October 1996 - Binghamton Review by Binghamton Review

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Binghamton Review Fights For Its Right Administration Interferes In The Removal Of The VPMA A Freshman's First Impression Of BU

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October 1996

Volume 10, Number 2

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Editoriul: Binghamton Review comes under attack by the Student Association's Financial Vice President.

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The Right Side !t's back and better than ever, Two pages of our senseless and ta steless humor Quibbles & Bits Someone changes their name to Ross Perot, a Senator becomes an advocate for beer

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Features

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Alex Galltsky To Catch a Thief, Part II, Binghamton Review fights with the University J-Board

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Jason Kovacs A Freshman talks about his worldly experiences at Orientation

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Paul Torres

The administration's meddling in matters that are not their concern

John Carney An exploration on the demise of our educational system

Nathan L. Wurtzel The multiculturalists fonn a new regime on campus

Next Month -The latest developments and opinions on the Diversity requirement °An Update of the status of the student representative to BU Council -For those or you who miss it, a report on our guest speaker Erik VonKuhneltLeddine The next issue will be available on November 1, 1996

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BINGHAMTON REVIEW

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Binghamton Review Comes Under Attack With the most conservative Student Association Executive Board in years, one would think the last campus organization to have problems with the SA would be the Binghamton Review. But the Review is under attack by Financial Vice President Erik Kopelman. He has demanded that we put all our money in an SA account and hand over control of our money to him. Binghamton Review is a privately funded organization. All of our funds come from private donations and paid advertisements. We do not rely on your student activity fee, making us the only independent news source on campus. The Review has chosen to be wholly independent because we do not want to be subject to the power and authority of the Student Association. Free from their control, we can focus on reporting the news as accurately as possible. The rest of the campus media does not have this privilege because they must fear the wrath of the SA, which could take away their ftmds or freeze their accounts. There are good reasons for the campus media to fear the tyranny ofthe Student Association Binghamton Review was originally ftmded by the SA. In 1989, they froze our funds because they did not like a cartoon we published in the paper. Rather than cave-in to SA demands, the Review went independent In my three years at Binghamton, two other publications have experienced the totalitarian rule of the SA. Both these incidents happened in the spring semester of 1995. The SA threatened to freeze Pipe Dream's funds because they were going to pnnt an article critical of the SA. They also froze the Coup de Tete's (now known as fair use) funds because they believed the organization had violated copyright laws. Their funds were frozen before the SA checked into the matter. Upon further investigation, the SA discovered that Coup de Tete had done nothing wrong. Yet, the SA still required them to submit their issues to the SA for prior approval before publication. It was said that this was being done to insure that there were not any more possible copyright infringements. It may only start as checking for copyright infringements, but where does it end? There is nothing to stop the SA from making editorial policy for and censoring the campus media The SA has not bothered the campus media in a while, so I guess they figured it was about time to do it again. It seems like it is the Review's turn to be harassed by the SA. Financial Vice President Erik Kopelman already controls over a million dollars, but now he wants to control even more. He has come to the Review insisting that we put our private money in a SA account. He says because we are SA chartered the SA can be held liable for anything we print, and because of this we have to give him our money. Essentially what he is saying is that he wants to have control of what Bin8hamton Review prints. It may be feasible for a ftmded group to have to subnut to the FVP's authority, since he is elected by the student body to oversee the ftmds generated by the activity fee, but he has no claim to the ftmds of Binghamton Review. Our funds do not come from the activity fee. They are private funds. Kopelman might as well ask me to tum over my personal checkbook. There is no difference between the two demands. People donate money to Binghamton Review so we can fight the SA's dictatorial reign over the student's at Binghamton. They do not donate money so we can submit to the SA, and allow Kopelman control over how we spend our money. Binghamton Review does not recognize the authority of the SA over our money. Nowhere in the SA Constitution or By-Laws does it say we must give them our money. They do say that if any organizations is elligible for funding it must have an SA bank account. We have an SA account, we simply choose not to use it. A member of our staff asked Erik Kopelman to show us something in writing that says we must put our money in the hands of the SA. Kopleman has failed to show us anything that remotely suggests we must turn over our funds. Our faithful readers and sponsors, do not fear, Binghamton Review is, and will remain, a completely independent student journal. We will not trust the SA with any of our funds. We will not submit to theIr tyrannical attempts to control us. Binghamton Review will continue to fight for our First Amendment right to freedom of the press. Editor-In-Chief Amy L. Gardner

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Pipe Dream

October 4th, 1996

September 6th, 1996

Michael DUllckley, a freshman and SA Rep. for Rafose Hall, is eager to say and do anything to defend his beloved VPMA. His intelligence is eloquently expressed through his adroit usage of the English language ...

Business as usual for our VPMA, up to an old bag of tricks ...

"Hold up America. don ' t you fucking dare tTy to silence me ... not this American boy."

Pipe Dream September 6th, 1996

Brent Landau, the Voice of Reason describes student sentiment on many issues...

should be able to supply some comrades...

" In the past, students have united to protest things which they percieved as being unfair, such as budget cuts to the SUNY system, advertisements featuring holocaust revisionism .. .and the absence of a meaningful diversity reuquirement.

September 6th, 1996

Pipe Dream

Editor: On that last item, whatever you say Brent... students will not protest your abscence from the Pipe Dream.

Pipe Dream October 4th, 1996

Felipe Ayala speaks out at the recent Affirmative ActionlVPMA press conference ...

Jessica Flores calls students to take action. .. "You as a B. U. student here have the option of running for a position on the Student Assembly. It is no surprise Anthony 's plans include dissolving this assembly. Your empowerment is still withing your grasp. Vote or run for assembly position, join a student organization, chal lenge Benardello to a public forum on his actions as SA president, attend a Binghamton Coalition meeting, interrogate the Binghamton Review, take action and voice yourself. "

Editor: Apparently students took Flores ' advice, but we don! think she is satisfied with the results so far. For one thing the Review has Editor: Ever try calling Fidel... he yetta be interrogated .. " As the revolution starts, we want soldiers, not bystanders."

"Benardello alleges the woman in question is VPMA Natalie Bledman... He says she called him a ' fucking italian guinea' . Gormly questioned a SA office staff member who witnessed the event while checking the mail. The staff member said she overheard part of the conversation. ' What! heard her say was ' guinea bigot',' and she did not hear the curse, she said."

Editor: If "guinea bigot " is not a curse...

Fair Use October, 1996

The socialists are back, and afier hiding behind a series of names, they have finally rested on "Fair Use ". We appreciate the friendly mention we 're given in the masthead .. "Here's a breif synopsis of what we is ... ' Fair Use' is your psychedelic enema, whereas the Binghamton Review should be used to wrap fish."

Editor: Grammar checking time... Fair use of "Fair Use" would entail either a birdcage, a toilet bowl, or, as suggested by "pyschedelic ", a joint. Actually, your bird might be offended ..

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BING HAMTON R EV IEW

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with the Judicial Doard and the Duckle~ f\MendMent by Alex Galitsky

t seems impossible to get through four years at Binghamton without being screwed by the University Administration at least once. As the real student advocate, Binghamton Review has always provided a strong opposition to the University's numerous criminally corrupt policies and procedures. The latest Review investigation clearly shows how the university covers up campus crimes. The evidence presented in this article is sufficient enough to initiate a civil law suit against the university. To refresh the memory of returning students and to inform freshmen and transfers I'll briefly mention the events of the last semester that are relevant to this story. It all started last spring. Losing ground the multicultural forces of evil turned to extreme measures. First, there was a ' Memo ' containing racist, homophobic and sexist slurs which attempted to smear SA AVP and Review

staff member Jeff Golant, and create turmoil on campus. Then, after the April issue of the Review provided evidence on who the culprit was , large quantities of the issue were stolen. Joe Testani, a member of LASU, was caught red-handed stealing issues of the Review. Binghamton Review was informed that it could not press criminal charges, thus, in May, the Office of Public Safety referred the case to the University 's Office of Judicial Affairs for its final resolution. In mid-September former editor-in-chief of Binghamton Review, Nathan Wurtzel, contacted Director of Judicial Af-

fairs Stephen Nelson to find out about the scheduled University J-Board hearing. Nelson informed Wurtzel that the hearing would not take place because he had already resolved the case. Nelson said that he met with Testani in early September and they reached a resolution that was ' satisfactory' from the University'S point of view. Nelson also stated that under the federal law he is not permitted to tell Binghamton Review the outcome of the resolution. Later that day I had a one hour conversation with Stephen Nelson. I asked him if he could describe the actions the University Judicial Office took on

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the case fro m the time it received the repo rt from the Office of Public Safety to the present time. Nelson answered, "I followed up on the case, and that's all I can tell yo u." When asked what federal law prohibits him the release of information, Nelson stated the Federal Educational Rights and Pri vacy Act of 1974, commonly known as the Buckley Amen dm ent. Furthermore, Nelson made a distinction between the vi olent and non-violent crime, saying that in cases where the former occurs the Buckley Amendment would permit him to release the information. However, if the crime is non-violent

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there is nothing he can do. I Several days ago I contacted asked Nelson ,-_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _--, M i c h a e I if he could Hiestand, a provide a copy staff attorney of the Buckley for the Am-endment Student Press so I could see Law Center. in writing that He informed me that uni his statements are sound. He versities ' absearched his use of the file but could Buckley Amnot find a L-_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _---l endment is copy. He told me that as soon as currently a hi-ghly debated topic he finds it he will let Bingham- nation-wide. There have been no ton Review know. Three weeks court cases in New York State challenging the uni versi ties ' later we are still waiting. The problem is that Stephen abuse of the Buckley AmendNelson will never find any ment. Ifthere were, according to supporting evidence Hiestand, the university would In the Buckley most likel y lose the case. Amendm ent that Hiestand pointed out the recent would prohi bi t him to precedent Red & Black Pub. vs . disclose any judicial University of Georgia (1993). Binghamton Review carerecord from the public. Bing-hamton full y analyzed this case and Review did extensive found many similarities between rese arch on the the abuse of the Buckley Buckley Amendment Amendment by the University of and came to the Georgia and Binghamton conclusion that the University. Red & Black, a University is deliber- student newspaper at the ately misinterpreting University of Georgia was this federal law. The denied access to Organizational Review beli eves that Court records involving hazing Binghamton Univer- charges against two fraternities. sity uses the Buckley The University of Georgia stated Amendment to shield the same reason Stephen Nelson, Director of Judicial Affairs S tephen Nelson i.e. Binghamton University criminals.

I am not permitted under federal law to tell you the outcome - Stephen Nelson

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Binghamron Review Joe Testani stated to Binghamton Reviewthe Buckley Amendment prohibits the disclosure. The Supreme Court of Georgia ruled in favor of the student newspaper, stating that "documents involving charges of violations of university rules and regulations ". were not educational records within meaning of the Buckley Amendment; records were not of the type the Buckley Amendment was intended to protect, that is, those relating to individual student academic performance, financial aid, or scholastic probation and were similar to records maintained solely for law enforcement purposes, whi ch were expressly excluded from Buckley Amendment's pur-

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considers judicial records to be a part of educatrecords , otherwise the Buckley Amendment is not applicable. Do judrecords have any thing to do Thief with educational records? According to the Supreme Court of Georgia, the answer is NO. According to Stephen Nelson, the answer is YES. In his letter to Binghamton Review, Stephen Nelson writes, "". 1 am not permitted under feder al law to tell y ou the outcome... " The Supreme Court of Georgia states the following, " ... the Buckley Amendment does not prohibit disclosure of records . Rather, the Buckley Amendment provides for the withholding offederal funds for institutions that have a policy of practice of permitting the release of educational records." As one can see, the Supreme Court of Georgia states one thing, Stephen Nelson states the opposite.

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The Supr eme Court of Georgia further affirms that the purpose of the Buckley Amendment is "not to grant indi vidual students the right of privacy or access to educational records, but to control the careless release of educational information on the part of many institutions. " If Stephen Nelson released the information about the actions of the Judicial Office, woul d that be considered a careless release of educational information ? I don ' t think so. In addition , th e Review found nothing in the text of the Buckley Amendm ent distinguishing the release of records of violent crimes and non-violent crimes, as stated by Stephen Nelson. The student newspaper at the University of Georgia won the case because the docum ents were subject to Georgia Open Record s Act and were not exempt by disclosure from the Buckley Amendment. Al though, the purpose and application of the Buck ley Amendment was interpreted by the Supreme Court of Georgia, it is hi ghly doubtful that the Supreme Court of New York would interpret it in a different way. Otherwise, there would be a discrepancy in interpretations of the law by di fferent states

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which would have to be settled in the United States Supreme Court. Thus, under the New York Freedom of Information Law Binghamton University must release its judicial records . Refusal of the Administration to do that is a violation of state law. According to the United States Student Association the research done at Southwest Missouri University found that

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statistics reports in accordance with the Federal Crime Awareness and Campus Security Act of 1990. However, do these reports provide a true picture about crimes on campus? Not necessarily. Some of the campus crimes are handled internally by the Judicial Affairs Office and never disclosed. The University simply considers them a part of student's educational record.

MIAMI UNIVERSITY, OHIO - Here on this idyllic campus, possession of a beer by an underage leads to automatic suspension. Yet sexual assault cases are allowed to be mediated. At worst, a student found guilty of sexual assault could get probation. For a victim of a rape, this is a bitter in campus justice. But, it gets worse. Erin R. (last name withheld) is a survivior rape in Februaury of 1995. Yet an official campus brochure sent out to 16,000 students listed zero rapes between January and June, 1995. Two other rapes were reported in February were not counted. Neither were 21 rapes reported to university agencies between January and June.(New Yorl< Times, May 5, 1996) " about 80% of the student newspapers surveyed had attempted to gain access to campus crime reports; of those, 70% of those newspapers were denied direct access to the actual campus crime reports and 30.4% reported that Buckley Arnendment was cited as the reason to deny access. " Binghamton Uni versity releases its annual crime

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Where is the guarantee that the incidents happening at Miami University, Ohio are not happening here at Binghamton? One of the most frightening things about the refusal of records disclosure is that the victim cannot find out the punishmentfor the perpetrator of a crime, or whether the perpetrator was ever punished, or was even rewarded for his crime.

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In other words the ones who are harmed have absolutely no say in the process. This is justice the Binghamton University way. Imagine John Doe spraying your car with black paint, breaking a window in your apartment, or even worse stealing your personal belongings. Let's say John Doe gets caught. He is brought up on university judicial charges. Would you feel better now, knowing that you will never know if John Doe was ever punished for what he did? Unfortunately, this is not a fiction. This is a reality at Binghamton University. Nathan Wurtzel speaks up for the staff of Binghamton Revi ew, "As usual , the University is hiding behind the Buckley Amendment in an attempt to avoid dealing with crime in a responsible manner. We will continue to press this issue on behalf of not only ourselves, but for all students who have fallen victim to the University's policy of neglect. " -Alex Galitsky is a senior majoring in history and is an abjunct in SOM. He is Distribution Manager of Binghamton Review.

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mNGHAMTON AND THE WORtD

~ ~ElHMANT PERSPECT/~

by Jason Kovacs

eing a freshman is a lot like being Bob Dole; it's difficult to get respect, and when you do, someone always brings up the age issue. Yet, once again, I find myself as a freshman (or rather, in the politically correct lingo, first year student), this time of the college variety. For me, my biggest fear going into college was not, as you might expect, the twenty page term papers (if you're lucky), the trappings of dorm life (just try to go to sleep before 3 AM), or the food (two words for you: mystery meat). It was that college would be this place where 95% of the student body would be bed-wetting liberals, and the 5% that wasn' t would be too scared to speak out against them. You see, in my high school, I was one of the five or six known Republicans around, so I was always one of the guys (and they were all guys, strangely enough) who had to defend the party of Abraham Lincoln, Theodore Roosevelt, Dwight Eisenhower, and Ronald Reagan. It was an arduous task, but one that I felt I was

up to at the high school level. So, with fears in check, a copy of the BU Bulletin in one hand, and a two day supply of Hot Pockets in the other, I headed off to Orientation last July. After registration , my parents and I were whisked into the Nelson A. Mandela Room (Nelson A. Mandela Room?) and officially welcomed to the University. As the Orientation Advisors introduced themselves , one of their names sounded familiar, so I checked it out in my nifty little Orientation Handbook. Yup, I was right. One of the OAs was a junior named Brent Landau, who had gone to my high school back in Kingston, N.Y Back in high school, he was a well-known Student Association member who was interested in law. I guess it's true: the more things change, the more they remain the same. Surprise, Surprise. I met Landau four years ago at an academic competition at SUNY New Paltz called the Citizen Bee. It was similar to a Spelling Bee or Geography Bee, except that the questions all had to do with American History and Gov-

ernment. I was a twerpy little freshman (wow... that sounds familiar) and Brent was a Junior. This also occurred during one of those several episodes when Mario Cuomo was the governor of our illustrious state, and there were rumors that President Clinton would appoint him to the Supreme Court. As a result, Cuomo's mug and an obnoxious headline were plastered on the front page of the New York Post. My father, who was reading a copy of the Post, turned to Brent's father and committed a classic social faux pas: "Hey, this is great. Maybe this way we can get him out of New York." Brent's father looked my dad straight in the eye and replied, "Well, there are actually some New Yorkers who like the job Cuomo's doing." "Oh... I see." Thus, I leamed of the Landau Family's political persuasion. All came out well, though; in the next election, Governor Cuomo lost to a freshman state senator from Peekskill. However, Brent did beat me in the Citizen Bee. Oh well, I

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was only a freshman On the second day of Orientation, I was wandering around the University Union looking for something to do. I started reading things that were on the floor, and I eventually came across a copy of the Binghamton Review. You can imagine my surprise after I read the Review's interview with Anthony Benardello. Here was I, freaking out all spring about going to a liberal college campus in the fall, when the new president of Student Association was basically a die-hard conservative (I've heard other adjectives describing him in the months since, but hey, let's keep it clean here). I was a bit more than shocked, to say the least. It seems like I, and the other members of the Class of 2000, have arrived here at Binghamton this B.U.S.1. computer something at an excellent time; a time when or another. Yeah, like this is so the student body has as its leaders hard we need to listen to an hourstudents who are committed to long dissertation about how to do bringing common sense, fiscal re- it. Anyway, after the staff exsponsibility, and equal representa- plained how to use the system, tion to the students of Binghamton they picked a student at random University. Anybody for Colonial to register his classes in front of pride? everyone, to show how it's done. The rest of my two day jaunt This Iud.), soul would not have to toBU in July went without a hitch. stand in line in the bl azing July sun On the afternoon of the first day, I for an hour like everyone else. As struggled with my OA, trying to it turned out, the student who was figure out my schedule . She chosen at random was from my helped me out quite a bit, actually. high school, and he didn't decide I picked out four decent classes, a to go to Binghamton until somehost of alternates, and went back time in early June, while poor me, into the Mandela Room to hear a who applied here Early Decision, lecture about how to regi ster had to wait in line to request (oops, I mean request) classes on classes for an hour. Luckily, I got

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of the sun before I turned into Pete Sampras, and I went home, a bit disappointed, extremely tired, but very excited about the fall. After finishing up my summer, Binghamton was calling. In between my parents, friends , and advisors yelling at me, "GET INVOLVED" and " DON''T BLOW IT," I somehow managed to get my college career off the ground. Am I excited to be here? Definitely. Am I a little nervous? Absolutely. Will I still defend the conservative cause? You better believe it.

-.fasonKovacs is afreshman majoring in history

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TheVPMA and the meddlesome adminis:tration by Paul Torres

t is of no doubt that historically the University Administration has done nothing more than show a tacit approval, condoning, and even encouraging such abominations as the Vice President for Multicultural Affairs. This is especially evident in recent letters written by Dr. Roger Summers and Ms. Marguerite Allington to the pipe dream. The VPMA should be an entirely student issue. The University Administration recently espoused this policy themselves, and yet their actions have yet to ring true to it. The letter by Dr. Summers in pipe dream, on Sept 10, 1996, was aptly described as darkly threatening at points. The sentiments of Dr. Summers, and undoubtedly a good portion of the Admiiristration, on the removal of the VPMA were made clear in his letter stating, " ... two letters... were sent to the SA president informing him that the SA is subject to all university policies and state and federal laws regarding compliance with affirmative action. These letters asked him to respond in writing how the organization will meet these requirements in light of the E-Board's ruling that the SA VPMA position 'is not valid'." There are many substantial implications present in this statement. These letters were in part pro-

voked, according to Dr. Summer's letter, by some students: "... several students have met with me and other University Administrators to voice their concerns and to encourage university intervention into this matter." The impetus is clear. Obviously some students are in disagreement with the removal of the SA VPMA from the E-Board because of its invalidity, but is this any justification for the Administration to intervene on the part of an obviously partisan/ideological debate within the student government? Apparently some students think so, believing that they know better than the rest of the voting majority. Perhaps, in appealing to the Administration, they believe that the Administration will come to their rescue. Should the Administration come to their rescue in any future drastic action, it will simply serve to finally prove how disgustingly partisan, and ideologically biased some of the Administration may actually be. The other shocking implication is that supposedly the VPMA is required, by some magic trick, in order to "meet" affinnative action requirements, and other requirements mentioned in Dr. Summer's letter. The implications are clear, the SA will be guilty of violating a university policy, an affirmative action policy, and a state or a fed-

erallaw, if the SA does not act to meet these requirements in light of the removal of the VPMA. It is not even plausible that the removal of the abomination of the VPMA, constitutes in any way shape or form a violation of state or federal law. The contention that an affinnative action or university policy has been violated is debatable, but that depends upon whether or not the VPMAis a part of such- policies, which of course is a question only the university can answer since the university determines this policy unilaterally. It would be an mtdue and flagrant intrusion by the administration upon the student government to include such an office as the VPMA as a part of its general university policy. It was not much farther into the letter submitted by Dr. Summers that were reminded in a somewhat dark tone that "the university grants recognition to the association and acknowledges its fimction as the representative body of the students... th~ university provides space to the association and to many of the organizations char:tered by them. This space is owned by the university, and the use of this space is solely at the pleasure of the university. To maintain its recognition, the SA must follow

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Do Any Of These Virus Concepts Ail Your Computer? The Hilary Rodham Clinton Virus: Files disappear, only to reappear mysteriously a year later in another directory. The Bob Dole Virus: Could be virulent, but it's been around to long to be much of at threat. The Colin Powell Virus: Makes its presence known, but it doesn't anything. Secretly, you wish it would. The Pat Buchanan Virus: Your system works fine, but it complains loudly about for eign software. The Ross Perot Virus: Activates every component in your system, just before the whole thing quits. The Bill Clinton Virus: (Sorry this is a family magazine). The Dan Quayle Virus: Their is sumthing wrung with your komputer, but ewe cant figyour outt watt! The Congressional Virus: The computer locks up, and the screen splits in halfwith the same message appearing on each side of the screen. The message says that the blame for gridlock is caused by the other side.

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SA President Anthony Benardello, looking at an old issue Newsweek upside down, asked who the cute girl on the cover was. When he saw it rightside up,it turned out to be Hillary Clinton.

The organization formerly known as Binghamton Review is now known as Binghamton Review to be more inclusive.

Top Ten Alternative Titles For "The Voice of Reason" 10) Blah, Blah, Blah 9) Bear With Me 8) The Voice of a Schmuck 7)This Space For Rent 6) Here I am, Look at Me 5) Hi! I'm a Dork 4) Sour Grapes from a Sore Loser 3) The Voice of Treason 2) Will Write For Sex 1) If you think I look stupid ... Read This

BINGHAMTON REVIEW

.••• > ...~--....~ university policies, including those which relate to affirmative action/equal access." Describing this as darkly threatening may actually be putting it lightly; this statement was just short of an ultimatum. It is interesting to note that there was never a word from the Administration during last year's attempts to instate the VPMA, which incidentally failed twice. Dr. Summer's letter stated that " .. .the university would only become involved directly with the association were there to be a violation offederai or state lawor university policies. The university does not intervene if there are violations of the association's constitution, by-laws, or policies." And yet the ·resolution of the issue of the VPMA through its removal was an issue regarding a breach of the SA constitution, the university is obviously becoming involved in the affairs of the association. The negative and only responses we have seen include such questions as " ... the question is how the Student Association Executive Board plans to comply with Binghamton University 's affirmative action/equal access policy. As the University 's compliance officer, I eagerly await the response." This statement came from Ms. Allington, Assistant to BU's president for Affirmative Action, in the September 20, issue of pipe dream. Do any other

students wonder just what this particular "compliance officer", and other administrative officers are wai ting for, or what steps will they take to enforce compliance to the supposed "guidelines" and "polici es" they point out as needing some form of supposed "compliance"? The University Administration, ifit is truly concerned with following the letter of the law, and seeing that the law is followed in the SA, has but one course of action.

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They must remain removed from SA politics, and allow the democratic process to work on our campus. Perhaps this is an order to tall for this administration. The last thing the administra.tion should be concerned with is how the SA will "meet" any requirements, lest it be automatically found guilty of some supposed violations.

- Paul Torres is a sophomore in Harpur College. ~ - -'.

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Italian-American

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1996

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BINGHAMTON REVIEW

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No Latin Less (jree/< Lots of Diversity by Joh,n Carney

ith marches through on the Sabbath and venerate the Our youngsters now learn more the Union, a faculty- fOWlding fathers, we are said to be about Seneca Falls and Marcus led occupation of the in a crisis of old-fangled euro- Garvey than the Constitutional Convention and Cotton Mather. administration building and. pints centrism of ink spilled in the campus paExactly the opposite is true: Latin has all but disappeared pers, it almost seemed as if a di- BU students are being deprived of from our public chools, and Greek versity requirement debate went their education by the lack of fo- is gone from even the better prion at Binghamton University. But, eus on our European heritage. vate schools. At the highly touted as classicist Thomas F l e m i n g - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - "blue-ribbon" public school attended by my youngest reminds us, the word "debate"

Binghamton students are bei ng deprived of their education.

implies two parties, and the brother, the students read no spectrum of the current discusHawthorne or Melville, but sions was limited to the deeper they do read the poetry of shades of pink, since neither Maya Angelou aJid Alice ~------------------~ the white flag of reaction nor the Binghamton graduates seniors Walker's The Color Purple. black flag of anarchy was raised. who know no Latin, less Greek, The grade schools are increasNo one wants to admit that the and very little about the history of ingly dominated by the twin evils Empire State already has a these United States, to say noth- of Outcome Based Educationmulticultural diversity require- ing of the history of Europe or the which has very little to do with ment, a ''rainbow curriculum" pro- three-fold root of our civilization, education, and everything to do duced by a coercive education ca- Athens, Jerusalem, and Rome. with social engineering designed bal whose membership includes Still, someone will say, don't to produce officially sanctioned atthe New York State Board of Re- we learn all that in high school? titudes toward women, homosexugents, the teachers unions, the Sadly, our high schools are even als, and preferred minorities-and school boards in most areas, and a worse than our little university. Whole Language instructioncombination of professional eduYears ago, history and geog- which Wendell Berry perfectly cators and bureaucrats whom the raphy gave way to social studies, described as education based on multiculturalists have either politi- which recently gave way to some- the theory that "literacy does not cized or intimidated into going thing calling itself global studies. involve knowing the meanings of along with the "diversity" agenda Rainbow curriculum standards words, or learning grammar, or Because some BU students have corrupted the teaching of reading books." ,The situation will only get still celebrate Columbus Day, American history, forcing even watch sports played by white decenttea.cherstoexposetheirstu- worse as the Board of Regents owned teams nicknamed the dents to social history radicalized piles on new loathsome and danRedskins or the Braves, worship by the genn of multiculturalism. gerous requirements, and bad:edu-

B ING HAM TON R EVIEW

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DIVERSITY

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!i=-"'" - ..". .. .".. .. """-",, --= = == = = == = = = = ===-.-- . --

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Visit the New SA Web Page http://www.sa.binghamton.edu All groups can now obtain space on the SA Web Server, including a web page and e-mail accounts For information on the SA Web Page, contact Mark Bloch at x6503 or email satech@server.sa.binghamton.edu cation crowds out good. The clearest account of our decline comes from Plato, who realized that bad education undermines virtue. Before a discussion along these lines can get any further, the multiculturalists interrupt with Meno's doctrine that there are all sorts of virtues, depending on circumstances. From the stupid faction of this crowd, we are exhorted to adopt the diversity agenda as a consequence of the Meno doctrine. "You have to deconstruct yourself, and realize that your dominant position in our hegemonic system conditions your ideology,"

Deborah Cowell used to shout at opponents of the diversity requirement. The smart faction of the multiculturalists turns away from this in embarrassment, knowing that if there are only many circumstantially relati ve virtues , then there is no essential or universal virtue, and no normative admonishment makes sense. Or, as Stanley Fish puts it, "The point is that there is no point, no yield of a positive programmatic kind to be carried away from these analyses." The same logic multiculturalism uses to undermine the traditional hierarchy of better and

worse undermines the multiculturalists attempt to claim superiority for their agenda. And this dead end is exactly where we should expect to end up when we follow Meno's trail, shown to him by the famous rhetorician Gorgias, who argued that nothing at all exists, and ifit did we couldn't know it, and even if we could know it, we couldn't talk about it It is a path to nowhere and nothing. In short, the multiculturalists want to deny the existence of an essential virtue in order to claim diversity as the overriding virtue. Butas we used to say on the Damariscotta River-you can't

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get there from here. In their boldest moments our local liberals-whether they are professors, students, or former editors of the Binghamton Reviewscold the stupid and smart multiculturalists for violating academic freedom. If I thought it would do any good, I could explain why there is no such thing as academic freedom, and why this is a good thing too. For now it is enough to point out that academic freedom has become a convenient shield with which professors protect themselves while abandoning their students to the diversity agenda I do not see how our liberal professors can sleep at night knowing that they teach at a uinversity requiring classes in "the nature of oppression" and "inequalities of power." Perhaps, with nights of hard drink flowing

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wo~d

explain the noses spotted be sure, Binghamton 1996 is a long way from Ithaca 1969, when cracked-windshield look of blood- several Cornell professors reshot eyes~~________________~_____________ red with broken capillaries and the

The triumph of disruptive - I-Ism WI-II路 ra d Ica win many other~!se converts to the cause of surpnslng frequency. chaos and violence.

thatmarfaculty faces with an

Comp-~--------------------------------~

liant professors must be even more ashamed when they recall that the new diversity requirement was established after the National Women's Rights Organizing Coalition stormed the meetings of the Harpur College Council, where members such as Joel Haynes promised to bring AK-47 assault rifles and other arms to campus, while coalition leader Emily Cratz urged her comrades to threaten students who refused to go along with the program.

ca ernie ree om as ecome a convenient shield with which professors protect themselves while abandoning their students to the diversity ~genda. like the river Lethe, constantly and full of forgetfulness, the horrors BU inflicts on its students slip the minds of our liberal professors. If there is truth in wine, there is consolation in whiskey, and this

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The violent multiculturalist threw respect and toleration out the window and there demands wereaccepted. Wherearetheprofessors who ought to be leading the defense of the tmiversity? To

signed in protest when the university administration caved-in to violent black radicals. By not standing up to the multiculturalists, the liberal professors prove correct every leftwing and right-wing critic who claims that liberalism is too soft to survive. To borrow another saying of Dr. Fleming's, 8lthough I have never been a liberal, I have always been prepared to accept the liberal compact oflive arid let live. Let me alone to go crazy according to my own hmacy and venerate my own God, and I will let others alone with their foolish theories and theologies. Given enough time, I may even come arotDld to . respecting my fellow students and my professors. But force me to bow down before multiculturalism and study "the nature of oppression" and I will reach for my broadsword. Ifthe liberals have lost control of campus, all bets are off and we are going to have to nm the university by older rules. The first thing we have to learn is that we

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cannot work within the liberal pro- ground of conscientious objectors fi ce. I would not be surprised if cedural system. Democracy only to multiculturalism. I suspect some angry students decided to works among democrats, and in these students will not have much destroy the computer records of the wake of the diversity struggle, trouble shrugging off the offend- the university, making it imposthe system of proposing questions ing requirements. Simply tell aca- sible to tell who has and who has before parliamentaIy bodies such demic advising No, and they most not fi lled the diversity quota. The as the SA and the Harpur College likely will find a way to exempt triumph of disruptive radicalism Council is nothing more than you. will win many converts to the fraud. Real power, the multiIf the administration will not cause of chaos and violence. culturalists have taught us, springs release resistant students from the For those of us not inclined tofrom the end of bull hom, the diversity shackles and threatens to ward anarchy, the other path is the strength of the mob and, ulti- prevent them from graduating for restoration of a traditional liberal mately, from the barrel of a gun. their insubordination, some dis- education. By liberal education I For most, resistance will sim- senters will no doubt take a page do not mean the failed timorous ply involve refusing to submit to from the multiculturalist book and system favored by liberals, but the the diversity requirement. Already forcibly occupy the registrar, aca- muscular liberal education that Binghamton hosts a small under- demic advising, or the dean 's of- dominated American colleges un-

"A. liberal is a man who is willing to spend somebody else's money" - G utcr Glass, quolcd in the New York 7imes

A message from

Senator Thomas W. Libous

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0cr0BER, 1996

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til the last turn of the century. To a great extent, our country owes it's existence to the liberal education of our founders, and a return and reconstruction must precede the rebirth ofour freedom from the two-fold danger of multicultural tyranny and anarchy. This means rebuilding this university according to an architecture describing the education suitable for free men and women, the original meaning of liberal education. We must prepare students to speak publicly about matters of urgency and permanency, and it is only prudent that we begin this task by exploring what the greatest minds have said on these matters. In short, this requires our university concentrate on the study of Greek, Latin, and mathematics. I am sure American and British history and literature will find

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a place in the new order, and there will eventually be room for the history, languages, and philosophies of Europe. These will be taught not as distinct departmental majors but as part of an integrated and coherent curriculwn. I cannot say the same for many of the other departments. Most will continue as graduate and professional schools, but undergraduates will be too busy with the difficulties of grammar, logic and rhetoric to concentrate on the specialized or vocational subjects. This reactionary vision of the university is conservative in cleaving to tradition and order, but radical in its demand that we attempt a full accounting of ourselves and redirect our lives. Nothing less will do. Most liberal professors assume that enough remains of the

old liberal university to make it worth preserving. They are wrong. The diversity requirement is an abonrination, and it dooms this university as we know it. Protests that there still are some good folk left at BU will not forestall the end: God's answer to Abraham was to remove him from Sodom So we say to the decent liberal professors, you have your chance to leave this university in protest of its policies. Better yet, you many join us. Our position is simple. We do not propose to be educated as slaves. We will not bend a knee to the multiculturalists. Not for another year, not for another day. -John Carney is a senior major~ ing in English and PPL.

Thursdays 8:00 pm UUI03 Come and voice your opinion!

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ASS

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0cr0IJBR, 1996

Multi-Cultis form New Gouernment SH HUP dumps Ship to

d~in

New Hllies

by Nathan L. Wurtzel

he PQlitical community at Binghamton University was (lealt a shock wave of earthquake proportions this month as several personalities who purport to represent "underrepresented" students have announced the formation of an alternative student government The new government, which will be called the Association of Suppressed Students (ASS), is encouraging "cultural" unions and likeminded leftist student organizations to withdraw from the Stupid Associa,tion (SA) andjoin their pirate regune. "We have been forced to do ~s~ethemUrum~has

rejected our ideas," said Steven Jeffries, head ofthe Weird Student Union. Results of Stupid Assembly elections indicating that mUlticulturalist candidates had been sO\Uldly defeated in all communities exce~ Dickinson played anugorrolein the decision to split from the SA, Jeffries said. ''To be Latinato is to resist," added Jessie Torres, former president of Latinalo American Socialists in Solidarity with Louis Farrakhan. "We must meet this challen~e by naming away from it By fonntng ASS, we can have a subterfuge to launch Qur evil and maladjusted ideas upon the WlSUSpeeling student body." _ Torres begged off further comment, claimmg she was on her !f8.Y to interrogate members of HJBl1 Hopes in lier quest to expWlge 00genng elements of conservatism from C8IJ..1Pus. Anotlier individual who assisted in the formation of ASS, Fwmy Mushroom, a graduate student m the Department of Revi-

sionist History, extolled the virtues of the new multiculturalist ministry: "We have successfully constructed our own space in which to confront the systematic oppression which is institutionalized at Binahamton University. We hope to aecenter as many fellow comrades.. " mean, stu(ients, as possible so they will realize their position at the bottom of the hierarchy andjoin in our morious revolution. I find it ironicid that it could be otherwise." Reaction from S~idAssocia tion President Anthony J. Bowlajello was surprisinJdy upbeat. "Let's face it," he saia When reached by cellular telephone at a local rifle range, "we W!ped them [the multicultUralists] off the map m the last six months. Th~ do not have the ability to work with regular ~ple, so It's completely natural that they would go off and hide rather than join with us." "Could you haftg on a second?" Bowlajello asked Muted sounds of the SA President bellowing, "PulH" emitted from the phone, followed by an earthshattering explosion. 'Thanks," he said, retwning to the cell phone. "God~ I love the Second Amendment! ' Executive Vice President Christopher Yabbadabbadoo did not share Bowlajello's optimism Commenting wllile supervising the installation ofa beer tap which will be used to accommo(iate the new Greek representatives during Assembly meetings, in room 221A of the UniverSity Union, Yabbadabbadoo exj)ressed regret at the formation of the new government. "I just wish this didn't have to

happen," he sighed. "I mean, I had

an apolitical elections committee and eve1}1:hing. I just try to be as fair and down the center as possible." Helping an elderly lady cross the street, Yabbadabtiadoo added that ifhe had to do it all over, he would have set aside several seats for the multicul-turalists so that they would have been represented in the Assembly despite the will of the students. . "Oh, but I'm still opposed to action," affirmative Yabbadabbadoo concluded. Erik Kopelperson, Financial Vice PreSident of the SA, said he was optimistic that both factions could come to a settlement soon, "We'll sit do~ )Ve'll have cake, we'll have coffee... before you know it everything will be solved" Perl1aps the most sllg)rising~ sponse was that ofAcademic Vice President Jeff Armyant, who annOWlced that he was vacating his office and joining ASS as their Vice President for Unicultural Affairs. Armyant could not be reached for comment, but close friends said that the move was precipitated by the fact thatArmyant was alw~s listed fourth among the memtiers of the SA executive board. "Look at it from his perspective," said Dustin Graft. "Jeff wanted to be first and this was his big opportunity. This doesn't excuse tlie fact that he's a yellowbellied traitor, but at least we can understand his motive." "Yeah." added Marx "Communist" Bloc, editor of the Stupid Advocateh"Jeff m~ be a weasel, but now a's the liead weasel. I

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just hope he's happy." Officials of ASS had no comment on Annyant's defection, but an anonymous source released a memo to Binghamton Review which explicitly details a qUid pro quo exchange of sex oetween Annyant and an unnamed ASS executJve. Public Safety is investigating the memo, but ULED Union President Doug Chains and whips wamed not to expect a resolution "until hell freezes over," or at the very least, " until Rodger Winters is run over by a tractor trailer." Administrative responses to the formation of ASS varied. In a press release, University President Lucy Bee Deflowered disavowed knowledge of the situation, but expressed support for the new government, stating that the University " must be a marketplace of ideas, unless the ideas are those of Anthony Bowlajello. He doesn 't

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BING HAMTON R EVIEW

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vert funds to operate ASS, noting that he was required to defer to Vice President Winters "in this and fairs." all other matters" Winters himself was apparCampus Director of Judicial ently caught unprepared for the Affairs Steve Halfuelson, who was situation. In an initial press re- not solicited for this article, sent lease, he asserted "the entire inci- a note to Binghamton Review statdent resulted in a wound less than ing that he would like to coman inch long on Anthony ment, but according to his interBowlajello." After being informed pretation of the Buckley Amendthat no one had been injured as a ment, he "cannot speak on any result of the formation of the pi- topic, ever." rate government , Winters Reaction from the campus litamended his statement to reflect erary community was supporti ve his wish for "affirmative action of ASS . Rompe del Cabeza editor now and affirmative action for- Beef Barley was ebullient, vowing that " the formation of ASS ever." "After all .. he said "lots of will strike a dagger into the heart people have j~bs as a result of af- of fascism. Actually, I don 't even firmative action. Lots of Vice understand what fascism is, but I Presidents for Student Affairs, for love that word! Fascism, fasci sm, example." fascism." University Comptroller Don Binghamton Review was initially Pokethat refused to comment on unable to reach Wet Dream editor whether the University would di- Carlos Pequefia, but he finally

Crisis

Auth ori11

Thursday October 17th 8 pm FA209

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phoned our offices, statin~ that this was his "one phone call. 'He said that he had been "detained," but expected to be free to analyze the situation "as soon as I post bail. " Wet Dream writer Brat Handblow, in his column "The Voice of a Schmuck," writes: "ASS is a good idea, but it is important that it has student support. I will personally call for a public oj>inion poll to gauge the aepth 01such support for a second government. But I'm definitely for it, and after all, my opinion IS the only one that matters. There's no such thing as enouclt government." C'"ultural groups do not appear to be en~rgized 6y the fonnation of ASS. Yiddish Student Union president Rose N. Berg has already refused to get involved in the controversy. 'We're just going to sit here on our tuchises and do nothing, just like we always do in an important situation," she asserted. One possibility for the lack of

interest in ASS is the fact that many of their infonnation sheets were stolen upon distribution. Bystanders posItively identified Joe Testicle, a member of Latina! o American Socialists in Solidarity with Louis Farrakhan, as the cUlprit. "I did it," said Testicle. "I screwed up. I thought they were copies of Binghamton Review." Testicle's Ultimate pwrishment for stealing ASS information sheets is protected from public knowledge by the Buckley Amendment, SaId Halfnelson, but a source at Judicial Affairs said Testicle would be locked in a closet with Graduate Socialist Organization president Benjamin Jester for two days, during which Jester would reai:l aloud the complete works of Edward Said. This punishment is usually fatal when tested on laboratory animals. Most student government watchers are uncertain as to the ultimate fate ofASS. "Torres and

the radicals bear watching," said Bowlajello, "but I think in the end they are playing with losing cards." Not so, says Torres. ''We ~ be a bOOCh of hapless extremist losersi but at least we'll all be wrifiea hapless extremist losers," she added. Perhaps the most enlightened opinion on the controversy comes from Noah Ark, chainnan of the Department ofZionist Studies and distinBuished professor of Strategic Dlseng~ement. "Listen," Ark postulates, ' we alilmow just what goes into ASS. Therefore, experience tells us that we can also be pretty sure just what will come out of it." -NathanL. Wurtzel used to be the editor ojBin~amton Review. He now spends his fjays cavorting with scantily clad co-eds on the Italian Riviera.

Have You Been Written Up By Your RA? If so, call a Student Association Ombudsperson for free advice on university legal proceedings An Ombudsperson will ensure that your rights are respected

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1996

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Light Up Everybody

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fame, for joining in abortion clinic Would the Real Ross Perot Carlos Granda, Editor-in- ~~escues. " She says, "I am a tru feminist. .. 1 don't want eveIY boy ... Please Come Forward Chief of the pipe dream, was to regard me as a potential aborter, charged with tmlawful possession Director ofWashington State's ofmarijuana He was fOWld smok- a piece of meat. How can a man ing a marijuana cigarette, with a respect a girl if he thinks she will Department of Agriculture, Jim friend, on the hill overlooking the abort a baby?" (The American En- Jesernig, respnds to his brother Bill's petition to legally change his pre-school play ground near terprise, July/August 1996)\ name to Ross Perot, "It's just Bingham Hall. Maybe this is why something Bill has decided he pipe dream has been looking a wants to do . There's nothing little strange lately. (Press & Sun the family can do to stop Bulleffln, September 18, 1996). him." (Newsweek, August 19, 1996) Hush Little Baby Don't You Cry Can I Buy You A Drink According to Idaho Senator Senator Kent Conrad was Larry Craig, eveIY American child quoted as saying, 'You have "is born already owing $18,500 as to have beer. Ifyou don't have his or her share of the national beer, what kind of country debt. No wonder babies cry so have you got?" He was complainmuch... " (The American EnterOther People's Money ing about budget cuts to subsidies prise, July/August 1996). to barley growers, which in tum Willie Brown, the Mayor of would hurt U.S. beer production. San Francisco, when asked how he (Washington Times Weekly, SepWhat Would You Do For A could authorize a lawsuit by the tember 8, 1996) Million DoDars? city against tobacco companies that had donated to his campaign, Someone called the Oliver said, "Hey, if you can't take Do Computers Belong to North radio show complaining people's money and then Political Parties? that the Republican Party was the screw'em, then you've got no busiparty of the ri ch. The call er Microsoft Word 7.0 has a parspouted a statistic that one in five ness being in the business." (Newsweek, July 29, 1996) tisan speUchecker. It recognizes delegates to the Republican Nathe names Kennedy, Johnson, tional Convention was a millionFriendly Protesters? Carter, and Clinton. However it aire. Oliver North responded, does not recognize Nixon (for ~~Did you know that four out of A group of protesters gathered which it offers the substitute four of the media~ta1king heads' outside the Whie House to protest 'Nikon') or Reagan ('regain or who gave you that fact is a milClinton signing the Welfare Rereign'). Either Bill Gates favors lionaire?" (Washington Times form Bill. A more memorable sign Democrats or he appreciates that Weekly, September 8, 1996) read "With Friends Like Bill conservati ves do not need Clinotn, Who Needs Bob Dole?" spellcheckers. (National Review, True Feminism (Washington Times Weekly, Sep- September 2, 1996). Noelia Garcia, a leading tember 8, 1996) French model, has also gained

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