. In addition, the physical re-release of the remastered debut album, Frenching The Bully, will be available on vinyl, CD, and cassette on January 31, 2025. And thanks to the wonderful people at Sub Pop, LEO Weekly was able to get a Zoom interview with both Andy Kessler (guitar) and Matt Dresdner (bass).
Although he was not part of this interview,
it’s worth noting that drummer Steve Moriarty recently released a book about his time in The Gits titled Mia Zapata and The Gits: A Story of Art, Rock, and Revolution. Neither Kessler nor Dresdner were part of writing this book, but told us they are supportive of it and Steve.
(This interview has been edited for length and clarity)
So how did the deal with Sub Pop come about?
Andy Kessler: We had the idea for a box set that would collect all of The Gits recordings, then that sort of metamorphosed into interest from a very small label in putting out at least the first album on vinyl. And then that changed into, well, we could probably find a larger label that could do it better justice and have wider reach.
Matt Dresdner: Yeah, it actually started I think in 2015 when we got together for the first time in 18 years or so to play a benefit show for our good friend James Atkins, who was in a band called Hammerbox. He was battling cancer and we were asked to perform, so we recruited a really good friend, Rachel Flotard, to sing for us.
AK: Rachel is not only a wonderful vocalist, she also works in music management, and she’s the one who really volunteered to manage this project.
I think she just had faith that it could reach a lot more people, so it’s really due to her.
MD: She got us to think bigger and approached labels. Eventually everything came together with Sub Pop. We all felt like it just made sense. Sub Pop was really passionate about doing it for us, and in some ways it felt like coming home or putting this catalog in a place where it somehow belonged.
What does it mean to you to have your music remastered and re-released after all these years?
AK: It’s complex, but we’re obviously pretty fucking pretty happy about it. It’s the past, so it brings up a lot of stuff emotionally and psychologically. But it seems like it’s the best summation of it. Your work can rest now; it sounds as good as it’s possible for it to sound, and probably now on as fine a label as there ever was really, so in as right a place as it could be.
MD: Likewise, it’s cathartic in some way. All these years, there have just been so many loose ends. I think largely with all of us and a lot of friends of Mia’s, it was just too difficult to literally open these boxes. There are just emotional landmines everywhere. I wasn’t ready to dig in, and still each step is
difficult, but we have great support. Doing it with the right people is really important. The support of Mia’s family has been critical. They’re excited to have this stuff come out and have Mia presented again to the world, and I’m really happy it’s being done, especially at the level that that we’ve been able to accomplish it at.
In the film Hype!, Mia can be seen wearing a Louisville T-shirt. Did she talk about the city much?
MD: She had a close affinity for Louisville and talked about it a lot. She wore that shirt proudly and she would make terrible jokes where Louisville was in the punchline that we never understood, [laughs]. But yeah, it was a big part of her identity.
AK: When I first met her, she called it Low-uh-ville.
MD: She taught us the way you’re supposed to say it. Forgive us if this is insulting to Louisvillians, but she said you have to have two fingers in your mouth, [puts two fingers in his mouth and says Louisville]. And that’s how Mia taught us to say it. That’s basically right, Lou-uh-vul.
AK: You know, I think I’ve only been in Louisville one time. This was after Mia died, maybe in ’95, around then, but I loved it and I thought the people were just so cool and warm and it just seemed like nice place.
MD: That great record store we went to, what was that called?
Probably Ear X-Tacy.
MD: Ear X-Tacy, yeah! We had stickers and an earplug case from Ear X-Tacy.
AK: I forgot about that. So I thought it was really awesome and I thought even about moving there.
A lot’s been said about Mia on stage, but what was she like as a person off stage?
MD: She definitely had an amazing stage presence and persona, but I think in day-to-day life, it was quite different. There was nothing inauthentic. She wasn’t putting on a performance in any way on stage. But she was just a goofy, wonderful, funny friend who was warm and open to people.
AK: She was a complex and wonderful person. I said this the other night: when I was having a hard time, she would be the first person I would go to. And she was really super artistic and creative. There’s a reason certain people are pretty passionate, and rock ’n’ roll is about being wild and creative. But she was also a real private person, and in many ways there was a side of her that had a
lot of humility. She didn’t like talking about herself. She didn’t go around telling people she was in a band or sang. And when we talked about the future, meaning what we saw for ourselves long term because we thought we would probably have the band for a very long time, she’d say when she was old, she just wanted to live in a nice house in the country with a big sheepdog.
MD: She always wanted to be an old lady. She’d always say “I can’t wait until I’m an old lady,” and sit on her porch with a sheepdog and a guitar.
I know the band started at Antioch College in Ohio, but how did each of you meet?
MD: Well, first I became friends with Mia. She was a year ahead of me. She was in the art department, and I was an art student as well, and we just became really tight. A little while later, I heard her sing at an open mic event on campus, and I literally started crying. There was something in the quality of her voice that just touched me so deeply. Anyway, a while later, I spent some time in San Francisco and worked at a big punk club there and ended up being a stage manager and worked with some of the bands I had idolized when I was young like Social Distortion. M.D.C., Circle Jerks, D.R.I. And I had this revelation like, these are just schlubs like me! I really had held them up on a pedestal growing up, and that inspired me. I always wanted to be in a band, but I thought it was something for others. And I realized there’s nothing special about these people. They’re just passionate people who are trying to do something. So I bought a bass while I was out there, and when I came back to campus, I wanted to start a band and I saw this guy [Andy] walking around campus. AK: He just asked me if I would play guitar in a band he wanted to start. We didn’t really like each other, so I thought it was a strange thing to ask and was real surprised of being approached that way. So a few days later, we actually got together and started playing. And then a few months later we were messing around in what served as our practice space and Steve [Moriarty] was hanging out, so we asked him to get on the drums and just jam with us, and it sounded amazing because Steve had been playing drums far longer than our drummer at the time, and he’d been trained in jazz a bit as a kid. It sounded really powerful and we just kind of looked at each other and knew.
MD: And even with my complete inability to play the bass, Andy’s like “Hit that string,” it sounded
good and there was chemistry. Andy’s patience to show me how to play, Mia’s innate ability, and then when Steve joined us, it was just like the chemistry was magic.
On your official website there is an upcoming events page. What can we make of that?
MD: Not very much. If the question is leading to are we ever going to play again? There are no plans for that. But we do have one event on the
horizon, which is the record release for Frenching the Bully on January 31st. And the other thing that we’re working on is a short film of live footage from [the movie] Hype! Doug Pray, the director and filmmaker, has been very kind in allowing us to use the footage that he and his crew shot for that, so we’ve been restoring it. And we’re really excited about it because people will actually get a sense of the energy of the band and what Mia was really like on stage.
box set, we really hope. That’s going to be a Sub Pop decision, and I think it’ll come down to how well Frenching the Bully sells.
You all have some interesting album titles: Frenching The Bully, Enter The Conquering Chicken, and Seafish Louisville. Is there any meaning behind any of them?
AK: Everything was kind of an in-joke in the band.
MD: We didn’t take it too seriously.
AK: I don’t want to say there are no deeper meanings or anything, but it was really just joking around.
MD: So Frenching The Bully, in particular, we couldn’t decide. We had a few concepts between us and one idea was the French album. And the other one; Mia was inspired by a Santeria oil that she got I think in San Francisco called Taming the Bully. So we decided to combine the French album and Taming the Bully. And our song titles were for us to remember what it was, seriously never really thinking it would be impactful for anyone outside of us. So yeah, it was mostly just kind of us joking around.
AK: Enter the Conquering Chicken was obviously more serious because we came up with the name after Mia as killed. She was the conquering chicken. I don’t know what we were going to call the record initially. I don’t think we’d gotten that far.
MD: And Seafish Louisville was from one of Mia’s jokes. There was some complicated shaggy dog joke where the punchline was supposed to be something like Crab Louie. I don’t know what it was, but anyway she mixed all these things and so Crab Louie turned into Seafish Louie, then she changed it to Seafish Louisville. And she made this joke on stage and we were all like, how is that supposed to be funny? But it was so not-funny that it was hilarious and we decided to use it.
The Gits often get lumped in with the grunge scene that was happening in Seattle at the time, did you all feel like you were part of that at all?
MD: These labels, I find it kind of funny. The term “grunge” sort of started to burgeon as we were out here, but it is largely used by other people outside looking in. It’s come to sort of identify an era and a place, and we were in that place in that era, so sure, whatever. But musically, no.
AK: We’re kind of our own thing.
MD: But I don’t really think any of that matters. Whatever people want to call it, I’m just glad they’re checking it out. It’s cool. Over the years we’ve seen these trickles of messages from around the world where the band, the music, and especially Mia has really touched and inspired people. And if we can open that to a new generation who has no idea of what was going on so long ago, that’s a treat and a privilege.
AK: There’s a lot of video of us, but that one was just shot with such high quality and the audio was really great too. So that’s the only thing that exists like that of that quality.
Are the other albums going to get released on vinyl as well?
MD: We don’t know. There’s currently no commitment to press anything more than Frenching the Bully. And I think at some point there will be a
The remastered versions of Frenching The Bully, Enter: The Conquering Chicken, Kings & Queens, Seafish Louisville, and Live at The X-Ray are available now in digital format through Sub Pop Records. Frenching The Bully will be available on vinyl, CD, and cassette on January 31, 2025.
Joe Hirsch
Imade Putrawan, 104 Amanda CT Radcliff KY, 2703172844 is seeking title to a 2009 Chevy HHR, 3GNCA23BO9S604857 With registered owner William Leo Baugh, Jr 2691 Milam Rd,Wetumpka, AL 36830 and registered lien holder Ally Financial PO Box 8101, Cockeysville,MD 21030. Unless objected to prior to the final date of publication of this notice.
Leo’s Towing and Recovery, LLC at 715 S Jackson, Louisville, KY 40203 with phone number of 502-727-9503 has intention of obtaining title to a black in color 2015 Lincoln MKZ bearing VIN# 3LN6L2J9XFR607215 registered in the name of Sharon Thompson Bracken, last known address 108 Ladbroke Grove Road, Louisville , KY 40245. Lienholder listed as American Credit Acce, PO Box 4419, Wilmington, OH 45177. Owner or Lienholder has 14 days after the last publication of this notice to object. Objections must be sent in writing to the above address.
A sale will be held on 2/13/25 Noon to 5PM of a 2008 Freightliner Sprinter. VIN # WDPPF445989358532 Sale location is 1013 Sarah Dr. LOUISVILLE, KY 40219 Phone #502-386-8380 Seller reserves the right to bid.
ALL VEHICLES WILL BE SOLD AT 2402 RALPH AVE, 40216 ON FEBRUARY 6, 2025 AT NOON
• 2012 Ford Fusion with VIN 3FAHP0JA5CR355097 owned by Cfam Financial Services and Yusimit Quinones
• 2012 Hyundai SONATA Hybrid with VIN KMHEC4A44CA039240 owned by Javon V Davis and Navy Federal
• 2020 Mitsubishi Outlander with VIN JA4AD3A32LZ040237 owned by Santander Consumer and Travis Webster
• 2019 Ford Edge with VIN 2FMPK3J99KBB92569 owned Ford Motor Credit and Shawn P & Ashley N Mcneal
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• 2003 Toyota Camry Solara with VIN 2T1CE22P03C026113 owned by Eninaja Allen
• 2000 Acura RL with VIN JH4KA9653YC011659 owned by Christopher Wilson
• 2011 Honda Civic with VIN 19XFA1F54BE042892 owned by Jacob Bass
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• 2012 Ford Edge with VIN 2FMDK3JC4CBA68757 owned by Dixie Finance Company and Nashe Aanya
• 2004 Nissan Xterra with VIN 5N1ED28TX4C661975 owned by Cieunise Merzius
• 2011 Chevrolet Traverse with VIN 1GNKREED5BJ125944 owned by Theresa Tompach
• 2003 Ford Escape with VIN 1FMCU02113KE01150 owned by Enrique Rodriguez
• 2012 Chevrolet Impala with VIN 2G1WG5E34C1231183 owned by Maria Lozano
• 1995 Dodge Ram 1500 with VIN 3B7HF13Z9SM142283 owned by Joshua Bargas
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• 1999 Toyota Avalon with VIN 4T1BF18B6XU301535 owned by Yong Choi
• 2006 Ford Focus with VIN 1FAFP34N86W118158 owned by Shania Dages
• 2004 Pontiac Vibe with VIN 5Y2SL62834Z417975 owned by Albert Amburgey
• 2001 Ford Expedition with VIN 1FMRU15W21LA33446 owned by Adrid Fernandez
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• 2000 GMC Savana with VIN 1GTFG25RXY1240817 owned by Eduardo Vazquez
• 1992 Ford F-150 with VIN 1FTDF15Y6NLA81533 owned by Nicholas Goodwin
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• 2003 Chevrolet Impala with VIN 2G1WF52E039352173 owned by Shannon Surran
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• 1999 Buick Park Avenue with VIN 1G4CU5215X4627022 owned Lloyd Cheak
• 2014 Jeep Cherokee with VIN 1C4PJLCS5EW283350 owned by Dereck Young and United Auto Credit Corporation
• 2007 Chrysler 300 with VIN 2C3KA43R97H800023 owned by Morris Demetrius
• 2010 Nissan Armada with VIN 5N1BA0ND3AN610945 owned by Landon Slawson
• 2005 Chrysler Pacifica with VIN 2C4GF68455R289901 owned by Jamie Valkovci
• 2014 Chevrolet Cruze with VIN 1G1P75SZ9E7459604 owned by State Farm Mutual
• 2012 Hyundai Sonata with VIN 5NPEB4AC9CH409783 owned by Taliyah Henderson
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• 2008 Dodge Grand Caravan with VIN 1D8HN44HX8B155331 owned by Chesapeake Funding and D.L Peterson Trust
• 2005 Ford Five Hundred with VIN 1FAFP231X5G137425 owned Angela Lambert
SPIN, KENTUCKY’S LARGEST ANNUAL RECORD SHOW, RETURNS TO TEN20 BREWERY IN FEBRUARY
BY CALEB STULTZ
SPIN, Kentucky’s largest annual record show, is making its return to Ten20 Brewery in Butchertown on Saturday, Feb. 22. Seasoned crate diggers and collectors will find a treasure trove of vinyl, 45s, cassettes, 8 tracks, CDs, stereos, DVDs, and more.
From 10 a.m. to 3 p.m., local dealers will be showcasing a wide range of music and media, making it the perfect opportunity to hunt for rare finds or add new favorites to your collection. For $10, you can get in an hour early at 9 a.m., with general admission being $5 at 10 a.m.
SPIN will be held at 1020 E. Washington
St. at Ten20 Craft Brewery in Butchertown, where you can shop to your heart’s content and enjoy a cold, locally brewed beer and grab a bite from the brewery’s menu. If you’re thinking about setting up a booth and selling your own vinyl or other media, visit The Fleur de Flea website to register as a vendor.
Saturday, February 22 Where: Ten20 Brewery, 1020 E. Washington St., Louisville. Admission: $5 at 10 a.m. | $10 at 9 a.m. (early access)
FEAR FACTORS
BY DAN SAVAGE
Hey Dan: My wife and I are a lesbian married couple in Chicago. We are also proud moms to our wonderful, dynamic 17-year-old trans son. “Michael” is a great kid, and we have always enjoyed a close relationship. It has recently come to light that he is engaging in penetrative sex with men he meets on a gay hookup app. We discovered this because of bloody laundry which we thought was breakthrough bleeding, a trip to his gender doc and a subsequent chlamydia diagnosis brought this all out. Since this revelation — and after a lecture about safe-sex practices — I am now living in a state of terror. I’m terrified our son will be a victim of sexual violence. I am terrified that he will be emotionally scarred by some fetishist. I am terrified he will get a life-threatening STI. My instincts are telling me to take a leave from work, and whisk him away from the city and talk and talk until he sees the danger of this behavior. Is that an over-reaction? Are there therapists who specialize in this? Is there any way this will work out well for him? I desperately want to do right by my son, and he is acting like this is “no big deal,” but my mama instincts are screaming shut this down!
—Manic Over My Son
The stage of life your child is going through — the transition from childhood to adulthood autonomy (which kids do without a fully functioning pre-frontal cortex) — is filled with risk, and you can’t protect your child from all of it.
Zooming out for a second: The age of consent in Illinois is seventeen. I don’t wanna get derailed by a debate about whether that number is too low, but that’s the number. So, no laws were broken here. But polices were violated: your son is too young to be on Grindr or Scruff or Sniffies — you have to be eighteen to get on those apps, and it’s inarguably far too easy for minors to get on them. And while meeting strangers is always risky, the apps are a normal part of gay life and they’re where most queer people find their partners, life and otherwise. And most gay and bi men I know under 35, both cis and trans, got on the apps the moment they turned 18; they had good and bad experiences and sometimes their moms had to get involved, but most survived and learned from their mistakes.
Moving on…
Your instinct to “shut this down” is understandable — you love your son and you wanna protect him from the kind of shitty adult man who gives chlamydia to teenagers — but your plan won’t work. Even if you were to whisk your son off to Peoria, he can download hookup apps just as easily downstate. And he’s seventeen, MOMS, not fourteen… which means he’s almost an adult and will soon be free to make his own choices. So, instead of locking your son in the basement for the next year (or ten), get him on PrEP, keep communicating (you can talk and talk and talk at home), and let him know his moms are ready, willing, and able to swoop in an emergency. Lecture him about regular STI testing, ask him where he’s going and who’s he’s seeing, and tell him — from me
— that adult men who fuck teenagers can’t be trusted. And then go find him a therapist, if you haven’t already, who specializes in working with trans teens, and identify one or two adults in his life — people you know and trust — that your son can turn to for confidential advice. As for being emotionally scarred by some fetishist… Your fears are understandable. Unfortunately for you and your son, it’s hard to draw a clean line between cis men who are attracted to trans men for the right reasons and cis men who fetishize trans men. (Your son has probably encountered both types already.) But not every man who is drawn to trans men is a fetishist. So, he’s going to meet some men who are attracted to everything about him — including the fact that he’s trans — and others who are only interested in him for one reason. The sooner he learns to tell these guys apart, the better. And like all gay and bi men, your son is going to walk away from some experiences feeling used in ways that leave him feeling demeaned and dehumanized and walk away from others feeling used in ways that make him feel powerful and desirable. (And if he’s on PrEP before he walks in, you don’t have to worry about him walking out with a life-threatening STI.)
In addition to getting your son on PrEP right now and off the apps until he’s 18 (he agrees to phone spot checks or he loses his phone), you should encourage your son to recognize his own sexual worth. Some trans people are convinced no one will want them, MOMS, so they jump at — or jump on — anyone who shows interest. One of the lessons your son should take from his experiences on the apps thus far is this: there are men out there who are interested in him. Which means he can hold out for guys who aren’t just interested in him as a trans man, but also as a person; he can hold out for guys who will have a conversation with him about safety, not just guys who wanna know how soon he can get to their apartments; he can hold out for guys who might be interested in dating him, not just hooking up with him. I’ve personally watched trans friends go from a scarcity mindset (“No will want me, I have to take what I can get”) to an abundance mindset (“Lots of people want me, I can afford to be choosey”) and it transformed their lives.
It’s going to be a rocky few years, MOMS, but with you and your wife on his side, I’m confident your son will make it one piece. Good luck.
Hey Dan: My partner and I have been together for nearly twenty years. While our love for each other is as strong as ever, our sex life has hit some bumps. We’ve talked about it a lot, and while we’re both feeling the disconnect, it’s been particularly frustrating for them. One thing that has always sparked our imagination is the idea of them being with someone else. Over the years, we’ve explored this in playful ways: checking out profiles on apps, sharing photos, and even roleplaying scenarios about them having an adventure with someone else. It’s thrilling in the moment, but eventually, we fall back into old routines. Recently, though, something shifted. A colleague has caught their eye. They’ve mentioned being attracted to this person, and the interest seems mutual. This colleague, while shy, has been flirting back — buying thoughtful little gifts and inviting them out for drinks. Because of our shared fantasy and my deep desire to make them happy, I’ve been letting this play out. But here’s the thing: I’m feeling increasingly jealous and worried. What if this becomes something bigger? What if I end up pushed aside? Even though my partner reassures me that I’m the only one they want to come home to, those fears keep creeping in. How can I navigate these feelings without losing the connection we’ve worked so hard to build?
—Apprehensive Now Getting Super Tense
Just wanna make sure I’m following you: You and your long-term partner are still in love but you don’t fuck much anymore and that’s a bigger problem for your partner than it is for you. But the one thing that reliably inspires you to fuck your partner are shared fantasies about them getting with someone else. Not you getting with someone else, ANGST, just them getting with someone else.
Enter someone else.
Zooming out for a second: I don’t know if you’re a cuckold (a man who gets off on being cheated on) or a cuckquean (a woman who gets off on being cheated on) or a cuck (a non-gendered term for someone who gets off on their partner cheating on them) because there’s no data in your letter about who was assigned exactly what at birth. While I respect nonbinary identities and they/them pronouns — because I’m not Mark Fucking Zuckerberg — it can be hard to craft practical sex advice when you don’t know the sexes (assigned or otherwise) of the parties involved. For instance, ANGST, male socialization might impact your reaction to your partner getting with their colleague (if you’re male); conversely, if your partner is a woman or they was (they were?) assigned female at birth and was socialized as a woman, having a sexual adventure might expose them to more risk of violence, pregnancy, sexually-transmitted infections, etc.
Anyway…
I’m going to assume you’re a cuck or cuck-adjacent, ANGST, because there’s something about your partner fucking around — but not you fucking around — that turns you on. Venus, the host of the Venus Cuckoldress Podcast and perhaps the smartest person on the planet about cuckold relationships, describes cuckolding as a “one-sided open relationship,” and that’s essentially what you’re talking about here. Venus also talks a lot on her show about something she describes as “cuck angst,” ANGST, which seems to describe you perfectly.
“One of the things that attracted me to cuckolds was their ability to turn something potentially painful and uncomfortable — their partner having a sexual experience with someone else — into something pleasurable and fun,” said Venus. “And while cucks can experience intense feelings of jealousy, doubt, and anxiety, ‘cuck angst’ is a part of the thrill for the cuckold. But it can be very scary and uncomfortable, particularly before that first experience.”
How do you get over the angst and learn to enjoy your partner fucking around on you in actual-fuckingaround-on-you practice and not just fantasizing-aboutthem-fucking-around-on-you theory?
“The only way to get the post-cuck glow on the other side is to lean into it,” said Venus. “That’s not to say that you have to navigate these powerful emotions all on your own! Your partner has a role to play in helping you through it. They can write a little lovely reassurance letter for you to open when you absolutely need it, or make a point to set aside time each week to have a check-in conversation, and spend some extra quality time with you.”
I would also recommend your partner fuck the shit out of you immediately after they get with this colleague — setting aside whether getting with a colleague is advisable — because reclamation sex, according to cucks, is the best part.
“I’ve also found that cucks supporting other cucks during those anxious times has been really helpful,” said Venus, “so, consider reaching out to other couples with similar dynamics who may be open to friendships. Lastly, I would suggest a somatic sex coach who can give you
some exercises you can do at home to help you relax your body and your mind when the angst gets difficult. Ultimately the whole dance of emotions and feelings involved with being a cuck gets easier over time and you can both enjoy the next-level love, trust, and connection that this kind of relationship is known for.”
Follow Venus on BlueSky @CuckoldressV and check out her podcast at venuscuckoldress.com.
Hey Dan: I’m a 37-year-old man with a 35-year-old partner. We are both cisgender gay men, and he has recently been working from more of an asexual profile. Whatever physical/sexual intimacy we shared in the beginning of our nearly three-year relationship is long gone. He now tells me that he was “never really into” sex with a partner, but he felt compelled “to do it” because gay men are supposed to be sexual. He enjoys self-pleasure during “alone time,” but he isn’t interested in sharing any of that time or energy with me. As a Scorpio, the idea of my partner not wanting sex with me makes me feel like, “If you can’t fuck me, then you don’t love me,” and that’s a whole spiral. We’ve discussed the non-sex in our lives before, and nothing ever really changes because he doesn’t initiate, and these discussions end with him reiterating that sex is not important to him. I never really thought of myself as a “sexual person” but this absence of it is so deeply felt that it feels like a major thing is missing. Can you help?
—Sexual Needs Aren’t Getting Satisfied
If I knew you personally, SNAGS, I would come over and help you pack. But since I don’t know you personally, I can only urge you to pack your shit and go. Your boyfriend isn’t who you thought he was when you met him and — gonna be charitable here — your boyfriend isn’t who he thought he was either. So, whatever else might be working, the sex isn’t working, and you didn’t sign up for a sexless relationship. And just in case you need to hear this: your sexual orientation (gay and allo) is every bit as valid as his sexual orientation (gay and ace), SNAGS, so you have every right to end things — however lovely he might be otherwise — because he doesn’t fuck you the way Scorpios need to be fucked. (My official position: astrology is bullshit, SNAGS, but if blaming the stars makes it easier for you to end this relationship, blame the stars.)
P.S. It’s wonderful when someone realizes they’re polyamorous or asexual — who doesn’t want an angel to get her wings? — but the person they married (or partnered with) when they thought they were monogamous or allosexual isn’t obligated to accept an open relationship or a sexless one. Loving, supporting, and staying is an option, of course, but loving, supporting, and leaving is an equally valid option. (My official position: monogamy or polyamory are relationship models, not sexual orientations; something we do, not something we are.)
P.P.S. You might be able to make a companionate relationship work — you love each other, you fuck other people — but companionate relationships only work when both parties wanna make it work. (My official position: all relationships become companionate relationships if they go on long enough.)
Got problems? Yes, you do! Email your question for the column to mailbox@savage.love!
Or record your question for the Savage Lovecast at
FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
Week of January 15
ROB BREZSNY
ARIES (March 21-April 19): Author Anais Nin wrote, “Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.” I bring this to your attention because you Aries folks now have a mandate to expand your life through courageous acts, thoughts, and feelings. I suggest we make the Arctic fox your power symbol. This intrepid creature undertakes epic migrations, journeying over 2,000 miles across sea ice, using starlight and magnetic fields to navigate. Let’s dare to speculate that you have something in common with it; let’s propose that you are equipped with an inner guidance system that gives you a keen intuitive sense of how to maneuver in unfamiliar territory. PS: Anais Nin has another tip: “We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.”
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Taurus archeologist Howard Carter made a spectacular discovery in 1922: the intact tomb of the Egyptian Pharaoh Tutankhamun, more than 3,300 years after his death. It was filled with over 5,000 artifacts, became a global sensation, and to this day remains the most famous find from ancient Egypt. A short time before he succeeded at his five-year quest, Howard Carter nearly gave up. But then his sponsor agreed to provide funds for a few more months, and he continued. In this spirit, Taurus, I urge you to keep pushing to fulfill your own dream. Renew your faith. Boost your devotion. Remember why you feel so strongly.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): The James Webb Space Telescope is the largest telescope in space. Recently, it discovered hundreds of galaxies that no humans had ever before beheld. They are very old, too—far more ancient than our own Milky Way Galaxy. I propose we make this marvelous perception-enhancing tool a symbol of power for you. According to my analysis of the astrological omens, you now have a robust potential to see things that have always been invisible, secret, or off-limits to you. Some of these wonders could motivate you to reinterpret your life story and reshape your future plans.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): One theory says that humans evolved to be afraid of reptiles because our early ancestors were frequently threatened by them. Among the most commonly feared creatures in modern culture are snakes. And yet, as anyone knows if they’ve studied mythology, snakes have also been symbols of fertility and healing in many cultures. Because they periodically shed their skin, they also represent regeneration and rebirth. I’m hoping you don’t harbor an instinctual aversion to snakes, Cancerian. The coming
weeks will be a favorable time for you to call on and benefit from their iconic powers.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): In the coming months, be extra creative as you enhance your network of connections and support. Encourage your allies to provide you with tips about opportunities and possibilities that you would not otherwise know about. Ask them to serve as links to novel resources that will nurture your long-term dreams. Here’s an idea to energize your efforts: Get a vivid sense of how trees use vast underground fungal webs to communicate with each other. (Learn more here: bit.ly/ TheWoodWideWeb) Knowing about this natural magic may impregnate your subconscious mind with evocative suggestions about how to be ingenious in weaving the kind of community you want.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): I love my job as a horoscope writer. What could be more fun than analyzing cosmic signs to generate inspirational counsel for my readers? It’s a big responsibility, though. I am intensely aware of how crucial it is that I craft my messages with utmost care and compassion. Having been scarred as a young adult by reckless, fear-mongering fortune-tellers, I’m rigorous about nurturing your free will, not undermining it. I want you to be uplifted, not confused or demoralized as I was. With these thoughts in mind, I invite you to take a vigorous inventory of the effects that your work and play have on the world. Are they aligned with your intentions? Are your ambitions moored in impeccable integrity?
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Why are diamonds considered so valuable? I’m skeptical. Highgrade diamonds are not as rare as public perception would lead us to believe. Yes, they are extraordinarily hard and scratch-resistant, but is that a reason to regard them as a sublime treasure? I acknowledge they are pretty in a bland way. But other gems are more intriguingly beautiful. Maybe the most important reason they are so prized is that diamond sellers have done effective marketing campaigns to promote them as symbols of love and luxury. All this is a prelude to my main message: Now is an excellent time to think and feel deeply about what is truly beautiful to you—and take steps to bring more of it into your life. For you Libras, beauty is an essential ingredient in your life’s purpose.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): The way that ancient Romans made concrete was more ingenious than modern methods. Their manufacturing materials included “lime clasts,” which gave the concrete self-healing qualities. When
cracks arose, they fixed themselves. That’s why Roman aqueducts built 2,000 years ago can still convey water today. Metaphorically speaking, I hope you will work on building similar structures in the coming weeks. It’s time to create strong foundations that will last for a very long time.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Do you harbor a yearning to learn a new language, new skill, or new trick? The coming weeks will be a favorable phase to get serious about doing it. Have you fantasized about embarking on an adventure that would expand your understanding of how the world works? The time is right. Have you wished you could attract an inspirational prod to unleash more creativity and experiment freely? The astrological omens suggest that inspirational prod is imminent. Have you wondered whether you could enhance and fine-tune your receptivity—and thereby open up surprising sources of fresh teaching? Do it now!
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Bristlecone pine trees grow very slowly, but they are hardy and long-lived. Their wood is so dense and strong that it’s virtually immune to disease, insects, and erosion. They grow in places that are inhospitable for many other trees, flourishing in cold, windy environments where the soil is not particularly rich in nutrients. For the bristlecone pine, apparent obstacles stimulate their resilience. I don’t want to exaggerate the ways they remind me of you Capricorns, but you and they certainly have affinities. I believe these shared qualities will be especially useful for you in the coming weeks.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): In old Hawaii, it was forbidden for ordinary people to touch objects that belonged to the chiefs or to anyone with spiritual powers. Other taboos: Never walk across the shadow of an important person and never wear red and yellow feathers. Our modern taboos are different, but often equally rigid. For example, you are probably hesitant to ask people how much money they make or what their relationship status is. What are other taboos you observe? I won’t outrightly advise you to brazenly break them, but now is a good time to re-evaluate them—and consider changing your relationship with them.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): As winter progresses, each day is longer and each night shorter. Most humans feel an undercurrent of joy that the amount of light in the world is growing. But as an astrologer who appreciates cycles, I like to honor the beauty and powers of darkness. That’s where everything new gets born! It’s where the future comes from! In ancient Hawaiian religion, the word kumulipo meant “beginning-in-deep-darkness.” It was also the name of a prayer describing the creation of the world. In the coming weeks, I believe you will be wise to tap into the rich offerings of darkness.
Homework: Is your ego more advanced than your sou? If so, help your soul catch up.
MULTI-HYPHENATES
BY HARRY ZHENG
Puzzles Edited by Joel Fagliano
Harry Zheng, of Carmel, Ind., is a secondyear student at Purdue University majoring in computer science, math, and physics. This is his second crossword for The Times. During high school, when Harry started submitting puzzles to the paper, his economics teacher said that if Harry got one in, he would frame it and hang it in the classroom. The teacher made good on his promise.
1 ‘‘The Soul Itself’’ (Emily Dickinson poem) 5 Conceal
Gamer’s annoyance
13 Wail, blubber, etc.
17 One of six in garden croquet
18 Emmy-winning drama series set in the Midwest
Early phase of software development
Electrician who might put in overtime after a bad storm
Politico Buttigieg
Partner of dreams
Anesthetized
Have a banquet
Unnecessarily lengthen, as an essay
Brought aboard
Language from which ‘‘curry’’
Increased suddenly
‘‘No time to lose!’’
Without help
Step (on)
76 ‘‘The Simpsons’’ character who says ‘‘I’ve done everything the Bible says! Even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff!’’ 77 Love affair 78 Corrupt
79 Snack brand with ‘‘Classic’’ and ‘‘Wavy’’ varieties
Iced coffee drink
38 Pulled a classic prank on, for short
40 Superman’s birth name
41 Genre for Fall Out Boy
42 Descriptor for a dictator
43 Stays alive
46 Santa ____
47 Magic word?
49 Lurched
Education support grp. 19 Disney C.E.O. Bob
55 Dien Bien ____, 1954 battle site in Vietnam
56 Dough dispenser
59 Hard hits off the bat 61 McEvoy of cosmetics
63 Dish of chopped meat, potatoes and onions
Graphics that show trends 30 Like cobras and some jackets 32 Doc that ensures secrecy 33 Rapscallion 34 Dog with ‘‘small black eyes that twinkled merrily on either side of his funny, wee nose’’ 35 Prepared 37 Lion’s prey 39 Preceding times
66 Portrayer of Grindelwald in‘‘Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald’’
67 Author Zola
68 Large Starbucks size
69 Fascinated by
70 Potatoes, on an Indian menu
71 Nb3, Bxh7, Ra4, etc.
72 The Macarena and Cha Cha Slide, for two
Jamie who pitched on eight major-league teams over his 25-year career
Weigh (down)
Wild tours
They might make you jump
50 What Boyle’s law pertains to 51 Bar exercises
52 Highly recommended story
55 Awaiting surgery, informally
57 Vanishing point?
58 Henry who composed the theme for ‘‘The Pink Panther’’ 60 Sleep stage
61 Rating that signifies lewdness or violence
62 Concealed 64 Medical inserts
65 Parasites’ needs
73 Quite fond of, with ‘‘to’’
75 Hefeweizen, e.g.
77 Jason’s ship
of where to cut
or something written five times in this puzzle?
of a badger
with chips?
‘‘____ Turismo’’ (2023 film)
fantasy
80 Vacation destination in the Caribbean 81 Stronghold 83 Place to hover 84 Big name in frozen food 85 Obsequious types
86 Sauntered (in)
88 Meager
89 Closefitting headwear, in a variant spelling
91 ____ Bill, folk hero who is said to have ridden a tornado like a bucking bronco
92 Invite on a date
93 ‘‘Honesty is the first chapter in the book of ____’’: Thomas Jefferson 94 Piece of classical music
99 Repulsive
101 Strongman of myth
102 ‘‘I Know a ____’’ (rhyming children’s book)
103 Soda with strawberry and pineapple flavors
104 Derisive expression
106 Auction action
108 Clarified butter
113 Botch things
Answers
