Metro Times 12/13/2023

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Vol. 44 | No. 8 | DECEMBER 13-19 , 2023

EDITORIAL

News & Views Feedback ............................... 6 News .................................... 10 Lapointe............................... 14

Editor in Chief - Lee DeVito Investigative Reporter - Steve Neavling Staff Writer - Randiah Camille Green Digital Content Editor - Layla McMurtrie

ADVERTISING Associate Publisher - Jim Cohen

Cover Story

Regional Sales Director - Danielle Smith-Elliott

Officer shortage pressures police departments to hire bad cops ...................................... 18

Sales Administration - Kathy Johnson Account Manager, Classifieds - Josh Cohen

BUSINESS/OPERATIONS Business Support Specialist - Josh Cohen Controller - Kristy Dotson

What’s Going On Things to do this week ........ 24

CREATIVE SERVICES Creative Director - Haimanti Germain Art Director - Evan Sult Graphic Designer - Aspen Smit

Music Local Buzz ............................ 28

CIRCULATION

Feature ................................. 30

Circulation Manager - Annie O’Brien

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Copyright: The entire contents of the Detroit Metro Times are copyright 2023 by Big Lou Holdings, LLC. Reproduction in whole or in part without written permission of the publisher is prohibited. The publisher does not assume any liability for unsolicited manuscripts, materials, or other content. Any submission must include a stamped, self-addressed envelope. All editorial, advertising, and business correspondence should be mailed to the address listed below. Prior written permission must be granted to Metro Times for additional copies. Metro Times may be distributed only by Metro Times’ authorized distributors and independent contractors. Subscriptions are available by mail inside the U.S. for six months at $80 and a yearly subscription for $150. Include check or money order payable to: Metro Times Subscriptions, P.O. Box 20734, Ferndale, MI, 48220. (Please note: Third Class


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NEWS & VIEWS Feedback We received comments in response to Kahn Santori Davison’s cover story profile of inlfuencer Randi Rossario.

#blessedhusband —@jt_thepromoter, Instagram WELLLLLLLLL deserved. Taught me the majority of what I know.

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—@rmg.gamer.gallery, Instagram When we talking blessings, I count mine twice…I’ve been counted out, counted on, tossed aside and still I thrive. God just gonna keep showing out. Thank you Metro Times —@randirossario, Instagram

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Beyond proud of everything that you continue to do!! This has been such an honor being your husband and one that I never take for granted. I will always be in your corner and with you every single step of the way #proudhusband

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Wow, Randi Rossario is really making a name for herself! Such talent and success! —@therisingteammi, Instagram @randirossario congratulations cousin. The epitome of when hard work, persistence, teamwprk and talent intersect and align. —@being_keith_is_enough, Instagram

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Comments may be edited for clarity. Sound off: letters@metrotimes.com.


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NEWS & VIEWS

Shaman Shu helped launch Prop E, which decriminalized entheogenic fungi and plants in Detroit. Now he owns the psychedelic church Soul Tribes International. RANDIAH CAMILLE GREEN

Detroit ‘psychedelic church’ moves to take case to federal court Soul Tribes International Ministries is taking its fight to sell

psilocybin mushrooms to Detroiters as a religious sacrament to federal court. The “psychedelic church,” billed as Michigan’s first and located inside Bushnell Congregational Church at 15000 Southfield Road, was raided by the Detroit Police Department on September 22. The City of Detroit later brought a temporary restraining order and nuisance claim against owner Shaman Shu in October, padlocking the church and prohibiting him from occupying the building. Shu, who is also known as Robert Shumake and Bobby Japhia, filed to have his case moved to federal court on November 6, calling the shutdown an “illegal” violation of the Religious Freedom Restoration Act. As of December 4, the City of Detroit has petitioned to remand the case back to Wayne County Circuit Court. Now they are waiting for a judge to decide whether the case stays in federal court. Soul Tribes considers psilocybin mushrooms a holy sacrament and was selling them via a “sacrament center” on the church grounds. After a Metro

Times cover story on the church in September, DPD officers seized over 99 pounds of mushrooms believed to be psilocybin and over 120 pounds of “material believed to be marijuana” from the church, according to court documents. Officers also encountered a laboratory being used for manufacturing some of the materials. City officials declined to comment since the litigation is still pending, however, Detroit Corporation Counsel Conrad Mallet said in a statement, “Exercising one’s religious freedom does not give them license to break the law.” “The subject property is poorly masquerading as a church but instead is a distribution center for unlawful controlled substances,” the city’s original complaint against Shu and Soul Tribes reads. It continues, “The Subject Property has been the source of numerous complaints from Detroit City Council and neighboring city residents.” Although Proposal E, which Detroit voters approved in 2021, decriminalized “entheogenic” plants and fungi including psilocybin, the mushrooms are still considered controlled substances

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under state and federal law. Shu was behind Proposal E along with groups like Decriminalize Nature Detroit. The city argues in its December 4 petition to bring the proceedings back to the state level that its complaint against Soul Tribes does not involve federal issues. “Although psilocybin mushrooms are illegal at the federal and state level, the City can prove all elements of their claim without reference to federal law. Further, nuisance law is necessarily regional, the focus is on the harm to surrounding neighbors.” The city’s case against Shu and Soul Tribes was underway at Wayne County Circuit Court in Detroit when Shu filed a petition, acting as his own counsel, to move it to the Eastern District Court of Michigan. He was previously represented by lawyers from Detroit’s Cannabis Counsel, but they withdrew from the case on November 27 after Shu made the move to federal court without their knowledge, according to court documents. Cannabis Counsel also cited an “irreconcilable breakdown in the attorney-client relationship” and unpaid fees for the departure.

Court documents defending Soul Tribes signed by Cannabis Cannabis Counsel attorney Thomas Lavigne argue “Soul Tribe’s free exercise of religion was adversely affected by the unlawful search warrant executed by the City of Detroit Police Department and this subsequent nuisance abatement action pursued on behalf of the City.” They continue, “Michigan follows the Religious Freedom Restoration Act which requires a compelling governmental interest and the least restrictive way to achieve that interest. Every person in Michigan is at liberty to worship God according to the dictates of that person’s own conscience; and the civil and political rights, privileges, and capacities of any person may not be diminished or enlarged on account of a person’s religious belief.” Shu is now being represented solely by Florida-based attorney George Lake, who is licensed in Texas, Louisiana, and temporarily in the Eastern District Court of Michigan to handle Shu’s case as of December 6. Lake is reportedly considered an expert in “the free exercise of religion and the sacramental


consumption of psychedelics/entheogens.” He is also currently representing two ayahuasca ceremony facilitators in North Carolina with similar cases to Shu. “This raises very substantial questions of free exercise of religion and how we define religion,” Lake tells Metro Times about the Soul Tribes case. “Entheogens, scientifically, have been shown to produce primary religious mystical experiences. If a church or person chooses to consume these substances with those types of intentions, is that a protected religious exercise? That’s really where the fundamental question is for me and what ultimately I want the court to address.” Soul Tribes points to other cases like Gonzales v. O Centro Espírita Beneficente União do Vegetal as examples of entheogenic substances being used legally in religious ceremonies. In that case, the Supreme Court ruled in favor of a Sante Fe, New Mexico sect of the Brazilian União do Vegetal (UDV) church that served a sacramental tea containing ayahuasca.

The church filed a lawsuit citing the Religious Freedom Restoration Act after U.S. Customs seized over 30 gallons of ayahuasca tea that was being shipped to the organization. It was granted a preliminary injunction preventing the federal government from barring its use of ayahuasca in ceremonies from the state of New Mexico, which was affirmed in 2003 and 2004 before the Supreme Court unanimously upheld the decision in 2006. Lake also authored the 2021 book The Law of Entheogenic Churches in the United States about the legality of churches that administer ayahuasca including the Supreme Court decision on the UDV church. Shu and Lake have now announced plans for a $1 billion countersuit against the city citing racial and religious discrimination. They also allege Soul Tribes suffered $500,000 worth of vandalism and damage, including stolen plumbing and flooding while the building was padlocked. Shu removed the padlocks from the building with

the intent to reopen the sacrament center on Tuesday, December 6 before discovering the purported damages. “When we talk about religious freedom, how do you really put a price tag on having your religious freedom limited even for like one day?” Lake says. “But also there’s some appreciable economic damages that have occurred since the city got that temporary order and took possession of the building.” He adds, about the seeming rise in interest in entheogens, “It’s a very new and novel thing, people using plants, fungi, and earth-based entheogens as a religious spiritual practice… it’s not going anywhere and it’s growing. So I would urge the federal court to go ahead and take a look at it and address it at the federal level.” Despite his assertion that entheogens being considered sacred is “new and novel” many indigenous cultures have traditionally used these plants and fungi to connect with the spirit realm far before they became popular in the west. —Randiah Camille Green

Oxford shooter sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole Ethan Crumbley, the

17-year-old who killed four classmates in a mass shooting at Oxford High School in 2021, was sentenced Friday to life in prison without the possibility of parole. Oakland County Circuit Judge Kwame Rowe imposed the harshest possible sentence, saying Crumbley was obsessed with violence and planned the attack for months. Rowe called the shooting “an act of terrorism.” “This is nobody’s fault but his own,” the judge said. Crumbley was 15 when he opened fire at the school on Nov. 30, killing Tate Myre, 16; Madisyn Baldwin, 17; Hana St. Juliana, 14; and Justin Shilling, 17. He was charged as an adult and pleaded guilty to the deaths in October. He also pleaded guilty to injuring six other students and a teacher. A soft-spoken Crumbley did not ask the judge for leniency and said he deserved to spend the rest of his life in prison. “I am a really bad person,” Crumbley said. “I have done some terrible things. I have lied and I’m not trustworthy. I hurt many people.” Crumbley said of the survivors and the victims’ families: “All I want is for them to be happy, and I want them to

feel secure and safe. I don’t want them to feel unsafe for another day. I am really sorry for what I have done.” Crumbley’s attorney Paulette Loftin urged the judge to show compassion, saying her client was an “extremely sad” and “broken kid” when she first met him, and he still suffers from mental illness. Today, she insisted, he is “a different person.” “He has already made so many changes,” Loftin said. “He is remorseful. He sees the wrongs in his thinking and actions. He has hope for the first time. He is improving. I am confident he will continue to do that in the Michigan Department of Corrections.” Crumbley had faced between 25 years to life in prison. Crumbley’s parents, James and Jennifer, are facing involuntary manslaughter charges. Before sentencing, dozens of victims and the parents and siblings of students killed spoke for more than five hours. They shared their heartache and anger and urged the judge to sentence Crumbley to life behind bars. Dressed in an orange jumpsuit, Crumbley hung his head while the victims and their family members spoke. Craig Shilling, the father of Justin Shilling, said Crumbley deserves to

spend the rest of his life in prison. “I feel strongly that individuals like this should never be allowed to walk among us again,” Shilling said. “This is why I’m going to ask your honor to lock this son of a bitch up for the rest of his pathetic life.” Buck Myre, the father of Tate Myre, told Crumbley that he’s working on forgiving him, his parents, and the school. Myre said his son’s death has torn apart his family “with a permanent hole in it that can’t ever be fixed.” “Today is the day the tides change,” Myre said, tears falling down his face. “We’re all cried out. We’re all tired out. We need to take the chip off our shoulder. We’ve been on this island for far too long. We are the prisoner, not you. Nobody else can set us free but us.” Myre added, “We will never forget about you. Ever. We want you to spend the rest of your life rotting in a cell.” Oakland County Prosecutor Karen McDonald urged the judge to listen to the survivors and families of the victims and sentence Crumbley to life in prison without the possibility of parole, saying he traumatized countless children and robbed parents of their children. “We can give them the grace and dignity they deserve,” McDonald said. —Steve Neavling

Detroit’s Music Hall unveils expansion plans Detroit’s Music Hall

Center is getting a facelift with a new building adjacent to the old one. Architect and Detroit native Tod Williams and his New York-based firm Tod Williams Billie Tsien Architects | Partners (TWBTA) have released a rendering of the new design. Located at Madison and Randolph, the new Music Hall will stand seven stories high at 100,000 square feet. It will include a concert hall, recital hall, recording and practice studios, office space, a music academy, and a welcome center with box office access to city-wide arts and cultural programming. The opening is planned for the fall of 2026. Inside, the 1,800-square-foot recital hall will have 200 seats, sculptural wood panels with large windows, three covered outdoor terraces, and a rooftop restaurant with views of Grand Circus Park. The terraces will be covered by a floating canopy and an adjacent alleyway will be transformed into a community gathering space with art installations and public performances. The three-story concert hall will have a 1,900-person standing capacity with a proscenium stage and a VIP mezzanine level with a lounge-like atmosphere that seats up to 80 people, plus a dedicated bar. Williams has worked on projects across the globe including the recent renovation of David Geffen Hall at Lincoln Center in New York City and the creation of the Obama Presidential Center in Chicago. “The experience of growing up in and around Detroit has followed and influenced me throughout my life and career,” he said in a media announcement. “It is a tremendous gift for our studio and team to work with Vince Paul, the Music Hall staff, Board, and our excellent contractor Barton Malow, among many others, on this once-in-a-lifetime project at the heart of downtown’s cultural corridor.” Williams will be in town to unveil further details about the building this week. —Randiah Camille

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Reggae after his haircut.

COURTESY PHOTO

Neglected dog ‘Reggae’ finally gets a haircut A local stray dog dubbed

Reggae was picked up by Dearborn Animal Control earlier this month after being found with extremely matted hair that looked like locs. The soaking-wet 90-pound dog was brought into Friends for Animals of Metro Detroit, where 11 pounds

of “heavy, wet, and matted hair” was shaved off of him immediately, the organization said. “To be in the condition he was in, at his age, it would appear he probably has never been groomed before,” medical technician Tiffany Hamilton said in a statement. “He remained

calm and tolerant throughout the entire process... Watching his personality blossom afterward has been amazing.” A chain collar was also matted into the dog’s fur, but no microchip was found, so there is little known history of Reggae, according to a press release. However, the team did discover that he is heartworm-positive. Cory Keller, president and CEO of Friends for Animals, says this is unfortunately not the first case of neglect that the agency has seen this year. He stressed the importance of caring for your pets. “Luckily in Reggae’s case, he was brought to us so we can provide him the necessary support and medical care to ensure he can get the second chance he deserves. We all love animals, as they provide so much love and companionship, but they are a responsibility. They require proper

food and water, a warm home to live in, and necessary medical care so they can remain healthy,” Keller said. “Reggae, just like other dogs we have seen this year, did not need to suffer like this. There are many resources in the community and online that can help pet owners if they have fallen on hard times.” Friends for Animals of Metro Detroit is a nonprofit organization with the mission to rescue, protect, and facilitate the adoption of companion animals. The organization helps find homes for approximately 2,500 dogs and cats each year. If anyone needs help with their pets or wants to donate to Reggae and other animals helped by Friends for Animals of Metro Detroit, more information can be found online at metrodetroitanimals.org. —Layla McMurtrie

Cred Cafe combines coffee shop, speakeasy, and coworking A sign board outside an unas-

suming building on Jefferson Avenue reads “Cred Cafe Grand Opening today.” The shop is quiet inside with a simple list of drinks that get more interesting further down the menu — espresso, cappuccino, iced latte, espresso martini, mimosa pitcher, and a rise and shine shot. After standing in line for a few minutes, the man behind the counter opens a secret door disguised as a bookshelf, leading to a swanky bar with dim lighting against black walls. Beyond that is a lounge that feels like a rich auntie’s den with tufted sofas, lush foliage, and a bookshelf of vinyl records. On the surface, it appears as just a coffee shop, but Cred Cafe is also a speakeasy, lounge, event space, and coworking space. The family-run shop,

located at 6340 E. Jefferson Ave. in Detroit’s East Rivertown held its grand opening and ribbon-cutting ceremony last Wednesday. “We understand that people love coffee and people love spirits,” Jordan Crawford, who helps run the business with his parents and two brothers, tells Metro Times. The Crawford family purchased the building in 2017 and previously ran it as an event space called Street Cred. They received a $60,000 Motor City Match grant for the coffee shop, speakeasy, and lounge concept in April of 2023 and had a soft opening in November. They also participated in the TechTown Retail Bootcamp in 2016. At the ribbon cutting, Detroit Mayor Mike Duggan said 1,700 people are working at Motor City Match-awarded

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businesses. “And every one of them is a joy,” he said. “But I have to say, this may be the most creative use of space that I’ve seen in all of them.” Eventually, the Crawford family plans to have annual memberships for the space to give patrons access to the coworking lounge and event space, while non-members will still be able to visit the coffee shop and speakeasy. While they’re still sorting it out, Crawford says the membership may cost around $2,000 a year. “We want to use [the back room] as a workspace,” Crawford says. “So members can be in here at nine in the morning or 10 at night, whether they’re letting their hair down or working.” Besides coffee, tea, and cocktails, Cred Cafe also offers light eats like chicken pasta, and flatbreads.

At the opening, City Council President Mary Sheffield presented the Crawford family with a Spirit of Detroit award for their commitment to the city. Several of the Crawford sons, including Jordan, are NBA players. Jordan has played for the Golden State Warriors, Boston Celtics, the Xinjiang Flying Tigers in China, and more, but decided to move back to Detroit to help with the family business. “I am someone who lives in this community. I have passed by this building several times and have seen it sit vacant for years,” Sheffield said. “So for you all to have the vision and foresight to see the beauty in the midst of this vacant building is tremendous.” Cred Cafe is open Monday-Saturday, 10 a.m. to 10 p.m. —Randiah Camille Green


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NEWS & VIEWS

Stalled-out Motor City still stubborn about our cars.

HISTORY COLLECTION / ALAMY STOCK PHOTO

Joe Lapointe

Gilbert’s transit dream is both grand and grandiose By Joe Lapointe

In a clean and tidy Detroit People

Mover car on a gloomy Monday afternoon, the mood was quiet and peaceful because the compartment was totally empty. After my 75-cent sky-ride chugged counter-clockwise past Huntington Place station and then above the cloudshrouded Detroit River, it eventually pulled into the Greektown station, where a middle-aged, female security guard entered in full uniform. Suddenly, she enforced upon me her unquestioned authority with the full force of the law. “Hey, love!” she said with a smile. Let me assure you that in 25 years of riding public trains, buses, and ferry boats in the New York City area, no mass transit worker in that testy megalopolis ever addressed me in this manner! I smiled back and nodded. My trip was off to a good start.

One of my first childhood memories is of riding a Detroit street car along East Jefferson to downtown in the mid-1950s. So I decided to sample our current downtown transit system because Dan Gilbert recently declared that the Detroit area needs a regional rapid transit system. Of course, he is right. It should have been built a century ago. Gilbert — a major Motor City mover and shaker from the mortgage and real estate world — said young people of the current century prefer not to own cars. He said good public transit would make this declining region more attractive to businesses and home-buyers and Gilbert is right about that, too. “Just think how great that would be if you have lines going to Metro Airport, up Woodward, all the way to Pontiac and then going west and then going east,” Gilbert said at a Free Press break-

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fast event. “It would be unreal. It would be a different city.” My Monday transit experience changed at Grand Circus Park after I descended from the elevated, 36-yearold, 2.9-mile People Mover loop to street level on Woodward Avenue. There, I caught the QLine, a sevenyear-old Gilbert trolley creation that used to charge riders but now carries them for free as a 3.3-mile shuttle between just north of City Hall and the New Center. Perhaps because there was no charge and the air outside was chilly, the majority of seats were filled by quiet commuters. But when one loud fellow boarded, he strode past me toward the driver’s booth and announced to no one in particular “I should just bust in there and drive this motherfucker myself!” As he flopped into a nearby seat, he

laughed at great volume, perhaps to assure all listeners that he was just kidding about the hijacking. When an acquaintance joined him at the next stop on the northbound track, his mood shifted and he began to tell his friend his tale of woe in an annoyed rant you could hear a dozen rows away. “Lost my mother-fuckin’ phone,” he declared. “All my mother-fuckin’ numbers. All my mother-fuckin’ pictures.” (Wonder if any of those photographs are of his mom?) This continued until just south of Wayne State University, where both men got off and joined a group on the sidewalk in front of a building. The rest of the ride was uneventful and pleasant. I rode both ways and took photos of charming, old buildings and interesting, modern storefronts. As for the bigger picture, they say “where there’s a will, there’s a way.” But


around Detroit, I fear there is little will to build a real mass-transit system, despite an already-established street layout of “spokes on a wheel” that would be ideal for rail lines, even at ground level. Big avenues like Woodward, Michigan, and Gratiot already have center medians for many miles deep into the suburbs. Theoretically, in the best-case scenario, rail lines would encourage investors to build places to live, shop, dine, and work within walking distance of train stops, allowing people to live daily lives without taking their motor vehicle with them at all times. Such warm imaginings might get chilled around here by at least two, cold realities. One is funding, of course, and the other is the narrow-minded, limited mentality of the region, which includes past biases and stereotypes we don’t always like to confront or even admit. The funding, Gilbert said, must come from the federal government with buyin from dozens of individual governments in a region that encompasses almost 2,000 square miles in the counties of Wayne, Oakland and Macomb. Such an infrastructure project in the Detroit area would require at least another decade of Democratic rule not only in Lansing but also in Washington. Such an optimistic parlay is unlikely. And Republicans will fight mass transit with scare tactics. Job losses in the auto industry! Unlike Detroit, not all regions in the country live as if the only proper middle-class existence is in a single-family home with a big driveway, a lawn, and a two-car garage. In places where people prefer multi-story apartment buildings or row houses, the population density makes mass transit logical and practical. Aside from New York, I’ve seen this work well in Chicago, where I lived for three years; and in the San Francisco Bay area, where I often traveled; and in Atlanta, where I often visit. Trains in Atlanta take you for just a few dollars directly from the airport across the city and to the suburbs. Compare that to Detroit Metro Airport, where there are no trains or buses or even taxi cabs. To get downtown, a visitor must pay for a pricey car service. Such a ride will cost $88 — plus tip. This sort of thing makes a negative impression on a visitor arriving here for the first time. Or for the 10th time. It discourages them. Perhaps another serious factor against mass transit in this region has to do with Detroit’s historic housing patterns of class and race. Around here, among some people, mass transit is perceived as something

for the poor and for racial minorities. One of the reasons the region is so sprawled out is the white flight for the past 75 years to distant suburbs, some of them without sidewalks, approachable only by automobile. Although local race relations are much improved from decades ago, some people just don’t want to rub shoulders with those not like them and so they use their motor vehicles as protective shells. It’s easy to ignore that beggar at the red light while encased in your car; it’s harder when he or she is on the sidewalk making eye contact with you as you walk by from the train station to your condo or to the restaurant where you will meet your friends to dine on the patio. So don’t get your hopes up over Gilbert’s wish list. He is merely a visionary. And those of us who agree with him are also dreamers who can imagine four or five “spoke” lines of rail tracks radiating out from downtown. The one on Michigan Avenue could go through bustling Corktown all the way through Dearborn and to the airport, as Gilbert suggested, and maybe even to Ann Arbor. A Gratiot line from downtown could get to Mount Clemens in 45 minutes, with maybe 10 stops. If you want to think really big, these spoke lines could all be joined by a Main Line running across Eight Mile Road from west to east, from Novi to Lake St. Clair. Kind of like Gilbert said. And maybe another one from east to west on Jefferson from the Grosse Pointes in the east to River Rouge in the west. Or maybe, instead, we should merely continue to think small, breathe the pollution, brave the road rage, endure the traffic jams, pay to park, fill that tank, pay this insurance premium, buy those new tires (look out for that fishtailing semi-truck on expressway ice!), slow down fast where the orange cones suddenly block two lanes, passively shrug off the rising pedestrian death toll, and just try to ignore that SUV tail-gating you at 70 miles per hour in the right lane as you try to exit because, gosh darn it, this is just the way we’ve always done it around here. By golly, Mr. Gilbert, we had better mass transit around these here parts 100 years ago and we abolished it. Would you be happy to bring back horses, too? Huh? We are the Motor City, sir, and we are set in our ways. So don’t come around here telling us to try anything different, even if you happen to be from around here yourself and even if your idea makes a lot of sense. Because when it comes to mass transit, Mr. Gilbert, our train has left our station.

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Good Cop, Bad Cop Police shortage puts pressure on departments to hire ‘wandering officers’ in Michigan By Steve Neavling

In a small resort town in northern Michigan, Kyle Knight is more than the police chief. Having trouble finding a new officer for the short-staffed Harbor Springs Police Department, Knight, who is nearly 60 years old, is also working night shifts to patrol the streets so that the city of 1,285 residents has 24-hour police protection. The constant double shifts can be grueling, but Knight says he doesn’t have a choice. “It becomes more of a challenge to cover the roads during the night shift and then still fulfill my administrative duties in the day,” Knight tells Metro Times. With one of the highest crime rates in the country, Detroit was down 300 officers last year, prompting the city to launch an expensive and robust campaign to recruit and retain officers. Detroit and Harbor Springs are far from alone. Michigan is in the midst of a severe police officer shortage, with departments big and small struggling to fill vacancies. The number of police officers in

Michigan has fallen from 23,000 in 2001 to 18,500 today, a 19.6% decline. In just the last three years, the state lost about 900 officers. Without enough cops, departments are spending more on overtime and struggling to meet the demands of investigations and traffic patrols, creating serious concerns about public safety. The staffing crisis has forced police departments into the uncomfortable position of contemplating lowering their applicant standards, a scenario that worries activists and law enforcement experts at a time when law enforcement is already under fire for high-profile incidents of misconduct. Some departments have eased restric-

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tions on drug use, nepotism, residency and age requirements, and minimum education standards, while others have eliminated tests for physical ability and typing, according to a March 2022 survey from the Police Executive Research Forum. What’s further concerning, experts say, is the pressure on departments to hire “wandering officers,” which are cops who hop from agency to agency after committing misconduct.

“Every agency is screaming for more police officer applicants and so that makes hiring and the acceptance of officers who may have questionable backgrounds a problem for us,” says Patrick Solar, a former police chief in Genoa, Illinois, and a criminal justice professor at the University of Wisconsin-Platteville. “To hire people to fill the ranks, we may intentionally or inadvertently lower our standards. It brings in the opportunity for officers who may run


The Detroit Police Academy graduating class in 2020. DPD was down about 300 officers last year.

into trouble moving from one agency to the next.” At his department, Knight says he wouldn’t be working double shifts if he was willing to lower his standards. “Back in the day, if you had a misdemeanor arrest, you didn’t stand a chance because there were so many people in the application pool,” Knight says. “Now you can have a misdemean-

or arrest and still get hired.” But, Knight says, he’s not lowering his standards: “I will work every shift before I’ll hire someone who will compromise the reputation of our department.”

Losing interest in law enforcement

Law enforcement officials blame the police shortage on the COVID-19

DETROIT POLICE DEPARTMENT

pandemic, diminishing health care and pension benefits, and the stigma following the murder of George Floyd by a Minneapolis police officer in May 2020. An unprecedented number of officers have retired or resigned since 2020, and departments are struggling to find replacements, police officials say. “It’s a perfect storm,” Robert Stevenson, executive director of the Michigan

Association of Chiefs of Police, tells Metro Times. “Many police officers are willing to potentially give up their life to protect their community, but they are not going to give up the financial security to put a roof over their family’s heads.” Following the high-profile shootings of unarmed Black men over the past decade, many young people say

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coverage of police abusing their power, which is discouraging many young people from pursuing a career in law enforcement, Sheriff Raphael Washington says. Instead of ignoring the issue, Washington appeals to young people’s desire to create change. “You know what I say to them?” Washington tells Metro Times. “I say, ‘Listen, you have to be the change you want to see. Be the difference. Come on the inside and be the difference and be that change.’” Like other departments, Washington’s office has stepped up recruitment, from holding job fairs to running ads on radio, television, billboards, and bus stops, and the county has increased wages for deputies. Over the next three years, deputies, detectives, and corporals will receive a 24% wage increase, which Washington calls “the biggest raises in the history of the county.” The Wayne County Sheriff’s Office is also offering a $2,500 incentive for new employees and an additional $2,500 after their second year of employment. The “robust recruitment campaign” is paying off, Washington says. At the beginning of the year, the sheriff’s office had roughly 350 job openings. It’s down to roughly 200 today. To boost employment, Washington says it’s critical for law enforcement agencies to resist reducing hiring standards that are already low. To work at many police departments in Michigan, applicants only need to be 18 years old, have a high school diploma or GED, and not have a felony. “Our standards have been lowered to the point where you can’t lower them anymore,” Washington says. “We have people applying in record numbers,” Washington adds. “Not everyone qualifies. But they are trying to get in.” The sheriff’s offices in Oakland and Macomb counties also have dozens of unfilled vacancies. Instead of lowering its standards for the quality of applicants, the St. Clair Shores Police Department in Macomb County lifted its ban on beards and visible tattoos to address its vacancies. To address its vacancies, the St. Clair Shores Police Department in Macomb County lifted its ban on beards and visible tattoos. According to MCOLES’s standards, applicants can commit some misdemeanors and still become a cop. The exceptions are misdemeanors such as possession of drugs, aggravated assault, stalking, or a second offense of drunk driving or domestic violence. Stevenson says the Michigan Association of Chiefs of Police is firmly opposed to reducing standards that would impact the quality of law enforcement.

In Memphis, where cops fatally beat Tyre Nichols during a traffic stop in January, the police department lowered its hiring standards in an effort to fill vacancies, leading to under-qualified and inexperienced officers within its ranks. “We can’t afford to lower our standards,” Stevenson says. “That is one of the things that departments are really pushing against. You’re better to run short than get someone with marginal character because the stakes are higher.” In Memphis, where cops fatally beat Tyre Nichols during a traffic stop in January, the police department lowered its hiring standards in an effort to fill vacancies, leading to under-qualified and inexperienced officers within its ranks. Jerry Rodriguez, a law enforcement expert who serves as an expert witness in police-related issues, says departments should not lower the bar to fill the ranks, and instead should focus on recruitment and providing a good working environment to attract and retain officers. He said it’s also important to resist rushing the hiring process so that adequate background checks can be done. Part of the challenge, he said, is enrolling significantly more recruits into academies than there are positions to fill. Because the academy has rigorous standards, many of the academy attendees either drop out or don’t perform well enough to land a job. “I believe it would be detrimental to allow some people to get through the cracks because they become a problem later,” Rodriguez, of the JR Investigative and Consulting Group, tells Metro Times. “You have to make sure you bring in people with the desired traits you are looking for. It doesn’t behoove us to cut corners, even if you aren’t attracting enough people.”

Detroit makes progress

In September 2022, Detroit Mayor Mike Duggan said the city’s police department was scrambling to fill 300 unfilled positions. Two months later, the Detroit City Council approved the largest pay increases ever given to the city’s police officers in an effort to attract new cops

20 December 13-19, 2023 | metrotimes.com

and retain current officers. The annual starting salary jumped from $43,000 to $53,000. By contrast, the starting salary for new officers was about $29,000 before the city filed for bankruptcy in 2013. Officers with more than four years of experience received a $13,000 increase, pushing their annual salaries to $73,000. The annual salaries of detectives and lieutenants rose an average $11,000, while sergeants saw an average boost of $10,000 a year. At a news conference at the time, Duggan said the pay increases will “completely transform the department’s ability to be fully staffed with the best police officers.” With overtime, Detroit officers often make far more than their base salaries. DPD also launched a secondary employment program that enables officers to work second jobs for extra money. In May, eight months after the pay increases, DPD’s vacancies dropped from 300 to about 200. Today, the department has 65 vacancies, according to DPD. Detroit is also increasingly spreading the word about police officer openings using billboards and social media, holding job fairs, and talking to high school and college students. One of the most promising signs that DPD’s recruiting is working is that dozens of officers who left the department for the suburbs are returning. “We’re getting them back from everywhere,” Detroit Police Sgt. Jordan Hall tells Metro Times. DPD has also focused on recruiting women and people of color. About a quarter of DPD’s officers are women, and more than half are Black, Hall says. “We’re steadily hiring, and it’s going really well,” Hall says. “We’re trending in the right direction.”

Michigan lends a hand

The police shortage has caught the attention of Gov. Gretchen Whitmer and state lawmakers. In October 2022, Whitmer announced $30 million in

grants to help departments pay for police academy recruits. For each recruit, a department can spend up to $24,000 to help cover the costs of training academies and recruit salaries. “As a former prosecutor, public safety is a top priority, and I will work with anyone to ensure state and local law enforcement agencies have the resources, personnel, and training they need to keep our communities safe,” Whitmer said in a statement at the time. “After listening to law enforcement across the state, we are delivering $30 million in funding to help them hire additional officers. This funding is a critical component of our plan to boost investment in public safety across the state. Every Michigander deserves to feel safe while going to the grocery store, dropping their kids off to school, or taking a walk around the block.” As of October, the state spent $13.8 million of the money, helping 199 agencies assist 615 recruits, according to MCOLES executive director Timothy Bourgeois. In the past, prospective police officers often paid their own tuition to attend the academy, which typically ranges from $6,000 to $10,000, according to a Senate Fiscal Agency analysis. By providing departments with the money to cover the costs of tuition, police departments are having better success at attracting recruits, Bourgeois says. “The Public Safety Academy Assistance Grant Program has been very beneficial to law enforcement agencies,” Bourgeois tells Metro Times. “It has enabled them to hire individuals to send to the academy as an employed recruit, and in many cases, the local municipalities lacked the resources.” In addition to helping pay for recruits’ academy costs, DPD provides attendees a $46,800 salary with health benefits. The state is also trying to recruit officers from outside of Michigan. With $2.7 million set aside in 2022, the state is offering to pay for the certification of


officers who relocate to Michigan. Other states are offering similar incentives for relocations. In December 2021, the state House passed a bill that would have set aside $57.2 million to encourage out-of-state officers to move to Michigan. The bill was later shelved by the Senate. In September 2022, Republican gubernatorial candidate Tudor Dixon proposed a whopping $700 million measure to recruit and retain police officers, firefighters, and public safety personnel. The proposal died with her failed campaign. However, some experts have warned that such recruitment tools could backfire. “As a business decision, hiring former officers can offer benefits for any police department,” wrote Dorothy Moses Schulz, a former transit police captain in New York who is also a professor emerita at the John Jay College of Criminal Justice, in a 2022 report published by the conservative Manhattan Institute. “But these departments must consider the possibility that they are attracting officers who are running away from problems.” “I’m concerned about these incentives overall,” she said in an interview. “You’re recruiting from the same pool. This one’s offering $5,000, this one’s offering $7,000. “But all these smack to me of desperation. And I think it’s very sad that we’ve come to a point where police have to be desperate to recruit.”

Poaching police officers

Paying for recruits’ tuition had unintended consequences in Detroit. New officers were often leaving for other departments after the city paid for their tuition. DPD officials said departments from as far away as Toledo and Houston were showing up at the Detroit Police Department Academy to lure recent graduates. In 2022 alone, more than 100 officers left DPD for other departments. To discourage this trend, Whitmer in June signed legislation, which has been coined the “poacher bill,” that required recruits to pay back 100% of their academy training costs if they leave DPD within one year of graduation. The amount decreases every year by 25%, allowing Detroit to recover a portion of its academy costs up to four years after recruits graduate. “We have experienced over the last several years a large number of individuals joining the Detroit Police Department for the training with an apparent plan to leave for suburban police departments shortly thereafter,” DPD assistant chief David LeValley said during a legislative hearing before the

law was passed. “I’ve been told that some agencies have actually encouraged individuals to do so,” LeValley added. “And we have even had police chiefs and command staff from suburban police departments attend our academy graduations only to have a recruit resign the next day and go work for that agency.” Detroit offers its own training academy at a cost of about $35,000 per attendee. In June, the cash-strapped city estimated that it had spent nearly $6.4 million to cover the costs of recruiting, training, and hiring police officers who left the department after fewer than four years of service since 2020. “For too long, police recruits knew they could receive the best training available at DPD, and then take that training to a suburban department that paid them more,” Duggan said in a statement at the time. Despite making strides forward, many police departments are still far from fully staffing their ranks. “Departments are offering bonuses and lateral transfers to get people into their department,” Stevenson, of the Michigan Association of Chiefs of Police, says. “But all we’re doing is stealing from each other. To some degree, we’re playing whack a mole. The actual number of police officers isn’t going up.” Times have changed since Stevenson began his career. “When I applied to be a cadet in Livonia back in the 1970s, there were 750 candidates with six positions,” Stevenson says. “Now I routinely hear that a department gets one candidate. And a lot of them don’t have the character or fitness to become a police officer.” Knight, chief of the Harbor Springs Police Department, offered a dose of optimism. “Law enforcement is coming back,” he says. “I don’t know if it will ever get back to what it was 30 years ago. Sooner or later, there will be a positive twist. It’s a problem right now more than it ever has been, but I think we’ll come out of it.” Experts say the solution to the police staffing crisis may require a new vision for public safety. One alternative that reform advocates have called for is using civilians to do jobs previously done by sworn personnel. Jeffrey B. Welty, an expert in criminal law and procedure at the University of North Carolina, said hiring sworn personnel “is arduous, time-consuming and expensive” because of the training costs and the significant testing requirements, he wrote in October 2022. Increasingly, departments across the country are relying more on civilians to perform administrative functions in

police departments. Those positions include public information officer, evidence technician, property management specialist, crime scene investigator, forensic analyst, victim advocate, and data analyst. Other departments are going further. For example, Berkeley, Calif., is hiring civilians to conduct traffic enforcement. Baltimore is hiring “civilian investigative specialists” to work in the police department’s detective units. Their role is working with sworn officers on cold cases, internal affairs issues, and property crimes. In Denver, mental health experts and paramedics are responding to certain 911 calls. In April 2021, the Ann Arbor City Council voted to create an unarmed crisis response program to support alternatives to policing. Inspired by Ann Arbor, University of Michigan officials are exploring the creation of an unarmed crisis response team to respond to calls for help on campus. In a letter to UM President Santa Ono in August, seven advocacy groups urged him to support the creation of the unarmed crisis response team, saying many people distrust interactions with armed police. “Community members who live, work, learn, and play on campus deserve access to an option for calling for support in times of conflict, crisis, and concern for wellbeing without involving armed officers who are trained for law enforcement rather than providing care,” the letter states. “In a country where people of color, mentally ill and mad people, transgender people, and poor people are disproportionately met with prejudice and force, an alternative option is especially important. Many people on campus who are experiencing a crisis must weigh the benefits of calling for help with the risk of discrimination, violence, punishment, or being coerced into ‘treatment.’ These conditions lead many members of our community to avoid asking for help because the risks outweigh the benefits of the response they will currently receive. We find this unacceptable and unjust.” In August, Ono agreed to support the unarmed response teams. The Police Executive Research Forum wrote in 2019 that “police agencies in the future may rely more heavily on civilian staff, contract services, and community partnerships than on fulltime sworn staff. … It is important for the policing profession to be flexible and open-minded about changes that will help police agencies to serve their communities in new ways.”

EMPLOYMENT Design Engineer, Brose North America, Auburn Hills, MI. Engr, design, dvlp, release, & continuously improve, using CATIA V5 & SAP ERP Materials Management module, 3DX Product Lifecyle Management, Brose Database, & Brose Q-Checker tools, proprietary Brose psgr vehicle seating syss incl. manual & power rear (second & third row) seat structures (fixed to 12 way seat adjusters, manual & power back frames, & cushion assemblies), related mechanisms, cmpts, & internal subcmpts w/ highperformance materials, high-strength steels, other metals, & plastics. Optimize vehicle occupant safety-related qualities & overall seat sys eqpt functionality, while satisfying strict OEM vehicle maker & Tier 1 customer reqmts & expectations, & maintaining high volume production feasibility, enhancing aesthetic value & comfort characteristics, & promoting overall scrap reduction & cost efficiency. Design, improve, evaluate mfg feasibility, & collaborate w/ Finite Element Analysis (FEA), reviewing FEA models for potential failures, & Industrial Engrg, & Tooling Teams to deliver high volume series production of Brose vehicle seat structures & related mechanisms. Bachelor, Mechanical Engrg or related. 24 mos exp as Engineer, engrg & designing psgr vehicle seating syss, & optimizing vehicle occupant safetyrelated qualities & overall seat sys eqpt. functionality, or related. E-mail resume to Jobs@brose.com (Ref#39348-205).

EMPLOYMENT Robert Bosch LLC seeks Software Engineer (Mult Pos) (Plymouth, MI). REQS: Bach deg or frgn equiv in Comp Eng, Electrical Eng, Electronic Eng or rel +3 yrs exp as SW Dev, Sys Eng, or other occ/pos/job title involving Sys & SW dev. Telecomm: Remote Work May Be Permitted- 2x/week in office. Apply online at https://www.bosch.us/ careers/, search [Software Engineer / REF214774B]

Invisible Institute journalist Sam Stecklow contributed to this report.

metrotimes.com | December 13-19, 2023 21


12 Carpenter Ave.

53 52 50 1

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Caniff Ave. 4

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McDougall St.

5 10 49 6 8 2 48 47 46 56 Yemens St. 57 45 58 59 44 43 Evaline St. 42 20 55 41 40 39 19 Edwin St. 38 37 36 35 21 Florian St. 3334 26 25 Holbrook Ave. 27 23 24 22 29 Jacob St. 28

Joseph Campau Ave.

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Conant St.

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McDougall St.

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VISIT

HAMTRAMCK THIS HOLIDAY SEASON!

EATS 6 Balkan House 3028 Caniff 7 Hello Shawarma Restaurant 3124 Caniff 8 Delite Cafe & Deli 3135 Caniff 9 Royal Kabob 3236 Caniff 10 Dose of Sugar Cafe 3630 Caniff 17 New Medina 11917 Conant 18 Aladdin Sweets & Cafe 11945 Conant 60 California Burgerz 12045 Conant 23 Cafe 1923 2287 Holbrook 25 Kitab Cafe & Bookstore 2727 Holbrook 27 Boostan Restaurant 3470 Holbrook 31 Yeman Cafe 8740 Jos Campau 36 Srodek’s 9601 Jos Campau 43 Amiccis Pizza 9841 Jos Campau 47 Oloman Cafe + Gallery 10215 Jos Campau 49 Dos Locos Tacos 10337 Jos Campau 50 Fat Salmon Sushi 11411 Jos Campau 51 Remas Restaurant 11444 Jos Campau 53 Maine Street Restaurant 11650 Jos Campau 58 Polonia Restaurant 2934 Yemans 59 Polish Village Cafe 2990 Yemans BARS 2 Ghost Light 2314 Caniff 5 Sanctuary Detroit 2932 Caniff 11 Outer Limits 5507 Caniff 12 Trixie’s Bar 2656 Carpenter 14 Club Coyotes 9711 Conant 15 White Star Night Club 9819 Conant 16 Small’s 10339 Conant 19 Polish Sea League 2601 Edwin 20 Suzy’s Bar 2942 Evaline 21 Black Salt 2764 Florian 24 Kelly’s Bar 2403 Holbrook 26 Bumbo’s 3001 Holbrook

28 30 32 33 42 52 55 56 57

Painted Lady 2930 Jacob HenriettaHaus 8609 Jos Campau New Dodge Lounge 8850 Jos Campau Port Bar 9420 Jos Campau Baker Street 9817 Jos Campau High Dive 11474 Jos Campau PLAV Post & 6 9545 Mcdougall Polka Dot Bar 2363 Yemans Whiskey In The Jar 2741 Yemans

DISPENSARIES 1 Quality Roots 2024 Caniff 22 Pleasantrees 2238 Holbrook 54 Puff Cannabis 11941 Jos Campau VENUES 3 Planet Ant 2320 Caniff 4 The Independent Comedy Club 2320 Caniff 13 Fowling Warehouse 3901 Christopher Street GALLERY 34 Polish Art Center 9539 Jos Campau SHOPPING 29 Campau Clothing 9643 Jos Campau 35 Tekla Vintage 9600 Jos Campau 37 Shooz Club 9629 Jos Campau 38 Aladdin Jewelry 9701 Jos Campau 39 Showtime Clothing 9704 Jos Campau 40 Alameer Furniture 9708 Jos Campau 41 V.I.P. Clothing 9734 Jos Campau 44 G Mart Clothing 10012 Jos Campau 45 Lo & Behold! 10022 Jos Campau 46 Rat Queen Vintage 10031 Jos Campau 48 Detroit Threads 10238 Jos Campau

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WHAT’S GOING ON Select events happening in metro Detroit this week. Be sure to check venue website before events for latest information. Add your event to our online calendar: metrotimes.com/ AddEvent.

MUSIC Wednesday, Dec. 13 Candlelight Ballet: Featuring Tchaikovsky and More 6-8 p.m. & 8:30-10:30 p.m.; Redford Theatre, 17360 Lahser Rd., Detroit; $25. Ginuwine 8 p.m.; Sound Board, 2901 Grand River Ave., Detroit; $46-$58.

Thursday, Dec. 14 Eli Young Band, Taylor Austin Dye, Joseph Gallant 7 p.m.; District 142, 142 Maple St., Wyandotte; $25-$45. Queen: From Mercury with Love 8-9 p.m.; Longway Planetarium, 1310 Kearsley St., Flint; $8.

Westland; $15-$80. The Hourlies, Rob Zinck & The Collaborators, DJ Mike Ross 9 p.m.-12:30 a.m.; Bowlero Lanes & Lounge, 4209 Coolidge Hwy., Royal Oak; no cover. The Armed, Model/Actriz, Kipp Stone 7 p.m.; Saint Andrew’s Hall, 431 E. Congress St., Detroit; $25. Tyvek, Wuppet Pipes, DJ Glenn Morren 9 p.m.; UFO Factory, 2110 Trumbull St., Detroit; $12 advance, $15 door.

DJ/Dance Customer Appreciation Night w/ Dino Munaco, Aledro, Food Fight, ARCS, Perish, Juicy 9 p.m.; Magic Stick, 4120 Woodward Ave., Detroit; no cover. PEEKABOO, G-REX, SULLY, DETRE, SADRN 8 pm; the Crofoot Ballroom, 1 S. Saginaw, Pontiac; $35.

Res live with Steve McKie! 7 p.m. & 9:30 p.m.; Willis Show Bar, 4156 Third St., Detroit; limited Tier 1 tickets starting at $25.

Saturday, Dec. 16

Shadows of the 60s - A Holiday Tribute to Motown 8-10 p.m.; The Capitol Theatre, 140 E. Second St., Flint; $24-$64.

COLORS Worldwide Presents: R&B ONLY LIVE 7:45 pm; The Fillmore, 2115 Woodward Ave., Detroit; $69.99.

The Party101 Legends Tour with DJ Matt Bennett 8 p.m.; The Fillmore, 2115 Woodward Ave., Detroit; $18-$30.

Holiday Pops 7-9 p.m.; The Whiting, 1241 E. Kearsley St., Flint; $10-$40.

The Tenors 8 p.m.; Caesars Palace Windsor - Augustus Ballroom, 377 E. Riverside Dr., Windsor; $33-$78. Via Mardot, Stephie James, Gal Musette 7 p.m.; The Loving Touch, 22634 Woodward Ave., Ferndale; $18. Queen: From Mercury with Love 8-9 p.m.; Longway Planetarium, 1310 Kearsley St., Flint; $8.

Friday, Dec. 15 Queen: From Mercury with Love 8-9 p.m.; Longway Planetarium, 1310 Kearsley St., Flint; $8. Alise King and the At Will Band 7-9:30 p.m.; Willis Show Bar, 4156 Third St., Detroit; $15 advance, $20 at the door. Brett Eldredge: Glow Live Tour 8 p.m.; Fox Theatre, 2211 Woodward Ave., Detroit; $39.50-$89.50. Class of 98 Band, The 90s Party Palooza 8 p.m.; Magic Bag, 22920 Woodward Ave., Ferndale; $15. David Matthews Band Tribute The Next Best of Whats Around, Tribute to R.E.M. by DRIVER 8 7:30 p.m.; The Token Lounge, 28949 Joy Rd.,

Queen: From Mercury with Love 8-9 p.m.; Longway Planetarium, 1310 Kearsley St., Flint; $8.

Holiday Pops 7-9 p.m.; Hill Auditorium, 825 N. University Ave., Ann Arbor; $10-$70. May Erlewine and the Motivations : A Winter Dance Party 7 p.m.; Magic Bag, 22920 Woodward Ave., Ferndale; $25. A Nostalgic Noel with Zania Alakè 7-10:30 p.m.; Detroit School of Arts Ford Theater, 123 Selden, Detroit; $40. The Analog Dogs 7 p.m.; The Loving Touch, 22634 Woodward Ave., Ferndale; $25. The Menzingers, Microwave, Cloud Nothings, Rodeo Boys 6:30 p.m.; Royal Oak Music Theatre, 318 W. Fourth St., Royal Oak; $35-$75. Fred Hammond and Donnie McClurkin - Worship Live 7:30 p.m.; The Music Hall, 350 Madison Ave., Detroit; $59-$99. Yuno Miles debut concert with Yuno Marr, Brbluhtim, Call Me Hoo, Esei, TJ Major, Shank, Cads, Chadster 6 p.m.; Pike Room, 1 S. Saginaw, Pontiac; $20-$60. Urban Art Orchestra Holiday

24 December 13-19, 2023 | metrotimes.com

Party with BLAAQ GOLD, John Houston, Amber Chene, 313 The Live Experience, The Monalyse, and Mia Simone 8 p.m.; Saint Andrew’s Hall, 431 E. Congress St., Detroit; $41.75.

Sunday, Dec. 17 97.9 WJLB Big Show with Lil Wayne, City Girls, Sexyy Red, Jacquees, Tee Grizzley, Skilla Baby, Kash Doll and Sada Baby 6 p.m.; Little Caesars Arena, 2645 Woodward Ave., Detroit; $299-$394. Hot Mulligan, Heart Attack Man, Spanish Love Songs, Free Throw, Ben Quad, Saturdays At Your Place, Wild Red, New Age Thief 3 p.m.; Royal Oak Music Theatre, 318 W. Fourth St., Royal Oak; $35-$50. Mannheim Steamroller Christmas by Chip Davis 6:30 p.m.; Fox Theatre, 2211 Woodward Ave., Detroit; $25-$85. Rahsaan Patterson sponsored by Coleman A Young Foundation 7:30 p.m.; Sound Board, 2901 Grand River Ave., Detroit; $36-$49. Silverstein 10 Years of: “This is How the Wind Shifts” Tour, Stray From the Path • Avoid 6:30 p.m.; Magic Stick, 4120 Woodward Ave., Detroit; $29.50-$69.50. Sky Covington’s Sunday Night Jam Sessions every Sunday with band Club Crescendo 8 p.m.-midnight; Woodbridge Pub, 5169 Trumbull St., Detroit; donation.

Monday, Dec. 18 Adult Skate Night 8:30-11 p.m.; Lexus Velodrome, 601 Mack Ave., Detroit; $5.

Tuesday, Dec 19 B.Y.O.R Bring Your Own Records Night 9 pm-midnight; The Old Miami, 3930 Cass Ave., Detroit; no cover.

THEATER

Performance

Andiamo Celebrity Showroom Karen Newman Holiday Show with Frankie Scinta; Sunday, 7 p.m.; $35-$69. AXIS Lounge Dueling Pianos: An Interactive Entertainment Experience; Thursdays, 8 p.m.-midnight; no cover. Detroit Repertory Theatre Topdog/ Underdog; $30 general admission, $25 in advance; Fridays, Saturdays, 8-10:30 p.m., Saturdays, 3-5:30 p.m. and Sundays, 2-4:30 p.m. Meadow Brook Theatre A Christmas

Carol; $45; Thursday, 7 p.m., Friday, 8 p.m., Saturday, 2 & 6:30 p.m., Sunday, 2 & 6:30 p.m., and Tuesday, 7 p.m. Russell Industrial ComplexExhibition Center Hajime Kinoko: A Shibari performance from the Japanese master of Shibari. Featuring Marie Sauvage. This is an 18+ event; $30; Saturday, 8-11 p.m. The Inspired Acting Company Talley’s Folly; $35 general admission, $30 for 30 and under, and 65 and up Friday; 8-10 p.m., Saturday, 8-10 p.m., and Sunday, 2-4 p.m.

Musical Ain’t Too Proud - The Life and Times of The Temptations (Touring) Tuesday, 7:30 & 8 p.m.; Fisher Theatre, 3011 W. Grand Blvd., Detroit; $39-$129. Detroit Public Theatre’s ‘Holiday Cabaret’ Wednesday, 8 p.m., Friday, 8 p.m., Saturday, 2 & 8 p.m., and Sunday, 2 p.m.; Detroit Public Theatre, 3960 Third Ave., Detroit; $47. Frozen (Touring) Wednesday, 7:30 p.m., Thursday, 7:30 p.m., Friday, 7:30 p.m., Saturday, 2 & 7:30 p.m., and Sunday, 1 & 6:30 p.m.; Detroit Opera House, 1526 Broadway, Detroit; $45-$120. One Sleepy Night-Detroit, an Original Christmas Musical Friday, 7 p.m.; The Music Hall, 350 Madison Ave., Detroit; $30-$50. A Man for Christmas: An NTG Original Parody Friday, 7:30 p.m. and Saturday 7:30 p.m.; Riverside Arts Center, 76 N. Huron St., Ypsilanti; $12 advance, $15 at door, $10 students. My Fair Lady Wednesday, Dec. 13, 7:30-9:30 p.m.; The Whiting, 1241 E. Kearsley St., Flint; $30-$85. The Year Without a Panto Claus Fridays, Saturdays, 7:30-8:45 p.m., Saturdays, 3-4:15 p.m., and Sundays, 2-3:15 p.m.; Theatre NOVA, 410 W. Huron St., Ann Arbor; $30 for adults, $12 for kids 16 years and under.

COMEDY

Improv

Go Comedy! Improv Theater Pandemonia The All-Star Showdown; Fridays and Saturdays, 7:30 p.m. & 9:30p.m.; $25. Planet Ant Theatre Hip-Prov: Improv with a Dash of Hip-Hop; $10; second Wednesday of every month, 7 p.m.

Stand-up Royal Oak Music Theatre Margaret Cho; Friday; 6:30 p.m.; $49.50-$199.50. Caesars Palace Windsor - Augustus Ballroom Gabriel Iglesias; $53-$118; Saturday, 8 p.m. The Independent Comedy Club


at Planet Ant Geoffrey Asmus LIVE at The Independent Comedy; $20 advance, $25 door; Friday, 9-10:30 p.m. and Saturday. 9-10:30 p.m. Mark Ridley’s Comedy Castle Nick Griffin with Carl Johnson and Jake Ford; Dec. 14, 7:30 p.m.-9 p.m., Dec. 15, 7:15 p.m.-8:45 p.m., Dec 15, 9:45 p.m.-11:15 p.m., Dec. 16, 7-8:30 p.m., Dec. 16 9:30 p.m.-11 p.m.; $20.

Continuing This Week Stand-up The Independent Comedy Club at Planet Ant Tonight vs Everybody: Thursday Open Mic. Sign up starts at 10:30 p.m. and the show begins at 11 p.m; $5 suggested donation.

FILM

Screening The Capitol Theatre It’s A Wonderful Life. $2-$7; Friday, 7-9 p.m.

ART

Performance art opening Detroit Contemporary SeaStories: Part 3 (a new performance art piece - by SATORI CIRCUS); $15; Friday, 8:30-11 p.m., 6-8 p.m. and Saturday, 6-8 & 8:30-11 p.m.

Downtown Detroit is transformed into a winter wonderland.

Art exhibition continuing

Labatt on Ice

Berkley Public Library ARTICIPATE studio portrait show; through Dec. 31. Blackbird Gallery at Centric Place A Fine Arts Holiday Market; through Jan. 12. College for Creative Studies William House: A Creative Journey. No cover; Mondays-Sundays, 10 a.m.-6 p.m. College for Creative Studies, A. Alfred Taubman Center for Design Education Suraj Bhamra: A Figure Creeping up the Embankment. No cover; Mondays-Sundays. Flint Institute of Arts American Realism: Visions of America. Through Dec. 30. Library Street Collective Akea Brionne: Trying to Remember. Through Jan. 6, 2024. Museum of Contemporary Art Detroit (MOCAD) Intimacy: The Artistic Community of PASC. An exhibition surveying the past three years of PASC’s growth in fostering artists with developmental disabilities and mental health differences. Through Jan. 14. PARC Art Gallery The Gift of Art Exhibit & Sale. Through Jan. 3. Pewabic Pottery Pewabic Holiday Showcase. Through Dec. 30. The Amber Collective Market The Amber Art Collective Artists Market. Thursdays-Sundays, 11 a.m.-6:30 p.m.

Critics’ picks FUN: Who wants a “cold one?” Beer company Labatt bought out The Rink at Campus Martius Park on Thursday to host “Labatt on Ice,” a free skate night for beer fans to get in the holiday spirit with an “ice-cold Labatt.” The event thanks Detroiters for making Michigan a hot spot for the Canadian beer; according to the company, the Great Lakes State is one of the top markets for Labatt in the U.S. Throughout the evening, Labatt swag will be given away and admission and skate rentals will be free. Of course, all guests must be 21 years of age or older with a valid I.D. Skating will be available on a first-come, firstserve basis for up to 300 attendees. —Layla McMurtrie From 6-9 p.m. on Thursday, Dec. 14; The Rink at Campus Martius, 800 Woodward Ave., Detroit. No cover.

Noir Leather’s 40th Anniversary KINK: Much has changed since Noir Leather first opened its BDSM shop in 1983. For one, Royal Oak was a sleepy, conservative community back then, not the destination for retail and nightlife that it is today. And founder Keith Howarth, a punk rocker and leather worker, has since sold his business to new ownership,

COURTESY OF DOWNTOWN DETROIT PARTNERSHIP

who brought the company into the 21st century by launching a website and expanding with Tease, a nearby sister store that specializes in stripper and raver wear. The point of all this is to say that the little kink store that could is celebrating its 40th anniversary this weekend with a “Kinky Christmas” party, and you’re invited. Festivities include pole dancing, a scandalous scavenger hunt, a costume contest, a spanking booth, shibari “gift wrapping,” body painting, tarot readings, and other treats for both the naughty and nice. —Lee DeVito Starts at 9 p.m. on Saturday, Dec. 16; Noir Leather, 124 W. Fourth St., Royal Oak; noirleather.com. Tickets are $20.

Satori Circus STAGE: Having launched his oneman show in 1988, Detroit performing artist Satori Circus isn’t quite a clown or a mime. Behind a face of white makeup with black markings, his performances include music, pantomime, film elements, spoken word, slapstick, and movement. He’s preparing to showcase a new performance art piece titled “SeaStories: Part 3,” which he created along with Brian Dambacher and Tim Suliman. The show, set to be held at local nonprofit gallery Detroit Contemporary, follows the “mysterious, happy-golucky, and sometimes aloof life of a good-natured man,” according to a

press release. The performance follows Satori Circus being kidnapped, later ending up in the middle of the Bermuda Triangle and left on his own to survive on a mysterious island. — Layla McMurtrie Performances at 6 p.m. and 8:30 p.m. on Friday, Dec. 15 and Saturday, Dec. 16; Detroit Contemporary, 487 W. Alexandrine St., Detroit; detroitcontemporary.com/events. Tickets are $15.

REMIX Brewery Tour BEER: If you love beer, you won’t want to miss out on this four-hour shuttle tour showcasing some of Detroit’s newest and best breweries. Michigan Brew Tours will serve as your guide while you make stops at 8 Degrees Plato, Tenacity Craft, Nain Rouge Brewing, and Brewery Faisan. “The Best of Detroit: REMIX Brewery Tour” features a recognized expert in the field of beer who will teach you about the history of beer, beer ingredients, and the brewing process while you taste some of the best brews in Michigan. At each stop, you’ll sample beer and beer ingredients, get VIP tours of the breweries, and enjoy water and snacks on the shuttle. The tour begins with pizza at 8 Degrees Plato. —Steve Neavling From 3-7 p.m. on Saturday, Dec. 16; 8 Degrees Plato, 3409 Cass Ave., Detroit; mibrewtours.com. Tickets are $89.

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MUSIC OLD MIAMI T-SHIRTS, HOODIES & TOTE BAGS IN STOCK FOR THE HOLIDAYS! ALL YOUR TEAMS PLAYING ON OUR BIG SCREENS ALL YEAR!

Wed 12/13

Happy 387th Birthday to the U.S. National Guard! Fri 12/15

Berserker/Grand Circus/ Midnight Proof

(hardcore/metal/funk fusion/ americana) Doors@9p/$5cover

Sat 12/16

F*CK I’M 25 HOLIDAY & BDAY BASH Karalavara/Career Funeral/ Bella Agonia/The New Relative (garage/alt pop/emo/rock) Doors@9p/$5cover

Happy Birthday, Liz Blondy! Mon 12/18

Frontier Ruckus is back.

Local Buzz By Broccoli and Joe Zimmer

FREE POOL ALL DAY Tues 12/19

B. Y. O. R. Bring Your Own Records (weekly)

Open Decks@8PM NO COVER IG: @byor_tuesdays_old_miami

DON JULIO TEQUILA PROMO! Coming Up:

12/22 Cocktail Shake/ Brandon Z. Smith 12/23 SANTARCHY: Detroit Party Marching Band/ Summer Like The Season/Lung OPEN XMAS EVE 12P-12A & XMAS DAY 12P-2A 12/29 Joel Douglas Gray/ Brion Riborn/Boy Blue 12/30 Vendors/ The Wrenfields/Hung Up 12/31 NYE BASH w/ BANGERZ & JAMZ ‘til 4am OPEN NEW YEAR’S DAY 12P-2AM 01/06 Detroit Blues w/ Howard Glazier (Dan & Julie attending) Book Your Holiday Parties at The Old Miami email us: theoldmiamibarevents @gmail.com

Got a Detroit music tip? Send it to music@metrotimes.com. Frontier Ruckus has new album on the way: The banjo-wielding Michigan folk band Frontier Ruckus has returned with new music, and a new album coming on Feb. 16, 2024. As the primary vehicle for singer Matthew Milia’s kodachrome songwriting, On The Northline will be the band’s first LP of new material in seven years (though, Milia released a solo album in 2021). The group has also shared a lyric video for the title track of the album, featuring a collage of vintage family photos as the backdrop. The song is “inspired partly by the North Country of upstate New York… where my dad’s side of the family somehow landed from Sicily in the early 1900s. Once an industrial boomtown, now marked by Amish buggies tied up outside of Price Choppers, dilapidated bowling alleys and weedy putt-putt golf courses where the tourists have long-since stopped summering,” says Milia. “I hope the intimacy of the songs reminds long-time listeners what they loved about our band and invites new listeners in just the same… Six albums in, for the ones still with us, On the Northline is as much for them as it is for us.” Fans can expect a few more tracks to be released ahead

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COURTESY PHOTO

of the album in the coming weeks, and you can peep the tracklist on Instagram @frontierruckus. —Joe Queer Detroit returns with a new series: After their presence downtown was sadly cut short earlier this year, Queer Detroit took some time to reflect on how to move forward. We are glad to say that they are back with a vengeance this week, kicking off a brand new dance series called PRINSESSA, which will take place on Thursday, Dec. 14 at the Norwood Theatre in New Center (6531 Woodward Ave., Detroit). Expect all of the fun, flamboyant, and fierce energy that we experienced at their grand opening back in May, with an absolutely stellar lineup of selectors: Blackmoonchild, Fusegrade, DJ Hemlok, Remove Him, and Luca Miel. The team had this to say in the event description: “So much love has been put into this brand new remodel and it looks absolutely fantastic. Drag, drinks, photography, music and dancing!!! Parking in back lot. Special thanks to everyone who has helped out and I can’t wait to see you there!!!!” Tickets available on Resident Advisor. —Broccoli Sinistarr is taking over the Orchid Room: If you’re not familiar with Sinistarr, his absolutely electric set from Boiler Room Detroit earlier this year is a good place to start. Exploring the realms of drum and bass, footwork, jungle, techno, and beyond, he is known to annihilate dance floors

with high-energy performances that leave the crowd sweating, screaming, and begging for more. With releases on legendary labels like Metalheadz Platinum, Renegade Hardware, and Creative Source, Sinistarr’s production has long captured the attention of tastemakers in the industry. As indicated by more recent releases on Hooversound, Vision, Tectonic, and the 70th release on dBridge’s iconic imprint Exit Records, it’s evident that he is here to stay. Catch Sinistarr spinning live at the Orchid (141 W. Nine Mile Rd., Ferndale) on Friday, Dec. 15, tickets are available on Resident Advisor. —Broccoli Let the Armed be your “Perfect Savior” this weekend: The evermysterious and endlessly entertaining Detroit band the Armed is bringing its performance art-infused presence to Saint Andrew’s Hall (431 E. Congress St., Detroit) this Friday, Dec. 15 for their biggest-ever headlining show in the city. We can only imagine what is in store for this homecoming affair, given that they’ve already toured with Queens of the Stone Age and hosted a wild mansion-style house party/video shoot earlier this year. Joining them on the show will be New York noise-punk band Model/Actriz, who sold out Lager House earlier this year and have since toured the world, wowing fans across the board with their hauntingly beautiful ruminations on queerness and boiling hedonism. Tickets are available via Live Nation, so get ’em while they’re hot! —Joe


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MUSIC

Tyvek, from left: Fred Thomas, Shelley Salant, Kevin Boyer, Emily Roll, and Alex Glendening.

COURTESY PHOTO

Deconstruction crew Tyvek is the band we all need right now By Broccoli

Tyvek is the stuff of Detroit DIY legend. I remember hearing about them when I wasn’t cool enough to know who they were, but they somehow felt familiar, and not just because their name had been seared into my head after seeing it plastered across unfinished houses in southeast Michigan for most of my life. Their sound is a continuation of Detroit’s well-established punk legacy, but more importantly, it’s an unpretentious and determined expansion of it. The band’s first album in seven years, Overground, is a prime example of that sentiment. In their own words, “It’s more than punk, it’s less than punk… a story that continues to evolve without end.” Released last month, the record finds the band exploring new territory while also returning to the roots in some ways, doing what feels good and right in a time of overwhelming uncertainty. The theme of returning and self-reference is a deliberate part of Tyvek’s conversation with its own work. In describing the record, the band writes: “Viewing Tyvek as an unfolding artistic project, the new songs bring back melodies and messages from the past. The track ‘M-39’ (yes, a deliberate misnomer for those

familiar with Detroit’s byzantine freeway system) referencing an older Tyvek song ‘Future Junk’ as an evolving meditation on the bizarre world we’ve created; driving down a submerged highway and envisioning subterranean cliff dwellings chiseled into the side of the freeway.” The seven years since Tyvek’s last full-length release kind of feels like an eternity. Add in the weirdness of the pandemic, and seven years feels more like a decade away. But Tyvek has always been playing the long game, or the short game, or maybe no game at all. Since they started over 15 years ago they have just continued to do what they do, through band changes and world changes and everything else, all on their own time. Not in a hurry, but always moving one way or another. It’s admirable to see a band with that kind of resolve, and I guess those are the ones that stick around, right? The ones that don’t arrive on a shooting star and blow up in the atmosphere, but instead pull up a chair and stay a while, absorbing the surroundings and taking a deep breath every so often. Despite their diehard DIY ethos, with hand-drawn flyers and unassuming press photos, Tyvek has achieved

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some solid recognition over the years. Pitchfork has reviewed their records a total of five times, and none have received lower than a 7.6, for whatever that is worth. Fellow hometown hero Joe Casey of Detroit post-punk outfit Protomartyr has this to say about Tyvek’s approach: “You write about where you’re from because it’s what you know but you need to avoid being super blatant about it because you want it to have a universality to it.” That seems to make sense to me, and might explain the appeal of a band that cares so little about being “cool” that they tear a hole in the coolness continuum (they will probably cringe when they read this) and end up becoming beacons of refreshing light in the drudgery of “the music scene.” It doesn’t hurt when the lineup is stacked, either: the current lineup features founder and sole Tyvek constant Kevin Boyer supplying guitar, vocals, and lyrics; Shelley Salant (Shells, XV) with circuitous leads and scratchy chords on second guitar; Fred Thomas (Idle Ray, Winged Wheel) on drums; Alex Glendenning (Deadbeat Beat) on bass; and Emily Roll (XV) on saxophone. To celebrate the new record, the

band is throwing a show on Friday at UFO Factory. When asked about the show, Shelley Salant offers: “We are really excited to play with the band Wuppet Pipes. We are big fans of their record on Siltbreeze Records (who also released our first album). We are also excited to have our longtime friend and deep record head Glen Morren DJ the show. UFO Factory is one of our favorite venues and they have always been super supportive of us, so it made sense to have the release show there.” When asked about any pre or post show food rituals that may or may not exist, the answer was as follows: “Personally, I will definitely be eating a vegan Laika dog before the show.” So there you have it folks, a chance to see a band that can make you feel like some things are right in the world, even as their songs comment in exasperation about how messed up everything is. I prefer to live in a world where Tyvek continues to rock on in spite of it all, and if you get a chance to check them out, I think you will too. Doors at 9 p.m. on Friday, Dec. 15; UFO Factory, 2110 Trumbull St., Detroit; facebook.com/ufofactorydetroit. Tickets are $12 advance, $15 at the door.


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FOOD

The Red Sea serves up seafood with subtle Middle Eastern influences.

JOE MAROON

A great catch By Jane Slaughter

Tables covered in brown paper and a shiny metal bucket on each — at the Red Sea restaurant in Dearborn, you know immediately that you’re meant to settle in for a messy round of seafood cracking. The bibs are also iconic; the only thing missing is finger bowls, because you will be using your hands. Though the real Red Sea lies between Egypt and Yemen, and Arab pop plays on the sound system, the restaurant’s menu doesn’t read as particularly Middle Eastern — until you know about the spices, and that it’s halal. The offerings are almost 100% seafood — shrimp, lobster, mussels, crab, fish sticks — with a little chicken, plus the sides you’d get with seafood in New England or anywhere: rice, potatoes, corn on the cob. I heard another table ordering red snapper and learned that snapper and salmon were added after the menus were printed. (By the way, the internet is rife with info about why it’s pronounced “sammon” and not “salmon,” even videos.) My favorite dish at the Red Sea was shrimp soup. Again, turning to the

world wide web, you can find recipes for shrimp soup from Thailand, Mexico, Brazil, Ecuador, “the Mediterranean,” and “17 Best Shrimp Soup Recipes,” so there is a lot of leeway here, with star ingredients ranging from coconut milk to red curry paste to tomatoes. The Red Sea’s version is tomato-based and is made with Yemeni spices (owner Aiman Yahya Lutfallah is from Yemen); it’s buttery and though it contained only three shrimp, it didn’t matter, the soup was so multifaceted and luscious. I couldn’t extract data on the spices from the waitstaff or the manager, but research suggests cumin, coriander, black pepper, turmeric, cardamom, and cinnamon or cloves. My second favorite would be the whole red snapper, whose crust was fried to golden light perfection. It’s so easy to separate the delicate bones from the flesh, and so satisfying to toss your leavings in the bucket as you go. Some may object to the slow dissection involved in self-deboning a snapper, and it takes even longer to crack and pull out the prized crab and lobster flesh. (There’s a pretty long wait

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for the food to arrive at your table, too.) Those of us who consider it worth the effort should go with the Red Sea Platter, which includes snow crab, shrimp, mussels, corn, redskins, and rice. It’s the boil-in-bag variety; you choose among sauces that are slathered on before boiling: the Red Sea with Yemeni spices, lemon pepper, Cajun, or butter garlic. Our server said most guests go for “Mix ’Em,” which means all four. The corn on the cob that comes in the bag is soggy and tasteless, but the other elements emerge as they should, and there are plenty of paper napkins. I counted at least 20 shrimp in my $65 Small Platter (a pound of them), five fat mussels (half a pound), and half a dozen crab legs (half a pound). The $88 Large Platter is a pound of each. If you’re set on a whole lobster, call first. We were told the restaurant’s vendor had not been coming through lately (this was in November). We did get a boil-in-bag lobster tail, though, this time with lots of garlic butter, and it was as sweet and succulent as lobster is supposed to be. You can also order grilled or fried

The Red Sea 13736 Michigan Ave., Dearborn 313-406-6888 the-red-restaurant.business.site Sandwiches $10-$21, main dishes $14-$28 or market price, platters $65-$88

shrimp, fish sticks with tartar sauce and fries, and sandwiches of lobster, shrimp, or chicken, the latter all with avocado sauce. To drink you’ll find Pepsi products, and dessert may or may not be on hand. Although the Red Sea mostly stays away, thankfully, from tired nautical themes, opting instead for big whimsical wall drawings of sea creatures, I was intrigued by the restroom signage. Ladies get a curvaceous mermaid and the gents a fellow who seems to be a cross between Captain Hook and Captain Ahab. Either Moby Dick or the crocodile got lucky!


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FOOD

Churches would do well to welcome the imperfect to come as we are, a little more openly and often.

SHUTTERSTOCK

Chowhound

Midnight mass hysteria By Robert Stempkowski Chowhound is a weekly column about what’s trending in Detroit food culture. Tips: eat@metrotimes.com.

It’s funny how we treat going to church. Funnier still how we can act whenever we’re there. Folks who don’t believe in the practice avoid it for whatever reasons; some of which must have at least something to do with a rote dullness sometimes seen in it, especially from the outside looking in. It’s no surprise to this average sinner on the street that masses of humanity avoid breathing in stuffy, stagnant religiosity on a regular basis. Besides, there are practical concerns and prohibitive considerations. One could catch a Godawful virus strain from a pew, or suffer a sudden bout of conscience therein. Rubbing elbows with religious crowds comes with such risks, right? Heaven forbid. Certain relatives I recall — the men, mostly — were fairly devout in their church avoidance behaviors during my boyhood. Throughout the calendar year, they were allowed their Sunday service truancy. Come Christmas Eve, though, thanks to a virtual cattle-prodding by their vehemently more virtuous spouses, they’d show a laughably woozy willingness to let go and let God have an hour or so of their time and wander-

ing attentions by going to midnight mass where, in an air of joyful homage helped by the holidays’ extended happy hours, the boys from our hood celebrated the birth of Jesus like those shepherds keeping their sheep might have that Holy night, had they been pounding shots and beers all evening. Typically, it took some doing to get them there, so the wives started in on their husbands early. “You’re going,” I’d hear my aunts start asserting right after dinner. “I’m not,” my uncles each initially countered with accord. “Let me relax. It’s Christmas for Christ’s sake.” “Exactly. Have your fill of holiday cheer, but you’re going.” “We’ll see.” “You’ll go.” “Not saying yes. Not saying no. I’ll think about it.” “Think all you want, boys. Janek, come here and have another shot with Harry and Razz. They’re ready.” “I know what you’re doing, Mary.” “So do I, Harry dear. You’ve got plenty to be thankful for. You’re going. You’s can all go sit together. Get the group blessing. Maybe there’s safety in numbers from the lightning bolt.” And all the ladies in the house would laugh. “Damn right,” Aunt Stella would weigh-in sort of righteously for the

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benefit of Uncle Raymond. “Surrender, Harry,” he’d say, doing as much in that moment. “We’re goin’. Janek, get your drunken ass over here. Let’s have another shot of holy water!” By 11:30 or so, everyone — liquoredup as they were, guys and gals alike — got in their cars and by God’s grace, made it the few blocks to St. Barbara’s safely. Conversation heading over was festive on the ladies’ end. They’d won again. Their men were coming to Jesus, such as they were, for another round of blessing that might have had to last them until Easter. My uncles, meanwhile, kept quiet as my aunts went on. But not long. “Hey, Harry!” a voice boomed inside the church vestibule when we walked in. “Hey, Joe, whaddya know?” my uncle bounded right back off the marble walls. “Harry!” Aunt Mary tried to hush him. “Yours dragged you here, too?” Neighbor Joe laughed, before taking a rib shot from his own better half. “You know how it goes,” The boys went back and forth. “Let’s go ice fishin’ soon, Harry,” Joe cast with a wink before being ushered by the arm into the sanctuary. “Ah, your winter watering hole,” Aunt Mary knew the drill.

“Yeah, Razz calls his ‘union meetings,’” Aunt Stella snickered back toward Uncle Raymond. As we searched for seats, loud meetand-greets continued. Those gregarious guys stood tall in my eyes. The church seemed filled with fellow fisherman and labor rights fighters, all friends of theirs. I felt like my faith’s most privileged little gangster listening in on every impious exchange, where any words I myself ever uttered above the wispiest whisper were silenced with somber enforcement by my elders. This particular night of the year appeared an exception to rigid church rules; affording infrequent attendees some special dispensation allowing their irreverent, happy buzz as they just shot the shit in front of God and everyone. And it did this old parochial school kid’s heart some good to see and hear it; teaching me a slightly crooked, human truth about the path to righteousness in a church packed to the rafters with people who-by and large were in no condition to walk a straight line, let alone give sober thought to the saving of their souls. If there’s hell to pay with my pastor for saying this, so be it: I’m not convinced only religions line the road to soulful redemption. Personally, twists, turns, and grace in a world I’ve wandered have all helped lead me to faith. Now, while no one will ever convince me that anyone’s wasting time and effort in places of worship where God can be given some due thanks and praise, maybe spaces like the one that hosted those high-spirited midnight masses in my memory would do well to welcome the imperfect to come as we are, a little more openly and often. “You know, Mary, it felt good going,” My Uncle Harry would admit, driving back to their house after 1 a.m. on Christmas morning. “See, Razz. Was that so damn hard?” Aunt Stella would second the good Catholic vibrations. “Hallelujah!” Uncle Ray would say, then segue. “Who’s up for a few more rounds of Pinochle?” “No more rounds, boys,” the wives, unwavering, were about to win again. “Stella, we’re stayin’ up, playin’ cards, and celebratin’. It’s Christmas.” Uncle Ray would try to have the last word. “Bullshit. You’s guys are going to bed,” The sisters always had the actual final say in tandem. “Listen Stella…” “Just surrender, Razz,” Uncle Harry took his turn, doing so in that same moment. “Harry, careful,” my mother tapped him while backseat driving. “Try to stay on the right side of the road.” Good advice.


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CULTURE

From Playground Detroit’s COMM[UNITY] II on view until Jan. 14.

PLAYGROUND DETROIT

Artist of the week

Amazon doesn’t need your money but local artists do By Randiah Camille Green

I was so close to getting my mother to agree not to exchange gifts for Christmas this year. I’m trying to simplify my life and don’t like accumulating random stuff. In the past, I’ve asked for things that I need, but I always seem to get a gift that will get banished to the depths of my closet in a few months. I could have explained how the pagan origins of this holiday have all been lost in a consumerist frenzy, but she wasn’t going to understand that. So I suggested instead of giving gifts, we save our money for a future vacation or tattoos instead. She was into the idea until her fiance started whining about not opening presents on Christmas. Oh well, I tried. So here I am, having to figure out how to avoid buying from corporations that I don’t ethically support. Amazon doesn’t need your money (the company is under fire for its military contracts with Israel amid concerns of ethnic cleansing in Gaza) but local artists do. The CEO of Target is still going to be able to pay their bills if you don’t spend money there, but working artists, many of whom don’t have “day jobs,” rely on their collectors and supporters to survive.

Going to art exhibits and museums to appreciate the work is great, but putting money in the artist’s pocket is even better and if your friends don’t appreciate art, you need better friends. If you want to spend your money more ethically, here are a few holiday art shows around Detroit where you can buy something meaningful and circulate your dollars locally.

work of over 100 local artists available in their holiday market. In addition to visual art, Art for the Holidays includes handmade jewelry, ceramics, and other artisan goods for everyone on your list. Until Dec. 23; Detroit Artists Market, 4719 Woodward Ave., Detroit; detroitartistsmarket.org.

Irwin House, Talented and Gifted

Birmingham Bloomfield Art Center, Holiday Shop

Irwin House Gallery’s fourth annual “Gift of Art” exhibition presents art pieces for every budget with everything priced below $500. This show features over 100 original works by more than 40 local artists, both emerging and established. The work includes photography, paintings, sculpture, mixed media work, and more. Until Dec. 17; Irwin House Gallery; 2351 W. Grand Blvd., Detroit; irwinhousegallery.org.

Over 200 artists are represented in this holiday show. You can buy handmade soaps, candles, prints, paintings, ornaments, wood carvings, and more. Until Dec. 20; Birmingham Bloomfield Art Center; 1516 S. Cranbrook Rd., Birmingham; bbartcenter.org.

Detroit Artists Market, Art for the Holidays The Detroit Artist Market has the

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Playground Detroit, COMM[UNITY] II This isn’t a holiday show, but the art is for sale. The group show includes primarily painting and photography and celebrates Playground Detroit’s six-year anniversary. Prices range from around $150 to about $6,500 so be ready to spend.

Until Jan. 14; Playground Detroit, 2845 Gratiot Ave., Detroit; playgrounddetroit. com.

Blackbird Gallery, A Fine Arts Holiday Market Blackbird’s Holiday art market is hosted on Sunday, Dec. 10 and Friday, Dec. 15. It includes work by Lori Ellsworth, Geno Harris, Amadeus Roy, Oneita Jackson, Ifoma Stubbs, Maria Barrow, and more, plus special works by Shirley Woodson. There will be ornaments by local artists for sale as well. From 5-9 p.m., Friday, Dec. 15; Blackbird Gallery, 36216 Freedom Rd., Farmington Hills, blackbird-gallery.com.

The Gallery at Brewery Park, Merry and Bright Holiday Market This smaller show features the work of 20 artists and offers mainly paintings and prints for sale. The gallery is located in the Brewery Park Corporate Campus’s Crain Communications Building. Until Jan. 1; The Gallery at Brewery Park, 1155 Gratiot Ave., Detroit; facebook.com/ thegalleryatbrewerypark.


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CULTURE

A touching new doc captures acclaimed composer Jon Batiste grappling with his wife’s cancer.

NETFLIX

Film

Facing illness together By Chuck Wilson

American Symphony Rated: PG-13 Run-time: 103 minutes

Awards season is upon us, which means famous people winning Oscars and Grammys while we mere mortals watch from home and imagine that those shimmering humans have it all. Standing on that stage, gold statue in hand, must surely be a perfect moment. Yet in the poignant documentary American Symphony, filmmaker Matthew Heineman is there as musician Jon Batiste wins five Grammys in 2022, including Album of the Year, only to find himself alone and bereft in a backstage green room after his moment of triumph. Batiste’s longtime partner and new bride, Suleika Jaouad, whom he first met when they were both teens in jazz camp, is not by his side. Instead, Jaouad watched the Grammys from Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center in New York City. The leukemia that had first struck her at age 22 — the focus of her Emmy-winning New York Times “Life, Interrupted” column and video series — was back after 10 years of remission. She received her

first round of chemo the day Batiste’s 11 Grammy nominations were announced. On the big night, Jaouad was in the hospital, preparing to fight for her life. Again. Jon Batiste’s perfect moment had been anything but. Widely known as the original band leader for The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, the New Orleans-raised, Juilliard-trained Batiste is first and foremost a composer, and Heineman’s film is most potent when we see Batiste in the act of creation. Originally, this was meant to be a road movie tracking Batiste’s cross-country trip in search of musicians and sounds to incorporate into his first symphony. Jaouad’s resurgent illness changed the structure and tenor of the film, but Batiste did find his musicians, most of them young, and all of them clearly thrilled to be called to this moment. “There’s a space,” Batiste declares, “for us all to be different and quirky and strange and beautiful together.” The ensemble’s Carnegie Hall performance will provide the film’s rousing musical climax. Rehearsals begin even as Jaouad is being admitted to the hospital to receive the second bone marrow transplant of her life, a rare “last resort option.” And so it is that, while Batiste is trying on tuxedos for the concert, Jaouad calls to say that her port is bleed-

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ing. Should he come home, or stay on schedule? He chooses to stay on course and at home, Jaouad carries on too, trying on the beautiful sequined dress (and fabulous hat) she hopes to be well enough to wear to Carnegie Hall. In a beautiful sequence at the rehearsal hall, Batiste begins to write a plaintive melody on the piano. It puzzles him. (Art begins in puzzlement.) He can’t fully fathom its parameters, which may be a metaphor for what he and his wife are going through. “Man, what is that,” he asks aloud. Later, during the concert, a technical glitch will force Batiste to improvise in front of 2,800 people. He faces the moment with preternatural calm, clearly a man who long ago learned to roll with the unexpected. It’s a skill he learned alongside his wife. Batiste is pigeonholed by the media as perpetually upbeat — a historical expectation and trap for Black artists, the composer notes. In private, he suffers panic attacks and anxiety. Alone at home for weeks on end, Batiste’s mind races. He can’t sleep. “Some days you just want to stop the train.” But his young orchestra is waiting, and at Sloan Kettering, Jaouad has begun to paint, which is her way of moving forward, even from her bed. She says, “We both see survival as its own kind of creative act.”

American Symphony is a striking departure for Heineman, who made his name with documentaries about the Mexican drug trade (the Oscarnominated Cartel Land), the war in Afghanistan (Retrograde) and COVID-19 (The First Wave). To capture Batiste at a particular moment in time, the filmmaker avoids the usual trappings of a performer’s profile. Batiste won an Oscar for co-composing the score to Soul but there’s no mention of that accolade here. Stephen Colbert doesn’t pop up to sing his friend’s praises. Batiste’s hits are only referenced at a glance. Instead, the director gives precedence to the music of a given day, an approach that may frustrate diehard fans and confuse those who come to the film with only a cursory knowledge of Batiste’s work. A love story more than anything, American Symphony may prove most meaningful to those with ongoing illness in their lives. It’s wrenching to see a chemo-weakened Jaouad curled in pain and deeply moving to see her husband pressed up against her, as if to absorb her torment. Gold statues don’t matter to cancer, a fact Jaouad and Batiste face each day with remarkable grace. Love and laughter see them through, and those, this moving film suggests, are tools readily available to us all.


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CULTURE Savage Love Departures By Dan Savage

Q: I am a 34-year-old gay man who

immigrated to Canada from a Latin American country a few years ago. I immigrated with my husband of eight years. Throughout our relationship we had been monogamous, and we never questioned it. (Perhaps due to our Catholic religious backgrounds?) However, the sex was never great. Not even at the beginning. But he was kind, good looking, and caring. So, I fell for him. I was always clear at the beginning that I was versatile, and he said he was, too. But after a few weeks I assumed the bottom role, and I never felt like I could make any demands on him. In fact, I’ve never even asked a blowjob. (And I did not get one for seven years, even as I gave him plenty!) Also, we had sex once every two weeks or so, and only when he wanted to. Always in the dark, and always in the same position. I know I am at fault for not asking for what I needed. About a year ago, I got on Grindr without my husband knowing. I met a man and his husband. Their relationship was open, and they invited me over. After that one threesome, we decided to just be friends and we even hung out as couples with my husband, everyone pretending that nothing had happened. But I started to develop feelings for the person I originally connected with on Grindr. We continued to have mind-blowing sex, just the two of us now. Four months later, both our partners discovered our affair. The other couple decided to divorce, but my husband and I decided to work through it. But the affair continued and my feelings for this other person only continued to grow. My husband is not willing to be more sexual, he is not willing to allow me to top him, he will not go down on me, and he refuses to let me have sex elsewhere. I have been patient and mindful of his needs and struggles, but he gets annoyed each time I talk about this or ask him to read a book about open relationships. He accuses me of only caring for myself and the things that I want. He has agreed to talk to a therapist about the possibility of being open, but I don’t know how much longer I should wait. On the other hand, the person with whom I am still having an affair wants me to live with him. Sometimes I want that, sometimes I don’t. He has a young child, and I had never thought about being any sort of

parent. Should I stay in my marriage and be patient with my husband since sex is the only thing that does not work between us? Or should I simply go be with this new person? —Staying Over Straying

A: Don’t drag this out.

You’ve already opened your marriage, SOS, and you have no intention of closing it again. You’re still fucking the other man. While you don’t explicitly state that your husband is unaware the affair continues, the fact that you still describe it as an affair suggests your husband doesn’t know. You need to tell him. I get it: you don’t want to be the bad guy. You got caught having an affair and giving your marriage a chance — or pretending to — is what a good (but not perfect) person does after they get caught having an affair, SOS, if that’s what their spouse wants. I mean, you owe your husband that much, right? So, now you’re going through the motions — having those difficult conversations, pushing the right books at him, searching for a nontrad couple’s counselor — but unless you sincerely want to remain in this marriage, SOS, you’re wasting your husband’s time. And based on your actions over the last year, I really don’t think you wanna stay in this marriage. To recap: You cheated on your husband with a married couple and then encouraged your husband to socialize with that couple and then started fucking one of those guys behind his husband’s back and yours. That kind of double-barreled betrayal isn’t something a marriage typically survives —your affair partner’s open marriage didn’t survive a lesser betrayal — and the fact that you’re still slamming your dick down on the selfdestruct button, i.e., fucking this other guy, is evidence that what you want is out. Because you already got caught once, SOS, and you’re going to get caught again, and then your husband is almost certain to leave you. But if you can sincerely say you could happily remain married if you were free to fuck and date other men — so, not just open, but poly — you need tell your husband that. But you’re issuing an ultimatum, SOS, you’re not entering into negotiations. And if that’s unacceptable to your husband, well, then you’ll need to get a lawyer and your own place. If you’re still crazy about the guy you’re fucking a year from now and you’ve come to enjoy spending time with his kid, you could think about moving in with him then. If you’re still crazy about him a year from now and you don’t enjoy spending time with his kid, think about moving a little closer, e.g., moving into the same building

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or onto the same block. Sexual compatibility is crucially important in sexually exclusive relationships. The sex doesn’t work between you and your husband, it never has, and it’s unlikely it ever will. You could live with that for a while — you did live with it for a while — but you’re not willing to settle anymore. You’ve been doing the wrong thing for a while now, SOS, but it’s not too late to do the right thing: honestly ask for the divorce you clearly want, SOS, instead of manipulating your husband into giving it to you.

Q: Please help. I saw an old boyfriend to-

day and based on our text communications about how much he wanted to be with me, I was expecting him to take me in his arms and kiss me. When he made no moves, when he didn’t so much as react to my flirty comments, I was devastated. I didn’t realize how devastated I was alone in my car. While I’m not usually big on the waterworks, I started weeping. I don’t think I was devastated about being rejected. I’m a big girl, I can handle that. But does weeping — more like wailing — indicate something that my heart knows/understands that my head hasn’t caught up to yet? Does this mean that I’m in love with him? —The Town Cryer

A: It does not.

You reconnected with an old flame, you swapped some flirty texts, mutual interest was established. And at some point between reestablishing mutual interest and scheduling that first face-to-face meeting in however many years, you allowed yourself to do what anyone in your position would (and what your ex probably did): you began to fantasize about what could be (or could be again), TTC, and you got your hopes up. What you were wanted — what you were in love with — was what he represented: possibility. When an old flame comes back into our lives, it can feel like a miraculous shortcut; if you can pick up where you left off, the truly hard part — finding someone you like — is already done. In this instance, TTC, the shortcut didn’t work; you’ve changed, he’s changed. I’m not gonna sugarcoat it: you were rejected and that always hurts. But it was the want of it that made you cry, not the him of it. You hoped it might find what you want with him — love and connection — but that wasn’t in the cards. So, go ahead and have a good cry, TTC, and then go find it with someone else. P.S. I once met up with an old flame — my first true love — hoping we might get back together. I went to Marshall Field’s that day fully expecting we would wind up in the changing room, tearing each other’s clothes off like we used to. But whatever we had was gone. We had a nice lunch, but lunch was all it was. The feeling — or the lack of feeling — was mutual, I think, and neither of us wound up weep-

ing on the subway on the way home. But the realization that what seemed possible an hour earlier was impossible left me feeling incredibly sad. So, I feel you, TTC, and my heart goes out to you.

Q: I’m in love with someone I shouldn’t

be. He’s married. He claims to love me. We haven’t done anything besides talk. While I’m not among the most traditional sorts of people, I have a hard time getting past the fact that he is married. I can rationalize it. We knew each other and we loved each other before he met her. He only married her because he thought I was unavailable. Their union is an unhappy one. But the fact remains that he hasn’t asked her to open the marriage. I don’t get anywhere when I suggest he do that. He claims he wants to divorce, or separate, but he doesn’t make any movement in that direction. They don’t have sex anymore, he says. They don’t sleep in the same bed anymore, he says. They don’t celebrate holidays together anymore, he says. If all that is true, I don’t understand why they stay together. I don’t know if I should wait, which could be a long time, or give up. If it were just about sex, the answer would be easy. But he’s become an important part of my life, despite it just being only talk — and not sex talk, we talk about everything going on in our lives. What would you do? —This Emotional Affair

A: I’d fuck the guy.

But if I shared your qualms — if the guy was married and unwilling to ask for an open relationship and I didn’t know if anything he was telling me was true — here’s what I would do: I would tell this guy to give me a call when he’s single. And as much as I might pine, I wouldn’t wait. I’d get out there and date/fuck other people — single and looking, partnered and ENM — in the hopes of putting as much emotional, social, and sexual distance between me and this marriedand-unavailable guy as I possibly could. That’s not giving up, TEA, that’s moving on. If I heard from him after his divorce and I was still single, we could resume talking and possibly start fucking. If I was with someone else when I heard from him after his divorce and I was happy with that other person, I would tell him he missed his window — again — and, given the intensity of our connection, I would tell him being friends was out of the question. And finally, TEA, if I was with someone else when he reached out after his divorce and I was unhappy, I would do what I wanted him to do back when he was married and unhappy: open or end the relationship I was in so I could be with him too or with him instead. Got problems? Everyone does! Send your question to mailbox@savage.love! Podcasts, columns, and more at Savage.Love.


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CULTURE Free Will Astrology By Rob Brezsny ARIES: March 21 – April 19 In 1849, Harriet Tubman escaped from enslavement on a plantation in Maryland. She could have enjoyed her new freedom in peace, but instead resolved to liberate others. During 13 bold forays into enemy territory, she rescued 70 enslaved people and ushered them to safety. She testified that she relied on her dreams and visions to help her carry out her heroic acts. They revealed to her the best escape routes to take, the best times to proceed, and information about how to avoid the fiendish “slave catchers.” In alignment with astrological omens, I invite you to be like Tubman and seek practical guidance from your dreams in the coming weeks — to solve problems or seek bliss.

screen has also been less than steady and predictable. For example, he has fathered six children with five different women. His fellow actor, Carrie Fisher, said Jack was “fun because he doesn’t make sense.” A person with casual knowledge of astrology might be surprised that Nicholson is a Taurus. Your tribe isn’t typically renowned for high eccentricity. But in his natal chart, Nicholson has the brash planet Uranus near his sun in Taurus, indicating he’s quirky. Aside from that, I have known plenty of Tauruses whose commitment to being uniquely themselves makes them idiosyncratic. These themes will be in play for you during the coming weeks. (P.S.: Taurus musician David Byrne starred in the concert film, Stop Making Sense.)

TAURUS: April 20 – May 20 Jack Nicholson has often played mavericks and anti-heroes in his movies. His life away from the silver

GEMINI: May 21 – June 20 The platitude says that if life gives us lemons, we should make lemonade. I’ve got a variation on this theme. Consider the Neva River in northwestern Russia. It freezes every winter. During the frigid months of 1739-1740, Empress Anna Ioannovna ordered her workers to cut huge blocks of ice and use them to construct a magnificent palace on the riverbank. She filled the place with furniture and art, making it a hub of festivities celebrating Russia’s triumph over the Ottoman Empire. I bring these themes to your attention, Gemini, because I suspect that in the coming weeks, you will have substantial redemptive power. Whether you make lemonade from lemons or a palace from a frozen river is up to you.

So when you’re done “buying things we don’t need with money we don’t have to impress people we don’t like” (Durden). Stop into your favorite watering hole and experience some real Christmas cheer….pace yourself people, they’ll be another one.

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CANCER: June 21 – July 22 “If the world were merely seductive, that would be easy,” wrote Cancerian author E. B. White. “If it were merely challenging, that would be no problem. But I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day.” According to my astrological analysis, your fate in recent weeks has been more challenging than seductive. You’ve been pressed to work on dilemmas and make adjustments more than you might like. But this rhythm is about to change. Up ahead, life is seductive, welcoming, and appealing. Are you prepared to drop any unconscious attachment you have to your interesting discomfort so you can smoothly make the transition to more ease?

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LEO: July 23 – August 22 I want to prepare you for the delights of the coming days. I want to make sure you are fully alert for them and primed to appreciate them. So I give you the thoughts of Leo psychologist Carl Jung. “It is important to have a secret, a premonition of things unknown,” he said. “We must sense that we live in a mysterious world — that things happen and can be experienced that remain inexplicable; that not everything can be anticipated; that the unexpected and incredible belong in this world. Only then is life whole.” VIRGO: August 23 – Sept. 22 Have you taken a refreshing break lately? Maybe even a soothing sabbatical? Have you treated yourself to a respite from the gritty grind? If not, please do so soon. And while you are recharging your psychic batteries, I ask you to give your fantasy life ample room to wander wildly and freely. In my astrological opinion, your imagination needs to be fed and fed with gourmet food for thought. For the sake of your soul’s health, I hope you dream up fantastic, unruly, even outrageous possibilities. LIBRA: Sept. 23 – Oct. 22 My Uncle Ned advised me, “The best gift you can compel your ego to accept is to make it your servant instead of your master.” An early Buddhist teacher sounded a related theme when she told me, “The best things in life are most likely to come your way if you periodically shed all hope and practice being completely empty.” The girlfriend I had when I was 23 confided, “You may get more enjoyment from the witty ways I confound you if you don’t try to understand them.” I offer these three ideas to you, Libra, because you’re in a phase when the moral of your story is that there is no apparent moral to your story — at least until you surrender your notions of what the moral of your story is. SCORPIO: Oct. 23 – Nov. 21: I believe you Scorpios are the zodiac sign most likely to benefit from being empathetic. By that I mean you have substantial power to thrive by reading other people’s moods and feelings. You are often able to figure out angles that enable you to gather what you want while helping others to gather what they want. You are potentially a genius at doing what’s best for everyone and getting paid and rewarded for it. According to my analysis of the astrological omens, this knack of yours will soon be operating at peak levels. SAGITTARIUS: Nov. 22 – Dec. 21 Egyptian Pharaoh Tutankhamun

died over 3,300 years ago. When his mournful entourage placed him in his tomb, the treasures they left included a pot of honey, which was meant to sweeten his travels in the afterlife. In the early 20th century, archaeologists excavated the ancient site. They dared to sample the honey, finding it as tasty and fresh as if it had just been made. Amazingly, this same longevity is a characteristic of most honey. I propose we use this as a metaphor for your life. What old resources or experiences from your past might be as pure and nurturing as they were originally? And now could they be of value now? CAPRICORN: Dec. 22 – Jan. 19 Screenwriter John Patrick Shanley writes, “Life holds its miracles, good erupting from darkness chief among them.” I predict a comparable miracle for you, Capricorn, though I suspect it will arise out of confusion or inertia rather than darkness. My advice: Don’t be so bogged down in the muddle that you miss the signs that a great awakening is nigh. Start rehearsing how you will feel when deliverance arrives. AQUARIUS: Jan. 20 – Feb. 18 Before he reached the height of fame as a novelist, Aquarian Charles Dickens experienced financial instability. When he was 31, the situation got desperate, and he resolved to take extreme measures. For six weeks, beginning in October 1843, he obsessively worked on writing the story A Christmas Carol. It was published on December 19 and sold out in a few days. Within a year, 13 editions were released. Dickens’s economic worries were over. Dear Aquarius, I think the near future will be a favorable time for you, too, to take dramatic, focused action to fix a problem you’re having. PISCES: Feb.19 – March 20 Many religious people believe God can hear their prayers and intervene in worldly affairs. Other religious folks think God can hear their prayers but may not intervene. Then there are the non-religious folks who don’t believe in God and think praying is useless. Wherever you might be on the spectrum, Pisces, I’m pleased to reveal that you will have extra access to support and benefaction in the coming weeks — whether that’s from God, fate, nature, or other humans. So seek out blessings and assistance with alacrity. Be receptive to all potential helpers, even unlikely ones. Homework: My new book has inspirations and prompts akin to what you read in my horoscopes: bit.ly/AstrologyReal


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