Riverfront Times, January 17, 2024 by Big Lou Holdings

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JANUARY 17-23, 2024

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TABLE OF CONTENTS Owner and Chief Executive Officer Chris Keating Executive Editor Sarah Fenske

E D I T O R I A L Managing Editor Jessica Rogen Editor at Large Daniel Hill Staff Writer Ryan Krull Arts & Culture Writer Paula Tredway Dining Critic Cheryl Baehr Theater Critic Tina Farmer Music Critic Steve Leftridge Contributors Aaron Childs, Max Bouvatte, Thomas Crone, Mike Fitzgerald, Cliff Froehlich, Eileen G’Sell, Reuben Hemmer, Braden McMakin, Tony Rehagen, Mabel Suen, Theo Welling Columnists Chris Andoe, Dan Savage

A R T

COVER

P R O D U C T I O N

Art Director Evan Sult Creative Director Haimanti Germain Graphic Designer Aspen Smit

The Sheriff Who Prefers to Scuba

M U L T I M E D I A

A D V E R T I S I N G

Publisher Colin Bell Account Manager Jennifer Samuel Directors of Business Development

Critics say Maries County Sheriff Chris Heitman spends more time underwater than running the jails — and people are dying Cover illustration by

Tony Burton, Rachel Hoppman

C I R C U L A T I O N Circulation Manager Kevin G. Powers

B I G

L O U

H O L D I N G S

Executive Editor Sarah Fenske Vice President of Digital Services Stacy Volhein

SAM WASHBURN

Digital Operations Coordinator Elizabeth Knapp Director of Operations Emily Fear Chief Financial Officer Guillermo Rodriguez Chief Executive Officer Chris Keating

INSIDE Front Burner News Missouriland Feature Calendar Cafe Short Orders Reeferfront Times Culture Music Film Out Every Night Savage Love

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FRONT BURNER

MONDAY, JANUARY 8. Police in Texas announce they’ve arrested a Missouri teacher on the lam after being charged with statutory rape. Hailey CliftonCarmack, a teacher in Pulaski County, not only had sex with a 16-year-old student but used other kids as lookouts. The kid’s dad also gets charged for facilitating the encounters. Stay classy, Missouri. TUESDAY, JANUARY 9. The Clayton School Board apologizes for “inadequate” communication over plans to purchase the HQ being offloaded by Caleres and says it might just sell the property to a developer. The school board came under fire for vague plans for an “Empowerment Campus,” a had-to-be-pricey purchase and the fact that taking the building off the tax rolls will mean way less money for the district going forward. (Not guilty in the kerfuffle: KDHX Villain Gary Pierson. Yes, Pierson serves on the school board — but he abstained from all discussion because a lawyer at his firm reps the seller.) Meanwhile, protestors at the St. Louis County Council meeting urge a cease-

Previously On

(one the GOP’s own guy!) simply because they’re Jewish is apparently not disqualifying to Missouri Republicans.

LAST WEEK IN ST. LOUIS

FRIDAY, JANUARY 12. It goes from rainy and mid 40s to low 20s and windwhipped snow in a single afternoon. Brutal. Also, those crazy McCloskeys endorse Andrew Bailey for Missouri Attorney General, which ought to put at least two votes in his column, and the St. Louis Board of Aldermen makes its own call for a ceasefire, which will surely stop the violence in Gaza by nightfall.

fire in Gaza — because if there’s anybody we look to for thought leadership on international affairs, it’s the St. Louis County Council. Sad news: the death of renowned UMSL criminologist Rick Rosenfeld, who was never too busy to take calls from even the most annoying reporters (read: us) and sincerely tried to make sense of incredibly complicated subjects. RIP. WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 10. St. Louis County has a new logo, and it’s weird. Pink with serifs? How does that cost $90,000? Meanwhile, the alleged cult leader whose six followers recently disappeared from Berkeley tells the PostDispatch he doesn’t know the people in question and would definitely not pressure anyone to drink Kool-Aid. “I’m just

giving you my opinion on a plethora of different subjects: from metaphysics to quantum physics to molecular biology to marine biology to geography to Black history to world history. I’m giving you my opinions on these things,” Rashad Jamal tells Katie Kull. “That doesn’t make me a cult leader.” Glad we could clear that up. THURSDAY, JANUARY 11. With snow predicted for Friday afternoon, Schnucks is a madhouse. Meanwhile, Democrats may have stripped disgraced lawmaker Sarah Unsicker (D-Twitter) of all her committee assignments, but Republicans just appointed her to the Special Committee on Government Accountability — because accusing two candidates for attorney general of being foreign agents

SATURDAY, JANUARY 13. It is really cold. The Missouri Chiefs crush the Dolphins as Taylor Swift endures the fourth coldest game of NFL history. Definitely a keeper! SUNDAY, JANUARY 14. It’s even colder, and some bad guys try to rob patrons at the MetroLink’s Shrewsbury-Lansdowne station. Two get stabbed, and a third is shot. Both perps are now in custody; the victims are expected to recover.

4 QUESTIONS with the Reverend Michelle Higgins Like the late Martin Luther King Jr., Michelle Higgins is both a pastor and an activist. Senior pastor at St. John’s Church - the Beloved Community in north St. Louis, she sees her job as not just to illuminate Biblical truths but to push for change. We caught up with her recently to get her thoughts on King’s legacy, the book of James and just how long her sermons tend to be. This conversation has been edited for length and clarity. There was a TikTok discussion about how often men think about the Roman empire. As a preacher passionate about social justice, how often do you think about Martin Luther King Jr.? I think of Dr. King a lot as a reverend — we always say Dr. King, but he was a pastor. And that means so much to me as both a preacher and a protester. But when I think of him “often,” it is in the context of a great cloud of witnesses, as our faith tradition says. I think of Dr. King, I think of Diane Nash, I think of Bayard Rustin. I think of him as a pastor to the people and an organizer for the change that he preached about. Within the Black church, there’s a long history of pastors being great civil rights leaders. What’s that pairing of faith and action about? Well, for some of us in the Christian tradition, it simply comes from reading the book of James. In James, there is so much to be said about faith and how faith requires work in order to be active and living. And so you’ve got a lot of pastors who saw their church buildings as not only a gathering space for spiritual health but realized that a shift in material conditions was crucial to the success of any spiritual health campaign that they put on. St. John’s Church is proud to be the birthplace of Action St. Louis, and we were proud to have hosted one of the first freedom rides in 2014 after the murder of Michael Brown Jr. We’re also proud to be a supporter and a partner to the international movement for Black lives. And we are only continuing the traditions that were begun at the very birth of the Black church, which itself was a resistance and

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Rev. Michelle Higgins has some thoughts on Martin Luther King, Jr. | RAQUITA HENDERSON, PINXIT PHOTOGRAPHY a protest. The history of the AME, the Church of God in Christ and even multiple Baptist traditions, they broke away from the all-whiteled, grounded-and-founded church movements because there was no place for, and no humanizing of, Black people in them. The Black church itself is a marker of resistance. Do you think about that every time you take the pulpit? Absolutely. And one of the things that we advocate for at St. John’s is harm reduction, via understanding trauma in our addiction advocacy programs. We talk often about loving the soul and the person that carries the soul and not judging them. We find ourselves ministering not only to the people in the pews but longing to be a home for everyone under the shadow of the steeple. So that’s every week. My sermons take about 20 hours to prepare. Twenty hours? How long do you preach? You know, my hope is about 20 minutes. But don’t ask any of our congregation. They’ll say, “She finds a way to preach the whole service!” —Sarah Fenske

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T H E D E V I L’ S I N T H E D E TA I L S

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WEEKLY WTF?!

7-0-7 TOUR

ELVIS COSTELLO & THE IMPOSTERS PLUS CHARLIE SEXTON

FRI, JAN 26

THE SIMON AND GARFUNKEL STORY FRI, FEB 2

BAND OF HORSES SAT, FEB 17

Someone must have been flying down Chouteau. | SARAH FENSKE

SUBTRONICS PLUS WOOLI, HEDEX, SAKA, JON CASEY, SKELLYTN

THU, FEB 22

CRASH WATCH Where: Chroma STL Apartments, Chouteau and Sarah streets, the Grove When: 3:06 p.m., Friday, December 29 What: a bent gate, a shattered sliding door Why: This being St. Louis, it’s safe to assume a car went skidding off the road, through the gate and into the first-floor apartment of some poor unfortunate soul who only wanted proximity to a happenin’ nightlife district — and not vehicles hurtling through their window. Alas: This being St. Louis, ’twas an impossible dream. And alack: The marauding vehicle would have had to careen a good 200 feet off the right-of-way. Almost impressive, really.

15 SECONDS OF FAME ASSCLOWN OF THE WEEK

Jay Ashcroft

To say Missouri Secretary of State Jay Ashcroft had a terrible week last week may feel like hyperbole, yet we assure you it’s understatement. On January 7, Ashcroft’s family were victims of a swatting incident, with police arriving at their home after a fake report that a woman had been shot there. Yet things soon got even worse. That Monday, Ashcroft appeared on CNN to suggest that if Colorado kicks Donald Trump off the ballot Jay Ashcroft. | STATE OF MISSOURI for insurrection, well gosh darn it, Missouri would kick Joe Biden off the ballot, too. The argument went about as well as you’d expect, with the host pressing Ashcroft on how he’d get around the Missouri law saying only judges can remove people from the ballot (he’d ignore the law, duh) and what insurrection Biden engaged in. “There have been allegations that he’s engaged in insurrection,” Ashcroft said. Like what? “Are you scared of the truth?” asked the unhinged Missourian. “I have seen allegations from the lieutenant governor of Texas that Joe Biden has been part of insurrection or rebellion; we’ve seen the governor of Florida say the same thing.” Asked for specifics, Ashcroft stammered his way into a viral moment so painful, it made swatting seem fun.

GOODBYE YELLER BRICK ROAD, THE FINAL TOUR

LEWIS BLACK FRI, FEB 23

MUSCADINE BLOODLINE PLUS BEN CHAPMAN

SAT, FEB 24 ST. PATRICK’S DAY TOUR 2024

DROPKICK MURPHYS PLUS PENNYWISE

AND THE SCRATCH

MON, FEB 26

THREE DOG NIGHT PLUS CHRIS TRAPPER

FRI, MAR 1

EXCISION PLUS ATLIENS, RAY VOLPE, ZAYZ, DRINKURWATER

tue, MAR 12

TOWER OF POWER thu, MAR 14

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NEWS Drone Co. Cancels Gravois Park Plans A “frenzy” from residents shut down the anti-crime surveillance beta test Written by

RYAN KRULL

he private drone surveillance company that wanted to conduct a “beta test” of its crimefighting abilities in St. Louis’ Gravois Park neighborhood now says that test is off. However, the drones may still be coming to a neighborhood near you. Alderman Shane Cohn, whose 3rd Ward includes parts of Gravois Park, tells the RFT the Gravois Park Neighborhood Association received an email Friday morning from SMS Novel CEO Joe Johnson saying that “after careful consideration, we have decided to withdraw the beta test from Gravois Park.” Johnson blamed the decision on what he calls fear and ignorance regarding privacy laws whipping up a “frenzy.” “It has become apparent that some residents prioritize ‘concerns’ over public privacy, hindering collaborative efforts to address crime effectively,” Johnson wrote. His message added that the company has received “implicit violent threats.” Johnson had previously implied that his drones were already surveilling Gravois Park. In an audio recording he gave to the neighborhood group earlier in the week, he could be heard saying, “I want to re-emphasize that our app and our operators have been in St. Louis for close to two months now. You haven’t noticed anything, I don’t believe. And it will be the same way when we’re doing the beta testing.” When the RFT reached out about that recording, he did not elaborate on what the drones had been do-

Gravois Park residents successfully fought back against “anti-crime” drones pushed by a for-profit company. | FLICKR/PAUL SABLEMAN ing the past two months but later stated that he did not mean the drones were already at work in Gravois Park, only in other unspecified areas of the city. Johnson’s plans inspired 7th Ward Alderwoman Alisha Sonnier to introduce legislation at the Board of Aldermen to regulate private surveillance drones. Sonnier called Johnson’s project exploitative and rooted in fear-mongering. She said her bill would heavily regulate commercial drones, requiring them to register with the city as well as make schools and public buildings no-fly zones.

Johnson did not respond to our message Friday seeking comment on his latest announcement. Cohn tells the RFT that he’s aware of an additional message that SMS Novel sent out to some local media (though, alas, not the RFT). It contains additional language saying that SMS Novel Films will do a different beta test “in an unnamed neighborhood at a time of our choosing.” “Rest assured, our on-demand drone app service will remain available citywide,” that message says. Gravois Park, however, is claim-

ing Johnson’s decision as a win. The group of residents that circulated petitions to stop the drone shared this statement: “Simply put, Gravois Park residents are breathing a sigh of relief this morning. St. Louis deserves better than the countless hacks and grifters who continuously try to experiment on and plunder our neighborhoods. This time, we said no. “We thank Mayor Jones, President Green, Alderwoman Sonnier and Alderman Cohn for their steadfast support of the Gravois Park neighborhood throughout this process. Additionally, SMS Novel’s recent statement underscores the importance of passing BB 199. The company says our concerns are overblown — while also saying they’ll still fly drones in an ‘unnamed neighborhood at a time of our choosing.’ This is alarming, and Mayor Jones and our alderpeople should further protect us by increasing regulations on the use of commercial drones. “Finally, Gravois Park residents are committed to achieving real public safety together by strengthening our neighborhood ties and calling for the investments we need into affordable housing, public schools, and our people. We’ll continue our community organizing efforts in the weeks and months ahead.” n

Chief Speaks to Bar:PM Incident Robert Tracy apologized for his officers but didn’t go much farther Written by

RYAN KRULL

fter three high-profile police car crashes in the past month, St. Louis Police Chief Robert Tracy acknowledged last Tuesday — at least tacitly — that his officers may need better training behind the wheel. Tracy was at a press conference last week along with Mayor Tishaura Jones and other public officials touting the drop in homicides last year to the lowest level in a decade. “But let me be clear, we are not here to celebrate,” Jones said. “One life lost to

Police Chief Robert Tracy says officers in the Bar:PM incident “made a mistake.” | RYAN KRULL violence is one too many.” She noted that she herself has lost four family members to gun violence since becoming mayor in 2021. Still, on the homicide front, there was

cause for optimism. A chart on an easel next to the mayor showed that last year’s 158 homicides were down not just from the pandemic high of 263 killings in 2020, Continued on pg PB

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but also to below pre-pandemic levels. Tracy, for his part, spoke about bringing back into the department officers who had previously left for other agencies or, as Tracy put it, “for greener pastures, or so they thought.” When it came time for questions from the media, virtually all of them were for the police chief. Tracy, who last week celebrated one year with the St. Louis Metropolitan Police Department, was asked about departmental transparency, his own availability to the media, and the police SUV that one month ago slammed into Bar:PM, an incident that made national news after the gay bar’s co-owner was arrested. “I feel bad,” Tracy said. “And I’m sorry that their establishment got hit.” Tracy said he was limited on what he could say about the incident because he is the “final arbiter” of the internal investigation into the officer behind the wheel of the SUV who hit the bar. But Tracy did say that because the officer has already admitted to some things, he could “go out on a limb” and say the investigation wasn’t going to result in a finding of “no fault.” “They made a mistake,” Tracy said. “And just because they made a mistake, it doesn’t mean we don’t hold them accountable.” About the body cam footage of the incident, Tracy said he was limited by the state Sunshine Law as to what he could release, an assertion that KSDK’s Mark Maxwell pushed back on, noting that the footage’s release was only barred by the police’s own investigation — which Tracy has the authority to close. Tracy cited the criminal prosecution of the bar’s co-owner, Chad Morris, as preventing the release of the footage. In addition to the Bar:PM crash, police crashed another SUV on January 7 in Downtown West and another one in December in north city — both dramatic incidents that left the vehicles upside down. Asked about those, Tracy said that each officer gets 40 hours of defensive training in the police academy, and when they become officers, they take part in a six-month evaluation wherein they are paired with a senior officer who assesses their ability behind the wheel. “Maybe we should grade that a little harder,” he said. Tracy added: “I’m looking at the type of training, and I’ve sat down with the trainers. I’m looking nationally, I go to conferences, I talk to other chiefs, what are you doing to bring accidents down? Because more officers get hurt in car accidents, and so do other people, than probably any other thing.” Asked to grade himself overall, Tracy said he’d give himself a B. “There’s so much more work to do,” he said. n

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GOP Pols’ Goal: Abolish Death Penalty The lawmakers are pushing legislation to stop Missouri from executions Written by

CLARA BATES

group of Republican lawmakers raised concerns about the death penalty and advocated for legislation that would abolish it in Missouri during a January 9 press conference at the state capitol — characterizing it as an issue of restraining government overreach and protecting life. Representative Chad Perkins, a Republican from Bowling Green, has filed legislation to abolish the death penalty and sentence those on death row instead to life in prison without parole. “I think morally, I feel obligated,” Perkins said. “Anyone who says they’re pro-life should feel a little conflicted on this topic — because if you’re pro-life then I think you’ve got to look at it and say you’re that way from the beginning to the very end. And I don’t think that the government should have a monopoly on violence.” Joining Perkins at last Tuesday’s capitol rally were Republican Representatives Tony Lovasco of O’Fallon, Jim Murphy of St. Louis and Travis Smith of Douglas. Missouri was one of only five states to carry out death sentences last year, along with Texas, Florida, Oklahoma and Alabama. Missouri executed four people in 2023 and two in 2022. Between 1979 and 2021, the state executed 91 people, according to the Death Penalty Information Center. Four people on death row in the state have been exonerated in Missouri since 1989. “If we are truly at a 100 percent pro-life state, and being 100 percent pro-life,” Murphy said, “I believe that the death penalty is something that we really need to examine and put an end to because there’s just too many errors to be made and it’s just too big an error to make.” Demetrius Minor, national

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State Representative Chad Perkins is among a group of GOP lawmakers sponsoring legislation to abolish the death penalty. | TIM BOMMEL, MISSOURI HOUSE COMMUNICATIONS

“Anyone who says they’re pro-life should feel a little conflicted on this topic — because if you’re pro-life then I think you’ve got to look at it and say you’re that way from the beginning to the very end.” manager for the national advocacy group Conservatives Concerned About the Death Penalty, said Missouri could look to other states like Ohio, where there is a Republican trifecta and momentum against the death penalty, with legislative hearings over a bill to abolish it. “The trend is beyond dispute,” Minor said, “An increasing number of conservative Republican state lawmakers nationwide are taking the lead because they believe in limited government, they demand fiscal responsibility and most importantly, they value life.” Lovasco, who filed the bill in previous years seeking to abolish the death penalty in Missouri, said he’s seen increased momen-

tum on the issue from his fellow Republicans. “We’re seeing, finally, willingness to have a discussion about this within the Republican Party,” he said, “both behind the scenes and now finally in public.” Last year, after Lovasco introduced an amendment during the budget process to defund the death penalty, he said, “almost double the number of people in the Republican Party voted in favor of defunding the death penalty than when it had happened previously, when roll call votes had been done in the past by Democrats.” Perkins is hopeful the issue gains traction this session, but it hasn’t been referred to a House committee yet. “Oftentimes an idea comes about and starts to get a bit of traction, and it doesn’t quite make it across the finish line,” Perkins said. “But you can feel that there’s a direction that people are going, and so maybe it’s an idea whose time hasn’t quite come about, but I think that the time is coming.” Another bill, filed by Republican state Senator Mary Elizabeth Coleman of Arnold, would limit but not abolish the death penalty. Her legislation would repeal a state law allowing a judge to decide on a death sentence when a jury is not in unanimous agreement. Most of the states with active death penalty laws require unanimous jury decision. In only Indiana and Missouri, a judge is allowed to impose a death sentence when a jury decision can’t be reached on sentencing. n This story was originally published in the Missouri Independent.

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MISSOURILAND

Birds of a Feather Pigeon fanciers came to roost in St. Louis, but few feathers were ruffled Words and Photos by

REUBEN HEMMER

igeon lovers flocked to Purina Farms on January 8 for the 2024 Spirit of St. Louis All Age All Breed Pigeon Show, hosted by the St. Louis Metropolitan Pigeon Fanciers Association. There was no pecking order among attendees, with a crowd as diverse as the breeds on display. Ted Golka, one of 12 Master Breeders in the country and a recognized Indian Fantail Master Judge, stated, “We are judging different breeds brought in from all over the U.S. today — rare breeds, show rollers, Jacobins, Archangels and many more.” Golka himself traveled from his home in Glenwood, Iowa, to judge the event. A heartwarming testament to the bonds forged from a shared passion for pigeons came from Eugene Sande of Delton, Wisconsin, and Jim Brandt of Decorah, Iowa. The pair met at a pigeon show when Sande was 16. Despite living in different states, the two have traveled the country as “pigeon buddies” for more than 60 years participating in competitions in many different states. They attended the St. Louis show in true style by donning homemade shirts displaying their fowl — not foul — friendship. At the end of the day, trophies were presented and champions crowned. “Typically, this show is packed with over 2,500 pigeons, but I think a lot of people are holding out for the nationals in Louisville at the end of the month,” Golka said. “Either way it has been a great turnout, and a lot of fun this year.” n

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A C E L E B R AT I O N O F T H E U N I Q U E A N D FA S C I N AT I N G A S P E C T S O F O U R H O M E

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The

Sheriff scuba Who Prefersto BY RYAN KRULL

Critics say Maries County sheriff Chris Heitman spends more time underwater than running the jails — and people are dying

On December 20,

about a week before he jetted off to an atoll in the Pacific Ocean, Sheriff Chris Heitman made a stop at City Hall in Belle, Missouri, to execute a search warrant. Heitman is the sheriff of Maries County, population 8,400, about two hours southwest of St. Louis. Belle is by far the county’s biggest town, and Heitman was at its city hall as part of an investigation into Mayor Daryl White, whom Heitman accused of stealing 12 cans of paint from a city-owned garage. This, to Heitman’s mind, rose to the level of “official misconduct.” The unusually long, discursive probable cause statement Heitman wrote to justify the charges also makes mention of a gun White allegedly stole. Even so, in

the same paragraph alleging the theft, it later acknowledges that the gun is in a locker in the police department where it belongs. Local media like the Maries County Advocate were on the scene as Heitman executed the warrant — tipped off, Heitman’s critics say, by the sheriff to drum up publicity. White has long been critical of Heitman, and some of White’s allies believe the raid was payback for a recently filed Sunshine Law request seeking records of the sheriff’s department’s spending on scuba equipment.

Chris Heitman is proud of how he’s used scuba to help families in need. | COURTESY CHRIS HEITMAN

White didn’t make the request (in fact, the RFT did). But White acknowledges he previously threatened to make one just like it. The scuttle around Maries County — of which there is plenty — was that Heitman thought the mayor had something to do with the RFT’s inquiry. Heitman denies that. But the raid on a known critic has added fuel to the complaints about the sheriff. Critics say Heitman is preoccupied with exotic travel and a scuba side hustle, leading many in Maries County to wonder out loud if he may be neglecting duties that come with his job as sheriff, including running the Maries County Jail. Detractors say people have died in entirely preventable ways there as Heitman delegates its operations to deputies and even detainees. And that’s only the tip of the speargun. Critics also question Heitman’s connection to a series of suspicious fires on properties

he or his associates own. Vienna Police Chief Shannon Thompson, whose office is four blocks from Heitman’s, outlined these concerns in a five-page letter he sent to the office of Missouri Attorney Andrew Bailey last July. In addition to concerns about Heitman’s scuba operation, Thompson alleges a litany of other wrongdoing, from financial misconduct to civil rights violations, arson to insurance fraud. He writes that he’d become extremely frustrated after making complaints to several state agencies and trying to get someone to look into Heitman for years. “I now feel that it is no longer a matter of ridding my agency of the liability of having such information and taking no action but rather, I’m a very frustrated and ashamed law enforcement officer and lifetime Maries County citizen,” he wrote. He went on to say in the

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SCUBA SHERIFF Continued from pg 15

complaint that Heitman’s tenure has seen “two preventable deaths,” referring to a man who died in the custody of the Maries County Jail, which Heitman oversees, and another man killed after a detainee there was mistakenly released. Thus far, Bailey hasn’t seen fit to take any action.

eitman, 44, grew up in the part of unincorporated south St. Louis County known as Oakville, and says he always knew he wanted to work in law enforcement. “Ever since I was a young child, I knew I wanted to be a teacher like my dad, or a policeman,” he says. He took criminology courses at St. Louis Community College and later joined the Jennings Police Department. But when he was in his early twenties, Heitman’s father passed away, leading Heitman to relocate to the family farm just outside Belle, a place where he had spent his summers and many, many weekends growing up. “I was always a country kid,” he says. He was first elected Maries’ sheriff in 2008, at age 29. Even his political foes concede he is a larger-than-life figure, media savvy, outgoing and charismatic both online and in the room. He’s very active across multiple Facebook accounts, including a “digital creator” page, a page for his Scuba Adventure dive shop and one titled “Sheriff’s Thoughts,” where Heitman posts musings on the matters of the day. But a lot of the content Heitman posts to Facebook — perhaps the majority, in the case of some of the accounts — is about scuba diving, not law enforcement. Posts from the past year show him on scuba expeditions to the Red Sea in Egypt, Bonaire island in the Dutch Caribbean, the Florida Keys, Micronesia and Mexico. His critics say he spends more time traveling the world and working at his dive shop in Jefferson City than he does at the sheriff’s office in Vienna, Missouri, despite a $70,000 salary. One former deputy, who is now running for the job, estimates that even being “very generous,” Heitman spends 12 hours on the job a month. For his part, White guesses Heitman spent just 10 hours on the clock as sheriff in December before serving the search warrant on city

Sheriff Heitman speaks to CBS affiliate KRCG. | SCREENSHOT VIA KRCG

Heitman admits he doesn’t spend as much time as he once did on sheriff-related duties. He stresses that he’s “always available,” and mostly works at the dive shop nights and weekends. hall. A deputy deposed as part of a lawsuit against the Maries County Jail said that she works mostly in the office and doesn’t see Heitman even once a month. Asked where he might be, she replied, “I don’t know.” Heitman says he first got into scuba diving in the summer of 2015, when he found himself at the scene of a drowning at the Lake of the Ozarks. He says he witnessed the victim’s family waiting in agony for a dive team to show up. “People shouldn’t have to wait six hours for a diver to get here to get their loved one out of the bottom of the lake,” he says. After that experience, Heitman started diving himself, and later formed the Mid-Missouri Sheriff’s Dive Team, a “dive rescue and recovery service” that Heitman says is strictly volunteer and does not get any equipment from the sheriff’s budget. He sent the RFT photos of the dive team looking for the body of a missing person in a lake in Ozark County, for a murder victim in a river in Boonville, and for Kenny Loudermilk, a paraglider who went missing on the Missouri River near Washington last year. In June 2019, Heitman bought

Scuba Adventure, a dive shop a few miles outside of downtown Jefferson City. A statue of three dolphins leaping up into the air sits out front. In addition to selling scuba gear and running certification classes, the store has for the past several years actively promoted dive trips that can be booked to locales around the globe. Based on photos posted to Scuba Adventure’s Facebook page, Heitman is usually on the excursions. Pictures posted the first week of January, for instance, show him diving off an atoll in Micronesia. Thompson, for his part, is skeptical about a sheriff of a county with almost no major bodies of water running a dive team. “I have no proof of it, but about the time he was starting his Scuba Adventure there in Jeff City was about the time he put this dive team together,” Thompson says. “I mean, we’ve got the Gasconade River, but hell, most places you can walk across it.” Heitman admits he doesn’t spend as much time as he once did on sheriff-related duties, saying that when he first started as sheriff he was putting in 60- to 80-hour weeks, which he does his best to

avoid these days. He stresses that he’s “always available” and mostly works at the dive shop nights and weekends. However, he acknowledges that, in addition to the scuba business, he also does contract work for the U.S. Marshal’s Service at the federal courthouse in Jefferson City. “I may not be in the office, but that doesn’t mean I’m not sitting over in Belle, or sitting somewhere else,” he says. He hasn’t seen Thompson’s complaint to the attorney general but says that it’s no coincidence that the police chief’s cousin, Buddy Thompson, has been a challenger every time Heitman is up for reelection. “The Thompson family doesn’t like me,” Heitman says, adding that Shannon may have a particular ax to grind because Heitman once got wind that Shannon was “misappropriating” family inheritance money. Heitman forwarded those allegations to the Missouri Highway Patrol. (They elected not to pursue things any further.) Heitman denies tipping off the media to the search of Belle City Hall and is adamant the charges against White weren’t motivated by anything other than White’s actions. “We got a call from an employee that he was stealing again,” he says. “We verified it with another employee that witnessed it, and we acted on it. That’s the only reason why that took place.”

elle Mayor Daryl White, 47, has his own story to tell about politically motivated attacks. He’s lived in or near Belle his entire life. He owns an auto glass repair shop in town and 15 years ago served as mayor for the first time. He got back into city government in 2022 when an alderman got sick and resigned. White was appointed to his seat and then ran for mayor last year, winning election in April. Asked how his Christmas was, White says, “Horrible.” White can’t talk about the stealing and official misconduct charges against him, but says that Belle recently ended its contract with Heitman’s department for policing in the city. Speaking through his lawyer, TJ Kirsch, White says he has “no doubt” that played a role in the charges he’s now facing. Belle had contracted with the sheriff’s department for policing services, paying them around $225,000 a year. But residents felt like they were getting “double dipped,” White says, as they were

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Heitman’s Mid-Missouri Sheriff’s Dive Team searches for a murder victim in Boonville. | COURTESY CHRIS HEITMAN

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paying the sheriff’s department to police an area that’s mostly already in its jurisdiction (only the northern tip of Belle is in Osage County). After Belle reconstituted its own police department in December 2022, White says Heitman refused to let them dispatch through Maries County. Today, he says, there is “zero working relationship.” White says that as mayor he’s been steadfastly in favor of Belle having its own police department. “We’re self-sufficient,” he says. Some people believe the request I made for sheriff’s department financial records escalated the tension. On November 29, I sought information on how the department spends money on scuba gear. I first started looking at sheriff’s operations due to the 2020 death of Marvin Elmore at the Maries County Jail, a facility Heitman is in charge of. A lawsuit stemming from Elmore’s jail death filed in federal court accuses Heitman of being “deliberately indifferent” in his running of the jail. The lawsuit is particularly damning of the person whom it alleges Heitman has delegated day-to-day jail operations to, Sheriff’s Deputy Scott John. Elmore, 59, was booked into the

jail twice in 2020, the first time in January. About a week later, Elmore, a diabetic, saw his blood sugar spike to dangerous levels, but when an ambulance arrived, John refused to release him, signing a refusal form for the EMS. After Elmore had been in the jail for about six weeks, he was brutally assaulted by another detainee in the dayroom shower. A photo taken of Elmore after the beating shows his face with stitches and a deep purple bruise swelling below his eye. The severely wounded Elmore was allowed out of jail and remained out of custody for several months. According to others, during this period he told others his beating had been “orchestrated” by John. Elmore’s second stint in the Maries County jail began on September 1. Elmore entered the facility with extremely high blood sugar and suffered a seizure that night. The lawsuit says John “taunted” him, telling Elmore — who now had less than a week to live — that he wasn’t going to get out of jail by “faking” sick. Elmore then had a second seizure his second night in the jail, this time rolling out of his bed and striking his head on the floor. A jailer came in and viewed the scene a little after midnight. But it was hours later, only a few minutes before 2 a.m., that she called

for an ambulance. Elmore was found to have a subdural hematoma, a condition which often results from a fall where blood pools between the skull and the brain. He died on September 8, a week after being booked into the jail. “We treat animals better than the way jail staff treated him,” says Jack Waldron, the attorney representing Elmore’s widow in the suit against the jail. The suit says that at least five assaults have occurred in the jail in recent years. Heitman couldn’t say much about the jail or the Elmore case, due to the pending lawsuit. Though, he acknowledges, the suit “paints a horrible picture of our jail.” “I will say it was absolutely a tragic incident. A lot of my staff is very upset over it,” he says. “They tried to help where they could, is really all I can say.” Then there’s the case of Brandon Veasman. In August of 2021, the 42-yearold from Dixon was locked up in the Maries County Jail when he pled guilty to tampering with a motor vehicle charges and was sentenced to seven years in state prison. He should have been transferred to the state system to serve his time, but instead, according to Thompson’s complaint to the attorney general’s office, the jail released him to Pulaski

County on a different charge and he bonded out. After bonding out of Pulaski, he fatally stabbed 63-year-old Mark Ethington at Ethington’s home just outside Dixon on September 17. “If they had done what they were supposed to do, this wouldn’t have happened,” Chantel Farrow, Veasman’s ex-fiance, tells the RFT. There is plenty of blame to go around. Court records indicate Maries County was supposed to release him to the state system, though Heitman disputes this. However, he’s not wrong that it was actually Pulaski County that let him loose. “He wasn’t released by our agency,” Heitman says. “There was no wrongdoing by Maries County on that.”

ormer Dixon, Missouri, Police Chief TJ Halle worked as a Maries County deputy under Heitman from 2013 to 2016. He says the Maries County Jail is a place where “inmates are sleeping with inmates. Dispatchers are sleeping with inmates.” At one point during his stint on the force, Halle says that blood vessels burst in his eyes, and he couldn’t work the road. He was assigned to dispatch, a facility located in the same building as the jail. Halle told Heitman that he

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couldn’t even see the dispatch computer screens, but Heitman told him not to worry, he says, and introduced him to a detainee named Stacey Karr. “He’ll do the looking,” Halle remembers being told. Karr was awaiting his day in court on drug possession charges. “Doing the looking” included looking into the Missouri uniform law enforcement system (often referred to as MULES), a database that is only supposed to be accessed by law enforcement officers. Another detainee, Alex Schutz, whom Halle describes as a “heavyhitter with heroin” practically ran dispatch by himself, Halle says. Halle says that he raised concerns to the Missouri Highway Patrol about the jail’s over-reliance on detainees to run both the jail and dispatch, but those concerns fell on deaf ears. He continued to speak up about how the sheriff’s office was run, he says. For instance, Halle says that he saw deputies conduct warrantless digital searches. “When someone was brought in, they would look through their phone or their laptop or their tablet that they found inside their personal belongings,” Halle says. “And if they found anything inside of it, they would then apply for a warrant afterwards.” Halle says his complaints led to no changes, and he was shown the door in 2016. Heitman chalks up everything Halle says to him being a disgruntled former employee. About the jail being a place where everyone sleeps with everyone, Heitman says that a deputy was found in 2018 to be having sex with the detainees, but he fired her and filed charges. He says the prosecutor dropped the case when the detainees she’d allegedly been inappropriate with didn’t show up to testify against her. The sheriff addressed my questions about Halle, and other critics, early in the new year by phone from Micronesia, where an expedition he’d led to the Truk Lagoon was wrapping up. Near the end of World War II, the Japanese navy suffered heavy losses at the lagoon. Now, in addition to the pristine blue water and warm temperatures, the Truk Lagoon allows divers to swim through and explore the sunken naval wrecks. “It’s like Japan’s Pearl Harbor, is the best way to describe it,” Heitman says. “It’s amazing, just the history here.”

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Just as his critics say, Heitman comes off as personable, even as you raise allegations of him not doing his job. He flatly denies everything his critics say about him, and over the course of two phone call writes them off as bad-faith attacks motivated by overheated small-town politics. “You’re in the public eye. You can expect some of the negative stuff,” he says. In part because of all the heat he’s been taking, Heitman isn’t seeking re-election this November, though he has thrown his full support behind his deputy Scott John. As that campaign kicks into gear, there is now a Facebook page called Maries Countians for Accountability. It recently published photos of documents showing that in 2016 a sheriff’s office debit card was used at a Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse in Mobile, Alabama, as well as a Hooters in nearby Gulf Shores. The card was also used at a few gay bars in Mobile. Heitman says that several people from his office were in Mobile for firearms training and a deputy accidentally used the department’s card when he meant to use his personal one. The cards, he says, were issued by the same bank and looked identical. “Literally as soon as it was discovered it was all paid back,” Heitman says, adding that because Maries County is in the Bible Belt it hasn’t been hard for political opponents to seize on the gay bar angle. “The Thompsons have been saying stuff on the internet,” he says. “They’re some of the most cruel people I’ve ever known.”

f all the innuendo about Heitman, it is the talk of fires that seems to upset him the most. White says that the fires are a “hot button” issue in Maries County. “That bothers me so bad,” says Heitman. In May 2011, a house Heitman owned on West Parkview Drive in Belle caught fire. According to a police report, a Belle police officer was the first on the scene, and he saw “flames coming from the upper and lower levels of Heitman’s residence.” Heitman says that he lost everything in the fire, including pretty much everything he had that once belonged to his dad, who died when Heitman was in his early twenties. “All my dad’s guns, we lost so much stuff,” he says. Speaking to an investigator

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from the Missouri State Fire Marshal’s Office, Heitman said that at the time of the fire he lived in the house with his daughter as well as Chad Faulkner, 19, who’d lived at the house for the past four years and worked as a jailer and dispatcher at the Maries County Jail. Faulkner told state investigators he didn’t know of anyone who’d want to burn the house down, but added “that with it being the Sheriff’s residence, that anyone that had a grudge against him or the department could have.” Heitman says that though he received information that “someone else set it,” the fire was never proven to be arson. Two years later — on August 12, 2013, to be exact — a four-unit apartment owned by Heitman closer to the center of Belle caught fire. The fire started in a secondfloor unit being rented by Halle, then Heitman’s deputy, about 20 minutes after Halle left for work. A police report says that the fire started from Halle’s unit’s stove, and its burner was found set in the “on” position. Halle says he knows for a fact he hadn’t used the stove in several days. His dog was home when the fire broke out but was luckily saved. Heitman says it’s “absurd” for anyone to suggest he himself set the fire. “There was no insurance on it,” he says of the four-family flat. “I mean, none.” Yet according to the police report, Heitman initially told investigators that “he did not believe his insurance was current.” However, an addendum to the report says that Heitman followed up with investigators to say that in fact the policy on the building was still active — though it had been due to lapse on August 14, two days after the fire. The third fire Heitman is accused of being involved in happened at Scuba Adventure, back before Heitman owned it. The dive shop used to be on East Jefferson Street. Prior to June 2019, Heitman’s friend Jeff Adams was Scuba Adventure’s proprietor. Heitman often helped out around the store. On the morning of March 25, 2019, as Adams was on a dive trip in the Bahamas, the business caught fire. The last person at the shop the night before was Heitman, according to a Jefferson City police report. Heitman told police “everything was fine when he left.” Security camera footage from a nearby business didn’t show anything suspicious from the time he left to the time the fire broke out.

Reports from both the Jefferson City police and fire departments indicated the fire was under investigation, but neither report contains any conclusion. Heitman describes the fire as “not even a real fire,” but an electric fire that only caused smoke damage. “That building is still standing today,” he says. Heitman bought the business six months later. Curiously, that December, according to a fire marshal report, Belle Fire Protection District Chief Dwight Francis got a tip that “a fire may occur” at the property on West Parkview Drive, the same place where Heitman’s house burned down in 2011. The land no longer belonged to Heitman; in 2017 he’d sold it to his jailer and former housemate, Chad Faulkner, who built his own house there. The tip came in on December 10, 2019, and Francis passed it along to the state fire marshal’s office, who set up cameras to surveil Faulkner’s house. Those cameras subsequently caught Faulkner’s brother, Cody, setting fire to the house while Faulkner was with his fiance in Mexico. The state fire marshal’s office conducted an investigation, and at one point Faulkner threatened an investigator after the investigator contacted his fiance. “I’ll take my end of what’s coming, but if you go after her, it won’t be good,” he said. According to the Maries County Advocate, Faulkner later admitted to paying his brother $5,000 to burn the place down, though not before removing some deer mounts from the residence. Faulkner says he was motivated by “financial hardships.” The brothers both got probation. Posts made to Heitman’s “digital creator” Facebook page show Heitman was also in Mexico at the time of the fire. Specifically, a photo shows Heitman in full scuba gear in blue water, doing what’s called “cenote diving,” swimming through underwater caves. “Is this Bennet?” a commenter on the photo asks, thinking Heitman might be at Bennett Spring State Park, which offers diving, near Lebanon, Missouri. “No,” Heitman replied. “It’s in Mexico.” In one of our phone calls, I asked Heitman if his jail employee and erstwhile roommate happened to be on the same trip. “I was in Cozumel,” Heitman says. “Chad flew out to Cancun, I believe. So, no, I never saw Chad. He wasn’t on my trip at all.” n

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CALENDAR

BY RIVERFRONT TIMES STAFF

FRIDAY 01/19 Family Jewels While it may lack some of the magic of its fellow Jim Henson-penned Labyrinth — specifically, the magic introduced to us by David Bowie’s massive hog as it tests the tensile strength of the fibers struggling to hold the crotch of his tights together — The Dark Crystal is not without its charms. The 1982 film follows the Mystic-raised orphan Jen, the last survivor of the Gelfling race, as he seeks out a shard of a powerful crystal that was damaged 1,000 years ago, ushering the world into an age of chaos. An evil species of lizard-birds known as the Skeksis have ruled Jen’s planet since that time — but if Jen can just find the remaining shard and repair the crystal, perhaps he can restore balance to the universe and bring forth an era of peace. This Friday, January 19, the Arkadin (5228 Gravois Avenue) will host a showing of the film preceded by a Jim Henson Happy Hour that will feature snack and drink specials as well as curated, Muppet-centric entertainment on the big screen. The happy hour is free to attend and runs from 5 to 7 p.m.; The Dark Crystal showing costs $9 to attend and starts at 7:30 p.m. Pick up your tickets at arkadincinema.com. No refunds will be issued due to a dearth of enormous on-screen bulges, so adjust your expectations accordingly.

Jagged Littlle Pill brings Alanis Morissette’s seminal 1995 album to the stage this week at the Fabulous Fox. | VIA MURPHYMADE York Times called the production “redemptive, rousing and real,” and Jagged Little Pill secured two Tony Awards out of a staggering fifteen nominations in 2021. The show opens at the Fox Theatre (527 North Grand Boulevard) on Friday, January 19, and runs through the 21. Showtimes vary by day and tickets start at $30. More info at fabulousfox.com.

SATURDAY 01/20 Isn’t it Iconic? Spill the Tea Named after Alanis Morissette’s seminal 1995 album and penned by Morissette herself, the musical Jagged Little Pill tells the story of the Healy family living their seemingly buttoned-up lives in Connecticut when suddenly they become undone by a hefty dose of reality. The less said about the plot, the better — so as to avoid spoilers, of course — but suffice to say that much of the praise that has been heaped upon the production since it premiered in 2018 has centered on its disposing of the saccharine leanings that so often imbue musicals and instead focusing on harder truths that are relatable to everyday people. How appropriately Gen X. The New

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Sure, the Boston Tea Party was a seminal moment in the birth of the United States of America, a castingoff of the yoke of our British oppressors and their tyrannical taxation sans representation — but you have to admit that it wasn’t a very civilized affair. For all that delicious tea to simply be yeeted into the sea when it could have made for a lovely pairing with some freshbaked crumpets? It’s a crime, quite frankly. And don’t just take our word for it; heed the 18th century Brits, who by all accounts reacted rather poorly to the whole thing. This week, experience the more regal celebration that could have been, had the colonies not been so

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uppity, with the Boston Tea Party Tea Party at the Heritage Museum (1630 Heritage Landing, St. Peters) in St. Charles County. Held some 250 years after the namesake act, this event will feature tastings of all the teas that starred in the historical event, alongside lectures relating to the Revolutionary War. One lucky raffle winner will even take home a basket containing all of those historic teas, to be tossed patriotically into the body of water of their choosing (whether that’s the mighty Mississippi or their favorite coffee mug is up to them). The event kicks off at 10 a.m. on Saturday, January 20, and runs through 4 p.m., and the cost is only $5 per person. Pre-registration is required; attend to that at bit.ly/ stccparks_ticketed-events.

Nice Ice, Baby Winter is a dark time. That’s literal — but it’s also figurative. And once the holiday season has passed and all the festivals that involve lights are done, the gloom can really set in. If your only joy these days is consoling yourself with the knowledge that we’re actually getting incrementally more daylight daily, even if we can’t tell, then it’s time to focus on something else. Might

we suggest the Delmar Loop’s 17th Annual Ice Carnival? The event, which has the puntastic tagline “snow much fun,” promises to extend the holiday season into January, which is something that is sorely needed. This year’s iteration brings more than 50 ice sculptures as well as live music, snowflake ballerinas, hay wagon rides, fire performers, live ice-carving demonstrations and all sorts of additional winter fun to the Loop on Saturday, January 20. As if that wasn’t enough, this year the event is adding an Ice Carnival Drone Show, in which 160 drones will light up the sky in a festive display. The entire event is free to attend, but there’s a $75 VIP viewing area for the drone show at the top of the Moonrise Hotel (6177 Delmar Boulevard) that includes everything from snacks to warm blankets to two free drinks from the bar. The event runs from 11 a.m. to 7 p.m. throughout the Loop. For more details, visit visittheloop.com/events/17th-annualloop-ice-carnival.

Room for Improv-ment Upstart improv troupe Some Black People is finally making its

WEEK OF JANUARY 18-24

Catch artists carving cool creations at the Loop Ice Carnival on Saturday. | REUBEN HEMMER

The Dark Crystal may not feature David Bowie’s crotch, but it has its charms. | POSTER ART

debut at the Improv Shop (3960 Chouteau Avenue). The six-person, all-Black group specializes in long-form improv that brings together what each individual player learned during their time taking classes at the Improv Shop, and according to troupe member Jessica Silas, attendees can expect to see several “realistic pause moments and emotional connections” with “scenes between husbands and wives, brothers and sisters, mothers and sons.” The team consists of Silas, Charles Harris, Brandon Bowers, Kendall Bennett, Donovan Crowder and Aaron Moore. Opening the show will be the notable allies and fellow funnymakers of Touch Baseball. It all goes down this Saturday, January 20, at 8 p.m. Tickets are $12 and can be purchased at theimprovshop.com

WEDNESDAY 01/24 Another Man’s Treasure For the past four months, the Pulitzer Arts Foundation (3716 Washington Avenue) has featured in its modernist concrete halls some of the most beautiful ghosts in a city that’s full of

Saturday’s Boston Tea Party Tea Party will be a decidedly more civilized affair than the event to which it pays tribute. | COSMIN DORDE/FLICKR them. In conjunction with the National Building Arts Center based in Sauget, Illinois, its Urban Archaeology: The Lost Buildings of St. Louis exhibit gives our city’s detritus the attention it deserves, even as it asks important questions about what gets saved and what gets destroyed. Not only is this week one of your

final chances to see this moving exhibit, but it’s also a great opportunity to hear Michael Allen, executive director of the National Building Arts Center, tease out the bigger themes behind the beautiful bric-a-brac on display. In Conversation: Michael Allen and Robert Green features Allen talking with Robert Green,

an artist, activist and owner of Rudo Studio in the St. Louis Place neighborhood who has worked to reclaim historical artifacts honoring the city’s African American population. The conversation takes place on Wednesday, January 24, at 6:30 p.m., and it’s free and open to the public. Details at pulitzerarts.org. n

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CAFE

Curry, Korma and Chhetri At Black Salt, a brilliant chef shows St. Louis the limitless magnificence of upscale Indian cuisine Written by

CHERYL BAEHR Black Salt 1709 Clarkson Road, Chesterfield; 636204-6441. Tues.-Sun. 11 a.m.-2:30 p.m. and 4:30-10 p.m. (Closed Monday.)

ur server at Black Salt did not equivocate. “Get the lamb chops,” he said without hesitation. “The sauce is incredible.” His description, as emphatic as it was, did not fully prepare me for the complete and utter magnificence of this sauce. Described on the menu as a creamy saffron sauce, the orange-yellow liquid, adorned with dots of red chili oil, revealed different layers of flavor with every bite. My first impression was sheer richness, the sauce slicking the tongue with decadent, saffron-infused cream the texture of a perfect lobster bisque. Initially, it felt much like korma, but the warm, almost tangy spices kicked in, giving off the vibe of a tomato-y masala. It filled a large bowl almost to the brim; in the center of the dish sat three lamb chops, cooked to a beautiful medium rare and adorned with fried herbs. The peppery crust on the lamb cut through the creaminess, adding an extra dimension. It’s been several days since I had the chops, and I’m still trying to wrap my head around them. It’s better to give up and just surrender. This is not the first time I’ve been enraptured by the cooking of Madan Chhetri, a brilliant chef who found his way to St. Louis after cooking in northern Virginia, Mumbai, China, Bangalore and Goa. I was initially turned on to his food — and absolutely dazzled — after dining at the South Grand restaurant Basil India, where Chhetri ran the kitchen before

Black Salt’s offerings include a kale and guava salad, pani puri, zafrani lamb chops, lahori murgh, katlama naan and lime soda. | MABEL SUEN

Co-owner Raj Pandey, left, found a partner in chef Madan Chhetri. | MABEL SUEN leaving to help open Black Salt in March of 2023. His partners in the current venture —Raj Pandey and his wife Shweta, and Sanjiv Shekhar — recognized Chhetri’s brilliance and understood that he was the perfect person to help bring their vision to life for an upscale, modern Indian restaurant, something that they felt was missing in

the St. Louis metro area. Though they recognize the many great subcontinental eateries around town, they felt that none quite captured the sleek, upscale vibe in terms of food, cocktails, service and ambiance they were looking for when they searched our restaurants to visit. Black Salt, in their minds, would be that place

— the sort of polished fine-dining eatery where you could go when you wanted to get dressed up, go on a nice date night, have a celebration or impress colleagues. To say they have succeeded is as much an understatement as saying the sauce on the lamb chops is tasty. Since opening last March, Black Salt has garnered acclaim and developed an impressive following; as such, it’s not a sure thing that you will get a table, even on a weekday night. Part of that is the size of the restaurant, which is set inside a Chesterfield strip mall. With little more than 10 or so tables, the space is tiny. The other reason it’s consistently packed is the food and service. The staff is incredibly knowledgeable, with the maître d’, who doubled as our server, helping to explain the restaurant’s many dishes — some of which were unfamiliar to me, as they bucked the standard (albeit delicious) Indian restaurant playbook so often seen around town. His urging to get the lamb is something for which I will owe him a debt of gratitude for the rest of my life. However, his other suggestions

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The salad is tossed in Black Salt’s special guava dressing. | MABEL SUEN

Zafrani lamb chops are served with creamy saffron sauce. | MABEL SUEN

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were also compelling. Palak chaat with mango is such a multidimensional dish, and the perfect way to open the meal, thanks to its electric flavor that lights up the palate. Here, small pieces of shockingly crunchy fried dough are tossed with crispy fried spinach, diced mangoes, tomatoes, onions and herbs, then dressed with a delicate, sweet and tangy sauce akin to a fruit vinaigrette. Soft and crisp, sweet and spicy, tangy and creamy, it hits just about every texture and flavor one could imagine. Another appetizer, the Punjabi samosa, is equally stunning. Similar in form to a typical samosa — plump and purse-shaped, filled with potatoes and peas, and served alongside chutney — Chhetri’s version excels thanks to his execution. The puff-pastry shell is delicate and crispy-flaky, giving the dish a magnificently crunchy and textured exterior. Inside, the potatoes are as fluffy as mashed potatoes, interspersed with peas, coriander and other spices that don’t hit you with heat at first but deliver increasing warmth with each bite. It’s a masterpiece of the form. Though the lamb was the showstopper, it was far from the only outstanding dish. Everything the brilliant Chhetri touches turns to gold. His black lentils, or dal makhani, are revelatory — slowcooked overnight like a decadent porridge. Cream, butter and gently warm spices are added to the mix, making for a stunningly rich, fenugreek-kissed lentil stew that you can spoon over rice, though you might be tempted to chuck decorum to the wind and just pick up

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Pani puri, or crispy fried puffs, are filled with seasoned potato, chickpeas and shallots. | MABEL SUEN the bowl and drink it. Chettinad chicken is another exceptional offering, thanks to the tender meat and perfumed cream sauce made from yogurt and infused with crushed peppercorns and curry leaves. The Lahori murgh, billed as a chef’s specialty, feels adjacent to chicken tikka masala, but with an exclamation point of warm spices and earthiness. It’s one of the best chicken dishes, of any form, that I’ve eaten in recent memory. Chhetri shows he is an expert in goat preparation on the dum goat

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Lucknowi, which features hunks of pot-roast-tender, bone-in goat meat accented with a mouth tingly cardamon-, coriander- and cumin-perfumed sauce that coats each piece and pools at the bottom of the dish. Equally impressive is the Andhra sea bass, which pairs flawlessly cooked buttery fish with a coriander-scented coconut sauce that is positively ambrosial. The fact that I was as dazzled by how well Chhetri cooked the fish as I was by this heavenly sauce speaks volumes about his technical prowess. It’s mind-blowing what Chhetri

can do with food. That is exciting in itself, but what’s even more thrilling is seeing the partners at Black Salt realize he’s not just a talented chef who can make delicious food, but also an anchor for the level of fine Indian dining they are hoping to expose to St. Louis diners. It’s a thrilling prospect — almost as thrilling as that lamb sauce. n

Black Salt Zafrani lamb chops ��$28 Lahori murgh ��$19 Palak chaat with mango ��$12

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SHORT ORDERS [FOOD NEWS]

Porano Pasta Set to Return Gerard Craft announced the new Des Peres restaurant will open in March with ample parking and favorites from the old location Written by

PAULA TREDWAY

orano Pasta (13323 Manchester Road, Des Peres) is making its comeback in March. Niche Food Group’s fastservice restaurant, which shuttered its original downtown St. Louis location in 2018, will be making the move to a shopping center in Des Peres. “We were looking for good locations, good parking in kind of a busy center, and we like the idea of being next to Trader Joe’s,” says Gerard Craft, executive chef and owner of Niche Food Group. Craft says the new location will be near a Crumbl Cookies, St. Louis Bread Co., Chipotle, Starbucks and a fu-

[FOOD NEWS]

Dan Zettwoch’s Square Beyond Compare Imo’s taps a favorite RFT illustrator for its 60th anniversary pizza box Written by

JESSICA ROGEN

mo’s celebrating 60 years is exciting stuff. After all, one cannot even begin to talk about St. Louis food without mentioning the most St. Louis food of them all: cracker-thin pizza topped with the outrageously melty “cheese” that is Provel. And Imo’s is the most St. Louis-style pizza of all the various St. Louis-style pizzas in town, even if the honor of inventing

Niche Food Group is reopening Porano Pasta in Des Peres in March 2024. | COURTESY PHOTO ture Shake Shack. At the new Porano, diners will be able to customize bowls of pasta or salad from a menu or craft their own creations from an abundance of carbs, vegetables, proteins and other toppings. “The customization, all the ingredients and all the menu items are the same,” Craft says. “But you won’t go down the same kind of assembly line like at Chipotle anymore. People will order face-toface with somebody at a register or at kiosks. I think everybody’s gotten a lot more comfortable ordering like that these days. It’s it probably goes elsewhere, like Monte Bello (which is also extremely great). So we were delighted in the RFT office to hear about this special Imo’s anniversary — St. Louis natives and those who have grown to love this strange food alike — but we were possibly even more psyched to see Imo’s tap an illustrator who has drawn many a cover for us over the years to celebrate it. Starting now, if you order a pie, it will be delivered in a commemorative box designed by Dan Zettwoch, who is known for his infographic-style drawings full of fun details that have you noticing new things every time you look at them. The box depicts an Imo’s store, naturally, but also includes many other St. Louis references. There’s the Arch getting built with the help of a square slice and a t-rav, a reference to the first Imo’s Pizza Parlor at the corner of Thurman and Shaw, a Tower Grove Park pavilion peeking in from a corner, the city’s skyline, its baseball stadium and more. “As I was researching this project, I

also a lot more efficient for us. By not having all that food sitting out and exposed to the elements, that allows us to keep everything a little fresher.” Ryan Hux, a fast-food veteran of both Shake Shack and Raising Cane’s, and Dakota Williams, a former Porano employee turned executive chef around St. Louis, will run the new Porano kitchen. So far, the news of the soon-toreopen Porano has been met with elation — including from those close to the operation. “I’m very excited,” Craft says. “Before we closed, I made myself

St. Louis illustrator Dan Zettwoch designed Imo’s commemorative pizza box. | COURTESY PHOTO loved making connections about the contemporary mid-60s history and design in St. Louis,” Zettwoch said in a statement.

six bowls to put in my fridge to ration them to myself. I know I can make all these things, but at the end of the day it was so convenient, even for me, because all these little things that you add to your bowls there, you can’t really do that shit at home. I personally love getting a bowl full of roasted vegetables and rice and stuff like that.” Craft says the original Porano closed its doors in 2018 due to a mixture of things. “We had an agreement with our landlord for a 10-year lease, but after 2 years if we wanted to get out, we could, and so we had to make the decision whether or not we were going to keep it for the long haul,” he says. “Locationwise, it didn’t have any parking. It was great for lunch [downtown] because a lot of people just worked right there. But I think Porana’s fast-casual and convenient food, if you don’t work right there, it’s not very convenient if you can’t just get in and get out.” Keeping all that in mind, Niche Food Group hopes to open two more locations in the next two years, and Craft says they are currently looking at the Richmond Heights and Brentwood areas as possible neighborhoods. n The Des Peres location’s tentative hours will be 11 a.m. to 8 p.m. daily. “As Imo’s was opening its first location, the Cardinals won the World Series and had their last season in Sportsman’s Park as Busch Stadium II was being built. At the same time, the Arch was under construction, forever changing the St. Louis skyline. Imo’s is a part of our city’s rich history, and I was honored to create a box for my favorite pizza!” Nichole Carpenter, director of marketing, said those St. Louis touches were the point of the project: “Imo’s is a part of St. Louis history, and we’re excited to honor the community that has supported us all these years.” That celebration is not limited to a really cool pizza box. The chain will be running specials throughout the year. The first is a two-topping, 16-inch pie for $19.64 — a tribute to its founding in 1964. If you are a St. Louis expat ruing your departure from the city right now, know that you have some options. Fancy fooddelivery service Goldbelly will ship Imo’s straight to your door. n

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RIVERFRONT TIMES

[FOOD NEWS]

Telva at the Ridge Opens From the owners of Balkan Treat Box, the restaurant and coffeeshop is located within Webster Groves’ Rolling Ridge Nursery Written by

JESSICA ROGEN

ans of the beloved Bosnian daytime spot Balkan Treat Box have much to celebrate. The Nalic family has opened their second concept, Telva at the Ridge (60 North Gore Avenue, Webster Groves). A counter-service cafe and coffee shop, Telva is located within Rolling Ridge Nursery and sells roasted coffee, salad, soup, pastries, tartines and more. “Our menu is our take on traditional Balkan baked goods along with some fun savory options of open-faced sandwiches, salads,

and more,” co-owner and chef Loryn Nalic said in a statement. “We really want to offer something unique to the St. Louis community, and with our grand opening, we will also be introducing our wood-fired Bosnian coffee program for the first time.” Menu items include the cilbir, or Turkish eggs, served in garlic yogurt, tomato-chile brown butter and herbs; the Sloppy Mustafa, a spin on moussaka/sloppy Joe; Telva Avocado Toast, featuring everything from roasted tomato to tzatziki; and the Tikva Salata, a salad with greens, feta, roasted squash, dates and more. There is also a selection of rotating pastries, including items like the cinnamon tahini bun or the potivica, a hand-pulled dough flavored with chocolate that is similar to babka. “Even though these might not be breakfast and lunch items that people have seen before, all the flavors are comforting and familiar, and we’re doing them in our own way,” Nalic said. Telva is distinguished by its wood-fired coffee program, headed by Emir Nalic. He’ll serve flavored lattes inspired by Balkan pastries, such as the cupavac latte, which takes after a coconut cake. The traditional specialty coffee is brewed single-serve in copper

Telva will feature an array of Turkish pastries and toasts. | SPENCER PERNIKOFF pots and the grounds are boiled, which makes for a strong brew. It’s served with sugar cubes. The coffee is also the origin of the name Telva, which means the grounds left at the bottom of the cup, which can be used for fortune telling. The 2,800-square-foot space has room for 25 seats indoors and an addition 30 on an outdoor patio.

[FIRST SIP]

A Delicious Duet Luvwoo Bar brings creative cocktails and desserts to Creve Coeur Written by

AMANDA BRETZ This story was originally published in Sauce Magazine.

uvwoo Bar opened late last year at 12965 Olive Boulevard in Creve Coeur. Owned by spouses Zyi Li and Jenny Wu, the establishment serves cocktails, mocktails, desserts and hosts live music. Both owners are musicians, Li a saxophonist and Wu a violinist, and opened the business because of their experience playing at various venues around St. Louis. Not only did Li believe he could open a place for area musicians to reach new listeners, but he also envisioned the space as a home for all artists to find a place for their work. “I saw that there was a need for places for live music and a true artist’s venue to express creativity,” Li says.

RIVERFRONT TIMES

Luvwoo Bar, now open in Creve Coeur, is owned by musicians Zyi Li and Jenny Wu. | COURTESY PHOTO The space offers an intimate setting for its guests, with seating for 35, and white walls, tables and chairs that Li views as lending an open, inviting and almost art gallery-like feel to the bar. Although the couple are musicians and feature area musicians, Li sees opportunities to infuse creativity throughout the space. Each month, artwork from a different local artist is featured on the walls at Luvwoo, a TV shares the images captured by local drone photographers and each month the poems of area poets have a place on the bar menu. “I wanted the atmosphere to be similar to how open mics are diverse, where you can view performances from poets,

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musicians, magicians or stand-up comedians,” Li says of the dynamic. And an evening out taking in entertainment and art wouldn’t be complete without some food and drink. While there isn’t a kitchen on-site, guests can order food to be delivered from area eateries including Ocha and Bombay Food Junkies. Guests can find wine, local craft beer and classic cocktails including daiquiris, whiskey sours and Old-Fashioneds, but the main focus at Luvwoo Bar is unique cocktails, mocktails and desserts. The sweets are made by Jade Lee, owner of Cake by Jade, who created a dessert menu to complement the drink program. Some of those desserts include an Earl

The space, designed by Sara Tran and Tim Kent, features hardwood floors, turquoise walls and plentiful greenery. Telva also includes an events space that can be booked for up to 80 guests. n Telva is open from 8 a.m. to 3 p.m. Tuesday through Saturday and 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. Sunday. Grey cheesecake and matcha-misu, a twist on tiramisu, made with matcha. Wu studied mixology for more than a year prior to the bar’s opening and she has developed the drink menu to be an experience that guests might not find elsewhere in St. Louis. “I want to break boundaries and play with flavors,” Wu says of the drinks. Craft cocktails include the Yellow Butterfly, combining vodka and white chocolate cream liqueur, along with a number of flavors such as passion fruit puree, a housemade pepper syrup garnished with an edible yellow butterfly, which was created by bar manager Ale Cuervo. One of Wu’s notable cocktails is called the Secret Garden, made with a few spirits including vodka and Frangelico, matcha and oat milk, presented with an edible “garden” made from Oreo crumbs to represent dirt, edible flowers and raspberries. Guests also have the option to pair this beverage with the matcha-misu dessert. The non-alcoholic offerings are just as thoughtful and creative, and include the Floral Lagoon, made with housemade floral syrup, lemonade and club soda, as well as the Lavender Dream, which combines housemade lavender syrup, cream, lemon and lime juice, egg white and club soda and a lavender flower garnish. “Food and beverage is an art in itself, and I want to create drinks that represent that,” Wu says. n

[FOOD NEWS]

‘Eat Good, Feel Good’ At Florissant’s Big Belly Deli, lifelong friends Chris Timmermann and Nick Boyd serve up sandwiches fueled by a passion for feeding others Written by

AMANDA BRETZ This story was originally published in Sauce Magazine.

here’s a new spot to get a sandwich in Florissant called Big Belly Deli, located at 392 St. Ferdinand Street, next to Helfer’s Pastries. Lifelong friends and now business partners Chris Timmermann and Nick Boyd opened the deli last month. The owners bring a passion for feeding others, along with distinct backgrounds, to the business, with Boyd’s experience in nonprofit community farming, and Timmermann working in a variety of jobs in the hospitality industry. Timmermann studied hospitality and restaurant administration at Missouri State University and, after graduation, headed west, where he landed a manager-in-training position at Nikko Hotel in San Francisco. He credits the experience with helping shape his future and, looking back, views the nearly year and half he spent there as a transformative learn-

Big Belly Deli co-owners Chris Timmermann and Nick Boyd bring unique skill sets to the business: nonprofit community farming and hospitality. | COURTESY PHOTO ing experience. “I’m forever indebted to the people at Nikko Hotel for everything they taught me,” Timmermann says. After his time at the hotel, Timmermann opened more than 20 restaurants for Hawaiian Bros. Island Grill before returning home and helping revamp the menu at Henke’s Tavern, which he says helped him gain a local following. Eighteen months ago, Timmermann and Boyd started their venture toward opening their own restaurant, and it was during their search for a bakery to partner with that they were offered the opportu-

nity by Helfer’s to open in the establishment’s former deli space. The two-story building Big Belly Deli now occupies features two ADA accessible tables on the lower level, with seating for just over 30 upstairs in the main dining area. When it comes to the eatery’s decor, that’s still unfolding, as Boyd and Timmermann aim to support local schools by displaying jerseys and photos of area sports teams. “We’re trying to build a family atmosphere,” says Timmermann. “We’re both proud to be born and raised in Florissant and we’re here

places take the form to a transcendent level.

sider the best around. Fior di latte and pecorino add richness, but the key to this pie is the Calabrian chile-infused hot honey drizzle that mingles with the deeply savory meat and vibrant sauce to form an otherworldly spicysweet rich flavor.

CHERYL BAEHR’S

Pie Guy Pizza Owner Mitch Frost’s painstaking pizza R&D resulted in the New York-style pie at Pie Guy Pizza (4189 Manchester Avenue), which is characterized by a thin layer of crispness that yields to soft dough, similar to a perfectly griddled piece of Texas toast. It’s a stunning canvas for molten cheese and garlicky pepperoni that is so fatty, it’s equal parts white and red.

In a sea of incredible Neapolitan-style Margheritas, New Haven-inspired white clam pies or even a good ol’ cracker square with Provel, the classic pepperoni slice remains the quintessence of American pizza. Even a cheesy, grease-slicked slice from the gas station can get the job done surprisingly well, but these five

O+O Pizza Though it’s difficult to order anything other than the eggplant Parmesan at O+O Pizza (102 West Lockwood Avenue, Webster Groves), the pepperoni pies make a good argument for branching out. Here, sauce and crust are beautiful vehicles for small discs of Ezzo pepperoni, a fatty paprika- and garlic-forward version of the ubiquitous pizza sausage that many con-

PEPPERONI PIZZA PICKS

Union Loafers You’d expect nothing less than crust perfection from a bread bakery as renowned as Union Loafers (1629 Tower Grove Avenue), and Ted Wilson and company do not disappoint. You could eat this soft, chewy masterpiece plain and still be happy, but why do that when you can have it covered in piquant tomato sauce, mozzarella and grana padano cheese, pepperoni, fresh herbs and — the show stealer — Calabrian chiles that cut through the pizza’s richness with vibrant heat. 1929 Pizza & Wine The magnificent wood-fired pies at 1929 Pizza & Wine (7 North Wood Riv-

for the long haul.” The sandwiches are available on a variety of breads, all baked at Helfer’s, including Italian, marble rye and croissants, but the featured style is called Dutch crunch, a type of bread Timmermann discovered during his time in San Francisco. This Bay Area staple is made using white flour that is topped with rice flour, which gives the top a golden, crackled appearance that also features a slight crunch. Some of the deli sandwiches on the menu include the signature Big Belly, a hearty sandwich made with turkey, bacon, soppressata and ham, that the owners say embodies the eatery’s motto of “eat good, feel good.” Boyd explains that the CBR, which stands for chicken, bacon, ranch, served with an optional hot honey sauce, is poised to be the “silent sleeper” of the sandwich selections. Another standout on the menu is the St. Louis cheesesteak, made with thinly sliced rib-eye, sauteed mushrooms, onion, bell and poblano peppers, served with housemade Provel cheese whiz on Dutch crunch bread. For vegetarians, there’s also the Green Goddess, served on Dutch crunch bread and featuring feta, green goddess dressing, avocado, spinach, cucumber, tomato and red onion. Guests can find a breakfast sandwich made with a choice of ham, turkey, bacon or sausage and an egg on a croissant, or a breakfast burrito made with a choice of meat and scrambled egg wrapped in a flour tortilla. In addition to the sandwiches, there’s also Caesar, chef and house salads to choose from and rotating soup flavors, available in a bowl or cup. To complete the meal selections, the deli offers desserts, including cookies, gooey butter cake, assorted pastries and a rotating cheesecake flavor. n

er Avenue, Wood River, Illinois) feature an outstanding crust that is slightly fluffier than a traditional Neapolitan pizza but infused with a wood char that gives every bite a lovely earthiness. For its pepperoni version, the restaurant uses large rounds of the garlicky sausage that are sliced prosciutto thin, allowing them to curl up at the edges when heated, even as they stay impossibly tender. Coupled with the housemade mozzarella, this adds a significant goo factor that is positively decadent. La Pizza The only acceptable slice for many New York expats, the iconic La Pizza (8137 Delmar Boulevard, University City) is the embodiment of the quintessential Big Apple slice. This is as classic as it comes: zesty sauce, melted greasy cheese and a generous smattering of paprika- and garlic-forward pepperoni rounds, all on a slice that can be folded and eaten off a paper plate, as God intended. n

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JANUARY 17-23, 2024

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REEFERFRONT TIMES

[REVIEW]

Just Crumbs Cookies’ Cookies flower has gone stale, but the iconic brand’s Red Light preroll has crunch Written by

GRAHAM TOKER

s 2024 is getting started, there is a renewed sense of anticipation, and it’s exciting to think about the year ahead reviewing weed for you, dear reader. It makes sense to start with a company that has evaded my review radar, unintentionally, so it’s a great time to kick off the new Gregorian calendar with a visit to the big blue machine: Cookies. Co-founded by Bay Area rapper Berner, the Cookies brand has been at the forefront of bringing the plant mainstream. Now worth more than a billion dollars, the brand operates like a well-oiled engine, pushing out a variety of flower cultivars and merchandise packaged in its trademark blue hue. When Missouri got medical, Cookies partnered up with 3Fifteen Primo Cannabis to have its goods sold out of the dispensary’s former storefront in Florissant. I’d visited a Cookies location in Las Vegas and the Missouri Cookies store when it was medical only. With recreational now going strong, I was excited to check out some classic Cookies strains and see what merchandise was around. My optimism started to ebb drastically when I looked at Cookies’ online store. It didn’t appear to stock as robust of a flower selection compared to my last visit, which is not necessarily a bad thing. But I didn’t see some of the stalwarts of the Cookies genetic lineup, such as Gary Payton. “Maybe there is some new stuff the brand is excited about, so they’re rotating out the older cultivars,” I thought. With that in mind, I scrolled through the options online and settled on an eighth of its namesake strain, Cookies, and a preroll of something new to me: Red Light, a nod to Amsterdam’s infamous dis-

Cookies’ namesake strain is relentlessly old school in everything from its scent to its potency, and that’s not always a good thing. | GRAHAM TOKER trict. Part of my decision making, I hate to admit, was based around THC percentage. I noticed a lot of the Cookies flower seemed to be lower in THC than what other local dispensaries offer. This isn’t an issue if the flower is smoked close to the harvest and cure time, but it’s hard to say with Missouri’s regulations how old the flower is. I placed an order online and traversed north to my designated pickup window. The Cookies store feels like a compound since it’s surrounded by a wire fence, but it has a good location that’s easily accessible off I-270. I passed my ID and medical card through the drive-through window, and less than five minutes later, I was on my way. For the eighth of flower and preroll, I paid $67.04, and I didn’t incur the rec tax on the bill. A throwback taste to its origins, the Cookies strain is made up of OG Kush x Durban Poison x Cherry Kush. When I opened the bag, I got a whiff of that nostalgic “cookies” aroma, which sent me back to the early 2010s, minus the ziploc bag. It’s not something I have smelled a lot recently, with my strong prefer-

ence for Z and candy terps. It even has a different scent than the Gas and OG strains — more of a savory mouthfeel with an herbal twinge. I broke down the flower to roll a joint, and the smoke didn’t have quite the same terpene punch that it did on the nose. The effects post-joint were mild. I came back inside and tried to give the weed time to ramp up. It did not. As I continued to watch YouTube videos, the thought of “should I smoke another one?” kept creeping into my head. “No, I’ll just ride this one out,” I thought to myself. Moments later, I was hovering over my rolling tray preparing a second joint. But the second joint did not alleviate my concerns that I needed another joint. Before I opted into a third, I called it a night. Maybe I caught the flower on a bad day or something, so I decided to try the Red Light one-gram preroll. The Amsterdam-inspired strain consists of Cookies & Cream crossed with Secret Weapon. I wasn’t expecting a lot based on my previous session. I got a whiff of a faint berry scent on the nose, which translated mildly to

the smoke as the preroll burned down. A nice oil ring formed as I made my way down the joint, and the preroll had a faint white ash. The Red Light hit me with a mild mind high and a medium body high. There was no internal debate to smoke another joint shortly thereafter, so I chalked Red Light up as a win. I circled back to the bag of Cookies flower, which made two more additional joints. The first one I smoked while walking my dog and the second one after a long day of work. Similar to my first experience, the dog-walking joint never fully took off. The final one was better: I was able to chill on the couch after work but also still get up to do some other things. For me, Cookies’ effects weren’t helpful and didn’t alleviate my aches and pains, and the flat cerebral effects didn’t make it more interesting. If I had to recommend the Cookies flower, it would be for when your uncle who used to smoke in high school comes to town. While he’s zooted on the Cookies, you can smoke the Red Light or some headstash. n

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RIVERFRONT TIMES

CULTURE

[ I N C O N V E R S AT I O N ]

A Life Full of Color Celebrated up-and-coming artist Dominic Chambers returns home for Birthplace, an exhibit inspired by his Hazelwood roots Written by

ANGELO VIDAL

ven as a child, St. Louis native Dominic Chambers felt a burgeoning desire to make art. In school, he spent countless hours challenging classmates to drawing competitions. Still, the Hazelwood East alumnus didn’t plan on an art career or even on going to college until his high school girlfriend dealt him an ultimatum: Go to college or we’re breaking up. So he enrolled in art courses at St. Louis Community College - Florissant Valley and never looked back. Ten years later, Chambers is a Yale MFA graduate whose solo exhibitions have appeared in galleries across the globe, and in 2021, he made Forbes’ 30 Under 30 list as one of the most promising artists of his generation. His latest exhibit, Birthplace, is on display at the Contemporary Art Museum St. Louis (3750 Washington Boulevard, camstl.org) through Sunday, February 11. An homage to St. Louis and the spaces that nurtured Chambers’ creativity, the exhibition features places important to the artist’s development: classrooms, libraries, playgrounds and Art Hill. Chambers is returning to St. Louis for an artist talk at CAM from 6 to 7 p.m. on Thursday, January 18. In advance of his return, the RFT spoke with the artist by video call about his journey and what it means to come home. This conversation has been edited for length and clarity. Is it true Birthplace is the first exhibit your family’s been able to see in person since you left St.

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Dominic Chambers, Something Came to Me, 2019. | COURTESY OF THE ARTIST AND LEHMANN MAUPIN, NEW YORK, HONG KONG, SEOUL, AND LONDON Louis 10 years ago? Yeah man, it’s very surreal. One of the double-edged swords of being an artist with an aggressive career is that you travel quite a bit, and my entire family is in St. Louis and unfortunately doesn’t have the resources to do a lot of traveling. That was oftentimes my experience growing up, too. We were quite poor, like many people in the inner city, especially in the northern part where I’m from. Then we talk about the Black body’s relationship to art museums and galleries that didn’t really function as inviting events for my family in a lot of ways. It’s hard. I think a lot of Black people, we struggle with, “How do we navigate those spaces? Are we welcome in those spaces?” So being able to bring work home to them meant quite a bit because this would be their first time seeing the paintings outside of Facebook or Instagram. Has time and distance away changed the way you think about home? Oh, absolutely. Like with most things in life, time is the greatest teacher of perspective. I’ve developed a stronger appreciation for

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St. Louis having been away from it. Ten years was significant for me. The loss of my mother happened in those 10 years. I lost my brother. All of those things bring not only my own mortality into sharper focus, but also make me really proud to be from St. Louis. I feel that if you can survive in St. Louis, you can thrive anywhere. It kind of gives you, just in the cultural fabric of the city, this resilience to endure. That has been my saving grace as I navigated the art world and spaces like Yale. Looking at your painting Art Hill, I got lost in my own memories there and how they’ve shaped me. There’s a universality to memory that makes Birthplace ripe for projection by the viewer. Is that intentional? I would say so for sure. Art Hill was born out of a memory in which I was on a field trip to the Saint Louis Art Museum, and on one such day, there were people flying kites. I remember thinking, “Wow, it’s so incredible to see these shards of color in the sky outside of this mausoleum for art objects.” When I painted that image, it was an attempt to spark the viewer to recall a memory of

wonder, to see a museum and recognize it isn’t just an architectural structure that houses a particular thing. It’s an architectural structure that lives amongst the community of people that live there. The beautiful thing about our Saint Louis Art Museum is that it’s housed within Forest Park, this lush landscape of green where you can see extraordinary things or leisurely activities happening all the time. I love that dichotomy and the relationship between the space, community and structures that live there. How does your love for literature and literary themes and narratives translate into the visual elements of your paintings? When it comes to a lot of the writers that I appreciate, you know, James Baldwin, W.E.B. Du Bois, Octavia Butler, Zora Neale Hurston, what I found in common with them stems from my love of magical realism, a genre that is an acknowledgement of magic within the rational world. For example, how a Black subject navigates the world and the things we’re likely to experience psychologically or physically oftentimes aren’t be-

Dominic Chambers is excited that his family can finally see his work in person. | TYLER SMALLS/CAM lieved or accepted. They’d be like, “Oh, you’re just imagining that,” but we know we’re not imagining that. We understand that there’s a distinction between how we’re engaging with reality. James Baldwin echoed that sentiment. So that’s where the surreal and the uncanny start to twinkle into our everyday experiences. In painting, I think we need to pay attention to this. When you walk into a bookstore or library, what section do you gravitate toward? Fiction, easy. In a heartbeat. It’s either fiction, essays or poetry. I almost never go to nonfiction. I watch the news enough. I’m depressed enough, and oftentimes, when you’re reading someone’s memoir, it’s some dark shit in there. That is all well and good, but I like those with a whimsical imagination. The majority of your art portrays Black figures in moments of rest, rejecting the notion that Black bodies must be engaged in labor or resistance to be validated. How does this artistic philosophy manifest in your personal life? It’s one philosophy that I’m constantly negotiating. We are all subjects of capitalism, right? It’s impor-

tant to recognize that as a force that is impacting all of our lives. Black subjects, our bodies are capital, and it’s quite useful for building wealth for any number of people, both historically and currently. That being said, I try to recognize the extraordinary privilege it is to be able to live each day and to engage with a life that’s full of color. I want to make sure that when I’m caught up in the demands that society imposes on me, I recognize those who have come before me have fought to get me into a space where I can take more time. How do you define success as an artist? The ability to be engaged in conversation. You make your work to be in conversation with people. For someone to say, “I feel you on this,” or “I find this interesting,” and sit down and talk with you about a painting as the medium for that conversation. I hope that never goes away because I think it keeps us all rich. n Birthplace will be open at CAM through Sunday, February 11, and is free to attend. The museum is open 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Wednesday through Sunday. To register for Chambers’ artist talk, visit camstl.org/event/artist-talk-dominicchambers.

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MUSIC

[JAZZ]

Back on the A Train Nearly four decades after first seeing the Harlem Globetrotters, Steve Leftridge finds himself whistling a familiar tune Written by

STEVE LEFTRIDGE

he first record I ever owned was a 45 rpm single of “Sweet Georgia Brown,” the infectious whistling, bones-clacking jazz instrumental originally recorded by Brother Bones and His Shadows in 1949. We’re not talking with-my-own-money owned: I was six years old at the time, so the single was delivered overnight by the Easter Bunny, of all things, the vinyl record nestled into my Easter basket amid shredded-plastic grass and jelly beans. Not that I was a kindergartner particularly taken with Trumanera jazz standards. No, like millions of other kids, I was drawn to “Sweet Georgia Brown” for its repopularization throughout the ’70s and ’80s as the official theme song of the Harlem Globetrotters. The legendary comic exhibition basketball squad started using “Sweet Georgia Brown” as its theme song back in 1952, but by the 1970s, the Globetrotters were all over television, and with a monoculture of just three network channels, the team and their theme song were inescapable. The Globetrotters showed up on variety shows like Donnie & Marie in 1976, playing keep-away from Donny Osmond while his sister Marie looked on laughing. The team cameoed on The White Shadow in ’79, doing Coach Reed a favor by showing up at practice to kick the asses of his too-cocky Carver High players. The Globetrotters landed on Gilligan’s Island in ’81 and set sail on The Love Boat in ’84. As with any kid-friendly sensation in the ’70s, the Globetrotters

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The Harlem Globetrotters are flying high as ever these days. | SHUTTERSTOCK also got their own animated series. It’s impossible to explain to today’s kids the cripplingly crucial importance of Saturday morning cartoons in the time before cable television, when the networks dedicated just one five-hour block per week to airing cartoons. The Trotters got their turn with Harlem Globetrotters in 1970-71 (repeated in ’78), featuring the voice of Scatman Crothers, explaining why head Trotter Meadowlark Lemon sounded exactly like Hong Kong Phooey. The live action Harlem Globetrotters Popcorn Machine from ’74-’75 featured bizarre comedy skits of the Trotters acting out spoofs of fairy tales. My favorite was The Super Globetrotters, which ran for a single season in 1979 and featured the Trotters as superheroes, including Sweet Lou Dunbar, who could pull gadgets out of his massive afro, and Twiggy Sanders, whose appendages were made of spaghetti. Most important to me were their annual spots on ABC’s Wide World of Sports starting in 1973. Between other sports segments depicting various thrills of victory and the agonies of defeat, we’d get live performances of the Globetrotters on the court in all of

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their star-spangled, ball-twirling, alley-ooping, trick-shot wizardry, whipping up on the Washington Generals with three-man weaves, acrobatic ball-handling stunts and comical hijinks, performed, for instance, at Attica prison in ’76, Walt Disney World in ’82 and Kansas City (!) in ’86. My parents took me to see the Globetrotters live when I was five in Springfield, Missouri, and while these days the Globetrotters split into two or three different squads that perform in multiple cities on the same day, back in the old days you were guaranteed to get the team’s superstars — Meadowlark Lemon, Curly Neal, Geese Ausbie, Nate Branch and others. The affably bald Neal was the fan favorite with his knee-sliding dribbling routines, but the charismatic Lemon was the indisputable leader, the “Clown Prince” of the Globetrotters, who sank his trademark half-court hookshot the night we saw him. By the time I was 11, I was obsessed. I had the posters, the redwhite-and-blue basketball, the sweatbands and the headband, which I wore around my neck like Billy Ray Hobley. I ran dunks on my Nerf hoop pretending I was

Robert “Baby Face” Paige. I tried to roll the ball down my arms and over my shoulders like Osborne Lockhart. I spun the ball on my finger, slapping it to keep it going like Gator Rivers. So of course I needed my own copy of “Sweet Georgia Brown.” How else was I to effectively practice the amazing ballhandling skills the Trotters displayed during their famous Magic Circle routines as the song played? Moments after the Easter Basket surprise, I put “Sweet Georgia Brown” on the family stereo console, grabbed my Globetrotters basketball and formed a two-man Magic Circle with my older brother Shane in the living room. When the song started, I flew into action, slapping the ball from palm to palm, back and forth, as fast as I could, at which point Shane informed me that I wasn’t really doing anything with the basketball. I told him that he wasn’t doing anything with his own stupid balls because he was a big stupidhead, which left me with my basketball and my new record as a solitary Magic Circle of one. Later that year, the Globetrotters returned to Springfield. In the days ahead of the game, I bragged to my friend Keith at school that I

zling alley-oop although the team

Like millions of has also registered a trademark for its four-point line, a full 30feet from the rim, and Winston other kids, I was drained a few of them throughout the game. Bulldog Mack hit drawn to “Sweet a two-handed over-the-shoulder from past half-court. Torch Georgia Brown” as shot George, one of three current feTrotters, antagonized the the official theme male pursuing Generals with a series of tumble dribbles. song of the Harlem between-the-leg But the comedy never stopped, and neither did the game clock, Globetrotters. even during the gag-filled interhad front row seats. Courtside for the Globetrotters! Some of us are just special. I’m practically part of the team! The night of the event, as my family climbed and climbed up hundreds of steps to the rafters of the 300 level of the arena, I came humiliatingly face to face with Keith, sitting with his dad in the same nosebleed section that I was. Earlier this month, in a full magic circle moment, I took my own son to see the Globetrotters at Enterprise Center in downtown St. Louis, the first time I’d seen them in almost four decades. And this time, thanks to my media credentials, I really was courtside for the game. What has not changed is that a Globetrotters game is still a ridiculously entertaining affair — funny, exciting, sweet, athletically impressive — with more charmingly silly comedy routines and high-flying action than ever. The Magic Circle was a thrill — especially the work of tricksters Jet Rivers and Too Tall Winston — performed to a remixed, hip-hop-modulated version of “Sweet Georgia Brown.” I had a Pavlovian response to the song and found myself breaking out my old moves at my seat with a phantom basketball. The old water bucket and confetti gag is still going, you’ll be glad to know, this time with Rivers chasing X-Over (pronounced “Crossover”), one of two dwarf members of the current squad, around the arena. Spider Sharpless had one of the day’s most crowd-pleasing bits, slipping on a Spiderman mask and climbing to the top of one of the backboards before somersaulting back down to earth. Much of the actual game play takes place above the rim — nearly every Trotters basket is a daz-

ludes. Head showman Mack led a dance routine to Whitney Houston’s “I Will Always Love You” with a good-spirited fellow from the crowd. A mini-hoop was rolled out during a fast break so X-Over could get a dunk in. A 10-yearold “superfan” from the audience outfitted with his own Globetrotters jersey hit a layup and learned dance moves from the Trotters. The team challenged an official’s call by acting out the previous play in reverse and then again in slow-motion, a clever bit. I saw the afternoon matinee, and it wasn’t lost on me that the date was January 6th. With that date in mind and with all the stars and stripes and patriotic colors — a Globetrotters tradition — in the crowd, I found myself worrying that the masses would storm the court and attack the scorers table to keep officials from certifying the score if the Globetrotters didn’t win. And the Trotters made it uncomfortably close. In the old days, they ran up the score on the hapless Generals; on this outing, they manufactured a buzzer-beater to let the Trotters win by two on a last-second power slam by Hi-Rise Mitchell. No insurrection needed; this throwback act wins fair and square. Throughout the event, the merchandise table sold hundreds of youth-sized Globetrotters basketballs, and after the game the concourse was filled with little kids frantically dribbling all over the place, attempting under-theleg moves and behind-the-back tosses. It was all I could do to keep from stealing a ball to see if I could still spin it on my finger and roll it down my arms. But I held off, heroically, settling instead for whistling “Sweet Georgia Brown” into the parking lot with my son. Will the Magic Circle be unbroken? n

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FILM [REVIEW]

He Sees Dead Parents All of Us Strangers is a ghost story and a love story, but a jarring ending spoils its twin promises Written by

CLIFF FROEHLICH All of Us Strangers Directed by Andrew Haigh. Written by Andrew Haigh, based on a novel by Taichi Yamada. Opens January 18 in select theaters.

n its entwining of a love story and a ghost story, Andrew Haigh’s All of Us Strangers is scarcely without precedent, with forebears including The Ghost and Mrs. Muir, Truly, Madly, Deeply and, of course, Ghost. Those films, however, involved romances between the living and the dead, with all of the inevitable complications. All of Us Strangers instead takes an oddly bifurcated approach, with the movie toggling between the developing relationship between Adam (Andrew Scott) and Harry (Paul Mescal) and Adam’s visits with the spirits of his long-dead parents (Claire Foy and Jamie Bell). Although the two plotlines eventually converge — with unexpectedly tragic results — All of Us Strangers often plays like two distinct films, with Adam serving as the thinnest of connecting threads. A writer struggling with a semiautobiographical screenplay, Adam lives in London but seldom ventures from the dark, enveloping cocoon of his apartment, which is situated in a recently opened tower that remains weirdly depopulated. In fact, the building’s only other resident appears to be Harry, who initially glimpses Adam framed in his upper-story window from the sidewalk below. Having somehow intuited from that fleeting look that Adam is gay, Harry later shows up, outlandishly drunk if charmingly convivial, at the writer’s door. Reserved and wary, Adam gently

Jamie Bell and Claire Foy play the ghosts of Adam’s past. | CHRIS HARRIS, COURTESY SEARCHLIGHT PICTURES rebuffs this first approach, but the next day, when a sober Harry returns to offer an apology, a mutual attraction becomes clear. The extroverted Harry even manages to coax Adam from his solitary, ascetic existence for a night out at a gay dance club, which helps loosen the tight bonds that constrain him. As the men’s connection strengthens, they share not just sex but real intimacies, with Adam opening up about a particularly shattering, life-altering event: his parents’ death from a car crash 30 years before. For those familiar with Haigh’s filmography, this strand of All of Us Strangers’ story will evoke memories of the writer-director’s breakthrough work, Weekend (2011), which traces a brief but intense romance between two similarly contrasting men over the course of several days. Haigh essentially grafts a variant of Weekend’s narrative onto his new film’s source, Japanese writer Taichi Yamada’s Strangers (1987), which focused exclusively on ghostly doings with no romantic elements. Although the Adam-Harry plot avoids simply recapitulating Weekend — and the deepening relationship is deftly rendered by the filmmaker and the actors — All of Us Strangers on occasion comes perilously close to self-plagiarism. Fortunately, the film’s parallel story — Adam’s discovery of Dad’s and Mum’s ghosts — proves not only more original but also far more compelling. In an effort to unblock his writing, Adam attempts to reconnect with his past

Adam attempts to reconnect with his past by traveling to his childhood home. He succeeds beyond any realistic measure when he encounters his father, exactly the age he was before death. by traveling to his childhood home in the suburbs. He succeeds beyond any realistic measure when he encounters his father, exactly the age he was before death, in the field behind their old residence. (In a disconcerting bit of misdirection, it at first appears as though the figure Adam sees at a distance is trying to hook up with him.) Adam accepts this supernatural occurrence with surprising equanimity and understandable joy, and after this initial visit, he embarks on regular journeys to his former home to talk with his ageless parents, who continue to “live” in surroundings entirely unchanged since their deaths. Adam’s conversations with

Mum and Dad, both singly and together, comprise the emotional core of All of Us Strangers. Although delighted to see their adult son — who’s now essentially their “age” — they also worry that Adam will end up lonely and unfulfilled when he reveals that he’s gay. Reflecting the attitudes extant at the time of their deaths, when AIDS was still an irrevocable death warrant, and unaware of subsequent societal changes, Mum and Dad (especially Mum) struggle to accept Adam’s sexual identity. Given Adam’s solitude at the film’s outset, his parents are perhaps right to fret over his romantic prospects, but his growing relationship with Harry offers the promise of a hopeful future, which he’s eager to share with Mum and Dad. As Haigh has amply demonstrated in Weekend, 45 Years and Lean on Pete, he’s particularly adept at revealing dialogue, and Adam’s hushed, intimate exchanges with Mum and Dad and with Harry have a heartbreaking quality that verges on but never tips over into sentimentality. At times, they’re almost unbearably moving. The film’s scenes with Mum and Dad are particularly effective (and affecting), and they also appear acutely personal: Haigh actually shot this material in his own childhood home, which he discovered had the same trapped-in-amber 1980s-era vibe as Adam’s parents. Haigh benefits from his extraordinary quartet of actors — Scott (Fleabag, Birdy), Mescal (Normal People, Aftersun), Foy (The Crown) and Bell (Billy Elliot) — who deliver naturalistic, utterly believable performances despite the film’s fantastical premise. Given those enchanting qualities, it’s regrettable that the film so utterly botches the landing. Haigh certainly isn’t known for traditional happy endings — though both Weekend and Lean on Pete offer conclusions of at least qualified optimism — but All of Us Strangers is altogether punitive in its despairing finish. Saying more would require spoilers, but Haigh badly missteps, choosing to exit with an out-of-the-blue shock that feels entirely unearned and illogical. Especially for a filmmaker as generally accomplished and subtle as Haigh, the finale of All of Us Strangers feels like a crass betrayal. n

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OUT EVERY NIGHT

ach week, we bring you our picks for the best concerts of the next seven days. To submit your show for consideration, visit https://bit.ly/3bgnwXZ. All events are subject to change, so check with the venue before you head out. Happy showgoing!

Broadway, 3509 Lemp Ave., St. Louis, 314-498-6989. JOE METZKA BAND: 7 p.m., $15. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222. THE LATE GREATS: 7:30 p.m., $12. Blueberry Hill - The Duck Room, 6504 Delmar Blvd., University City, 314-727-4444. LITTY TRAP 2024: 7:30 p.m., $10. Pop’s Nightclub, 401 Monsanto Ave., East St. Louis, 618-274-6720. LOW WATERMARK FOR GHOSTS, SEASHORE, READY SET CIGARETTE: 8 p.m., $10. The Heavy Anchor, 5226 Gravois Ave., St. Louis, 314-352-5226. MEG MYERS: 8 p.m., $35-$40. Off Broadway, 3509 Lemp Ave., St. Louis, 314-498-6989. RYAN KOENIG AND FRIENDS: 7 p.m., free. Yaqui’s on Cherokee, 2728 Cherokee St, St. Louis, 314-400-7712. TELEPATHY CLUB: w/ Planters, Ditch Doggie 8 p.m., $10. CBGB, 3163 S. Grand Blvd., St. Louis. UNCLE ALBERT: 8 p.m., $5. Hammerstone’s, 2028 S. 9th St., St. Louis, 314-773-5565. WIDESPREAD PANIC NIGHT 3: 8 p.m., $49-$155. Stifel Theatre, 1400 Market St, St. Louis, 314-499-7600.

[CRITIC’S PICK]

THURSDAY 18

THE BUTTERY BISCUIT BAND: 9 p.m., $9. Broadway Oyster Bar, 736 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-621-8811. THE GREATEST LOVE FOR WHITNEY: A WHITNEY HOUSTON TRIBUTE CONCERT: 7 p.m., $25. Catherine B. Berges Theatre at COCA, 6880 Washington Ave, St. Louis, 314-725-6555. HALEY DRIVER: 7:30 p.m., $15. Blue Strawberry Showroom & Lounge, 364 N Boyle Ave, St. Louis, 314-256-1745. THE OLD SOULS REVIVAL: 8 p.m., $15-$20. Joe’s Cafe, 6014 Kingsbury Ave, St. Louis. PAUL BONN AND THE BLUESMEN: 7 p.m., $5. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222. PAUL NEIHAUS IV: 3 p.m., $5. Hammerstone’s, 2028 S. 9th St., St. Louis, 314-773-5565. THE VOICES OF MOTOWN: 7:30 p.m., $30. City Winery St. Louis, 3730 Foundry Way, Suite 158, St. Louis, 314-678-5060. WADE BOWEN: 8 p.m., $20. Delmar Hall, 6133 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161. WIDESPREAD PANIC NIGHT 1: 8 p.m., $49-$155. Stifel Theatre, 1400 Market St, St. Louis, 314-499-7600.

SUNDAY 21

The Burney Sisters. | REBECCA ALLEN

FRIDAY 19

ADAM GAFFNEY: 4 p.m., $5. Hammerstone’s, 2028 S. 9th St., St. Louis, 314-773-5565. BIG HEAD TODD & THE MONSTERS: 8 p.m., $35$50. The Pageant, 6161 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161. JASON BOLAND & THE STRAGGLERS: w/ Matt Poss 8 p.m., $20-$25. Old Rock House, 1200 S. 7th St., St. Louis, 314-588-0505. PAUL NIEHAUS IV TRIO: 8 p.m., $15. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222. RED TAPE RIOT: 8 p.m., $12. Red Flag, 3040 Locust Street, St. Louis, 314-289-9050. RUMPKE MOUNTAIN BOYS: 10 p.m., $15. Club Riveria, 3524 Washington Ave., St. Louis, 314-531-8663. SAMANTHA CLEMONS: 7:30 p.m., $15. Blue Strawberry Showroom & Lounge, 364 N Boyle Ave, St. Louis, 314-256-1745. SOULARD BLUES BAND: 8 p.m., $5. Hammerstone’s, 2028 S. 9th St., St. Louis, 314-773-5565. ST. LOUIS STANDS WITH TRANS BENEFIT SHOW: w/ Half Gallen and the Milk Jugs, Sewer Urchin, Beau Diamond, Nite Frvr, Young Animals 7 p.m., $10. The Heavy Anchor, 5226 Gravois Ave., St. Louis, 314-352-5226. UP ALL NIGHT: 6 p.m., $6. The Attic Music Bar, 4247 South Kingshighway Blvd., 2nd Floor, St. Louis, 314-376-5313. WIDESPREAD PANIC NIGHT 2: 8 p.m., $49-$155. Stifel Theatre, 1400 Market St, St. Louis, 314-499-7600. WILLIAM TYLER & THE IMPOSSIBLE TRUTH: 8 p.m., $20. Off Broadway, 3509 Lemp Ave., St. Louis, 314-498-6989.

The Burney Sisters

When eldest sibling Olivia Burney, then 18, opted in February 2023 to part ways with the prodigious band she’d led since she was just 13 years old, the remaining Burney Sisters — Emma, 16, and Bella, 13 — were left with a bit of a conundrum. After all, it had been Olivia who had provided the lead vocals on nearly all the Columbia, Missouri, act’s original songs, serving as primary songwriter as well. What would her younger sisters do without her? Should they still perform the songs Olivia had written? Should they change the name of the group? Luckily those questions didn’t linger for long, as Emma, who’d been laying down expert instrumentation and preternatural harmonies alongside her older sister since she was only 10 years old, stepped up and found herself to be equal to the challenge of carrying on that good name (which, appropriately considering the familial ties, they decided

to keep). Alongside Bella, who had joined the band on bass and as a third layer of vocal harmony at only nine years old, the now-duo rapidly revealed itself to be the same unreasonably gifted act that had long ago captivated fans in St. Louis and points beyond. Indeed, the new configuration of Burneys has continued to wow crowds throughout the Gateway City in the months since, putting in time at Pines Fest and Open Highway Music Festival and others, all the while proving that it’s not any one sister providing the star power in this family band — it’s something in their blood. High Praise on the High Seas: The latest lineup of the Burneys spent a portion of 2023 out on the open water as part of the Cayamo Cruise, alongside a boatload of fellow heavy-hitters including Andrew Bird, Trampled by Turtles, Tweedy and many more. As Emma recounted to the RFT’s Steve Leftridge in October, no less than Jeff Tweedy himself approached the group and expressed his admiration for their talents. Here’s hoping for a collaboration. —Daniel Hill

Bar, 736 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-621-8811. BETH BOMBARA: 6 p.m., $6. The Attic Music Bar, 4247 South Kingshighway Blvd., 2nd Floor, St. Louis, 314-376-5313. BLUE MOON BLUES BAND: w/ Kent Ehrhardt 3 p.m., $5. Hammerstone’s, 2028 S. 9th St., St. Louis, 314-773-5565.

THE BURNEY SISTERS: 7:30 p.m., $15. Blue Strawberry Showroom & Lounge, 364 N Boyle Ave, St. Louis, 314-256-1745. DOGS OF SOCIETY: A ROCK N ROLL TRIBUTE TO ELTON JOHN: 8 p.m., $20-$25. The Pageant, 6161 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161. AN EVENING WITH MEG MYERS: 8 p.m., $35. Off

7:30 p.m. Saturday, January 20. Blue Strawberry, 364 North Boyle Avenue. $15$20. 314-256-1745.

SATURDAY 20

2 PEDROS YACHT ROCK BRUNCH: noon, $18. City Winery St. Louis, 3730 Foundry Way, Suite 158, St. Louis, 314-678-5060. ALL ROOSTERED UP: noon, free. Broadway Oyster Bar, 736 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-621-8811. ALLIGATOR WINE: 9 p.m., $11. Broadway Oyster

BROCK WALKER: 4 p.m., $15. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222. BROKEN JUKEBOX: 9 p.m., $9. Broadway Oyster Bar, 736 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-621-8811. ERIK BROOKS: 8 p.m., $5. Hammerstone’s, 2028 S. 9th St., St. Louis, 314-773-5565. JENNY TEATOR: 7 p.m., $20-$25. City Winery St. Louis, 3730 Foundry Way, Suite 158, St. Louis, 314-678-5060. JOHN MCVEY BAND: 3 p.m., $5. Hammerstone’s, 2028 S. 9th St., St. Louis, 314-773-5565. LYN LAPID: w/ Ashley Mehta 8 p.m., $22-$82. Off Broadway, 3509 Lemp Ave., St. Louis, 314-498-6989. SKEET RODGERS: 7 p.m., $15. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222.

MONDAY 22

BUTCH MOORE: 5 p.m., free. Broadway Oyster Bar, 736 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-621-8811. FOY VANCE: w/ Bonnie Bishop 7 p.m., $40-$55. City Winery St. Louis, 3730 Foundry Way, Suite 158, St. Louis, 314-678-5060. KEVIN BUCKLEY: 7 p.m., free. Yaqui’s on Cherokee, 2728 Cherokee St, St. Louis, 314-400-7712. SOULARD BLUES BAND: 9 p.m., $8. Broadway Oyster Bar, 736 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-621-8811. TIM ALBERT AND STOVEHANDLE DAN: w/ Randy 7 p.m., $5. Hammerstone’s, 2028 S. 9th St., St. Louis, 314-773-5565.

TUESDAY 23

ANDY COCO & CO.: 4 p.m., free. Broadway Oyster Bar, 736 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-621-8811. ETHAN JONES: 9 p.m., free. Broadway Oyster Bar, 736 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-621-8811. NAKED MIKE: 7 p.m., $5. Hammerstone’s, 2028 S. 9th St., St. Louis, 314-773-5565. VEIL OF MAYA: 6 p.m., $28-$50. Red Flag, 3040 Locust Street, St. Louis, 314-289-9050.

WEDNESDAY 24

CREED BRATTON: 7:30 p.m., $40-$50. City Winery St. Louis, 3730 Foundry Way, Suite 158, St. Louis, 314-678-5060. DREW LANCE: 4 p.m., free. Broadway Oyster Bar, 736 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-621-8811. EMMA LANGFORD: 7:30 p.m., $20. Blue Strawberry Showroom & Lounge, 364 N Boyle Ave, St. Louis, 314-256-1745. JOHN MCVEY BAND: 7 p.m., $5. Hammerstone’s, 2028 S. 9th St., St. Louis, 314-773-5565. MARGARET & FRIENDS: 3 p.m., $5. Hammer-

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RIVERFRONT TIMES

stone’s, 2028 S. 9th St., St. Louis, 314-773-5565. OPEN BLUES JAM: 7 p.m., $10. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222. VOODOO PHISH: 8:30 p.m., $14. Broadway Oyster Bar, 736 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-621-8811.

[CRITIC’S PICK]

THIS JUST IN

AARON LEE TASJAN: Thu., April 18, 8 p.m., $20. Blueberry Hill - The Duck Room, 6504 Delmar Blvd., University City, 314-727-4444. ANTHONY NUNZIATA: Thu., Feb. 15, 7:30 p.m., $20. Blue Strawberry Showroom & Lounge, 364 N Boyle Ave, St. Louis, 314-256-1745. THE AVETT BROTHERS: W/ Trampled By Turtles, Sat., Aug. 17, 7 p.m., $55-$99. St. Louis Music Park, 750 Casino Center Dr., Maryland Heights, 314-451-2244. BEN NORDSTROM AND STEVE NEALE: Sat., Feb. 3, 7:30 p.m., $30. Blue Strawberry Showroom & Lounge, 364 N Boyle Ave, St. Louis, 314-256-1745. BILLY JOEL & STING: Fri., Sept. 27, 7 p.m., $69.50-$424.50. Busch Stadium, 700 Clark Ave, St. Louis, 314-345-9600. BLACKWATER ‘64: Sat., Feb. 24, 8 p.m., $10. Blueberry Hill - The Duck Room, 6504 Delmar Blvd., University City, 314-727-4444. BLUE MOON BLUES BAND: W/ Kent Ehrhardt, Sat., Jan. 20, 3 p.m., $5. Hammerstone’s, 2028 S. 9th St., St. Louis, 314-773-5565. THE BLUE SPARKS: Sat., Feb. 17, 7 p.m., free. Das Bevo Biergarten, 4749 Gravois Ave., St. Louis, 314-224-5521. THE BREAKDOWWNS: W/ CHRONYX, The Ricters, Daydreamer, Fri., Jan. 26, 7:30 p.m., $10$15. Off Broadway, 3509 Lemp Ave., St. Louis, 314-498-6989. BROADWAY RAVE: Fri., March 1, 8:30 p.m., $15. Delmar Hall, 6133 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161. BROCK WALKER: Sun., Jan. 21, 4 p.m., $15. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222. BROKEN HIPSTERS: Fri., Feb. 9, 7 p.m., free. Das Bevo Biergarten, 4749 Gravois Ave., St. Louis, 314-224-5521. CALEB MCCARROLL SINGS JONI MITCHELL: Fri., Feb. 2, 7:30 p.m., $15. Blue Strawberry Showroom & Lounge, 364 N Boyle Ave, St. Louis, 314-256-1745. CAN YOU FEEL THE PUNK TONIGHT - A PUNK ROCK CELEBRATION OF DISNEY: Sat., May 11, 8 p.m., $30-$40. The Pageant, 6161 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161. CHEEKFACE: Mon., April 29, 8 p.m., $18. Off Broadway, 3509 Lemp Ave., St. Louis, 314-498-6989. CHRIS TOMLIN: Thu., April 25, 7 p.m., $25-$100. Chaifetz Arena, 1 S. Compton Ave., St. Louis, 314-977-5000. CREED BRATTON: Wed., Jan. 24, 7:30 p.m., $40$50. City Winery St. Louis, 3730 Foundry Way, Suite 158, St. Louis, 314-678-5060. DARIO ACOSTA TEICH QUARTET: Sun., Feb. 25, 6 p.m., $20. Blue Strawberry Showroom & Lounge, 364 N Boyle Ave, St. Louis, 314-256-1745. THE DAVE MATTHEWS TRIBUTE BAND: Sun., March 3, 8:30 p.m., $20. Delmar Hall, 6133 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161. DEAD POET SOCIETY: Wed., April 24, 8 p.m., $22. Delmar Hall, 6133 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161. DREW LANCE: Wed., Jan. 24, 4 p.m., free. Broadway Oyster Bar, 736 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-621-8811. ELIZABETH MOEN: Tue., Feb. 20, 8 p.m., $15. Off Broadway, 3509 Lemp Ave., St. Louis, 314-498-6989. EMO NITE: Sat., Feb. 24, 10 p.m., $20. Off Broadway, 3509 Lemp Ave., St. Louis, 314-498-6989. ERIC JOHANSON WITH SPECIAL GUEST AMANDA FISH: Thu., Feb. 8, 7:30 p.m., $15. Blue Strawberry Showroom & Lounge, 364 N Boyle Ave, St. Louis, 314-256-1745. FLYING HOUSE: Fri., March 8, 7:30 p.m., $15. Blueberry Hill - The Duck Room, 6504 Delmar Blvd., University City, 314-727-4444. FOY VANCE: W/ Bonnie Bishop, Mon., Jan. 22, 7 p.m., $40-$55. City Winery St. Louis, 3730 Foundry Way, Suite 158, St. Louis, 314-678-5060. GIMME GIMME DISCO: Sat., March 2, 8:30 p.m.,

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Creed Bratton. | VIA OFFICIAL WEBSITE

Creed Bratton 7:30 p.m. Wednesday, January 24. City Winery, 3730 Foundry Way. $40 to $50. 314-678-5060. He’s inarguably best known for the fictionalized version of himself that he played on NBC’s The Office, but Creed Bratton has been an ongoing concern since the ’60s. While his TV self was portrayed as a seedy kleptomaniac possibly living under an assumed name and possibly having murdered somebody, the IRL Bratton has a similarly (if far less criminally) wild backstory. His younger years saw him as a traveling troubadour of sorts, one who decamped from his homeland of California in his early 20s for a globe-spanning, hitchhiking musical excursion that saw the penniless young musician perform for oil camps in the Sahara Desert, for a brothel full of sheikhs in Beirut, and all across Germany and Israel before returning home and joining what would become the folk-rock band the Grass Roots in 1967. Bratton’s short

$15. Delmar Hall, 6133 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161. GIPSY SOCIAL AND BLACK MAGIC: Sat., Feb. 3, 7 p.m., free. Kirkwood Performing Arts Center (KPAC), 210 E Monroe Ave, Kirkwood, 314-759-1455. GOLDBERRY EP RELEASE: Fri., March 1, 7 p.m., $10. Blueberry Hill - The Duck Room, 6504 Delmar Blvd., University City, 314-727-4444. HARDY: Fri., May 31, 7 p.m., $39.75-$149.75. Hollywood Casino Amphitheatre, I-70 & Earth City Expwy., Maryland Heights, 314-298-9944. HUNTER PEEBLES: Fri., Feb. 2, 5 p.m., free. Das Bevo Biergarten, 4749 Gravois Ave., St. Louis, 314-224-5521. JACKSON STOKES ALBUM RELEASE PARTY: Fri., Feb. 16, 8 p.m., $15. Off Broadway, 3509 Lemp Ave., St. Louis, 314-498-6989.

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time with that act resulted in two certified gold singles and a gold album before the restless artist parted ways with the group in 1969 due to management’s refusal to let its members write their own songs. It was at this time he started to dip his toes into acting, culminating in his becoming a cult-favorite character in the most successful comedy of the aughts. Still, he never really lost his love for creating music, and since 2001 Bratton has released eight albums of his folkadjacent, jazz-damaged work as a solo artist — including, most memorably, “All the Faces,” the song he performed on the finale of the TV show that made him an international star. Act Right: When The Office was still on television, Bratton would frequently entertain references to his TV character when they were shouted out by the audience, often breaking between songs to share stories from the set. In the years since, though, he’s mostly let his music do the talking, so maybe keep your heckles to yourself. —Daniel Hill

JENNY TEATOR: Sun., Jan. 21, 7 p.m., $20-$25. City Winery St. Louis, 3730 Foundry Way, Suite 158, St. Louis, 314-678-5060. JOE METZKA BAND: Sat., Jan. 20, 7 p.m., $15. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222. JOE PUG: Wed., Feb. 21, 7:30 p.m., $25. Blue Strawberry Showroom & Lounge, 364 N Boyle Ave, St. Louis, 314-256-1745. JOHN MCVEY BAND: Sun., Jan. 21, 3 p.m., $5. Wed., Jan. 24, 7 p.m., $5. Hammerstone’s, 2028 S. 9th St., St. Louis, 314-773-5565. JOHN MORELAND: Sat., April 13, 8 p.m., $27.50. Off Broadway, 3509 Lemp Ave., St. Louis, 314-498-6989. KEN HALLER: Fri., Feb. 16, 7:30 p.m., $20. Blue Strawberry Showroom & Lounge, 364 N Boyle

Ave, St. Louis, 314-256-1745. LEO KOTTKE: Tue., March 5, 8 p.m., $39-$53. The Sheldon, 3648 Washington Blvd., St. Louis, 314-533-9900. MEG MYERS: Sat., Jan. 20, 8 p.m., $35-$40. Off Broadway, 3509 Lemp Ave., St. Louis, 314-498-6989. MICHAEL POLL: Sat., Feb. 17, 7:30 p.m., $20-$35. The 560 Music Center, 560 Trinity Ave., University City, 314-421-3600. MO EGESTON ALL-STARS FEATURING AHSA-TI NU: Sat., Feb. 17, 7:30 p.m., $15. Blue Strawberry Showroom & Lounge, 364 N Boyle Ave, St. Louis, 314-256-1745. MOLLY HEALEY STRING PROJECT: Fri., Feb. 9, 7:30 p.m., $15. Blue Strawberry Showroom & Lounge, 364 N Boyle Ave, St. Louis, 314-256-1745. NADIA MADDEX: Sat., Feb. 10, 7:30 p.m., $15. Blue Strawberry Showroom & Lounge, 364 N Boyle Ave, St. Louis, 314-256-1745. NAKED MIKE: Tue., Jan. 23, 7 p.m., $5. Hammerstone’s, 2028 S. 9th St., St. Louis, 314-773-5565. NORTH BY NORTH, BLINDED BY STEREO, CAVE RADIO: Thu., Feb. 8, 7 p.m., $10. Club Riveria, 3524 Washington Ave., St. Louis, 314-531-8663. OPEN BLUES JAM: Wed., Jan. 24, 7 p.m., $10. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222. OUR LAST NIGHT: Wed., May 8, 7 p.m., $29.50$49.50. The Factory, 17105 N Outer 40 Rd, Chesterfield, 314-423-8500. PARKER MILLSAP: Thu., Feb. 15, 8 p.m., $22. Off Broadway, 3509 Lemp Ave., St. Louis, 314-498-6989. POINTFEST: Sat., May 18, 1 p.m., $39.50-$139.50. Hollywood Casino Amphitheatre, I-70 & Earth City Expwy., Maryland Heights, 314-298-9944. THE RED CLAY STRAYS: W/ Ben Chapman, Thu., Feb. 15, 8 p.m., $34.43. The Hawthorn, 2225 Washington Avenue, St. Louis. ROLAND LABONTÉ: W/ Two Hands | One Engine, Sat., March 30, 8 p.m., $12. Blueberry Hill - The Duck Room, 6504 Delmar Blvd., University City, 314-727-4444. ROOTS AND BOOTS: W/ Sammy Kershaw, Aaron Tippin, Collin Raye, Sat., Nov. 9, 7 p.m., $45$100. Family Arena, 2002 Arena Parkway, St Charles, 636-896-4200. SARAH SHOOK & THE DISARMERS: W/ Sunny War, Sat., April 6, 7 p.m., $18. Club Riveria, 3524 Washington Ave., St. Louis, 314-531-8663. SHEAFOR AND SIMES: Sun., Feb. 4, 10 a.m., free. Das Bevo Biergarten, 4749 Gravois Ave., St. Louis, 314-224-5521. SICARD HOLLOW: Fri., Feb. 9, 9:30 p.m., $15. Club Riveria, 3524 Washington Ave., St. Louis, 314-531-8663. SKEET RODGERS: Sun., Jan. 21, 7 p.m., $15. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222. SLUSHII: Fri., Feb. 23, 10 p.m., $15-$400. RYSE Nightclub, One Ameristar Blvd, St. Charles. TAYLOR MADE - A TRIBUTE TO TAYLOR SWIFT: Sat., March 30, 8 p.m., $25-$30. Delmar Hall, 6133 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161. THIRD EYE BLIND: W/ Yellowcard, Sat., June 29, 7 p.m., $35.75-$109.75. Hollywood Casino Amphitheatre, I-70 & Earth City Expwy., Maryland Heights, 314-298-9944. TIM ALBERT AND STOVEHANDLE DAN: W/ Randy, Mon., Jan. 22, 7 p.m., $5. Hammerstone’s, 2028 S. 9th St., St. Louis, 314-773-5565. UNCLE ALBERT: Sat., Jan. 20, 8 p.m., $5. Hammerstone’s, 2028 S. 9th St., St. Louis, 314-773-5565. VOODOO BOB MARLEY: Wed., Feb. 7, 8:30 p.m., $14. Broadway Oyster Bar, 736 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-621-8811. VOODOO PAUL SIMON: Fri., Feb. 16, 8 p.m., $15$20. Delmar Hall, 6133 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161. WALTER PARKS & THE UNLAWFUL ASSEMBLY: Fri., Feb. 23, 7 p.m., $25-$30. Blue Strawberry Showroom & Lounge, 364 N Boyle Ave, St. Louis, 314-256-1745. WAXAHATCHEE: Fri., Aug. 23, 8 p.m., $35-$50. The Pageant, 6161 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161. WILD PARTY: Fri., May 3, 8 p.m., $18. Blueberry Hill - The Duck Room, 6504 Delmar Blvd., University City, 314-727-4444. n

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SAVAGE LOVE Script Doctor BY DAN SAVAGE Hey Dan: I’m a cishet woman, married 20 years, three kids at home. My marriage is generally happy, but it’s also sexless. Being “companionate” was his decision, not mine. The absence of sex is driving me crazy, so my husband has given me his blessing to get sex elsewhere. It’s tricky, though, as it’s hard for me to be sexually attracted to someone without feeling a special connection. I’ve tried the apps, but the thought of discussing the mechanics of sex with someone I’ve just met on Hinge or Bumble or whatever leaves me cold. The thing is, I periodically develop crushes on male colleagues. I work in a projectbased industry where everyone works on three-to-four-month contracts. We come together, work hard, get to know each other quickly, and then head off to new jobs. So fucking someone I met at work feels like the perfect solution. And there is currently a guy at work that I’m having the most intense flirtation with. The flirting is off the charts, and it’s driving me insane. But he’s happily married with a child at home. So how do I find out if he wants the same thing I do? I get the impression he desires me as much as I do him, but this doesn’t mean he wants to have sex with me. I also don’t want to cause drama or accidentally blow his life up. I just want to have sex with him. There must be other people out there in sexless marriages or open marriages who have hall passes like mine, but how do I find out if he is one of them? Do I have to ask? Can you give me a script? I don’t want to offend him or make things awkward, even if the awkwardness only lasts the few weeks until the end of our contracts. I would also hate to be accused of inappropriate workplace behavior. What can I do? Workmate Only Wonderland On the one hand … your workplace crush could be flirting with you because you’re a married woman with a husband and kids at home and he assumes your marriage is monogamous and regards flirting with you as harmless because 1. he hasn’t been paying attention to evolving standards of workplace conduct and 2. he doesn’t think there could be any repercussions, personal or professional, because [see 1] and you’re a married woman, WOW, and so nothing sexual and/or dramatic and/or actionable can happen. On the other hand … your workplace crush could be flirting with you because he wants to fuck you, and he may even

have his wife’s OK to fuck other people — he may, like you, have the hall pass he needs — but he’s kept the flirting within the zone of plausible deniability because 1. he actually has been paying attention to evolving standards of workplace conduct and 2. he doesn’t know if you’re allowed to fuck other people and doesn’t want to cause drama or accidentally blow your life up. On the other other hand … he may not be flirting with you at all, WOW, and your sexual deprivation (and desperation) has induced a really bad case of clitful thinking. If you wanna make something happen, you’re gonna have to risk asking him if he wants anything to happen. And seeing as you asked me to script this for you, WOW, I’m gonna assume you’re willing to run the risk. So I’ve written your lines for you, WOW, now you all have to do is memorize them (and your best impression of Meg Ryan, circa 1993): “We’ve been flirting — at least I think we’ve been flirting — please stop me if I somehow got the wrong impression — but if we have been flirting, I wanted you to know — before our contract ends and we go our separate ways — that my marriage is open. I don’t want to leave my husband — I truly love my husband — which means I’m no threat to your marriage. So if your marriage is open or companionate or something close, we’d be a really good match — as affair partners go — since I don’t want to take you away from your wife and child. I just want to fuck your brains out, and I’m pretty sure you want to fuck mine out. What do you say?” Finally, WOW, since hitting on coworkers isn’t a risk you’re gonna wanna take regularly, and since this particular workplace crush is going to leave town when your contract ends whether he’s down to fuck or not, I’ve taken the liberty of drafting some suggested language for your profile on Binge or Humble or whatever: “I’m a loving, stable, companionate marriage, and I’m not looking to leave my husband. But I don’t feel sexual attraction in the absence of actual affection. So if you’re willing to meet up at least twice to make a real connection, we might be a match. If you’re not willing to make even a minimal investment of time and energy, we’re definitely not a match.” Hey Dan: There’s a chance I’m engaging in some dickful thinking here. I’m a latethirties, non-binary, queer transmasc who passes as a man. I have a circle of outdoor “activity buddies.” It’s not a sexual thing, more of a we-go-hiking-and-camping thing. I took a shine to one of these friends on our first group trip. He’s strong

and an athlete, and yet he’s incredibly sweet. This friend is a few years older, divorced, with nearly grown kids. He’s one of the few in the group that I’ve told I’m trans. After a recent overnight group trip, I realized that I have a crush on my cis and probably het friend after he opened up to me about his kids (one of whom is non-binary!) and a recent date with a woman. I don’t know if it’s insane to want to tell him how I’m feeling. For what it’s worth, my spouse also likes him and telling Spouse how I was feeling inspired us to talk about moving toward a more open marriage. Now I keep having daydreams about landing this guy as a FWB and sharing him with Spouse. Am I, as the kids say, completely delulu here? Is there a chance in hell that my friend would be down for a little experimentation with my exotic self? (I haven’t had bottom surgery.) Is this a case of “you can’t know until you ask”? If so, can you give me a script? Longshot Longing So … you’re not only hoping Crush is attracted to men and/or is willing to make an exception for a man with a vagina — which some online types consider transphobic — you’re also hoping you’re that man, LL. And that’s not all: You’re hoping your marriage can smoothly transition to not just open, but poly, and that Crush is just as into Spouse as Spouse is into Crush. That’s a lot to hope for. While Crush could be bi or pan or open to sleeping with trans men who haven’t had bottom surgery, LL, it sounds like he’s straight. And if Crush joined this we-go-hiking-and-camping-but-notfucking group because he was seeking meaningful friendships with other men — too many straight men report having no friends at all and more straight men should join groups like the one you describe — your “ask” may not only derail your friendship, LL, but ruin this group for Crush and Crush for this group. Given the odds that Crush is heteroflexible or bi or willing to make an exception for a trans man who hasn’t had bottom surgery — and you’re that man — are slim, and given the odds that, even if he’s into you, he’d be into Spouse, whom he’s presumably never met, are even slimmer — I would urge you to keep your mouth shut for the time being. If he begins to telegraph any interest in you at all, if he gives you some unambiguous sign, then you can make the first move. (First moves are asks, not lunges; use your words, not your hands.) And even then, LL, you should open by asking for the “no” you’re hoping not to get: “I have a crush on you — if you’re not interested for any reason, please tell me, and I will

absolutely take your no for a final answer. And if this makes things awkward between us, I’ll do whatever you need me to do to get past the awkwardness, including giving you all the space you need, including skipping the next few overnight group trips.” Hey Dan: I’ve recently entered into a longdistance relationship with someone six years younger. This may not seem like a huge age gap, but since we’re both in our twenties, it feels significant. I’ve been told by everyone in my life that I’m too old for him and that the affection, support and commitment he’s flinging my way is due to his age and lack of experience. All my friends say that once he’s gotten older, he’ll move on to someone else. So far, it’s been the most loving and serious relationship I’ve ever been in, despite the fact that it’s long distance. I think if we were in our thirties the six-year age gap wouldn’t be important, but since the difference between 22 and 28 can be vast, I don’t know how to proceed. I feel some overwhelming judgment from close friends, and everyone is telling me to get out because he’ll probably leave me anyway. He’s very committed and looking for ways to move to my city, even though it’s only been a little over a month. Should I take him seriously? What do I tell my friends? And what if they’re right? Continental Age Difference Tell your friends this: “Most relationships don’t work out. People meet, hook up, feel like they’re really into each other, and then it fizzles out for whatever reason. But it can’t work out — nothing ever works out — if we aren’t at least willing to give it a chance. And I’m going to give this a chance.” That said, CAD, this boy’s willingness to move to the city where you live after four weeks is a pink flag. Tell him you want to keep seeing him but unless he was already planning to move to your city for some other reason (work, school, whatever), you wanna keep doing the long-distance thing for at least another six months. Because as good and right as this may feel four weeks in, it’s too soon for a move that big. If he can’t hear that without melting down, that’s a bad sign. If he’s willing to wait, that’s a good sign. P.S. I met a guy when I was 30 who was only 23 — and we’re still together 29 years later. P.P.S. Find better friends. Send your question to mailbox@savage.love Podcasts, columns and more at savage.love

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