December 2006 - Binghamton University by Binghamton Review

November/December 2006

Binghamton Review The Student Journal at Binghamton University

G O F UCK Y OURSELF, B INGHAMTON U NIVERSITY

Binghamton Reviewâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s free speech issue Truth and Two Staples

Binghamton Review The Student Journal at Binghamton University Founded 1987 o Volume XX Number 3 o November/December 2006

DEPARTMENTS

“All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing .” -Edmund Burke Editor-in-Chief Christopher Powell Managing Editor Thomas Shannon Business Manager Nathaniel Sugarman Treasurer Michael Calabrese

Editorial: Barry Goldwater wants to challenge you.

Presswatch: BU’s newest celebrity.

Letters: Our crazy readers; they love us and they hate us.

Centerfold: BR writers debate legalization

CONTENTS

Layout Editor Jeff Lichtman

Adam Smith thinks BU could find some life yet.

Steve Chung thinks the problem is you.

Carmine Sislano wants to know how tough you are.

Contributors Michael Alliance, Christopher Juergens, Louis W. Leonini, Harris Ringelheim, Michael Rose, Jeremy Zenilman

Dassarri warns of Congress’s greatest deception.

John Holmes tells you how to treat real ladies.

Friends of the Review The Aronoff Family Dr. Aldo S. Bernardo Mr. Anthony Carlone Sr. Mr. Michael J. Hayes The Janovsky Family Mr. Robert Larnerd The Leonini Family Mr. Michael O’Connell The Kaufman Family Mr. Tony Potochniak The Powell Family Mr. Conrad Ross Mr. Robert Soltis

HIRIV exposes a biased professor.

David Ricardo returns to warn students of SA impropriety.

Staff Writers Arielle Deutsch, Megan Donahue, Dylan Lainhart, Harrison Salzman, Nathaniel Sugarman, Thomas Shannon.

Binghamton Review is printed by Our Press, in Chenango Bridge. We provide the truth; they provide the staples. Binghamton Review

Binghamton University PO Box 6000 Binghamton, NY 13902-6000 binghamtonreview@yahoo.com

Binghamton Review is a monthly, independent journal of news, analysis, commentary, and controversy. Students at Binghamton University receive two copies of the Review free of charge (non-transferrable). Additional copies cost $1 each. Letters to the Editor are welcome; they must be accompanied by the author’s current address and phone number. All submissions become the property of the Review. The Review reserves the right to edit and print any submission. Copyright © 2006 Binghamton Review. All rights reserved. Binghamton Review is distributed on campus under the authority of the First Amendment of the United States Constitution. Binghamton Review is a member of the Collegiate Network and is a Student Association-chartered organization. Binghamton University is not responsible for the content of the Review; the Review is not responsible for the content of Binghamton University. Binghamton Review thanks the Intercollegiate Studies Institute. Past Editors of Binghamton Review : John Guardiano, Yan Rusanovsky, Kathryn Doherty, Ephriam Bernstein, Michael Malloy, Paul Schnier, Adam Bromberg, Bernadette Malone, Michael Darcy, Nathan Wurtzel, Amy Gardner, John Carney, Paul Torres, Jason Kovacs, Robert Zoch, Matthew Pecorino, Michael O’Connell, Louis W. Leonini, Joseph Carlone

Binghamton Review, November/December 2006

EDITORIAL

Say What You Want

sn’t it funny the way being flat out offensive to to the titty-bar it is important that everyone is exposed some one earns their attention more quickly to conflicting ideals and opinions. How can any perthen just about anything else. In this month’s son be confident in his or her values, beliefs, or ideals issue of Binghamton Review we have decided to if they have never been challenged to defend them push the envelope, to go a little further, and to put the against a worthy opponent? entire English language at our disposal. That’s right; Binghamton Review aims to provide students with you’re now entering a free speech zone. that exposure to a different arsenal of ideas. Every Not every article in here is going tell you about month BR staffers and contributors explore a host of why we think it’s important for papers to have the right different issues (free format Op-Ed, baby) and, typicalto tell people to fuck off…but several touch upon the ly, provide students with views of campus, national, or importance of some important personal freedoms that personal politics that they could never expect to find sometimes seem to be forgotten or ignored. It has anywhere else within the halls of Binghamton often been said that freedom of speech is the father of University. all freedoms, for without the ability to express one’s The goal of Binghamton Review, unlike the goal of self a person can never protect or enjoy any of his lib- several BU professors, is not to intimidate others into erties. Consider that statement and then think of how agreement with our beliefs. Our goal is to challenge often you see people in your daily lives whose freedom readers to explore their own values, ideals, and opinare intruded upon. ions; we want students to consider the world twenty Sure, the intrusion into personally liberties might years in the future. Where do you see yourself? Where not be stifling or crippling. Maybe it’s simply the do you see your country? Where do you see the globbiased enforcement of some normal rule or a snide atti- al community? Although I’m sure the Experimental tude someone ‘in power’ exudes towards a dissenter. Media Organization just exercised the power of hyperTake the example of your class’s token conservative. bole to explore a world where ‘American workers Every class on this campus (even most sociology work in sweatshops that are buried two hundred feet courses) has one. Think of how many times he or she underground to protect us from the daily nuclear bomwas belittled, silenced, or rebuffed for expressing a bardment we receive from the countries we were mean view that conflicted with the professor. What’s impor- to, or like something…’, but those we’re not expecting tant about those exchanges is that they do not merely miracles. What we at Binghamton Review are asking impact the freedom of the speaker, but the freedom of is simply that you consider the types of values, behaveveryone in the room. Leftist professor’s attempts to iors, and policies that are required to develop into a stifle dissenting opinions rob every student on this good person, to maintain the high ideals upon which campus of important thoughts and views that are vital America was founded, and to try and reach a more harto obtaining a meaningful, balanced education. This monious, productive global community. truth is one of the largest inspirations for Binghamton Do you believe that Congress’s attempts to remove Review’s nearly twenty years of existence. weapons from the hands of law-abiding citizens will In this issue one of our writers actually takes improve life in the future? Do you think only exposrevenge against a professor who silenced him by ing our young (that’s us) to a single ideology will help insulting his beliefs, ignoring his requests to speak, and America to re-capture our competitive advantages and relentlessly attacking another student for her opinion. move confidently into the future? Do you believe that This story provides one of the classic examples of left- attempting to protect our citizens from themselves will ist bias: the compensator. So go ahead, read on and improve the ‘experience’ that they have while on earth you will find the story of a professor who believed that (we used to call it ‘living’)? Regardless of what you his (unquestionable) beliefs were not represented well think of the next 21 pages, I encourage you to considenough in mainstream America, so he attempted to er what our writers say with an open mind. Then concompensate by providing students with hours a week sider the fact that each article has been published under of biased rants. But that’s only the beginning. a pseudonym for fear that our writers will be punished Binghamton Review writers also consider another for utilizing one of their American freedoms to combat freedom that is very dear to college students (and per- people we deal with on campus. It is shameful to think haps considered a vital part of a college education to that some one should be forced to speak from a pseusome), the freedom to toke. Two of the best writers on donym here in America. After all, I challenge you to campus square off to explore why marijuana should or make a cogent argument that freedom of speech is not shouldn’t be (as well as why it isn’t) legal. the most important freedom…if you think you’ve sucRegardless of what readers think of the Assault ceeded come try it out at the next BR meeting. Weapons Ban, the erection (I know this is a free speech issue, but that is not what I’m referring to) of memori-Barry Goldwater als to students, Sodexho, marijuana, or weekend trips Binghamton Review, November/December 2006

PRESSWATCH

One Student’s Triumphant Quest to Bring National Embarrassment Home by the Editors of Binghamton Review

n Monday, November 27th, 2006 Binghamton University received our latest example of ridiculous national press. That Monday campus freedom fighter/typical unclean, hippie, asshole Aaron Akaberi appeared on The Daily Show as an embarrassing example of just how bad a Binghamton University student could look. Aaron basically admitted that he was taking up a relatively noble cause; he was attempting to buck Sodexho’s campus monopoly and receive exemption from his meal plan. However, Aaron decided that he would need a real reason, such as religious opposition, to stand a chance at getting his exemption. Being a religious Jew was not enough to get Aaron exemption as Sodexho works hard to provide both kosher and halal foods for students. Aaron decided to find a new religion. Religion is a serious personal question that requires a significant amount of reflection and must be sufficiently compatible with one’s personality traits if it is to truly lead one to peace. Aaron took time to seriously find a religion that would work with his own beliefs, and finally found one. By combining to of his favorite pastimes, smoking up and not showering, Aaron discovered the world of Rastafarianism. He believed that the highly restrictive diets that are detailed in Rastafarian texts would

WORDS OF WISDOM: “I MAY DISAGREE WITH WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY, BUT I SHALL DEFEND, TO THE DEATH, YOUR RIGHT TO SAY IT.”

-VOLTAIRE

certainly provide him with religious objection to his meal plan; everyone knows what happened from there. Aaron was called onto The Daily Show to defend himself and exploit Sodexho as an oppressive organization that infringed upon his religious freedoms. Instead, he looked like the spoiled, baked asshole that we all knew and loved. Aaron was ridiculed by the interviewer for being (presumably) high throughout the interview. He also spaced out midsentence…repeatedly. Sadly enough he was unable to even defend the ‘significance of the herb’ in Rastafarian religion, further embarrassment for a “follower” who seems to only respect that sacrament. In the end Aaron admitted that his entire campaign for freedom from Sodexho was “probably bullshit” and alluded to the fact that he simply did not want to pay for a meal plan that he had no interest in using. In the end it was just another example of another ignorant student who resorted to victim politics because he was unable to challenge the university’s policies on an intellectual level. Aaron, the only victims in this story are your parents, who must now defend the actions of their son to anyone with cable television. Check the interview out at www.comedycentral.com

Binghamton Review, November/December 2006

LETTERS

We at Binghamton Review always appreciate letters from our readers, whether they be filled with hate and rage or admiration and appreciation. Unfortunately, this is our first letter of the year, but at least it’s a good one. I’d like to thank Meghan for taking the time to write to us, and I look forward to receiving many more letters as the year goes on. Don’t Profile I enjoy reading the Binghamton Review and I am usually impressed by the intellectual manner in which the contributing writers discuss their topics. However, I read your editorial in the Halloween issue of the Binghamton Review and I would like to correct you on one point. The Black Student Union and The African Student Organization are not the same. The Black Student Union is for students who share a similar skin tone and partake in activities and dialogue related to the effects of having that skin tone. Students from the African Student Organization share a connection with a geographic location. Africa has many white people and many black people share a connection with a country that is not in Africa. These groups do not share the same purpose and it is fair for them to receive separate budgets. Thanks for your time, Meghan O’Sullivan

Binghamton Review: “Where the real debate on campus takes place”

Positions available: Conservatives, Objectivists, Libertarians, writers, cartoonists, debaters, and all lovers of liberty, justice, and the American way. Join Binghamton Review and become part of the class publication at Binghamton University! Weekly Meetings: Thursdays, 9 P.M. in our office, WB05 (basement of the New Union below the food court). e-mail binghamtonreview@yahoo.com Binghamton Review, November/December 2006

LEADERSHIP

Gray Skies, Binghamton Lies De-Bunking the “Binghamton Sucks” Myth by Adam Smith

ou’ve heard it before. It’s an old story. Some student pens an editorial or makes a public statement to the effect that “Binghamton sucks.” Then cometh the howls from student activists who scream that the real enemy is “student apathy” (but interestingly, don’t disagree with the assertion that Binghamton does in fact, well, suck.) It’s a tired dance, I agree. But let’s examine it and come to some conclusion once and for all. Why does Binghamton “suck?” More appropriately, what does Binghamton University seem to be lacking that gives us such a sense of permanent malaise? The answer is clear: spontaneity. There is nothing out of the ordinary about Binghamton University. We have a good enough reputation; students generally attend class and go out on weekends. Many of us form friendships that last a pretty long time. Ok, maybe we’re uglier than other campuses, maybe it snows a bunch every year, and maybe our professors are a bit wacky and unrefined. Most of us generally agree with all these assertions, especially the ugly one. Don’t know what I’m talking about? Perhaps you haven’t noticed the parade of shapeless, unmanly and slothful Long Island boys in sweaty, stained flip-flops in 20 degree weather flopping to class after just waking up from a poisonous mushroom binge. Or per-

haps you forgot last night when you traveled downtown and noticed that most of the girls need to get it through their heads that the mere fact that they are wearing very little doesn’t make them attractive. The thought that none of us want to see their freshman fifteen (or fifty) on grand display rolling over their beltline at the Rat while we guzzle pitchers of nameless beer never occurs to them. You know, the kind of ugly that makes you want to scream

The Union has so much red tape it makes the ghost of Che Guevara giggle like a giddy Catholic school girl on her way to be fondled by her groping public school boyfriend. “earth to downtown kissing-slut: Hunny, not even copious amounts of this nameless beer is gonna put me anywhere near under your sheets tonight! You may be wearing Gucci, Prada and Coach, but the size of your ass has its own brand name--Mack truck! Why don’t you go show your “rolls” to the pizza delivery guy that delivers your dinner rolls every night at 4pm after I’ve already rejected you!” But I digress …

In regards to spontaneity, Binghamton University lacks it. Many of us may already realize this when we criticize the administration for an unimaginative alcohol policy, or when we oppose the add/drop deadline. These fights have been raging for a few years now. They both have produced a wealth of crying and screaming, not to mention editorials, proclamations, and letters (all in vain), but neither of these issues seems to get at the heart of the matter. There is a fundamental governing philosophy at the highest levels of this university which will always ensure that all things fun, imaginative, and spontaneous are rather impossible. Quite simply—it’s not that Lois and Co. want us to suffer, it’s just that their policies make it impossible for us not to. Lois and Co. make every effort to stifle spontaneity on campus by placing obstacles all over the place. Ever wonder why there are empty shops in the new union? No one in their right and sober mind would open there, that’s why. The University Union places so much of a burden on its tenants that profit, and thus the normal execution of daily business, is impossible. “Profit” is a dirty word on this campus. This is so much so that you need a “contract” to do business. One of the commonly perceived villains on campus is Sodexho, our fine friends who serve us quality meats and veggies

Binghamton Review, November/December 2006

7 in numerous locations on campus. They seem to have cornered the market for symbols that represent why Binghamton sucks so much. The common image for Sodexho, at least among our more liberal friends on campus, is one of a lowquality, corporate punk who’s desire for our cash is unyielding and immoral. This is a ridiculous perception. Of course they want our cash, they are a business. Without cash they cannot operate. Whatever “evil” comes from their existence on campus is not wholly their fault, but can be blamed on the administration. Why? One word--contracts. Lois and Co. love to screw us through their exercise of negotiating contracts. When the bidding for food contracts began on campus a couple of years back, it was made plain by the administration that restrictions and requirements would be placed on whatever entity decided to be stupid enough to do business on our campus. First—they had to maintain and operate a dining hall in every community, regardless of whether it operated at a loss. Secondly, certain dining halls would have to remain open, even during vacation or times when there are few students on campus. These are rather extreme. No wonder Sodexho was the only business that bid on the contract. We should be thanking them, not vilifying them. This self-destructive behavior follows a pattern for Lois and co. Binghamton’s administration loves to create a chilly climate for growth, and then stand idly by while everyone complains about the businesses, but not the underlying problem. The problem is not

the Sodexho people, or the M&T people, or the Coca-Cola people…it’s the Lois people. Now with this in mind, is it any wonder that our University Union is barren? It should come as no surprise if you’ve read to this point or if you have taken an economics class or two. The Union has so much red tape it makes the ghost of Che Guevara giggle like a giddy catholic school girl on her way to be fondled by her groping public school boyfriend. According to the “rules,” the only for-profit enterprise currently allowed in the Union is a barber. That is only because of history—back in Binghamton’s heyday there was a barber and a bar in the Union. Now that both are gone, the Union is full of prison furniture and unshaven philosophy students constantly “discovering” themselves in the publication wing or that strange, smelly connection between the old and new Union, perhaps. Either way, I think you get the point. It’s boring. It needs life. What is the solution? Something close to “free trade” in the Union would help. The University can open the doors of the Union to competition. This would mean that we would no longer have to deal with the hassle of going off campus for food, or having it delivered by questionable characters in the dead of night. The administration’s opposition to this proposal is actually very odd. They would stand to benefit from rent or lease fees and could wind up using that money to hire or retain quality instructors. In fact, it’s plausible that if this measure is taken, the Union could actually

stay open longer, and make more money and offer more choices for students. Anyone who truly cares about students and about their happiness would not deny them an environment full of choice in the building on campus that was built specifically to serve their whims. The only variable in this is Sodexho, who could rightly complain that this would be a violation of their contract. They have a monopoly granted to them, unfortunately. But the solution to that is simple as well. Renegotiate the contract. Don’t make them open and maintain dining halls they don’t want to, and let them charge fair market price for their product. Let Sodexho compete, and everyone wins. In short, Binghamton University need not be a place only for snow lovers and non-happenings. But let’s be clear where the blame needs to be directed. It’s the policies of our campus administration that disallow fun, not anything else. BU could be a cool place if Lois tried harder. Or, more appropriately, tried less. It is often with the most utopian vision that our leaders render the most third-world results. A little more Laissez-faire, and a little less paternalism seems to be just what the doctor ordered. -Adam Smith is a Binghamton University Alumni. Believe it or not he actually enjoyed his four years here in seedy Binghamton.

Binghamton Review, November/December 2006

SOCIAL JUSTICE

Flagellating For Equality Think About What You’re Protesting by Steve Chung

have only one problem with Sodexho: they don’t serve enough balls. That’s right. Balls. Big, bouncing hairy bull’s balls. Because sometimes I think I’m the only one with testicular fortitude on campus, and these poor kids have to get a pair of testes somewhere. Oh, wait, I’m sorry, that was sexist and chauvinistic of me. Because in this context I obviously refer to “balls” as a sign of strength, and that would mean that I’m subscribing to the paternalistic mindset that places women in a position of weakness or inferiority to the over-lording penis. A thousand apologies, I’ve probably made some poor girl cry with my abusive masculine-centered femophobic words. I’m going to protest myself, and hold a hunger strike until I stop being such a hate monger who likes to slap women and pee in the soda fountains. Take THAT, me! When did everyone start becoming so hypersensitive to every single offense? That every thing would throw people in a tizzy of rage or cause feelings of violation and oppression? Is it really that we want to educate people, or that we want to continually place ourselves in the role of a victim, aligning ourselves with our former, oppressed, idealized ancestors? And seriously, some of you are so hard pressed to find injustice, whether it be racism or homophobia or anti Semitism or fursecution wherever you go I honestly doubt you’ve ever heard an actual skinhead spew their acidic verbal diarrhea. You’re so full of

energy, trying to find the slightest infraction wherever you go that the tiniest thing can be twisted in your wormy little brains faster than a parent will sue a school after their son gets bitten by a rattlesnake during gym class. “Buh like, by making fun of our social activism and calling us overused douchebags you’re totally denying the pervading underlying constructs of our country favoring the majorities, you

dropped a cinderblock on it (I’m looking at you, Prussian Blue). I don’t think many people who actually think about social constructs can believe that everyone is “equal”. We all know some people are more hated than others and some people get a hell of a lot more shit than others because they aren’t like the rest of “us”. We don’t need awareness and we certainly won’t educate anyone about social ills by hyperbolizing the horrors of injustice in Do you people under- “Amerikkkan” society. By the way, Adam stand that you wanted Friedman, I would like to thank you personally, because although I to censor something knew I had white privilege (well, technically “white”, because because you thought it not you so lovingly sort out Jews from was racist? Like, really. whites from non-white…just like skinheads do, but that’s another You wanted to censor story) I didn’t know how many privileges I was privy to. The other day I stole a car and threw a art. Congrats. cinderblock on the gas pedal as I kitten-fister!” No. That’s your drove down the highway, but I freaky little monkey-on-horsewasn’t sure how fast I was going steroids brain twisting logic again, because I was too busy shooting looking to make more straw vicoutside my window with a shotgun tims and villains as you feverishly as a dead hooker trailed behind my light them on fire and masturbate car a la just-married. Just as I was over the flames. I deny underlying about to get pulled over by a cop, I inequality as much as the remembered your advice and manPrisoner’s Support Network relish- aged to drive past a nice black es the tears of a 5 year old girl family in their Volvo just returning making university furniture for 6 from a church-funded Meals-Oncents a day in Indonesia so incarWheels program so, of course, the cerated minorities can go back to cop pulled them over instead. shanking each other. I honestly do Thanks Adam! not know a single person that How can a photo taken in thinks the odds are loaded in the the fifties cause misrepresentation favor of minorities, unless your of Africa in the present? Why mother accidentally dropped you does an issue always have to be on the head and then accidentally about complete prejudice and

Binghamton Review, November/December 2006

9 hatred if it deals with a minority element? First of all, the intellectual communities have no damn say on whether an art collection should be shown or not. Do you people understand that you wanted to censor something because you thought it was racist? Like, really. You wanted to censor art. Congrats. Then you were angry because there were no forums that were being held, no education that was being offered in respect to the exhibit? Screw you! Civil injustice requires effort, damn it! People don’t need to be “taught” to handle this kind of art, because how is it different from any other kind of art! When I went to a Richard Avedon exhibit I certainly didn’t see any intellectual forums on the social constructs of the man-covered-in-bees, or chickwith-rattlesnake-guts-on-her-overalls. Oh wait, they were white…never mind. Hell, imagine

if Avedon had gotten a black beekeeper for that photograph. I can just see it now “Famous Racist Photographer Implies Lynching Is Not Effective Anymore: Use Bees Instead”. And if this is the kind of reaction you people have for any kind of art collection that may offend someone, then I sure as hell don’t want you in an organization deciding what art is acceptable. Better nix the Foucault exhibit, pipe-smokers might get pissed. Does a swastika really need a hate march? I’m really wondering what the march against hate did. Did the level of hate go from “Orange” to “Yellow” at Binghamton University? Personally, I figured it was just some drunken asshole before we caught the culprit, who, if his story is true, is the only real damn victim in the entire situation. Minorities (and I’m including

myself here) have to understand that people will hate us for no justifiable or intelligent reason, and screaming “hate”, writhing around on the floor like a victim, or walking across a campus is not going to do anything to stop it. The only hate and contempt I see bred on this campus comes from people who are frustrated at others who pretend to be victims crying over how horrible it is to be a hated minority and claiming everyone that isn’t their minority secretly hates them and they once got a dirty look because they were a minority and blah blah. Maybe people are mean to you and it has nothing to do with the fact that you’re a minority. Maybe you just suck. -Steve Chung has finally been freed, so you can stop demanding it all over the city side-

Binghamton Review, November/December 2006

CENTERFOLD

This issue’s centerfold is a point - counterpoint debate about college’s favorite subject, legalization! Two BR veterans square off in a discussion of why marijuana should or should not be legalized as well as current barriers to legalization. Many of you probably have a vested interest in this discussion, (I’m looking you’re way, CIW) so read on and feel free to shoot us a letter or even an article regarding your stance on the issue; Aaron Akaberi need not apply.

Preventing Self Destruction Why Those Who Want Legal Marijuana Stand to Lose the Most by Peter Stuyvesant he fruits of progress have never been more hollow. Textbooks will one day unequivocally show, as my buddies from high school have already amply proven, that the exposure of rural whites to rap music was the greatest cultural disaster in human history. That insight is what animates my defense of marijuana’s illegality. To quote Denis Leary: “they say marijuana leads to other drugs. No, it leads to fucking carpentry! That’s the problem.” Try finding a construction worker who doesn’t smoke pot. It’s a little bit tougher than you might think, even on sites that require drug tests. To be sure, lunchtime at the worksite is a considerably different experience than toking up in the Nature Preserve (“no one will catch us there”). The point is that for every (alleged) genius pothead there are at least ten potheads who’ve wrecked their brain in order to cope with the fact that they hang drywall for a living. Two people have told me repeatedly over the years that smoking dope “opens up your mind.” One is a construction worker. The other is on his sixth year in pursuit of a B.A.

Beyond the age of 25, the unholy foursome of Cigarettes, Weed, Booze, and Lottery Tickets (CWBLT) function primarily to keep the poor poor, the lazy content, and the fuck-ups fucked up. Legalizers love to point out the costs associated with incarcerating dope dealers. Likewise, their eyes light up at the thought of regulating (read: taxing) marijuana just like the rest of CWBLT. I ask you: who is the real aggrandizer of government? The social effects of marijuana legalization are unknowable which should make everyone hesitant to believe grandiose promises of drug-related crime melting away. Anyone who has strolled through the intestines of Binghamton while the temperature was above 32 degrees Fahrenheit knows that marijuana and other drug dealers and addicts are only part of the problem. However, conditions there can certainly be made worse through bad ideas. Ideas made ubiquitous by the left wing bourgeoisie (think: free love) often have their most disastrous effects on the lowest rungs of society. I’ve seen nothing to persuade me that marijuana legalization is

any different. Adding legal and relatively cheap marijuana to a society where the MTV-dominated pop culture glorifies drug use and other pathologies is not high up on my to-do list. Those who think the demand curve for pot would stay put post-legalization would likely also deny the fall of man. In 1997, Theodore Dalrymple wrote “surely we have already slid down enough slippery slopes in the last thirty years without looking for more such slopes to slide down.” The marijuana legalization movement, like the homosexual marriage movement, is less about libertarian principle and more about destroying social norms through legislation. In both cases, a victory for the proponents would be permanent and very nearly irreversible. Rural whites and urban blacks, made culturally indistinct by MTV, will most heavily bear the burden of legalization, empty prisons, and efficiency in the marijuana market. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got some sheet rock to hang. -Peter Stuyvesant was offered more money, but $20 an hour made budgeting easier.

Binghamton Review, November/December 2006

Chronic Problem How Hippies Ruin Marijuana For the Rest of Us by Jerry Garcia

he issue of marijuana legalization has not always been one which concerned me. However, I have recently come to the realization that marijuana should be legal for a variety of reasons, and I wanted to find out why such a seemingly insignificant plant possesses such a strong stigma. As pro-marijuana organizations claim, alcohol consumption is associated with more crimes that marijuana. Cigarettes are more dangerous to smoke, that is, unless the marijuana is laced, which is only a problem when it is illegal and unregulated. Medical benefits are widely acknowledged such as relief from glaucoma and cancer. The evidence clearly supports legalization, but for some reason, the issue has not caught on with the American public. It was inadvertently, while perusing some promarijuana websites, that I discovered of why marijuana is still illegal. The groups which advocate legalization of marijuana command no respect because they come across as hippies. This is because the groups do not take themselves seriously, and come off as stoners who just want to legalize their irresponsible lifestyle rather than intellectuals who believe in pursuing personal freedom. Due to the relative insignificance of this issue in the scheme of national politics, it is of no surprise that groups which choose to make this their only issue are largely ignored. On top of that, dressing like Ben & Jerry does not help them either. Unfortunately, legalizing marijuana is an issue which is large enough to spawn web sites and lobby groups, but small enough to be ignored by the Democratic and Republican parties. The evidence to support a claim to legalize marijuana exists, but because of who is presenting it, no one is listening. Who is taking the responsi-

bility to advocate the legalization of marijuana? At this point, nobody who commands respect is. One of the most popular non profit marijuana lobby groups is NORML, the National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws. As with most of these groups, the facts which they present to support their cause are legitimate, and they make a convincing case. They say that in a free society, people should be able to make choices which have an effect only on themselves. I could not agree more. NORML states that because of the relative insignificance of crimes committed under the influence of marijuana compared with those committed under the influence of alcohol then if alcohol is legal, marijuana should be as well. In addition, NORML points out that arrests from marijuana are wasting tremendous amounts of taxpayer money and the valuable time and effort of police officers. Also, they mention that the medical benefits of marijuana have been touted by the New England Journal of Medicine.¹ NORML makes a solid case, but unfortunately, despite their convincing evidence, they discredit themselves by selling absolutely juvenile hippy merchandise (which is advertised on the home page of their website!). Colorful psychedelic designs incorporating marijuana leaves and peace signs are cute, but sporting them on a t-shirt as a grown adult commands little respect. It is this nature of NORML, and marijuana legalization lobby groups in general, which repels mature adults from supporting their cause, especially Conservatives and Republicans. We have all seen these characters on campus (mostly hanging around outside of Seneca and Oneida after 9:00 pm) and seldom take them

seriously. We think of them as lazy stoners, not staunch intellectuals who are deeply concerned with our individual freedoms. There has been slight progress to rid marijuana of its unreasonable stigma. Various cities, such as Santa Monica, California, and Missoula, Montana have decided to ‘de-prioritize’ enforcement of marijuana laws. I have not been to Montana, but I have visited Santa Barbara, and it seemed to me like a city permanently stuck in a Woodstock-esque, 1969, mentality. I remember vividly a (white) crossing guard sporting dreadlocks down to his waste. It does not surprise me that Santa Barbara made this decision, and I would hardly take this as cause for celebration for marijuana reformers. If we want to make marijuana legal in entire states, and eventually across the country, we will have to change the image of the marijuana reformer. Legalizing marijuana is a noble goal, and I for one support it. I have also smoked marijuana a number of times, and I’m not ashamed to say that I enjoyed it, and will most likely do it again. I do not, however, wear tie-dye shirts with peace signs on them, vote for Ralph Nader, or go to Phish concerts. A message to those who fit this description—get some normal clothes, cut your hair, and then try convincing people to legalize marijuana, and you might have more success. If you do this, sensible people will join you, and the Democrats and Republicans will have a hard time ignoring you as they do now. I look forward to the day when both hippies and respectable human beings can smoke together in harmony. -Jerry Garcia now smokes regularly with Casey Jones. ¹http://www.norml.org/

Binghamton Review, November/December 2006

NEIGHBORHOOD SURVEY

How Safe Is Binghamton? One Student’s Poll Yields Some Interesting Results

by Carmine Sislano

ach day many students go to the City of Binghamton to drink, shop, or to spend time with friends. Most of these students have adapted to the environment, but do they truly feel safe in the City of Binghamton? A poll was taken (by yours truly) to determine what students feel about downtown. Students with different academic backgrounds were interviewed, and for purposes of anonymity, only first names are used. Rachel, a senior, says that she feels safe in the City. Born and raised in Queens, she says “the streets can get rough by my house.” Rachel says that a 10 year old girl can survive in downtown Binghamton, but a 21 year old girl like her can run into difficulties in Jamaica, Queens. Rachel lives in a house with 4 of her friends downtown. Even though she heard numerous stories about incidents of rape there, she is not worried. But to be on the safe side she carries a rape whistle “in case anything were to happen.” “I am big and black; nobody will mess with me,” Shonari says confidently. Shonari, a sophomore at Binghamton University, brags that he is “rolling downtown with many friends.” He says that he feels safe in the City, and has never seen anything “crazy” happen there. Shonari says that State Street is safer than campus because there are plenty of police officers monitoring the area. He lives on campus in Broome Hall, Newing and has seen more fights in his building than downtown. Shonari is from Freeport, Long Island where “arrests are nothing new.” He has seen stab-

bings, robberies, and fist fights in his hometown. He says that he has never seen such criminal activity in downtown Binghamton. Unlike Rachel and Shonari, 21 year old Margaret tries to stay away from downtown Binghamton. She has “seen a lot go down,” and prefers to “take it easy and just hang out on campus with friends.” Margaret is a junior and enjoys going to the school sponsored weekly activity, “Late Nite Binghamton,” where she can watch movies, play pool, and eat the “best cookies ever.” After hearing that her friend was a victim of a while walking from Stuyvesant Avenue to State Street freshman year Margaret decided to stay away from downtown. “Although State Street is packed with people, I still can’t feel safe there,” she says. She believes it is safer to live on-campus than offcampus, and has therefore been living in Seneca dormitory in CIW since her freshman year. Joe, a transfer student from Nassau Community College says that “downtown seems pretty safe.” He mentions that Binghamton is different from New York City and prefers the “real city life, not this downtown crap.” Joe says that New York City is more dangerous, and that Binghamton “has townies that make believe they are tough stuff.” He wants to see how those “townies” will react in New York City, where the “real stuff goes down.” He isn’t afraid of anything and enjoys eating at the local Kennedy Fried Chicken on most Thursday nights. He says that he had to cajole his friends into accompany-

ing him because they thought that the eatery was located in a dangerous section of the city and were afraid to go. “I’ve only been downtown twice, and do not intend to go back,” says Laura, a freshman. Her first visit downtown was to a party located on Conklin Avenue. After the party, she and her friends walked towards State Street. Laura says that on the way, “three drug dealers approached us and offered us cocaine and marijuana,” and she was scared when this happened. “Luckily, we didn’t get robbed, but now I know not to walk the streets of Binghamton,” she says. Her second visit to the City of Binghamton was on September 8th. While inside “The Rat,” a popular downtown bar, “four random guys” grabbed her “behind.” “I just don’t want to deal with stuff like that; I want to just hang out with my girls,” Laura says in disgust. She now spends most of her free time on-campus with friends. Rachel, Shonari, and Joseph are in the Harpur School of Arts and Sciences and feel safe downtown. Margaret and Laura do not feel safe there, and are in the School of Management. Can we assume that these differences in perspective are associated with a student’s area of study, or are these findings merely coincidental? Are Harpur students tough stuff, and SOM students just a bunch of wimps, or does it have more to do with the higher SAT scores that the SOM students possess? -Carmine Sislano learned in the school of hard knocks, and he ain’t scared’a shit...ya heard?

Binghamton Review, November/December 2006

END OF AN ERROR

The Right to Bear A Look At Congress’s Most Misguided Effort to Protect Citizens

by Dassarri

n Sept 13, 2004, the ten year trial period of the 1994 Assault Weapons Ban expired and a despicable infringement on our constitutional rights died with it. More than two years later, attempts are still made in Congress to resurrect the ban under the same false pretenses under which the original was passed and, because the ban puts restrictions on non-lethal components of semi-automatic rifles, did not reduce crime, and was only supported by a mis-informed public, I urge you, fellow Americans and voters, to stand up for your constitutional rights and be sure to vote accordingly in the future. First of all, it needs to be realized that the ban only puts restrictions on certain components of otherwise perfectly legal semiautomatic rifles. Semi-automatic rifles, though they sound quite intimidating, are simply firearms that fire once with every trigger pull and load the next round automatically. Previously banned components include flash suppressors, bayonet lugs, collapsible stocks, and high-capacity magazines. While you may not know what all of these components are or do, know at least that they all have one thing in common: none of them affect the lethality of the rifle they are attached to; a collapsible stock

does not make a rifle more accurate, nor does a high-capacity magazine enable a rifle to fire at a faster rate. In other words, contrary to what senators Kennedy, Feinstein, Schumer, and Kerry would have you believe, the banned components and attachments of semi-automatic rifles don’t make them any more dangerous than ordinary, more traditional firearms. Considering this fact it is hardly surprising that the Ban did not accomplish its intended task and crime was not reduced by its enactment. Though you may often hear such figures as a 60% drop in crimes committed with “assault weapons”, as quoted by Senator Chuck Schumer (D-NY), the fact remains that crime in general was not affected. And when one considers that crimes committed with these socalled assault weapons constitute less than 3% of all crimes in the US, the advertised impact of the ban on crime loses completely its veil of achievement. But why did roughly 70% of the American population (a popularly used statistic stemming from a poorly phrased survey) support the ban? It becomes easier to understand this phenomenon when one considers a recent experiment conducted by the entertainers Penn & Teller. They sent one of their representatives to an environmentalist rally to seek signatures to ban a sub-

stance called di-hydrogen monoxide. She told people, truthfully, that the substance is used to create Styrofoam products, could cause frequent urination if ingested, partially contains arsenic, and could be fatal if inhaled. Little did they know, however, that it was a petition to ban H2O, plain water, with a scary, albeit true, description. The fact is that this is exactly what happened with the Assault Weapons Ban. The American people have been fooled into believing that “assault weapons” are dangerous items to be removed from society, rather than what they really are: no more lethal or dangerous than thousands of rifles used by millions of law-abiding Americans for protection and recreation. The message here, fellow constituents, is not to make sure that future pieces of legislation actually work; this should not make you wonder why the members of Congress did not realize that this ban would not yield any favorable results. In the future, make sure you are informed of where your Representatives and Senators stand when it comes to protecting your constitutional rights. Do not become part of someone's political agenda. Stay informed about what your government is doing to (mis)represent you and vote accordingly in 2008 and beyond.

Binghamton Review, November/December 2006

SOCIAL GRACES

Titty Bar Etiquette The Mensch’s Strip Club Guide: Maximizing Fun While Minimizing Cost by John Holmes

ive entertainment has always been a popular source of amusement for Americans. Broadway shows grossed over $825,000,000 in ticket sales for 2005. Strip clubs on the other end of the live entertainment spectrum brought in over $5 billion in that same period. Clearly Americans, mainly heterosexual men, enjoy frequenting these types of establishments. Despite their popularity, most strip clubs are not very glamorous; indeed they are seedy and rife with Sodomites. We would certainly not want to live next to one, like “Wiggles” for example. But if you must go, this article is intended as a guide on how to act properly at a strip club and achieve maximum enjoyment at a minimal cost. Before actually going to one of these said establishments, the patron needs to be prepared. First, here is how to clear up the number one misconception about strip clubs: despite what you might think, there is a difference between a hooker and a stripper, and that difference is around $500. The next most important thing is keeping your tuition money intact. Determine beforehand how much money you want to spend and only bring that amount—not a penny more. Trips to the ATM only make you look cheap. Have only small bills so that when you are drunk you do not start giving $50 tips on $10 Red Bulls. Leave credit cards at home; if you don’t,

you will almost certainly go home up to your elbows in debt. Lower your expectations and listen to Chris Rock—there is not going to be any sex in the champagne room. Also, have a positive attitude; do not think that you are better than anyone else in the club. If you were, you would not be there in the first place. Before going to the club, pre-game—this is imperative because no one wants to be in a strip club sober, and the drinks at the club will be overpriced and watered down, so get drunk beforehand. The whole strip club experience hinges on the friends you go with, so make sure you put together a solid crew. Limit the group to guys only and exclude any female friends who claim they want to tag along. It may seem like a good idea to bring girls, but in reality it is not. They will just be disgusted, and you will feel uncomfortable being a pervert in front of them. Only bring cool friends who can handle seeing naked girls. When a stripper is dancing for a friend, do not giggle; the stripper will just get angry, like a real woman would. The purpose of a titty bar is to see tits. A girl approaching your friend should be expected to show some skin and should not be a source of humor for losers who cannot get it up for their girlfriend. Once a satisfactory crew has been assembled, find a friend who is stupid enough to be the designated driver. It absolutely does not mat-

ter what type of car you arrive in. A stripper will not get into your car under any circumstances whether it is a BMW or a Scion. Park far away from the entrance of the club; strippers sit on the hoods of cars parked in front when they go outside to smoke. And no one wants their car to get an STD. Chlamydia is not covered under the warranty. After the car is parked an appropriate distance from the club, proceed inside. A cover fee is usually required to gain entrance. Like buying a car, always negotiate the cover charge, only an idiot pays the actual price. If you have to, lie; saying you just got back from prison, Iraq, or wherever definitely merits a discount. Assuming you have weaseled your way out of paying the full cover charge, scout the strip club for the best place to sit and watch girls shake their asses. When forced to make the choice between a table or at the stage, pick the stage. Club employees are not generally appreciative of cheap-asses who sit at tables instead of giving away dollar bills by the stage. Most gentlemen’s clubs require patrons to purchase a minimum of one drink an hour. As mentioned before, stay away from the alcoholic beverages. Get water or Red Bull, something that comes in a sealed package. Never ask the bartender to strip; if she wanted to get naked she would be a stripper

Binghamton Review, November/December 2006

15 not a bartender. Also, do not waste your money buying drinks for the strippers. You are not getting her drunk. When you buy a stripper a drink the bartender usually puts very little, if any liquor in her drink. Now that the mandatory drinks are being guzzled, you are free to stare at as much silicone and lower back tattoos as you can handle. There are a few things you should know about the stripper who you just fell in love with though. If her name is Chastity, it is most definitely a misnomer. Never, ever ask a stripper her real name: Jasmine is hotter than Agnes. She did not purchase her glow in the dark G-string and ten inch clear heels at Saks. The reason she is wearing a garter belt is to cover a C-section scar. Her baby’s daddy can easily kick your ass. She is not saving up to put herself through college; she is feeding an $800 a week coke habit; strippers love cocaine. She makes more money taking off her clothes than you do folding sweaters at the Gap. She was molested as a child by her uncle that looks just like you. She does not want to date you, she only dates black guys. Her gynecologist refuses to answer her calls; he is tired of removing singles from her cervix. She is without a doubt lying about her age. She is not 24, but closer to 37; if she says 20, she is really 16 (thanks again, Chris Rock). Now that you know the life story of basically every stripper, there are a few ground rules to follow in the club. First and foremost, keep your hands to yourself. A stripper touching you is sexy; you touching her is assault. Try

not to get loud and rowdy because you will be thrown out. Never use the word “stripper.” Say “dancer” when addressing one of the girls. If you follow these basic rules you will be fine. By now, you are ready to start blowing money. Your goal is to give most of that money to the hottest girls, doing otherwise would be communism. Whenever an ugly girl is dancing on stage, go outside and smoke cigarettes until she is done. But make sure you smoke Marlboro Reds, Camel Unfiltereds or Newports; if you smoke lights or 100’s the strippers will think you are a homosexual. Make sure you tip every girl that approaches you though, because they talk when they are not on stage and you do not want to be labeled as the cheap prick. If you become the cheap prick you will only get ass wiggles in your face the entire night. Remember do not throw anything but money on the stage. However sexy it may seem to present strippers with bills from your mouth, remember, you do not know where they have been. [Editor’s note: that applies to both the bills and the strippers] At this point in the night you may have decided that you want to waste even more money. Go for it. The best way to do this is to get a private dance. Do not try to approach the girls, when they are not on stage they will walk around the floor to offer you a dance. If you would like a particular girl, let the bartender or bouncer know and they will convey the message. Pick your stripper wisely, a poor lap dance can leave a bitter taste in your mouth and ruin your whole night. If you are limited by budgetary con-

straints, buying the stripper a $10 drink and having her sit on your lap while drinking it is much more cost effective than a $25 lap dance for 3 minutes. When your private dance is done avoid getting tricked into another one. After your lap dance you will have certainly blown all your money by this point. You are probably feeling pretty good now, and it is time to come back down to earth. That look in her eyes is not passion, it is nausea. No matter what a stripper tells you, she thinks you are a sad, lonely douchebag. If a stripper asks for your number it is because she knows that you are desperate enough to come to the club on a slow Tuesday night and give her all your money. Do what she would do, and give her a fake number. No really, she does not like you; in fact she is telling all the other girls in the dressing room how small your penis is and how creepy it was when you blew your load in your pants. If you ever saw her in the light of day while you were sober, you would probably ask for a refund. And if you tried to speak to her outside the club you would probably get maced, even though she told you how funny and charming you were inside just the night before. Now that you have had these unpleasant revelations, try not to feel too bad. If you got sweet talked last week, don’t sweat it—you’re not in this alone…there are at least 15 other assholes who think “Sinnamon” is their girlfriend, too. -John Holmes always has change for a twenty.

Binghamton Review, November/December 2006

FREEDOM OF THOUGHT

Give Me Fox News One Student’s Search For A Fair and Balanced Education by ‫מיחלגניר שירראה‬

“T

wo sides to every story” it’s a phrase and an ideology that we as, members of a democratic nation, preach to citizens every day from birth to death. In the justice system both parties are given the opportunity to share their side of the argument and then the court decides which party is telling the truth, or more of the truth. This life lesson is something which, unfortunately, a certain Binghamton University Professor seems to have never learned. The professor I am talking about is Professor Kelvin Santiago Valles of the Sociology Dept. He happens to know this publication quite well, for it has ripped him to pieces in the past and today, Professor, BR will be doing it again…just remember, we are right you are just plain wrong. My story begins on Wednesday, August 30th, 2006 in lecture hall 14; the class was Sociology 380: Katrina, 9/11, The War in Iraq. A class which I thought would be interesting, until this day when I vowed to myself that not only would I never enter this course again, but I would also make sure that the propaganda that Professor Santiago Valles was preaching was exposed to the entire University in hopes that it would be read by more informed people and those willing to help me in bashing this racist, antiSemitic, anti-Israel individual. It all started when Professor Santiago Valles decided to get off topic this Wednesday afternoon, not an uncommon occurrence for Binghamton professors. Many times professors will ramble on about research they are

doing, or some other random bullshit that they believe is of great value to students since most think they are God’s gift to the world, another subject which I would be happy to discuss in a later issue. However, Professor Santiago Valles wasn’t talking about research…he decided to spend Wednesday the 30th promoting hate and anti-Semitic propaganda to a class of BU students. Santiago Valles went on a rampage about how American media is but one thing: lies. He focused on the coverage of the recent war fought in the Middle East between Israel, Hezbollah, and Lebanon. Kelvin claimed ‘the [American] media lies and no truth could be found in it.’ While I do not agree with this, I will admit that the American media, no matter which source, can be quite biased, as is the case with any person or group trying to tell a story and aiming to please certain constituents. Santiago Valles then went on to state that the only way to find the truth about the violence was to read media sources from the Middle East, but he only mentioned sources that are ProPalestine, such as the Bahrain Press which he actually brought a copy of to class. Any straightminded and intelligent individual knows that the press is biased, but to state that a publication printed by a partisan group is the only honest paper is ridiculous. Professor Santiago Valles really pushed me over the edge in the 45 minutes he spent directly arguing and debating the topic with a class member who I consider to be a friend of mine. Rather than just responding to her ques-

tion he spent the rest of the class time directly attacking this young lady and every comment she made all because she was Israeli and therefore could not know the real truth about the war. She argued the truth presented by that the American Press as well as other non-Israel aligned acknowledged: that Hezbollah Guerillas captured Israeli soldiers inside Israel’s borders, clearly breaking international laws, a fact which Kelvin refused to admit. Rather, he argued on and to a group of students who were uninformed and and who were buying every biased piece of information that Santiago Valles asserted. Kelvin, all I learned from my time in Sociology 380 is that you truly are anti-Israel and an Anti-Semite. The fact that you can stand in front of uniformed individuals and push mis-information into their ears and minds makes you a pathetic individual in my eyes. People wonder where prejudice and hate stems from…I suggest that any wondering souls take a seat in one of your classes…they will see exactly where it starts. Remember, every story has two sides. This article was written as an attack on Professor Santiago Valles because he was unwilling to listen to the other side. Therefore, I personally decided to tell my side in Binghamton Review and let all of campus hear it. Hopefully in the future all professors will realize that such close-minded behavior does not conform to the ideals of teaching and educating, and that they should be more open-minded to other’s opinions and ideas.

Binghamton Review, November/December 2006

-‫רב‬

MEMORIES

A Tree In A Forest A look at some costly legacies by David Ricardo

s an alumnus, Binghamton University holds a place close to my heart. There, I met friends, joined the Review and did some good in student government. However, while involved in the student government some very disturbing things came to my attention. Those of you who know me probably know exactly what they are, as I have always been a firm believer in principles of sunshine government and citizen involvement. But, since there are so many of you on campus who don’t even know who I am, I thought I would make a special guest appearance in the Review to let you know about this waste of money. You may wonder why I chose to come back now, in the free speech issue, to let you know of this monumental waste. I believe in free speech more than anything else, and money is one of the most essential vehicles to speech. The hijacking of your money curtails the ability of student groups to run programs that you want, and the mis-spending of student funds steals from the 80 some odd dollar activity fee you all pay. Sure, free speech in the classroom is important, but who doesn’t know about it? Everyone has had some experience where a student has gotten humiliated for speaking his mind. Everyone has seen some jokes, occasionally good, but mostly lame and mean

worse than losing a child, and no one should ever have to go through something like that. They did, and admirably, they rallied enough to want to do something for the campus their son loved and had fun on. They came up with the grand idea to plant a tree in the nature preserve. In front of the tree would be a bench for students to sit and reflect on. They won the support of their late son’s RA, who bamboozled the SA President into coming out in favor of their tree Maybe its time for and bench. They brought it to an people who proclaim emergency meeting of the that they are adults to Financial Council, where they act like adults. Put up received some money, but not as much as they wanted. I, or shut up. If students nearly the Vice Chair of the Council, continue to act like abstained. Sounds normal, right? children they shouldWell I think it was a goddamned n’t be surprised when waste of time and money. Especially money. It was an they are treated opportunistic embarrassment and accordingly. abuse of power. It was a shameful play to latent sympathy in order to Of course, the campus get the students to spend money community was shocked. How for something they didn’t have any could this happen? The adminisbusiness spending money on. tration had enacted some One of the other members of the AlcoholEDU requirements, but who paid attention to that? We all Council stated that the tree was know better, we all know the nurs- ‘awarding mediocrity.’ Another believed it was planting a tree in ery rhymes telling you when and what to drink. Even if this under- the forest. I am not that eloquent. classman had gone through alcohol I just think it was stupid and wasteful. training, it was boring and he Planting a tree in the midprobably didn’t pay attention. dle of the disgusting swamp otherHis parents, of course, were devastated. There is nothing wise known as the ‘Nature spirited, targeted at Bush, Clinton or some other political figure. I prefer to avoid stating the obvious and target more sublime issues. Last year, a student on campus died during spring break. He had a little too much to drink and his friends were a little too amused with his misery to take precautions or call 911. That student never woke up from his slumber, and that night of fun was his last.

Binghamton Review, November/December 2006

18 Preserve’ is a waste of time. What a liberal idea, that a tree will memorialize the kid…but no one goes to the swamp anyway. Those who do go to smoke dope and drink booze, not exactly a befitting legacy. Either way they, along with all of the Mrs. Robinsons in need of a hiding place where no one ever goes, now have a bench to sit on when they go over the river and through the woods. This memorial is a nice idea. But, as is usually the case, it is unnecessary and pointless. Alumni who perished tragically on September 11th were memorialized by small plaques in the courtyard of the Fine Arts building. Why then should special attention go to a student who died of alcohol poisoning? Better that money go toward something to teach kids how to avoid booze or drink responsibly. They need to learn warning signs, that there won’t be arrests if they call an ambulance, and that it is possible to drink responsibly. Students scream and yell when they are limited to 30 beers and two bottles of hard liquor per room, but that is a lot of alcohol. Anyone who binge drinks that much will be joining Mr. Bench in Alcohol Heaven. No one needs that much liquor, and some regulation is a good thing. Maybe if you ration it a little bit you won’t get out of control and no one else need die. If these parents and their resident assistant really cared about honoring the memory of the fallen kid, they would take steps to prevent a tragedy like that from repeating itself. They would try to teach students not to booze, and to act responsibly. They can teach

people to look out for their friends and to hang out with responsible people who can help you in a time of need. That is a true conservative philosophy. AlcoholEDU is a starting point, but we need to ramp up our efforts to make sure that students take responsibility for the actions of they and their friends. We need to make sure that students understand that they are playing with fire, and that when playing with fire it is possible to get burned. Students resent the fact that their parents have been called in after alcohol violations, and they resent having to go to alcohol and drug seminars. Well, maybe the school is on the right track. Maybe its time for people who proclaim that they are adults to act like adults. Put up or shut up. If students continue to act like children they shouldn’t be surprised when they are treated accordingly. If you’re so bored in Binghamton join a club. There are more of them then you can count, and any new idea that has a modicum of merit will probably pass muster and get chartered. There are clubs for every kind of person and every possible career path. Maybe if more students got involved and broke the path of “apathy” (that’s right, it’s been brought up again…but I promise that’s it!) that leads to chronic drunkenness and to complaints about how boring Binghamton is, which leads to more late nights in the Rat and Sports Bar and finally to a run in with the University Police, Binghamton would be a fun place to be. Maybe the Administration should take the lead and offer some legitimate pro-

gramming aside from those lame ‘Undergrounds’ events that no one attends. I hope you heed my warnings and keep a close eye on the government, for without a check from the students the government will do things you would rather it not do. It will spend money without regard to student’s wishes; it may even act in ways beneficial to the members (ahem, 42” plasma, ahem). It’s kind of like Congress on a smaller scale, and I beseech you all to get involved. Look out for your interests and look after the men and women you elected to look out for you. They are good people, but they often get carried away. You have to be the final check on them and balance the scale. Otherwise, the result is almost always chaos. If you do not look out for your interests, who will? If the students don’t monitor themselves the administration will swoop in and clamp down on yet again. You complain about AlcoholEDU, a program with merit and good intentions, but are unwilling to take the time away from your games of beer pong to keep an eye on campus politics. Start locally, take an hour and go to a hall meeting. Talk to an SA Rep, FINCO Rep, J-BOARD rep or member of the E-Board. If they know you care, they will care about your interests and fight for you when the time comes. Only then, can you be assured your dollars won’t be mis-allocated and you can ensure a better Binghamton University for the future. -David Ricardo wants you to join the good fight

Binghamton Review, November/December 2006

(Don’t say we didn’t warn you)

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Binghamton Review, November/December 2006

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