BINGHAMTON REVIEW Founded 1987 • NOVEMBER 2015
P.O. BOX 6000 BINGHAMTON, NY 13902-6000
EDITOR@BINGHAMTONREVIEW.COM
Contents
Editor-in-Chief Sean M. Glendon
Managing Editor Jordan Raitses
Copydesk Chief Thomas Casey
New Media Manager Haim Engleman
Treasurer
What Bernie Supporters Don’t Want to Hear PAGE 8
6
Yuval Hananya
Assistant Editor Antonia Mallozzi Contributors
7 9
Alex Carros Howard Hecht Patrick McAuliffe
10 11
Patriarchs of the Review
12
Louis Leonini Adam Shamah
Special Thanks To:
Intercollegiate Studies Institute Collegiate Network Binghamton Review was printed by Gary Marsden We Provide the Truth, he Provides the Staples
14 15
by Samson Audino I’m Oblivious and I Support this Message by Thomas Casey Shit Buzzfeed Says by Howard Hecht My Awkward Sodexual Encounters by Patrick McAuliffe Life After College by Daniel Milyavsky Promise of the Ryan Speakership by Haim Engelman Gambling for Millenials by Sean Glendon Could “Society” Please Stand Up? by Patrick McAuliffe Cultural Authoritarianism by Alex Carros
Departments 3
EDITORIAL
4
CAMPUS PRESSWATCH
5
WHAT YOU MISSED
TELL US WHAT YOU THINK! Direct letter to editor@binghamtonreview.com 2
BINGHAMTON REVIEW
November 2015
EDITORIAL
From the Editor
Dear Readers, Another month gone by, another month closer to the real world, another issue of Binghamton Review. Already this year, we’ve had some new contributors that have been a great addition to the Review. We’re always looking for new members, whether it be writing, editing or something else, but I’d like to give a huge thank you to the staff that contributed to this issue. This goes beyond writers - the issue wouldn’t exist without the editing and administrative tasks that occur behind the scenes. This month has been an interesting month for Binghamton Review staff. I went undercover to learn more about daily fantasy sports, and may or may not have developed a gambling addiction. After a first successful outing in DraftKings, I was successful again in my second attempt. Still positive, but slightly, daily fantasy sports are actually way more entertaining their terrible commercials make them out to be. Elsewhere, Patrick began his awkward encounters with Sodexo in C4 and questions what exactly society is. Former President of College Libertarians Samson has a message for Bernie Sanders supporters and says they fall far short of revolutionary. Howard is struggling to maintain his sanity as he continues to combat Buzzfeed by reading their content and critiquing the organization. Former Editor-in-Chief Dan has some advice about life after Binghamton and his medical school adventures. Copy Desk Chief Tom watched Can’t Stump the Trump Volume 4 and questions whether it’s satirical or supportive, and whether that distinction matters. Haim takes a look at the end of the Boehner era in the House, and Alex ponders civil discourse. In Binghamton University news, Harvey
Stenger revealed a new logo for the school: a single B. Doing so will help create a unified brand for the University. Along with the new logo, there will be “a stronger focus on the guidelines that address the use of the University’s logos, colors, fonts and seal.” Stenger continued to say that regarding abbreviations, “it goes to the acronym of BU or SU, but that doesn’t work well for us or for many others. Brown University just goes by Brown, not BU. So, the nickname as initials isn’t really that common. Think Cornell, Pitt. If someone asked me, ‘What’s your nickname?’ I’d say Binghamton.” This is definitely the right move for the school, but a lot of what I was reading in the article “Branding Binghamton University” from binghamton.edu seemed eerily familiar… almost like it was responding to something. Our September cover did criticize the BU Brand, after all. Plus, I did write an article bashing the BU branding that was promoted by many, and that article did mention Brown, and the University guidelines. I’m not saying that Binghamton Review caused the change, but I’m not saying that Binghamton Review didn’t cause the change. An Editor-in-Chief can dream, can’t he? Regardless, the new logo makes sense from a branding perspective and shows that Harvey Stenger has the forward-thinking, goal-oriented leadership that Binghamton University needs to continue to propel itself to greatness. The status quo is dangerous, and both Harvey and the staff of Binghamton Review know this. Sincerely,
Sean Glendon
Our Mission
Binghamton Review is a non-partisan, student-run periodical of conservative thought at Binghamton University. A true liberal arts education expands a student’s horizons and opens one’s mind to a vast array of divergent perspectives. In that spirit, we seek to promote the free exchange of ideas and offer an alternative viewpoint not normally found on our predominately liberal campus. It is our duty to expose the warped ideology of political correctness that dominates this university. We stand against tyranny in all its forms, both on campus and beyond. We believe in the principles set forth in this country’s Declaration of Independence and seek to preserve the fundamental tenets of Western civilization. Finally, we understand that a moral order is a necessary component of any civilized society. We strive to inform, engage, and perhaps even amuse our readers in carrying out this mission.
editor@binghamtonreview.com
Binghamtonreview.com
3
CPampus resswatch “Editorial: Bing to the Future” Pipe Dream The Editorial Board - October 20, 2015 “No, you know what? We’ll have won an NCAA championship by that time, too. That’s right, the Binghamton Bearcats will capture a national title. There, we said it. Maybe we’ll beat Duke, or our local rival Syracuse. Keep this issue of Pipe Dream somewhere safe, because we’re making that call now. We’re dreaming big, because in 30 years, anything can happen.” We will not be winning an NCAA championship title in the next 30 years. Since 1939, only 30 different schools have won the tournament. The way the system works, teams with illustrious histories that pay their coaches millions of dollars win the tournament. Think Kentucky, Louisville and UNC Chapel Hill. In the past 20 years, Maryland, Syracuse, UConn and Florida were the only schools to win their first NCAA tournament - the rest were repeat winners. Right now, we can’t even qualify for the tournament. Technically, it’s possible… I guess. But here at Binghamton Review, we like to be realistic, so we’ll make a more realistic prediction. By 2045, the Binghamton Bearcats will make their way into the sweet sixteen. There, we said it. Keep this issue of Binghamton Review somewhere safe, because we’re making that call. “While planning this year’s Halloween costume, don’t forget to be yourself ” Pipe Dream Kristen DiPietra - October 16, 2015 “These romanticized autumnal activities all lead up to one of the most extolled holiday of the year: 4
BINGHAMTON REVIEW
Halloween. It’s the only holiday that doesn’t revolve around politics, family or religion, and it’s the only holiday in which vomiting is acceptable for both kids and adults.” What about New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day? New Year’s Eve is about getting absolutely shithammered and watching a ball drop. It has nothing do with politics or religion, and I guess you send your family a text, maybe, when the ball drops but the holiday doesn’t revolve around family. It’s hard to argue that vomiting isn’t acceptable on New Year’s Eve, because then there’s New Year’s Day, which is essentially national hangover day. Everyone is almost encouraged to throw up. Hell, it’s even federally observed, which gives it an edge over Halloween. “Letter to the Editor” Pipe Dream Harry Katz ’74 - October 23, 2015 “Even a core value of anthropology — humanistic relativism — that I would have thought would have stood the test of time seems to have no place in this society. Managing a residential facility for the mentally disabled, for example, I have come to realize that it does not seem that this value has any relevance any more, as state regulators site structure, quantifi-
BINGHAMTONREVIEW.COM
Written by our Staff cation and compliance over compassion and a caring, needs-driven approach to residential care. The state bureaucracy is more powerful now, under a “liberal Democrat” than it was under Rockefeller’s era.” That’s because liberal Democrats are the ones who favor regulation and intrusive government, so that makes perfect sense. The government has overreached in nearly every aspect of life, and as a result, qualified members of society have to spend more of their time dealing with regulations and compliance than actually being productive. “Millennials not interested in ‘do-nothing’ politics” Pipe Dream Melanie Sharif - October 23, 2015 “In the 2012 presidential election, the younger age brackets made up only 36 percent of the electorate, while the upper age brackets, 40-65-and-up, made up 64 percent. This is of course disproportionate to American demographics: According to the Census Bureau, Millennials recently eclipsed the Baby Boomers as the largest demographic in the U.S.” Millennials may be larger than the Baby Boomers, but the majority of Millennials aren’t eligible to vote. Five year olds are Millennials, but they obviously can’t vote. Voting Millennials of age make up somewhere around 17% and 26% of the population. About half of Millennials voted in the 2012 election, which is by no means low voter turnout. Also, the youth share of the electorate actually increased from 18% to 19%. Overall, your numbers really paint a skewed picture about their youth and political involvement. November 2015
BINGHAMTONREVIEW.COM
WHAT YOU MISSED A new poll revealed that 77% of Americans are in favor of eliminating mandatory minimum sentences for nonviolent drug offenders.
The Westboro Baptist Church boycotted controversial County Clerk Kim Davis for having multiple marriages.
After Turing Pharmaceuticals increased the price of Daraprim by 5000%, to $750 a pill, Imprimis Pharmaceuticals responded by releasing a very similar medication for around a dollar a pill. Competition working wonders!
A study by Google Consumer Survey found that 62% of Americans have under $1,000 in their savings account, and 21% of Americans do not have a savings account.
Manoj Bhargava, creator of 5-hour Energy, is focusing his fortune on solving the energy crisis. Bhargava plans on distributing 10,000 Free Electric battery-equipped bikes across India next year to power homes worldwide. The United States bombed a Doctors Without Borders hospital. The death toll is currently at 30 from this, including 10 patients, 13 staff members, and 7 unidentified bodies. A bid by Anheuser-Busch InBev to acquire SABMiller was approved in principle. The bid was for $106 billion and the merged company would account for ⅓ of all global beer sales and half of the global profit. The merger must pass approval by regulatory agencies involving antitrust issues, but as college students, the beer industry is an important one to follow! Alaska officially renamed Columbus Day “Indigenous Peoples’ Day,” joining in a movement against Christopher Columbus for his treatment towards indigenous people and his character. The IRS will recognize same-sex marriage throughout the United States, even in states where it isn’t currently legal. editor@binghamtonreview.com
Author Lemony Snicket, known for the popular series A Series of Unfortunate Events, donated $1 million to Planned Parenthood. His wife believed that the organization had gone through “a series of unfortunate events” this year. The scarce Democratic Party field has narrowed down even more. Former Virginia Senator Jim Webb and former Governor Lincoln Chafee have suspended their campaigns. Along with Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders, former Maryland Governor Martin O’Malley is in a strong third place. However, political activist and Harvard Law Professor Larry Lessig has started polling high enough to become eligible for the next Democratic Debate. Canadian rapper Drake released the music video for “Hotline Bling,” which featured dancing and spawned lots and lots of memes. According to the FBI’s National Instant Background Check System, gun sales hit a record high for a fifth month in a row. In September, 1,795,102 prospective gun owners were processed. Flip Saunders, esteemed basketball coach, lost a battle to Hodgkin’s lymphoma. The Minnesota Timberwolves coach passed away at the age of 60.
Two-time NBA Champion and current Kardashian associate Lamar Odom was hospitalized after being found unconscious in a brothel in Nevada. After being on life support and in a coma, he regained consciousness and is on a path to recovery. According to a Dutch court, Scientology is a profit-oriented organization. As a result, the status of “public welfare institution” was eliminated, and so was the tax-exempt status that comes with it. The FCC voted to cap inmate-calling prices in prison at 11 cents per minute. Before the vote, rates were as high as $14 per minute in some instances. Some inmate-calling companies, including Global Tel*Link and Securus Technologies plan on taking the FCC to court over their decision. Playboy announced that it will no longer publish photographs of nude women as of their March 2016 issue. According to CEO Scott Flanders, there isn’t a way to compete when “you’re now one click away from every sex act imaginable for free. And so it’s just passé at this juncture.” Photographs will now be rated inappropriate for children under 13. According to a survey of Britsh persons, around one third of vegetarians admit to consuming meat when drunk, at an average of $7.40 per meal of drunken meaty goodness. Darrell Whitman, a former investigator for the OSHA Whistleblower Protection Program, was terminated for reporting illegal activity and safety concerns about his agency. Oh, the irony! Binghamtonreview.com
5
I SUPPORT THIS MESSAGE
BINGHAMTONREVIEW.COM
I’m Oblivious and I Support this Message Written By Thomas Casey
‘Y
ou Can’t Stump the Trump Volume 4’ won’t reach the campaign advertising Hall of Fame. Daisy, 3 O’clock Call, and Willie Horton will never have the seven minute YouTube video amongst their ranks. Yet, the absurd, thinly veiled propaganda piece sets an interesting precedent for the future of offbeat Internet advertising. ‘Can’t Stump’ reached thousands of eyeballs, including those of its subject matter. Mr. Trump saw enough promise to tweet out the video’s URL to his millions of followers. On a superficial level, ‘Can’t Stump’ seems frivolous. However, an insidious undertone makes the pseudo-parody montage a fearful gateway. The establishment’s relationship with the Internet is prodigious and flawed. The first major attempt I witnessed of an organization leveraging Internet vibes for consumer connection occurred during the 2015 Super Bowl. Coca-Cola hedged 6 million dollars on an advertisement hoping to connect spunky cyberspace with its fizzy product. Coke failed. The 60 second spot, titled #MakeItHappy, opens with a series of cuts that demonstrate the dark side of the Internet. Rampant name calling and virulent net users bombard the information superhighway. The ad pulls away towards an enormous server room. A clumsy NSA employee spills Coke on DARPA’s Internet Mainframe. The bottle’s sheer willpower and 65 grams of sugar per serving transform the web into a cordial, carbonated wonderland. The camera spotlights the lives of Janes and Johns in the real world as they interact with a happier Internet. In one particularly poignant moment, an inspirational message pops onto
6
BINGHAMTON REVIEW
a bus stop shelter. A woman sitting nearby smiles. The viewers gag. Coke’s use of populist Internet culture was fairly transparent. We all knew it was an advertisement when it started. We all shrugged it off as poorly implemented Millennial targeting when it ended. ‘You Can’t Stump the Trump Volume 4’ lurks in a shadowy sphere of Internet based marketing. YouTube user Can’t Stump the Trump made her eponymous web-series in summer and autumn of this campaign cycle. Her fourth entry garnered major notoriety when Mr. Donald Trump himself retweeted the video. Mr. Trump tagged the likes of Drudge Report and Breitbart News. The video surprisingly follows the same formula as #MakeItHappy, to wildly different results. The montage opens with Mr. Trump in the second Republican primary debate. A narrator with a voice from a text-to-speech program informers the viewer of Mr. Trump’s rivals’ quests to stump the Republican frontrunner. Mr. Trump stumps his first challenger, Rand Paul, with a disparaging remark about Mr. Paul’s appearance. He proceeds to annihilate Megyn Kelly and Jeb Bush with an incredibly stumping. The video creator uses numerous filters and sound effects to distort the footage. The video culminates with Mr. Trump at a No Labels, a centrist political group, town hall. A young woman challenges Mr. Trump with the question “If you are president, will I be paid the same as a man?” The text-to-speech narrator laments Mr. Trump’s inevitable stumping at the hands of the woman. Mr. Trump miraculously avoids the stumping by responding, “If you do as good a job!” The video celebrates Mr. Trump’s victory.
The seven minutes of absurdity seem harmless initially. The creator simply lampooned an interesting national event. She used Call of Duty, Team Fortress 2, air horns, text-to-speech, and the Illuminati to generate laughs. A deeper investigation is more unsettling. Just as Coke used Internet comment sections and macro images to sell viewers soda, ‘Can’t Stump’ uses Internet tropes to sell viewers a more devious product, Donald Trump. One of the top replies to Mr. Trump’s tweet nails the sentiment. “This isn’t a parody. It’s a tribute.” Of the nearly 6,000 retweets and 300,000 views, how many were un-ironic? Of course, there are no disclaimers, no “Paid for by Donald Trump for President.” But, ‘Can’t Stump’ is most definitely a homegrown campaign material, a fan-made homage to Mr. Trump. On a first viewing, the propaganda is unnoticeable. The ridiculousness of the rapid pacing and unconnected imagery overshadows any political endorsement. A second viewing shows that Mr. Trump himself is never the target. There is not one ounce of sarcasm within the jokes. ‘Can’t Stump’ celebrates Mr. Trump for its entire duration. Be careful about what you share online. Political, corporate, or otherwise, online creations can have ulterior motives. Understand that videos like ‘You Can’t Stump the Trump’ exist for purposes beyond satire. With the understanding of its insidious nature, you can finally watch ‘Can’t Stump’ the way people have always viewed online content, with a sarcastic, skeptical, postmodern, yet humorous frame of mind. To see the video, search ‘You Can’t Stump the Trump Volume 4’ and select the first result. November 2015
BINGHAMTONREVIEW.COM
A ZUCKERBERGIAN TRAGEDY
Shit Buzzfeed Says–Act II: A Zuckerbergian Tragedy Written By Howard Hecht T ry as I may to escape the clutches of BuzzFeed’s tyrannical grasp on first world media, I, unfortunately, cannot. As – to put it in terms BuzzFeed would understand – “a 90s kid xD,” I am within an age range of people who are likely to possess a Facebook account, and on occasion I do in fact scroll through my newsfeed. I have gone out of my way to block as many links to BuzzFeed as possible with the options Facebook has given me, but sadly, when the girl I sat next to in 7th grade Biology shares “Ten Reasons Howard Hecht Won’t Care About This,” I am unwittingly exposed. Unconscious agents of Satan like her are always lurking within my friends list. With every sequential BuzzFeed post I view, I am convinced the experience can be equated to losing a part of my soul. Once again, I am thrust into checking my hateful presumptions of social media. I will plumb the depths of human despair and chaos to fully explore yet another facet of BuzzFeed’s sphere of influence: its Facebook account. After all, how will I know what I don’t like, unless I immerse myself in it prior to judgment? My first impression of www. facebook.com/BuzzFeed was that, incredibly enough, it has over five million likes – fifteen of which come from my own friends list! By clicking on BuzzFeed’s “About” tab, I was brought to a section with some information on the page itself, such as a “Short Description” that is simply: “Worth sharing,” and a “Long Description,” which states: “BuzzFeed is building the defining news and entertainment company for the social mobile age. From the serious to the fun, from long-form to the short listieditor@binghamtonreview.com
cles readers have grown to love, we create content that people want to share on the web.” Well, BuzzFeed, I’ll give it to you – one was short and the other definitely was long. But after reading that BuzzFeed itself has admitted to “defining” what we expect of news and entertainment through social media, I decided to see what kind of “listicles” and other fun content it pushes out through the page. At first glance, BuzzFeed on Facebook is basically the same thing as BuzzFeed.com, with links to articles such as “These Five Sisters Found An Adorable Way To Thank Their Parents For Paying For All Of Their Weddings,” and “This Dad Had The Best Response When His Son Said He Wanted To Go As Elsa From ‘Frozen’ For Halloween.” What interested me more than BuzzFeed’s “news” articles were its use of Facebook specific features, such as “Milestones,” under the “About” tab. These “Milestones” included important events in BuzzFeed history, such as “Made it to Friday,” “Correctly Spelled ‘Necessarily’ On The First Try,” and “WTF IT’S ALREADY THE MIDDLE OF OCTOBER?!”. Interestingly enough, I was also able to view the pages that BuzzFeed itself likes, and me oh my, the things I’ve seen. As it so happens, BuzzFeed doesn’t just have one Facebook page – in fact, it seems to have one for every individual category on its website. There are pages like “BuzzFeed Food,” “BuzzFeed Music,” “BuzzFeed Parents,” “BuzzFeed LGBT,” “BuzzFeed Politics,” and, perhaps the only one really worth looking at, “BuzzFeed BFF.” Now, not that I like to choose favorites, but BuzzFeed BFF puts the other pag-
es to shame. According to its description: “BFF makes originals for you and the rest of the internet. Brought to you by BuzzFeed.” As far as I can tell, I have finally hit a kind of pure, previously untapped essence: something BuzzFeed specifically makes that isn’t connected to its parent’s site. And of all the things they could have called it, they decided “BFF” would be best. Rather than try and explain what “BFF” is, I’ll let the following image speak for itself:
If this is truly the content BuzzFeed thinks will make them relatable, funny, and help them define social media, then I think I’ve made a rather obvious, but important, discovery. BuzzFeed’s intended audience, and most likely, their writers as well, are infantile adults, who apparently enjoy admitting to it because they clearly think it’s endearing in some way. If I were crying all the time, I don’t think I’d want to make a joke about it on Facebook. I’d probably want professional help. Which I’ll more than likely seek after looking at all of these BuzzFeed pages. P.S. I’m seeking fifteen new friends on Facebook to replace the ones I’ll be deleting. Auditions will be held in the coming months unless I decide life isn’t worth living before then. P.P.S. I’m deleting my Facebook. Nevermind. Binghamtonreview.com
7
WHAT BERNIE SUPPORTERS DON’T WANT TO HEAR
BINGHAMTONREVIEW.COM
What Bernie Supporters Don’t Want to Hear Written By Samson Audino
T
he first of the Democratic Presidential Primary Debates took place and according to college students nationwide and Huffington Post, Bernie Sanders came out victorious (or at least you would definitely think so if you were me, watching at a viewing party in a university lecture hall). He illustrated to the whole country exactly how he stands apart from Hillary Clinton and her corporate ties, and his supporters raved throughout the internet. Regardless of his actual views on the issues and how much I may poke fun, I actually respect Bernie Sanders for quite a few things. He’s not afraid to speak his mind openly, unconcerned about traditional political poise. This is exactly the basis behind his appeal, a similar one Ron Paul had among his supporters the last couple elections. Like Ron Paul’s massive following, Sanders’ presidential campaign will most likely fail for a variety of reasons, and the hype surrounding him is not reflective of concrete election results. In my view, Sanders’s supporters are unfortunately unprepared to face the music about what’s to come, by their own fault. Let’s get a few more technical reasons for why Bernie will have a difficult time winning the Democratic nomination. In a party that’s growing in popularity amongst minorities, Sanders’s support is predominantly white. Yes, Barack Obama was able to overtake Clinton in 2008 as an underdog, but he did so by building a wide coalition of ideological progressives, civil libertarians, minority rights activists, and conservative Democrats. Sanders’s base is largely white college students, and his outreach attempts focus on disenfranchised, working class whites. As Harry Enten from FiveThirtyEight analyzes, “The latest YouGov poll, for instance, has [Sanders] winning 34 percent of whites but just 13 percent of Hispanics and 8 percent of black voters in the Democratic primary. You can win Iowa and New Hampshire with those numbers, but not the nomination.” Maybe this recent debate will boost his popularity among minority voters, who are absolutely critical to his goal of winning the nomination. But even then it’s an uphill battle; the Democratic Party establishment will do everything in their power to prevent a Presidential ticket with his name on it. Sorry Berniemaniacs: whether he is right or wrong, the voters of the United States probably won’t elect a self-identified socialist, and unlike Sanders, the party has to be a little smoother in how they play politics. Hey, it’s not a Republican tossing around the term, he says it himself. The primary system as we know it was only introduced in the 1970s as a way to democratize the process, but the party still holds control of the nomination process when all’s said and done. Nominations are not decided by primary votes, but delegates who attend the national convention, primarily party officials. Just like how the Republican Party treated Ron Paul’s delegates at the 2012 Republican Na8
BINGHAMTON REVIEW
tional Convention, there’s nothing stopping the DNC from employing similar tactics. In this aspect, I view the Sanders supporters with the cynicism of knowing how partisan politics can turn on energetic and faithful activists, still hungover from the Ron Paul Revolution. Beyond these technical difficulties interrupting Sanders’ nomination, his supporters should probably take a look in the mirror and reflect on their own situations. While painting themselves as radicals fighting against corporate interests and the government establishment, the candidate they are getting behind isn’t much more left than the usual liberal Democrat politician. His rhetoric is unapologetic and he says what progressives want to hear, calling for a “political revolution” on national television. Interestingly, this debate revealed that other candidates such as Clinton and O’Malley weren’t too different from him, all boasting their progressive cred; thanks to Sanders’s presence, the whole debate stage was forced to shift left. Sure, there were some disagreements on gun control and foreign policy, but the candidates reveled in the same progressive worldview. With that, Sanders supporters respect the system too much to be true political revolutionaries. He and his supporters oppose financial involvement “destroying” democracy, but they fail to realize that money in politics is only effective with a pure democracy. A politician can receive money from as many special interest groups as they want, but their vote cannot be directly purchased. Only voters can be swayed by political advertisements. Only voters can give in to political theatre. Only voters can choose to become more concerned with scandals like hidden emails or eating dog in Indonesia over substantive issues. The inherent flaw in democracy is exposed, revealing that the political horserace relies more on marketing over providing the citizens truth and righteousness. Unlike Ron Paul supporters and the respective GOP, I suspect an overwhelming majority of Sanders supporters to vote for Clinton once she assumingly attains the nomination. By claiming to be political revolutionaries, they have devolved into the same rich-bashing, anti-Republican banter as their Democratic establishment counterparts. While they talk a big game, their anti-establishment threats are hollowed empty when the Democratic Party owns their votes. Sanders supporters are more worrisome over the possibility of a Republican president than the surveillance state and mass incarceration taking hold under a President Clinton. If Sanders supporters had more integrity and refused to support Clinton in a general election, maybe the Democratic Party would take the supporters more seriously in choosing a candidate they can get behind. Until then, the party will continue to disrespect them and move forward with their political game. November 2015
BINGHAMTONREVIEW.COM
AWKWARD SODEXUAL ENCOUNTERS
My Awkward Sodexual Encounters: The Beginning Written By Patrick McAuliffe
M
y ideology and lack of social skills often alienate me from the average person. In college, I found that I needed a way to communicate with my fellow man (and woman). Communication finally took shape in two of my favorite mediums: food and a pun. In the first few weeks of school, as I did often back then, I was having dinner with my roommates in C4, and the day’s dessert was chocolate cake. I know. A chocolate cake from Sodexo. Not exactly appealing. My roommate Jacob, however, was feeling adventurous and got it. As he took the first few bites, my other roommate and I were teasing him about how great an eating experience it was. I quipped that it could even be a “Sodexual” experience. And with that, this little series was born. The cool thing about food is that everyone needs it. Liberals, conservatives, rich, poor, black, white, green, everyone eats. Words personally don’t work for me. Instead, food will be the universal language I will use to communicate with you all. We can find common ground through food. But enough of the ideology. On to the good stuff: slamming Sodexo. Or not, for some things. My parents taught me to be grateful for what I have, and maybe my tastes are different than most of yours, but I think the food here is actually mediocre at the very least. They have salmon, for crying out loud! Last time I checked at Wegmans, that’s about $18 per pound. We’re talking one expensive fish, and we can get it here for $2.37 per quarter pound (ish). That’s not bad. What is bad, however, is what happens at the other end of the digestive system. I experienced a editor@binghamtonreview.com
rude acclimation to Binghamton and my poor toilet took the brunt of it. The food tastes fine enough, but a few hours later, I am confronted by something only Cards Against Humanity can accurately describe: “Fiery poops.” From the literal shitstorm that engulfed Yik Yak in the first month and a half of school, I can tell that I am not the only student with this affliction. Hang in there, everyone. But it won’t be just food I’d like to review. The overall cleanliness of a particular dining hall, as well as the staff service there, will fall under my umbrella of “Sodexual encounters.” I’ll start with one near to my heart (and my dorm), C4, aptly named because nobody remembers what all the Cs stand for. For those in the faraway kingdom of Hinman that haven’t had the chance to visit, C4 is shared by Newing and Dickinson in the red and blue corners, respectively. The tables are relatively clean aside from the occasional crumb or inconsiderate group of leftover trays. The options are many on your first few visits, but I’ve quickly grown tired of the monotony and having to wait in line to have something fatty and fried at the Grill. But hot damn, is it delicious. If you feel like waiting much longer for something a tad more organic, I highly recommend the Deli.
Cleanliness: Food: Service: Lines:
B B B C
Good, you’ve finally got your food and found your silverware
(they keep moving the containers on a whim); it’s time to check out. Most of the cashiers are just trying to make it through the day and won’t give you a second glance. There is one red-haired cashier, however, who is almost always at the top of his game, and I hope that the C4 patrons and newcomers look for him. His name is CJ, and he makes paying for food - which you’ll be violently reacquainted with later - quite fun. On one of my trips through his line, he remarked that my facial hair made me look like I was a supervillain-esque “man with a plan.” Another time in the first month, when I must have looked like a deer in the headlights, he advised me to stay away from risky behavior. What exactly, I’m not sure. Might have been drugs. I don’t remember.
Cashiers:
A
Overall:
B
(CJ, you’re the man!)
These are my general remarks about C4, although I imagine I could get into painstaking detail that would make the Binghamton Review lose readers faster than my bowels lose my Alfredo pasta. For my next installment, I think I’ll frequent the CIW dining hall. I’ve been there once already, and no beautiful girl will ever separate me from that Mac and Cheese. Would you guys like a signing-off line? That’d be cool, right? How about this: “Though I am not experienced in the ways of intimacy, this school has given me one thing: I’ve had the opportunity to share my awkward Sodexual encounters with the Binghamton community.” Binghamtonreview.com
9
LIFE AFTER COLLEGE
BINGHAMTONREVIEW.COM
Life After College Written By Daniel Milyavsky Our previous Editor In Chief, Daniel Milyavsky, graduated last year and has written about his post-undergraduate experiences so far. graduated from Bing this past May, and I was the editor of this lofty publication for a year and a half. I’m in medical school now, and I’d like to let my dear readers know what post-grad life is like. I’ve been living it for several months now, so obviously I’m an expert and what I write will mirror your experience exactly (I was going to put a disclaimer that what I write applies only to me, but I figured I’d write something sarcastic instead, since this is the Review, after all). I’ll start off with the things I miss. The main one is my closest friends. In college, I hung out with them almost every single day, and we had a ton of free time. Since Binghamton has 16,000+ students, I was able to be friends with people who I clicked extremely well with and shared my political views. I look back fondly on drinking beer on my or Samson’s porch, playing Call of Duty with Jack, or talking about how everything sucks with Luke. I obviously also miss being able to shit on Pipe Dream in Press Watch. I don’t really miss the party scene. Honestly, it’s kind of a relief to never have to go into an extremely crowded bar blasting music that I would never listen to on my own. I also don’t miss being surrounded by people I don’t know whenever I walk around campus. There are 132 people in my medical school class, and it’s actually nice that I can recognize most of the people at house parties. Although medical school is still school, it’s pretty cool that I’m finally learning things that I will put into use as a physician. We
I
10
BINGHAMTON REVIEW
cut out a cadaver’s heart the very first week of medical school, and a month later we were holding a person’s brain in our hands. The other day, my dad complained to me of pain in his lower left quadrant, and was asking me if it was his spleen. “No dad,” I explained, “your spleen is on your left mid axillary line, deep to the 9th, 10th, and 11th ribs. It’s higher up. You’re touching the part of your body around your descending colon.” God, I sound so boring! You don’t give a shit where your spleen is! I guess that’s what happens when you spend more time talking about school work than making fun of
I’m not going to pretend to be some kind of wise old sage, and I’m not going to give you some grand piece of advice to guide you, because I can’t do that, and I don’t really think anyone can. Bernie Sanders. Medical school is a lot of work, and I definitely had to adjust to a much greater workload than I had in undergrad, but I actually like the people here much more than I thought I would. My housemates are great, and life really isn’t too bad. I remember when I was Editor-in-Chief, I published an article that was also written by a former editor, but he was a lot more pessimistic than I am about graduating, since his career plans didn’t work out for a little bit, and he was very involved in undergrad. He’s fine now, and he’d probably write a very different article today. At the time, I thought when I graduated I’d also write a post-grad article, and here
I am. At least mine is less pessimistic. I’m not going to pretend to be some kind of wise old sage, and I’m not going to give you some grand piece of advice to guide you, because I can’t do that, and I don’t really think anyone can. I will say that a lot of what you do in college that’s unrelated to your future career isn’t as important as you think it is at the time. You’ll graduate, you’ll forget most of it pretty quickly, and you’ll start the next stage of your life. I remember when I was editor of the Review, I wondered why former editors didn’t try harder to get more involved with the Review. I get it now. Undergrad is a very unique thing, and once you move on, it’s pretty difficult to relate to it anymore. So cultivate your interests and friendships, and think seriously about what you want to spend the rest of your life doing. Get involved with the Review! Write a funny article satirizing some aspect of campus life. It’ll be good! November 2015
BINGHAMTONREVIEW.COM
PROMISE OF THE RYAN SPEAKERSHIP
The Promise of the Ryan Speakership Written By Haim Engelman
T
he Boehner speakership is ending. In its wake, there has been a tumultuous battle over the succession of the position. The original front runner, Kevin McCarthy stunned the Republican conference when he withdrew his name from the race. A major element of his reason for doing so was party disunity. Tea Party Republicans, with (at the time) the 40 member Freedom Caucus presented the largest challenge to McCarthy. It is possible that Rep. McCarthy realized that even if he did muster the votes required to attain the Speakership, his career as Speaker of the House would be even rockier and less productive than his predecessor’s. In the immediate aftermath of McCarthy’s dropout, a litany of names were thrown out for the position, Jason Chafetz, Trey Gowdy, and who I think would’ve been the most fun, Darrell Issa. It quickly became clear; unless some form of party unity arises, there can be no party leadership. The situation grew more hopeless and it began to seem as if members and pundits were throwing out names for contenders at random. As the desperaeditor@binghamtonreview.com
tion grew, the name that was being whispered all along was spoken about out loud; Paul Ryan, if anyone can do it, he is the one. Paul Ryan finally began to consider a speaker run. It was clear from the start that the potential speakership will hurt his chances for higher office in the future. Ultimately, that was not the deterrent for Rep. Ryan. In a statement he made addressing House Republicans, he asked for the support of all the major republican caucuses as well as the understanding that he would be on the road less than previous Speakers. He refused to trade his family time for fundraising. Soon after Rep. Ryan relayed his request for support and called for party unity before the Speaker vote, pundits and voices on the far right began to decry “Emperor Ryan” the “RINO” (Republican In Name Only.) This would be funny if it was not so sad. For many, discontent is a way of political life; to see improvement is to see a problem, because all those people want is to be pushing back. Once one of the promising, conservative “young guns” gets a shot at leadership, he is
out. To request party unity and to work with the conference to establish common goals is to many complete blasphemy, because some, unfortunately belong to the party of “No.” The Ryan Speakership will be very challenging. He is succeeding a Speaker who resigned in the middle of his term in office if for no other reason than the fact that it is nearly impossible to lead his disjointed conference, all too often at odds with itself. However, the Ryan Speakership also carries great promise. He is a truly thoughtful and principled individual who is dedicated to his country, his party, and his family. His early calls for party unity should be taken by members of the conference as an opportunity to unite, not a time to backstab one of your own (and truly one of your best.) So please, angry pundits and members of the Freedom Caucus, I know you read The Binghamton Review, I know you are seeing this. Give the Ryan Speakership a chance, and for goodness’ sake, think of the consequences- don’t mess this up. Binghamtonreview.com
11
GAMBLING FOR MILLENIALS
BINGHAMTONREVIEW.COM
Gambling for Millenials Written By Sean Glendon
I
f you haven’t heard of FanDuel and DraftKings, you’re lying. The number of commercials they air is ridiculous, and recently they’ve been making headlines for all the wrong reasons. While there were early forms, the creation of FanDuel in 2009 was the true beginning of the the trend known as daily fantasy sports. DraftKings was later founded in 2012, and the two combine to control 95% of the daily fantasy sports market. The rise of daily fantasy sports became a possibility with the rise of the internet, but the inspiration came in 2006, with the passage of the Unlawful Internet Gambling Enforcement Act. The UIGEA was passed to limit online payments related to bets and wagers. The term “game subject to chance” was included to limit online poker, but the act specifically does not include fantasy sports. Nigel Eccles realized that the UIGEA didn’t specify that a fantasy game had to last an entire sports season, and created FanDuel to allow people to participate in shorter term fantasy games. Since the creation of these services, there has been a constant increase in popularity with an all time high as the 2015 NFL Season began. This comes from strong marketing and huge investments from venture capitalists. As part of these strong venture capital investments, Major League Baseball became the first professional sports organization to invest in daily fantasy sports when they invested in DraftKings in 2013. Following the MLB deal, DraftKings entered into a deal with the National Hockey league on top of its seven team-level deals. FanDuel entered into a four-year deal with the National Basketball Association, in which equity was acquired by the NBA. 12
BINGHAMTON REVIEW
FanDuel investors included Comcast Ventures and NBC Sports. After their Series E funding round, FanDuel was valued at over $1 billion. On top of these, DraftKings entering into a 3 year, $250 million deal with ESPN that included integration with their programming and had a clause making them the only daily fantasy service that could be advertised on ESPN starting in 2016. DraftKings also entered a deal with Fox that involved fox acquiring $150 million in equity, in exchange for $250 million in advertising over the next 3 years. As the market for daily fantasy sports increased, the government began to question the industry. The government probe began in October as a result of a DraftKings employee winning $350,000 on FanDuel. The employee had access to data about what players were being chosen by DraftKings users and at what percentages, and used this information to create his winning FanDuel lineup. If an individual used information not available to the public to make transactions on the stock market, her actions would be illegal due insider trading laws. While there have been cases where the roles were reversed, in this particular instance DraftKings is where the majority of the fault lies as DraftKings does not have preventative measures in place to protect confidential information from its employees. As a result of this occurrence, there have been questions about the accessibility of information that employees have, and what protections exist to prevent employees from using this type of insider information if they have access to it. FanDuel and DraftKings released a joint statement regarding the issue, and DraftKings’ website includes a sec-
tion about its updated employee participation policy - DraftKings employees are not allowed to participate in public daily fantasy sports tournaments on any DFS site, and DraftKings will take swift action if an employee of another DFS site is caught using DraftKings with insider information. As an interesting side note, in December of 2013, a woman named Justine Sacco caused controversy when she tweeted “Going to Africa. Hope I don’t get AIDS. Just Kidding. I’m white!” and was fired by IAC before her flight landed after a hashtag about the tweet began trending after months of job searching Sacco became the Director of Communications for FanDuel. I was interested in the news surrounding daily fantasy sports, but didn’t know how relevant it would be. Sure, people see the commercials all the time, but does anybody partake in daily fantasy sports? Maybe not, but I figured that I had to do my due diligence if I wanted to cover the topic - I had to participate in daily fantasy sports. I had no idea what to expect, or which service I would choose, but I was a man on a mission. Upon mentioning my idea to a housemate, he said he had always wanted to participate in them, and this would give him a reason to. And with that, we were on our way. I went with DraftKings and he went with FanDuel. We set up our accounts, and got our credit cards
I am enrolled in another tournament, and will likely continue to participate in daily fantasy sports “for research.” November 2015
BINGHAMTONREVIEW.COM
out. Initially, I intended to deposit $10 to DraftKings, but $25 was somehow added to my account. I blame myself, as I typed $10 into the custom field, but didn’t click on it afterwards… I think. DraftKings’ promotion offered to match your first deposit, after your money filtered through the system enough. Another incentive offered by DraftKings was a free $3 entry to a tournament upon your first deposit. So with that, I entered the free tournament. It featured around 380,000 people, with the top 84,950 players profiting. The first place winner got $100,000, and including the $1,000,000 total guaranteed payout, DraftKings was set to profit over $100,000 for this one tournament. I also joined a $3 tournament against two other users. Considering how many tournaments of different scope and scale are held across a variety of sports, it’s no wonder that these companies are valued so highly. DraftKings has NFL, NBA, NHL, NASCAR, MMA, MLB, soccer, college sports, and even virtual sports (as in video games). I have experience playing season-long fantasy football, but I had no idea what to expect going into DraftKings. What would stop me from drafting the biggest names in football on my team? I quickly found out. DraftKings users must editor@binghamtonreview.com
GAMBLING FOR MILLENIALS
draft 9 players: a quarterback, two running backs, three wide receivers, a tight end, a defense, and a flex (which can be a runningback, wide receiver, or tight end). FanDuel differs here, as there is no flex - instead players choose a kicker. Players are given $50,000 to compose their teams. With established, well-known players setting you back $6,000, $7,000 or even $8,000, there is an extreme opportunity cost of choosing players in this category. Doing so means you have to take complete unknowns at other positions and find the “sleeper” as commercials say. For me, the sleeper was Ladarius Green. The backup tight end for the Chargers had the opportunity to step up with Antonio Gates out, and at only $2,900, he was a key player on my team with 4 receptions for 45 yards, a receiving touchdown and two twopoint conversions. On the other hand, at $7,800 Brandon Marshall really underwhelmed and set my team back. A really cool feature about DraftKings is it shows you what percent of leagues your players are in (once the games begin). My top performing player, Todd Gurley costed $5,000 and was drafted in 53.6% of leagues while my second best player, Mike Evans costed $6,400 but was only drafted in 3.9% of leagues. With the Monday
Night Game approaching I was out of the money but had my Quarterback Carson Palmer still ready to go. I had no chance of winning in the three person competition, but Carson Palmer projected me into 55,832nd place - earning me $6. My housemate was in a league where roughly 50% of users doubled their money, and he turned his $5 into $10. Two experiments on two different programs, and the two of us walked away as winners. Currently, I am enrolled in another tournament, and will likely continue to participate in daily fantasy sports “for research.” For a small amount of money, I was more focused on football than I usually am, and had a very slim chance of cashing out big time. The games meant something, and it led to increased excitement. Throughout the week, I was constantly checking my lineup and considering making changes. I had to find the sleeper pick. While there may be problems with employees or algorithms, calling for the regulation of the industry is a bit extreme. There must be more safeguards implemented by the companies, and the bad publicity regarding this scandal has already led to policy changes and internal reviews. DraftKings has engaged a legal team from Greenberg Traurig to optimize their controls and policies to minimize risk of cheating. As annoying as their commercials are, DraftKings and FanDuel found a legitimately legal way to engage sports fans while profiting majorly. There are talks of mergers involving these companies, and other talks of them going public. Despite a few hiccups, these companies should be given a chance to correct their wrongs before the government gets involved with strict regulations or worse, a complete outlawing of daily fantasy sports. Binghamtonreview.com
13
INDIVIDUALISM IN A PLURALIST WORLD
BINGHAMTONREVIEW.COM
Could Society Please Stand Up?
Individualism in a Pluralist World
Written By Patrick McAuliffe
T
he thing I’ve found college to be saturated with, and in fact all of the adult world, is “we as a society believe ____” or “society has still not moved beyond _____.” Statements like these always make me shake my head. It’s hilarious to me that people continue to group all of humanity in this detached, generic entity of “society.” Who or what is it? Can I get a list of people that embody or represent “society?” No? (Direct all future lists of society’s representatives to editor@ binghamtonreview.com). Let’s take some examples of those phrases in my first paragraph. “We as a society believe that gay marriage is acceptable and proper.” I certainly agree with that statement, but what about my deeply conservative father? Since he doesn’t agree that gay marriage is acceptable (or a form of marriage at all), is he not part of society? That can’t be right. I’ll try again. “Society as a whole has still not moved beyond a money-dominated, selfish mindset.” Well, now. I vehemently deny the negative connotations that this statement implies about selfishness, but most people that I know believe that true humanity is giving up one’s self-interest. Am I now ostracized from society? OK, fine. Third time’s the charm. “It is socially agreed upon that abortion
14
BINGHAMTON REVIEW
should be legal and is a right that women have regarding their own bodies.” This one is fragmented into many “social agreements”; some would say that all abortion is murder, some make exceptions for rape, some say that abortions within the first trimester are OK because at that point “it’s just a clump of cells,” and some people don’t give the fetus rights until it pops out of its mother. And the funny thing? The people in each group consider themselves to be right and an accurate representation of “society.” And through it all, I still don’t understand what “society” is. All of the issues I brought up in my social statements are issues that lots of people struggle over today. Hell, I’ll probably write about them later this year. My point is this: there is no such thing as “society.” Yes, it’s true. Read the first sentence of this paragraph. Notice how I didn’t say they are “issues that society continues to struggle over today,” yet you still understood my point about the vast quantity of people embroiled in civil rights debates in present-day America. Added to this is the fact that America is so incredibly diverse and pluralized that nobody can write down a simple list of “society’s” spokesmen and women (how are we doing with the list submissions,
Sean?) If “society” as an entity doesn’t exist, how do we explain all of the things that “it” believes? Well, “society” doesn’t believe anything. “Society” is a malleable entity used to further the cause of the most vocal group of people. I recently read a couple of articles for and against affirmative action. One of the main points for affirmative action is that it should continue to exist “because we as a society have not been able to overcome the issues of race” (Ogletree, “The Case for Affirmative Action, Stanford Magazine, 1996). I know that if I was in a position of admission or managing a business, I certainly would pay racial bias no heed. If you’re an asshole, you’re an asshole; if you’re well-spoken and show a desire to be productive, I would applaud and reward you. Damnit, I’ve just cut myself out of society. “Society” as an indivisible unit does not exist, nor has it ever. In a pluralist culture, there are many different groups that use the term to advocate that their beliefs should be enforced on everyone else. And within those groups, there are individuals. These are the indivisible entities. Their individual ideas are what they believe and they cannot speak for anyone else. The consensus of any group they join is merely an average. So all of you social justice people, Bernie fans, or anyone else that thinks we’re “one big human (or American) family” and all in this together, please stop speaking for me, and stop speaking for the individuals that can accomplish more than your collective brain any day. Please, be sure to get your lists on society in, if you can at all. I triple-dog-dare you. November 2015
BINGHAMTONREVIEW.COM
CULTURAL AUTHORITARIANISM
Cultural Authoritarianism:
The Liberal Left’s Betrayal of Free Speech
Written By Alex Carros
Liberals in the United States, particularly on college campuses, have betrayed the very ideology from which their name derives: classical liberalism. Censorship, authoritarianism, and an increasing hostility towards anyone with certain opinions or ideologies has replaced civil liberty, political freedom, and equality under the law. Universities, complacent in this treachery, have allowed a hostile takeover over what should be a guardian of free inquiry and thought. “Safe spaces” are more important than civil discourse, and liberals will decry any voice of dissent as racist/ sexist/homophobic. This phenomenon is cultural authoritarianism, wherein authority forbids ‘offensive’ or ‘oppressive’ ideas and forbids their expression. Take the rampant denouncing of ‘culturally offensive’ costumes, an increasingly common trope of Halloween. Discontented by any sort of fun, many progressive liberals have actively called for the barring of costumes with racial connotations, no matter how innocent: Native American braves, Mexicans with sombreros, geisha. Laci Green, a feminist personality from MTV, argues that it, “further normalizes White America’s tendency to disrespect and mock cultures that are different from our own.” Now, even though she has absolutely no evidence for this (get used to it with these types) she and her ilk posit that these costumes, no matter how innocent the intention, are actively racist and bigoted. One elementary school in Maplewood, New Jersey even banned its Halloween celebration due to a “lack of diversity.” So where does it end? What good does it do? How does policing Halloween costumes further editor@binghamtonreview.com
the cause for racial justice? Although Halloween is arguably the most infamous example, this form of authoritarianism (you are/aren’t allowed to do X) is rampant across the West, particularly on extreme-left college campuses. Jerry Seinfeld summed it up nicely, “They just want to use these words: ‘That’s racist;’ ‘That’s sexist;’ ‘That’s prejudiced,’… they don’t know what the hell they’re talking about.” College campuses in the West have, with increasing frequency, bought into this petulant whining. For example, feminist protestors have shut down conferences on male suicide simply because they didn’t like the speaker, most notably at the University of Toronto. Milo Yiannopoulus, a conservative writer for Breitbart, was even barred from a
How are we, as young adults, supposed to learn and grow from this unrestrained attack on civil discourse?
debate at his own alma mater. Even here at Binghamton, groups like the Students for Change were trigger-happy during their ‘forum’ with President Stenger, bombarding him with unfounded accusations of institutional racism and bigotry and refusing to let him adequately defend himself and the school he represents. How are we, as young adults, supposed to learn and grow from this unrestrained attack on civil discourse? We, as college academics, should be accepting adversity and challenges, not pushing them away simply because they are dis-
agreeable or offensive. This is why the notion of a ‘safe space’ is absolute nonsense. Disallowing certain words or ideas does nothing to prepare us for the real world. It actively hinders us. We are adults, not children who need to be coddled. The left’s obsession with ‘safety’ is misguided and juvenile. We are meant to explore and criticize different opinions. Any measure taken to hinder discourse counters the freedom of inquiry and speech. The next time you see something that you disagree with, don’t take the easy route and try to push that opinion out of your academic sphere. College is the best place to argue and debate whatever issues you are passionate about. Debate and civil discourse strengthen us and prepare us for the harsh world that awaits our post-graduate lives. I encourage all forms of conversation, even if that means railing against this article or the Binghamton Review. Take the time to read something you disagree with rather than simply push it out. Conservativism isn’t some evil, ancient conspiracy to keep humanity in the dark ages, but rather a different set of opinions and ideologies. This is the biggest obstacle that the Left needs to face. Allowing conservative voices in a college campus will not destroy liberalism, but will instead allow different points of view to be heard and argued, to all our benefit. Binghamtonreview.com
15