May 2015 Binghamton Review

TRUTH AND TWO STAPLES

MAY 2015

Binghamton Review

POLICE BRUTALITY

BINGHAMTON REVIEW Founded 1987 • MAY 2015

P.O. BOX 6000 BINGHAMTON, NY 13902-6000

EDITOR@BINGHAMTONREVIEW.COM

Contents

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Sean M. Glendon

Managing Editor Jordan Raitses

Layout Editor

William Schneider

Senior Editor

Daniel Milyavsky

Contributors

Yuval Hananya, Thomas Casey, Haim Engelman, David Keptsi, Luke Kusick

Patriarchs of the Review Louis Leonini Adam Shamah

Special Thanks To:

Intercollegiate Studies Institute Collegiate Network Binghamton Review is printed by Gary Marsden

We Provide the Truth, he Provides the Staples

LET’S TAKE A BREATHER

PAGE 8

by Sean Glendon

6 The Iran Deal and Other Nonsense by Yuval Hananya 7

Downtown Abbey by Thomas Casey

10

Candidate Profiling

17

Upstate Secession by David Keptsi

18 A Living Wage is No Wage by Luke Kusick 21

Farewell Binghamton by Dan Milyavsky

Departments 3

EDITORIAL

4

CAMPUS PRESSWATCH

5

WHAT YOU MISSED

20 ENEMIES LIST

TELL US WHAT YOU THINK! Direct letter to editor@binghamtonreview.com 2

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May 2015

EDITORIAL

From the Editor

Dear Readers, Congratulations to the Class of 2015. Take your state-subsidized degrees and go make us proud.

Wear Binghamton University as a badge of honor, and don’t do anything to tarnish our growing reputation. Please. Binghamton Review will be losing our former Editor-in-Chief Daniel Milyavsky to the real world, which you can read about in his “Farewell Binghamton” article. Dan will be dearly missed, especially when it comes to Press Watch.

Verbally abusing other publications was a favorite pastime of his, and he was quite good at it. For as long as I remember Dan’s involvement with The Review, he has wanted a scantily clad woman on the cover of this fine publication, and we have always managed to avoid doing that because it would be hard to work in organically. Anybody that knows Dan knows that he is quite the persistent character, and doing so for his final issue would have been a last hurrah of sorts. We almost caved and did so on the back cover just for him, but we didn’t. You get to enjoy the Washington Monument instead! Anyways, best of luck to Dan, and to the rest of the graduating students.

This past semester has acted as a transitionary period for the publication in my eyes, and I am quite pleased with the direction we are heading. I would like to thank everybody that has contributed this year, and am looking forward to continued high

quality writing from you all. However, there is always room for different opinions and perspectives at Binghamton Review so I am looking forward to seeing new faces next year as well. Next year, the goal is expansion in every sense of the word. More frequent publishing. Longer publications. And overall, a larger presence. And of course, absolutely tearing Hillary Clinton and the RINOs that run for President apart is another goal for next year.

That should be fun.

The good weather is here, and here to stay until our next semester in this frozen tundra begins. Of course, the weather always gets nice as the spring semester is winding down, leaving students with the hard choice between spending their time with the formerly AWOL sun or spending their last moments reading textbooks that they have become all too familiar with. Of course, the correct action in this situation is to study and then take a break by going outside and reading this issue of Binghamton Review from cover to cover. Seriously though, as tempting as the nice weather is, it will be here for the next few months. We’re this close to freedom, let’s finish strong.

Sean Glendon

Our Mission

Binghamton Review is a non-partisan, student-run periodical of conservative thought at Binghamton University. A true liberal arts education expands a student’s horizons and opens one’s mind to a vast array of divergent perspectives. In that spirit, we seek to promote the free exchange of ideas and offer an alternative viewpoint not normally found on our predominately liberal campus. It is our duty to expose the warped ideology of political correctness that dominates this university. We stand against tyranny in all its forms, both on campus and beyond. We believe in the principles set forth in this country’s Declaration of Independence and seek to preserve the fundamental tenets of Western civilization. Finally, we understand that a moral order is a necessary component of any civilized society. We strive to inform, engage, and perhaps even amuse our readers in carrying out this mission.

editor@binghamtonreview.com

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CPampus resswatch “EDM festivals fraught with white privilege” Chelsea Desruisseaux, Pipe Dream This article is so laughably moronic that it reads like an Onion piece, which makes it difficult to Press Watch. I’ve never backed down from a challenge though, unless it required lots of hard work and dedication, so I’ll proceed.

“My experience at this past summer’s Electric Forest Festival proved to me that so many white people just don’t get it...I faced covert racism and microaggressions from pseudo-hippies that left me cynical about festival culture and colorblindness among the younger generation.”

The author goes on to complain how only black people are allowed to wear dreadlocks, and then she has the gall to doubt our generation’s colorblindness. It’s hard to think of a more appropriate time than this to say: Look in the goddamn mirror!

You’re calling other people racist, while generalizing about “so many white people.”

“The amount of white people with dreads at Electric Forest was astounding. I was prepared to be one of the few people of color at the festival, but I wasn’t prepared to see people steal my culture.”

As multiple people in the comments section of the article have pointed out, dreadlocks are not exclusively part of black culture. Celts wore dreads, Indian sadhus wore dreads, etc. Of course, Pipe Dream enforces a strict NO RESEARCH, NO GOOGLE ban on all of its opinion columns, so there was no way for the author to know that. But hell, even if they were invented by “people of color” (I’m not sure why this term it4

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Written by our Staff

self is not considered racist, since it originates from the term “colored,” which was used by Southern segregationists), like jazz and blues were, that doesn’t mean that other people can’t wear them. This entire concept of cultural appropriation is absurd.

Is it suddenly racist for a beginning guitar player to play a Jimi Hendrix riff? How would Jimi have reacted if you told him that? He would have laughed at you, set your guitar on fire, and then done some drugs.

Which brings me to another staggering part of the article…

“Another issue I have with these festivals is the visible drug culture within them. I am by no means judging anyone for their choices, but the role of drugs in the majority-white festivals is vastly different than it is in the black community. As I witnessed the open sale and use of narcotics on the festival campgrounds, I couldn’t help but think about the black and brown people from low-income neighborhoods that are disproportionately thrown in jail for drugs.”

First of all, don’t say that you’re not judging anyone for their choices.

The crux of your entire article is judging people in a very racist and hateful way for their choice of hairstyle. Secondly, this is by far the dumbest reason not to drugs I have ever seen. I, too, disapprove of excessive drug use. But it’s because drugs,

when used in excess, can often sap motivation and have deleterious health effects. It’s most certainly not because the War on Drugs is racist (which it probably is.) It would be like saying, “You know, I was going to eat this sandwich, but there are people in the world who don’t have sandwiches, so I’m just going to starve to death.” Speaking of which, all of this talk of privilege ignores one of the biggest privileges of all: being born in America!

“Overall, my time at the Electric Forest was a bust. The scenery was magical and I got to see Lauryn Hill perform, but this was not a safe space for me to express my love of music as a black woman.”

What about this festival made you feel “unsafe?” Was it white people having the freedom to do the things you believe only minorities should be allowed to do? If that makes you feel unsafe, you’re probably better off locking yourself in a basement for the rest of your life and never coming out, because your hideous leftist worldview just isn’t going to take hold.

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WHAT YOU MISSED Epiphany Munoz, who is a member of Students for Change, lost the election for VPMA. The first time she ran, she was the only one on the ballot, and got 70% of the votes, but that election was disqualified because she used a BlackBoard class listserv to campaign, which is prohibited. In the next election, Ruslan Klafehn ran on a write-in campaign. Nobody really knew what his platform was, but SfC wanted to ban Yik Yak, so all over Yik Yik there were posts urging students to either vote for Ruslan or vote for someone else. We did not endorse Ruslan, because at the political roundtable event he said some leftie nonsense about the need for a racial dialogue and a conversation about race (as if that hasn’t been going on non-stop for the past at least 30 years). But at least he’s not in SfC (he tried to attend one of their planning meetings, and they didn’t let him). He initially got 38% of the vote, and 40% was needed to win, but after the votes that misspelled his name were counted, he was bumped up to 41%. We still feel that the position of VPMA is useless and a drain, but at least SfC has been shown how the campus at large feels about them.

Hillary went to Chipotle, and this is news somehow! God, there’s no way we’re going to have to suffer eight years of this shit, is there?

A black man in Baltimore named Freddie Gray was arrested by police for making eye contact with them, and then running away. For the record, both of these actions are completely legal. While in police custody, his spinal cord was severed by 80%, and he died later editor@binghamtonreview.com

from his injuries. There are mass protests and riots in Baltimore going on now.

The patriot act is up for renewal next June. Odds that there will be significant surveillance reform contained therein aren’t too high.

There is a plan to decriminalize certain offenses, such as public drinking and public urination, in New York City. Overall, summonses seem to be declining, although not quickly enough. About 600,000 were issued in 2006, and about 360,000 were issued in 2014.

Two gay businessmen who hosted a fireside chat with Ted Cruz in their Manhattan, Central Park South, apartment, have expressed deep regret. They own hotels, and they’ve been getting some boycott threats. And it’s conservatives and Republicans that are supposed to be intolerant? The New York Times was also shocked to learn that Cruz would love his daughters just as much if they were gay. In the eyes of many liberals, Republicans are hardly even human Our boy Rand Paul is running for prez! Woot! In his announcement speech, he talked about his time as an eye surgeon, and the satisfaction of being able to diagnose a medical problem and then immediately fix it with surgery. He contrasted this to the federal government, which incorrectly diagnoses problems, and then exacerbates them. Rand Paul would be the first MD president.

Marco Rubio said: “I don’t believe we should be in the business of legalizing additional intoxicants in this country for the primary reason that when you legalize something, what you’re sending a message to young people is it can’t be that bad, because if it was that bad, it wouldn’t be legal.” I didn’t know the government was supposed to play the role of morality enforcer in chief. Is adultery considered not “that bad” now that it’s no longer illegal? Is it worth sending people to prison and ruining your life just in order to “send a message” to young people that they’re not even listening to? You’re dead to me, Marco.

DEAD TO ME! In the early 1960s, the Washington Post fired Jackie Robinson for being too Republican. Robinson replied: “No one will ever convince me that the Post acted in an honest manner. I believe the simple truth is that they became somewhat alarmed when they realized that I really meant to write what I believed. There is a peculiar parallel between some of our great Northern “liberals” and some of our outstanding Southern liberals.

Some of the people in both classes share the deep-seated convictions that only their convictions can possibly be the right ones. They both inevitably say the same thing: “We know the Negro and what is best for him.”

It snowed. In April. Man, I’m geting really tired of this Winter nonsense. Fortunately, May is upon us so let’s hope for some May Flowers after the April Snow-Showers.

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THE IRAN DEAL AND OTHER NONSENSE

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The Iran Deal and Other Nonsense Written By Yuval Hananya Politics. You gotta love it, right?

The dirty deals, the secrecy, the deception – it’s the heart and soul of our political system. It’s exactly how this Iran Deal became what it is. I do not and will not pretend to have all of the answers. Many people who I have spoken to simply throw their hands in the air and say “whatever”, or, “any deal is a good deal” – but it’s not that simple. We are not negotiating with reasonable people. I do not have all of the answers, but this deal is not a good one.

I am opposed to this deal with Iran.

See, while the deal is necessary, a deal in which they hold all the cards is not. We negotiated from a position of weakness as opposed to strength. Remember, Iran is a state sponsor of terrorism. They are the same country that held hostage sixty-six American diplomats for well over a year in 1979. They are the same country that yells death to America in the streets today. They call for the destruction of Israel – America’s closest ally and the only Democracy in the Middle East. The sanctions work. They serve their purpose to hurt the Iranian economy and punish them for bankrolling terrorism in the Middle East,

terrorism that effects everyone, not just Israel, and not just the United State. And for that reason they need this deal more than we do. They are crippled. They seem to believe they are calling all of the shots. As the June 30th deadline approached, Iran continues to make demands of America, such as an immediate suspension of sanctions.

And there are still many questions left unanswered with this deal.

Many of the issues arise when you delve into the details of the deal.

For example, how exactly does Iran intend on going about reducing its stockpile of low-enriched Uranium, the key material in developing a bomb? Furthermore, Iran will continue its research and development on centrifuges. While Iran will “not” be getting a bomb (supposedly), it’s getting much, much more through the lifting of $anctions.

The Obama Administration and John Kerry are making a last ditch effort on foreign policy through this deal. Let’s call it “saving face” for all the other ways the world has fallen apart under their leadership (Russia, Syria, etc.). In doing so, they have thrown our allies under

the bus. Israel, Saudi Arabia, and Egypt all share the same views on the deal. Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu addressed both houses of Congress urging both parties to realize the true nature of the Iranian government, and that the deal could be better. He spoke to the notion that America and Iran share a common enemy, ISIS, by clarifying that while the enemy is common, the goal is not. Iran is simply competing with ISIS over who will be the ruler of the Islamic empire each individually seeks to create. In this scenario, he explains, “the enemy of your enemy is your enemy.” While in theory the deal is a good thing, we all know that when one party sponsors terrorism and calls for the destruction of other nations, well, you know where this one’s going.

Other things that are good in theory but tend to not actually work out: communism – see?

From the beginning of his second term in 2013, Barack Obama and his administration have publicly and repeatedly stated that the estimated breakout time for an Iranian Nuclear Weapon was a year. We now know that the real breakout time – at most three months – was kept a secret. Why? Because what better way to convince the American people a deal is necessary than to create a sense of urgency. The State Department is also unwilling to rule out the potential $50B “signing-bonus” Iran would get upon completion of the deal.

I wonder if there is something the Iranians aren’t getting in this deal.

I also wonder how grateful Hillary Clinton is to be as far away from this mess as possible, but I don’t care to email her to find out. Well, I hope it all works out for Neville Chamberlain Barack Obama.

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BINGHAMTON REVIEW

May 2015

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Downtown Abbey

DOWNTOWN ABBEY

Written By Thomas Casey Binghamton University, in what can only be the early onset of a midlife crisis, bought a castle in Broome County. From February 1864 to 1993, the castle served as the New York State Inebriate Asylum and the Binghamton Asylum for the Chronic Insane. Administrators everywhere are bracing for the inevitable onslaught of jokes like “Isn’t that BU campus crazy enough!” and “Well, now SUNY has two inebriate asylums near Binghamton, New York!” Seriously though, before buyer’s remorse hits hard, the administration has to decide what to do with its 85,000 foot impulse buy. New York State will award BU $12.5 million to renovate the landmark. The administration is sure to announce its plans soon.

Here are some predictions:

Binghamton University School of Medicine Prior to Binghamton’s purchase, the castle was owned by SUNY Upstate Medical. Upstate planned to transform the landmark into a satellite campus. Architectural plans and renovations were already underway. Upstate’s operations were derailed by the 2008 recession. The additional funds from New York State can go a long way in developing a competitive medical school.

Binghamton’s School of Pharmacy is chugging towards completion.

A complimentary medical school would round out Binghamton’s status as a headline research university. Also, a BU med school would finally shut up Stony Brook supporters. Their med school’s the only clout they cling to in the ultimate debate regarding the true premier public university in the Northeast. editor@binghamtonreview.com

A New Downtown Center The current DCR largely services the College of Community and Public Affairs. Dedicated bus lines keep reliable service for the relatively small number of Binghamton students engaged at the college. The DRC’s a nice, well located oasis. It makes sense to have the college about community and the public located within the community and public of downtown Binghamton.

The Binghamton Castle presents another similar opportunity. The Castle is an excellent host for the Decker School of Nursing. A similar bus system to the DCR could transport Decker students from campus to the Castle. The longstanding medical history and recent ownership of Upstate Medical render the Castle an excellent environment for Binghamton’s nursing program. Offshoring Decker frees up Academic B for other departments. Namely, the quickly growing School of Management could extend into its neighbor from Academic A.

A Spooky Haunted House I can’t attest to deaths in the Binghamton Castle, but any edifice that carries the title “asylum” must have several specters lurking in the halls.

A spooky haunted house would fulfill many university functions.

Campus fraternities could incorporate the supernatural setting to test the willpower of its overconfident pledges. The Paranormal Student Association could conduct meetings. Admissions officers could consult the spirits about candidate selections. Also, Oneonta’s the only

other SUNY with a haunted house, and they’ve been bragging about it for years. The even more terrifying Binghamton Castle would finally solidify BU as the spookiest public university in the Northeast.

An Inebriate Asylum Harpur’s Ferry transported you six times last semester? You’re studying abroad in Happy Land. A fully functional inebriate asylum would significantly decrease the number of embarrassing drunk incidents on campus. Plus, the Decker students could practice electroshock therapy.

“Well, now SUNY has two inebriate asylums near Binghamton, New York!”

Conclusion Whatever the administration chooses to do with the Binghamton Castle, the student body should be proud. BU took a big risk assuming control of a National Landmark.

Every little bit of history and functionality the Binghamton Castle provides grows our status as a top university. I just hope the former asylum doesn’t steal too much of BU’s spotlight. I don’t want incoming students to think “being admitted” to Binghamton is a bad thing.

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LET’S TAKE A BREATHER

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Let’s Take a Breather Written By Sean Glendon In the recent past, I’ve focused my writing within this publication to more light-hearted topics than I had when I initially began writing. My writing shifted from that of standard, serious academia to more sarcasm and humor. This topic is one that needs to be discussed and in a way that requires sincerity, and seriousness. In our September/ October 2013 issue, I wrote an article entitled “Stop Sensationalizing Shooters” in the wake of the September 16, 2013 Washington Navy Yard shooting. This article, which is available to view online, argued that the media’s glorification of mass killers was grossly inappropriate and had the potential to encourage copycats looking for attention. In that instance, I was opposed to the approach taken by the media. I have previously been outspoken against the actions of the media in other circumstances, and rightfully so.

When it comes to media coverage, certain stories are held on to for dear life to suck up the attention of viewers. CNN absolutely obsessed over missing Malaysian Airlines Flight 370 for a very extended period of time, disregarding various other topics of importance at the time. In a limited news cycle, more coverage of one topic will lead to less coverage of another topic. In most cases in the modern era, the overcovered topic ends up being one of extremely limited significance relative to other topics. Possibly the most clear cut example of the poor prioritization of the media occurred on January 22, 2014 when MSNBC host Andrea Mitchell interrupted Congresswoman Jane Harman’s discussion of the NSA surveilling Americans for the “Breaking News” that Justin Bieber was arrested. This was by no means 8

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an isolated incident, and shows the extent of the downfall of the intellectual media. Of course, it can be easily argued that Americans care more about trivial topics like celebrities than matters of politics and substance and as a result the news corporations focus their attention to these more profitable topics. In general, the media sensationalizes whatever will sell and as of late, what sells is death at the hand of police officers.

“With the creation and increased availability of the smartphone, the citizen journalist became an unavoidable force to be reckoned with.”

It is no secret that militarization within the police force in America has occurred. Pistols have been replaced with assault rifles in many cases, and the frequency of the use of SWAT teams has increased to the point that they have become commonplace in drug busts. On the other hand, American citizens have become more armed with a weapon of their own: the smartphone.

With the creation and increased availability of the smartphone, the citizen journalist became an unavoidable force to be reckoned with. Now, anything questionable done in public has a high chance of being documented and shared with the world. CNN has over one million registered iReporters, and that number continues to grow.

With the citizen journalist and the high-speed exchange of information, we have the ability to be in the eye of the storm like Hurricane Sandy. We can be in the crowd of the Boston Marathon as pressure cooker bombs explode. We can be

a part of the celebrations when our team wins the Super Bowl. We can be a part of an anti-austerity riot in Greece.We can be on Bay Street in Staten Island as Eric Garner’s life flashes before his eyes at the hands of an NYPD officer.

And it isn’t just Eric Garner. It’s Michael Brown. It’s Tamir Rice. It’s Jason Harrison. It’s Walter Scott. It’s Eric Harris. It’s Freddie Gray. And it’s whoever else is killed by a police officer between my typing and your reading, because in all likelihood there will be another name added to this list by then. There has been absolute outrage to these deaths, and a perceived increase in police brutality. However, many experts have argued that there isn’t actually an increase in police brutality, but an increase in cell phones and thus documentation of the police brutality.

In 2014, at least 1,100 people were killed by police, and at least 91 people were killed by police in January 2015. The FBI estimates that 400 people are killed by police annually, but their statistics are created from voluntary reports that only 4% of law enforcement agencies offer. Assuming the number 1,100, which comes from Killed By Police and has information about each person and includes news reports, is correct, there was a 43.4% increase in deaths at the hand of police between 2013 and 2014. In 2013, 767 people were killed by police, making police more fatal than accidental firearm discharge (505 deaths in 2013), tuberculosis (555 deaths in 2013), and syphilis (49). Are police worse than an STD that gives those with it genital sores? Well, police are more likely to kill you than syphilis.

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Clearly, there is some disparity between reported numbers and actual deaths. If something is to be done about police brutality, it would be beneficial to understand the extent of the problem. Unfortunately, realistically this is only something that can be tracked going forward as it would be extremely difficult to retroactively correct these numbers.

There is another misconception that being a police officer is a job that is full of danger and requires constant fear for one’s life, but when the Bureau of Labor Statistics released data on fatal work injuries in 2013, police officer was nowhere to be found on the top 10 most dangerous jobs list. Being a truck driver, working in construction or being a roofer or pilot are all more dangerous than being a police officer, with logging jobs being the most dangerous jobs. Interestingly enough, being a “pig” is less dangerous than working with pigs, as “Farmers, Ranchers, and Other Agricultural Managers” made the list.

Police brutality is a problem filled with misperceptions and miscalculations. Since numbers are inaccurate, experts have to rely on hunches more so than hard data

editor@binghamtonreview.com

LET’S TAKE A BREATHER

to determine if there has been an increase in police brutality or just an increase in coverage. Either way, something must be done to curb the violence of those with the duty to protect the public at large. It is important to note that the police have a duty to protect the public at large, not YOU, as Warren v. District of Columbia determined: “the duty to provide public services is owed to the public at large, and, absent a special relationship between the police and an individual, no specific legal duty exists.” So what can be done about this problem?

For one, the media should continue to focus their attention on these killings when they occur. Clearly, I am quick to hate on the media but this is something that deserves attention. An aware public is a catalyst to change, and raising awareness is something positive that the media can be done. However, the narratives that the media portray the victims are often done in ways to tarnish their reputation, almost justifying the killing by the police.

While a balanced and unbiased reporting job should be done, the presentation of facts often turns into a mudslinging campaign. Even somebody with multiple prior convictions should not be killed over

selling cigarettes. Robbery is not punishable by death. The police have been using aggressive force to overstep their boundaries and have become the judge, jury and executioner in many cases. And most times, there is no trial at all. The “criminal” is hit with a bullet instead of a gavel, and the officer behind the gun manages to be cleared of charges without a trial. Going against the presumption of innocence, the “criminal” is left lifeless and defenseless, while there is no opportunity to prove the police officer guilty of anything. A police officer could justifiably kill somebody under certain circumstances, but isn’t that for a jury to decide?

Since the increase in cell phones has led to an increased awareness of this huge problem, there should be more consideration to another use of cameras - mandatory body-worn cameras for police.

Police Foundation Executive Fellow, Chief Tony Farrar, conducted a study on body cameras and his study suggested “more than a 50% reduction in the total number of incidents of use-of-force compared to control-conditions, and nearly ten times more citizens’ complaints in the 12-months prior to the experiment.” Not only would body cameras prevent misbehavior, but in the case of an incident, an accurate depiction of events would be more readily available for the appropriate parties to view and analyze.

Between dashcams, civilians with cell phones and police worn body cameras, it would be relatively clear as to what transpired in such an instance.

Eric Garner’s last words were “I can’t breath.” “Fuck your breath,” Eric Harris was told as his life was taken. Americans are holding their breath in fear of increasing police authority and militarization. We deserve to breath a sigh of relief.

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CANDIDATE PROFILES

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Candidate Profiling

The presidential candidates (for 2016!) are piling up, so the Binghamton Review is here to straighten things out.

Ted Cruz

by Haim Engelman

Bush, being the longest serving solicitor general in Texas history, and conducting a 21 hour long speech against Obama-care on the Senate floor.

Senator Cruz is running as a bold, uncompromising conservative, who is focused on constitutionally backed government. Cruz falls to the right of every hot button issue.

He opposes a federal definition of marriage and believes in State’s rights to define marriage and the legal status of marijuana; although he supports traditional marriage and the continuation of the weed prohibition.

Born in Calgary, Canada in 1970, Rafael Edward “Ted” Cruz was the first to officially announce his candidacy for presidency. His announcement was delivered in a speech at Liberty University on March 23, where Cruz told a crowd of about 11,000 students, who were forced to attend by the university on the threat of a 10$ fine, that he plans to run for president. “It is a time for truth. It is a time for liberty. It is a time to reclaim the Constitution of the United States,” Cruz told the cheering crowd.

A graduate of Princeton University and Harvard Law (read, “real schools”), Senator Cruz continued on to hold a host of impressive positions through out his career.

He served as a law clerk to Chief Justice William Rehnquist and held positions in the Federal Trade Commission and the Department of Justice. Amongst Senator Cruz’s more notable works and achievements are serving as deputy policy advisor to President George W. 10

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When it comes to electability, Senator Cruz will have a tough time. As a stark conservative, he has bucked heads with party leadership on many occasions, including 73 votes against the party line. As such, Cruz will have a tough time gaining support of moderates as well as organizations that closely ally with the Republican Party leadership.

Rick Perry

by Sean Glendon

People do not think Rick Perry is a smart man. He has a case of whatever George W. Bush has. Texasitis?

Maybe sounding unintelligible is a Texan thing, or maybe it is a prerequisite for being Governor of Texas.

Rick Perry’s biggest gaffe occurred in a Republican debate in 2011, where he couldn’t remember the Department of Energy when listing the three agencies he would cut if elected. While he blames this and other questionable statements during his last presidential run, he has replaced his contacts with a pair of Jean Lafont glasses in hopes of looking more intelligent. And it’s actually working to some extent.

“Perry also differentiates himself from other candidates through his military service he achieved the rank of Captain during his five year Air Force service.”

Rick Perry has a legitimate resume, being a three term governor of Texas and a huge proponent of the 10th Amendment and states’ rights to that point that some believe he is in favor of secession. Perry also differentiates himself from other candidates through his military service - he achieved the rank of Captain during his five year Air Force service. However, an August 2014 indictment for abuse of power over a threat to veto state public corruption prosecutor funding may be a hard hurdle for Perry to overcome.

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Jeb Bush

by Haim Engelman

John Ellis “Jeb “Bush is by many counts the current frontrunner for the republican nomination, even though he has not officially announced his run yet. They say people are afraid of change and here you have it; but it becomes difficult to blame the American people for this aversion after enduring the Obama regime, that campaigned on a mantra of “change, change, and more change.” Jeb Bush is the son of former president George H. W. Bush and younger brother to George W. Bush. Jeb, a former twotime Florida Governor, is seen as a middle of the road party establishment favorite.

Of course Bush has a bit of an issue in when it comes to his family ties.

His brother’s legacy leaves many younger voters on the edge, weary of wars abroad and the economic decline they began to feel during W.’s presidency. Yet with Rand Paul’s daddy issues and Hillary’s mess of a husband, family connections are an impediment that is felt beyond the Bush campaign and in both parties.

Jeb deviates from the party perhaps most clearly on education reform. editor@binghamtonreview.com

CANDIIDATE PROFILES

As chairman of Foundation for Excellence in Education, Bush is a strong supporter of Common Core, which will prove a hard sell to many republicans. Additionally, many see Bush as weak on immigration for his support of a path to legalization, although Bush has said that he would overturn Obama’s executive actions on immigration if he were elected.

With his more “moderate” image and his targeting of traditionally non-republican voters such as Hispanic and Jewish people, Jeb certainly has a strong shot at the nomination. With a republican primary race that has candidates of many different stripes, Jeb has carved a clear niche for himself as the moderate to watch. The question that remains is that while the middle of the road policy might seem to be the safe zone, the Republican Party is facing a transitional period, so how can the face of the future be such a familiar one from the past?

Waka Flocka Flame

by David Keptsi

On the widely celebrated national holiday of 4/20, an unexpected dark horse threw his hat into the political arena. I’m talking

of course, about the announced presidential campaign of Atlanta’s very own beloved and well-spoken hip-hop artist, Waka Flocka Flame.

And in his presidential announcement video Waka Flocka goes quite “hard in the motherfucking paint” indeed. Running as an independent, Waka’s platform is largely focused on the following issues.

Legalizing of Marijuana: Uttering the motto “A blunt a day will keep the pain away” Waka’s stance on weed is evident, as he supports the full legalization of Marijuana or in the words of his Vice Presidential nominee DJ Whoo Kid “unlimited weed” Education: Waka Flocka takes a harsh stance on education stating that every kid has has to learn his lyrics before they graduate high school or risk restarting their education from the third grade.

Separation of Powers: Waka shows a disrespect for congressional authority, saying “fuck congress! I am congress” while this may seem a bit autocratic or fascistic of him, it’s still highly doubtful that he’d be able to surpass Barack Obama’s record use of executive orders. On paper, Waka Flocka looks like a pretty good candidate, however two issues will likely come up as he campaigns for office. The first being the fact Waka Flocka is 28 and the minimum age to run for president is 35, however seeing as Ted Cruz wasn’t actually born in the United States, presidential requirements are a lot more maneuverable than many may believe. The second issue however totally illlegitimizes his campaign, as his policy of banning people with a shoe size above 13 from walking on the street is blatant foot shaming and will earn him a great deal of public ire.

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NOPE editor@binghamtonreview.com

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CANDIDATE PROFILES

Rick Santorum

by Sean Glendon

If you Google “Santorum,” you will learn that the word has come to mean “the frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex.” This definition came to be in 2003 as the result of a competition held by Dan Savage to define the last name of homophobic Pennsylvania former Senator Richard John Santorum.

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old Virginia-born man is an absolute nutjob. Rick Santorum compared Obamacare to apartheid in a speech that was a tribute to Nelson Mandela. Rick Santorum doesn’t believe a right to privacy is constitutionally protected. Rick Santorum as compared homosexuality to beastiality and is in favor of laws against polygamy, sodomy and other sex-related things including pornography that are “antithetical to a healthy, stable, traditional family.”

And last, but definitely not least, after the death of a child born prematurely, Rick Santorum and his wife slept with their 20 week old dead child between them before bringing him home the next day to introduce to their other children as “your brother Gabriel.” Expect for him to make some cringeworthy remarks in debates before hopefully dropping out of the race and falling into permanent obsolescence.

Marco Rubio

by Haim Engelman

That should tell you all you need to know about Rick Santorum, but it somehow doesn’t. This man has a following. When he suspended his 2012 campaign, he had won 11 primaries and caucuses. Rick Santorum may have only a couple of Mitt Romney fuck ups from away from winning the Republican nomination, which means he shouldn’t be overlooked in 2016. While he has no official campaign or exploratory committee yet, there is no doubt that he will be running again.

When I went to CPAC in 2014, I listened to this man speak, and he spoke on core values of Americans and the family unit. He minimized mentions of his absurd social views and if he manages to keep that up, he can be a threat. But, this 56 year 14

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There has been quite a discussion over the authenticity of Republican nominee hopeful Marco Rubio’s family story. Did they leave Cuba for America before or after Castro

took over? Was one of his grandparents here illegally for four years before being granted citizenship?

The questions drag on along the line of pedantic inquiry reminiscent to the “Barak Obama was born in Kenya” era.

One thing is for certain; Rubio has lived the American Dream. The son of a bartender and a hotel maid, Rubio went to college initially on a football scholarship and ultimately received his J.D from the University of Miami Law School. After graduating, Rubio served as City Commissioner in West Miami then as a State Senator and as Speaker of the House in Florida’s Senate before ultimately representing Florida in the United States Senate. Although he is a career politician, Senator Rubio is relatively young at 43 years old and fairly new to Washington, having assumed office there in 2011.

Senator Rubio has focused his campaign on what he calls, “The New American Century,” with himself as it’s forward focused leader. Rubio has a centrist Republican platform that includes strong foreign policy elements, overturning Obamacare, and fiscal reform.

Rubio stands out from the pack of GOP nomination hopefuls in the fact that he is neither an old blood establishment republican, like Jeb Bush, nor a die-hard farright candidate, like Ted Cruz or Ben Carson. The image he is trying to portray is youthful and full of hope and appealing to minority and younger voters (remind you of anyone?). That being said, he does not lack big money political support and is well known to head an efficient fundraising machine.

Rubio is definitely one of the more interesting candidates to watch.

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Scott Walker

by David Keptsi

Scott Walker, also known as “Scott Walker Texas Ranger”, “The Milkman of Milwaukee” and “Milwaukees Finest” is undoubtedly the biggest badass who is officially running for the Republican Party’s nomination so far. Scott Walker never graduated college, rather he decided to leave the university in “good standing” with a 2.6 GPA. Obviously the man was too tough for the bullshit of college and wanted to carve his own path in life.

Scott Walker’s general Badassery could also be seen later in a bill he signed as governor that made women who wanted abortions look directly at their ultrasounds before having the babies aborted. This bill affirmed his manly cowboy nature by showing everyone his desire to look an enemy square in the eyes before they died.

Scott Walker is a manly man among manly men, and that can be seen in his political views as well. As an Evangelical Christian conservative, Scott walker supports the Wisconsin ban on gay marriage, opposes legalization of marijuana and has cut state funding from abortion editor@binghamtonreview.com

CANDIDATE PROFILES

clinics. While these stances on social issues will likely screw him out of many votes in any general election, his unflinching support of Christian ideals makes him a party darling.

Fiscally, Walker has been hard on budget issues, frequently using budget cuts to fix his state’s deficit. He has attempted to do so by cutting the state budget significantly in the areas of education and Medicare while trying to stimulate business by cutting taxes across the board. As far as the republican candidates go, he isn’t too bad, and I look forward to seeing his bare-chested manly antics or “mantics” as the competition for the nomination heats up.

Rand Paul

by Daniel Milyavsky

Not to brag or anything, but I liked Rand Paul before it was cool. I donated $10 to his 2010 Senate campaign, which to date has been only of two political contributions I have ever made (the other was to Scott Brown’s run earlier that same year).

So I guess you could say Rand and I go way back ;) Rand Paul’s actual first name is

Randall, and when he was younger, he was called “Randy.” His wife shortened it to Rand, so no, he’s not named after Ayn Rand. He grew up in Texas, and attended Baylor. He scored so well on his MCAT that he was accepted to Duke Medical School before completing his last year in undergrad (it may have helped that his father attended Duke for med school as well). As someone who just went through the med school application process, I know that you have to start applying to med school the summer before the year you want to enter (so basically 14 months before). Does this mean that Randy took the MCAT after his sophomore year? He’s that awesome, so I wouldn’t put it past him.

Speaking of which, a friend of mine told me a rumor that while at Duke, Rand Paul was disappointed that the cadavers were acquired through the government, and he wanted to privatize the cadaver acquisition process. His classmates at the time must’ve said, “What the fuck, Randy? It’s hard enough memorizing every single little bone in the body, all the steps of the Krebs cycle, and all the different kinds of T-cells. How do you find the time for this shit?” I actually got to ask Dr. Paul about this the one time I met him in D.C., (courtesy of some well-connected rabbis) and he chuckled and said that the story was a “fabrication.” Oh well.

I guess some things are too good to be true.

Randy landed a residency in ophthalmology (that means eye surgery. If you can spell it on your first try, you should hit up the spelling bee circuit) after med school, which is considered among the most competitive specialties today (I have no idea what it was like in Binghamtonreview.com

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1988). Not quite satisfied with having a beautiful wife and making probably about a third of a mil a year, Rand embarked on a project.

In the 90s, the American Board of Ophthalmology changed its rule to require that younger eye doctors be recertified every ten years. Older physicians were already certified for life, so they were grandfathered out of this new rule. Dr. Randy was not happy about this. He started his own certification board, the National Board of Ophthalmology, and sent letters with lines like “We won’t be trod upon. You can’t promulgate injustice without consequences.” Maybe he should’ve tried something a little more eye doctorish, like, “We’ll remove those old bastards from power just like we remove cataracts from actual old people!” but once again, oh well.

If you want the whole story about this, there’s a great Washington Post article about it, entitled “How Rand Paul tried to lead an eye doctors’ rebellion.” My favorite part of the story concerns when Randy list his address incorrectly in one filing with the state of Kentucky (where he moved to practice medicine after completing his residency).

He listed his address as a house in Portsmouth, Ohio. Paul actually lived in Bowling Green, Kentucky.

The person who lived in the Ohio house was a pro-wrestler named Dirk “Extreme” Cunningham. The reporter who wrote the WaPo article asked the wrestler if he was an ophthalmologist. “No,” he said.

“Wish I was.”

Paul fought the good fight, sort of.

His effort was a little half assed, and he seemed more interested in making a statement than actually setting up an alternative board certification system. He was never paid by the Board though, and he donated its last remaining cash to charity when it was dissolved, so at 16

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least he’s honest. It’s hard to imagine Hillary Clinton doing that.

None of this is why you should support Rand Paul for President in 2016. I could’ve written about Randy’s 13 hour filibuster, or about his efforts to reform our criminal justice system and our drug wars, or how he’s the only Republican running for President who doesn’t want to get involved in every possible war. But there’s a million articles about that already, and you can easily Google them. The reason I support Rand Paul, and the reason you should, is that he’s a principled and committed libertarian. He cares more about limiting the size of government than he does about pleasing lobbyist pals. Can you say the same thing about Jeb Bush or Marco Rubio? Speaking of which, if I hear the phrase “New American Century” one more time, I think I’m gonna puke. Which I guess means I’m in for a lot of puking.

Anyway, you should vote for Rand, if you’re a registered Republican.

And if you’re not, and he gets the nomination, vote for him in the general. He’s a good guy. He does free eye surgery for people in places like Guatemala. And he’s someone who takes classical liberal ideas seriously. John Locke, Frederic Bastiat, and Milton Friedman would have approved. And hey, maybe I’ll follow in his footsteps, and become a physician/Senator myself one day! I wouldn’t bet on it, but we’ll see!

BONUS:

Attorney General Profile:

Loretta Lynch

by David Keptsi

After weeks of Republican complaints and side-tracking (primarily due to her support of Obama’s executive action on immigration),

Loretta Lynch has finally replaced Eric Holder as the new Attorney General of the United States.

Based on her qualifications, Loretta Lynch makes a solid choice for the new Attorney General: humble beginnings in North Carolina, Ivy League education, and experience as district attorney of east New York. Lynch has made a name for herself prosecuting difficult terrorism and political corruption cases.

In addition to her qualifications, Loretta Lynch will also become the first African-American attorney general, a fact widely toted by the Democrats. If Loretta Lynch is so great , why are Republicans so against her? The answer? Cronyism.

The previous Attorney General, Eric Holder gained a lot of controversy due to his alleged cover-ups and scandals such as his refusal to admit possessing knowledge or memos of the failed “Fast and Furious” operation and refusal to persecute people involved in the IRS targeting of political groups with Republican affiliations. Such controversies are pretty indicative of political favoritism and Republicans likely expect the democratic Loretta Lynch to follow suit. Cronyism in the cabinet is nothing new or even unexpected as presidents have been appointing cabinet members loyal to them for quite some time. John F Kennedy appointed his own brother as Attorney General despite Robert Kennedy’s limited legal experience.

Andrew Jackson was infamous for appointing friends and family to government positions in his “Spoils System”. Any favoritism shouldn’t be unexpected, as nepotism in government is not a recent phenomenon. Thankfully, Loretta Lynch is still very qualified and hopefully she will try to abstain from repeating the failures of her predecessor.

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ARTICLE TITLE

Upstate Secession: Pennsylvania State at Binghamton?

Written By David Keptsi Depending on who you ask, the allowance of fracking is either seen as a highly lucrative business venture or a dangerous environmental hazard for townships. While fracking won’t actually make gasoline pour from your sinks as many more naive individuals may believe, there have been numerous studies supporting the fact that it may not be the healthiest natural gas extraction process for local public well-being. 15 towns in upstate New York however, are more interested in the financial aspects of the practice and are highly distraught about New York governor Andrew Cuomo’s fracking ban. These 15 towns in the Broome, Delaware, Sullivan and Tioga counties have decided that they’ve had enough and want to secede to the nearby state of Pennsylvania (which allows

fracking). Other than the jobs and increased local revenue generated by fracking, these townships also hope to acquire the lower property tax rates and lower costs for business from Pennsylvania.

This isn’t the first time parts of New York have wanted to secede either, as many Binghamton students may be shocked to find out plans for the secession of Long Island have existed since 1896. Long Island secession isn’t a thing of the past either, as in 2008 representatives from Suffolk and Nassau counties have supported a proposed plan to separate Long Island from the rest of New York and create the 51st state of the United States. If anything the plans for a Long Island secession have gone even farther than those of upstate New York and Nassau County

Executive Edward Mangano apparently commissioned a study on the logistics in 2010. Unfortunately for supporters of secession, the upstate towns require the permission of the Pennsylvania, New York and U.S. legislatures to secede while the Long Island movement only needs permission from New York and the U.S.

“15 towns in upstate New York however, are more interested in the financial aspects of the practice and are highly distraught about New York governor Andrew Cuomo’s fracking ban.”

Historically, state and federal legislatures have rejected secession bills on every occasion so any chance at success is quite a long shot. Despite the implausibility of secession, the existence of the upstate secession movement reveals a somewhat troubling fact. While Andrew Cuomo may not believe in fracking, a sizeable amount of towns do.

New York is generally accepted as a blue-democratic state but much of the upstate region leans conservatively. This dichotomy between geographic political preferences shows that the upstate region does have an uncomfortable spot in New York Politics, as their votes and beliefs have a much lower chance at being accounted for in the highly liberal New York.

editor@binghamtonreview.com

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LIVING WAGE IS NO WAGE

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A “Living” Wage is No Wage Written By Luke Kusick

Since the inception of the federal minimum wage back in 1938, earlier if you account for the attempt in 1933 to establish a minimum wage of .25 cents an hour, which was struck down by the Supreme Court as unconstitutional, the argument that has been made by politicians, the public and people who frankly never took a basic economics course is for a higher minimum wage in order for it to be a “living” wage. The argument for a living wage stems from the idea that the poorest of the poor who work these jobs are not able to move up the socio-economic latter due to not receiving enough money from their jobs because of a multiple of reasons, mainly of course greedy capitalists who want to impoverish the country while hording all the money to themselves.

This idea is not only naïve, but also based on no grounded facts or any basic economic background.

As Murray Rothbard said “it is no

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crime to be ignorant of economics, which is, after all, a specialized discipline and one that most people would consider to be a ‘dismal science.’ But it is totally irresponsible to have a loud and vociferous opinion on economic subjects while remaining in the state of ignorance.”

Every single economist unilaterally agrees that an increase in the minimum wage directly affects the amount of people employed. When the amount people are forced to be paid goes up, the supply of workers who are willing to work increases, which makes sense. As the amount of money that employers are forced to pay employees goes up, the amount of people who will want to work at an increased wage goes up. However, at the same time, employers demand for workers goes down as the wage increases causing unemployment. A simple Keynesian graph (I know the scary graph man who somehow is still recognized as a ‘good’ economist makes it into an Austrian discussion on

economics) shows the relationship between employment and the increase in the minimum wage.

Before the minimum wage is set, the market creates a wage that the most amounts of people will work at and that employers will hire the most amount of people, an equilibrium wage. However, once the government tries to artificial raise the wage above the equilibrium, the wage of some workers will increase; however, a lot more will become unemployed and only further the problem of poverty in this country.

Another argument that always stems from needing a living wage is that the cost of living has risen tremendously and employers should be forced to pay more in order to compensate for the increase in price. Many argue that two people who work minimum wage jobs should be able to provide for a family of four. What they see is the price of everything going up in

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“it is no crime to be ignorant of economics, which is, after all, a specialized discipline and one that most people would consider to be a ‘dismal science.’ But it is totally irresponsible to have a loud and vociferous opinion on economic subjects while remaining in the state of ignorance.”

America, mostly due to liberal and republican policies that increase taxes, increase spending, bailout failing corporations, fund illegal wars, kill innocent civilians, and then inflate the dollar to the point where it is worth a fraction of what it was worth in the 1960s.

When people who use the living wage argument see that prices rise, they simply refuse to ask the question why; they immediately create a scapegoat to try to push the problem onto, in this case employers. In the mind of the average progressive, America’s shortcomings come from entrepreneurs and businessmen rather than the government who erodes any time of free market society to flourish. The issue of people not having enough money to live a good life is an issue and certainly having a more livable wage is plausible but by simply increasing the minimum wage not only are you threating and making poorer the same people who you champion and venerate but you are also passing the buck down to the next generation to deal with.

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we can loosen laws. For example, if I was an average Joe who somehow found a way in my backyard to simply plant enough food to sell on the corner for the street to outcompete the local supermarket I couldn’t simply go onto the corner and sell my fruit. Instead I would have to apply for special licensing, which will cost thousands of dollars, get proper inspections every year, another thousands of dollars, and apply for special permits on permits that will finally permit me to sell my fruit. At this point I can no longer outcompete the grocery chain but rather must make up for the cost that the state has put onto me in order to sell fruit that I grow in the backyard. This forces many people to instead of going out there to make their own small business to instead work for minimum wage or for a salary that would make them less money then they would make independently.

The problem that we now face is overregulation. Overregulation of the free market has led to the prob-

lems we see in society. The more and more restrictions we put on individuals to make it for themselves, the more and more poverty will naturally grow. Selling something in this country should be as simple as having three apples and selling them to a passerby who wants three apples. That’s it. Instead we have mountains of regulations that prevent such time of sales from happening and forcing people to take lower paid jobs in order to compensate.

But now, the state, which has ultimately caused the problem, thinks they can magically solve it by just raising minimum wage. It is easy to see that anyone who argues for a “living” wage is ignorant of the actual economics behind it and instead wants to go down a path that time and time again has proven to not fix the problem of poverty, going to the state. In short, a living wage is no wage for most people and people who supported it will ultimately blame corporate greed for the increase in unemployment.

The real way to solve the problem is to look where in the government editor@binghamtonreview.com

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Enemies List

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Enemies List Written By Our Staff

Condemned

Students for Change

I think our last issue made it clear what our opinion of SfC is, so I’ll save the space. Let’s be glad that attention shifted away from them and they realized that acting up like a bunch of babies wouldn’t make everybody cave and give them what they want.

Hillary Clinton

We have plenty of time between now and November 2016 to attack Hill. For now, just take another look at our centerfold. Also, look forward to next year’s series of comics about our favorite statist candidate.

VPMA

Unfortunately, this year’s runoff election extravaganza ended with the continued existence of this unnecessary position. Next year, let’s start a write-in campaign for our personal favorite candidate “Abolish Position.”

Marco Rubio & Chris Christie

Coming out as anti-marijuana in 2015 when the majority of Americans support its legalization is an easy way to become the enemy of many, many people!

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Housing/Res-Life

We all remember what you did this last Fall and, while the upperclassmen might not care, next year’s sophomore’s will not take this kind of nonsense again.

ON NOTICE Ruslan Klafehn

Not only does your election get you a nice title to throw on your resume, it also gets you a large target on your back from us! We will be heavily scrutinizing your actions, so good luck. But… you did pull off an impressive write-in campaign to prevent an entitled, rule-breaking SfC from holding this position. So for now, an enemy of an enemy gets a pass.

Harvey Stenger

Harvey was doing such a great job handling SfC like a boss before he softened his stance and caved. Why, Harvey why?

Stand strong Harvey… come on.

Mother Nature

Some days we hate you, some days we don’t. But after this brutal winter, and the fact that you brought us snow in April, I think it’s best that we just stay friends. I’m sorry, I really am.

It’s not me Mother Nature, it’s you.

We’ve got our eyes on you

The Student Association

You house the VPMA, and have made scheduling an event an unnecessarily complex and tedious task. And, responses to emails every once in a while would be nice. But since you kept our funding level, here’s to a better and hopefully more efficient next year.

Local Police

It’s pretty intrusive and disruptive for you to frolic around giving out citations for substances of minimal harm to students both on and off campus. But relative to some of your peers around the nation, you’re not so bad so far.

If citing students for drugs and alcohol preoccupies you from killing civilians, by all means, you shut down those parties.

May 2015

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Farewell Binghamton

FAREWELL BINGHAMTON

Written By Daniel Milyavsky Oh, it hurts to write that headline. I’m graduating in less than a month, and so now it’s time to put my reflections to pen and paper, or rather to keyboard and screen.

I don’t have anything particularly groundbreaking or life-changing to say – I don’t think true wisdom really works that well – and my three and a half years at Binghamton have been filled with way too many experiences and emotions to neatly summarize in an article. But I’ll do what I can.

Those who of you know me know that I’m relentlessly honest and cynical, so this statement should be all the more meaningful coming from my lips: Transferring here was one of the best decisions I have ever made in my life.

In the long run, I’m sure that my decision to switch from accounting to pre-med will prove more consequential, and I do think that Dr. Milyavsky has a nice ring to it. But in terms of decisions I’ve made that have actually affected my life thus far, this is the bee’s knees (I’m from

Did I mention how I got to meet Dr. Rand Paul editor@binghamtonreview.com

New York City. I have no idea why I think its okay to use that expression.)

The thing I’ll miss most about college is the incredible friendships I’ve made here. In alphabetical order, I give Jack, Luke, and Samson all a special mention. I’ll save my emotional farewells and recollections of wild times for real life, but if I make friendships in medical school that are even half as fun, honest, loyal, and insightful, I’ll be pretty happy. We’re in college, so the vast majority of us haven’t started families yet, and most of us are also, the vagaries of the hook up culture notwithstanding, more or less single, so friends are really what makes life worth living. Thanks to friendship, many experiences that are mundane are otherwise rendered amusing and tolerable.

Humans in general, and those of us in the first half of our lives in particular, are a moody bunch, and like everyone else I have happy days and sad days, exciting experiences and lethargic ones. Like basically any other student, sometimes I’ve enjoyed being here, and sometimes it seemed like a drag. I’m tired of speaking in generalities though, and since I’m a page in and most of you have probably stopped reading anyway, I might as well get down to the specifics of what I liked and disliked here.

I’m incredibly grateful for the existence of the College Libertarians and the Binghamton Review. Although the debates aren’t as intellectual or angry as they were when I first got here (I use those two words in an equally positive sense), it still beats the hell out of the stale

and tepid meetings of the other political groups on campus (no offense College Republicans. I like you guys and stuff, but you’re just not as good!). I got probably more than half of my closest friends through that club, and it’s just a great vehicle for entertaining and rowdy political discussion, even if its actual influence on the overall campus is just a rounding error away from zero.

As for the Review, writing about politics and the world, and shitting on other people in a hilarious way, is one of my greatest pleasures, and it’s awesome that there’s a publication here that let me do that. Thanks to how stupid liberals are, I never really lacked for Press Watch material. I’m super proud of the Halloween 2013 issue I put out.

Getting to go to Texas three times for the Collegiate Network conferences was swell. I will admit that it was disheartening when it dawned on me that the average Binghamton student either doesn’t quite know what the Review is, or is too intellectually shallow and vapid to care about politics or journalism, but I can’t control that, and the decline in intellectual curiosity is probably a nationwide phenomenon.

“Writing about politics and the world, and shitting on other people in a hilarious way, is one of my greatest pleasures, and it’s awesome that there’s a publication here that let me do that.”

The complimentary emails I received for my work were nice, for at Binghamtonreview.com

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least 30 seconds. Oh, and getting to have our own office is ill. We’re the funniest publication on campus, and the only one to offer an alternative to mainstream campus liberalism, and I’m happy I got to lead it officially for a year and a half, and in a broader sense for three years.

If I never went to Bing, I don’t know what kind of a shape the Review would be in, but it would be a worse one. We’re always pretty lightly staffed, but thankfully we’ve been lucky enough to have the right people present at the right time.

We’re the only SUNY with a conservative or libertarian publication, so there’s another reason I’m happy to have gone, and you should be happy you’re going to, Bing. Sean, Jordan, and Billy: you guys have been doing a great job since I’ve stepped down as Editor-in-Chief, and I hope you continue the good work for years to come.

And now for the fun part: some shit I didn’t like here. First off, State Street sucks. If you personally like the bars, hurray for you, but in my entire time here, they have sucked, currently do suck, and give every indication of continuing to suck. I hate the moronic music they play, so that’s definitely a part of it (I remember how excited I was the one time Tom and Marty’s played a Red Hot Chili Peppers song), but I also think that an overly crowded and loud bar is just a horrible way

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The nice picture of Binghamton to meet people, and I’ve probably spent a majority of my bars night in some crevice with three or four of my friends.

Alright fine, on the off chance that you manage to hook up with someone you’re actually attracted to (it has been known to happen occasionally), then the night is okay, but even then it’s just okay, since I think if most people (not everyone, though) were honest with themselves, they’d admit that they’d prefer something at least a little bit more affectionate and romantic than bringing someone home from a bar. Invariably, the most enjoyable part of almost every weekend night is the pregame with my actual friends. Sexual escapades do make for entertaining stories, but I think for most people it serves as more of a thirst quencher and less as some-

thing that delivers actual happiness. I don’t want to paint all skirt chasing experiences with too broad of a brush, and they are often fun at the time, but my verdict stands.

I initially wrote in the first paragraph of this article how in recent years I’ve been the preeminent conservative/libertarian voice here at Binghamton. I’m not sure if this makes me sound more like an arrogant shithead or less of one, but I only even started thinking of myself that way after my friends told me as much. It’s a little ironic, because just last semester I wrote an article about how I’ve mellowed out over the years, but with the whole Students for Change thing and my unexpectedly spectacularly popular Pipe Dream article in response to it, my political profile here is higher than it’s ever been.

It’s cool and all, but I do of course recognize that this is all a tempest in a teapot. It’s not even that people outside of Bing don’t care about the political controversies here – it’s that most people who go here don’t even care! But still, it’s nice that I’ve been able to make my views here known without really suffering any social repercussions. That wasn’t really the case back in high

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school and back in Hunter College, and that’s definitely not the case at many other college campuses across America.

So, how do I actually feel about graduating? Well, I suppose with the typical ambivalence that many people feel. I’ve had a nice time here, and I will miss it. But I am ready to leave on the other hand, ready to become an adult, because let’s face it, we’re still children, and I’m saying this at the ripe old age of 23, which is older than almost all of the undergrads here. I’m on the high priority waiting list at one medical school, and on the regular waiting list at another, so that’s probably what I’ll be doing for the next four years of my life.

It’s going to be a transition –not just in terms of the fact that I’ll have to study harder than I’ve ever had to study in undergrad, but also in the sense that I’ll have to shift my objectives in life from basically just enjoying myself and satisfying my own intellectual curiosity to a more single minded purpose – becoming a physician. It’s one of the most honorable professions out there, and it’ll be nice to actually be able to heal people rather than just argue about political stuff that I’m powerless to change, so it’s certainly a goal worth pursuing. And hey, it’s better than law school, right?

FAREWELL BINGHAMTON

sional and don’t know what they’re talking about. I know it can be very difficult, as I myself have flipped many times between varying career paths, but don’t just graduate with a poli sci major and hope that it’ll all work out somehow.

I’ll leave off with a quotation (from myself, of course). The second article I ever wrote for the Binghamton Review was a recap of my first semester here, as a transfer student. It was much funner to write than this article, which just judging from the word count, is a bit on the self-indulgent side. It’s from the May 2012 issue, and if you ever want to read it, it’s in our online archives.

Anyway, here’s the quote:

“My entire life, I have always thought school spirit was moronic and had a visceral reaction in opposition to it, but here at Bing,

I’ve somehow dropped that attitude, and I’m actually developed a bit of school spirit myself. This is really the first time in my life that I’m proud to be a student at the school I’m in. The education that I have received so far is absolutely first-rate, with the professors being knowledgeable and competent. Most of the students I encounter are friendly, intelligent, and intellectually curious.

Back at my old college, I felt like I was going to night school; or going to school part time. I would just go in, go to class, and leave.

It’s much difference here. I have something new to do every day.

There are so many opportunities here for students to make something of themselves, and of their mind.”

I’m ready to leave you, Bing, but I’ll sure miss you.

As for my advice to those of you still here: Appreciate it. It may feel sometimes like you’ll be here for the rest of your life, but you really won’t be. Try to leave your comfort zone sometimes, and develop meaningful relationships. Oh, and this is important: Take the time to think in a serious way about your plans for your career after college.

Talk to adults about it, since most of the time, your peers are delueditor@binghamtonreview.com

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