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It’s National Etiquette Week, and Tidbits is advising you on the right, wrong, and wacky rules about manners and rude behavior. • Etiquette was essential clear back to Biblical times, with proverbs advising a person to “Eat as it becometh a man, and devour not, lest thou be hated.” Ancient leaders advised against licking one’s fingers and belching after a good meal, drinking wine in one gulp, and being free of offensive body odor. • Greed was considered the base of all evil that was to be guarded against while cultivating kindness and generosity. • Medieval knights were held to very strict rules of conduct, including “gallantry and courtesy to women” and respect for and defense of the weak. • As early as 1528, a book of manners was in existence, with advice on gentility, wittiness, and discretion. Those who wished to climb the social ladder were counselled to have impeccable manners. One of the 16th century’s most popular essays instructed people not to eat with mouths open or sneak sideways glances at others, and to engage in self-restraint and bodily control, both described as “civilizing proceses.” • In the 1730s, Britain’s Lord Chesterfield first used the word “etiquette” in a series of 400 letturn the page for more!

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To the ancient Greeks, it was the concept of hospitality, generosity, and courtesy shown to those far from home. To the botanist, it’s the effect of pollen on a seed. And to those in Ohio, Page 2 it’s the county seat of Greene County, a community about 21 miles (34 km) from Dayton. • Xystus is an architectural term, referring to a long, covered portico, or main entrance, of ancient Greek gymnasiums. Here, athletes would exercise during inclement weather. To the Romans, the xystus was the garden walkway in front of the porticoes, where they planted flower beds. • Physicians are familiar with two unusual “X” words, xyster and xiphisterna. The xyster is a surgical instrument used for scraping bones, while the xiphisterna refers to the cartilage at the lower end of the body’s sternum, that long flat bone located at the center of the chest. • The Greek word xanthos translates “yellow,” and several of our words use it for a prefix. Xanthophyll is a yellow pigment found along with cholorophyll in green plants. Plants with yellow stems are xanthopous. To those suffering from the abnormal vision condition known as xanthopsia, everything they see seems to have a yellow hue.

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ETIQUETTE (cont’d): ters written to his son on the “art of becoming a man of the world and a gentleman.” These letters instructed the boy on good breeding and social graces as a method of social advancement. • France’s King Louis XIV instituted a very elaborate form of etiquette for all who would visit the Chateau de Versailles. Because the King’s court might receive as many as 10,000 visitors a day, a sophisticated form of order was needed, and all guests were handed instruction cards outlining proper etiquette while in Versailles. Those who wanted to speak to the King were prohibited from knocking on his door, rather people had to gently scratch on his door with their left pinky finger. At the royal dinner table, it was bad manners to talk about the food that was being served, even if it was exceptional. No talking in a loud voice was allowed, nor were diners allowed to make any sounds while eating. Louis introduced napkins to the table; prior to that, guests wiped their hands on the tablecloth. It was incorrect etiquette to talk to someone to whom a person had not been introduced. Introductions could only be made by the host or hostess, and the other person first had to be asked if he or she approved of the introduction. • In Louis’ court, only the King and Queen had the right to sit in a chair that had arms. Ladies and gentlemen were not allowed to cross their legs in the presence of royalty. • Victorian times brought an extremely complicated systems of rules, including the proper use of cutlery, the art of writing letters, and regulations for proper interaction between differing social classes. • Many of what the British deemed proper went by the wayside with colonists in the New World, a fact that disturbed the Brits. When English author Charles Dickens visited Washington, D.C., he pronounced it the “headquarters of tobacco-tinctured saliva” shooting forth from the mouths of “not always good marksmen.” • We’ve all heard of the “no elbows on the ta(continued on next page)

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ETIQUETTE (cont’d):

ble” rule, but manners experts say it is perfectly acceptable to put your elbows on the table when no utensils are being used but not when people are actually eating. • It’s certainly rude to show up late to a dinner party, and you should know that proper decorum allows the hostess to proceed with dinner if you are later than 20 minutes. • When it’s time to be seated at the table, dinner guests should approach their chair from the left side and should exit on the right as the polite way to avoid a collision. If the need to use the restroom arises during dinner, according to manners gurus, it’s inappropriate to mention it to the group. A simple “excuse me” is the acceptable method to accomplish this. • Once seated at the table, and one of your fellow diners asks you to pass the salt, you should always pass both the salt and pepper. They’re a pair that should be kept together in the event that the person asking wants both of them. It’s also a cardinal rule to always pass to the right. • There’s appropriate protocol for wine glasses, too. White wine glasses are to be held by the stem, while red wine glasses are held by the bowl. And if the group is offering a toast to you, you should not drink to yourself! OFF • All of us probably remember our mothers admonishing us, “Don’t point!” The rule of thumb is you can point at something, but never at someone. If you are pointing out an individual across the room, it is permissible to gesture with an open hand. (continued on next page)

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ETIQUETTE (cont’d):

THE LONG TERM CARE BENEFIT MANY VETERANS ARE MISSING OUT ON Dear Savvy Senior, I have heard that the VA has a benefit that can help veterans and spouses with long-term care costs. We recently had to move my 86-year-old father – who served in the army nearly 60 years ago – into an assisted living facility, and my mom isn’t far behind. Can the VA help? Seeking Aid Dear Seeking, The Veterans Administration does indeed have a littleknown, underutilized benefit that can help wartime veterans and their surviving spouses pay for a variety of long-term care costs. This benefit, called “Aid and Attendance,” is a special pension that’s paid in addition to a basic pension. It pays a maximum of $2,230 a month to married veterans; $1,881 a month to single veterans; or $1,209 a month to a surviving spouse. The money is tax free, and can be used to pay for in-home care, assisted living and nursing home care. Today, only around 230,000 veterans and survivors are receiving Aid and Attendance, but millions more are eligible and either don’t know about it, or don’t think they can qualify for it. Eligibility Requirements To qualify, your dad must have served at least 90 days of active military service with at least one day of service during a period of war, and not have been discharged dishonorably. Single surviving spouses of wartime vets are eligible if their marriage ended due to death. In addition, your dad will also have to meet certain thresholds for medical and financial need to be eligible. To qualify medically he must be either be disabled, or over the age of 65 and need help with basic everyday living tasks such as eating, dressing, bathing or going to the bathroom. Being blind or in a nursing home or assisted living facility due to mental disability also qualifies him. Single surviving spouses have no age restrictions, but they must require help with basic everyday living tasks to be eligible.

• It’s an automatic reflex to cover your mouth when you sneeze or cough. But did you know that it’s bad manners to cough into your right hand? Etiquette experts say that the right hand is your “social hand,” used for shaking hands and other social activities. The left hand should be used for coughing, sneezing, scratching, etc. It’s inappropriate to sneeze into your hand then offer to shake hands with a person. • Did you know there is a special set of rules for cigar smokers? “Zino Davidoff’s Guide to Cigar Etiquette” was published in 1967, outlining appropriate behavior, such as only smoking the cigar halfway, and letting it burn out on its own, as well as never relighting a cigar that is more than two-thirds smoked. Mr. Davidoff says it’s impolite to smoke cigars while walking. It’s considered an insult to give another smoker a light from your cigar without first knocking the ash from yours. It’s also in poor taste to chain smoke cigars. • If you’re visiting the country of Japan, it’s perfectly fine to slurp your noodles. It shows the hostess that you are enjoying them! However, be sure to remove your shoes when entering a Japanese home. • Folks in China find it acceptable to burp after a meal. It’s a sign they are pleased with the meal.

LONG TERM CARE BENEFIT (continued)

See www.eben efits.va.gov/ebenefits/vso-search to locate someone.

If your dad is eligible, it will take between six and 12 months for his application to be processed, so be patient. You should also know that if your dad’s Aid and Attendance application is approved, the VA will send a lump sum retroactive payment covering the time from the day you filed the application until the day it was approved. Then your dad receives monthly payments going forward.

How to Apply To learn more, or to apply for Aid and Attendance, contact your regional VA benefit office (see Benefits. va.gov/benefits/offices.asp or call 800–827–1000) where you can apply in person. You can also apply by writing the Pension Management Center for your state (see Benefits.va.gov/pension/resources-contact.asp). You’ll need to include evidence, like VA Form 212680 (VA.gov/vaforms) which your dad’s doctor can fill out that shows his need for Aid and Attendance. If you need some help, you can appoint a Veteran Service Officer (VSO), a VA-accredited attorney or claims agent to represent your dad. (continued in next column)

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To qualify financially, your parents must have limited assets, under $127,061, excluding their home, vehicle and personal belongings. And their annual income (minus medical and long-term care expenses) cannot exceed the Maximum Allowable Pension Rate (MAPR), which in 2019 is $26,766 for a veteran and their spouse; $22,577 for a single veteran; and $14,509 for a surviving spouse. To calculate your parent’s income qualifications, add up their income over the past year (including Social Security, pensions, interest income from investments, annuities, etc.), minus any out-of-pocket medical expenses, prescription drugs, insurance premiums and long-term care costs over that same period of time. If the final tally is under the MAPR, and he meets the other requirements, he should be eligible for aid.

Answers on page 7

Answers on Page 7

Answers on page 7

1. Six pitchers have won an MVP Award in majorleague baseball since 1972. Name three of them. 2. Barry Bonds (762), Babe Ruth (714) and Ken Griffey Jr. (630) are the top three left-handed hitters on the career home run list in major-league baseball. Who is No. 4? 3. When was the last time before 2015-16 that the Washington Redskins had back-to-back winning seasons? 4. Name the first player in Kansas State men’s basketball history to have at least 1,000 points, 500 rebounds, 300 assists and 100 steals for a career. 5. In 2019, Colorado’s Gabriel Landeskog became the second player in the 2011 NHL draft class to reach the 400-point mark for his career. Who was the first from that class to do it? 6. Gwen Jorgensen, in 2016, became the first U.S. woman to win an Olympic gold medal in the triathlon. Who was the only other U.S. female athlete to win a medal in the triathlon? 7. Which two golfers have won the PGA’s Pebble Beach Pro-Am the most times?

Remember, when hosting a dinner party, a centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist. Answers on Page 7

1. What word refers to the use of proper manners on the internet? 2. What item is never to be ordered after a meal in Italy?

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ETIQUETTE EXPERTS Over the years, these ladies have stood out as experts in etiquette, and continue to be the standard for proper behavior. • Emily Post was raised in privilege as the daughter of a wealthy architect. Educated by governesses and New York City’s prestigious Miss Graham’s finishing school, Emily was introduced to society at an elegant ball in a Fifth Avenue mansion. She was wed to a prominent banker, whose infidelity created a huge scandal, (continued in next column)

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leading to their divorce when Emily was 33. • Since her ex-husband had lost his fortune in a stock market crash, Emily turned to writing to support herself and two sons. After a few romantic short stories, she had published five novels by age 38. She switched to a sourcebook on etiquette, which almost immediately became a best seller in 1922. In the years to come, ten editions of the book were published, and her book of etiquette has never been out of print. At one time, Emily’s etiquette book was the second most-stolen book from libraries. The first was the Bible (continued in next column)

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• Emily based her many books on her root belief that manners included “good form in speech, knowledge of proper social graces, and charm.” In Emily’s words, manners are “a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use.” Her pet peeves were pretentious people, dirty silverware, and hostesses who served themselves first. • Another etiquette expert, Letitia Baldridge, not only acted as First Lady Jacqueline Kennedy’s Social Secretary, she wrote a regular newspaper column on appropriate behavior and ran her own PR firm. Letitia had met Jackie at Miss Porter’s School, a prep school in Farmington, Connecticut, and the pair went on to attend Vassar College together. • Baldridge was responsible for updating Amy Vanderbilt’s Complete Book of Etiquette, as (continued on next page)

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Specializing in making bins of all sorts Where quality and value meet 1265 Morrison Road, Lyndonville, NY 14098 Phares Zimmerman - OWNER

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9966 ROCHESTER RD MIDDLEPORT NY 14105

ETIQUETTE EXPERTS (cont’d): well as penning 20 books of her own on the subject. • Amy Vanderbilt published her book of etiquette in 1952. A distant cousin of the famous railroad magnate Vanderbilt family, Amy had worked in advertising and public relations, while doing five years of research for her book of manners. She also hosted a 1950s television program, “It’s in Good Taste,” and a radio show “The Right Thing to Do.” Her book offered the standard of conduct for everything from how to write thank-you notes, including which stationery to use, to hosting a party to planning a wedding. Her book is still in print after many revisions. • Judith Martin is a modern-day etiquette authority, better known as Miss Manners. The daughter of Polish immigrants, Judith began writing an advice column at age 40, answering etiquette questions and contributing mini-essays on proper behavior. More than 200 newspapers publish her column three times a week. In her column, she always refers to herself in the third person, such as “Miss Manners believes…” She has written 18 books on the subject, including Miss Manners’ Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior, Miss Manners on Painfully Proper Weddings, and Miss Manners: A Citizen’s Guide to Civility. • Miss Manners advises that “if you behave in a way that offends the people you’re trying to deal with, they will stop dealing with you.” She cites “blatant greed” as the most serious etiquette problem in America.

OUNT GROCERIES DISC

& MORE OPEN MON.- SAT. 9 A.M.-6 P.M.

Credit & EBT Cards Accepted

11 MAIN ST. • LYNDONVILLE, NY

JEST I N TYME A S RTISAN HOPPE

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Tues.-Sat. 10am-6pm, Thurs. til 9pm • Sun. Noon-4pm • Closed Mon.

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Basil of Lockport

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af can on the k

3rd Quarter 2016 Week 30 The EPA estimates that every American throws away an average of 1.3 pounds of food scraps every day. This, combined with grass clippings, account for 24% of the country’s solid waste. Composting is a way to turn grass and kitchen scraps into a benefit for soil while reducing waste. To get started, throw your clippings, newspaper, eggs shells, coffee grounds, sawdust, and wood clippings into 1.pile. 3 your 2.

“Peter Pan’s Flight”

person in history – 22 Awards and 59 nominations The tradition of a man walking on the curbside when walking with a woman dates back to horse and buggy days, when it was the duty of the man to protect the woman from being splashed by the horse and buggy. Today’s gentleman protects his lady from cars splashing on her.

Tidbits® of Niagara Region

MINIATURE GOLF May 11 has been designated Miniature Golf Day, time to step onto the green and learn about this amusing pastime. • The world’s oldest miniature golf course is still in existence and operating today in St. Andrews, Scotland. While the game of golf had been played by men at St. Andrews for some 600 years, the social proprieties of the day declared it improper for ladies to take a full swing at a golf ball and to “take the club back past their shoulder.” As a result, a miniature course was established for ladies in 1867, The Ladies’ Putting Club of St. Andrews. Don’t look for windmills and Eiffel Towers on this course. Today’s course is a putting green of 18 holes covering two acres of “humps and bumps, valleys, and pockets.” • America’s first miniature golf course came along in 1916, when steamship baron James Barber designed his own personal course on his Pinehurst, North Carolina estate. Dubbed Thistle Dhu, Barber included fountains and gardens along geometrically designed walkways. The community of Pinehurst has continued his legacy with the construction of an 18-hole putting course of the same name. It’s not your usual novelty-type course, instead using a traditional style of rolling greens, hills, ponds, and trees. • In 1926, two ingenious New Yorkers came up with the idea of building mini golf courses on the roofs of the city’s skyscrapers. Drake Delanoy and John Ledbetter copied the artificial surface idea of Thomas Fairborn, and ended up with a lawsuit for patent infringement. After meeting an agreement with Fairborn, there were 150 rooftop courses by 1930. (continued on next page)

ANSWERS TO PUZZLES

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LAKE WINDS

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12551 Roosevelt Hwy (Rt 18) • Lyndonville, NY Hours: M-F 8-5; Sat 8-12

~ Samuel Martin

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1. Rollie Fingers (1981), Willie Hernandez (‘84), Roger Clemens (‘86), Dennis Eckersley (‘92), Justin Verlander (2011) and Clayton Kershaw (‘14). 2. Jim Thome, with 612 home runs. 3. It was 1996-97. 4. Wes Iwundu (2013-17). 5. Tampa Bay’s Nikita Kucherov. 6. Susan Williams won a bronze medal in 2004. 7. Mark O’Meara and Phil Mickelson each won it five times. The answer is C) 33 dogs, If one bag of dog food feeds 8 puppies, then 8 bags would feed 64 puppies. We need to feed 20 puppies only, leaving 64-20 or 44 puppies that have to be “converted” into dogs. Since puppies are in a 4 to 3 ratio to dogs (8/6=4/3), then 4 is to 3 as 44 is to ?. The answer is 33

Differences

1. Boys hat is different. 2. Man’s nose is smaller. 3. Fence replaces house on left. 4. Box is taller. 5. Plants added on the right. 6. Window is missing. 1. Confucius 2. The oldest or most important man 3. Emily Post 4. "The longer and deeper you curtsey shows more respect." 5. Ma’am or Sir

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tax included take out only

Country Cottage Restaurant 4072 Beach Ridge Rd • Pendleton, NY 716-693-4911 (Corner of Town Line & Beach Road)

OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK

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Tidbits® of Niagara Region

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MINIATURE GOLF (cont’d): • In 1927, Tennessee hotel owner John Garnet Carter patented his version of mini golf that he called “Tom Thumb Golf.” Trying to draw traffic to his hotel, Carter built the course on Lookout Mountain, a course designed by his wife Frieda with a fairyland theme. The course was covered with cottonseed hulls mixed with oil, rolled onto a foundation of sand, a technique that had been patented by American businessman Thomas Fairborn a few years earlier. The Lookout Mountain course was the site of the first documented mini golf competitions. More than 200 golfers from 30 states gathered there in 1930. Carter’s course was so successful that by 1930, he had sold more than 3,000 Tom Thumb franchises through his company, the Fairyland Manufacturing Corporation. About 25% of the mini golf courses in America were Tom Thumb designs, and by the end of the decade, an estimated 4 million people were playing the game. • The idea of quirky novelty props came along during the Great Depression. Because regulation mini golf courses were too pricey for most folks, courses were built using whatever everyday items could be scavenged. Tires, rain gutters, barrels, and pipes were incorporated along the paths, and soon the unusual items became the norm. Over the years, windmills, volcanoes, waterfalls, moving ramps, and other obstacles were added. • Due to limited winter daylight hours in Scandinavia, glow-in-the-dark courses are popular. A 40-foot (12.2-m) volcano is the highlight of Myrtle Beach, South Carolina’s course, where the Master’s Tournament is played every year. Thirty-five peacocks meander the green at the Gilbertsville, Kentucky course. The Cheyenne, Wyoming course includes miniatures of several of the state’s famous landmarks, including Devil’s Tower and Old Faithful.