September 2010 - Binghamton Review by Binghamton Review

TRUTH AND TWO STAPLES

SEPTEMBER 2010

BINGHAMTON REVIEW N O I S S E C E L R A I C E SP

SO, YOU COULD ONLY AFFORD TAXPAYER-SUBSIDIZED SCHOOLING...

WELCOME TO BINGHAMTON!

Binghamton Review

P.O. BOX 6000 BINGHAMTON, NY 13902-6000

EDITOR@BINGHAMTONREVIEW.COM

FOUNDED 1987 • VOLUME XXIV NUMBER 1 • SEPTEMBER 2010

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Rachel Gordon

Contents

THE ABC’S OF BU Your A-Z Guide to Life as a Bearcat

Managing Editor Nick Valiando Editor Emeritus Adam Shamah Associate Editors Justin Utegg Ethan Day Copy Editors William Obilisundar Brian Parente Business Manager Michael Lombardi Secretary Marissa Beldock Thank God He’s Gone Randal Meyer Contributors Daniel Rabinowitz, William Griffin, Joseph Aguiar, Taylor Arluck, Gabrielle Pontillo, Katie Dermigny, Nicholas Fondacaro, Connor Hogg, Chris Nowack Godfather of the Review Louis W. Leonini Friends of the Review Dr. Aldo S. Bernardo The Leonini Family Mr. Bob Soltis WA2VCS The Shamah Family The Grynheim Family The Menje Family The Leeds Family The Lombardi Family The Packer Family Mr. Michael O’Connell Binghamton Review is printed by Our Press in Chenango Bridge, NY. We provide the truth; they provide the staples.

The Public Ivy’s Politics by Ethan Day

Welcome from Review’s Townie by Will Griffin

Playing the Game by Adam Shamah

Keeping Clean by the Editors

The ABCs of Binghamton by The Editors

Mission Accomplished by Joseph Aguiar

Best and Worst Professors by The Editors

Restaurant Reviews by the Editors

Some advice for freshmen

Tips from your friends at Review for avoiding eviction

Tips from your friends at Review for dealing with ResLife

Now that it’s over, a look back on the War in Iraq

Review tells you whom to take, and whom to avoid Because you can’t take a hot date out for Sodexo

Departments 3 4

EDITORIAL CAMPUS PRESSWATCH

General Interest Meeting: Thursday, September 16 @7pm in UUW-B05

EDITORIAL

From the Editor...

o comes another year of Binghamton Review. I have been working on this publication for almost two years now, and this is my final year as an undergraduate here at Binghamton. However, this time I write from a different perspective. I have seen the Review develop more than I could have ever imagined. From the young days when the Student Code of Conduct was changed, to the zoning issues in the City of Binghamton, and the Social Work Department freedom of speech violations; we grew as a publication, and our readership grew as well. In this time, I realized that we are not just a newspaper that wrote about the news and our opinion. We actually are speaking out and fighting for students’ rights, and we keep winning. We actually want to change things around here, not just talk about them (although no one can deny that we like hearing ourselves talk). This is a big campus, with a lot of big issues, and still a lot of things that need to change. Everything Admissions and your tour guide told you made this University seem like a perfect utopia, but they live in a delusional world. No matter how often they repeat that this school is full of “diversity,” it is absolutely false each and every time. Do you remember hearing about the Review on your tour of campus? Of course not; admissions instructs its tour guides to walk quickly past our office. You would think that a University committed to “diversity” would celebrate our diversity of thought.

Sure, everyone may look different and have different backgrounds, but diversity and acceptance goes much deeper than that. To the majority, the opinions of those they disagree with are considered irrelevant and wrong. But the fact that what is different is often ignored or censored is what is really wrong. That is what makes us different on this campus. We want to (and will) say what no one else will. We will get made fun of, be called racists, or sexists, or whatever the dirty hippies are slinging at us nowadays. And nothing makes us happier than hate mail. No, seriously. Nothing. I like to think that this issue is the real guide to Binghamton that nobody told you about. You can hear all the nice stories from your RA’s and Orientation Advisors about what there is to do around here, but they sugarcoat it. We are real students who will tell you our opinion about everything. And we do not get paid to keep it politically correct or to make sure it is not offensive. We’ll tell you what we think, and won’t apologize if you think it’s “mean.” So do not be afraid to read this issue and laugh a little. Heaven knows you might actually learn something, or agree with it. And if you think you can be funnier than us, try helping us out. There can never be enough of us. (I will regret saying that later). Our first meeting is on this Thursday at 7:00 in our office (UUW-B05). No spies allowed.

TELL US WHAT YOU THINK! Direct letters to editor@binghamtonreview.com. Our Mission Binghamton Review is a non-partisan, student-run periodical of conservative thought at Binghamton University. A true liberal arts education expands a student’s horizons and opens one’s mind to a vast array of divergent perspectives. In that spirit, we seek to promote the free exchange of ideas and offer an alternative viewpoint not normally found on our predominately liberal campus. It is our duty to expose the warped ideology of political correctness that dominates this university. We stand against tyranny in all its forms, both on campus and beyond. We believe in the principles set forth in this country’s Declaration of Independence and seek to preserve the fundamental tenets of Western civilization. Finally, we understand that a moral order is a necessary component of any civilized society. We strive to inform, engage, and perhaps even amuse our readers in carrying out this mission. www.binghamtonreview.com

CPampus resswatch U

sually, Campus Presswatch is where we expose writers from other campus publications as the liars and communists they are. But, because it is the first week, many of these publications have yet to print this semester. So instead, we have decided to bring to you brief summaries of what you can expect to find when you read some of the rags you’ll find on campus. In short, don’t expect much.

Pipe Dream The only publication that prints on a twice-weekly basis reads more like a collection of university press releases than an actual student newspaper. It is the definition of mediocre. They have a not-so-bad Fun Page and sports column, their editorials really do not say anything (watch their opinion on the same topic change every week), and their articles issues provide you with as much information that one could find when they were browsing Wikipedia.

Free Press It makes us rather sad that they print only every other week, because we have the feeling they would be much more entertaining if they printed more often. They have some of the best typos we have ever seen. (We can only assume they are typos, but you never know with hippies. Grammar is a form of oppression, obviously). An actual title has read “University runs out of H1N1 virus, but more on the way.” Really? I sure hope we get more of that virus...oh wait, did you mean to say “vaccine”? Well, at least missing a word in the title is better than forgetting the whole title. Never mind, they did that once too. 4

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EMO Zine / Talk Back

The Education Worker

If you want to read about how guilty you should feel for being white, read it on this this recycled computer paper. They sure have no shortage of guilt-trips that they themselves are exempt from, solely because they are a registered member of the American Socialist Party, and sleep with a copy of the Communist Manifesto under their gently used sheets and pillows. While it can be very entertaining to read their “articles,” it is more fun to guess what drugs they were on when they wrote them. When in doubt, they must fill their quota of articles on how we stole land from the Native Americans.

This is Binghamton University’s newest publication, and it is published by the Binghamton Education Workers Union. They have, for the time being, replaced EMO Zine because they spew the works of Marx and Engels on a more regular basis. The articles can fit into two categories: 1) How capitalism is ruining everything, or 2) How you are being oppressed. We look forward to your latest issue once you guys get out of jail for punching out a police officer.

Asian Outlook They print almost monthly, but they become less exciting to read with each issue. They used to spend all their time calling us racist, but they went back to writing about Asian culture, recipes, and their favorite Haikus. We miss you guys.

Prospect Magazine We used to have a strict editorial policy against mentioning Prospect, but then we remembered we are bullies. It is really are not worth our time, but we will keep making fun of it. It is too easy, really. When is the next issue coming out? We thought we saw them working in their office, but then we remembered that they don’t have one.

Q-Mag Yes, the “Q” stands for queer. If you want to read about how oppressed homosexuals in Rwanada are, where trannies come from, or just want to see photo shoots from the drag world, this is the magazine for you. We only wish they had more issues, because it might provide Sam Sussman with more words of wisdom to intersperse with his already repetitive delusions of grandeur.

SEPTEMBER 2010

www.binghamtonreview.com

BIAS

The Public Ivy’s Politics

A new report showcases BU’s left-leanings by Ethan Day

inghamton University is currently ranked among the top 100 colleges in the United States according to U.S. News and World Report. With such a distinction comes additional scrutiny; CampusReform.org is in the process of releasing in-depth profiles of these top schools, and SUNY Binghamton just had its number called. The number eighty to be exact; that’s Binghamton University’s ranking according to U.S. News and World Report when compared to all public and private universities in the nation. As commendable as this recognition is, the absence of political bias was clearly not a category during the scoring. According to Bryan Bernys, director of the Leadership Institute’s national field program, “CampusReform.org completed an indepth profile of the political climate at Binghamton University as part of an ongoing project to research the nation’s top 100 universities. The research shows liberal political bias at Binghamton University based on the school’s faculty, student organizations, and administrative policies.” Such findings hardly come as a revelation to anyone even remotely familiar with BU or the SUNY system. It is important however, to occasionally look at just what makes Binghamton worthy of being called a

The progressive grip on Binghamton University is strong, but real progress is being made. liberal institution. The report first looks at campus life and the student groups that are political in nature. CampusReform.org found that of the 13 political student groups on campus, seven are liberal and six are conservative in one form or another. The liberal student groups include Campus Climate Challenge, College Democrats, Democracy Matters, Muslim Students’ Association, NYPIRG, The Free Press (doubtlessly the most progressive student publication) and The Right Side of History Campaign a gay rights group). The six groups of a more conservative persuasion are the Binghamton Libertarians, Binghamton Review, Binghamton Zionist Organization, College Republicans, Friends of the Second Amendment and Students for the Preservation of Western Culture. There are additional groups that would fit into each of the categories; however these are the 13 the report focuses on. Another interesting element that is cited in the report is 6

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the political donations of Binghamton University faculty. “Campaign finance data from the Huffington Post offers a small sample of faculty political donations, but the trend is clear. Five Binghamton employees donated to candidates in the 2008 election - and all five donations (totaling $5,299) went to Democratic candidates” states Campus Reform’s review. Such a number hardly does justice to the secular progressive agenda pushed by professors at Binghamton. Their dedication to the social engineering and indoctrination of an entire generation is more valuable to the cause than any dollar figure could ever be. Also included in the faculty section of the report is a note on one particular individual. According to Campus Reform, “Binghamton is also home to controversial faculty like Ali Mazrui, director of the school’s Institute of Global Cultural Studies. Mazrui has likened Israel’s anti-terrorism policies to South African apartheid and has spoken in support of sharia law in democratic societies.” He is assuredly only one in a long list of professors worthy of the spotlight for their various radical views, all of which would be strongly rejected by the mainstream society of a center-right country. Other groups have dragged Binghamton University’s questionable practices into the open in the past. FIRE, a prominent legal defense organization, recently gave SUNY Binghamton their yellow light rating. According to FIRE, a “yellow light” institution has some campus policies that could ban or excessively regulate protected speech. Campus Reform summarizes FIRE’s findings; “FIRE was particularly concerned with Binghamton’s student handbook, which pledges to enforce sanctions in ‘bias incidents’ in which students use language otherwise protected by the First Amendment that makes others ‘feel uncomfortable’.” Another disheartening policy of the university is to give in-state tuition to illegal aliens. New York state law permits, but does not require this practice. The policy reads as follows; “Undocumented students who attend for at least two years and graduate from a New York high school may be eligible for resident tuition. See the campus Student Accounts Office (Bursar) for details.” If you are from New Jersey, why should you have to pay more for tuition than someone who isn’t even a citizen of the United States? If the social repercussions of these findings don’t bother you, this financial aspect should. Why should you and/or your parents, as taxpayers, have to pay more for you to attend Binghamton than someone who does not contribute at all to the system? Some final facts that contributed to the findings in Campus Reform’s evaluation include; the drastic defunding of left-leaning organization SEPTEMBER 2010

Ali Mazrui, professor of political science, is one of the University’s most well-known and radical liberal icons.

NYPIRG. NYPIRG collects mandatory student fees that are used to lobby state legislators to pass liberal legislation. Its total fiscal budget just 3 years ago stood at $104,000. Last year however, NYPIRG received only $200.00 from student government. Additionally, Binghamton does not offer an ROTC program. A small consolation to this is that the university partners with the ROTC program at Cornell University, located in Ithaca, New

York. The progressive grip on Binghamton University is strong, but real progress is being made. Conservatives hold important positions of power in student government, and right-leaning, free thinking students continue to question their professors’ lack of common sense. Conservatives may be a small minority here at Binghamton, but our resistance to being swept away into liberal submission is a formidable threat to the establishment.

Welcome from Review’s Townie by Will Griffin

nother new year has arrived here at Binghamton University, and with it, another new group of freshmen trying to figure out what the hell they are doing here. A large and very vocal majority of every new class at BU comes from downstate. This article is directed at this group, although some of my advice is useful for any new or not-so-new students. Here is my advice on life in Binghamton (my town) and the surrounding area, from the perspective of Binghamton Review’s “townie.” I will begin my little guide with some practical if not rather serious advice. Many new students come to Binghamton with the assumption that because this is upstate and Binghamton is a “small town,” they are going to school in a Mayberry or Stars Hollow where there’s no crime and people don’t lock their doors. Although I’d hardly compare my hometown to Chicago or Detroit, there are gangs, www.binghamtonreview.com

thieves, crackheads and other nasty folks who are best avoided if you value your health and property. If you don’t believe me, just ask someone who was here last year about the guy who got stabbed to death in a fight behind JT’s Tavern. Luckily for you, as a student, such a fatal end to your college career is unlikely if you practice basic street smarts. Avoid the nasty neighborhoods at night, don’t go to the bars by yourself and don’t pick fights in bars with any dude with a heavier downstate accent than you. This last bit of advice brings up a point of tension that is part of why some many of my fellow Binghamtonians dislike students and, more generally, down-staters in general: most of the urban criminals and gangsters in Binghamton come from New York City because it is easier to get welfare or avoid arrest up here. To many locals, local crime is always perpetrated by someone from Brooklyn or Queens.

Luckily, there is one nice part about Binghamton having crime. This benefit only occurred to me after a conversation with a friend from one of the crimeless Levitowns of Long Island about how the police in his hometown have nothing better to do than bust high-school parties. Because of all the nasty crime up here, Binghamton PD has far better things to do with their time than bust drunken frat boys and freshmen on their first binge. The leniency of BPD should not be taken advantage of. An officer can ignore a house party or a drunken 19-year-old, but if you decide to get into a fistfight with someone, or insult or threaten an officer, you’ll end up in lockup faster than you can say paddy wagon. I’ll also add the caveat that University PD are different from Binghamton PD, as UPD are directly charged with controlling us. Also, they are real cops, guns and all, so

TOWNIE continued on Pg 9 7

FROM THE ARCHIVES

i I

Playing The Game Tips From Your Friends at Review For Avoiding A Zoning Board Eviction by Adam Shamah

f you live off campus, you need to protect yourself. Not only from the crack dealers downtown, but from your neighbors on the west side. Readers of the Review should all be aware of the struggles facing off-campus students. The City maintains in its Zoning Ordinance a rule which requires anyone living in a residential district to be either a biologically related family or "a group of unrelated individuals living together and functioning together as a traditional family." This is known more colloquially as the "functional family rule." Anyone living in a residential district—including most of Binghamton's west side—can face eviction if the city finds that they do not meet the standards of the functional equivalent of a family. This does require that a neighbor register a complaint first, but members of the West Side Neighborhood Association (WNSA) and other anti-student residents have been known to check mail boxes, car plates, and even facebook profiles in search of student properties to report. Once a report is filed, a zoning inspector will examine the property to see if the occupants are a family or the functional equivalent. His ruling can be appealed to the Zoning Board of Appeals (ZBA), which must examine the living situation of the occupants in relation to

several standards outlined in the zoning code to determine whether there is a violation. What are these standards? And can students meet them? The Zoning Ordinance allows the ZBA to consider several factors when determining whether a group qualifies as the functional equivalent of a family. These criteria include "the presence of one individual acting as head of household," proof of shared expenses, common ownership of furniture and appliances, whether the living situation is "transient" in nature (meaning the tenants change year to year), and whether the occupants share the entire house or act as separate roomers. By becoming familiar with these requirements and taking proactive measures to meet them, students can avoid ending up on the street. According to local attorney Douglas Walter Drazen, the single most important thing one can do to protect themselves is to register to vote locally. This should prevent the ZBA from labeling your living situation "transient," as was the fate of the students on Helen Street and Lincoln Avenue. It's not only effective, but extremely easy. Turn the page, fill out the form and slip it under the Review office door (B05 in the New Union), and we'll bring it to the Board of Elections. If you cannot make it to the Review office, mail your form to the

Board of Elections at 44 Hawley Street, Binghamton, NY 13901. Drazen also recommends changing the address on your drivers license to your local address in Binghamton, and, if possible, registering your car locally. Then, make sure you or one of your housemates acts as the "head of the household." This means your lease, utilities, and cable should all be under one name. The additional renters can reimburse the head. If your house did not come furnished, buy some furniture collectively and prepare proof of shared expenses. These are relatively easy things to do if you are friendly with your housemates. Do not give the ZBA any reason to believe that you and your housemates act as separate renters. That means no locks on the bedroom doors, a shared refrigerator, and a common internet connection, if possible. Our goal as students at this university should be to fight for the repeal of any zoning laws which unfairly target students and limit our off-campus housing options. But in the meantime, it does not hurt to protect ourselves under the current law. At the very least, we'll make life harder for people like Binghamton University professor Marilyn Desmond and WSNA-chief Amy Shapiro, who have it out for any student who dares venture west of Front Street.

Registering to vote LOCALLY is the easiest thing you can do to protect yourself from a Zoning Board hearing. Plus, you can vote out the assholes who perpetuate anti-student sentiment on the West Side. There’s a voter registration form on the page 19. Fill it out and mail it to the Broome County Board of Elections. No stamps? Slip it under the Binghamton Review office door in New Union WB05. We’ll submit it for you. Yes, even if you register Democrat. 8

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SEPTEMBER 2010

OFF CAMPUS HOUSING

You’ll see the issue of off-campus housing covered a lot in the Review. Here’s a refresher of recent events:

The West Side Story Ten Years of Anti-Student Sentiment in the City of Binghamton MARCH 15, 2000

West Side Neighborhood Association founded.

SEPTEMBER 2004

City Councilman Joe Sanfilippo proposes plan to re-zone students out of the West Side.

DECEMBER 7, 2008

FEBRUARY 9, 2008

AUGUST 15, 2008

OCTOBER 2008 APRIL 30, 2009

JANUARY 5, 2010 FEBRUARY 5, 2010 APRIL 6, 2010

B.U. Professor Marilynn Desmond reports group of students living at 8 Lincoln Ave. Mayor Matthew Ryan personally inspects their house to check for zoning violations. Zoning Board of Appeals rules against students living at 8 Lincoln Ave. Students later evicted. Newman Development Group attorney Ken Kamlet reccommends stricter zoning laws and automatic eviction processes after being appointed to city Housing Comission. Binghamton Review breaks story on Kamlet’s plot. Pipe Dream ignores the issue for months. Housing Commission releases its report reccommending stricter enforcing standards and a renter registration program. Zoning Board of Appeals rules against students living at 63 Helen Street. Helen Street landlord is ordered by City to begin eviction proceedings, later sues City in court. NYS Supreme Court rules against the City; says students cannot be evicted for violating the City’s zoning ordinance. Appeal expected.

DATA COMPILED BY BINGHAMTON REVIEW

www.binghamtonreview.com

TOWNIE from Pg 7 don’t try to take on UPD because you think they’re just rent-a-cops or security guards. To move to a lighter note, I’ll talk about food. To start with a personal pet peeve: please for the love of god try to avoid complaining constantly about how you can’t get “real pizza” up here. The restaurant guide my fellow BR writers put together for this issue can help you find food when you’re sick of Sodexo and local pizza. To add my two cents: try spiedies at least once, preferably the lamb ones if you can find them. The fish fries, halupki and perogies that the domed Eastern and Greek Orthodox churches serve at various times of the year are also very good. These events are usually publicized in local papers and online, and you only need to look for large golden domes when you find the time. In general, try not to complain about everything outside of campus. Kvetching, bitching etc., may be an art form in some circles downstate, but up here it goes over less well than supporting Proposition 8 in Merlin’s. Constant whining is another local downstate stereotype one would do best not to fulfill. This is especially true when constantly complaining about how there’s “nothing to do here.” Compared to NYC this may be true, but part of college involves growing up and doing things for yourself. So grown up and learn how to entertain oneself away from a 15 minute train ride into NYC. On a lighter note, if you stay out of trouble and have a positive attitude you’ll see how nice and beautiful my area can be. You’ve got four years here and at the end of those four years, you don’t want to have seen nothing beyond campus, State Street and the parkway. See the area, walk around downtown while sober, and head up into the hills or the various parts of the area if you get the chance. It’ll be worth it. 9

RESLIFE, GO FUCK YOURSELF

Keeping Clean Tips From Your Friends at Review For Dealing with Residential Life by the Editors

hen I arrived at Binghamton University, I was under the impression resident assistants (RAs) were kind and caring. It only took about a month for me to realize that they are anything but. While occasionally you will find the “cool” RA who doesn’t care about what you do in your dorm, many of them enjoy going on power trips and getting their residents in trouble. They will write you up simply for the sake of pleasing their RDs. They do not care about you, or the fact that writing you up could have serious repercussions. I’ve heard stories of students written up for holding cans of Red Bull, which only an RA could mistake for beer. I’ve heard of someone written up because they were celebrating Chanukah, a Jewish holiday that requires one to light candles, an apparent violation of University policy. I’ve heard of students getting charged for shooting Nerf guns at each other. This is what you, as an on-campus student, are going to have to deal with until you make the move off campus. Always remember to be careful! Here are a few rules to help you stay out of trouble: 1. Do not assume they know anything. Say as little as possible. Never reveal to an RD or any administrative officer anything that could ever be used against you. When they say they “just want to talk,” they mean they want you to admit enough to charge you. They are trained to get you in trouble. 10

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If an RA knocks, pretend you’re in class.

2. Keep your story consistent. If your friends are called in too, make sure you discuss beforehand what you are going to say.

dorms, by the time you’re a senior your record will be clean.

3.There is always a way to get off charges. Don’t be afraid to think of excuses. You have nothing to lose, and you’ll be surprised how stupid some RDs are. As long as you’re polite and articulate, you can literally make them believe anything. Use your imagination and have fun with it.

5. Never blast music in the dorms. This is the single dumbest thing you can do. Blasting music causes annoying future-RAs to go and complain to their current RAs that the loud music is interrupting their weekly, Fridaynight jerk-off session. The RA, upset that they actually have to do their job, will proceed to enter your room and search the place.

4. Always blame it on the youngest person in the room. Your record is sealed two-and-a-half years after your probation ends. So, if you are a freshman caught drinking in the

So that’s all for now. Check out future issues of the Review for more tips, and remember; never be afraid to ask for help from the many people willing to offer it. SEPTEMBER 2010

Think pledging a fraternity is tough? Wait until you try to join Review.

BINGHAMTON REVIEW “You try writing an article on why the VPMA sucks at gunpoint.” - Anonymous BR Pledge

General Interest Meeting: Thursday, 9/16 at 7:00 PM in the Review Office, UUW-B05 www.binghamtonreview.com

Email editor@binghamtonreview.com

ABCs

THE EDITORS

The ABC’s of Binghamton University Your A-Z guide to life as a Bearcat

Academic Advising

Like most college services, you will rely on advising more than you’d like, and always leave disappointed. Harpur advising is the worst, a place where your advisor will have a degree from a community college and will know less about Binghamton than you. Professional schools tend to do better as they are more selective than Harpur.

Athletics

Yes, we had a good basketball team two years ago. Yes, they made it to the NCAA tournament. Yes, most of the team was full of criminals. No, we will not be good for another ten years. No one cares about the other sports teams.

Blackboard Piece of Shit

B-Line

The tour guide told you it was “a daily distribution of items of interest and importance to students. Items range from official University announcements to information on student-proposed events and meetings.” Or, as we like to call it: “SPAM.”

B-Mail It’s like “G-Mail”, but with the letter “B” instead. 12

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BTV

This campus run “TV-station” has a higher budget, better equipment, and more staff than any public access station. On a good day, they might get ten viewers; still more listeners than WHRW has.

Campus Mail

It is conveniently located in two different locations: one for sending packages and the other for receiving them. This poor man’s post office has terrible hours, friendly staff, and a cash only policy; which we guarantee will make your day shittier.

College-in-the-Woods

There are only three reasons to ever visit CIW: (1) Find a drug dealer. (2) Watch Woodstock. (3) Eat at their dining hall. When you combine all three together, you are probably a sophomore.

Deer

You may have noticed that these wonderful woodland creatures love to hang around campus. Sadly, due to what we can only assume is part of this University’s liberal agenda, you are not allowed to shoot them. But you can run them over with your car.

Downtown Center

This place only exists if you are an HDEV major. And it has like totally revitalized Downtown Binghamton or something, hasn’t it?

ESCAPE

Long lines for absurdly low prices, it is no wonder no one realized how this wasn’t a viable business model. Think about it. Freshmen cannot have cars, blue buses randomly catch on fire, and ESCAPE is being run into the ground.

Events Center

From NCAA athletics to banquets, to trade fairs and all events in between, this $33 million building was constructed to support a wide range of programs you’ll either never go to or continually be disappointed in.

F G

Food Co-op

If buying overpriced organic foods at the supermarket does not get you enough street cred with the campus hippies, shopping at the food co-op will. It smells like a third-rate pet store.

Glenn G. Library

Bartle

No one goes there until SEPTEMBER 2010

CAMPUS GUIDE Green Campus

The administration and the hippies will do all they can to promote a “green campus.” This means that nothing stands in the way of preventing “global warming,” getting coal off this campus, and making sure the salamanders and deer have a home.

Harpur’s Ferry

Drunken friend gone from fun time to liability? These are the guys you call.

Health Services If while walking on campus you look down and see this, you are probably in Newing. Yes, even in 90-degree weather.

finals week to actually do work, and at that time it is actually impossible to do work there because it is so crowded and loud. However, Bartle does offers the most important service you will use in your four years at Binghamton; printing. Here are some fun things you will inevitably encounter when trying to print in a rush: (1) You get stuck behind the person who needs to print out a trees worth of paper. (2) The printer will run out of paper when it is your turn and you will need to get someone from the help desk. (3) God forbid the stapler actually staple two papers together. (4) Trying to find a free computer in the middle of the day is like trying to find something edible from Sodexho.

Greek Life

There are three types of fraternities at Binghamton: (1) Social - Just the way that Binghamton does not really compare to an Ivy League school, the fraternities are really not as much fun as a real fraternity at one of those schools. (2) Pre-Professional - A glorified, over-the-top organization that provides you with nothing more than any other SA chartered club, but will take you three months to become a part of in order to “make friends and learn networking.” (3) PAD - Not that we are implying it is a real fraternity, but they are definitely not pre-professional. www.binghamtonreview.com

There really is nothing positive to say about this place. Only go if you need proof to miss a class. Seriously, even if you think you have got the Ebola virus you are better off rotting away in your room then going to this place.

Hillside

This is where you go to have no social life. If you have friends who live there it is highly unlikely you will ever visit them, because once you take the trek all the way up there, you will regret it and never go again.

Hinman College

This is where most of the international students live. The dining hall is pretty decent, but the Nite Owl is open late and the proximity to the Lecture Hall is convenient.

Hippies

You are a hippy if: you are in Food Co-op, Binghamton Animal Alliance, the Sierra Club, or an organized ultimate frisbee group...or if you are Jenna Goldin.

ID Card

If you think your driver’s license picture will haunt you for a long time, it don’t got shit on your BU ID card picture. Guard it with your life because losing it will be a bigger headache than anything else you will lose in your wallet combined.

International Students

Most of them are either Turkish, Korean,

or Chinese. They will not speak to you unless you are also an international student. You can find them either smoking outside the library or staying in their break housing dorms not assimilating with American culture.

J K L

JAPs

See Newing.

Kosher Kitchen

Inaccessible to goyim , the secret passageway to the Kosher Kitchen lies underneath the campus in a tunnel that connects to Newing College.

Landlord

Even though you do not have to eat Sodexho or deal with RA’s anymore, you will soon realize that all the inconviences of campus do not compare with how shitty your life will be when dealing with your new landlord.

Late Nite Binghamton

You are better off sitting in your dorm room crying to yourself wondering why no one wants to be your friend then going to a Late Nite event.

Lecture Hall

No matter how hard you try, you will always sit in the noisiest chair. Any movement will raise the attention of all three-hundred people in your class.

Mando Books

Lower prices, longer trip.

Mountainview College

All the pros of this community (great dining hall and air conditioning) are offset by how far away it is from everything else. You are also gonna have to live with most of the athletes which is an experience unto itself.

ABCs

Nature Preserve

An overrated expanse of forest that only hippies or people from the city are astounded by. You may go there to “experience the nature”, but we all know you are just going to smoke pot or have sex. Heads up to freshman, the po-po patrol there at night.

Newing College

All of your uggs, leggings, parkas with fur hoods and bros in one place. The new buildings will be “completed” in Fall 2011.

Off Campus College Council AKA The first National Bank of the Student Association.

Off Campus College Transport

This student driven, managed, and operated bus service will be the worst relationship you have in college. On the one hand, you can ride for “free” to go almost anywhere a Binghamton student would absolutely need to go on a regular basis (Wal-Mart, State Street, UP). On the other hand, they have a tendency to catch fire.

Parking

You are parking in M-lot, get over it.

Police

If your job was to babysit college students all day you woud be an asshole too.

Procrastination

When you’ve said “I’ll do it later the ‘Jersey Shore is on now’ you know you’ve gone too far.

Quasi-Ivy

Though Binghamton is known as a prestigious university, its lack of exposure on the national level will inevitably cause your friends at home to give you disparaging looks and awkward acceptances of it’s “public Ivy” status. 14

BINGHAMTON REVIEW

Resident Assistants (RAs)

They are overpaid NARCs. Some may act like your friend but when push comes to shove, they will write you up.

ResCons

These ‘workers’ are paid to help you with your computer problems, but they usually are either impossible to locate or unable to fix your computer. Do not rely on them all that much if you need help, especially because they disappear after the first few weeks of the school year.

School of Management (SOM)

Even though this joke writes itself, here is a crash course in Binghamton’s easiest school: (1) Congratulations, HDEV students do more work than you do. (2) All tests are take home or multiple choice, and the ones that are not are “group projects”. (3) No one will ever believe that an SOM student is struggling with schoolwork. (4) 25% attendance is considered an achievement. (5) When you graduate, you will still be making more money than students who actually tried at college.

Sodexo

At some point in your freshman year you are gonna try to convince yourself that the food is not as bad as everyone say it is. You are lying to yourself.. Sodexho sucks; accept it and eat it until you move off campus.

Teaching Assistants

Half of them don’t speak English. Enjoy!

Townies

Binghamton is a melting pot of all races and creeds, their common denominator being their crippling poverty. For your convenience, here’s some census breakdowns of the Binghamton area: (1) Every other couple is interracial. We’re not saying that it’s a bad thing, but there’s something to be said that every stroller pushed by a white woman has a black baby in it. (2) Half of the residents are above 50, and none of them can cross the street in a timely fashion. (3)The other half of the population is obese or injured, requiring a scooter or covered in plaster casts. (4) For every hundred poor people there is one rich housing developer that takes all of their welfare money.

University Store

Book

An arm and a leg for an anatomy book, the only real use of the bookstore is for it is website, which lists all required books for a class. Then you buy them somewhere else. It is also the premier place to buy an overpriced hoodie with the University’s logo on it.

University Plaza

The place to go for Five Guys, Tully’s,

Susquehanna Community

As a microcosm of the Middle East, Susquehanna has a tense atmosphere at all times as the Turkish, Asian and Jewish students square off for the award of the biggest shut-ins. The RA’s are not great, but at least they are not as bad as their Community Director. And do not ever cook on finals week; you are guaranteed to set off the fire alarm. It is not uncommon to see a fire truck on its way to M Lot. SEPTEMBER 2010

shitty beer pong parties and a one night stand with a lonely upperclassmen.

Vulgarity

At some point in your Freshman year, you will hear your first classroom F-Bomb. No, it wasn’t the kid next to you forgetting his homework; it was the teacher, dropping the oh-socommon curse word almost too casually. Your world will be rocked; you no longer are in some rule bound high school. You have entered college. You are somewhere adult. That is, until you hear it three more times in two other classes in the first week. It is then that you realize; there is nothing mind blowing about the word “fuck.”

Walmart

Anytime you go there, it will take you thirty minutes to find a parking spot, and when you do it will be so far away that it might not even be worth going there.

Wikipedia

You can’t quote it, but you can use the sources at the bottom.

Wegmans

Hands down the best supermarket in the area. It’s so good our editor-in-chief works there. You can’t get a better endorsement than that.

Xenophobia

As a freshmen you expect to be an openminded individual who will not allow any of your prejudices take over and force you to premptively form an opinion about anyone or anything. But after that first semester of being taught by the non-English speaking TA, you are going to be throwing around some pretty fucked up things about foreigners. Seriously...you’ll deny it, but we all know at some point you are say something horrible about your TA while pointing out what country they are from. Shame on you

Y Z

Yellow Taxis

Cramming 15 people into a cab driven by a foreign driver may be smarter than driving home drunk, but that doesn’t make it safe.

Zionism

There are a lot of Jews on this campus. Be careful what you say about Israel.

Words of Wisdom: “He who dares not offend cannot be honest.” -Thomas Paine www.binghamtonreview.com

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SEPTEMBER 2010

IRAQ

Mission Accomplished

Now that it’s over, a look back at the War in Iraq by Joseph Aguiar

eorge Bush’s war of choice, Operation Iraqi Freedom, which began on March 19, 2003, will go down as a success. Sort of. On September 1, 2010, the full “Iraqization” of the seven and a half year war will finally take place as US combat operations are set to conclude. This is in keeping with President Obama’s campaign promise to get US forces out of the country in order to shift the military’s focus to the war in Afghanistan. At its peak in 2007, the number of US forces on the ground in Iraq numbered approximately 165,000. That number has fallen to 65,000 during Obama’s time as president and is expected to fall to 50,000 after September 1st with the remaining troops serving as a transitional force, advisors to the Iraqi army and police but no longer serving as the country’s first line of defense. It appears, at last, that the Iraq War has finally become the Iraqi War. However, there is still much debate within the different departments of the US government as to whether Iraq is ready for the transition, that it might be too soon. And of course there are the accusations that Obama’s timing is opportunistic in light of the mid-term elections in November. Whatever the case may be, Iraq today, in the second half of 2010, is in a much better state than it was during the darkest days of 2006 and 2007 when the war was at its most unpopular. The sad thing about a campaign like the one in Iraq (for our troops that are there) is that when it doesn’t go well, www.binghamtonreview.com

when our leaders struggle to adapt and our enemy prospers, the American public vocalizes its disgust. In this case, charges of imperial hubris and comparisons of our president to Darth Vader were not uncommon. If you weren’t hating on Bush and company during that time, you were decidedly in the minority. On the flip side, when a war like Operation Iraqi Freedom goes well, or at least is not a disaster, nobody cares. The media doesn’t report it. This has been the story with Iraq in recent years. The first week back in March of ’03 was a smashing success; the Iraqi army was swiftly routed and we all watched it on TV, but once Saddam Hussein was toppled, there was a power vacuum in the country and a painful insurgency

ensued. For four years, our president, his cabinet and our military leaders failed to comprehend the nature of the conflict they had gotten involved in. The news media’s criticisms of the war were justified. We went there with questionable motives and dubious strategizing. Imperial hubris, cultural ignorance, failure to adapt; these are all phrases that come to mind when evaluating the pre-2007 Iraq War. Then came the messiah, the 21st century’s Ulysses S. Grant, to save the day. His name was General David Petraeus and his gospel was counterinsurgency. The “surge,” what many called a last gasp by the Bush White House to salvage a lost cause (which it really kind of was), ended up working better than could have been hoped for by even the

most cheery optimist. But what brought the turnaround was not the addition of more troops but a fundamental shift in strategy from “search and destroy” to “clear, hold and build.” Rather than trying to kill all the insurgents in Iraq, the US military sought to win the support of the population. And guess what, it worked. Iraq, then, ceased to matter to anyone and here we are today, not talking about it with nearly the same zeal we did circa 2006. Remarkably, “Bush’s War,” as the PBS documentary so glibly called it—what was once thought to be an unmitigated disaster with no hope of ever turning around— turned around. Incredibly, our military leaders were able to carry out the Administration’s strategic goal of establishing a pro-American democracy in the Middle East (though it is hardly a model of Jeffersonian liberalism) and even more incredibly, it actually wasn’t that hard. So, the real problem that Bush

critics had with the war was that it wasn’t working. In the early years, support for the invasion was high. As the conflict carried on with nothing to show for, the American people got angry. Abu Ghraib, Guantanamo and other human rights abuses added insult to injury. But when the tides turned following the surge, criticism disappeared and the American people stopped caring. To their credit, the top brass in Washington and the military perceived exactly how distressful the situation in Iraq was and unlike their counterparts in Vietnam, they took a chance and changed their approach to counterinsurgency and it worked. The architects of the surge had varying opinions on whether or not we should have invaded Iraq in the first place (in fact many were skeptical, Petraeus included) but they were in agreement that playing the role of armchair general, criticizing and vilifying the leadership that got us there would

accomplish nothing. It would not make our troops or the Iraqi people any safer or better off. There would be no crying over spilt milk. With this professional and patriotic attitude, David Petraeus and his team of guerrilla warfare experts turned Iraq around to the point where we can finally, in 2010, realistically plan a complete withdrawal. In the future, then, we need to understand that counterinsurgency operations can work given the right environment and capable leaders both in the White House and the Pentagon. We clearly can do this, but the right question in future situations is should we? We shouldn’t have invaded Iraq in 2003, but in 2006-07, that ceased to be relevant. Next time, we need to be sure we know what we are getting ourselves in to when we send our troops abroad. We have, amazingly, gotten what the Bush Administration wanted in Iraq—a democracy—but seven years later we have to ask ourselves, was it worth it?

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SEPTEMBER 2010

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BEST / WORST PROFS

The Best...

Richard MacKenney Courses: HIST 281F (: Italy & Europe), HIST 281U (Wars of Religion), HIST 381H (Machiavelli & The Renaissance) Our Take: This is his third year on the list, and that is because he is the type of teacher that renews your faith in the educators here at Binghamton. His classes provide a very intriguing look upon a fascinating time in history, and he is a humble man who speaks history as though it was his native language. Every lecture leaves the student with the feeling that they are another scholar, and that discourse in the classroom is about the enrichment of knowledge.

teaches a course. Gotlib understands that students learn from each other and from discussion, so she conducts many of her courses as seminars where students discuss issues in a debate-style environment. She forces her students to think outside the box. Gotlib hands out challenging assignments in order to help students improve their writing abilities, learn to argue from alternative philosophical approaches, speak articulately and capably, research through different means, and how to handle workloads just as a professional attorney, businessperson, or corporate officer has to. She incites discussion by asking questions on why students believe the things they do. Her only requirement is that you back your opinions with comprehensive facts.

Our Take: While many professors are extremely dry (history professors are at the top of this list), Kansteiner is a very captivating educator who is capable of providing an unbiased look at the past. He always keeps his personal politics out of the classroom, which is the mark of a great teacher. Do not be late to his class, he loves to pick on someone when they are late.

Eugene Tettey-Fio (Geography)

Anna Gotlib (Philosophy) Wulf Kansteiner (History) Courses: GEOG 103 (Multicultural Geographies of the US), GEOG 333 (Retail Geography) From a Student: “ He is far away from an easy grader, but his students learn..”

Courses: PHIL 148A (Medical Ethics) From a Student: “Anna Gotlib represents the epitome of what a Binghamton University Professor should be. ”

Courses: HIST 345A (The Holocaust), HIST (Modern German History, 1873-Present)

Our Take: As a former Attorney who holds both her J.D. and post-graduate degrees in Psychology and Philosophy, she knows exactly what she is talking about when she

From a Student: “His class on Modern German History (1873-Present) was one of the best courses I took in my entire college career.”

BINGHAMTON REVIEW

Our Take: He has a real passion for what he teaches, but yet his passion does not create a bias when he lectures. While many students will probably not take a class with him, it is definitely worth it to look up his classes for General Education requirements. Retail Geography is in his area of full expertise, and a great class. Also: Gerald Kadish (History) James Lothian (History) John McNulty (Political Science)

SEPTEMBER 2010

...and Worst Professors by the Editors

Herbert Bix (History) Our Take: Herbert Bix is, without a doubt, one of the worst professors here at Binghamton . He is incapable of leaving his politics out of the classroom, and his main passion in life is to prove that everything is the fault of the white men and the neo-conservative conspiracy. A good History professor will show you the dots and will let you try and connect them, but Dr. Bix is more than happy to invent the dots and make up his own connections. Try to avoid this teacher at all costs because the amount of knowledge you will gain is almost non existent, considering the fact that the majority of class time is filled with personal rants and biases.

Diane Sommerville (History) From a Student “I thank her for ruining my experience with the History Department at Binghamton University.” Our Take: Don’t assume that Dr. Sommerville actually has any knowledge of the subject she is teaching. There are so many gaps and black holes in her comprehension of her supposed ‘areas of expertise’, that it is hard to trust her to know if she has any idea what she is talking about. She is an extremely pompous teacher and is incapable of communicating with her students. She assigns excessive amounts of reading, and refuses to listen to her students and Teaching Assistants when they both point this out. Dr. Sommerville does not even have the capability to finish her lectures, and relies heavily on the Teaching Assistants to finish the material. For someone who is supposed to inspire students that want to learn, she does a www.binghamtonreview.com

very good job at staying on her high horse and having a complete disregard for her own students and subject. While teaching Foundations of America, her focus for the course was on underpriviledged groups, such as women, and their role in the Foundation of America. Little attention was paid to anything else, like the mainstream of America’s founding. She exhibits little to no excitement for her subject and her lectures are astoundingly boring. It is the hope of the Review that this professor never gets close to tenure.

Therese Cingrinelli (Political Science) Our Take: Therese Cingrinelli is not just a flagrantly liberal professor, but she is just a downright bad professor. She manages to take 5-10 minutes of actual information and continuously repeat it so that it takes up an hour of your life that you can never get back. Once, she proclaimed that the American Invasion of Iraq was worse for the Iraqis than Saddam Hussein (the man who killed almost 2 million people). In addition, she claimed that the invasion resulted in 500 million children being dislocated. No, that is not a typo in the number, she actually claimed 500 million children had been dislocated.

Juanita Diaz-Cotto (LACAS) Our Take: Professor Diaz makes this list for her rabid, public display of racism at the Student Assembly meeting last year. A professor teaches not only in the classroom, but with all of their interactions with students. Professor Diaz, when speaking on the budgetary cut of the JUMP Nation group, not so subtly alleged a racial bias behind the decision. “Look at the composition of

the Student Association,” Diaz said, “its not a group of peers.” The Assembly is not some racist embodiment of the Klan, it is a group of people who won elections within their community governments and represent them. There are members of the Assembly who are White, Black, Asian, Indonesian, Israeli, English, Bangladeshi, and American citizens from an array of backgrounds (including JUMP Nation). Review finds it interesting that a Professor who fights against classifying and essentializing people based on their skin color is so willing to do it when things don’t go her way. Diaz’s inability to practice the tolerance she preaches, her encouragement of playing the race card, and her racist attack on the Assembly placed her on this list and, most likely, on Kevin Broadus’s legal dream team roster, as well.

William B. Heller (Political Science) Our Take: Do not under any circumstances take a class with him. His teaching will make you hate political science, and he represents everything wrong with intro-level gen-ed professors. He flips a coin to determine whether to give a pop quiz. When he is giving his own opinion, he’s nice enough to let you know that he’s going to by standing up on his desk and saying he’s “on a soap box.” It’s sort of funny the first time, but it gets annoying quickly. Also: Maria Lugones (Comparative Literature) Ali Mazrui (Political Science) William Haver (Comparative Literature) Virginia Brown (Political Science) 21

DINING

Reviewing Restaurants Because you can’t take a hot date out for Sodexo by the Editors

Grande’s Bella Cucina 1171 Vestal Avenue, Binghamton $$$ This place makes the best pizza you are going to get in Binghamton, even if it is more of an Italian restaurant than a pizza place. The menu is typical Italian, though some of the dishes can be hit or miss. Aside from this, the menu overall is good. It is not the best Italian food you have ever had, but you’ll learn not to expect the best here. As for the restaurant itself, there is not a lot of room to sit down in the pizzeria section, so make sure you get your pie to go. The restaurant proper doesn’t suffer from this problem, but it’s always smart to call ahead for wait times on a Friday or Saturday night. On the whole, Grande’s is one of the best places to eat in the city, while being high scale enough but not too expensive.

Mediterranean Gyro 4700 Vestal Parkway E, Vestal $$ Located in University Plaza, Mediterranean Gyro is definitely a restaurant that all students should try at least once. It is really the only place in the Binghamton area to get Greek food (that is not a bar). When there is nice weather (aka May), they open up the doors which gives it a pleasant atmosphere. They have more than just Greek food, and the fries are excellent, so there’s really no reason not to go. The inside is clean and food is relatively inexpensive, but drinks, which only come in cans, cost $1.50. The seating is somewhat close together, which can be a pain if you are sitting down and trying to enjoy a quiet meal. But the food is definitely worth your time. 22

BINGHAMTON REVIEW

Nezüntoz Café Nezüntoz Café 50 Pennsylvania Avenue, Binghamton

Lost Dog Café 222 Water Street , Binghamton

Located on the South Side of Binghamton, it is actually a rather charming place to go for breakfast or to grab something before you go to class. They have a variety of bagels that are shipped from Ithaca Bakery every morning. They have some of the best non-chain coffee in the area, although the fact that it is fair trade makes us worry a little. Relatively inexpensive with a simple menu, it is definitely a place you might end up visiting frequently.

South Side Yanni’s 1200 Vestal Avenue, Binghamton $$ Though it appears to be a typical bar from the exterior, Yanni’s is a place to get great food that you do not hear a lot of people talking about. They have a well-priced menu with a variety of excellent burgers or sandwiches to choose from, in addition to alot of Greek options. However, the standout option on the menu item is their wings (especially the Hot Greek wings). If you are not old enough to drink, avoid eating-in on Friday or Saturday night. Unfortunately, they are closed on Sundays, which is dissapointing because it would be a great place to eat food and watch the game.

$$$$

You’ve stepped back to the 1960’s when you walk through the door of the Lost Dog Cafe. Assaulted by the embodiment of every hippie stereotype present in a single room, anyone with sentience would easily see how this is not exactly the greatest environment for a place to eat. You know as soon as stepping across the threshold that more than likely their menu will have helpful tips as to what is vegetarian and what is vegan, because that is obviously important to you as a patron. If you like eating something fulfilling, this is not your restaurant. Their burgers are plain and their food just isn’t that great. Unless of course you love tofu. Then by all means go to Lost Dog. Oh wait you can’t even find a parking spot because the four spots in front of it are almost always filled (most likely by the employees within (quite communal of them to all drive separately). Your wait will be about four hours because every other pretentious hipster will already be there. Cheers.

Crêpe Heaven 217 Main Street , Binghamton $$ Located on Main Street near Rt. 201, Crêpe Heaven is a destination for cheap delicious crepes. For those unfamiliar with the dish, crepes are a French creation in which thin dough (similar to a pancake) SEPTEMBER 2010

is stuffed with various ingredients. Crepe Heaven features both sweet dessert crepes that can be enjoyed for lunch or dinner. The sweet crepes are extremely tasty and can have fruit, Nutella, and chocolate. The savory crepes are also excellent and feature such fillings as chicken, beef, various cheeses, and vegetables. The location also offers burgers, paninis, espresso, and a nice selection of coffees. With the atmosphere of a café and delicious low-cost food, Crepe Heaven is a must see during your stay at Binghamton.

Park Diner 119 Conklin Avenue, Binghamton $$ Park Diner’s location may make it inaccessible to some or at least somewhat difficult, but at no point should it be completely discredited because of this fact. Situated next to the Susquehanna River, the atmosphere the location exudes is worth you going at least once. The great view and good food definitely makes it worth the trip. They have a good cajun chicken salad that is a Review favorite.

The Spot 1062 Upper Front Street, Binghamton $$$ Way out of town on Upper Front Street past the Regal Cinema is The Spot, a 24 hour diner. A huge interior means that you probably will never have to wait for a seat, though the lack of patrons may also be the reason. I’ve never been here during what

any other establishment would call a “rush”, but The Spot is a staple of the community that has been around for a very long time. The food is good, and their menu is vast, including weird items that one would not expect from a diner, such as fresh fish and sizable steaks. Worth the trip to try it out, and Wednesday is Mac and Cheese night!

Five Guys 4700 Vestal Parkway E, Vestal The french fries are awful (especially the “cajun fries”). The hamburgers are actually pretty tasty but probably not worth the price.

Nirchi’s 1919 Vestal Parkway E, Vestal Every group uses this place for pizza at their GIM’s and for meetings in general. It is not even that good. Some of the toppings are awesome, but for how close they are to campus, their hours suck.

DP Dough 1901 Vestal Parkway E, Vestal The great thing about this place is their late-night delivery. They have a extensive menu so your bound to find a calzone you like. The bread sticks are worth it, too.

Denny’s 4024 Vestal Parkway E, Vestal

Sonic 1103 Upper Front Street , Binghamton

The only reason to ever eat here is because it’s open 24 hours. The food itself is awful.

The drive is definitely not worth it, as the food is awful. Yes they have a lot of drinks you can try but that doesn’t justify a visit there. Also its pain in the ass to find a friend willing to have a bunch of drunken/ high people eating food in their car. And there is just something creepy about having someone on roller skates bringing you food.

A&W Restaurants 1919 Vestal Parkway E, Vestal Surprisingly affordable. The root beer on tap is actually satisfying in one of their frozen glasses. The burgers and fries aren’t half bad as well. Just stay away from the Long John Silvers menu.

Kennedy Fried Chicken 159 Main Street, Binghamton Bring a bullet-proof vest and pray for survival. Honestly, what’s really surprising is that the chicken here isn’t even that good.

K&K’s The Old Teahouse 1101 Bunn Hill Road , Vestal This is a well known hangout spot within walking distance of campus. The lighting isn’t that good, there’s nothing ever on the TV, and the magazines are always months old, but the drinks are absolutely delicious. It’s full of sugar but still tasty. They don’t accept credit cards so make sure you have cash on you.

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Congratulations, Pipe Dream! Awarded “20th best campus newspaper” by Princeton Review

for journalistic excellence like: “An audit is well and good, but are the finances of the team, or the athletic department for that matter, really the problem?”

-Pipe Dream’s words of wisdom on the basketball scandal

Yes. Two weeks into covering the basketball scandal and audit of the Athletics Department, one of the biggest stories to ever hit our campus, Pipe Dream was still under the impression that the team’s finances were being audited. Clearly, Binghamton does not offer a journalism major. Award Winning Journalism!!!

Don’t be modest. You deserved it!