BINGHAMTON REVIEW
Business
Dear Readers,
Welcome to another stellar installation in the Binghamton Review cinematic universe! It’s exciting times on campus, with Halloweekend and the Presidential Election just around the corner. As many seasoned Binghamton veterans know, Halloweekend is a great excuse to dress in your most dapper attire and drunkenly stroll the beautiful and well-kept streets of downtown Binghamton. Here are a few signs you had a proper Halloweekend: Got in a confrontation with a Townie, saw a couple dressed in prison attire, got kicked out of a frat, and/or stole someone’s cowboy hat. If you manage to complete some of these tasks, you truly had a great Halloweekend. If you’re looking for some Halloween fun, be sure to check out Angelo DiTocco’s article on page 10 and Amanda Weinman’s “A Halloween Movie for Every Mood(-ie)” on page 7.
In other news, #TheMostImportantElectionOfOurLifetime is less than a week away! Kamala Harris v. Donald Trump, or as I like to call it, Joe Biden (female version) v. Donald Trump. If, for some odd reason, you want to hear what a bunch of college students have to say about this election cycle, then this is the issue for you! Definitely go check out our featured article by former Editor-in-Chief Arthur O’Sullivan and President of the College Republicans Shane Rossi on page 8, where the two clash on what a second Trump term would mean for America’s future.
On a serious note, it’s been one year since the tragic death of Natalia Malcevic, a computer science major here at Binghamton University. Arthur O’Sullivan reflects on her death in his article on page 6. As we remember her life, remember also the mental health services Binghamton University provides to its students. During weekdays, contact the University Counseling Center at 607-777-2772 or stop in their office for an emergency appointment. For life-threatening emergencies, contact University Police at 911 or 607-777-2222. For an outside source, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255.
That’s all for the penultimate issue of the semester. As rain turns to snow in November, stay tuned for the upcoming pet issue. (And please, if you have any pictures of your pets you’re willing to share, send them in to editor@binghamtonreview.com to be featured.) Until then, stay well.
And remember, you better be “writin’ in Biden!”
Sincerely,
Aiden Miller
Our Mission
Binghamton Review is a non-partisan, student-run news magazine founded in 1987 at Binghamton University. A true liberal arts education expands a student’s horizons and opens one’s mind to a vast array of divergent perspectives. The mark of true maturity is being able to engage with these perspectives rationally while maintaining one’s own convictions. In that spirit, we seek to promote the free and open exchange of ideas and offer alternative viewpoints not normally found on campus. We stand against dogma in all of its forms, both on campus and beyond. We believe in the tenents of free expression and believe all sudents should have a voice on campus to convey their thoughts. Finally, we understand that mutual respect is a necessary component of any prosperous society. We strive to inform, engage with, and perhaps even amuse our readers in carrying out this mission.
Views expressed by writers do not necessarily represent the views of the publication as a whole.
Advice Column
I offered to give you all life advice. These were your questions.
At what point does talking to multiple girls lead to me having to make a choice on who I’m interested in most?
Well, I’m no expert, but if they’re both in your bed, you probably missed the deadline.
I think im pregers, what do i do?
‘Bortion probs.
My Grandma doesn’t want me to vote for Trump, what do I do?
Assuming you want to vote for Trump, it’s simple: fill in the space for Trump on your ballot, take a selfie with it, share it on social media, tagging the New York board of elections, thereby invalidating your vote. That way, you get your way and Grandma gets hers: everyone wins!
My suitemate doesn’t know how to be funny, what do I do?
Tell him to write answers for advice column questions.
My downstairs neighbor keeps bellowing over a video game at midnight, what do I do?
Bellow louder while banging at midnight, duh.
My roommate smells, what do I do?
Put a deodorant stick on your desk, maybe they’ll steal it.
My car got stolen, what do I do?
Idk put your name on it next time.
I’m addicted to stealing cars on campus and it’s causing problems for me. What do I do?
Tell everyone to put their names on their cars so you can’t steal any of them.
What is the minimum clothing-to skin ratio for a halloween costume?
Come to my apartment and find out, hunk.
Solve this:
420.
Written by our Staff
Will my girl stay loyal this halloween?
It sounds like you have trust issues, maybe you should talk to someone about that? Did your mother not put your art on the fridge? Did your father not say he was proud? Is this your first girlfriend and instead of discussing your issues to become a better person and stronger couple you email a magazine for a prophecy?
Should I dump my life savings into NVIDIA or Ethereum?
Stop being such a crypto-cel and waste it on expensive sandwiches at the MarketPlace like the rest of us.
My friends and I were arguing about this: did Halloweekend happen last weekend or is it this weekend?
Last weekend. Happy Thanksgiving.
Lunchables or Lunchly?
North Korean-style starvation.
Should I do the one-block jump for the chicken or the oneblock vertical jump for the beef?
I didn’t realize 15-year olds could write into the advice column.
Is the use of a dating app an admittance of defeat?
It’s only the start. Before you know it, you’ll be cashing out your 401(k) and blowing it on Twitch thots and OnlyFans models.
I need my ‘zempic after Halloweekend, but I’m afraid of the Plan-B traffic. How do I clear a path at CVS?
Fuck your gay Chungus life.
Was earl warren a stripper?
No clue who that is, but his name sounds pretty zesty, so yeah, probably.
I bear crawled because my friend thought Trump was weird. AITA?!?!
No. Anyone who doesn’t believe in the second coming of The Donald deserves to be bear-crawled on, whatever that is.
Need life advice? Email manager@binghamtonreview.com for more wacky, quirky, and zany responses.
Whom We’re Voting For
Aiden: Kamala Harris
Written by our Staff
If I had a nickel for how bad each candidate was, I would have 2 nickels because they both suck, but Harris sucks the lesser. (sorry jill stein, but you have no grassroots efforts and are a money-grabbing monster who shows up every 4 years to stroke your inflated ego, you old crone!)
Dan: Donald J. Trump
For all his issues, he is the only person to recognize the need for major change in our political system since Ross Perot. I ultimately believe Republican economic policies will improve domestic industry and stabilize the economy over time. Trump is also indisputably the stronger candidate when it comes to curbing illegal immigration and improving security. The failures in Afghanistan, Ukraine, and Israel have proven the incompetence of the current administration to handle and prevent crises. At least foreign leaders respected him. Trump has taken a bullet for this country and for these reasons, he’s got my vote.
Arthur: Figuratively sitting this one out.
Don’t blame me; I supported Pence. I’ve already stated my case against Trump on page 8. (TL;DR: He squishes on essential conservative values, but manages to still alienate the American electorate.) But this doesn’t mean I have to like “Momala,” “brat,””Kamabla” or whatever they’re calling her these days. Living in New York gives me the privilege of writing-in “Hawk Tuah Spit on that thang” and having as much influence as the guy who waited in line for three hours to vote for Trump. This doesn’t mean I won’t vote, I’ll just vote for competitive local candidates that I actually support like Lisa O’Keefe. If you really want to “fight the establishment,” let’s start with removing the Assemblywoman who’s been in office for almost 20 years.
Siddharth Gundapaneni: Literally sitting this one out.
See Article on page 9
Angelo: Donald J. Trump
I don’t care about how much stupid shit he says on Truth Social or how many hookers he banged. All I know is that back in the good old ‘10s, a burger cost 5 dollars. Now it costs 15.
One Year Later
By Arthur O’Sullivan
The publication of this Review issue marks one year since the suicide of Natalia Malcevic, a sophomore computer science major from Niskayuna, whose body was discovered at the base of the Bartle Library tower early that Monday morning. In my article from one year ago, I examined the administrative and student response, and discussed concrete ways for readers to help in the immediate aftermath. One year later, it’s worth revisiting the day that life stopped for Binghamton University—the lessons to remember and further thoughts on combating suicide. Like last year, I still feel unequal to the task before me: that I’m not sensitive enough, haven’t researched well enough, and am overall unworthy to speak on so great a problem—much less say something insightful. So if I have made an error, please inform Aiden at editor@binghamtonreview.com or myself at aosulli2@ binghamton.edu.
The week that followed Malcevic’s death was marked not only by frenzied action and discussion, but also acute stillness and reflection. Classes were canceled, exams were postponed, events were reorganized, and much of the student body united in the face of gut-wrenching tragedy. The focal point was a student-organized vigil on that same night. Beneath a starless sky, students silently made memorials of flowers and candles to the yet-unnamed deceased. (And even as academic life returned to its naturally busy rhythms in the following weeks, these memorials by the library and peace quad were tenderly kept by student passers-by.) Many statements were given; mental health resources were continually promoted; opinion pieces were published, but what should we learn from this one year later?
Last year saw a rare moment of concurrence between the Pipe Dream editorial board and myself at Binghamton Review: we criticized the administration for its apparent sluggishness in canceling classes that day—needlessly exposing Malcevic’s body to the public. We have no way of knowing whether this administrative inertia has actually been removed unless, God-forbid, this happens again. Moreover, as the head and foremost representative of the administration, President Harvey Stenger’s response is worth special reflection. His job that week was a difficult one, threading the needle of being transparent with students and faculty, while also protecting Malcevic’s privacy and the police investigation into her death, as well as providing resources and a sense of humanity to his communications. I therefore qualify all of my criticisms and suggestions (then and now) with the knowledge that I probably couldn’t have done better.
President Stenger issued two statements regarding the suicide: the first in the early afternoon of October 30th and the second on the morning of October 31st. The former detailed a “loss to the campus community” and Binghamton’s mental health resources. The latter was much more personal, with Stenger relating his insomnia, his 4 A.M. visit to the student memorial, and his apology for “not making a cancel or not cancel decision” regarding classes. Instead, faculty were to decide for themselves whether to cancel classes, and, if held, professors were not to “teach new material” nor take attendance.
I stand by my assessment from last year with some modifications: while the first letter skillfully navigated the heavy requirements of describing the day’s events, it now reads somewhat generic and impersonal; the second compensated for the first’s indirect language, showing much more individual compassion from Stenger, but its directives to students and faculty were too vague, doing little to relieve the difficulties between them. A perfect response would have combined the directness of the first email with the heart of the second, clearly outlining a compassionate but realistic policy similar to one I described previously. As Harvey Stenger moves on from Binghamton, it’s crucial that the incoming president be apprised of his predecessors’ response to student-suicide. Even if it never happens again, lessons from our failures and successes in the days following October 30th can be applied during any crisis, both for administrators and students.
The student response to Malcevic’s suicide was profound. The reverence with which strangers silently fashioned and maintained a memorial, without any thought for reward or recognition, keeping silent prayers and vigils for the deceased was a numinous moment not easily forgotten. Students likewise took pains to support each other as best they could, but this raised a less-discussed problem: How does one actually help someone in crisis? So much of the post-suicide discussion was about how you can get help. Much less of it actually detailed how you can concretely help others beyond sharing platitudes and the UCC’s phone number. Some of this can be learned naturally from experience and socialization. Still, there are a number of misconceptions about suicide that Binghamton University is well-positioned to dispel, and it already has the foundation to do it:
Last year, I asked Dr. Mark Rice, clinical director of the UCC, how students could help prevent cases of suicide contagion. He directed us to QPR training, a free but little-known resource which the SUNY system provides for spotting and averting possible suicides. The course is helpful, but far from flawless. It’s similar in structure to those mandatory robot-voice unskippable slideshow trainings that are becoming increasingly common at public universities. (This one, at least, has a human voice behind it.) Still, learning from the course that you can’t put the idea of suicide into anyone’s head—that if you’re thinking it, they’ve already thought it—made me more willing to intervene directly with people I knew. Without revealing personal details, this hour-long generic slideshow has helped much more than I could ever expect, and I strongly believe more students should take advantage of it. Resources like these should be more wellknown and better refined in presentation—they deserve more than a paragraph. If nothing else, remember that helping others in crisis is never a zero-sum affair; the one who gives help is often helped in turn. The scourge of suicide seems only to get worse as decades pass in America. Thus, giving support and receiving it however you can becomes not just a nice thing to do, but a moral duty.
A Halloween Movie for Every Mood(-ie)
I’m not interested in wasting your time on horror flicks. We all know Halloween, Scream, and Nightmare on Elm Street, so instead let’s sink our teeth directly into that juicy, delicious meat of true Halloween movies—the outright themed, mostly Disney, Halloween goodness. First, what are the characteristics that make a good Halloween movie? Easy: Theme, warm coloring, and just a bit of spookiness. If you’re watching and you can’t find orange in every single scene, that is not a real Halloween movie. If there are no pumpkins, no dead leaves, and no weird little creatures to deal with, it is not a Halloween movie. I want you to be able to picture a bowl of fun-sized chocolate bars and a flickering jack-o-lantern next to you constantly, or it is not a Halloween movie.
I would be remiss if I didn’t mention Hocus Pocus. It’s so well known it had to be disgraced with a sequel. The original, though, truly cannot be beaten. Hocus Pocus comes around yearly as the marker of Halloween movie time. Even when it’s not playing, a scene’s not far from making it into a commercial, or a poster on your recommended lists. It haunts the season and not without reason—a beloved mix of actors, timeless jokes, and gorgeous scenery have created a classic—but there’s just so much more to see.
By AJW
my head spin. This film is definitely one of the more straightforward attempts at a Halloween movie, and paradoxically the least Halloween-ish. While it takes place around Halloween, the shots are just less enthusiastic about it. Maybe the color-grading was off, maybe they didn’t have a Spirit Halloween budget, but something just misses the mark.
All these lesser movies lead to the one and only big kahuna of the season: When Good Ghouls Go Bad. This movie may truly be the peak of obscure Halloween movies. Do you want to be drowned in pumpkin imagery to get in the mood? This is the one for you. It really hits the sweet spot on the classic look. Hocus Pocus is also on the nose, but I imagine it’s also a little more East Coast suburban classic. This movie feels so stylized it’s a whole different world.
I want you to be able to picture a bowl of fun-sized chocolate bars and a flickering jack-o-lantern next to you constantly, or it is not a Halloween movie.
Halloweentown has the draw of being a series, allowing for the fun to keep on going. Strangely, though, the main character changes actors after the second film—and it’s never addressed. I believe this is a conspiracy within the movie’s universe and Grandma put something weird in the Kool-Aid without telling anyone. Despite the discomfort of having to get used to a whole new actress, the third movie is my personal favorite (even if it’s far worse in almost every way). Halloweentown High brings me back to those fond childhood memories of watching Disney originals live. There’s something strangely nostalgic about the costumes as well. The early movies use real masks instead of CGI monsters, and it’s just too delicious. With silly little witch dresses and ogre masks, it’d be so easy to replicate for your own costume, and with so many films losing the little touches that make them so easy to pick out in a lineup, I appreciate that the style at least tries to be original within an overdone concept.
Mostly Ghostly is probably the best kids’ ghost movie I could imagine. It’s just creepy enough to be fun for a future B-movie horror enthusiast, and stupid enough to not actually be scary. Kids’ ghost movies have a tough job to not be too scary and not be too dumb; you can’t expect American Horror Story plots or The Haunting of Hill House VFX. For what it is, it’s quick and fun.
Girl Vs. Monster is iconic for its time. It’s got some girlboss, monster-hunter slay with a cast of Disney child stars that makes
We follow Danny Walker who has just moved to the town where his dad grew up in. He and his grandfather get along, even if they don’t with anyone else. It’s October, but he’s just starting at his new school – and no one else celebrates Halloween. While his dad tries to get the chocolate factory back in business and create an entire Halloween festival to get things back on track, Danny is introduced to the Halloween underbelly where kids have stolen old decorations and saved up candy to trick-or-treat in secret in a rundown old house. But why don’t they celebrate Halloween? Why are they scared? Why does Danny’s grandfather come back as a zombie after a pumpkin massacre? All of it because of the death of a creepy child in the art room kiln. I mean, can you hear R.L. Stine’s typewriter moving?
Throughout the film, you’re dropped into a child’s storybook world of painted backdrops and low-stakes bullying. But, the pièce de résistance of the movie is the looming presence of the one, the only, Curtis Danko. I mean come on, the name alone gives me a thrill.
The truth is, this film is much more than a great Halloween movie. It’s about grief. It’s obviously watered down for a child to take in without a full melt-down, but it’s also beautiful in how it does so. Grief itself is not comforting, but showing it as not being lonely or scary but something surrounded by the beauty of fall and an end where you get to find peace with those who already left? That’s pretty nice. I guess this is what makes it such an enjoyable Halloween movie as well: It’s a fulfilling movie full stop. The coloring, the stupid jokes, and the heart at the center. This is what keeps it in my rotation and why it should be in yours, even if it’s kind of been lost to time.
Happy Halloween. Pop some popcorn, make a hot chocolate. Enjoy the leaves changing. Watch a scary movie and, most importantly, don’t take it too seriously.
Point-Counterpoint: Two Conservative Opinions On Trump
The Case for a Trump Presidency - Shane Rossi, President of College Republicans
The objective of and justification for a government is very simple. It is to serve the interests of the people within a given territory which people swear allegiance to. Not to an idea, or to an economic zone, but those who declare themselves as one nation. And these political institutions must be ruled by leaders who put that nation first. Unfortunately, this does not describe the current administration. I would like to outline their two greatest failures and why these are disqualifying.
On foreign policy, it’s been an utter nightmare. Joe Biden went on a zoom call and told Vladimir Putin not to invade Ukraine, to which he responded with laughter. His administration then sent Kamala Harris to negotiate with Putin two days before he invaded. These are two clowns who have no idea what the hell they are doing. But it doesn’t stop there. Israel faced its darkest day in its 81 years of history. The Afghanistan withdrawal was seen by the world, and especially by Hamas, as a very important message: “The United States will not protect you, and we are abandoning our commitment to our allies.” Even the Soviet Union vowed to defend its Warsaw Pact to its death. Instead of making peace through strength, the Biden administration has made war and chaos by being pathetic and weak. President Trump will lift America up and tell our enemies to sit back down.
In order for a nation to exist and survive, it must have a defined population with a set territory. If it does not, then the result is countries like Qatar or Kuwait: There is no national identity and no military, and the majority of the population are foreign workers who only care about making money. These are essentially giant factories or corporations. America cannot and must not become another dumping ground for the world’s problems. Biden and Harris have unleashed mayhem with every city and state becoming part of the border problem. In the case of this election, the border crisis is the full responsibility of Kamala Harris. She failed her oath to protect and serve, and we must stop her at the ballot box. President Trump will restore the rule of law, begin mass deportations and defend our national security.
After all of this, we are left with one question: Who is responsible for all the concerns and issues being discussed today? We know the answer to that. These leaders who failed to protect our country, our citizens, and the military must never be allowed again to hold public office. Their campaign should have the slogan, “We destroyed everything, but it will be better this time!” They failed, and everyone knows it.
Donald Trump must return to the White House and save our country.
The Case Against a Trump Presidency - Arthur O’Sullivan, Editor Emeritus
Liberals, don’t read this: you’ll only like Trump more. Conservatives, I know the phrase “anti-Trump Republican” may sound like Bill Kristol or the Lincoln Project. I must therefore assure you that I am not “just conserving GDP,” per the rightwing meme. I won’t discuss the Trump-Vance leftward shift on economics and foreign policy. Rather, I will limit my critique to Trump’s failure on three conservative social values: [1] abortion, [2] familial and constitutional institutions, and [3] not spreading crankish falsehoods to the American public.
Despite his role in overturning Roe v. Wade, Trump blames Republicans’ 2022 midterm failure on them being “too pro-life.” Consequently, he and “conservative Catholic” J.D. Vance keep competing to see who can be more “pro-choice” in their messaging, saying “My Administration [sic] will be great for women and their reproductive rights,” or promising to veto a national abortion ban. This issue has very little middle ground: it either concerns the life of children or the liberty of women. Trump’s squishiness on this is not remotely pro-life, and is emblematic of a greater corrosion in American conservative values.
Take Trump’s degenerate “private” life of affairs and broken families, his fervent denial that he lost in 2020 (on which he only recently back-tracked, and where he still fulminates against Mike Pence’s “disloyalty” and downplays the abortive Capitol riot that resulted), or his egregiously stupid “dictator on day one” quote. It’s almost trite to say that even one of these could have disqual-
ified him. Conservatives who shrug their shoulders or reflexively defend everything he does must ask: is this flagrancy making society’s institutions better—greater trust, stronger families, increased Christian decency—or worse?
Even if Trump “told it like it was” in 2016, can you say the same now? The migration crisis should have been a layup: an Ohio town of 60,000 suddenly sees an influx of 15,000-20,000 Haitian refugees, exacerbating existing problems with infrastructure, crime, and social cohesion. All that Trump needed to do was point that out, but instead he and Vance credulously regurgitated lurid, unverified Facebook stories of pet-eating on national television— Vance even saying “if I have to create stories so that the American media actually pays attention…then that’s what I’m gonna do, damn it!” Suddenly, Democrats go from ignoring real problems to heroically combating racist fabrications. But remember: it’s abortion that makes Republicans look bad!
I concede one thing to the pro-Trump side: Democrats are often as bad, if not worse, on all of these issues. Any restriction on abortion is anathema; the idea of conserving American societal institutions is sneered at; and calling CNN truthful was rich enough to get Colbert’s audience to laugh. But why must Republicans pitifully mirror the slimy techniques that Democrats perfected? Why must Trump win, calcifying this ideology and turning every election into Democrat vs Democrat-lite? Is this what “real conservative victory” looks like?
Why You Shouldn’t Vote This Year—Or Ever
As United States citizens, we are constantly reminded of our “duty” to vote. From the campus civic engagement center and student association to even Snapchat and Gmail sending periodic reminders, many consider voting a moral duty. It is often taken as a given that more people voting is equivalent to more people being heard and represented. But what if the entire premise this rests on is incorrect? That is, what if this push to get people to the polls may lead to an even wider gap between the policies that voters and politicians support?
This counterintuitive idea is underlied by the fact that our government operates on such a large scale, spending ~$6.75 trillion in fiscal year 2024 alone, an unfathomable amount. Thousands of policies are pursued with these trillions of dollars that our federal government either taxed or borrowed. Does anyone have any clue about these policies? Perhaps those who dedicate their lives to studying government policy do, but the rest of us that work in other fields or are students have little grasp of what the government actually does.
Most voters, including those that are college educated, cannot even name what the government’s largest bills are, let alone how well the money on those bills is being spent. This problem has been worsened by low quality politicians who themselves do not discuss big ticket issues during widely televised debates, such as Social Security’s growing indebtedness, interest on our debt becoming the third largest expenditure (even surpassing our defense spending), and more.
But the purpose of this article is not just to say that voters do not know what they are voting for; in fact, the problem is far worse. Voters’ ignorance of what government actually does is actually quite rational. People are much better off working to provide their output to society and income for their family. Really, the problem lies in the arrogance of voters who know so little, but are confident enough to make decisions concerning trillions of other peoples’ dollars. Voters can be described as having a sort of irrational exuberance.
The vast majority of government action can be described under the branch of economics. Exactly how little do voters know about economics? In a poll conducted by “More Perfect Union,” 61% of those polled believed that corporate greed is the largest driver of inflation we’ve experienced over the last few years, and consequently support price gouging laws like price controls. This view is detached from reality, as the general public thinks corporate profit margins are ~36%, whereas average profit margins as estimated by an NYU Stern database are closer to 7%. 90% of Economists surveyed in a University of Chicago study believe there is little evidence that price gouging has affected high grocery prices, while none disagreed (10% uncertain).
Furthermore, both 2024 presidential candidates have come out in support of “Buy America” policies, either in the
By Siddharth Gundapaneni
form of domestic subsidies or import tariffs. 96% of surveyed economists state that tariffs lead to higher prices for Americans, and the vast majority of literature on the subject shows little relationship between tariffs and domestic job restoration. The reality is that voters’s uneducated views on economic policy will lead to damaging effects on the US economy. Trump’s proposed tariffs are estimated to lead to roughly $524 billion in more taxes for Americans each year, shrink GDP by $232 billion, and cost about 685,000 American jobs. This does not even include the effects of the likely retaliatory tariffs other nations will respond with. Harris’ proposed price gouging laws mimic laws proposed after Hurricane Katrina, which were estimated to have cost billions of dollars to Americans as well, in addition to mass shortages across consumer product industries. Like it or not, there exist large costs to voting uninformed.
Now you may ask, “What if I try to become more informed? Will that improve outcomes?” The answer is still no. As stated previously, you cannot really inform yourself about government policy unless you quit your job, because of how bloated our government is. And even if you could, instead of spending a few hours trying to learn what government actually does, and another hour or so waiting in line to cast your ballot, you are much better served focusing on private altruism. William & Mary Professor Chris Freiman makes the suggestion that instead of spending hours voting, one would do more good working a few hours overtime and donating $50 to the Seva Foundation, which is enough to prevent one person from going blind. More generally, instead of trying to change the world with your one inconsequential vote, try and do more good for those around you.
I hope this year, many of my peers consider more effective ways to make a difference in the world, rather than this craze about voting. Bright students have a lot of productive ways to use their time! So, I urge everyone to be the change you wish to see in the world, and quit feeling good about yourself for wearing your “I voted” sticker. I certainly won’t be voting.
Five Nights at Bartle
By Angelo DiTocco
Yes! It finally works!” I exclaimed as my code successfully ran and gave me the expected result. It was 9:50 PM, nearly a whole hour after my lab was supposed to end. But I was just super unlucky today. Not only was this the most advanced lab assignment of the semester, but I just kept running into issues that seemed unsolvable no matter how much guidance I got from the TA and from random StackOverflow users. This lab took so long that even the TA dipped and left me on my own. “Just submit it on Brightspace when you get it done,” he said.
So I did just that. Excited to finally go home, I closed my laptop, packed up my stuff, and walked out of the computer lab in LN-G709, where I would inevitably be returning to do it all over again next week. I took my usual route to the nearest staircase—a route that took me three weeks to memorize. After a few twists and turns, I was finally there.
I pushed on the door to access the staircase, but it wouldn’t open. That’s strange, I thought to myself, I thought this door was always unlocked. So I pushed on the door another time, but to no avail. It was clearly locked. I guess I have to go a different way.
I then retraced my steps and made my way towards the main exit of the library basement. You know, that giant room in the middle with the fancy staircase going up to the main floor. There was no way that would be locked. And indeed, the door was unlocked to let me into the room. But as I started walking up the stairs, what I saw was unbelievable.
There were a bunch of metal pipes and fences blocking my way up! It seemed that during my extraordinarily long lab assignment, the expert Binghamton construction team decided it was the perfect time to renovate the library lobby. Not only was this creating yet another detour in my route to class tomorrow, but it was also trapping me in!
Surely there was at least one exit that wasn’t blocked off. The only problem was that I had no idea how to navigate the maze that was the Bartle basement. Luckily, there was a map on the wall. I took a picture on my phone, figured out where the next closest staircase was, and headed over there. This one had a “pull” door on it. I tried to turn the handle and, you guessed it, this door was locked as well. Was I ever going to find a way out of here?
I looked back at the map. There were still a few more stair-
cases to try. I again made my way towards the next one, passing by a bunch of empty classrooms and bulletin boards before getting there. This staircase had a double door—there was no way that both of them would be locked, right? I started by pushing the door on the left. It wouldn’t budge. Then I pushed the door to the right, and suddenly, everything went dark. As startling as it was, I knew it was really no big deal—they must have just programmed the lights to go out at a certain time.
I turned on my flashlight, went back to the map, and kept navigating the now-unlit hallways in search of yet another stairwell. But as I passed by another classroom, I heard a sound coming from one of them. I stopped to listen. It was a faint tune that almost sounded like a jack-in-the-box, but with a slightly different melody. But it made no sense. Why would this be playing from a classroom? I figured I’d just been stuck in that lab for so long that I was starting to hallucinate things. I continued on my way.
As I attempted—unsuccessfully—to access the next staircase, I started hearing that same tune again. And this time, it was getting louder, as if whoever was playing it was getting closer. I quickly turned around and shined my flashlight across the hallway. There was something walking towards me! I only saw it for a split second, but I knew that whatever it was, it was up to no good. So I immediately started sprinting away.
I bolted around the corner and started trying the door to every classroom, hoping that one of them was open so that I had a place to hide. But it was no use. The ominous tune once again got louder and louder, the creature approaching me yet again. So I just kept running.
Rounding another corner, I took another look at the map. There had to be at least one staircase that I could escape from. The only problem was that I had no idea where I was. All I could do was run around randomly and hope to find a staircase or at least an unlocked classroom to hide in. I kept pushing through this endless maze—left, right, left, left—just praying that I’d live to see another day.
It wasn’t until I was nearly out of breath that I finally found a room whose door was open. It was the Q Center. I FUCKING LOVE GAY PEOPLE, I thought to myself as I ran into the Gender Bender closet and shut myself in. I waited there for a few minutes, hearing the creature and its weird music box passing by several times. Surely it’s not gonna find me here, I reasoned.
But on the creature’s next pass, I heard it stop as it reached the Q Center. The footsteps then got closer and closer. Oh no; he knows where I am, I worried as I ducked behind a rack of androgynous clothing. The closet door had a lock on it, but still, there was no telling what this thing was capable of.
BOOM! The creature slammed on the door causing the whole room to shake as I quivered in fear. BOOM! The mirror shattered and fell off the wall. BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! Eventually, CRASH! The door went right off his hinges. “PLEASE! HAVE MERCY!” I shouted, hoping my end in this rainbow-colored grave would at least be a quick one.
“Are you ok bro?” A voice said.
“Huh?” I looked up. It was Baxter Bearcat. No hyperrealistic eyes or teeth or blood or anything—it was the same mascot that cheered on the Binghamton teams and occasionally took pictures with people on campus. “Baxter? What are you doing in the library basement?”
“My name is Steve, not Baxter. I’m a regular person trapped in this mascot suit.”
“Why? Who’s making you do this?”
The mascot went on to tell his story. It all started in 1946, when the university was first founded. He was a freshman just trying to find his classes, and one of them was in the library basement. So he went to the room he thought his class was in, but when he opened the door, there was an important meeting going on instead.
The man at the front of the table went off on him. “HOW DARE YOU INTERRUPT OUR CONFERENCE! AS PUNISHMENT, I CONDEMN YOU TO SERVE AS THE BINGHAMTON UNIVERSITY MASCOT FOREVER!!!” he bellowed. That was Glenn G. Bartle himself. Before the poor freshman knew it, he was permanently stuck in the bearcat suit and condemned to live in the library basement when he wasn’t cheering on the sports teams.
I was shocked. I’d heard stories before about the Bite of ‘46, but I had no idea it was actually real.
“It’s been so lonely being the mascot. Everyone wants to take pictures with me, but no one really cares about me. They don’t even know I’m a real person!” he complained.
I felt bad for him. I had always taken the detours to avoid Baxter whenever he was standing in my way to class. It never occurred to me that I was treating an actual person with such disrespect. “Damn bro, that’s crazy,” I replied.
The mascot took out his Bluetooth speaker once again and played that same familiar tune. He then started singing along:
I’m waiting every night
To roam this basement and invite Freshmen to come study here For many years I’ve been all alone
I’m forced to stand and cheer The games Bing loses every year Glenn has me imprisoned here In this labyrinth so queer
Please come here and stay Don’t go out of my way
I’m not like what you’re thinking
I’m a regular guy Who has been trapped inside This prison of fur and hide
I’ve been left all alone
Like I don’t have a soul
Since almost 80 years ago
Please let us be friends Lest your lab never ends After all you’ve only got Five Nights at Bartle!
“I guess we can keep in touch,” I said as I gave the guy my phone number, fully intending to ghost him afterwards.
“Thanks,” he replied. “There’s a staircase down that hall and to the right. That one should be unlocked.”
Sure enough, the door opened and I was finally free from Glenn G. Bartle’s dungeon. As I walked back to my room, I swore to never spend that long in the lab again.
A Retrospective: The 2024 Mets
By Aiden Miller
After a season filled with humor, whimsy, and joy, the Mets’ 2024 campaign has come to an end with a devastating loss to the Dodgers in game 6 of the NLCS. If you asked Mets fans at the beginning of the season where the team would end up, many wouldn’t be able to fathom being just two wins away from the World Series. The Mets, off the back of signing a rookie manager and new President of Baseball Operations, started the season out 0-5. By June 1st, the Mets were 11 games under .500 and 16.5 games back of first place. Powered by Grimace, Latin-Pop sensation Jose Iglesias, Seymour Weiner, the Rally Pimp, Hawk Tuah, and the Playoff Pumpkin, the Mets rallied, carrying the best record in the 2nd half of the season going into the final regular season series in Atlanta. Tied with the Braves on the last day of the regular season, our MILF (Man I love Francisco) Francisco Lindor powered a 2-run home run in the top of the 9th to turn a 7-6 deficit into a thrilling 8-7 victory for the Mets, propelling them into the Wildcard round of the playoffs in game 161 of 162. There, the Mets faced off against the formidable Brewers, a team that had had their number in the regular season.
I was home for the Mets’ series against the Brewers, their first playoff appearance since the tragic 2022 season. After the way the Mets played just a week and a half earlier against the Brewers, I was freaking out. After watching all 162 games, it all came down to three games in Milwaukee. For the Mets, they won comfortably in game one 8-4 off the back of the dynamic DH duo of Jesse Winker and J.D. Martinez. Game 2 ended with two tragic Phil Maton meatballs going for homers, resulting in a blown save and a 5-3 loss. In Game 3Jose Quintana, the Mets starter had the game of his life. His counterpart Jose Butto did not. Butto, coming out of the Mets bullpen, gave up a crucial set of late back-to-back home runs, launching the Brewers to a 2-0 lead in the 7th inning. The Brewers carried this lead firmly into the 9th, trying to finish it off with arguably the best closer in the game in Devin Williams.
By this point, my hopes had been dashed. I was already dooming and getting ready for the devastating final out. My living room was silent, my Dad and brother sulking with me as the inevitable end of the Mets season loomed. But the 2024 Mets, one of the most resilient baseball teams I had ever watched, did the least Mets thing ever: they rallied. After a Lindor walk and a Nimmo line-drive single, the Mets were cooking. But I’ve seen this trope hundreds of times: the Mets rally just to choke it away. So, I was cautiously optimistic that this may be different, and it was. Pete Alonso, in a historic hitting drought and in the final year of his contract, was taking what many thought would be his last-ever Mets at-bat. Hopes were low as my family and I mentally prepared for the inevitable double play to end the game. On a 3-1 changeup, Pete Alonso did the improbable: a 3-run home run to right field, clearing the fence by a mere foot, sending the Mets to their first NLDS appearance since 2015. It’s hard to remember exactly what happened because of the pure excitement and adrenaline from that moment, but I remember
screaming as loud as possible, hugging my Dad and brother in utter disbelief that the Mets didn’t Met it up. It was easily one of my favorite family-sporting moments in my 20 years of life. It was on to Philadelphia, the Mets’ ultimate rivals. The Mets took games one and three with a chance to clinch at home for the first time.. Obviously, we had a Review meeting during the game, so as EIC I turned the game on the projector and watched. After going down early with no signs of life, it seemed the writing was on the wall: the Mets were going to lose game 4 at home and lose in Philadelphia in game 5. That’s typical Mets’ fan logic, and that was my logic going late into game 4. After rallying to load the bases in the 6th inning, Fransisco Lindor stepped up to the plate. The Mets’ MVP had a chance to solidify himself in Mets’ lore for the rest of his career. On a 2-1 99mph fastball, Lindor laced a high fly ball to left field, carrying over the right field fence for a Grand Slam, giving the Mets a 4-1 lead. After Edwin Diaz wiggled his way into another jam doomer in me thought the sky was falling. But in true 2024 fashion, Edwin pulled it out of his ass and saved the game, sending the Mets to the NLCS against the Dodgers, causing me to make a scene at the end of the Review meeting filled with pure excitement and amazement that the Mets had even made it this far. The NLCS is still fresh, so I don’t want to get into it too much. But it’s fair to say that the Mets could have had that series go their way, but it wasn’t to be. So now the nation and world can suffer through a Yankees-Dodgers World Series.
So why did I take the time to write this? The 2024 Mets season was like something I had never experienced before. This team genuinely felt special and showed that at crucial moments throughout the season. This was easily my favorite season, filled with fun and competitive baseball. I will miss the memes, I will miss Grimace, and I will miss this group of Mets as a whole. Unlike seasons past, I have full confidence behind Steve Cohen, David Stearns, Carlos Mendoza, and the entire Mets organization that they can replicate for years to come and FINALLY bring a championship to New York.
Thanks for reading my often incoherent rant as a process this past Mets season.
(Me rn)
Remembering Kubrick’s The Shining
It’s Halloween season, which means Stanley Kubrick’s The Shining (1980) airs about as frequently as A Christmas Story (1983) does in December. There’s always a lot to say about this infinitely complex adaptation of King’s bestselling novel. I use ‘infinitely’ since it seems that every year, because of Kubrick’s reputation to many as the all-time greatest in his craft, the film has a similar reputation as being so layered and complex that a story of ghosts and domestic abuse produces increasingly convoluted interpretations—from rather sober to utterly conspiratorial. It is seen by some, for example, as an admission of Kubrick’s faking of the moon landing, as an exploration of the MK Ultra program, as a retelling of Theseus and the Minotaur, as an allegory for Native American genocide and even as a metaphor for the federal reserve under the Wilson administration.
But let’s not cynically make fun of the whackos from Room 237 (2013) . Even proponents of the more outlandish theories deserve to be cut some slack, in my opinion. If you’ve ever seen The Shining, you’d have to agree that the film is itself quite outlandish and not just a little confusing; you can comprehend the general plot, of course, but it’s quite hard to understand everything that goes on in the Overlook Hotel, much less what Kubrick is trying to say, thematically. On top of this, much like Eyes Wide Shut, Kubrick does not exactly go out of his way to quell our more conspiratorial predispositions.
Needless to say, while The Shining is a very complex and enigmatic film, it is not nearly as complex as its reputation would imply. As their evidence, analysts use continuity errors, slight facial expressions, background props and other elements of the film to explain what is really going on. And while it’s not unreasonable to assume the infamously meticulous Kubrick had an intention behind so many subtle details, a tin of Calumet baking powder in the background is not sufficient evidence for a theme of genocide, or any theme for that matter.
This must mean something!
By Victor Ostling
Perhaps one (or more) of these theories is correct, but whatever the case may be, none of them can be confirmed with certainty. Luckily, there remain certain themes of the film whose existence is—at least I’d like to think—much more believable; namely that the film is a story, at least at some level, of domestic abuse and trauma. After all, the ultimate aim of the Overlook’s ghastly endeavors is the Torrence family’s death at the hand of its patriarch. Jack Torrence succumbs to the hotel’s influences of evil and familial violence quite quickly because of his inherent disposition towards them—a feature of the character that is much more apparent on screen than in the novel. Many details in the film suggest not only a history of Jack’s ill treatment of his family but an underlying resentment that fuels it; it’s almost as if Jack has his own demons, as it were. These are demons that possess and reincarnate Jack (as we learn at the end of the film) as a part of an eternal cycle in the Overlook’s quest to continuously repeat its heinous tragedies with each new decade. That is until, in the novel, Danny burns the hotel down—an act which the famously creepy Grady sisters were corrected for attempting years before.
“But I corrected them, sir. And when my wife tried to prevent me from doing my duty, I corrected her.”
Thus, the Overlook’s violence can be seen—I think—as a familial trauma that repeats with every generation. A motif that emphasizes this is memory. Halloran, the cook, makes the point to Danny that the hotel leaves ‘traces’ of its many tragedies the way burnt toast leaves its smell. When Danny’s ‘imaginary’ friend, Tony, reveals a vision of the hotel, he faints; failing to remember the horrors he saw. Jack even says to his wife, “When I came up here for my interview, it was as though I had been here before. I mean, we all have moments of déjà vu, but this was ridiculous. It was almost as though I knew what was going to be around every corner”. And when Jack has his famous confrontation with the ghost of Delbert Grady, the former caretaker has no recollection of his occupation or his brutal crimes, at least at first. The Overlook Hotel, much like trauma, affects its victims with a keen sense of repression, yet its horrors remain present all the same. Interestingly, Leyland Kirby’s (whose stage name, The Caretaker, rings some bells) recently viral music project, Everywhere at the End of Time, replicates The Shining’s aesthetic to explore the mind of a person with dementia. After all, the genre of ballroom music used by Kubrick is often associated with the film’s ‘fading memory’ aesthetic.
So, this Halloween, do well to remember The Shining, and don’t let the trauma it gives us stop you. It’s a great film—likely one of the greatest—and like every Kubrick film, there’s something new to notice every time you watch it.
