Photo by Steve Neavling
NEWS & VIEWS
Feedback
We received comments in response to Steve Neavling’s cover story, “The Closer: Part I,” about Barbara Simon. A former detective for the Detroit Police Department, Simon is accused of using deceptive and coercive interrogation techniques to lock up young men, some of whom are still behind bars and maintain their innocence. The story continues this week in Part II.
This is nothing new and not isolated. It’s been happening for decades and in every county. Hence the disproportionate number of African Americans behind bars.
—Janet Marie Brooks,
Bet if you cross-matched your investigation with that of WXYZ investigators, you’d find the same group — a Venn diagram — of the prosecutors, police leaders, and judges who could have stopped her and others LIKE HER (since she only stopped by retiring in 2021).—@DetroitJCS, X
This was the most messed up thing I have read in a while. The “criminal justice system” is terrifying and so broken. I am without words. —@econwithelise, X
Wow. THIS IS JOURNALISM! —@EdwardsChild, X
Is there a podcast in the future? —@Mmathes313Mary
EMPLOYMENT
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NEWS & VIEWS
Massive military exercise starts in Michigan this week
One of the Department of Defense’s largest reserve component readiness exercises is coming to Michigan for two weeks beginning Saturday.
Northern Strike (NS) 24-2 will run from Aug. 3-17 and include more than 6,300 participants from 32 states and territories and five international partners.
The participants will gather for extensive training at Michigan’s National All-Domain Warfighting Center (NADWC), which encompasses the Camp Grayling Joint Maneuver Training Center, the Alpena Combat Readiness Training Center, and their associated airspace.
This year’s focus will be on expeditionary skills, command and control, sustainment, and joint integrated fires.
The summer iteration of this annual exercise will incorporate scenarios
involving homeland security and defense against unmanned aerial systems. Maritime training will concentrate on protecting high-value assets, fixing, tracking, and engaging targets in littoral and open water environments. Additionally, the Joint Personnel Recovery Agency will test new combat search, rescue, and recovery systems during the exercise.
Northern Strike is recognized as the premier reserve component training event designed to enhance readiness across joint and partner forces in all domains of warfare. The NADWC includes the Camp Grayling Joint Maneuver Training Center, the Alpena Combat Readiness Training Center, and their associated airspace. Training will also occur in locations such as Lake Huron, Rogers City Quarry, Battle Creek, MBS International Airport, Oscoda-Wurtsmith Airfield, and
K.I. Sawyer Airfield in Marquette.
“This year’s schedule of NS training events reflects Michigan’s and the NADWC’s capabilities to support Department of Defense objectives,” U.S. Army Maj. Gen. Paul D. Rogers, adjutant general and director of the Michigan Department of Military and Veterans Affairs, said in a statement Monday. “We take pride in our ability to improve the exercise design each year, integrating innovative technologies and solutions into dynamic training to meet the needs of commanders across all domains of warfare.”
Since its inception in 2012, Northern Strike has grown into a joint, multinational exercise program. It provides participating units with robust, scenario-based, full-spectrum readiness training, allowing them to complete mission-essential tasks. Sponsored by the Army National Guard and ac-
Detroit has some of the ‘riskiest’ drivers in the U.S.
Apparently the Motor City is home to some of the country’s lousiest drivers.
While not at the very bottom, Detroit was recently ranked 85th out of 100 major U.S. cities based on driving behaviors in a
study conducted by Allstate.
Honolulu, Hawaii had the safest driving behavior overall, followed by Minneapolis, Seattle, Portland, and Virginia Beach. On the other end of the spectrum, Albuquerque, New Mexico had the riskiest drivers.
Rankings were determined by metrics such as hard braking, high speeds, and phone usage while driving.
Grand Rapids, the only other Michigan city on the list, ranked even worse than Detroit, at 92nd.
credited as a Joint National Training Capability (JNTC) exercise, Northern Strike offers cost-effective readiness opportunities for all services.
“Northern Strike is unique not only because of the integration of defense innovators and academia but also because the exercise reflects the changes service members are seeing on the modern battlefield,” said Col. Todd Fitzpatrick, land exercise director for NS. “For instance, our Air Defense scenario was created from lessons learned from recent drone attacks in the Middle East.”
In addition to enhancing national defense capabilities, Northern Strike provides a significant economic boost to the local economy, contributing an average of $38 million annually in military pay, travel, and local spending in northern lower Michigan.
—Steve Neavling
The biggest factors contributing to Detroit’s ranking were hard braking and speeding, whereas Grand Rapids has a very high speeding rank. However, Detroit did rank relatively high for minimal phone usage while driving.
Still, we should do better and drive safer.
—Layla McMurtrie
Since its inception in 2012, Northern Strike has grown into a joint, multinational exercise program.
STAFF
Tlaib slams Netanyahu’s congressional address
U.S. Rep. Rashida Tlaib criticized her colleagues for hosting Israel Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, who visited the U.S. last week for an address last Wednesday.
“Netanyahu is a war criminal committing genocide against the Palestinian people,” said Tlaib, the lone Palestinian American in Congress. “It is utterly disgraceful that leaders from both parties have invited him to address Congress. He should be arrested and sent to the International Criminal Court.”
The address comes as Israel’s U.S.-supported attacks on Gaza have resulted in nearly 40,000 Palestinian deaths since October 2023, including more than 15,000 children, though a recent study in the journal Lancet estimated the toll could be as high as 186,000.
Earlier this year, the International Criminal Court issued a request for arrest warrants for Netanyahu and Israeli Defence Minister Yoav Gallant, as well as for three Hamas leaders in Gaza.
In her statement, Tlaib also pointed out that the U.S. has provided more than $141 billion in weapons to Israel, including $17.9 billion since Octo -
ber — despite the reports coming out of Gaza showing attacks on refugee camps and mass graves.
“These are undeniably war crimes under international law,” Tlaib said.
“Make no mistake: this event is a celebration of the ethnic cleansing of Palestinians,” she added. “It is a sad day for our democracy when my colleagues will smile for a photo op with a man who is actively committing genocide. It is hypocritical to claim to be concerned about the massive death toll of in-
Metro Times partners with Detroit Story Fest
An upcoming event will offer a behind-the-scenes look at some of the biggest stories in Detroit, and Metro Times is one of the newsrooms participating.
Detroit Story Fest is set for Thursday, Oct. 10 at the DIA’s Detroit Film Theatre.
Our reporter Steve Neavling will join journalists from the Detroit Free Press, Michigan Public Radio, BridgeDetroit, WDET, Chalkbeat Detroit, Planet Detroit, Model D, and more.
For the event, Neavling plans to talk about a yearlong investigative project he did for his website Motor City Muckraker on chronic problems at the Detroit Fire Department. During that time he worked for free, spending 14 hours a day going to fires, listening to the scanner, interviewing firefighters and fire vic-
tims, and reviewing public records.
After the series was published Mayor Mike Duggan terminated the fire commissioner, launched a program to fix fire hydrants, and purchased a new fleet of fire engines and ladder trucks.
“Very few people know about the wild, behind-the-scenes stories of this project,” Neavling says. “I’m excited to reveal just how bizarre and affirming this experience was. I was evicted from my apartment and often had to choose between food and gas, but I came out of it with a profound appreciation for journalism and Detroiters.”
Early bird tickets to the live show are only $17 and available from Eventbrite at bit.ly/46nubIn. (Metro Times earns a commission from all sales using this link.)
—Lee DeVito
nocent civilians, and then turn around and welcome the person responsible for these war crimes to our Capitol. Their silence is betrayal, and history will remember them accordingly. Our government must stop supporting and funding this genocide now.”
Earlier this month, President Joe Biden dropped out of the 2024 election due to declining health, though he has promised to spend the remainder of his term on ending the war. The Democratic Party’s presumptive nominee,
Vice President Harris, has reportedly said that she believes the U.S. should be “tougher” on Netanyahu and show more concern for the Palestinian people.
Tlaib, who has family in Palestine, is also the only member of the progressive “Squad” in Congress to not yet endorse Harris for president. Instead, Tlaib has said she is “eager” to speak to Harris about “an end to the funding of genocide in Gaza.”
—Lee DeVito
The Peach Cobbler Factory opens downtown
One of the fastest-growing chains in the nation, renowned for its super sweet Southern-style desserts, has finally arrived in Detroit.
The Peach Cobbler Factory Detroit, located downtown at 1300 Broadway St., celebrated its grand opening on July 6 and has already been featured on The Food Network. It has also served celebrities like Mike Epps, Jalen Rose, and former Piston Lindsay Hunter.
Founded by a Nashville couple in 2013, the Peach Cobbler Factory has expanded to almost 100 locations across nearly 20 states. The menu boasts a variety of sweet and savory cobblers paired with ice cream, banana pudding, cinnamon rolls, Belgian waffles, and more. Specialty drinks include the house-made
Sweet Peachy Tea and Cold Rush Cold Brew Coffee.
The Detroit franchise is owned by local entrepreneurs Eric Slater Jr., Darius Ellis, and Delance Wilson. When the location was announced in 2022, a Restaurant News press release revealed that the owners also secured franchise rights for four additional locations in Oakland County.
Michigan currently has just one other Peach Cobbler Factory location, which opened in 2023 at 7237 Canton Center Rd. in Canton, but more may be on the way soon.
For more information on The Peach Cobbler Factory Detroit, see peachcobblerfactory.com or @cobblerboyz313 on Instagram.
—Layla McMurtrie
The lone Palestinian American in Congress said the Israeli prime minister should be arrested for war crimes.
People Mover to shut down for repairs
An average of 4,000 passengers ride Detroit’s People Mover every day. In September, the 2.9-mile, oneway rail system in downtown Detroit will shut down to replace a portion of original tracks that are 37 years old. Beginning after Labor Day, construction is estimated to last around 11 weeks, with a planned reopening in November before Thanksgiving Day.
Almost 7,000 feet of rail — about 20% of the track — is being replaced
on nine curves and connecting straight sections along the Detroit People Mover route. The rest of the system has either been replaced in previous projects or will be in the near future.
The upcoming track replacement project is estimated to cost $4.985 million, “funded through federal and state grants,” according to the People Mover’s website.
Replacing the tracks will not only ensure safe, reliable operation, but will
also produce “a smoother and quieter ride.” The project will also extend the life of the system’s infrastructure and improve passenger experience.
The new rail sections are expected to have a lifespan of at least 15-30 years.
Throughout the past two years, the People Mover has been updated with new branding, logos, and station exteriors. Plus, the system has been free to ride since the start of 2024, which was recently extended to the end of 2025.
Detroit Institute of Bagels closes indefinitely
Beloved bagel shop Detroit Institute of Bagels is closing once again, and this time it may never be the same.
After closing its Corktown location in 2020 following seven successful years, owner Ben Newman reopened the shop in early 2023 in Detroit’s Core City, taking over the former Ochre Bakery space.
However, on July 14, Newman sent an email to employees informing them that he had sold Detroit Institute of Bagels to Philip Kafka, a real estate developer known for repurposing vacant buildings in the area. And, he would be taking over the next day, reported BridgeDetroit
Due to little communication about the quick sale alongside Kafka’s business reputation among some as a “gentrifier,” more than half of the staff quit within a week, according to Bridge-
Detroit
When asked for comment, a representative for Kafka shared an email from a worker.
“You’re embarrassingly out-of-touch with what Detroit (and the world more broadly) needs,” one former employee said in an email. “Your obsession with the working class, while you maintain a position exploiting it, and brag about never having had to stoop to taking a job, makes me sick to my stomach to think about.”
The following Monday, Kafka emailed the remaining employees announcing that the bagel shop would be closing its doors, effective immediately.
The email stated, “To be clear, you no longer have the chance for employment at the business, as the business can’t operate without the key participants who have recently resigned. I was look-
ing forward to working with everyone to continue offering the energy, value, bagels and bread that DIB was known for, and I regret that we never even got a chance to properly meet.”
Through the representative, Kafka says that the remaining employees were laid off, though “a handful of employees will continue on in the next iteration of DIB.” The new owner also says he is working out a solution to employ the team members who did not resign via his company Prince Concepts.
Former employees told BridgeDetroit that the bagel shop was a great place to work, but described Kafka’s purchase as a “takeover,” noting that things immediately took a turn for the worse, including changes being made without communication and no effort to meet the staff.
Kafka, however, says he made many
During the track replacement, stations will host special experiences at the street level with local business partners. Events will include opportunities for the People Mover team to learn from the community how the system can be an even better part of downtown when it reopens and for years to come.
Regular updates on events and details of the construction project will be available at thepeoplemover.com.
—Layla McMurtrie
attempts to schedule group and oneon-one meetings with team members following Newman’s notification of ownership transfer. Emails show that some staff members responded to say they could not make the meeting due to short notice.
Another email from Kafka to staff states, “There won’t be any fast changes, we will learn from you all, and work together, at the right pace, to grow naturally.”
Previous owner Newman stated that, after funding the shop with his personal savings and working unpaid for over a year, he sold to Kafka believing it was the most stable choice to save the shop and people’s jobs.
Unfortunately, that doesn’t seem to be the case. Future plans for the D.I.B. have not yet been announced.
—Layla McMurtrie
The People Mover will shut down for 11 weeks in the fall.
NEWS & VIEWS
Lapointe
Building the bus while riding it
By Joe Lapointe
The ride from downtown Detroit to Metro Airport was perfect. The big bus left on time. It arrived on time. The price was right. The vehicle was clean. The driver was courteous to passengers and careful behind the wheel.
The drop-off point was ideal, too, mere steps from the door of the departure level of the McNamara terminal. The trip was smooth and quiet. In fact, a little too quiet. Although the bus held about 50 passenger seats, only seven were filled on the ride to the airport; on the return trip, just six.
“We’re starting to build it, piece by piece,” says Ben Stupka, executive director of the Regional Transit Authority of Southeast Michigan. He is speaking of both the airport bus service specifically and of regional transit in general.
“We’re working to run it for at least a year,” he says of the airport bus. “We’ll see how that service goes. And, if it’s successful . . . expand.”
Stupka is one of those optimistic visionaries trying to build a mass transit consciousness in a Motor City region that has rejected such thinking for decades. Although some bus lines on the west side already stopped at the airport, this “DAX Detroit” (Detroit Air Express) line was established in the spring to provide direct, non-stop service from downtown.
I took it both ways last Thursday, starting on Washington Boulevard, across
the street from the Westin Book Cadillac hotel and around the corner from the Rosa Parks transit center. Technically, the fare is $8, although there is a $2 discount for online booking. Senior fare is $4 and the driver took cash.
During the lull between rides, I shopped comparative fares back to downtown from the airport. The guy at the “Metro Cars” desk told me the downtown fare was $65; the guy at the “Metro Cab” desk said his rate was $50. All things considered, the DAX bus seemed like the best deal.
In addition, the DAX bus includes a rest room and charging ports at the seats to add juice to your cell phone battery. They store your luggage in a cargo hold. The bus stops at both terminals. The service runs seven days a week with 16 trips each day, each way.
But, how many customers are making the trip?
“About 150 a day, it’s pretty steady,” Stupka says in a telephone interview.
“About 4,000 a month. It’s exceeded expectations. Pickups are even, in and out.”
Stupka says more riders than expected have been people who work at the airport. Demographic surveys are on the way, he says. The route is funded under a federal grant of more than $1.5 million, he says, administered by the Southeast Michigan Council of Governments in a carbon reduction program.
But what about the bigger picture?
Big cities like Atlanta, for instance, have a rapid transit train system that goes directly to the airport for a $2.50 fare. In addition, the system serves the whole city and its suburbs. New York, San Francisco, Boston, and Washington are among cities with rail transit.
But not Detroit, which abandoned its streetcar system in the mid-1950s. Detroit-area streets, as local commuters all know, are designed in a “spokes-of-awheel” pattern with big medians down some major roads like Woodward and Gratiot in the suburbs.
While sometimes confusing to drivers, the layout would seem ideal for surfacelevel rapid rail transit, the way other cities built their systems in the 20th Century. But Stupka sees a broader need for 21st Century solutions.
“We’ll have to retrofit to development patterns of our communities,” he says. That means more and better buses and more “flex bus” service and on-demand pickups. He is not against rail transit, he says, but solutions must be diverse.
Stupka took his current position last January, but has worked with the RTA since 2015. He is a graduate of Birmingham Seaholm High School and Michigan State University with a postgraduate degree in urban planning from the University of Michigan.
In addition to the DAX line to the air-
port, Stupka’s agency also has operated for three years a non-stop bus service between Ann Arbor and downtown Detroit. On Oct. 1, the RTA will take over the operation of Detroit’s QLine (the M-1) that carries passengers by train for free up and down Woodward to the New Center. Before considering expansion of it, Stupka says, his group will prioritize efforts to solve current problems, like people parking their cars on the train tracks, a perfect example of the Motor City mentality that the RTA is trying to change.
Other challenges seem more mundane but still important. For instance: Stupka would like to put a bus shelter for the DAX airport line near the downtown pickup point. But that involves several layers of bureaucracy.
“If you are going to put a pole in the ground you might have to do an archeology review,” he says.
After that comes environmental studies. Will the shelter block a view of an historic building? And what impact would a bus shelter have on curb parking?
All in a day’s work for a busy man with an important and necessary task. In that “a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step,” the RTA is taking hopeful steps. Its wheels are turning. Let’s stop throwing mass transit under the bus.
The new DAX Detroit line aims to change car culture in the Motor City.
JOE LAPOINTE
THE CLOSER: PART II
Activists call for a review of all cases tied to a Detroit detective who terrorized young men to get false confessions
By Steve Neavling
Part two of a series about wrongful convictions in
Detroit detective Barbara Simon was accused for years of coercing and lying to suspects and witnesses, often confining them to tiny rooms for hours and depriving them of attorneys, even though she didn’t have an arrest warrant. Defense lawyers and exonerees suspect that detectives like Simon were more worried about closing cases than catching the actual killers. In the 1990s and early 2000s, with shootings making daily headlines, the city was facing intense pressure to solve murders. Simon’s knack for scoring confessions had earned her the nickname “the closer.”
In part two of our investigation, we explore the impact on the victims of Simon’s misconduct. Some are still in prison; others are still fighting for freedom. Now they want justice and are calling on prosecutors to review all of Simon’s cases.
‘Falling on deaf ears’
One of the most alarming complaints about Simon was her treatment of witnesses. Numerous people have alleged she threatened to charge them with a crime if they didn’t implicate a suspect she had in mind.
Deonte Howard believes he’s still in prison for a murder he says he didn’t commit because Simon intimidated and threatened witnesses who testified at his trial.
In April 2010, Simon and other detectives were scrambling to figure out who shot 19-year-old Tyrone Simpson in front of a convenience store on Tireman Street.
The sound of an argument caught the attention of the store’s owner, Bobby Bailey, who went outside to see what was going on. He saw eight to 10 people arguing when the sound of gunshots startled him. He ran back into the store but didn’t see who pulled the trigger, Bailey said in an affidavit obtained by a private investigator in June 2021.
On the day of the shooting, Bailey told police he didn’t know who fired
the weapon. Then a day or two later, Simon walked into his store with three other cops and a crew from the television show, The First 48 Combative and confrontational, Simon told Bailey that he would be charged if he didn’t identify Howard as the shooter, according to the
affidavit. At the time, Bailey was on probation for a drug-related conviction.
“Detective Simon was very aggressive toward me,” Bailey said. “She used my criminal history against me and threatened to catch me on another case if I didn’t cooperate with
Detroit.
The former Detroit Police Department headquarters.
STEVE NEAVLING
her. At the time, I was on probation for a narcotics related conviction. Detective Simon showed me a picture of Deonte Howard and said, ‘I know you know that he did it.’”
He added, “Detective Simon was yelling in my face and threatening to violate my probation or include me in the shooting charges if I did not identify Deonte Howard as the shooter. I again told detective Simon that I did not know how the shooter was.”
On two or three separate occasions, Bailey was taken to the Homicide Division for additional interviews “at the request of detective Simon,” the affidavit states.
“While there, detective Simon would show me photographs of Deonte Howard and random black men,” Bailey said. “Detective Simon would point to the photograph of Deonte Howard and scream, ‘I know you know it’s him. Tell me it’s him.’”
Despite the threats, Bailey stuck to his version of the events and refused to implicate Howard.
At the time, Howard was 16 years old and just under five feet tall.
Another witness was fixing his mother’s car when he saw the shooting. Steve Crane, a private investigator who helped gain the release of three innocent prisoners, is convinced that Howard is innocent and talked to the witness.
“I went and interviewed him and showed him a picture of Deonte,” Crane tells Metro Times. “He said, ‘No way. This guy was at least 5’11”, 6 feet tall. I showed him a picture of Deonte, and he said, ‘That’s not the guy.’”
Earlier this month, Crane interviewed another convenience store worker who witnessed the shooting, and he said there was no way Howard was the shooter.
“He said he saw the shooting about two feet in front of him, and he said he was about 6 feet, 180 pounds. Back then, my client was under 5 feet tall,” Crane says. “He said, ‘There’s no way that’s him.’ Why wouldn’t you have the guy who was two feet away and witnessed it testify? You have to wonder how many cases like this are out there.”
Howard is hoping that Bailey’s affidavit and the additional witness, along with other information, will help him get a new trial.
During the initial investigation, Howard was not the original suspect. Witnesses described the shooter as nearly 6 feet tall, about a foot taller than Howard.
But police honed in on Howard because a phone belonging to a “Deonte” was found at the scene, he says. But it turns out the phone was owned by Deonte Miller, not Deonte Howard.
Mark Craighead (left) and Lamarr Monson.
STEVE NEAVLING
Police received a search warrant for Deonte Miller, who fit the description of the suspect and had a black Dodge Charger, which was spotted near the scene of the crime. The car was impounded, and a witness picked Miller out of a photo lineup, Howard says.
But for reasons that remain unclear, Miller was never charged.
During Howard’s first trial, some of the witnesses didn’t identify him as the shooter, and it ended in a hung jury.
Before the second trial, Howard says, Simon talked to the witnesses again, and this time they identified Howard as the shooter.
“I was 16 years old at the time. I didn’t understand what was going on,” he said.
He’s 30 years old now and has lived his entire adult life in prison.
“I’ve been in here this whole time, just trying to fight for my life,” Howard says from prison. “I lost my mom. She went to the grave trying to help me. I came from low income, so we didn’t have money to make people hear what was going on.”
He insists he’s innocent.
“I ain’t do nothing,” he says. “I’ve been pleading innocence since. It’s been falling on deaf ears, even after I showed the evidence.”
Freed by DNA
In March 2008, Michael Ray was found murdered in his home.
Police believed Damon Nathaniel, who used to live at the home, may have been involved. Simon discovered that Nathaniel had an outstanding warrant for a traffic offense, so police arrested him on the warrant about two weeks after the murder and brought him to Simon for questioning.
Nathaniel was left at the precinct for eight hours and eventually was interviewed by Simon, who admitted she cursed at him, hollered, and repeatedly called him a liar.
Police claimed Nathaniel had a homosexual relationship with Ray, and Simon said he would have to confess to the murder if he wanted to bond out if he ever wanted to see his family, according to court records. Police falsely claimed they had DNA evidence connecting him to the murder.
When Nathaniel tried to leave the precinct, police beat him and locked him in jail overnight, according to a lawsuit he filed a year later. Nathaniel alleged he wasn’t allowed to call his family to hire an attorney and was held in jail overnight. The next day, the interrogations continued.
Although the Detroit Police Department agreed to video record all interrogations due to a U.S. Justice Department consent decree, there was no camera or
recording device.
Eventually, Nathaniel signed a confession he says he didn’t write and was charged with murder. But a Wayne County judge threw out the confession because he was unlawfully detained and not given a chance to post bond on the traffic offense warrant.
Before the trial, DNA evidence excluded Nathaniel as a suspect, and the prosecutor moved to dismiss the case.
He spent eight months in prison before his release.
Nathaniel filed a lawsuit against Simon in 2011, allegeding he was falsely imprisoned.
A judge awarded Nathaniel just $20,000.
‘Treated us like scum’
Terrill Johnson was 17 years old when police accused him of shooting at a car on the city’s west side and killing a teenage occupant in April 2002.
Police apprehended him, his 19-yearold sister, and his mother for interrogations at the department’s headquarters downtown. They separated the family members in different rooms and held them without an attorney or arrest warrant for eight to 10 hours, the son and mother say.
Even though Terrill Johnson wasn’t yet an adult, police wouldn’t let his mother see him.
“They treated us like scum,” his mother Clara Johnson says. “It took the breath out of me. They had both of my children, and I couldn’t speak to them. I wanted to be in the same room as him, and when
trusted that police authorities would not send an innocent teenager to prison.
“I have never been through nothing like that,” he says. “At that point, I’m thinking these are people that are in power and they would never do nothing to harm me.”
So, he says, he went along with what Simon wanted. Simon narrated a confession, and he signed it, he says.
“She led me to say what she wanted me to say,” Johnson says. “That statement was basically her words. She wouldn’t allow me to speak my truth. Every time I spoke my truth, she said it was bullshit.”
At what is known as a “Walker hearing,” a safeguard procedure where a judge determines the admissibility of a defendant’s confession before the trial, Johnson’s attorney tried to get the confession thrown out, arguing his client was given false promises and was coerced into signing a statement that wasn’t his own. The judge denied the request and sided with Simon.
I asked for an attorney, they said, ‘No.’ It felt like I was being railroaded and there was nothing I could do about it. They were going to do what they wanted to.”
At one point, the mother says, Simon threatened to charge her with murder if she didn’t cooperate and say her son fired the gun.
“She said I would get life in prison,” she recalls.
Terrill Johnson says Simon moved him to a “little metal box-type room” and “locked me in there for like four hours.”
Simon later confined him in another interrogation room for about a half hour before demanding that he confess. By then, he was tired and frustrated and willing to do almost anything to go home. He tried to explain his side of the story — that he had nothing to do with the murder.
“Every time I told her something she didn’t like, she’d cut me off and say, ‘It’s bullshit,’” Johnson says from Muskegon Correctional Facility. “It was very coercive. At that point, I’m scared and ready to go. I’m willing to do whatever she wants me to do so she leaves me alone. I even asked for an attorney and they denied me an attorney.”
Johnson says Simon made him believe he’d be OK if he just agreed with her version of events.
“It was mentally abusive,” Johnson says. “She made me feel like, if I said what she wanted me to say, everything would be great. I would have said anything to make sure I was alright.”
Johnson emphasizes that he was still a child and wasn’t thinking of the ramifications of giving a false confession. He
“They argued she was a detective for many years and would never do that stuff,” he says of Simon coercing him into signing a false confession. “They were painting a picture of a standup, righteous detective.”
After hearing about others who have been exonerated because of Simon’s tactics, including Mark Craighead, who was exonerated in 2022, Johnson is hoping for a new trial.
“If this information about Simon was out back then, then that statement would have been thrown out, and I would have had a fair trial,” he said. “The jury didn’t get to hear what they did with Craighead and the others. I feel like a jury should have a chance to hear that.”
Now that attorneys have demonstrated how Simon repeatedly elicited false confessions and illegally detained suspects and witnesses, Johnson believes judges and prosecutors should review cases like his.
“It seems like the courts and [Wayne County Prosecutor] Kym Worthy don’t care,” he says. “Once the detective was deemed to have done this to others, they should have systematically brought back the other cases.”
But they haven’t, and Johnson fears he won’t see freedom any time soon.
‘Loud and aggressive’
In 1999, at the height of the misconduct scandal in the Detroit Homicide Division, Damon Smith found himself in front of Simon for an interrogation. Smith, who was 24 years old and had no criminal record at the time, was accused of being involved in the fatal shooting of a teenager on Detroit’s east side.
Police alleged that he, his brother, and two friends were looking for revenge and
Damon Nathaniel.
MICHIGAN DEPARTMENT OF CORRECTIONS
confronted the victim with a gun and baseball bat.
At the onset, he says, Simon was belligerent and threatening.
“Simon got loud and aggressive,” Smith says from the Chippewa Correctional Facility. “She told me that if I didn’t tell her who did the shooting, she was gonna make me the shooter.”
He denied involvement, he says, and as a result was accused of pulling the trigger.
During a short jury trial, Smith was found guilty of first-degree murder and sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole. Smith says his lawyer — a public defender — misrepresented him and failed to show he had an alibi.
“Barbara Simon knew the allegations that she narrated and wrote were a lie,” Smith says. “I was given a fabricated role to play in someone else’s crime.”
After the trial, Smith’s brother, Patrick Roberts, who was a prosecution witness, later recanted in a letter, saying Smith was not involved in the shooting. The actual culprits were two friends of one of the other prosecution witnesses, Roberts said. Roberts claimed that he originally incriminated his brother because his family had been threatened.
Despite the new information, courts have denied Smith’s appeals.
He has been in prison for 25 years.
“My voice has been silenced for 25 years, along with the truth,” Smith says.
“I never committed a crime in my life,” Smith adds. “I don’t have a criminal history. I was going to school to get a license to cut hair. I was working at a barber shop. I have two twin sons that I’m responsible for. I attended church every Sunday, and I played the drums in church. My life was good and promising until Barbara Simon falsely implicated me as the shooter. … The justice system is the only criminal in my case.”
He asks, “How much suffering must I endure before I get justice?”
His niece, Ochga Smith, is convinced her uncle is innocent and has sunk a lot of money trying to get him free. But the appeals have gone nowhere.
“For the last 10 years, his legal bills have fallen on me,” she says. “Having to shell out thousands of dollars without seeing anything come to fruition is hard. It has been difficult to get attorneys to pay attention to the case.”
She says the case has highlighted the problems with the justice system.
“Since I got involved in my uncle’s case, the more I learn about the justice system, the more appalling it is to me,” she says. “It doesn’t work the way it’s supposed to work. Police are not doing their job the correct way. It’s like they are looking for the easiest way out, and courts aren’t doing the due process. It’s unfortunate not just for the people who are incarcerated,
Fighting for freedom
Defendants who are wrongfully imprisoned often find themselves trapped in a cycle of legal battles for years. Courts are reluctant to intervene, even when evidence of police misconduct is strong. And prosecutors routinely resist efforts to secure retrials or hearings on new evidence.
On top of that, the legal standards for overturning convictions based on false confessions are high.
Without tens of thousands of dollars to hire an attorney, innocent people and their families are left with very little recourse.
While Craighead was in prison, his father drained the family’s bank account to pay for legal help. When he ran out of money, he took out a reverse mortgage on his home. But as dementia began to erode his memory, he forgot to make a mortgage payment and lost the home in which he raised his son.
“He was tireless,” Craighead said of his father, who is now 91 years old and lives in an assisted living home. “I was very blessed to have my dad.”
Despite the money spent on attorneys, Craighead was no closer to getting out of prison. Then in 2009, after spending seven years behind bars, the Michigan Innocence Clinic was founded at the University of Michigan. It was the first innocence clinic in the country to focus exclusively on non-DNA cases, and Craighead became one of its first clients.
Lawyers for the clinic tracked down phone records at Sam’s Clubs, which showed he was working an overnight shift at the big-box store and made several calls at the time of the murder. To prevent
that there were a bunch of other cases involving Barbara Simon,” Moran tells Metro Times. “Her credibility would have been shot had the jury known about these other cases, such as Johnson and Scott, where she interrogated kids who were picked up on the street and got them to falsely implicate somebody.”
Rather than risk an almost certain loss at trial, Wayne County prosecutors dropped the case but refused to concede Craighead was innocent.
“The homicide occurred 25 years ago and Mr. Craighead served his sentence in the case,” Wayne County Prosecutor’s Office spokeswoman Maria Miller tells Metro Times. “The decision not to re-try the case does not reflect the merits of the case. It is based upon the age of the case, and the ruling of the court that makes it impractical to re-try. As a result WCPO agreed to the dismissal which was granted by the court today.”
theft, the store locks in employees. So it would have been impossible for Craighead to leave without triggering an alarm at the store.
Craighead was paroled in 2009.
With the help of the Michigan Innocence Project, Craighead sought a new trial to clear his name. His attorneys focused on Simon’s history of misconduct.
“Simon repeatedly committed egregious misconduct against innocent men in order to gain confessions and convictions,” the Michigan Innocence Clinic wrote in a court filing.
In February 2021, Wayne County Circuit Court Judge Shannon Walker agreed and granted Craighead a new trial, saying Simon “has a history of falsifying confessions and lying under oath” and that the new evidence “establishes a common scheme of misconduct.”
“Not only has this Court already found statements obtained by Simon not to be credible, but so too has the Michigan Supreme Court,” Walker said.
“This impeachment evidence demonstrates that Simon has repeatedly lied as part of her misconduct, which would allow a jury to evaluate whether to trust her testimony in light of information demonstrating a character of truthfulness,” Walker added.
“The new evidence [from the phone records] establishes a common scheme of misconduct.”
David A. Moran, co-founder of the Michigan Innocence Clinic and lead counsel on the Craighead case, says Simon’s pattern of malfeasance was instrumental in gaining the new trial. Moran was also lead counsel for the cases of other men who were exonerated, including Justly Johnson, Kendrik Scott, and Lamarr Monson.
“What finally won it for us was the fact
What Worthy’s office didn’t mention was that Valerie Newman, a former defense attorney and current head of the Conviction Integrity Unit (CIU), which is tasked with freeing innocent people from prison, previously represented Craighead while he was in prison and claimed in motions that he was innocent.
Of the four cases connected to Simon that were handled by the Michigan Innocence Clinic, all four successfully led to exonerations. And in each of those cases, Wayne County prosecutors fought to keep the men in prison, only to later dismiss the cases because of serious concerns about evidence or Simon’s misconduct.
Since the clinic was created, it has successfully won the release of 41 men and women who had been wrongfully convicted of crimes.
Defense attorneys say projects such as the Michigan Innocence Clinic are a godsend for inmates who have been wrongfully convicted and can’t afford an attorney.
“If it wasn’t for the Innocence Project and the conviction integrity units, this system would be a mess,” Wolfgang Mueller, an attorney who specializes in wrongful imprisonment cases, says. “If it wasn’t for them, all these people would die in prison.”
Reviewing all of Simon’s cases
Given Simon’s proven pattern of misconduct, prosecutors have an ethical obligation to make a sweeping review of all her cases — especially those that relied on confessions or witness statements, even if there are hundreds — according to activists, experts, exonerees, and defense attorneys.
“It takes the prosecutor and/or the chief of police to say, ‘We have an officer who was involved in a pattern of misconduct
but also for the families.”
Damon Smith.
MICHIGAN DEPARTMENT OF CORRECTIONS
known to produce wrongful convictions, so we are going to look at all of them,’” Moran says. “Preferably you want to have an outside entity, like a prestigious law firm, to look at all these cases. The problem with doing it internally is there is pressure to preserve as many of these convictions as you can.”
Part of the problem, activists and defense attorneys say, is that exonerations lead to pricey lawsuits, so cities and prosecutors are often hesitant or unwilling to take actions that will lead to convictions being overturned.
Similar reviews have taken place in other cities where police were accused of obtaining illegal confessions. In April 2002, a judge appointed a special prosecutor to investigate decades-old allegations that disgraced Chicago Detective Jon Burge tortured suspects to obtain confessions. A total of 60 cases were reviewed, leading to multiple exonerations and pardons for death row inmates.
In 2010, Burge was convicted of two counts of obstruction and one count of perjury and sentenced to four and a half years in prison.
Five years later, Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel established a $5.5 million fund for Burge’s victims.
The case against Burge prompted state lawmakers to make sweeping reforms, including requiring police to videotape interrogations, giving defendants more access to evidence, and empowering the Illinois Supreme Court to more easily dismiss unjust verdicts.
In May 2013, the Brooklyn’s district attorney office ordered a review of about 50 murder cases assigned to New York City Detective Louis Scarcella, who was accused of fabricating confessions and witness statements. Numerous exonerations followed, costing the city $110 million.
“We haven’t had that kind of scrutiny applied to officers in Detroit,” Moran says.
The Detroit Police Department declined to comment on Simon’s cases or say whether it has examined any of her past cases to determine if more innocent people may be imprisoned, citing ongoing litigation.
Moran believes the misconduct goes far beyond Simon and has resulted in countless false confessions and coerced witness statements. He points to the Department of Justice investigation that found police routinely and illegally rounded up and arrested witnesses and suspects without probable cause or warrants in the 1990s.
“They arrested witnesses, which is flagrantly unconstitutional and held them and threatened them until they implicated somebody,” Moran says. “They held suspects without probable cause in rat-infested and cockroach-infested cells until they signed something. This was a widespread problem involving a number of detectives.”
Prosecutors fail the innocent
No one has more authority to free an innocent person from prison than a prosecutor. In 2018, Wayne County Prosecutor Kym Worthy launched the CIU to review old cases to determine if people were wrongfully convicted.
Since then, 38 inmates were either exonerated or their cases were dismissed as a result of the CIU. A disproportionate number of those cases — 13 — occurred in 2020, the year Worthy was running for reelection.
By contrast, only three cases were dismissed since January 2023, and no one was exonerated during that period.
None of the CIU’s cases involved defendants who accused Simon of misconduct, leaving potentially innocent people with very little recourse.
Newman, head of the CIU, defended her unit, saying it is understaffed and overwhelmed with cases. Since the CIU was created, she says, prosecutors have received 2,311 requests to review cases. Of those cases, the CIU reviewed 1,177.
“Currently, there is a backlog of requests for conviction review that the CIU is working through,” Newman tells Metro Times. “The CIU strives to handle all claims with care and attention as it works through its backlog.”
Newman says she expects the unit
to pick up the pace on reviewing cases. The CIU plans to soon hire new attorneys and a detective, she says, and the unit “is in the last stages of obtaining a fully functional database” that is intended to “expedite the navigating of documents to identify officers or individuals known to have had cases with wrongful convictions in the past.”
Newman points out that there was “no opportunity” to get involved in the cases in which prisoners interrogated by Simon have already been exonerated because their cases preceded the creation of the CIU.
Newman also downplayed the potential scope of Simon’s transgressions.
“The CIU is aware of the cases where judges have found Barbara Simons engaged in misconduct,” Newman tells Metro Times. “Simon has likely worked on hundreds of cases throughout her career, and although the courts have found misconduct in some cases, we cannot assume this is the case in all of her cases.”
Killers still on the loose
Wrongful convictions don’t just send innocent people to prison; they also prevent police from capturing the real perpetrators. If they aren’t pursued by law enforcement, they can go on to commit further crimes.
It also means victims and their families are deprived of justice.
In each of the cases involving the four exonerees in this investigative series, the real killers were never found. The Innocence Project, another group that works to free wrongfully convicted people, helped overturn 102 false confessions cases through DNA evidence. That evidence led to the true perpetrator being convicted in 75% of the cases. What’s more troubling is that the real perpetrators went on to commit 25 murders, 14 rapes, and nine other violent crimes, all of which could have been prevented if the wrong suspect wasn’t convicted, according to the Innocence Project.
Craighead still wonders who killed his good friend and questions why police haven’t pursued the real murderer.
“Why wouldn’t you want the real murderer in jail?” he says. “That part kills me.”
In an affidavit, Johnson claimed Simon refused to investigate his alibis and told him she didn’t care if he was innocent. Simon said “it didn’t matter because the mayor was her boss and her boss was on them and they were going to charge me with the murder whether I was innocent or not,” according to Johnson.
Mueller, who represented Johnson and other wrongfully imprisoned men, said detectives were under substantial pressure to close cases because too many murders were going unsolved.
“Their closure rate was so low. You have pressure to close cases,” Mueller
Mark Craighead started a nonprofit to deliver food to lower-income people.
STEVE NEAVLING
says. “If there is collateral damage, I think they figured their batting average was high enough. The public was getting on the mayor, the mayor was getting on the chief, and basically the shit rolls down hill. The end justifies the means. I believe that was their mantra back in the 1990s. ‘We ought to solve crime, and it doesn’t matter how we get there.’”
Life outside of prison
Growing up in Detroit, Craighead was a happy, eager child who was quick to smile or crack a joke. His family adored him, and he learned to trust authorities. He played little league football in the Police Athletic League, and most of his coaches were cops.
“I learned to trust them,” Craighead recalls. “I never had issues with trust. Now I can’t trust nobody.”
Unlike the other exonerees, Craighead carried a homicide on his record for 12 years after he was paroled in 2009, making it exceptionally difficult to land a job. Adjusting to life outside of institutionalization wasn’t easy. Craighead, who regularly sees a therapist, says he still has nightmares about prison and can easily become anxious. He’s far more guarded and cautious
than he was before prison.
“A lot of the stuff you see on TV, it happens in prison,” he says, referring to the fights, chaos, and abuse he’s witnessed.
Craighead is also distressed that he couldn’t support his dad when his memory began to fade with dementia.
But he also feels blessed that he’s free and spends a lot of his time supporting people who say they’ve been wrongfully imprisoned.
“When I got out, I made a promise to God that I would bring more innocent people out of prison,” Craighead says. “If I can get one person out a year, I’ll be happy.”
He adds, “It’s very hard to be in prison when you’re innocent. No one believes you.”
When word spread about Craighead’s experience with Simon, he said he heard from more than a dozen current inmates who insist the detective falsely accused them of murder.
“She did a lot of people the same way as me,” Craighead says. “There are guys rotting in prison who have done absolutely nothing. They ain’t got no other avenue out.”
In 2013, Craighead created a nonprofit, Safe Place Transition Center, that helps veterans, lower-income
families, and others. He provides housing, and every two weeks, he and his volunteers pass out groceries to more than 200 people in Mount Clemens.
On a recent Saturday morning, a line of cars waiting for food spanned more than two blocks long. Craighead loaded cardboard boxes with fresh produce, canned food, rice, beans, and applesauce and helped hand them out.
“It feels good to help people,” Craighead says. “There’s a lot of people in need.”
Mueller says he’s witnessed how prison changes even the most resilient people.
“It affects every bit of their psyche,” he says. “I’ve had some real strong, tough individuals say it’s the most dysfunctional place on Earth. All their young adult years are gone.”
Monson, who spent 20 years in prison for a murder he didn’t commit, says he prepared for the day he’d be set free. He taught himself about running a business and worked as a clerk for the chaplain.
“I made up my mind when I was there and fighting to get out I needed to prepare myself,” he says. “I looked to improve myself physically, mentally, and spiritually. I knew if I focused on
those three things I’d be alright.”
Unlike Craighead, Monson’s record was wiped clean with his exoneration, so finding a job was much easier. Monson worked for a real estate business in Allen Park for two years and then started his own business, Royal Reign Enterprises, a residential renovations company. Not long after, he launched a second business, Royal Universal Care, an adult daycare.
Monson also created a community organization, Moving Detroit Forward, a group focused on establishing economic infrastructure in neglected areas of Detroit.
Most importantly, Monson says, he reunited with his daughter, who was only 6 years old when he went to prison. She was 27 when he got out.
“I’m really family-oriented,” he says. “That’s the most important thing to me. I’m trying to help make some changes out here.”
Crane, the private investigator who works on getting innocent people exonerated, says the feeling of winning freedom for innocent prisoners is indescribable.
“Once you walk an innocent guy out of prison, it’s like nothing you can ever imagine,” Crane says. “It’s like Christmas times 100.”
WHAT’S GOING ON
Select events happening in metro Detroit this week. Be sure to check venue website before events for latest information. Add your event to our online calendar: metrotimes.com/ AddEvent.
MUSIC
Wednesday, July 31
Live/Concert
Aaron Lewis 8 p.m.; Sound Board, 2901 Grand River Ave., Detroit; $74-$88. CHUU 6:30 p.m.; The Fillmore, 2115 Woodward Ave., Detroit; $45-$199.
DIIV, Horse Jumper of Love, Full Body 2 7 p.m.; Magic Stick, 4120 Woodward Ave., Detroit; $29.50.
Grosse Pointe Symphony Orchestra Summer Concert 7-8:30 p.m.; Grosse Pointe War Memorial, 32 Lake Shore Dr., Grosse Pointe Shores; $20 ($15 seniors, $5 college students, free to students K -12).
idobi Summer School with Scene Queen, The Home Team, Magnolia Park & Stand Atlantic, Honey Revenge & Letdown. 4 p.m.; Royal Oak Music Theatre, 318 W. Fourth St., Royal Oak; $30-$50.
Jazz & Cocktails ft. Dnise Jonson 7-10 p.m.; Aretha’s Jazz Cafe, 350 Madison St., Detroit; $20.
PJ Morton, Afro Orleans, Kenyon Dixon 7:30 p.m.; The Aretha Franklin Amphitheatre, 2600 E. Atwater St., Detroit; $15-$60.
Matt Lorusso Trio & Special Guests 8-11 p.m.; Northern Lights Lounge, 660 W. Baltimore St., Detroit; no cover.
Story time with Violent J, Ouija Macc 8 p.m.; The Token Lounge, 28949 Joy Rd., Westland; $30-$150.
Tracheotomy, Surfaced, Thus Spoke Zarathustra, Fleshwound, World Of Malice 6 p.m.; Sanctuary Detroit, 2932 Caniff St., Hamtramck; $16.
Wilderado, Harbour, Windser 7 p.m.; The Shelter, 431 E. Congress St., Detroit; $25.
Karaoke/Open Mic
Jazz Open Jam Session in the Lounge! 8-11 p.m.; Bowlero Lanes & Lounge, 4209 Coolidge Hwy., Royal Oak; no cover.
Thursday, Aug. 1
Live/Concert
31-August 6, 2024 |
Frank Bang 7:30 p.m.; The Token Lounge, 28949 Joy Rd., Westland; $10$90.
Phil Wickham & Brandon, Hulvey 7 p.m.; Little Caesars Arena, 2645 Woodward Ave., Detroit; $20-$95.
Protest the Hero, ’68, Greyhaven 6:30 p.m.; Saint Andrew’s Hall, 431 E. Congress St., Detroit; $23.
Ski Mask The Slump God, DJ Scheme, Hardrock, Danny Towers 7 p.m.; The Fillmore, 2115 Woodward Ave., Detroit; $35.50-$67.50.
Karaoke/Open Mic
DARE-U-OKE 9 p.m.-midnight; Northern Lights Lounge, 660 W. Baltimore St., Detroit; no cover.
Drag Queen Karaoke 8 p.m.-2 a.m.; Woodward Avenue Brewers, 22646 Woodward Ave., Ferndale; no cover.
Friday, Aug. 2
Live/Concert
Blues, Brews & Barbecue: Eric Gales, Laith Al Saadi, Herb The Artist, Sky Covington ft. Club Crescendo 4-11 p.m.; Westland Civic Center Park, Ford Rd. & Carlson Parkway, Westland; no cover.
Kem: The S.O.S. Band & Loose Ends feat. Jane Eugene 8 p.m.; The Aretha Franklin Amphitheatre, 2600 E. Atwater St., Detroit; $46-$126.
Killer Mike & The Mighty Midnight Revival, Trackstar the DJ 8 p.m.; Magic Stick, 4120 Woodward Ave., Detroit; $39.50-$84.50.
Live at Five: Anne Domini 5-8 p.m.; Northville Art House, 215 W. Cady St., Northville; $5.
LawLapalooza V: The 3148s, The Common Scolds, Don Cummings (Strongman), Cameron Getto (Acoustic Set), Derek Kevra from Fox 2 (MC) 7 p.m.; Magic Bag, 22920 Woodward Ave., Ferndale; $20.
MC Chris, Crunk Witch, The Amino Acids, Clooner 7 p.m.; Sanctuary Detroit, 2932 Caniff St., Hamtramck; $20.
Sara Evans 8-10:30 p.m.; FIM Capitol Theatre, 140 E 2nd Street, Flint; Tickets start at $50 / $35 for Genesee County residents.
SiR, Davion Farris 7 p.m.; The Fillmore, 2115 Woodward Ave., Detroit; $30.50-$73.
Saturday Aug 3
Live/Concert
Blues, Brews & Barbecue: Selwyn
Birchwood, Eliza Neals, Drey Skonie and The kLouds Band, Big Timmy and the Heavy Chevys, Gabriel Brass Band, The Paxton/ Spangler Band, Further Adventures of Fatboy & Jive Turkey 4-11 p.m.; Westland Civic Center Park, Ford Rd. & Carlson Parkway, Westland; no cover.
Kem: The S.O.S. Band & Loose Ends feat. Jane Eugene 8 p.m.; The Aretha Franklin Amphitheatre, 2600 E. Atwater St., Detroit; $46-$126.
Bop To The Top Present Best Of Both Worlds Hannah Montana Night - 18+ 8:30 p.m.; The Fillmore, 2115 Woodward Ave., Detroit; $1-$28. Clickbait, Mechanatura, Johnstonsons 7 p.m.; Job Stoppers Inc, 5631 Michigan Ave., Detroit.
Jeromes Dream, Knumears, New Forms, Deadwhitelily 6 p.m.; Sanctuary Detroit, 2932 Caniff St., Hamtramck; $15.
Michael Ray, Love and Theft 5-11 p.m.; The Iconic Eloise Venue, 30712 Michigan Ave, Westland; $49.99.
Plush, Kore Rozzik, As The Ember Burns, Crafted Convition, Klinical Trial 6:30 p.m.; The Token Lounge, 28949 Joy Rd., Westland; $20.
Teddy Swims: Everything But Therapy 8 p.m.; Caesars Palace Windsor - Augustus Ballroom, 377 E. Riverside Dr., Windsor; $33-$78.
Viva la Quebradita Tour 2024 en Pontiac: Destructores De Memo Ocampo, Banda Machos. Banda Mexicano, Banda Maguey, Banda Potrero 3 p.m.; Downtown Pontiac, Woodward Ave., Pontiac; $60.
Sunday, Aug. 4
Live/Concert
Big Brave, Spiritual Poison, Abuse Repression, A Death Cinematic 7 p.m.; Sanctuary Detroit, 2932 Caniff St., Hamtramck; $18.
Dirk Kroll Band 7-10 p.m.; Blue Goose Inn, 28911 E. Jefferson Ave., St. Clair Shores; $5
Future, Metro Boomin 8 p.m.; Little Caesars Arena, 2645 Woodward Ave., Detroit; $49.50-$199.50.
Jake Hill, Guccihighwaters, Ryan Oakes 6:30 p.m.; Saint Andrew’s Hall, 431 E. Congress St., Detroit; $27.50.
Old 97’s, John Buffalo 7 p.m.; Magic Bag, 22920 Woodward Ave., Ferndale; $32.
Melissa Etheridge & Jewel 7 p.m.;
Caesars Palace Windsor - Augustus Ballroom, 377 E. Riverside Dr., Windsor; $38-$93.
DJ/Dance
Sundays on Selden Aug. 4, noon-5 p.m.; Selden Courtyard, 666 Selden Street, Detroit; no cover.
Monday, Aug. 5
Live/Concert
In the Valley Below 7 p.m.; The Shelter, 431 E. Congress St., Detroit; $25. Sky Covington’s Satin Doll Revue 7-10 p.m.; Aretha’s Jazz Cafe, 350 Madison St., Detroit; $35.
Summer Carillon Concert: Christine El-Hage Walters 7-8 p.m.; Carillons at The University of Michigan, 881 N. University Ave., Ann Arbor; no cover.
DJ/Dance
Adult Skate Night 8:30-11 p.m.; Lexus Velodrome, 601 Mack Ave., Detroit; $5.
Tuesday, Aug. 6
Live/Concert
Global Sunsets, Blackman & Arnold Trio 7-10 p.m.; Northern Lights Lounge, 660 W. Baltimore St., Detroit; no cover.
Jazzy Tuesdays’ on the Rooftop ft. The Denise Edwards Trio 8-11 p.m.; Godfrey Hotel, 1407 Michigan Ave,, Detroit; no cover.
Lizzy McAlpine 7 p.m.; Detroit Masonic Temple Library, 500 Temple St, Detroit; $53+.
Grateful Dub, Roots of Creation 7 p.m.; Magic Bag, 22920 Woodward Ave., Ferndale; $20.
The Bunny the Bear, Dizasterpiece, Walking Down Main, Precordial Thump 6 p.m.; Sanctuary Detroit, 2932 Caniff St., Hamtramck; $15.
The Summer Slaughter Tour: Veil of Maya, Brand of Sacrifice, Gideon, Left to Suffer, Within Destruction, Ten56, Tallah, Cabal, Brat, Filth 3 p.m.; Pike Room, 1 S. Saginaw, Pontiac; $36.50.
DJ/Dance
B.Y.O.R Bring Your Own Records Night 9 p.m.-midnight; The Old Miami, 3930 Cass Ave., Detroit; Free.
Performance
Detroit Public Theatre Mosaic
Youth Theatre: New Voices Detroit Festival. This year’s theme is Breakthrough. Celebrate this new generation of artists, ambassadors, and advocates for a thriving Detroit enriched by arts and culture.; $10; Friday, Aug. 2, 7-9 p.m. Starr Jaycee Park Shakespeare
Royal Oak presents Twelfth Night; $35; Thursdays-Sundays, 7:30-10 p.m.
Theatre NOVA Doctor Moloch; $28; Thursday, Aug. 1, 8-10 p.m.; Friday, Aug. 2, 8-10 p.m,; Saturday, Aug. 3, 8-10 p.m.; and Sunday, Aug. 4, 2-4 p.m.
Musical
Fisher Theatre - Detroit Shrek - The Musical; Friday, Aug. 2; 7:30 p.m., Saturday, Aug. 3; 2 p.m. and 7:30 p.m. and Sunday, Aug. 4, 1 p.m. and 6:30 p.m.
Flagstar Strand Theatre for the Performing Arts Rose Above Theatre Company Presents: Pippin; $25; Friday, Aug. 2, 7 p.m.; Saturday, Aug. 3, 1 p.m. and 7 p.m.; and Sunday. Aug. 4, 5 p.m.
COMEDY
Improv
Go Comedy! Improv Theater Go Comedy! All-Star Showdown; Fridays and Saturdays, 7:30 p.m. and 9:30 p,m.; $25.
Mark Ridley’s Comedy Castle
Alonzo Bodden; $30; Thursday, Aug. 1, 7:30-9 p.m.; Friday, Aug. 2, 7:15-8:45 p.m. and 9:45-11:15 p,m,; and Saturday, Aug. 3, 7-8:30 p.m. and 9:30-11 p.m. Stand-up
Mark Ridley’s Comedy Castle
Sarah Sherman; $30; Sunday, Aug. 4, 7:30-9 p.m.
Continuing This Week Stand-up Blind Pig Blind Pig Comedy FREE Mondays, 8 p.m.
The Independent Comedy Club at Planet Ant The Sh*t Show Open Mic: Every Friday & Saturday at The Independent; $5 suggested donation; Fridays, Saturdays, 11 p.m.-1:30 a.m.
Valid celebrates album release with block party
It’s an hour before Detroit’s Old Miami opens its door, and the manager Dena is setting up chairs and wiping down the bar while sharing a few laughs with emcee Valid, who’s enjoying an early morning sip of Yebiga plum brandy. With nearby Temple Bar being temporarily shut down and the closing of Cass Cafe and Traffic Jam & Sung, the Old Miami is one of the few remaining Cass Corridor bars open from Detroit’s yesteryear.
“Old Miami just has a special place in my heart,” Valid says. “It’s an important landmark in Detroit hip-hop.”
Last year this time Valid was riding the wave of Bill & Isiah, a collab album with fellow emcee Stretch Money. Sonically, the project channeled a deep 1980s vibe as Stretch became a hip-hop Isiah Thomas and Valid transformed into a hip-hop Bill Laimbeer. The album was one of Valid’s most successful projects to date.
“It was one of the most exciting things and coolest things ever,” he says. “A lot of people learned about me through that project.”
Sixteen months later and he’s still called “Bill” or “Laimbeer” by passersby when he’s out and he routinely receives requests from the trap side of Detroit hip-hop for guest verses.
“The things we were pulling from when we wrote the Bill & Isiah album were in a certain bucket,” he says. “And while that was going on I kind of created a Bill Lambeer version of Valid.”
says. “I was tapping into my ethnic roots. I had always wanted to do a sequel to that… Mihajlo in 2019 was as personal as it gets and Peach Brandy is a sequel to both, the same eastern European samples getting flipped.”
Peach Brandy is personal, sentimental, and clever. “One of a kind” and “May 6” are boom bap bangers with production courtesy of producer knowhere2run. “Never Question” changes with the vibe up with a bass heavy R&B beat and a feature by Neisha Neshae.
“We worked before on the ‘New Nasty’ in 2015,” he says. “I’m a true Neisha Nasha fan. I fuck with her shit. I think her voice is incredible.”
Boog Brown drops a hot verse on “Plush” and John Connor and Philmore Greene contribute standout verses on “Cigareta.”
“On that one I tell a story about what it was like growing up in my ethnic culture; in the ’80s and the ’90s when it was a lot of controversy over there and a lot of turmoil in Yugoslavia and wars were happening and what it was like growing up in America,” Valid says.
Following the release of Peach Brandy, Valid and DJ Head will be headlining the “Preach the Ric” festival in Croatia on August 15-16. It marks the first time that Valid will be rocking a stage in Southeast Europe.
“Dreams come true and it still feels like a dream,” he says through a smile. “It’s not going to sink in until I’m over there rocking.”
Eastern Palace Club 48 Hour
Film Project Kickoff; Filmmakers receive a Genre, Character, Line of Dialogue and a prop. In 48 hours they must write, shoot and edit a short film based on the elements provided. Films are due on that Sunday, Aug. 4, at 7:30 p.m. All films will be screened on Aug. 18, at the Redford Theater; $178; Friday. Aug. 2, 6-7 p.m.
Valid has still been busy since Bill & Isiah. On February 2, he released The Bronko Tape, a 12-track mixtape that he calls, “Bangers in the vault.” And on May 6, Valid was featured in a Detroit Tigers video announcing their new “City Connect” uniforms. The video also featured rappers Stretch Money, P.L., and GMAC Cash, with a cameo by Eminem.
“I didn’t know Em was going to be a part of it and it fucked me up,” Valid says. “I have that Tigers jersey with my name on the back framed and hanging on my wall.”
With this new album Peach Brandy he’s returning to being personal and incorporating his Serbian roots as he’s done on previous solo albums.
“With Plum Brandy (2020) is a certain version of Valid,” he
The album drops on Friday August 2, followed by an album release block party Saturday August 3 at Woodbridge Pub. The party will also feature Guilty Simpson, Asaka The Renegade, DJ Head, Eastside Jon, DJ JMAC, Shigeto, Ideeyah, and Asaka.
“I wanted to do something free for the people,” he says, adding, “Just show up with your ID, chill, have fun, and enjoy the music!”
—Kahn Santori Davison
Valid’s Album Release Block Party runs from 3-10 p.m. on Saturday, Aug. 3 at Woodbridge Pub; 5169 Trumbull, Detroit. No cover, ages 21+.
FILM
Film festival
Detroit rapper Valid kicks back with a drink of plum brandy.
KAHN SANTORI DAVISON
MUSIC
Scorpio season
Detroit female rock duo We Are Scorpio to release debut selftitled album
By Layla McMurtrie
We Are Scorpio is electric and empowering.
The Detroit rock ’n’ roll duo, composed of the city’s poet laureate jessica Care moore and longtime rocker Steffanie Christi’an, is preparing to release its debut self-titled album on August 16.
The “punk rock poetry record” is more than just an album; it’s an experience. The project exudes intense Scorpio energy through headbanging anthems that center Black women with political yet uplifting lyrics, offering modern rock with a Black femme edge.
Singles “Supa Dupa Star” and “Scorpio” give listeners just a taste of what’s to come.
The nine-track album, produced by rapper Talib Kweli, features rockers Divinity Roxx and Militia Voxx, Detroit rapper Sada Baby, guitar player Wayne Gerard, and award-winning trumpet player Maurice “Mobetta” Brown, among others.
Although Christi’an and moore only began working on this project a few years ago, the pair have been friends and collaborators for almost two decades. In conversation and in music, the duo’s powerful synergy and unapologetic presence is evident.
Rock ’n’ roll is not new to them either, as both have been lifelong lovers of the genre, largely thanks to their mothers.
“My mom was a punk rocker,” Christi’an says. “She had me at 15 and she used to wear a mohawk and safety pins in her ears, and I was right there with her. She’s taking me to all of the Depeche Mode concerts and the Cure and for me, it was innate, it was the only thing that I knew, it’s not a gimmick to me. It wasn’t like I got older and I was like, ‘Oh, let me see if I can take over this genre.’ That’s just how I
grew up. Rock ’n’ roll has always been in my life.”
moore adds, “My mom’s older and she loved Janis Joplin. My mother’s a hippie too, she has long brunette hair… and then I went to predominantly white Catholic schools and so I grew up listening to AC/DC, Metallica, Van Halen. Those people were what those girls listened to and I listened to them too.”
When moore moved back to Detroit from New York, she was looking for a rock singer to perform with, and her boyfriend at the time said, “Yo, my cousin is the one.” Christi’an already knew who moore was and immediately went over to her place to sing for her.
“I met her and I heard her singing. I
was like, ‘Oh my God. Steffanie is the one,’ like she’s one of my favorite singers in the whole world,” moore says. “I met her and I just fell in love with her in every way. I love her personality, her spirit, she’s really smart … Stefannie has been singing with me in Detroit longer than anybody else.”
“It was a combination of two storms and we’ve been a hurricane ever since,” Christi’an adds.
moore began writing the upcoming record during the COVID-19 pandemic and immediately knew Christi’an would be the perfect collaborator. Although the two had worked together musically for years, they had never officially released any music together.
So when moore ran into Christi’an one day, they decided it was finally time to make it happen.
“I couldn’t have done this record without her, it would be impossible,” moore says. “She can help me figure out those melodies and that sound that Steffanie has and she’s just a powerful ass performer on stage, like I’m not gonna get close to every woman like that. I just grab her, I’ll just get on her back, wrap my body around her. She’s my sister, I feel so comfortable around her on stage. I know she’s got me.”
Aside from showcasing their own talent, one significant mission of We Are Scorpio is to spotlight Black women in rock music as a whole.
The new project by the city’s poet laureate jessica Care moore and rocker Steffanie Christi’an exudes authenticity and powerful synergy.
COURTESY PHOTO
“I’m exhausted from male artists talking about their little dicks getting sucked. I’m sick of it,” moore says. “I’m sick of them talking about women as if we’re these subservient kinds of objects in songs. I’m sick of the ‘bitches.’ I don’t want to be called a bitch. I’m not on my knees sucking your little penis. So, this album is the opposite of that.
“I feel like it’s my duty to push back and say, ‘You’re not gonna silence us’,” moore says. “Me and Steffanie’s record deserves spins. Black radio should play it … I think that we have a record that can get plays. There’s some lyrics on there that can get with any rap record that’s out right now. I got bars.”
The first track on the LP, titled “I’m From Detroit,” is an anthem for the city, fittingly featuring rapper Sada Baby.
“Sada Baby is Detroit and he brings in a different audience that we want,” moore says. “He’s a rock ’n’ roll energy, we like him.”
While the duo has love for many musically talented men, We Are Scorpio hopes male artists who degrade women hear this album, as some tracks, such as “Quarterback,” respond to misogynistic language in music.
“I’m exhausted from male artists talking about their little dicks getting sucked. I’m sick of it,” moore says. “I’m sick of them talking about women as if we’re these subservient kinds of objects in songs. I’m sick of the ‘bitches.’ I don’t want to be called a bitch. I’m not on my knees sucking your little penis. So, this album is the opposite of that. It’s saying, ‘Fuck you, I’m the shit, I got bars, I’m a Black woman.’”
“And I don’t have to degrade you either,” Christi’an adds.
moore emphasizes that this record is important to show that “Black women have something to say,” but the lyrics are empowering for all women and girls.
“The music industry is so maledominated, still, in a ridiculous kind of way, so we’re taking our mics back,” moore says. “Everytime I listen to a song it’s like, ‘Why I gotta always be a bitch and why do I gotta be on my knees?’ So this record is saying ‘I’m off my knees.’”
Coming up on August 7, We Are Scorpio is playing a free concert at
Dequindre Cut as part of the Black Bottom Live Music Series, and the duo urges Detroiters to show up and support.
“Rock ’n’ roll artists are so hot,” moore says. “So me and Steffanie are also sex symbols, we know that and so we want to make sure everyone comes out to our Dequindre Cut show … We want people to come out and gush all over us on the 7th and then on the 31st it’s gonna be like a super sexy event in general. Rock ’n’ roll, there’s some energy inside that music that’s just visceral.”
On August 31, We Are Scorpio will be playing at the Fillmore during Black Women Rock!’s 20th anniversary show – their biggest stage as a duo yet.
“We’re relying on people actually showing up for us. It should be an easy sell, the show should be sold out because just Steffanie alone should sell it out, just me alone should sell it out, but I’m bringing like 20 women to the stage,” moore says. “It’s gonna be phenomenal. If I can’t get people to buy a $50 ticket, or a $75 ticket, to see the baddest rock ’n’ roll show they’ve never seen, then I don’t need to be in Detroit anymore.”
After their upcoming live shows, We Are Scorpio’s biggest goal is to win the spoken word Grammy
“We’re coming for heads, we’re confident,” moore says. “We’re going to push for the nomination and we want some Black girls from Detroit to go bring home a spoken word Grammy.”
“That would be amazing,” Christi’an adds.
Until then, when the project comes out, the duo encourages everyone to “get the record, play the record, share the record… put it in your playlist.”
We Are Scorpio, the album, will be available on all streaming platforms on August 16. For updates on shows and music releases, you can follow @ wearescorpio on Instagram.
Fri 8/02
DJ BET & DJ SKEEZ (HIP-HOP/SOUL/FUNK) DOORS@9PM/$5COVER
Sat 8/03
CROOKED SPIRES/ THREE SPOKE WHEEL/ LILY BONES (PSYCH ROCK/ALT ROCK) DOORS@9PM/$5COVER HAPPY BIRTHDAY, RAY DELOOF!
Sun 8/04
HAPPY 234TH BIRTHDAY TO THE US COAST GUARD!
Mon 8/05 FREE POOL ALL DAY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JAY JURMA!
Coming Up: 8/08 Proud House of Shmucks/ Media Panic/Detroit 442
8/09 Haley and the Crushers/ Black Swan Dive Bomb/Karalavara 8/10 DIVAS vs DIVAS (monthly dance party)
8/16 Blood Rune Sigil/New Relatives/ Queen Jayne/Sweet Babe
8/17 Rob Zinck & The Collaborators/ The Simsons
8/23 Cocktail Shake/Royal Sweets
8/24 Lollygagger/Edison Hollow/ Solar Drip
8/25 Daytime Delights w/ DJ AIMZ & Friends
8/29 WDET COMEDY SHOWCASE (wdet.org/events)
8/30 Jesus Wept /Bloodletter/ Chain Ripper/Burned in Effigy 8/31 Freak Box/ Zotz/ Defiant Book Your Parties: theoldmiamibarevents@gmail.com Old Miami T-shirts & Hoodies Available
FOOD
Two things that go great together
By Tom Perkins
Taj Al-Yemen/ Family Donut
11300 Conant St., Hamtramck
313-368-9214
7 a.m.- 11p.m. daily
$2-$17
Wheelchair accessible
At the corner of Caniff and Conant in Hamtramck is perhaps the most Hatmramck business one could find for this moment in time — an old-school doughnut and coffee shop mixed with a Yemeni restaurant, and it might just also have the area’s best fried chicken.
Family Donut, which has operated the small shop for decades, joined forces with Taj Al-Yemeni around a year ago, and though it’s not clear what motivated the merger, one can speculate that it has to do with the city’s shifting demographics.
And Taj Al-Yemen/Family Donut are attuned to those demographics as it’s not just limited to classic American
doughnuts and Yemeni food — there are a few options geared toward the town’s large Bengladeshi population, Bosnian burek, and what I might submit as the best fried chicken in metro Detroit, as well as solid subs.
Taj Al-Yemen/Family Donut reflects Hamtramck in a way that no other restaurant here does, and manager Nivil Al-Haiga says that’s by design — they want to have something for everyone in town.
The menu is largely Yemeni food, and the operation is run by YemeniAmerican folks. Al-Haiga says part of the reason their food is so good is because they poached an experienced crew of cooks from other Yemeni restaurants in town, like Yemen Cafe, Remas, and Sheeba.
Perhaps the best dish was the lamb agdah, with super tender, stewed lamb, carrots, potatoes, onions, tomatoes, garlic, and parsley. It’s super fragrant and bright, which I suspect is driven in part by some combination of cumin, coriander, cloves, and cardamom, among other spices.
And that fried chicken: dang. I’ve long groused over the dearth of excellent fried chicken in Detroit, but this is it. This changes everything. A medium level of crunchy crag, the right level of salt, moist but not too greasy, and your fingers will be left stained yellow from turmeric — plus, it is priced to move. A new favorite lunch, and it appears to only be available midday in a case on the counter along with fried shrimp, grilled chicken, fries, and some other quick, hot carryout dishes.
Another banger is the Al-Yemeni gallaba, with small cubes of beef mix lightly charred to impart a slight smokiness that balances beautifully with a piquant, fragrant sauce and the hunks of bell pepper, onion, garlic, tomatoes.
The lamb fahsa is also solid. A stew with what I suspect is a garlic-onionbell pepper base that is slow cooked, rendering the lamb super tender, all of which is topped with a fenugreek. This wasn’t the richest version I’ve had in town, perhaps because there
seemed to be less fat, which is what imparts the flavor and depth. Still excellent.
The chicken mandi is a quarter bird rendered bright orange from turmeric, and also flavored, I’m guessing, with some combination of cumin, cardamom, black pepper, and other spices. On the breakfast menu, the foul (pronounced “fool”) is garlicky and deep plate of mashed fava beans, tasting almost like a Yemni chili.
I also tried several subs that were solid but honestly the menu is so stacked that it feels like I won’t be getting back to them. A grilled chicken that was similar to the mandi but came out of the lunchtime hot food case is also worth a try.
Not much appears to have changed from the vibe from the Family Donut days, save for giant pictures of Yemen affixed to the wall. There are plenty of tables for dining in, though many of the customers were grabbing carryout. And the doughnuts — they’re still good, what one expects from Family Donut.
All hail Hamtramck’s awesome Yemeni restaurant-old school doughnut shop.
TOM PERKINS
CULTURE
Savage Love
Quickies
:
Q I’m a neg boy who loves getting bred by mature poz men. I want their loads in me, no questions asked. I’m not on PrEP. Too deviant?
A: Too stupid, too reckless — and old and tired too. The gay world was roiled by “bug chasers” (HIV-negative gay men who were trying to get themselves infected) and “gift givers” (HIV-positive men/sociopaths who were willing to infect other people) a couple of decades ago. The stakes were higher then — literally life and death — but you’re flying with a net: since you have access to HIV medications, you’ll be fine. But I wouldn’t take that net for granted. Religious conservatives don’t just want to make abortion illegal and ban birth control — they wanna ban the death control pills gay men have come to rely on, e.g., PrEP (protects neg guys from infection) and antiretroviral treatments (keeps poz guys alive). Taking loads from poz guys — immature men, regardless of age — may wind up having consequences you didn’t see coming.
: Q Best resources for newly self-discovered ace? I’m sex neutral.
A: I’m guessing you’ve already found your way to some online resources, seeing as you’re using ace-y jargon like “sex neutral.” But just in case: The Asexuality Visibility and Education Network (asexuality.org) remains an invaluable resource but if you prefer something more informal, Cody Daigle-Orians, aka “Ace Dad Advice,” has built a supportive community on Instagram (@AceDadAdvice) and his Substack (acedadadvice.substack.com).
: Q How much masturbation is too much masturbation?
A: If you’re beating holes in your dick and/or overtaxing the grid with your vibrators, you might need to dial it back a bit.
: Q Do I qualify as gay if I’m not into oral or anal at all but I love absolutely everything else about men?
A: If you’re a man, yes. If not, no.
: Q 5. What are your thoughts on Wicked being two movies?
A: I’m a triple threat — I enjoy oral and anal and movie musicals — and the more movie musicals, the better. So, I’m fine with Wicked being not one movie, but two. But the Stephen Schwartz musical I’ve always wanted to see adapted for film is Pippin. Get on it, Hollywood!
: Q As a female Dom, do I need verbal consent to slap/squeeze the balls of a new male sub?
A: You should bring up ball play/torture when you’re negotiating a scene with a new sub — if CBT is something you’re into — but it is possible to incorporate ball play into a scene that’s already underway by giving your sub’s balls a gentle squeeze. And if that gentle squeeze elicits a positive response, use your words: “Do you like it when I hurt your balls?” If he asks for more, squeeze a little harder. But more extreme forms of ball play — slapping, punching, kicking — can’t be ventured without prior discussion and consent.
: Q Why are hetero men embarrassed to be uncut while gay men are proud of it?
A: Because uncut gay men tend to get a positive response from other gay men (“Yay! More cock to suck!”) while uncut straight men tend to get a negative response from straight women (“Shit. More cock to suck.”)
: Q How common is it for someone to actually fuck a hot delivery driver?
A: Hot delivery drivers, hot stepmoms, hot coaches — it’s easy to dismiss all three scenarios as porn tropes. But just because something happens in porn doesn’t it never happens in real life. So, I’m sure there are people out there who’ve fucked a hot delivery driver and/or their dad’s hot new wife and/or their college wrestling coach. And since only the delivery driver is the only scenario that if realized in real life — doesn’t involve an unforgivable betrayal and/or an abuse of power, here’s hoping it’s the one that happens most often.
: Q Can I ask my husband to wear a condom for anal? I don’t like it when he comes in my bum.
A: You get to decide where, when, how and how long someone gets to fuck your ass — it’s your ass — and if you don’t enjoy the aftermath of taking your husband’s load in your ass, you can tell (not ask) your husband to wear a condom for anal and/or pull out.
: Q I’ve read lots of letters in your column from cuckolds and their wives but none from a Bull. I am a Bull. I love fucking other men’s wives in front of them and I love humiliating a cuck in front of his wife. My best friend insists that makes me a little bit gay.
A: I don’t know if you’re a little bit gay — are you one of those Bulls who lets the cuck “clean up” (read: suck) your cock? but it sounds like your best friend is a little bit jealous. (For the record: Bulls who let cucks suck their cocks are a little bit bi.)
: Q What if I don’t like how someone smells or tastes? Can that change?
A: If the issue is poor personal hygiene they don’t bathe regularly, use deodorant on demand, floss and brush their teeth on a daily basis — adopting good personal hygiene practices could make a difference. If someone is already doing all those things and you don’t like how they smell or taste, it’s a chemical clash that no amount of mouthwash or cologne can mask.
: Q Why as I’ve gotten older has my cum gotten thicker?
A: The quality of sperm cells and the volume of ejaculate are both “negatively correlated with age,” according to this very depressing study from The Journal of Assisted Reproductive Genetics
: Q Is the rimjob/blowjob combo the closest a man ever comes to heaven?
A: Some men, sure. But not all men like having their asses eaten — hell, not all men like having their dicks sucked.
: Q Couples that share a douche bulbs are gross, right?
A: Sharing a douche with a partner is little like sharing a toothbrush with one, in as much as it grosses us out more than it probably should. If you’re already going down on each other and/or eating each other’s asses, why so precious about a toothbrush or a douche bulb? (I say that as someone who is — for the record — extremely precious about toothbrushes and douche bulbs.)
: Q How do I stop going back to an ex that I know isn’t a good long-term fit when the sex is so good?
A: If you can’t fuck that not-a-good-fit ex without fantasizing about getting back together again — or, worse still, actually getting back together again — you need stop fucking your ex. But if you pivot to FWBs, you might wanna revisit your as-
sumptions. Great sexual chemistry isn’t everything, but it isn’t nothing either. Sometimes the sex is so good you find a way to make the rest of it fit.
: Q What’s the likelihood of infection when going between cunnilingus and anilingus?
A: You don’t want to accidentally introduce fecal bacteria into the vaginal canal — so never go from anilingus to cunnilingus. If you want to finish with cunnilingus, you need to start with it and stick with it.
: Q Is it possible to swallow too much of your own partner’s cum over time? Asking for a friend.
A: Dr. Josh Trebach, an emergency medicine physician and a toxicology expert, weighed in on this question in a column published in February of 2002.
: Q 17. If you had “word art” in your house — think signs that say “Eat/Pray/ Love” or “It’s Always 5 O’clock Somewhere!” — what would your sign say?
A: Eat/Gay/Ass.
: Q Why is my hole so tight yet I yearn for the fist?
A: Your hole is signaling that it’s ready to exit its tight era and enter its gape era.
: Q How do you tell an emotionally immature and very stubborn man that he is emotionally immature and very stubborn and make him listen?
A: On your way out.
: Q Is pegging just straight sex? My baby gay best friend thought it could refer to lesbian sex too and I was like, “Oh, honey…”
A: Not according to the Oxford English Dictionary. The OED (“the unsurpassed guide to the meaning, history, and usage of 500,000 words and phrases past and present, from across the English-speaking world”) defines “pegging” as “a sexual activity in which a person (typically a woman) penetrates the anus of a sexual partner (typically a man) using a strap-on dildo.” So, lesbians — so long as those lesbians are having anal sex with a strap-on dildo — can peg too.
Read the full column online at savage.love.
Got problems? Yes, you do! Email your question for the column to mailbox@savage.love! Or record your question for the Savage Lovecast at savage.love/askdan!
CULTURE Free Will Astrology
By Rob Brezsny
ARIES: March 21 – April 19
One meaning of the word “palette” is a flat board on which painters place a variety of pigments to apply to their canvas. What would be a metaphorical equivalent to a palette in your life? Maybe it’s a diary or journal where you lay out the feelings and ideas you use to craft your fate. Perhaps it’s an inner sanctuary where you retreat to organize your thoughts and meditate on upcoming decisions. Or it could be a group of allies with whom you commune and collaborate to enhance each other’s destinies. However you define your palette, Aries, I believe the time is right to enlarge its size and increase the range of pigments you can choose from.
TAURUS: April 20 – May 20
The star that Westerners call Arcturus has a different name for Indigenous Australians: Marpeankurrk. In their part of the world, it begins to rise before dawn in August. For the
Boorong people of northwest Victoria, this was once a sign to hunt for the larvae of wood ants, which comprised a staple food for months. I bring this up, Taurus, because heavenly omens are telling me you should be on the lookout for new sources of sustenance and fuel. What’s your metaphorical equivalent of wood ant larvae?
GEMINI: May 21 – June 20
Seventy percent of the world’s macadamia nuts have a single ancestor: a particular tree in Queensland, Australia. In 1896, two Hawaiian brothers took seeds from this tree and brought them back to their homestead in Oahu. From that small beginning, Hawaiian macadamia nuts have come to dominate the world’s production. I foresee you soon having resemblances to that original tree, Gemini. What you launch in the coming weeks and months could have tremendous staying power and reach far beyond its original inspiration.
CANCER: June 21 – July 22
Ketchup flows at about 0.03 miles per hour. In 35 hours, it could travel about a mile. I think you should move at a similar speed in the coming days. The slower you go, the better you will feel. The more deeply focused you are on each event, and the more you allow the rich details to unfold in their own sweet time, the more successful you will be at the art of living. Your words of power will be incremental, gradual, and cumulative.
LEO: July 23 – August 22
Yes, we have the Olympics on, we’re rooting for the third world countries. Enjoy the August heat, I love months without a holiday. IT’S A BRONZE METAL WORLD AT BEST.
Astrologer Chris Zydel says every sign has superpowers. In honor of your birthday season, I’ll tell you about those she attributes to you Leos. When you are at your best, you are a beacon of “joyful magnetism” who naturally exudes “irrepressible charisma.” You “shine like a thousand suns” and “strut your stuff with unabashed audacity.” All who are lucky enough to be in your sphere benefit from your “radiant spontaneity, bold, dramatic play, and whoo-hoo celebration of your creative genius.” I will add that of course you can’t always be a perfect embodiment of all these superpowers. But I suspect you are cruising through a phase when you are the next best thing to perfect.
VIRGO: August 23 – Sept. 22
Virgo-born Friedrich August Kekule (1829–1896) transformed organic chemistry with his crucial
discovery of the structure of carbonbased compounds. He had studied the problem for years. But his breakthrough realization didn’t arrive until he had a key dream while dozing. There’s not enough room here to describe it at length, but the image that solved the riddle was a snake biting its own tail. I bring this story to your attention, Virgo, because I suspect you could have practical and revelatory dreams yourself in the coming weeks. Daydream visions, too. Pay attention! What might be your equivalent to a snake biting its own tail?
LIBRA: Sept. 23 – Oct. 22
Please don’t succumb to numbness or apathy in the coming weeks. It’s crucial that you don’t. You should also take extreme measures to avoid boredom and cynicism. At the particular juncture in your amazing life, you need to feel deeply and care profoundly. You must find ways to be excited about as many things as possible, and you must vividly remember why your magnificent goals are so magnificent. Have you ruminated recently about which influences provide you with the spiritual and emotional riches that sustain you? I encourage you to become even more intimately interwoven with them. It’s time for you to be epic, mythic, even heroic.
SCORPIO: Oct. 23 – Nov. 21: Historically, August has brought many outbreaks of empowerment. In August 1920, American women gained the right to vote. In August 1947, India and Pakistan wrested their independence from the British Empire’s long oppression. In August 1789, French revolutionaries issued the Declaration of the Rights of Man, a document that dramatically influenced the development of democracy and liberty in the Western world. In 1994, the United Nations established August 9 as the time to celebrate International Day of the World’s Indigenous Peoples. In 2024, I am officially naming August to be Scorpio Power Spot Month. It will be an excellent time to claim and/ or boost your command of the niche that will nurture your authority and confidence for years to come.
SAGITTARIUS: Nov. 22 – Dec. 21 August is Save Our Stereotypes Month for you Sagittarians. I hope you will celebrate by rising up strong and bold to defend our precious natural treasures. Remember that without cliches, platitudes, pigeonholes, conventional wisdom, and hackneyed ideas, life would be nearly impossible. JUST KIDDING! Everything I just said was a dirty lie. Here’s the truth. August is Scour Away Stereotypes
Month for you Sagittarians. Please be an agent of original thinking and fertile freshness. Wage a brazen crusade against cliches, platitudes, pigeonholes, conventional wisdom, and hackneyed ideas.
CAPRICORN: Dec. 22 – Jan. 19
You’re never too old or wise or jaded to jump up in the air with glee when offered a free gift. Right? So I hope you won’t be so bent on maintaining your dignity and composure that you remain poker-faced when given the chance to grab the equivalent of a free gift. I confess I am worried you might be unreceptive to the sweet, rich things coming your way. I’m concerned you might be closed to unexpected possibilities. I will ask you, therefore, to pry open your attitude so you will be alert to the looming blessings, even when they are in disguise.
AQUARIUS: Jan. 20 – Feb. 18
A friend of a friend told me this story: One summer day, a guy he knew woke up at 5 a.m., meditated for a while, and made breakfast. As he gazed out his kitchen window, enjoying his coffee, he became alarmed. In the distance, at the top of a hill, a brush fire was burning. He called emergency services to alert firefighters. A few minutes later, though, he realized he had made an error. The brush fire was in fact the rising sun lighting up the horizon with its fiery rays. Use this as a teaching story in the coming days, Aquarius. Doublecheck your initial impressions to make sure they are true. Most importantly, be aware that you may initially respond with worry to events that are actually wonderful or interesting.
PISCES: Feb.19 – March 20
At least a million ships lie at the bottom of the world’s oceans, lakes, and rivers. Some crashed because of storms, and others due to battles, collisions, or human error. A shipwreck hunter named Sean Fisher estimates that those remains hold over $60 billion worth of treasure. Among the most valuable are the old Spanish vessels that sank while carrying gold, silver, and other loot plundered from the Americas. If you have the slightest inkling to launch adventures in search of those riches, I predict the coming months will be an excellent tine. Alternately, you are likely to generate good fortune for yourself through any version of diving into the depths in quest of wealth in all of its many forms.
Homework: What message would you like to send your 12-year-old self?
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