BINGHAMTON REVIEW
Dear Readers,
Hello
From the Editor
friends, welcome back to another year of the Binghamton Review, for better or for worse. I forgot I had to write this editorial and am now writing this last minute, so bear with me while I struggle to crank this out.
We return to a campus under siege by an enemy that knows no bounds: Binghamton Construction Annoyances Amalgamated LLC. Our pathways have been blocked, our ears have been violated, and our convenience has been disrupted! When will it end?!? First Sodexo, then Parking Services, and now BCAA LLC? Disgusting!!!
If this wasn’t bad enough, Subway just had to make it worse. Recently I discovered on my first-semester trip to the Marketplace that Subway had gotten rid of some of its high-valued items: capicola, mozzarella, BelGioioso, and things of that nature. This sadly resulted in the Supreme Meats Footlong being discontinued. That sandwich was my pride and joy, now it’s DiMaggio time baby!
Despite our travel troubles, Subway shenanigans, and overall displeasure with Binghamton University and the city itself, this issue differs from this common student perspective. Throughout the new issue, a common theme seems to emerge among the majority of articles: a newfound appreciation for Binghamton as a university and city.
For example, read Louis Leonini, former Editor-in-Chief’s, article “ A Guide to Enjoying Greater Binghamton Like a Local” on page 6, where he discusses the hidden gems of the area that many students overlook. I haven’t even heard of some of these places! Be sure to read and go check them out if you can! Next, on page 12, check out former Editor-in-Chief Arthur O’Sullivan’s article “Things to Appreciate about Binghamton” where he discusses some of the things that Binghamton so unique as a university. Also, be sure to check out Dan Guido’s synopsis of campus food options on page 11. Finally, for all you Beasties out there, check out Managing Editor Angelo DiTocco’s very special article!
That’s all I got in me. I hope you enjoy our new issue and find a new sense of appreciation and gratitude for Binghamton University and the surrounding city. If not, u know where u can shove this issue!!!
Sincerely,
Aiden Miller
Our Mission
Binghamton Review is a non-partisan, student-run news magazine founded in 1987 at Binghamton University. A true liberal arts education expands a student’s horizons and opens one’s mind to a vast array of divergent perspectives. The mark of true maturity is being able to engage with these perspectives rationally while maintaining one’s own convictions. In that spirit, we seek to promote the free and open exchange of ideas and offer alternative viewpoints not normally found on campus. We stand against dogma in all of its forms, both on campus and beyond. We believe in the tenents of free expression and believe all sudents should have a voice on campus to convey their thoughts. Finally, we understand that mutual respect is a necessary component of any prosperous society. We strive to inform, engage with, and perhaps even amuse our readers in carrying out this mission.
Views expressed by writers do not necessarily represent the views of the publication as a whole.
Advice Column
I offered to give you all life advice. These were your questions.
Someone in my emails is offering me a job where I only work 3 hours a week remotely and earn $400! Is this real?
Yep! It’s real! Be sure to give them all the info they need, including your mother’s maiden name, a blood sample, and the wacky 3 digits on the back of your credit card!
I’m a recent freshman and I found out that my roommate already started dating a girl (she’s also a freshman). I think they even had sex. The thing is that uhhh... he’s 18 and she’s 17. How exactly should I word my callout post on YikYak against this groomer? (And yes, I called UPD. They just laughed and hung up on me.)
AGE GAP! If I were you, I would make a Twitter thread of approximately 27 posts describing each and every interaction they had, including the exact words and fluids exchanged. If you get lucky, some commentary YouTuber will make an hour-long video covering the situation in extreme detail and give that PDF file the justice he deserves.
So are we supposed to do the in-class readings?
According to the syllabus, students are expected to spend at least 12.5 hours each week contributing to the class, including attending lectures, completing assigned readings, preparing written assignments, and studying for exams. What’s that? You don’t have 12.5 hours for each of your 4 classes? Well then you’re just a lazy piece of shit!
I think I rented my new apartment from a slumlord. How do I deal with this?
Simply remind yourself that it be like that sometimes.
My friend keeps doing “bits” that aren’t funny to anyone and are really weird and self-destructive. He told me that last night he decided to tense as many muscles as he could for eight hours until he passed out from exhaustion. He collapsed to the ground several times during our conversation. How do I help my buddy out?
You’re not contraxxmaxxing? What the hell are you doing? Don’t you want to become a high-value man? Don’t come running back to me when some Chad steals your girl.
I’m entering my senior year and I’m not quite sure how to stay relevant to the incoming freshmen. What are the best memes and trends that I can use to stay hip?
It’s over, bro. No matter how many “hawk tuah”s and “skibidi
Written by our Staff
Ohio”s you say, you’re forever doomed to be that 21-year-old loser who can’t connect with the younger generation. Might as well get a golf course membership.
I stepped on one of the loose tiles in front of the Marketplace and fell into the Underworld. How the hell do I get out?
I call it the “Undergrounds” but whatever suits you, I guess. Anyway, in order to escape, you’ll need to level up your bowling skills and defeat the final boss of the lanes, Joe Strike.
Why the hell is Jimmy’s so crowded?
You see, the “Jimmy” behind that bar is actually Jimmy Neutron (boy genius). By frequenting the establishment, you’re actually contributing to his latest invention, which is a means of generating alternative clean energy using the body heat generated by the enormous swarms of intoxicated students.
Is it true that the food here used to be better?
Yes. Back in the 2010s, they used to have Michelin-star chefs working in the back and waiters that would hand-deliver the food to you and your many friends. The hardest part was having to choose between the filet mignon for $3 or the beef Wellington for $3.50. Sodexo has really fallen off since then.
How do I stay safe while walking on main street while crossed at 4 am on a saturday?
Well, you said you’ve already crossed it, so you shouldn’t need to worry about it anymore. Just make sure to look both ways if you need to cross again.
Why isn’t there a Barry Manilow club on campus?
Dude, I love Barry Manilow. That’s why I started the on-campus club “Barry Manilow Lovers Anonymous.” Join the 4chan group with the link below: www.binghamtonreview.com
How how how how how how how how how to say stober at a Binghamton Review meeting?
BLUE CHEW! BLUE CHEW!!! HAHAHA! BLUE CHEW AND STRAWBERRY INTENSE MILK!
Any last piece of advice for us freshmen?
No.
Need life advice? Email manager@binghamtonreview.com for more wacky, quirky, and zany responses.
Read This if You Miss High School
By Angelo DiTocco
It’s over!” says the doomer. “The West has fallen!” says the chud. “Society is collapsing!” says the blackpiller. Although these types of people are often mocked, it’s not uncommon to imagine the past as a better time. I myself am guilty of doing this with my high school days, especially given that they were effectively cut short when COVID hit. Even three years after my graduation, I still occasionally have dreams about finding my way around a building to get to my first period math class or whatever.
Not only can you potentially make new friends, but you can discover entirely new interests as well. I, for one, thought I hated writing until I joined the Review.
potential. Some classes will put you in massive lecture halls with hundreds of people, each one a possible friend or acquaintance. Don’t get me wrong, there is a bit of charm in being able to know half of your grade, but it’s still good to have a shit ton of options.
But the more I think about it, the less sense it makes to keep my head in the past. Sure, high school was a fun time, but there are many things I like about being up here in Binghamton. So, despite being a natural-born hater, I’ll start this year by telling you all the advantages of college over high school. If you’re an incoming freshman unsure of whether you’ll like this place, or just an over-nostalgic dumbass like me who needs to start living in the present, then this article is for you! Here goes:
More Flexibility
One thing I absolutely do NOT miss about high school was having to wake up at the inhumanely early time of 6:20 AM every school day to then spend the next 6 hours straight going from class to class. As a college student, you don’t have to worry about that. For most classes, you’ll have the ability to pick a time of day that suits you. There are unfortunately a few classes where the only sections are at inconvenient times, but you can still find ways to work around it. For example, if I’m forced to take an 8:00 AM or 8:30 AM class, I’ll usually arrange a big break after it so that I can take a nap if I need to. It’s not a perfect solution, but something like that would be nearly impossible to pull off in high school.
You could also just put it all off until the day before it’s due. Just don’t blame me if something goes wrong.
Aside from the flexibility of when your classes are, you also have more freedom over when you get your work done. Rather than churning out homework nearly every day like high school teachers do, professors tend to only assign stuff every week or so. This gives you the option to pick when you’ll spend the most time doing your schoolwork. You can save it for the shorter days with fewer classes and club meetings so that you’re not overwhelmed on any particular day. You could also just put it all off until the day before it’s due. Just don’t blame me if something goes wrong.
More People
To say that Binghamton is a big school would be an understatement. This can be quite intimidating at first (and to be honest, it still is sometimes), but more people means more social
More people also means more clubs. You probably noticed this when you went to UFest. Sure, half of the tables might have just had weird giant letters I can’t understand, but there are still plenty of real clubs to check out, and there’s probably something for you, too. You get to choose between multiple publications to write for! (You should choose this one.) Not only can you potentially make new friends, but you can discover entirely new interests as well. I, for one, thought I hated writing until I joined the Review.
Walkability
This one might be different depending on where you’re from. I personally grew up in a remote, upper-middle class neighborhood in the suburb of Mahopac (it’s near Westchester if you’ve heard of that). Some would describe it as a nice, quiet, crime-free area, while others may describe it as an isolated, boring dystopia. Whatever the case may be, down there, you need a car (which I don’t have) to go anywhere of interest. But here in Binghamton, this is a non-issue, especially if you live on campus. I used to have to wake up an hour before class started, but now, in some cases, this number is reduced to a mere 15 minutes. Clubs and other social gatherings are also easily within walking distance, and on the way there, you’ll actually be seeing people. Unfortunately, many places off campus are unreachable by foot, but at least public transit exists, and that’s good enough for me.
Specialization
The cool thing about college is that you get to pick a major, which lets you take more classes on things you’re actually interested in. Sure, there are a few annoying gen-ed requirements to worry about, but for the most part, the stuff you’re learning will be somewhat relevant to what you do when you graduate. My high school, on the contrary, required us to take both English and social studies classes every single year, which I wasn’t very fond of as a STEM-inclined student. My senior project may very well kick my ass this semester, but I still wouldn’t trade it for a literary analysis of The Scarlet Letter.
And there you have it: a few good reasons why college is better than high school, and why Binghamton in particular is probably better than whatever high school you went to. Now, it isn’t perfect by any means, but despite all the complaints people make about it, it’s really not that bad. So stop ruminating over the past and start living! This place has a lot to offer.
A Guide to Enjoying Greater Binghamton Like a Local
Recently, I had the opportunity to speak to a colleague whose daughter is enrolled at B.U. and was sad to hear something all too familiar. He said his daughter feels like there’s nothing interesting to eat besides college junk food, it’s depressing, and she is bored. Sadly, this isn’t the first time I heard a story like that. The average student thinks that much of the Southern Tier seems to have been forgotten, like many parts of upstate New York and the Midwest. They give up on finding anything of interest beyond the campus and downtown Binghamton. I gladly told him how I visit often and wrote down some local recommendations for his daughter that she didn’t already know. That event was the inspiration for me to share them with you, the current crop of New York’s finest students. I lived on campus for two years and the West Side of Binghamton for two years. I have local friends to this day and visit the area every year, so my observations are not out of date. I may have gone to B.U. when the dinosaurs roamed, but this area ain’t unfamiliar to me. I’m also a Yelp Elite reviewer, so I post a lot on food and travel experiences, including some reviews of Binghamton spots. The more I travel, the more I realize that every place you will ever visit or live in has something unique to offer if you’re open to experiencing it. “Bro, I was in L.A. and the pizza was mid” is a less fulfilling attitude than “Dude, I was in L.A. and the Korean BBQ was bussin’.” In other words, accept that not everywhere is going to have what you have in your hometown. Find out what is unique and enjoy it! So, what does
Binghamton have to offer? Well, I have put together a few unique things food and non-food-related that sadly, most students don’t ever experience.
Food
The more I travel, the more I realize that every place you will ever visit or live in has something unique to offer if you’re open to experiencing it. “Bro, I was in L.A. and the pizza was mid” is a less fulfilling attitude than “Dude, I was in L.A. and the Korean BBQ was bussin’.”
Eat a spiedie. What is it? It’s marinated awesomeness on a sub roll. “Spiedie” is a word derived from spiedo which is Italian for “spit”, since it is cubed and cooked over a charcoal grill. It is assumed that the marinade is an Americanized version of an original recipe popular in Sicily, where many of Binghamton’s immigrant families originated. It is the Southern Tier’s greatest contribution to the American culinary cookbook, and there’s even a spiedie festival every August to celebrate the sandwich (see below). If you really want to up your tailgate game and get noticed back at home, buy some marinade yourself, and make it. The original is Lupo’s in Endwell, and there’s also Spiedie and Rib Pit. If this culinary delight is to your liking…
Go to the Spiedie Fest and Balloon Rally. Spiedie Fest has been held in the same location since 1983 at Otsiningo Park. Generally held in August, it includes a cookoff, hot-air balloon rides, a car show, pro wrestling exhibition matches, games of chance, country music stars, those lovely “Wild Bill” soda trucks, and all the carnival food you can stuff down your gullet. It’s a classic event that gets better every year. You’ll also get to see locals at their happiest, and what the area is like during B.U.’s summer session. Afterward, head downtown to be
By Louis W. Leonini
in a familiar place but see it in a different light. Speaking of bars…
If your age allows, go to a nonSUNY bar. Southern Tier locals are really cool. Yes, really. Not only that, but they also actually like you. They think you’re amusing, merely roll their eyes at your youthful perspectives, and they are aware of the economic benefits of being a college town (just don’t constantly remind them of that, it comes across poorly). They only really get salty when you insult their town to their face. I was blessed to have made local friends in my college days, which is why I still visit. If you live on the West Side, I recommend Abel’s Pub. There’s a shrine to the former owner, cheap drinks, and live music. Bring cash, as they don’t allow tabs. If you haven’t made any friends from the area, go in a small group. If you want a great burger or wings, go to The Belmar. Be respectful, and you will always get respect back.
Go to The Cider Mill in Endicott in October. You can go whenever, of course. But October is when you begin to embrace autumn. It’s been around for almost 100 years and it has delicious donuts, pies, apple cider, and various other treats. They even have pumpkins from local farms for Halloween. What fun!
Be adventurous, be open-minded, and for the love of all that is holy, please don’t surrender to the idea that the whole area has nothing just because Denny’s or Nirchi’s isn’t to your liking.
Have special occasion spots. It’s nice to have a place to go when your
parents visit, or for date nights or other special dinners. You have great options for that. Station 45 is an old train station that was renovated into a steakhouse and cocktail bar. It’s within walking distance from downtown. If you really want to go off the SUNY grid, go to McCoy’s Chop House in Endicott. You can use Resy to get reservations at Station 45, but for McCoy’s you’ll have to call to make one. Make your reservation ahead of time (at least a week, or two weeks if there’s an event in town), as they get booked quickly. If those are booked, try Remlick’s. If these options are too fancy for whatever reason, try The Old Union Hotel.
If you must have your NYC-area favorites, don’t limit yourself to Vestal Parkway. You can find just about anything in the area if you are willing to do your own research, and don’t limit yourself to places that only students frequent. Once you or a friend get a car or live off-campus, this will be easier. Did you know there’s a Little Italy in Endicott? Look, I can tell you my favorite pizza, bagel, taco, pho, sushi, BBQ, etc., but then it won’t be as much fun for you to explore on your own. Be adventurous, be open-minded, and for the love of all that is holy, please don’t surrender to the idea that the whole area has nothing just because Denny’s or Nirchi’s isn’t to your liking. I promise you there are good options. Go find them.
To close out our food section, if you’ve decided not to go to the dining hall or cook, actually go out to eat when it’s possible to do so. It’s sad I feel the need to point this out, but I know you were subjected to lockdowns in your formative years and got comfortable with delivery in a way my graduating class never did. Look, I’m as big a fan of convenience as anyone, but people and places are important. When I lived on campus I ordered from a pizza spot regularly. I never met anyone but the delivery guy for two years. Once I finally visited, it became a home away from home. It was family-run, and they treated me like a son. Sadly, the place no longer exists. However, no one can take away my memories of
Mama Rosa’s face lighting up every time she saw me, the day the family met my parents, walking down Murray Street to the restaurant and having dinner with the family during a blizzard because no one else was around, or the exact song that was playing that one time when I lingered there to finish my glass of wine after devouring her homemade cheesecake. Rest in peace, Mama.
Experiences
Sadly, your stomach is only so big, and there are many hours of the day where you won’t be eating. During those in-between times, consider the following.
Go to a museum. Binghamton has some good museums if that is your thing. They also do events and food festivals to draw a crowd. Take your pick, but I like the Roberson Museum.
Binghamton is surrounded by farms, country markets with fresh local produce and pies, wineries, places to pick apples and pumpkins, shooting ranges, paintball, overlooks, mountains, lakes, and other cities. If you have a car, you don’t have an excuse not to travel with a couple of friends and have some shared experiences.
Enjoy the parks. My favorites are Otsiningo Park for the trails along the river, and Confluence Park, which is never more beautiful than when it’s time to enjoy a hike and grab some pictures of foliage in autumn set behind the confluence of the Chenango and Susquehanna Rivers. Binghamton is also the carousel capital of the world, and you can locate them all online. My favorite is in Recreation Park on the West Side, but if you go to the one in Ross Park, there’s also a zoo.
Have fun being a 90’s kid for a day. Parks and museums not your thing? Enjoy NY’s largest arcade that has games from all eras of gaming. Robot City Games is part of Antique Row. Have a look.
Learn how to cook from a local chef. Phantom Chef in Endicott has cooking classes for up to 16 people at a time. The chef grew up in the Binghamton area but studied at the storied Culinary Institute of America. It’s not often that the same chef can teach you how to make your own sushi and pasta. Having this asset so close to campus is a great opportunity. It’s also a great idea for a student group outing and it’s a great life skill to master. That’s why it made it into this section and not the food one, in case you were wondering.
Take advantage of your location. Binghamton is surrounded by farms, country markets with fresh local produce and pies, wineries, places to pick apples and pumpkins, shooting ranges, paintball, overlooks, mountains, lakes, and other cities. If you have a car, you don’t have an excuse not to travel with a couple of friends and have some shared experiences. Most students return to the area rarely (if at all) after graduation. Enjoy it while you can. If taking I-81 South is on your path back home, this is a pro tip for you, and one that I only discovered in the last couple of years. On my last day of every visit, I stop at the Park Diner for breakfast before I head out. On my way home I pick up a pie from Bingham’s, a country-style diner about 30 minutes south of Binghamton with fresh pies and sweet breads. Bringing something delicious home to your loved ones will help them tolerate how you don’t call or text enough unless you need money to pay for all these adventures that dopey alumnus Louis got you all excited about.
So there ya have it, folks. This is by no means a complete list but should get you started. Good luck, and God bless.
Louis W. Leonini is a former writer and editor-in-chief of Binghamton Review. His chicken spiedie recipe slaps.
ABCs of Binghamton - 2024
Written by our Staff
Another year, another “ABCs of Binghamton.” These two pages are all you’ll need to navigate the manifold complexities of Binghamton life in 2024. As per tradition, we won’t repeat anything from previous years, so if you still need guidance after these 26 letters, there’s plenty more where this came from. Now let’s make like kindergarteners and learn our “ABCs.”
Alcoholism: A healthy young child goes to doctor, gets pumped with massive shots of many liquors, doesn’t feel good and changes - ALCOHOLISM. Many such cases!
Barbaric: A business major
Career fair: The thing Navy recruiters will desperately beg you to come to through tears
Two-factor authentication: Please get the browser extension on your computer if you haven’t already. It will save you days.
Heaven’s Gate: Where the campus preacher wants to send you.
Ianto Jones: My man my man with a pterodactyl and a robot girlfriend my man my man
Dopamine withdrawal: How life feels in the long breaks between Binghamton Review issues being published.
E.D.: What you’ll inexplicably get halfway through undergrad.
Jorking it: Me rn lol
Ketamine: Must I go on?
Fent heaven: What Harpur’s ferry pulls you out of.
G-spot: Where the gangsters on campus hang out. Right….?
Library smoking spot: In the alcove right of the entrance after the bridge between Lecture Hall and Bartle, it’s the G-spot where all the gangsters hang out.
My mom: She says we can have a sleepover if your mom says it’s okay we can watch Aquamarine does your mom say it’s okay my mom even bought cokes
Target dog: It’s a shame that it got discontinued, though some may not remember it at all due to brainwashing.
Tuggin’ it: You might think this is the same thing as “jorkin’ it,” but believe me, they are two very different things. (It makes it longer)
Nitrous oxide: I LOVE INHALING GALAXY GAS
Ovulation: Why do women keep writing about this and sending it to Binghamton Review?
Union bussin’: Not to be confused with union-busting, is it a commuter’s best friend? Sexiest image in the world? Is your bus arriving at the same time as you do? Oh yeah. You’re dripping.
Viagra: Add this to your plants when they’re wilting. Yes this somehow works.
Premier public ivy: What your parents tell their friends so they don’t feel like they failed.
Weed: The favorite pastime of the room next to yours. Don’t worry about the 2 am fire alarm.
Quaaludes: BRING BACK THEM FUCKING QUAALUDES! ALL YOU YOUNG PEOPLE CAN TAKE ALL YOUR COCAINE, MARIJUANA, AND ALL YOUR DESIGNER DRUGS AND SHOVE ‘EM UP YOUR FUCKING ASS! THERE”S NOTHING LIKE A FUCKING QUAALUDE! (Respect to the Big Man—R.I.P.)
X-Files: You know it, you love it, you recognize our back cover from it. Fangirl.
Reddit readers: Despite their claims to “media literacy,” they can’t help but make hate threads about our “humor”-tagged articles.
Yapping: Your professor’s favorite activity when you’ve shit yourself in class and people are starting to look at you.
Semesters: The fancy, long version of quarters.
Zyn: I find empty packs outside my apartment. God bless UClub. I have never felt less scammed.
Breaking the Sodexo Slop Cycle
By Aiden Miller
Seeing the young and innocent faces of the incoming freshmen is always a sobering sight. Sadly, new students will quickly unearth that one of Binghamton’s most bragged-about accomplishments was a lie: its food.
“The Premier Public Ivy” often touts the vast food options it provides to its hardworking and dedicated student body. From the Kosher Korner to Subway, Harvey Stenger and his cronies peddle how Binghamton University and its food provider Sodexo continuously strive to provide the best possible food for its students. Despite seeking clout from the students, many seasoned veterans know all too well that those words are as hollow as Bush Sr. promising no new taxes. So read my lips when I tell you the school’s administration ain’t telling the truth.
The best way to characterize how returning students feel about their first experience with the food on campus is via a multi-week cycle.
The first week, new students scour campus, looking for new food options or returning to old favorites they discovered during orientation. Many discover the most popular food joints: Mein Bowl, Tully’s, and C4 Dining Hall. Others often trek to places off the beaten path: Appalachian Dining Hall, Garbanzo, and Einstein Bros. (These may be controversial picks).
By the beginning of week two, many new students have hit all the dining halls and Marketplace options (unless you’re a computer science major who hasn’t left their room). As students progress through week two, they start feeling… different The different feeling is often caused by two things: food poisoning or the poisoning of their food. Getting food poisoning at Binghamton is like a rite of passage. You’re not officially a student until your stomach has been tortured worse than an Amy Klobuchar staffer…
As you progress through week two, going to a dining hall has become a slog. Many food options begin to repeat and the food quality plateaus. The options often start to blend together, closely resembling the synthetic Krabby Patties they sold at Krabby O’Monday’s in SpongeBob. In retrospect, Krabby O’Monday’s and Sodexo aren’t that much different from each other; Both have sold out and are selling the slop they call food for triple its retail price!
Now I’m not writing this solely to shit on Sodexo, but they deserve it. I’m really here to write about the true diamond in the rough when it comes to Sodexo Slop. The one food item that will save your stomach in a time of need. A true champion in not giving incoming and returning students food poisoning. Some even refer to it as the Batman of Foods: The DiMaggio. Most New Yorkers hear “DiMaggio” and think of that oldtimey Yankees Hall of Fame baseball player. But when Binghamton University students hear “DiMaggio,” the only thing that comes to mind is the sandwich from NY Deli in the Marketplace. Often, the NY Deli in the Marketplace seems elusive. The choice of reasonably priced sandwiches made with good and fresh ingredients (to Binghamton standards) seems too good to be true.
But why does acquiring a sandwich, specifically the DiMaggio, seem so tough to comprehend? Primarily, two factors contribute: the lack of attention brought to the NY Deli during tours and the draw of the big name brands.
Walking through the Marketplace is like going to the car dealership. They have a range of vehicles from preowned to new luxury cars. Subway and Starbucks are shiny Lamborghinis while NY Deli is the preowned Toyota Corolla with 175,000 miles. At first, the speed and beauty of the Lamborghini will attract the most people, but the beaten-up Corolla will, in the long run, be the best and most reliable. Once a student finally gets over the hump and dares to stand in line at the NY Deli will they finally realize how wrong they were for so long.
But why the DiMaggio? Why not the Rock Street or Avocado Caprese?
Partially its simplicity, but partly because it’s the only option on the menu that Tony Soprano would pick. Let’s just run through how they build the sandwich. The bread is always the star of the show. Freshly baked ciabatta toasted up is the perfect bread to use for this sandwich. The marriage between the crispy bread and savory fillings is wonderful.
Next, let’s talk fillings. The meat of choice for this sandwich is prosciutto. Although quite salty, the pure taste of the meat is to die for. Marrying prosciutto with fresh mozzarella and arugula would have made even Tony Soprano die in peace (he died at the end of the show despite what Tony Truthers say). To top it off, they layer the ciabatta with a layer of pesto mayo so good you could drink it out of a bottle.
Despite this article being more of an ode to the DiMaggio, I hope this opens new students’ eyes to arguably the most reliable food item on campus. I highly encourage you to go and try new things because “life is the spice of variety” or something like that. But let this article serve as a reminder; The DiMaggio will NOT give you food poisoning and unlike your father, who hasn’t returned from getting a pack of cigs at the gas station, will NEVER let you down!
A Brief Dive into the History and Evolution of Food Establishments on Campus
As we kick off a new year at Binghamton University, many of us are falling back into familiar routines: settling into dorms or apartments, navigating campus, and frequenting the dining halls and MarketPlace. For newcomers, it’s a fresh introduction to Binghamton’s dining options, each with its pros and cons. Adjusting to our unique meal plan, which sets us apart from other SUNY schools, is part of the experience and shock for many. With those new to the school exploring the variety of on-campus dining spots, it’s a great time to reflect on how these offerings have evolved over the years.
Many of the dining options on campus are relatively new compared to Binghamton University’s long history, which dates back to 1946. The current Marketplace, for instance, opened in January 2014 after an extensive eighteen-month renovation project. The Chenango Champlain Collegiate Center (C4 dining hall), was completed in 2012 as part of the Binghamton East Campus Housing Project. Additionally, the Hinman dining hall underwent a redesign and reopened in Fall 2021. It is interesting to see how the campus has been modernizing over the past decade while also analyzing and remembering what came before these changes.
It seems for every gain, we also lose something.
The Marketplace, located in the Binghamton University Union, offers a diverse array of dining options, including 2nd Heaven, Boar’s Head Deli, Breakfast and Beyond, Chick-NBap, CopperTop Pizzeria, Hissho Sushi, Mein Bowl, NY Street Deli, Quesera, Royal Indian, Shake Smart, Subway, and Tully’s. Many of these establishments have become staples at Binghamton and are popular places to eat with friends on campus. However, since the 2014 renovation, many restaurants have cycled through the Marketplace. The most recent change was to Red Mango, known for its frozen yogurt, which was replaced by Shake Smart in Fall 2023. Pandini’s was a restaurant replaced by CopperTop in 2017, and Subway took over from SubConnection. Cafe Spice and Moghul Fine Indian Cuisine were replaced by Royal Indian. Tully’s replaced an establishment known as The Diner in 2015. The vegetable-based stations, Garden Toss and Farmer’s Field, eventually became Quesera in 2022. Prior to Quesera, the only Mexican-based restaurant in the Marketplace was Wholly Habaneros which was replaced in 2016 by Chick-N-Bap. Additionally, a convenience store once stood between Hissho Sushi and SubConnection before Subway’s
By Daniel Guido
installation in the MarketPlace. These are just a few examples of the Marketplace’s evolution from 2014 to the present day in 2024. Recent alumni may recall many of these previous dining options from their time at Binghamton.
However,
through all the changes
that occurred with
the
foodstations in the MarketPlace, one thing has remained consistent: Mein Bowl Mary has been going strong for over ten years.
The Marketplace in the Union wasn’t the only dining area to undergo significant changes; the dining halls also experienced major updates, with the most notable being the redesign of Hinman Dining Hall. Before the renovation began in 2019, Hinman featured both a Starbucks and a Subway. These two began operating in 2016 after a grand opening. At that time, Hinman also was a part of the Nite Owl program, the popular late-night option now available only at Appalachian and C4 dining halls. Although the selection at Hinman was relatively limited, Starbucks and Subway operated until midnight. The extensive renovation of the then 55-year-old dining hall has modernized the space, retaining Starbucks and adding new options like Garbanzo Mediterranean Fresh, with Subway being relocated to the MarketPlace in 2019. While the renovation brought a modern dining experience to Hinman College, it also meant the loss of Nite Owl, requiring students to walk to Appalachian or C4 for late-night dining options. It seems for every gain, we also lose something.
This brief overview of the evolution of food options at Binghamton University offers just a glimpse into the many changes that have reshaped the campus landscape over time. Future research could broaden this examination to include other significant changes that have occurred on campus—changes which have made certain parts of campus appear almost unrecognizable to long-time alumni. It would be interesting to hear from students and alumni if they believe some of these changes have been a net benefit or negative. However, through all the changes that occurred with the foodstations in the MarketPlace, one thing has remained consistent: Mein Bowl Mary has been going strong for over ten years.
Thank you to Binghamton Pipe Dream for providing much-needed sources on the topic through past online articles.
Things to Appreciate about Binghamton
The pope is Catholic, bears defecate in the woods, and students gripe about Binghamton and her university.
This isn’t unexpected. Whether it’s here or Harvard, it’s always in fashion to complain and commiserate with others about the thing for which you’re paying five or six figures each year. Virtually all small talk ends in some bemoaning of the weather and its mysterious ways (60 degrees in August?!), the baffling choice to begin construction on major roads after students move in, or the latest story of gross mismanagement at a dorm or off-campus rental. It’s not like these issues are illegitimate, but people easily get carried away. Indulging the “complaining” instinct too often will only stick you and your friends (those that stick around, anyways) in an endless whirlpool of petty grievance. Sooner or later, your only topics of conversation will be on how much things suck. What’s more: your conversation partners will invariably be just as, if not more miserable than you already are—“misery breeds company,” after all.
I speak from some experience here: I’ve spent the past four years in this magazine griping about things that annoyed me in Binghamton, or even things completely outside of Binghamton over which I had no control. (I’d like to memory-hole my foreign policy article for the age of the current Binghamton Review.) In my own small way, I contributed to this cycle of misery on a mass-scale. Negativity sells, and it’s a lot easier to write agitated rather than comfortable.
That’s why I’m writing this article—for the benefit of both freshmen and returning students. Open “pride” in Binghamton seems pretty rare—more often seen in alumni than students themselves. I scarcely see anybody wearing “Bearcat” colors or merchandise. But I don’t think this is necessarily bad. When I talk to alumni, they may not appreciate their alma mater as boisterously as, say, Florida State, but the sentiment is still there— in a more quiet, contented form. This is the spirit that I think more students should have. When you drag yourself out of my aforementioned “whirlpool of petty grievance,” and consider the things that brought you here—as opposed to some other university where you would probably be just as miserable—you’ll find your time in college easier to go through. You’ll find the flaws of this university, while still annoying, diminished in size or importance. You may even decide, like I did, to come back for a graduate degree because you spent more time writing for Binghamton Review than actually deciding on a career path.
The following, therefore, are the things I learned to appreciate in the four (soon to be six) years I’ve spent at Binghamton University. This is not an exhaustive list, but it does contain the things I find most important.
The Cost (for in-state students)
Putting this first may come across as tasteless and more than a little mercenary, but it’s not like Binghamton hides this
By Arthur O’Sullivan
fact. On the east wall of the Union, across from the Admissions Center such that any teen on a tour can read it (assuming the kids can still read and aren’t on their damn TikToks), a banner reads “RIGHT PRICE. PRICELESS RESULTS.” To this, a trustfund Yalie may glance up from his daily mountain of cocaine and scoff at the “Walmart-like” nature of such an advertisement. Such a Yalie can get skull-and-bones’ed.
There are some few people with the funds or ability to attend any university without any financial strain. Chances are, you are not that person. Even I—a guy who grew up in an embarrassingly affluent Westchester suburb during the biggest bull run in the history of the stock market—am not that person. So long as college remains in such high demand, coupled with such great expectations of careers and transferable skills, the vast majority of us will have to appreciate “bang for buck” when we can get it.
And for in-state students, that’s exactly what we receive. Of course, there’s the obvious matter of tuition being only $7,070 for undergraduates, and $11,310 for graduate students. Even for out-of-state and international students, their tuition rates of $26,950 and $24,500 are still just over half of the average private university tuition—an extortionate $42,162. When you look at these figures and consider the recent strides Binghamton has made in research and overall prestige (which will be covered later in this article), “Right Price” starts to seem less like a marketing gimmick and more of an accurate descriptor.
There are less obvious “discounts” to attending this university compared to others. If you’re an in-state student (or a nearby Pennsylvania resident), the ability to drive back to your hometown in under 10 hours saves so much not only in terms of money, but time and stress as well. Meanwhile, as you’re living here, you might notice that off-campus rent and dining is a lot cheaper than, say, New York City. I notice this more as a graduate student, as all of my friends who left academia are now paying more rent than I am for less space and privacy.
The Nature
This remains one of the biggest selling points for Binghamton, and of upstate New York more broadly. Every tour guide, orientation, recruitment seminar etc. mentions the nature preserve and nearby parks, all for good reason. On those uncommon days where the weather is dry and not brutally hot, there’s no other words besides beautiful to describe it. Fall is especially good here, as not only are the cool, dry days most common in this season, but the turning of the leaves across the region is a sight enough to attract numerous tourists.
Now, it’s true that the days of beautiful weather are pretty rare. Rain, snow, and mud are standby small-talk complaints, especially in the “spring.” In my view, however—and this is the most gratifying way to look at it—the rarity of these days makes
them all the more valuable. They always happen to come at just the right time for a morale boost (i.e. all the time in life). So learning to appreciate and take advantage of them will make this life all the better.
The Resources and Opportunities
It’s worse almost everywhere else.
Despite this being one of the most substantial reasons to appreciate Binghamton, I can only write a short summary. Otherwise, this would be a seven-page article listing all of the opportunities I’ve seen. The trouble is that these opportunities are rarely sign-posted—one needs to be in the right place at the right time, know the right people, and be trusted enough to take on these opportunities well.
This is all very generic and not at all helpful, so let me use myself as an example. I signed up for many things in undergrad—arguably too many. Most things naturally dwindled, like my involvement in Model UN or the Board Games Group, whereas a few things started to compound into greater and greater opportunities. Sure, it involved more work, but it was exciting and fulfilling in the moment. Now, you don’t need to end up double-majoring, adding a minor because it seems easy, serving on several non-trivial E-boards and committees, being a TA for a class, and doing undergrad research all at the same time. Doing that led me to be too absorbed in college work and Binghamton life to actually figure out what I wanted to do with the things I was given. Only too late, for instance, did I start taking advantage of career resources like the Fleishman Center or Harpur Edge, or simply conducting informational interviews with people whose careers I found interesting on the internet. (You can do that, by the way. Most people with interesting jobs love to talk about themselves and their work, especially if they feel like they’re mentoring the younger generation.) Of the resources and opportunities I listed, these are the most accessible to everyone here.
To reiterate: good things compound on themselves in college. Clubs, for instance, are much more connected to jobs, careers, and broader organizations than they were in high school (for well-managed ones, at least). Involvement in said clubs, and cross-pollinating your work in one club or class with another, will be much more fruitful than just “getting good grades” and nothing else. And like compound interest, the more time you set for these things, and the more effort you put in at the beginning, the greater the payoff will be at the end. You need to be strategic, however, with what you want that payoff to be. Don’t be afraid to combine disparate interests. The beauty of Binghamton is that it is large enough to offer overwhelming opportunities to those fortunate enough to find them, but small enough also that everyone can, in principle, distinguish themselves from somebody else.
The “Softened Radicalism”
Of the things I listed, this is probably the least generic and most bizarre virtue. When I say “radicalism,” I mean it in a broad ideological sense. For the past four years I’ve been covering political events at Binghamton University and the surrounding community from my own center-right perspective. There’s no mistaking that this is a quite left-wing institution. College Dem-
ocrats meetings can fill lecture halls; College Republicans meetings can’t fill the thimble piece in Monopoly. Binghamton Review used to be almost exclusively conservative, with the occasional libertarian popping up. Now it’s a “free speech magazine” with a rough left-right balance. This is not to mention the incidents of professors like Ana Maria Candela and Dara Silberstein having their classes engage in “progressive stacking” and pro-choice activism in their classes, with most students either in agreement, apathy, or too timid to openly object (for fear of retaliation, perception of being “that guy,” or otherwise being exposed in a crowd). As my previous writing has made clear, I think that the political culture on campus is stifling and unhealthy, and I will not consider it a thing to appreciate in itself (unless of course you’re of the political persuasion that luxuriates in being the uncontested viewpoint).
But there I go complaining again. Truth is, I don’t have a “positive” thing to say about it, but there is one thing to appreciate. To the right-wing student reading this: it’s worse almost everywhere else. (Well, I can’t say “everywhere.” I’m sure there are obscure colleges somewhere without any noticeable politics, or whose right-wing slant is as palpable as our own on the left. However, this is the biggest university I know of where decent checks-and-balances exist or are being formed against the overbearing left-culture.)
Take the issue of Israel and Palestine, for instance. For the past year, I’ve been covering the issue (from my admittedly biased perspective) as it unfolded on campus, from last October’s “rally against terror” to the late Spring’s encampment. While I found that both sides had said and done stupid things in their activism, I still found the left’s to be more harmful or obnoxious. Still, in all my coverage, I found there wasn’t anything close to the violence at the UCLA encampments, where a pro-Israel counterprotestor was reportedly shoved to the ground and concussed and a different counterprotestor threw a firecracker into a makeshift tent. Several other universities canceled classes and graduation due to the chaos. Yes, Binghamton can be annoying in its politics, but we’re not this bad. We haven’t been anywhere near it since the Art Laffer debacle in 2019. (And even that didn’t see any injuries.)
Finally, there are new initiatives that aim to make Binghamton’s campus healthier and freer for political expression. Trevor Fornara and I have been working on the Student Summit on Political Engagement, in which the major political organizations on campus sit down and organize events and statements such as the Great Debate series that takes place every fall. We hope to show that one can publicly express their political views without a lightning bolt coming from on high and destroying them.
Conclusion
Gratitude is the virtue that saves sanity, more than anything else. Actively practicing it, even when things are grim, will leave you so much better than ruminating in that whirlpool of misery that I so warned against. I listed just a few things for which I’m grateful, and I hope that you can do the same— whether in Binghamton or anywhere else in life.
Strange Darling: As Good as They Say?
J.T.
Mollner’s 2023 mainstream debut, Strange Darling, is a phenomenal rendition of the horror genre. It did quite well in the Film Festival Circuit and was just given a limited theatrical release on August 23rd. While it may not be able to beat other films of its kind at the box office, like Alien: Romulus (August 19th) or even Tilman Singer’s German/American production, Cuckoo (August 9th), neither of them have gotten the respect and praise that Strange Darling has. This praise is not, however, given because Mollner’s film is a ‘masterpiece’ as some have called it—it isn’t a masterpiece. The overwhelming praise is instead derived from the fact that every other film in contemporary Hollywood is so fecal that their development might as well be considered a venial sin. So when critics actually see something in theaters that isn’t so magnificently foul, they give it praise in the same way a lifelong prisoner would treat a mediocre, home-cooked meal. Mediocre-home-cooked-meal films include Everything Everywhere All At Once (no, it isn’t that good), Top Gun: Maverick, and, even though it isn’t a film, Amazon’s The Boys Strange Darling is different in that it actually might be as good as many say it is.
Reacher’s Willa Fitzgerald realizes she may have made a mistake in her choice of partner for the evening.
The film depicts the “true story” of a serial killer’s cat-andmouse chase of our protagonist, and any explanation of the plot is best left as that. “The Demon” and “The Lady” are played by Kyle Gallner and Willa Fitzgerald, respectively, and both give magnificent performances at times. As most others will say, it’s best for audiences to go into the film rather blind. This approach won’t give you a spiritual experience as some might say, but much of one’s enjoyment will probably be derived from the twists in Mollner’s script.
Shot in 35mm print by photographer/actor Giovanni Ribisi, the film stands out from others immediately. Mollner has
By Victor Ostling
said that the opening shot of The Lady running, bloody and beaten, towards the camera was a universal image of the ‘final girl’ in slasher films. Many analyses of the film call it a reinvention of the ‘final girl’ trope, but that’s really just scratching the surface of what Strange Darling is trying to say.
In an industry where, in order for any script to be greenlit, it must in some way be a deconstruction, this film is refreshing in that it is legitimately subversive: just not in the way many would think. Through its use of harsh red and blue colors, music cues and non-linear story telling, the film doesn’t tell the audience what it should think morally, but what it presumably already does. It then proceeds to flip that notion on its head. What the audience gets is a story that is ultimately about dehumanization. This critique of the audience’s inclinations was most likely meant to be a universal lesson rather than the political, surface level themes of many so-called ‘deep’ films. And yet, if one pays attention to Strange Darling’s theme, they may be able to detect a slight tinge of conservatism regardless of Mollner’s intentions. Whatever the case may be, this film has something to say that you haven’t heard a million times. On top of this, it’s impressive on a mere technical and storytelling level. As the audience likely tries to figure out just what the hell is actually going on, every scene provides some degree of answers and a greater degree of tension. In short, there is no shot in the film that will give you a reason to look away; you will likely always be glued to the screen.
If you have any spare time and can afford it, take the RRT to AMC Vestal Town Square 9 and watch Strange Darling while you still can. There is nothing else playing at the moment that will give you as good—or at least as unique—of a 90 minute experience as this will.
A coked up Kyle Gallner scans for his prey
I Was in a MrBeast Video
By Angelo DiTocco
Over the past few years, the name “MrBeast” has become synonymous with battle royale style competitions, expansive philanthropic projects, and extremely large sums of money. As the biggest YouTuber to ever exist, the man behind the channel, Jimmy Donaldson, seemed invincible. But that all changed in late July of this year when he was suddenly slapped in the face with a never-ending stream of allegations by former employees: running illegal lotteries, scamming children, rigging contests, nepotism, mistreating his workers, and having not one, but two pedophiles on his team. Although I find this unlikely to be the end of MrBeast’s career, he is still in some hot water.
Now, I’m not going to pretend to be the most informed person on the situation, but this drama is quite intriguing to me because I was actually in one of his videos. Though, I didn’t have the kind of role you’d expect. I didn’t participate in any contests, nor did I receive money or any kind of prize. I didn’t even get to see Jimmy in the flesh. In fact, the part I played in this MrBeast video was one that brought with it only mockery and copyright infringement accusations. You see, although MrBeast is known for his over-the-top editing and production value, his content used to be vastly different. To show you, I’ll need to take you back to a simpler time.
The year was 2017. Trump had just taken office, every radio station was simultaneously playing “Shape of You” on repeat, and replacement remixes like “We Are Number One” were all the rage within the memescape. I was smack in the middle of 8th grade. MrBeast’s channel at this time was a lot more humble. Although there was still a partial focus on extreme spending and wacky stunts, it was way more realistic. For example, “Tipping Pizza Delivery Guys $100” and “Counting To 100,000 In One Video” are things the average person could do if they really wanted to. The production value was much closer to that of the average YouTuber, and his subscriber count was a relatively modest 1 million.
Jimmy also had an ongoing series called “Worst Intros on YouTube.” The formula was simple: he’d play a poorly made intro by a small YouTuber, make a joke about it, and repeat that for a few minutes. Perhaps the bad intro in question was a seizure-inducing flash of colors around a bouncing 3D text block, or perhaps it was a kid holding a piece of paper up to the camera with his name on it. The series would later be discontinued and eventually scrubbed from Jimmy’s channel as a whole in an effort to sanitize his public image. But I liked the “Worst Intros” series as well as Jimmy’s other content at the time, so I was subscribed to him (Where’s my cookie?).
One afternoon, I got home from school, finished my homework like a good boy, and then went on YouTube to see that MrBeast had uploaded a new video: “The Worst Intros On Youtube #65 *cringe*.” And what do I see almost two minutes into the video? My own intro!
Now, I didn’t make this intro to be genuine. It was on a viral shitpost of mine—a satirical Top 10 list video that I had made a month earlier. But Jimmy either didn’t notice that or
didn’t care, so he proceeded to play the intro and make a joke about me stealing WatchMojo’s homework.
I didn’t care that I was in a “Worst Intros” video. In fact, it was kind of an honor to me. But soon after, my video got flooded with comments from MrBeast’s viewers. Many of them were just pointing out what had happened, but others actually took my video seriously and decided to send hate comments.
“do a normal intro you fucker,” said one random commenter. “Make your own intro fat big fat fat fat,” said another. “why did you =put [sic] your name over watch mojo chanel [sic] dick head,” said yet another. This was my first insight into how young and impressionable MrBeast’s fanbase was at the time—perhaps a foreshadowing of what was to come.
To make a long story short, these comments eventually subsided, MrBeast moved on to more extravagant, professional content, and as a result, I unsubscribed. Then I blinked and he had over 200 million subscribers all of a sudden.
Whether it be your favorite TV show or your favorite restaurant, seeing something you love turn to shit is never a good feeling. That’s why it’s such a shame that MrBeast abandoned his more humble roots. His mission to become the biggest YouTuber ever required more than just increasing the prize money and upgrading the equipment—it also meant getting rid of his personality as a whole. The carefree, edgy teenager filming himself in his room evolved into “WHOEVER STAYS INSIDE THIS BALL STRETCHER MACHINE THE LONGEST WINS 100,000 DOLLARS.” His overstimulating editing style came to be known as “brainrot,” and his young audience probably got even younger. If he had stayed true to himself instead, I doubt he would have gotten himself into the trouble he’s in now.
I can tell that I’m not the only one to have this opinion; others have set out to cancel MrBeast in the past, albeit unsuccessfully. Specifically, when Jimmy paid for 1000 blind people’s sight-restoring surgery and had 100 wells built in Africa, some people claimed that his content was exploitative of those in need despite all the good deeds he’d done. I don’t personally agree with this view, but I can see why they’re so eager to go after him. I don’t want a guy who makes soulless, corporate slop to be the face of YouTube either. But that’s just how things are, so I guess we’ll just have to deal with it.
Oh yeah, and I’ve also tried the MrBeast Burger as well as the Feastables candy bars. They were both MID!
