Robin Garr, Jeff Polk, Tracy Heightchew, Melissa Gaddie, T.E. Lyons, Rob Brezny
Marc Murphy
Guillermo Rodriguez
Each year we ask the readers to tell us the BEST things in this city. You tell us the best food, the best writers, the best bands and you even make sure we know where to get the best botox. It’s impressive how excited the reading public, and the business community gets to cast those votes. It’s a great community effort. Louisville is a worthy and amazing community.
LEO was created, and is run in the spirit of our community. So we are excited to welcome you all to the 2024 Readers’ Choice Issue, and can’t wait to celebrate this issue with you at our Readers’ Choice Party on October 17 at Play (1101 E. Washington St.). The party starts at 6 p.m. and tickets are on sale now via RedPinTix (redpintix.com/events/RC24).
In America, we love to have the choice to decide our fate and our lives. Voting in a competition like Readers’ Choice is an extension of our desire to have a choice. We not only want to share with you the things we think are the best, the most flavorful, the cheapest, the most funny. We want you to participate in that decision.
In an election year, you’ve got multiple decisions to make. We hope that you will vote in the 2024 election for your favorite candidate with as much fervor and joy as you voted in this year’s Readers’ Choice.
I am going to keep this short.
Let’s get to the categories and our winners of this year’s 2024 LEO Weekly Readers’ Choice Awards.
Can we get a round of applause? Don’t worry, no one will stare at you like you’re weird for cheering at the coffee shop or on the bus. We promise.
BEST SOUTHERN INDIANA BARBER
Pryor’s Place Barber Shop 430 E 5th St, New Albany
“You used to find a Bug in a box with fade Now he boogies up your stage, plaits, twist, or braids”
The best neighborhood barbershop in New Albany, hands down. Keishaun Pryor and “Pappas” will keep the whole family looking good. And if you have a nervous or difficult child, you will find patient hands at Pryor’s Place. Enjoy a broadcast of Family Feud, lively conversation with New Albany locals, and the type of camaraderie you can only find in a barbershop. Call and make your appointment because walk-ins might be a long wait or not being able to get your cut at all. Barber shops are important connections to communities and Pryor’s keeps the Southern Indiana community lined-up, and faded.
—Erica Rucker
AESTHETICS
STAFF PICKS
BEST LOCAL COCKTAIL
Improved Yokohama Cocktail Tartan House 1027 E. Main St.
With a blend of Suntory Toki, benedictine, absinthe, and angostura bitters this is a complex drink that also delivers a sneaky strong punch. It’s a drink that requires you to enjoy the sip but as you imbibe, it’s also a good idea to think more about the combination of ingredients. The atmosphere of Tartan House with its cozy nooks and comfortable bar seating, offers the perfect atmosphere for a drink as sophisticated as the Yokohama. As Bill Murray says in Lost in Translation, “For relaxing times, make it Suntory time.” Combined with absinthe, and other flavors, it’s a dynamite sip.
—Erica Rucker
Best Nail Salon
1. Lush Nail Loft
2. Dollhouse Vanity LLC
3. Glamorous Nails
Best Permanent Make Up
1. The Brow Babes
2. Sage Beauty Aesthetics
3. Permanent Makeup by Jade
Best Tanning Studio
1. Sage Beauty Aesthetics
2. Lash & Snatch
3. XO Aesthetics Refinery
Best Tattoo Artist
1. Lyndi Lou - Mama Tried Tattoo Parlour
2. Rodney Adams - Twisted Images
3. Lyndsey Elliot - Bluebird Ink
Best Tattoo Studio
1. Tattoo Charlie’s
2. Mama Tried Tattoo Parlour
3. Twisted Images
Best Waxing Studio
1. European Wax Center
2. Dollface Brows and Beauty
3. Jeeka Does It
Erica Rucker
BEST ASIAN MARKET
If you’re interested in learning more about Asian cuisine, have a curious palate and time to spend, Viet Hoa is Louisville’s most complete Asian grocery experience. With an extensive selection of live and frozen seafood and other meats, vegetables, snacks, seasonings, and packaged delicacies, the experience of Viet Hoa is a delight. A visit to Viet Hoa feels like walking through markets in Asia, and it isn’t just the food. There are ceremonial goods, and cookware for any preparation you might need. The staff is friendly and knowledgeable. It’s the perfect place to step out of your comfort zone to try Asian foods you might be unfamiliar with.
—Erica Rucker
ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT
Best Cover Band
Most Wanted
Wax Factory
Honky Tonk Rewind Best Drag King
Best Improv Troupe
1. Extra Crispy Improv Comedy
2. Improv Anonymous
3. Kentucky Bill
Best Karaoke Bar
1. The Merryweather
2. NoraeBar
3. Akoko’s
Best Live Music Venue
1. Headliner’s Music Hall
2. Planet of the Tapes
3. The Louisville Palace
Best Live Theatre Venue
1. Kentucky Center for the Performing Arts
2. Planet of the Tapes
3. The Louisville Palace
Best Local Album in 2024
1. Creature Untamed - Sydney Sleadd & The Swarm
2. Sucker Punch - Anemic Royalty
3. I Need Some Help - Howell Dawdy
Best Local Comedian
1. Jake Hovis
2. Lucious Williams
3. Tom Mabe
Best Local Song in 2024
1. “That Fire I Touched” - Sydney Sleadd & The Swarm
2. “Gun To Your Head” - Anemic Royalty
3. “Tricks on the Mind” - Hope Ahlers
Best Movie Theater
Best Museum (that is not a gallery)
1. Speed Art Museum
2. Frazier History Museum
3. KMAC Museum
Best Music Festival
1. Bourbon & Beyond
2. The Big Stomp
3. Louder Than Life
Best Outdoor Art Show
1. St. James Art Festival
2. Louisville UnFair
3. Cherokee Triangle Art Fair
Best Performing Arts Group
1. Bette’s Burlesque
2. The Louisville Leopard Percussionists
3. The Va Va Vixens
Best Place to See Comedy
1. Planet of the Tapes
2. The Caravan Comedy Club
3. Louisville Comedy Club
Best Theatre Production
1. “A Midsummer Night’s Dream - A Queer Tale” by Drag Daddy Productions
2. “The Tempest” by Kentucky Shakespeare
3. “Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat” by ACT Louisville
Anemic
Best Drag Queen
1. Baxter Avenue Theaters
2. Xscape Theaters
Blankenbaker 16
3. Cinemark - Tinseltown
Best Visual Artist
1. Lyndi Lou
2. Rick Gideons
3. Damon Thompson
Viet Hoa
7100 Preston Hwy.
Viet Hoa
STAFF PICKS
BEST LOCAL HAPPENING IN THE PAST YEAR
Latino/Hispanic Heritage Night on Preston Highway Supermercado Guanajuato #2 6102 Preston Hwy.
When you see a lot of big trucks with flags, it’s easy to think it’s going to be a parade of Trump flags, and angry white dudes shouting about the second amendment. It was so refreshing to see that on the recent Heritage Night, sponsored by Supermercado Guanajuato #2, the scores of cars, trucks and people were decked out in the flags of their nations celebrating something that is positive – culture, and not manufactured culture based on colonization and crime against other communities. It was fun trying to identify where each flag was from and seeing how car culture still thrives in Hispanic and Latino communities. I hope this is a yearly event.
—Erica Rucker
COMMUNITY
Best Thing That’s Happened this Year
1. Kamala Harris is on the presidential ticket
Inn
Erica Rucker
STAFF PICKS
LOCAL EVENT THAT SHOULD HAPPEN MORE OFTEN
Asian Night Market
Fourth Street Live!
411 S. 4th St.
Asian Night Market is the yearly celebration of Asian culture and food that Asia Institute Crane House has put on for the last three years. The cultures of Asia span from India, to Japan, Korea, China and, south to countries like the Philippines, Laos, Vietnam, Indonesia and many more. Asian Night Market offers live performances from different Asian cultural groups, including Cultura Philippines, UofL’s Cardinal Bhangra, and the River Lotus Lion Dance, and many food trucks from local eateries like Bamba Eggroll Co., and Mochi Dog. For Louisville to have a thriving and vibrant multicultural city is a bonus. Immigrant communities make the places they grow better, more flavorful, more colorful, and safer. It is to the benefit of America that we continue to welcome and celebrate with the communities who choose this nation to begin building their dreams. The Asian Night Market is a reminder of how wonderful it is to share this land with so many different people.
—Erica Rucker
DRINKS
Best Bar: Downtown
Best Bar: Germantown/ Schnitzelburg
1. Four Pegs Smokehouse
2. Hauck’s Corner
3. ShopBar
Best Bar: Highlands
1. PG&J’s Dog Park Bar
2. Planet of the Tapes
3. Big Bar
Best Bar: NuLu
1. Corridor Bar
2. Taj
3. Galaxie Bar
Best Bar: S. Indiana
1. The Alcove
2. Wine Shop New Albany
3. Pints & Union
Best Bar: South Louisville
1. Rubbies Southside Grill & Bar
2. BA Colonial
3. O’Dolly’s Lounge & Restaurant | Hideout Pizza
Best Bar: St. Matthews
1. Never Say Die
2. The Fox Den | Saints Pizza Pub & SkyBar
3. Tin Roof
Best Bar: West Louisville
1. Birdie & Vi’s Fleatique
2. Joe’s Palm Room
3. The Portal
Bar: East
Best Bartender
1. Alanna Hudson - Rubbies Southside Grill and Bar
2. Brandon Hayden - Big Bar
3. Mark Corley - Big Bar
Best Beer List
1. Four Pegs Smokehouse
2. Sergio’s World Beers
3. Atrium Brewing
Best Bourbon List
1. Rubbies Southside Grill & Bar
2. Neat Bourbon Bar
3. North of Bourbon
Best Cocktail
1. Old Fashioned @ Rubbies Southside Grill & Bar
2. The Paloma @ Pretty Decent
3. Penicillin @ Tartan House
Best Dive Bar
1. High Horse
2. Rubbies Southside Grill & Bar
3. The Merryweather
Best Hotel Bar
1. Hotel Genevieve Rooftop Bar
2. Proof on Main - 21C
3. Repeal Oak Fired SteakhouseHotel Distil
Best Local Craft Beer
1. Atrium Brewing
2. Mile Wide Beer Company
3. Monnik Beer
Asian Night Market
Asia Institute Crane House
FOOD & DINING
Best Chef 1. Casey Mader - Chef It
2. Henry Wesley - 8UP Elevated Drinkery & Kitchen 3. Chris Williams - Four Pegs Smokehouse
Best Chili
1. Rubbies Southside Grill & Bar
2. Four Pegs Smokehouse
3. Check’s Cafe
Best Chinese Restaurant
1. Oriental House
2. August Moon 3. Double Dragon (Goss Avenue)
Best Coffee Shop
1. Heine Brothers Coffee 2. Bean
3. Sunergos Coffee
Best Cuban Restaurant 1. Havana Rumba 2. La Bodeguita De Mima Cuban Restaurant 3. Mojito In Havana
Best Deli/Sandwich Shop 1. Good Belly Sandwich Shop 2. Morris Deli 3. Stevens & Stevens Deli
Best Donut Shop 1. Nord’s Bakery
2. Jeff’s Donuts
3. Hi-Five Donuts
Best Fine Dining
1. Volare Italian Ristorante
2. Jack Fry’s
3. Repeal Oak Fired Steakhouse
BEST LOCAL MEME INSTAGRAM
(Flürb) RiverCityRules Search Instagram
Louisville has plenty to laugh about. From the weird shit you see at local music festivals like Bourbon & Beyond, Louder than Life, and the now possibly-defunct Forecastle Festival to the really fun time driving on Louisville roads, this city has much to meme. Sometimes the memes hit a little close to home, and tender hearts might feel a bit salty but RiverCityRules keeps it 100% with memes that reflect the life and times of living in the real River City. The memes range from the absurd to light commentary on local celebrities, current events, politics, and just things that could only possibly happen in Louisville, ahem “porch pooper.”
Best Fish Sandwich
1. Rubbies Southside Grill & Bar
2. The Fish House
3. The Fishery
Best Food Truck/Cart
1. Bamba Egg Roll Co.
2. Jay’s Burgers
3. Kabuki Hibachi Food Truck
Best Fried Chicken
1. Mellwood Tavern
2. CM Chicken of Louisville
3. The Eagle
Best Guacamole
1. Guacamole
2. El Mundo
3. Seviche
Best Hot Brown
1. Rubbies Southside Grill & Bar
2. The Brown Hotel
3. The Village Anchor
Best Hot Dog
1. Dairy Del
2. Red Top Hot Dogs
3. Lonnie’s Best Taste of Chicago
—Erica Rucker
PHOENIX (RISING FROM THE ASHES)
Ramen 1161 S. 2nd St.
Once upon a time, I grew up on the 1200 block of Second Street. Once upon a different time, ramen was my favorite food. Nothing gold can stay, and tastes change, but never the less, when Renshoku Ramen, opened at the corner of Second and Oak, in that little strip of stores that sometimes seems cursed because of how hard it is to keep businesses open there, I was very curious. So I went to Renshoku opening weekend. It was nice, but they were clearly still working out the kinks. I made a note to check it out again down the road, and when I finally did I was immediately in love -the same way I was in 2013 when I first ate a steaming bowl of noodles at Daikaya, a shop in DC’s Chinatown neighborhood. I started eating Renshoku twice a week, and pined for it when they were closed. Then tragedy struck. Or maybe it was the curse- a car crashed into the corner, hitting a tree and a parked car, starting a fire that spread to Renshoku. Suddenly my new favorite was gone. Of course the owners said they were gonna fix it up and re-open… But I had doubts. I’ve seen it all before on that cursed corner. But- work began on fixing the place up, and while the shop was closed Renshoku ran a string of pop ups to help their staff keep up with their personal bills while they waited for the shop to reopen. The shop opened back up in early September. And though it has a slightly reduced menu for now, the ramen is still fire. So, for being a thing of beauty that literally burst into flames and then was reborn; I present Renshoku Ramen the award for Best Phoenix.
Renshoku
—Ali Fireel
Ali Fireel
BEST GENDER-INCLUSIVE BATHROOM SIGNS
The Henry Clay Theater 604 S. 3rd St.
A sad but true fact about the world: “Clever” things often aren’t. Tee-shirts, bumper stickers, little signs on people’s desks. I find a lot of these “clever” little things irksome, but unless it’s hate speech, I shrug and meh.
Another sad but true fact, bathrooms are a battleground for trans and non-binary people’s rights. It can get actually physically dangerous for trans people in bathrooms. And sometimes the actual sign outside the public restroom saying it’s gender inclusive is your only indication you’re in friendly territory… Unfortunately, lots of gender inclusive restrooms have “clever” signs. Cue my cognitive dissonance.
But- when a bathroom sign is gender inclusive AND actually clever, it gives me life. And the signs at the Henry Clay Theatre on Third St., courtesy the region’s longest running Queer theater company Pandora Productions, give me life, designating their bathrooms as “general seating” and “standing room.”
For me this is often the best kind of clever, a wink and a tip of the hat rather than a loud, would-be, stand-up comic’s punchline. It’s an excellent on topic allusion using theater themed language. Even better, it’s simple and informative. Some bathroom’s signs are so convoluted that they aren’t even clear about what facilities they contain. And like many of the best puns, it’s so obvious in hindsight. According to Artistic Director Gil Reyes it’s a brainchild of frequent Pandora contributor Kate Holland Ballowe. So for intelligence, clarity, and originality, I present Kate Holland Ballowe, Pandora Productions and the Henry Clay Theatre this award for Best Gender-inclusive Bathroom Signs.
Best Restaurant: Butchertown 1. Copper & Kings
Decade
Naive Kitchen & Bar | Pizza Lupo
Best Restaurant: Clifton/Crescent Hill 1. Volare Italian Ristorante 2. Red Hog Restaurant & Butcher Shop 3. The Irish Rover
Best Restaurant: Downtown 1. Repeal Oak Fired Steakhouse 2. Jeff Ruby’s Steakhouse 3. Monk’s Road Boiler House
Best Restaurant: East Louisville 1. The Village Anchor 2. VinBun Vietnamese Bistro
3. Brasserie Provence
—Ali Fireel
Ali Fireel
MOST EGREGIOUSLY UNDERRATED PARK:
Shawnickasaw… or is it Chickanee? Southwestern Pkwy
Okay this is actually two Olmsted parks, but Shawnee and Chickasaw Park are separated by a quick eight block stroll Olmsted’s picturesque and historic Southwestern Parkway, so it feels like they are two halves of one whole green space.
While not quite as big as Cherokee, the sprawling Shawnee Park combines multiple areas, with unique flavors. The buzz of ball courts and playgrounds, give way to an expansive and stately great lawn, with small strands of trees just far enough apart that you feel their majesty. It fills me with awe when I open myself to the experience, as do the paths and trails tucked away behind Shawnee, where the absence of a Spaghetti Junction offers an intimate connection to the Ohio River.
The more compact Chickasaw Park, after it closed to the public for a few years, is finally undergoing a renaissance: A pond renovated, a new nature based play area,
and a fantastic overlook for gazing through the trees to see the Ohio.
But from the 1920’s to the late 1950’s, the eight blocks separating these two parks held a harsh dividing line; Chickasaw -beautiful and beloved by its community- was the sole park open to the Black community. Shawnee was one of many white green spaces. Today’s segretory line is further East, the Ninth Street Divide. The seemingly self-evident reason is that large numbers of Louisvillians can’t point to these parks on a map.
Whether it’s Olmsteads designs, the parks history, or the sheer palpability of the mighty Ohio, these two parks are often the place that I go to consider my place in the world, my debt to the city that raised me and the people who built it, and our shared responsibility for making a greener and more just future.
—Ali Fireel
STAFF PICKS
Ali Fireel
CRAZIEST FOURTH STREET LIVE! MOMENT OF THE LAST DECADE HAPPENED MORE RECENTLY THAN YOU THINK
When former Louisville mayor Greg Fischer was punched at Fourth Street Live!, it sparked reactions that ranged from disbelief to shock, but I was taken aback so badly that I couldn’t help but laugh. Fischer, who served as mayor for over a decade, was at a public event when some random guy walked up and unexpectedly hit him in the face. If you remember, Antwon Brown was found incompetent to stand trial months later. The sheer randomness of the attack in a public place against the mayor of all people on a casual Saturday made it feel surreal. It’s not every day that a politician, especially a mayor, gets physically attacked in such a brazen manner while out in the open.
What made the situation somewhat hilarious, albeit in a dark way, was the absurdity of the moment. Fischer is not what I’d consider a controversial figure to the extent that would typically provoke such a reaction, and seeing a mayor getting sucker-punched in a public setting seemed like something out of a slapstick comedy rather than real life. Mind you, this was years before Trump’s assassination attempts, so the humor comes more from the sheer “did that really just happen?” nature of the event, rather than the violence itself, which thankfully didn’t result in serious harm.
—Caleb Stultz
Best Steakhouse
1. Repeal Oak Fired Steakhouse
2. Pat’s Steakhouse
3. Le Moo
Best Sushi
1. Anko Sushi
2. Sapporo Japanese Grill & Sushi 3. Oishii Sushi Best Taco 1. Taco Luchador
2. Agave & Rye
3. Taco City Louisville
Best Take Out
1. Rubbies Southside Grill & Bar
2. VinBun Vietnamese Bistro
3. Four Pegs Smokehouse
Best
Thai Restaurant
1. Simply Thai
2. Time 4 Thai
3. All Thai’d Up
Best Vegetarian
Restaurant
1. Heart & Soy - Roots
2. V-Grits
3. VinBun Vietnamese Bistro
Best Vietnamese Restaurant
1. VinBun Vietnamese Bistro
2. Vietnam Kitchen
3. Eatz Vietnamese
Best Wings
1. Rubbies Southside Grill & Bar
2. Four Pegs Smokehouse
3. Momma’s Mustard, Pickles & BBQ
Louisville Tourism
BEST VIDEO GAME BASED IN LOUISVILLE
“Project Zomboid” stands out as one of the best games set in Louisville due to its deep survival mechanics, expansive world-building, and realistic depiction of a post-apocalyptic setting. As an open-world survival game, it immerses players in a relentless struggle against the zombie apocalypse, set against the backdrop of Louisville. The game captures the essence of survival, where players must scavenge for food, secure shelter, and fend off increasingly dangerous threats. One of its unique strengths is its attention to realism. The developers have carefully recreated Louisville, incorporating landmarks and geographical features, which adds an authentic feel for players familiar with the area. Additionally, its complex mechanics like crafting, skills development and managing mental and physical health add layers of depth that keep players engaged.
—Caleb Stultz
THE BEST FOOTBALL SCOOP-AND-SCORE OF THE PAST DECADE HAPPENED RECENTLY IN LOUISVILLE
Louisville’s scoop-and-score during their 31-19 win over Georgia Tech was crucial for both the team and my own sanity as a Louisville fan. Tayon Holloway’s blocked field goal, which he returned quickly for 45 yards for a touchdown, came at a pivotal moment when Georgia Tech had cut Louisville’s lead to five points and was gaining momentum. By sealing the game and igniting the crowd of over 50,000 fans, Louisville has jumped out to a perfect start to the season. For the city, this win reinforced the football team’s rising success under its head coach and Louisville local Jeff Brohm.
—Caleb Stultz
Project Zomboid Game Still
Louisville Football
HEALTH & FITNESS
BEST CITY TO GET AN NBA EXPANSION TEAM
It’s so strange that in the year of our Lord 2024 we do not have a professional basketball team from the National Basketball Association (NBA) here in Louisville, or any in Kentucky for that matter. We could have been if not for the Indiana Pacers being picked over the Kentucky Colonels, which were based right here in Derby City. With ravenous basketball fans in a city dying for a pro team to root for, we’ve kept to the sidelines, watching sold-out games of our favorite college teams for decades now. Even if the city’s median age is a little older, 37.9 years old, it doesn’t mean they aren’t willing to pack the KFC Yum! Center for a professional basketball game. Considering how we’ve packed the stands for a sorry Cardinals team over the past half decade, I’m sure with the right pieces in place, we could bring the Colonels back or introduce a new team to this city that desperately needs one.
—Caleb Stultz
Best Pilates Studio
1. Wild and Woolley Pilates
2. Lowber Pilates
3. Paradigm Pilates
Best Place to Buy CBD Products
1. One Love Cannabis Company
2. 502 Hemp
3. New Dawn Myotherapy Center
Best Place to Buy Edibles 1. One Love Cannabis Company 2. 502 Hemp 3. The 7 Leaf Cannabis Dispensary
2. Ivan Tenjo
3. Remy Sisk @ Hyperman Fitness
Credit Kentucky Colonels
HEALTH & FITNESS
Best Yoga Studio
1. Bend and Zen Hot Yoga
2. The Inner Warrior
3. 502 Power Yoga
Best Yoga Teacher
1. Meredith Conroy
2. Gabriella Gaona
3. Brandi Leslie
BEST THIRD SPACE (FOR COMMUNITY & MUSIC!)
The Monarch is more than just a music venue. It’s a creative hub and social space where artists and musicians can find their tribe and share good vibes. Founded by Mark Roberts, this nonprofit, member-supported space has become a home for Louisville’s creatives. With over 600 local and regional artists and nearly 300 touring musicians gracing its stage, The Monarch fosters collaboration and community like no other. Whether you’re catching a donation-based show or admiring the art on display, it’s a place to connect, create, and belong.
—Sydney Catinna
BEST NEW BASKETBALL COACH
Pat Kelsey has been a great pickup for Louisville basketball because of his proven success in building competitive teams and his awesome coaching style at Winthrop and later at Charleston. Kelsey demonstrated an ability to turn both programs around quickly. Considering how well he’s known for his strong player development, Kelsey will consistently produce well-rounded athletes who excel on both ends of the floor for Louisville. His infectious enthusiasm and motivational leadership really rubbed off on me when we first met him at that press conference. I think Kelsey is going to inject much-needed energy into a Louisville program that has underperformed in recent years.
—Caleb Stultz
Monarch Instagram
UofL Men’s Basketball
BEST BATHROOM INSTAGRAM ACCOUNT
@selfies_at_haucks
Admit it. A bathroom that has its own Instagram account is nothing short of iconic. Covered in mismatched ornate gold mirrors, the Hauck’s bathroom is not one to sleep on. It might even make our list of most Instagrammable places in Louisville. Featuring exposed brick, exposed butts, and even a pup, give this account a scroll and count how many featured locals you went to high school with.
—Sydney
Catinna
LOCAL SHOPS
Best Bookstore
1. Carmichael’s Bookstore
2. Butcher Cabin Books
3. Set and Setting
Best Bourbon Store
1. Old Town Liquors
2. Neat
3. Total Wine & More | The Wine Rack
Best Chocolate/ Candy Shop
1. Muth’s Candies
2. Confections at Work the Metal
3. Art Eatables
EXTENSION
COUNTY DIRECTOR
JEFFERSON COUNTY RE47540
Deadline: 10/30/2024
Apply online at: https://ukjobs.uky.edu/553193
For assistance call: 502-569-2344
The
Hauck’s instagram
Best Men’s Clothing Boutique
1. Him & Her
2. Evolve
3. Fashion Post
Best New Store/ Business
1. 502 Thrifts
2. Surprise Lily Boutique
3. Really Good Vintage
Best Outdoor Sporting Goods Store
1. Quest Outdoors
2. Dick’s Sporting Goods
3. Cabela’s
Best Pet Shop
1. Feeders Supply
2. Sandy’s Pet Shop
3. The Dog Shop
Best Place to Buy Vape Products
1. One Love Cannabis Company
2. 502 Hemp
3. Trippys
Best Place to Buy a Plant
1. Above The Dirt Garden Shop
2. Mahonia
3. Pretty Decent
Best Place to Buy a Unique Gift
1. Work The Metal
2. One Love Cannabis Company
3. Aurora Gallery and Boutique
Best Record Store
1. Guestroom Records
2. Better Days Records
3. Derby City Market
BEST LOCAL CAT RESCUER
@camluvscats
Now, listen, I know there are a lot of cat lovers doing a lot of good in Louisville, but I’ve got to give credit where credit is due. Camrin is an animal lover who I met briefly when adopting from the Humane Society. I ended up following her on Instagram and I’m so glad I did. On her account, she shares inspiring stories of her rescued kitties, lets you get to know her adoptable fosters and partners with TNR (trap, neuter, release) groups like Alley Cat Advocates. Keep up the good work, Cam!
Best Tobacco Store
1. Kremer’s Smoke Shop
2. Cox’s Spirit Shoppe and Smoker’s Outlet
3. J. Shepherd Cigars
Best Vintage Clothing Store
1. 502 Thrifts
2. Derby City Market
3. Nitty Gritty
Best Wine Shop
1. The Wine Rack
2. The Breeze Wine Bar & Spirits
3. Total Wine & More
Best Women’s Clothing Boutique
1. Work The Metal
2. Surprise Lily Boutique
3. Dot Fox
—Sydney Catinna
Instagram
MOST IRRESPONSIBLE CHAMPAGNE LIST
Nouvelle
214 S. Clay St.
When it comes to Champagne, Nouvelle doesn’t play by the rules. That’s exactly why their “Completely Irresponsible Champagne List” is one for the books. Kentucky’s only Master of Champagne, John Grisanti, has put together a selection that’s as fun as it is sophisticated. From rare Grower Champagnes to playful bubbles perfect for any occasion, Nouvelle’s list encourages you to pop bottles for all the right (or wrong) reasons. Hey, no judgment here. Whether you’re celebrating or commiserating, once the cork is out, the only responsible thing to do is share. Santé!
Best
Instagram
1. Calospa Rejuvenation Center
2. Mays Plastic Surgery | The Spa at MPS
3. PG&J’s Dog Park Bar
Best Local Blog
1. 502 Hemp
2. State of Louisville
3. Women-Owned Wallet
Best Local Podcast
1. My Skeptical Sister
2. Hempin’ Happiness
3. The Ville Chillin Podcast
Best Local Publication
1. LEO Weekly
2. Sophisticated Living
3. State of Louisville
Best Local Radio Personality
1. Skinny J - Jim Coyle
2. Madeline Stout
3. Big Howell & Possum
Best Local Radio Station
1. LRS 102 The Walrus
2. 91.9 WFPK
3. 89.3 WFPL
Best Local TV Personality
1. Mike Marshall
2. Dawne Gee
3. Jude Redfield
Best Local TV Station
1. WDRB
2. WAVE3
3. WLKY
Best Local Writer
1. Leah Bomar Thompson
2. McKenna Graham
3. Maggie Menderski
Best Place to Pick up a LEO Weekly
1. ValuMarket - Highlands
2. Work The Metal
3. 502 Hemp
—Sydney Catinna
Nouvelle Instagram
NIGHTLIFE
BEST FOOD TOUR THAT EVEN LOCALS WILL LOVE
As a wanderlust-fueled travel junkie, one of my favorite ways to learn about a new city is on a food tour. So why not learn about my own city in the same way? I might be a born-and-raised Louisvillian, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t learn a thing or two (or more!) on Louisville Food Tours’ Phantoms of the Prohibition tour. Filled with cocktails, ghost stories, food, and good company, this is the perfect tour for spooky season, with or without your out-of-town friends!
Best Bar Scene
1. PLAY Louisville
2. Planet of the Tapes 3. ShopBar
Best Club DJ 1. DJ Syimone 2. DJ Sam Sneed 3. DJ Rob Matt Anthony
Best Gay Bar/Club
1. Big Bar 2. PLAY Louisville 3. Chill Bar
Best Happy Hour
1. ShopBar 2. Hereafter 3. Chill Bar
Best Neighborhood Bar/Pub 1. The Merryweather
Rubbies Southside Grill & Bar
ShopBar
Best New Bar/Club
Atomic
Hereafter
Bar Nada Nada
Best Place to Dance 1. PLAY Louisville 2. The Hub
Whirling Tiger
Best Place to Find a Date IRL
1. PLAY Louisville
2. Club K9 Dog Park & Bar
3. PG&J’s Dog Park Bar
Best Place to Shoot Pool
1. Barret Bar & Grill
2. The Fox Den
3. Railyard Billiards & Sports Pub
Best Strip Club
1. Thorobred Lounge
2. PT’s Showclub 3. Pussycat Lounge
Phantoms of the Prohibition Louisville Food Tours
—Sydney Catinna
Sydney Catinna
OUR DINING CRITIC’S TOP CARNIVOROUS DISH OF THE YEAR
Perso’s Three-Course Prix Fixe
741 E. Oak St.
Please, Mr. Food Critic, tell us the very best thing you had to eat this year! Oh, all right! This year that standout meal – in the carnivorous division, anyway – features three, three, three winners in one!
I’m talking about the three-course prix fixe dinner at Perso, Chef-owner Emil David’s creative Italian-accented eatery in Shelby Park. This culinary treat remains an affordable $29.
Here’s the tale of the treats: First, hearty pasta e fagioli married plump cranberry beans and fresh campanelle pasta in a thick tomato sauce topped with grated pecorino toscano cheese and snipped basil.
Next up, a luxurious osso buco was built on a braised grass-fed beef shank, a dark, intensely flavorful chunk of beef gently bathed in an intense stock reduction that blanketed the meat and pooled on the plate. Thick al dente asparagus spears and a pea tendril garnish completed this simple gift of a flawless dish.
Dessert, a decadent finish, was a fresh-baked “candy scone” filled with bits of Reese Cups, Twix, and other candies, finished with sweet mascarpone cheese and a caramel drizzle.
A portion of all Prix Fixe sales is given to Blessings in a Backpack, a worthy organization that helps feed local school children who suffer from food insecurity.
—Robin Garr
PLACES & ATTRACTIONS
Best Flea Market
Best Local Brewery
Best Local Distillery
Best Neighborhood
Best Place for Free Entertainment
1. Club K9 Dog Park & Bar
2. Waterfront Park
3. PG&J’S Dog Park Bar
Best Place for an Event/Party
1. Club K9 Dog Park & Bar
2. PG&J’S Dog Park Bar
3. Five Iron Golf
Best Place to Play Soccer
1. Beechmont Community Center
2. Mockingbird Valley
3. Lynn Family Stadium
Best Place to Play Trivia
1. Club K9 Dog Park & Bar
2. PG&J’S Dog Park Bar
3. Planet of the Tapes
Best Place to Swim
1. Lakeside Swim Club
2. Trager Family JCC
3. American Turners
Best Place to Take Kids in the Summer
1. Kentucky Science Center
2. The Louisville Zoo
3. Kentucky Kingdom
Best Place to Take Your Dog
1. Club K9 Dog Park & Bar
2. PG&J’S Dog Park Bar
3. Cherokee Park
Best Senior Living Community
1. Aero Club
2. Masonic Homes of Kentucky
3. The Forum at Brookside | Treyton Oak Towers
Robin Garr
OUR DINING CRITIC’S TOP PLANT-BASED DISH OF THE YEAR
Enso’s Vegan Yakisoba 1758 Frankfort Ave.
Recognizing the truth that plant-based dining is increasingly popular these days, whether it’s in the context of meatless Mondays or fulltime veganism, I try to offer both a toothsome meatless dish and a memorable meaty entree in every review.
That can get a little complicated at an old-school steakhouse or barbecue joint. But surprisingly, more and more restaurateurs are recognizing that it’s not just possible but a doable challenge to build an impressive plant-based dish that’s as creative and interesting as one fashioned from animal flesh.
This was a tough decision too, but I give the nod to Chef Lawrence Weeks’ Enso in Clifton. This popular new Japanese-Southern fusion dining room offers a roughly even split between meatful and meatless dishes. Consider yakisoba, a traditional and beloved Japanese street-food noodle dish that’s traditionally made with stir-fried pork, beef, or seafood with noodles. That’s a simple-sounding combination, but Enso’s plant-based and seemingly vegan yakisoba (now $28) shines in its balanced complexity. House-made white wheat noodles resembling pleasantly chewy linguine, were tender and soft. They were dressed with a mix of summer veggies – julienne zucchini, yellow squash, carrots, shiitake mushrooms and cut-up cabbage. I’m pretty sure I even saw some avocado slices in there. A thin but savory, umami-loaded brown sauce made the dish almost too good to resist.
Debra Locker Group
Amanda J. Designs
Lessons
1. Mom’s Music
2. Louisville Folk School
3. Doo Wop Shop
Best Plumber
1. Klein Plumbing
2. Durbin Plumbing
3. Charles Guelda and Sons Plumbing
Best Real Estate Team
1. Homepage Realty
2. First Saturday | Kentucky Select Properties
3. Keller Williams | Paige Is My Agent
Best Realtor
1. Paige Williams - Paige Is My Agent
2. Debbie Noe Brewer - Keller Williams
3. Kathryn Vaughn - Semonin Realtors
Best Roofer
1. Homestretch Roofing
2. HKC Roofing and Construction
3. Bone Dry Roofing
Best Vet Clinic
1. Livewell Animal Hospital
2. The Animal Hospital of the Highlands
3. Johnson Animal Clinic
Best Videographer
1. Kyle Gordon - Best Dad Media
2. Jaymen Kumar
3. Dave Woodland
—Robin Garr
Robin Garr
GROSSETERIA WILL OFFER WORLD FOOD (URP) DELIGHTS
Imagine, if you will, the next dining trend likely to show up in the most with-it neighborhood in our town. I’m talking about Grosseteria, offering an array of real world-food dishes that qualify as comfort food to those who grow up in places that treasure them. Many of us would not want to try them, right? Yet some people would surely run to be the first to Instagram a meal from there.
We’re not talking about simple stuff like strong, runny cheese, fried crickets or grasshoppers, or even Scottish black blood pudding. Nope. This is challenging fare that will put all but the strongest – or craziest – gourmands right off their feed. Let’s imagine just a few barely imaginable delicacies for Grosseteria’s unimaginable bill of fare, with a trigger warning for those easily, well, grossed out: Proceed with care.
Casu Marzu. Literally translated as “maggot cheese,” Sardinian Casu Marzu starts with simple, not-too-stinky Pecorino, but in the hands of Sardinia’s cheese makers it adds a level of grossness that’s hard to think about: Flies are invited into a waiting block of cheese, where they do their fly thing and quickly leave behind a flotilla of maggots that nibble their way through the cheese, turning it into a pungent, soupy goo that drives aficionados mad. Buon’ appetito!
Balut. This popular street-food item in the Philippines looks like a boiled egg, but it’s no ordinary egg. It’s a chicken or duck egg that’s not far short of hatching, simmered to cook the embryo in the shell. Filipino friends have told me that the crunchy beak and feet are the best parts, but they may have been pranking me. Hungry yet?
Hákarl, Move over, lutefisk: That beloved Norwegian delicacy pales in contrast with Hákarl, an Icelandic delicacy made by fermenting a decomposed shark carcass until it tastes like strong cheese and smells like urine. The ancient Vikings evolved the process out of necessity to fend off winter starvation. What got the Vikings through a Greenland winter is now a delicacy for their descendants. For the rest of us? Not so much.
—Robin Garr
FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
Week of October 9
ROB BREZSNY
ARIES (March 21-April 19): In the coming weeks, you may be tempted to spar and argue more than usual. You could get sucked into the fantasy that it would make sense to wrangle, feud, and bicker. But I hope you sublimate those tendencies. The same hot energy that might lead to excessive skirmishing could just as well become a driving force to create robust harmony and resilient unity. If you simply dig further into your psyche’s resourceful depths, you will discover the inspiration to bargain, mediate, and negotiate with élan. Here’s a bold prediction: Healing compromises hammered out now could last a long time.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Question #1: “What subjects do you talk about to enchant and uplift a person who’s important to you?”
Answer #1: “You talk about the feelings and yearnings of the person you hope to enchant and uplift.” Question #2: “How do you express your love with maximum intelligence?”
Answer #2: “Before you ask your allies to alter themselves to enhance your relationship, you ask yourself how you might alter yourself to enhance your relationship.” Question #3: “What skill are you destined to master, even though it’s challenging for you to learn?”
Answer #3: “Understanding the difference between supple passion and manic obsession.”
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): In 1819, Gemini entrepreneur Francois-Louis Cailler became the first chocolatier to manufacture chocolate bars. His innovation didn’t save any lives, cure any disease, or fix any injustice. But it was a wonderful addition to humanity’s supply of delights. It enhanced our collective joy and pleasure. In the coming months, dear Gemini, I invite you to seek a comparable addition to your own personal world. What novel blessing might you generate or discover? What splendid resource can you add to your repertoire?
CANCER (June 21-July 22): *Ayurnamat* is a word used by the Inuit people. It refers to when you long for the relaxed tranquility that comes from not worrying about what can’t be changed. You wish you could accept or even welcome the truth about provocative situations with equanimity. Now here’s some very good news, Cancerian. In the coming weeks, you will not just yearn for this state of calm, but will also have a heightened ability to achieve it. Congratulations! It’s a liberating, saint-like accomplishment.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Healing will be more available to you than usual. You’re extra likely to attract the help and insight you need to revive and restore your mind, soul, and body.
To get started, identify two wounds or discomforts you would love to alleviate. Then consider the following actions: 1. Ruminate about what helpers and professionals might be best able to assist you. Make appointments with them. 2. Perform a ritual in which you seek blessings from your liveliest spirit guides and sympathetic ancestors. 3. Make a list of three actions you will take to make yourself feel better. 4. Treat this process not a somber struggle, but as a celebration of your mounting vitality.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): The Beatles were the best-selling band of all time and among the most influential, too. Their fame and fortune were well-earned. Many of the 186 songs they composed and recorded were beautiful, interesting, and entertaining. Yet none of four members of the band could read music. Their brilliance was intuitive and instinctual. Is there a comparable situation in your life, Virgo? A task or skill that you do well despite not being formally trained? If so, the coming months will be a good time to get better grounded. I invite you to fill in the gaps in your education.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): In 2010, Edurne Pasaban became the first woman to climb the world’s tallest 14 mountains, reaching the top of Shishapangma in China. In 2018, Taylor Demonbreun arrived in Toronto, Canada, completing a quest in which she visited every sovereign nation on the planet in 18 months. In 1924, explorer Alexandra David-Néel pulled off the seemingly impossible feat of visiting Lhasa, Tibet, when that place was still forbidden to foreigners. Be inspired by these heroes as you ruminate about what frontier adventures you will dare to enjoy during the next six months. Design a plan to get all the educational and experimental fun you need.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Alnwick Garden is an unusual network of formal gardens in northeast England. Among its many entertaining features is the Poison Garden, which hosts 100 species of toxic and harmful plants like hemlock, strychnine, and deadly nightshade. It’s the most popular feature by far. Visitors enjoy finding out and investigating what’s not good for them. In accordance with astrological omens, Scorpio, I invite you to use this as an inspirational metaphor as you take inventory of influences that are not good for you. Every now and then, it’s healthy to acknowledge what you don’t need and shouldn’t engage with.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Sagittarian Tom Rath is an inspirational author who at age 49 has managed to stay alive even though he
has wrangled with a rare disease since he was 16. He writes, “This is what I believe we should all aim for: to make contributions to others’ lives that will grow infinitely in our absence. A great commonality we all share is that we only have today to invest in what could outlive us.” That’s always good advice for everyone, but it’s especially rich counsel for you Sagittarians in the coming months. I believe you will have a special capacity to dispense your best gifts those who need and want them.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Capricorn writer Susan Sontag was a public intellectual. She was an academic with a scholarly focus and an entertaining commentator on the gritty hubbub of popular culture. One of my favorite quotes by her is this one: “I like to feel dumb. That’s how I know there’s more in the world than me.” In other words, she made sure her curiosity and open-mindedness flourished by always assuming she had much more to learn. I especially recommend this perspective to you in the coming weeks.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): The Salem Witch Trials took place in Massachusetts from 1692 to 1693. They were ignorant, superstitious prosecutions of people accused of practicing witchcraft. The modern holiday known as Freethought Day happens every October 12, the anniversary of the last witch trial. The purpose of this jubilee is to encourage us to treasure objective facts, to love using logic and reason, and to honor the value of critical thinking. It’s only observed in America now, but I propose we make it a global festival. You Aquarians are my choice to host this year’s revelries in celebration of Freethought Day. You are at the peak of your ability to generate clear, astute, liberating thoughts. Show us what it looks like to be a lucid, unbiased observer of reality.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): A YouTube presenter named Andy George decided to make a chicken sandwich. But he didn’t buy the ingredients in a store. He wanted to make the sandwich from scratch. Over the next six months, he grew wheat, ground it into flour, and used it to bake bread. He milked a cow to make cheese and butter. He got sea salt from ocean water and grew a garden of lettuce, cucumber, tomato, and dill for toppings. Finally, he went to a farm, bought a chicken, and did all that was necessary to turn the live bird into meat for the sandwich. In describing his process, I’m not suggesting you do something similar. Rather, I’m encouraging you to be thorough as you solidify your foundations in the coming months. Gather resources you will need for long-term projects. Be a connoisseur of the raw materials that will assure future success in whatever way you define success.
Homework: What have you denied yourself even though it would be good for you? Write a note giving yourself permission.
STRUGGLE SESSIONS
BY DAN SAVAGE
Dear Readers: It’s my birthday this week — thank you very much — and I’ve retreated to a secret, undisclosed location (with my boyfriend! without Internet access!) to ignore, er, celebrate the occasion. So, in place of a regular column (reader questions, columnist answers) below you’ll find some questions I posted to Struggle Session, the weekly column where I respond to comments from my readers and listeners, along with some of the advice my readers had for the letter writers. “Never read the comments” is standard advice for anyone who goes online — and it’s damn good advice —but Savage.Love is exception to that rule: it’s the one and only place online where you should read the comments, thanks to the wonderful community there. — Dan
Hey Dan: I’m (39F) dating a guy (34M) who is really wonderful. In his conservative home country, he was quite the Casanova, didn’t want to marry, and managed instead to have a pretty *ahem* robust dating life. Here’s the issue. He shared with me that when he was 32, he slept with a girl who was 16 or 17 years old. He had been her teacher when she was in elementary school. When they met again at 16/17, she was already married and pursued him because she didn’t like her husband (who was even older than him). He said he was only with her twice and then they broke it off.
I have no reason to doubt him because he openly shared this with me, and he clearly didn’t understand that by US standards, this is not ok. When I explained this to him (also noted that it was almost certainly illegal in the US) he instantly understood. I’m struggling with this because it’s not ok due to her and his age at the time, plus the power dynamic difference. But by his culture’s standards, the only issue was she was a woman sleeping with a man who wasn’t her husband. I appreciate that cultural differences have some major implications here, and he seems to be very clear on how this would be regarded in the US. I’m just trying to sort my feelings out around this. Help?
— Dating Is Flummoxing Feelings Somewhat
No one else should tell you how you’re supposed to feel about something. You feel what you feel. So, if what you’re feeling right now is just a little “Hmm, this is weird,” then you can put it in your memory hole, let the past be the past, try not to bring it up with him again, and it probably won’t come up in conversation.
If what you’re feeling right now is more intense, then probably it’s best to end the relationship. There may be other factors making this revelation uncomfortable for you, maybe subconsciously. There will likely be other things you find
about his culture, the parts of the worldview that he still stands up for or sees as defensible, that are incompatible with your worldview. If it were me, I’d drop the subject. But then, for me, I don’t see the American view of age and sexuality as an eternal truth, just where we set the bar. It’s not as though someone magically changes into a consent-capable adult at 12:01 AM on their 18th birthday. We set the age of consent as a safeguard, because relationships across those lines are likely to be coercive, but I don’t think that means any and all relationships across that line are coercive and nonconsensual. — Andrew
I can’t figure out what DIFFS wants or why. Does she want her boyfriend to understand or acknowledge that in our culture, a 32-year-old man having sex with a 16-17-year-old is not only unethical, but illegal? It seems as though he gets that, at least now that she’s explained it to him. Does she want an excuse to dump him or to think poorly of him? What kinds of feelings does she want to sort out?
The best I can make out, she wants to disapprove of him because he so flagrantly offended a cultural norm in her (and our) culture. But she wants to be open-minded enough to understand that in his culture of origin, the issues we would take may not be relevant. But then what? Yes, he did something we frown upon here. Although it was a non-issue to him at the time, based on his different cultural norms, he understands why it would be troubling to his US girlfriend. Does she require some sort of penance on his part so that she can give herself permission to continue dating him and considering him a “wonderful” guy? Does she think that if her friends or family knew about this episode in his past, they’d be unable to get past it and would judge her harshly for being willing to be with a man who’d do that? — NoCuteName
Sixteen is the age of consent in most US states, so this would not have been “almost certainly illegal in the US.” In fact, it would have been legal, if considered creepy, in most of the US. You say your boyfriend understands that by more progressive standards, this wasn’t OK. Like Dan says in this column, men are pigs; you know this already. This one seems to know that what he did in this situation was not OK, that’s why he confessed this particular hookup to you. People make mistakes, DIFFS! Look at your past and answer genuinely, is there nothing you ever did when you were younger that squicks you out today? Give him the absolution he seeks and move on.
BiDanFan
—
Hey Dan: My oldest friend has an extremely hard time cleaning herself and keeping her house sanitary. She weighs probably in 600 pounds range at this point, which she is happy with, and I couldn’t care less about, but it does make it hard for her to clean and do day-to-day tasks. The thing that has me writing is that she smells bad. I believe this is mostly because she has a hard time wiping and cleaning herself. But the smell is sometimes unbearable, and I’ve found myself avoiding her because it makes me sick to my stomach, especially when it comes to sharing food together.
My friend has a significant history of trauma, which
makes this a “handle with care” situation. I can’t just say to her, “You stink, let’s figure this out together.” I wish I could go in and clean her house for her — and I would be willing — but she would be mortified to know I think her home is filthy. Instead, I keep finding reasons to not visit or not to stay long when I do. And it’s heartbreaking because I love this person so much and want to be close to her. I would love some advice.
— A Longtime Friend
I think you either distance yourself because you can’t stand it and you don’t want to offend them by admitting their lack of hygiene offends you, or you intervene, respectfully and openly, and deal with the consequences of your own decision. Is the smell from her, from stuff (old food? dead mice?) in her home, or something particular that can be addressed? At some point it’s a health hazard for her.
But trauma notwithstanding, if it’s that bad, she deserves to know and not just get ghosted, which may be easier on you but would suck for her, as you already know. You can’t make her glad to be told it’s gross, so don’t try to control her feelings. It’s already bad for her now, so you would not be making things worse for her, you’d just be exposing yourself to a share of the bad stuff (and it’s entirely legitimate to not want to do that, just saying, you’re not obligated to be a martyr OR a savior).
But if you do want to stay in touch, how much worse are you prepared to let it get? — SloMoPoMo
I’m guessing that ALF’s friend doesn’t get many visitors and possibly has few if any other friends, because unfortunately most people do negatively judge those who have obesity problems.
(Nova has a great episode, “The Truth about Fat”, which explains why being overweight is not just a matter of lack of willpower.) And at 600 lbs., it’s likely ALF’s friend isn’t able to get out and about much, if at all. So, better for ALF to risk hurting her friend’s feelings with a frank, empathetic talk than to end up rarely or never visiting. Loneliness could lead to even more overeating or even worse consequences. This won’t be easy for ALF, but love often involves doing difficult things. — Murial
Has she asked outright? If so, maybe you do owe her radical honesty. If not, then you’re offering unsolicited advice, which isn’t always bad, but more often than not. Or is she doing the hinting and subtle bemoaning that is essential a soft ask, without the commitment?
It feels complicated to tell your friend that they smell without volunteering to help her solve that problem. Which gets especially complicated if she doesn’t have the money to hire someone to help and there aren’t robust social services in her area. I think many of us would be willing to pitch in to help a friend with a massive project, like a thorough cleaning, once a year or so, but to commit to helping once a month (or more!) will get draining. And if part of her issue is literally cleaning herself—that’s a much bigger strain on the bonds of friendship. So, if there are social services or if she has the money, then there is more reason to bring these things up than if there aren’t. Finally, phone calls, emails, texting are all ways to stay in contact without visiting. As is asking to
meet away from her house, in open air, weather permitting. These don’t solve her problems, but they might help mitigate your problems.
— Zoftig the Magnificent
Hey Dan: I’m a 36-year-old old bisexual woman and I need some advice. My partner is a 38-year-old heterosexual man, and we have been together for 13 years. The sex in the relationship has been in a swift decline for the last eight years. It’s always been a sore point, as my sex drive is a lot higher than his, but two months ago we decided to open up the relationship. It was a good talk, and I think we made some real progress getting our feelings out on the table. We made some ground rules: 1. We wouldn’t use our own home to meet up with people and 2. we wouldn’t have sex with anyone in our friend circle. He said didn’t want to know about any hookups I might have but I took the opposite position: I like hearing his sex stories and it would make me happy to know he’s getting the attention I think he deserves. A week ago, I started talking to a guy who’s also in an open relationship. We agreed to meet up and have a chat. Things went well, and we ended up having some fun at his place. I kept it all to myself, honoring my partner’s request.
This is where things get confusing. I think I might be numb, since this only happened last night. I had my best friend over. We were drinking, laughing, and having a good time listening to smutty audiobooks. Now when I get too drunk, I become quiet and somewhat unresponsive, but I don’t pass out. I’m aware of my surroundings. So, when I heard my partner say “let’s take to the bedroom” to my friend, I froze under the blanket on the couch. My partner then proceeded to take my best friend — who is in a monogamous long-term relationship — to our bedroom and have sex with her with the door ajar. From my position on the couch, I could hear her moaning. Later, he cleaned himself up and “woke me” and took me to bed. This morning, we all had coffee and then we dropped my girlfriend at her place. Neither of them said a word to me about their encounter.
I don’t know how to feel about this. I just feel empty. Should I be angry? Hurt? Upset? Should I bring this up with either of them? Give me some advice please, Dan.
— Here’n Uncharted Relationship Territory
Dan here: To find out what my readers had to say to HURT — to read some truly great advice — check out the latest installment of Struggle Session at Savage.Love. And if you wanna join our wonderful, informative, funny, and compassionate conversation about love and sex, jump into the comment threads at Savage.Love. New columns and podcasts go up every Tuesday and new Struggle Sessions go up every Thursday. See you in the comments!
P.S. No birthday presents, please, as I already have everything a man could possibly want… well, everything except a picture of your boyfriend’s butt. You can fix that by sending a pic to mail@ savage.love with “birthday butt” in the subject line.
Got problems? Yes, you do! Email your question for the column to mailbox@savage.love! Or record your question for the Savage Lovecast at savage.love/askdan!
BREAKOUT PERFORMANCE
BY JEREMY NEWTON AND TRACY GRAY
PUZZLES EDITED BY JOEL FAGLIANO
Jeremy Newton, of Austin, Texas, works as an engineering manager for a mobile-game company. Tracy Gray, of Hunt Valley, Md., recently retired from the lawn and landscaping business. They found that coming up with suitable answers to complete the interlocking shaded squares was themost satisfying part of making this puzzle, as well as the most difficult and time-consuming.
Across
1 One getting into some hot water?
7 Home monitors
11 Data sought in phishing attempts, in brief
15 Thus far
21 Cry from a treehouse
22 Doesn’t rule out, as a possibility
24 Wrinkle-free, say
25 Turned on an axis
26 Real no-brainer?
27 Colorful ingredients in some cookie recipes
28 Trash
29 Reef lurker
31 Ways off
32 Part of H.M.S.
34 Word with body or blood
35 Texter’s alternative to an eye-roll emoji
36 Olympians on stunt bikes,
38 Genre for Fall Out Boy
41 U.S. currency: Abbr.
42 Negative influence on others, metaphorically
44 Expressed
47 To sweeten the deal
49 Declines to
50 Houdini’s signature feat or a hint to the circled squares in this puzzle
53 Basis for a feud
54 Rudder found in nature
57 ‘‘Bad luck, I guess. It was my turn, that’s all. I was in the path of the ____’’ (quote from 18-Down)
58 Became stuck
61 ‘‘This is the worst!’’
62 Receptacle for soaking before a pedicure
64 Brainy bunch
66 Electronica pioneer Brian
67 Bulgarian or Bosnia
69 Rap group inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame
70 The White House grounds have 18 of them
72 Some online pings, in brief
73 ‘‘Yo!’’ on the down-low
74 Lightning-fast hedgehog of video games
76 What ‘‘washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life,’’ per Picasso
78 Lane for carpoolers
79 Six-foot-tall Aussie sprinter
80 Grows dimmer
81 ‘‘Are you drive?’’
82 Certain online video snippet
85 Downwind, to seafarers
86 ‘‘Breaking Bad’’ channel
88 Fastener that’s one letter ahead of ‘‘U-bolt’’ in the dictionary
89 Org. with the Artemis program
90 Office-building unit: Abbr.
91 What a police escort may offer
95 Classic cover-ups for spies
100 Fumble or bumble
101 Card game with a Power Grab edition
102 ‘‘Good joke!’’
103 Red side, in brief
104 Indecency
108 Female in the forest
111 ‘‘Like that matters to me!’’
114 Stage a jailbreak à la 18-Down
115 Annual May race, familiarly 116 Held together in a makeshift way
117 Wraps
118 Sizable challenge for a mover
119 Make a break for it 120 Yearn (for) 121 Swain
122 Parts of N.F.L. highlight reels, for short
123 This really blows!
124 Airport monitor, for short
125 Razz
126 Pennzoil competitor
Down
1 Exceeds 21, in blackjack
2 Poise under pressure
3 With 6-Down, prison drama released on Sept. 23, 1994 4 Hacks with an ax 5 Ahead of, in poetry
6 See 3-Down
7 Instrument strummed in the Train song ‘‘Hey, Soul Sister’’ 8 Popular gala venue, with ‘‘the’’
9 Sneaky (sly dogs)
10 Glasses, informally
11 Like cashmere
12 Imagine, casually
13 Prefix with -lithic
14 16-time gig for Steve Martin 15 Portrayer of 18-Down 16 ‘‘Cup cone?’’ 17 Terse admonishment 18 Lead role in 3-Down/6-Down 19 They’re measured in beats per minute
20 Famed Ford flop 23 Honorific from Sanskrit 30 Date on a debit card: Abbr. 33 Pollution-regulating org. 36 Resort town in Alberta’s Rockies 37 Kicks back 39 ‘‘The Heart of Georgia’’
40 ____ Corner, section of Westminster Abbey
43 ‘‘What was I thinking!?’’
44 Fall accessory?
45 Bygone channel that launched with the two-hour pilot of ‘‘Star Trek: Voyager’’
46 4x100 relay, for one
48 Org. with Student Success Grants
51 América (quadrennial soccer championship)
52 Juice drinks
54 To-do
55 Yeti’s commercial rival
56 ‘‘Ain’t gonna happen!’’
58 Overplay
59 Erase from one’s memory, in slang
60 Target audience for ‘‘Peppa Pig’’
63 Decks with cards numbered I through XXI
65 Apelike
68 Curriculum
71 Take inventory?
73 Prefix with -lithic
75 Make sense
77 Ingredient in a niçoise salad
79 Conditional word
80 ‘‘Hey, I’m walkin’ here!’’
83 Harbor helper
84 It might get booted
87 Main blvd. through N.Y.C.’s Chinatown
90 Treated unfairly, informally
91 The swans in ‘‘The Twelve Days of Christmas,’’ e.g.
