Mar 4 2020 (Vol. XXXII, Is. VIII) - Binghamton Review

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BINGHAMTON REVIEW Editor-in-Chief Contents

P.O. BOX 6000 BINGHAMTON, NY 13902-6000 EDITOR@BINGHAMTONREVIEW.COM

Founded 1987 • Volume XXXII, Issue VIII Tommy Gagliano

Managing Editor Brian Murray Copy Desk Chief Matt Gagliano

Business Manager Joe Badalamenti

Social Media Shitposters Lacey Kestecher, Sebastian Roman

Editor Emeritus

Patrick McAuliffe Jr.

Staff Writers

Bryn Lauer, Harold Rook, Joe Dorn, Kevin Vorrath, Madeline Perez, Jon Lizak, Dillon O’Toole

Contributors

Jacob Klieger, Harley Stinger

Special Thanks To:

Intercollegiate Studies Institute Collegiate Network

CRACKING OPEN A CASE OF CORONA

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by Harold Rook

3 Editorial by Tommy Gagliano 4 Press Watch by Our Staff 5 Six Things Worse Than a Baseball Stadium to by Our Staff Spend Money On 8 SA Election Endorsements by Our Staff 9 The Dangers of Mob Mentality by Joe Badalamenti 10 The Rise and Fall of Andrew Yang by Joe Badalamenti 11 In Defense of the Spiedie by Jacob Klieger 12 Mass Shootings Banned by Harley Stinger 13 Dangerous Daytona 500 Crash by Dillon O’Toole 14 Existence by Anju Anand

Binghamton Review was printed by Gary Marsden We Provide the Truth. He Provides the Staples

TELL US WHAT YOU THINK! Direct feedback to editor@binghamtonreview.com 2

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Vol. XXXII, Issue VIII


EDITORIAL Dear Readers,

From the Editor

W

elcome back to another issue of Binghamton Review. Whether you eagerly await the realease of every issue or you just happened to stumble upon our paper for the first time while eating lunch, I’m happy to have you as a reader. I came to two realizations today. The first is that no one reads these editorials. I kind of knew this already; the realization was more that the reason no one reads them is because they’re usually really fucking boring. That leads us to the second realization: I can write whatever the fuck I want here and no one can stop me. I don’t have to follow some formula and introduce each article if I don’t want to. Instead, I can ramble about nonsense. Now that I think about it, the editorial was probably added in the first place as an outlet for the editor to rant. It is currently 3 AM on the dot. I’m tired. I want to go to bed. Yet here I am, writing this for you, knowing full well that you’re not going to read it anyway. The editorial is always the last thing to get done. I hate it. But that all changes this week. No more introductory stuff. From now on, you will get whatever happens to be going on in my brain at whatever hour this ends up being written. Ok wait, I think I may have made a mistake. Following a formula is a lot easier of thinking of my own things to write here. It turns out that not a lot is going on in my brain at 3 AM on a Thursday night, other than “Damn it Tommy, just get this editorial done already so we can go to bed.” One thing I do want to point out about this issue is the inclusion of “Existence,” written by Anju Anand, which can be found on page 14. It’s a creative work, and is a bit out of place in the Review, but since Ellipsis has gone MIA, someone has to take over for them, right? Even though it is very different from what we normally do, I agreed to publish it, in the name of freedom of expression and being open to everyone. Right, well I’m going to wrap this up now so I can sleep. I think I may start writing my editorials in advance from now on, so I can make them decent. We’ll see. I hope you all enjoy this issue. I always love hearing feedback, which can be directed to editor@binghamtonreview.com. If you’re interested in joining the Review team, feel free to drop by during one of our meetings. They’re on Mondays at 8 PM, in Old Rafuse 115. Thanks for the support, and have a great day. Also, if you did read this, please send me an email and let me know. I’d love for my assumption to be proven wrong.

Sincerely,

Tommy Gagliano Binghamton Review is a non-partisan, student-run news magazine of conservative thought founded in 1987 at Binghamton University. A true liberal arts education expands a student’s horizons and opens one’s mind to a vast array of divergent perspectives. The mark of true maturity is being able to engage with these perspectives rationally while maintaining one’s own convictions. In that spirit, we seek to promote the free and open exchange of ideas and offer alternative viewpoints not normally found or accepted on our predominately liberal campus. We stand against tyranny in all of its forms, both on campus and beyond. We believe in the principles set forth in this country’s Declaration of Independence and seek to preserve the fundamental tenets of Western civilization. It is our duty to expose the warped ideology of political correctness and cultural authoritarianism that dominates this university. Finally, we understand that a moral order is a necessary component of any civilized society. We strive to inform, engage with, and perhaps even amuse our readers in carrying out this mission.

Views expressed by writers do not necessarily represent the views of the publication as a whole. editor@binghamtonreview.com

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CPampus resswatch “Capitalism limits one’s ability to choose where they live and work” Michael Levinstein, Pipe Dream, 2/20/20 “The professions included in this study arguably require the most work in our society, such as teachers, waitresses, nurses and construction workers. These are jobs that include people from all walks of life, and capitalism leaves them out in the cold.” The reason why the jobs listed earn less than others such as doctors and engineers is pretty simple. Construction workers and waiters have a profession that almost anyone can do. The supply of labor is very high for teachers, which correlates with a lower cost. Also, as someone who has worked in the restaurant industry for over 3 years, waiters/waitresses should not be included in any list of jobs that require the “most work in our society.” “If you’re working paycheck to paycheck and want better, capitalism says, ‘Too bad, you’re stuck,’ because if you leave, you risk living without insurance while between jobs.” I mean, quitting a job without having another one in place is just a bad idea in general. I think the fact that you will no longer have a source of income is probably a bigger issue than the loss of health insurance. You should always find a new job before leaving your current one. “For example, more than 41 percent of people who moved out of New York state in 2018 earned $150,000 or more. That statistic for those making under $50,000 was just 8.4 percent.” The reason higher income workers are moving out of New York State is because the tax rates in New York State (and specifically in the city and on Long Island) are becoming more of a burden to higher income workers than the value of living in New York State. The reasons for leaving New York State have a lot more to do with excessive government taxation than

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Written by our Staff

We know you don’t read the other campus publications, so we did it for you. Original pieces are in quotes, our responses are in bold.

capitalism running amok. “The U.S. government plays a powerful role in the spread of pseudoscience” Sam Pomichter, Pipe Dream, 2/24/20 “Currently half of all Republicans and over a third of all Democrats believe that the Earth is only 10,000 years old, which indicates that scientific skepticism is clearly not a partisan political ideology.” For a statement this bold, I’m gonna need a citation. If this is referring to the number of Judeo-Christian politicians who closely follow their respective religious texts, this is more an indication of religious commitment, not bipartisan scientific skepticism. “While most conservative lawmakers may believe in the scientific principles aligned with the theory of global warming, they fail to implement any laws advocating for environmental friendliness because of their alignment with GOP rhetoric. Party politics enable the spread of pseudoscience throughout society, even when those preaching pseudoscience fail to believe it.” Not implementing your preferred laws regarding environmentalism does not inherently mean that these conservative lawmakers engage in global warming denialism. Rather, if they believe in the scientific principles of global warming, then it is an indication that they believe that the solution to global warming isn’t through implementing laws. “Letter to the Editor: Statement from DIVEST BING” Divest Bing, Pipe Dream, 2/20/20 “BAE Systems also provides crucial military infrastructure, with one BAE Systems employee commenting, ‘If we weren’t [in Yemen], in seven to 14 days there wouldn’t be a jet in the sky.’” What does that even mean? What’s the context of this quote? Why would you include this quote if the reader has no way of knowing what it refers to?

“In order to recruit new engineers to design, construct and maintain these tools of oppression, BAE Systems and military contractors like them exploit poor engineering students and students of color anxious to find work after graduation.” Outside of being the best encapsulation of a leftist perspective of job recruitment, with all the buzzwords to boot (‘tools of oppression,’ ‘military contractors,’ ‘exploiting the poor and students of color’), there is absolutely no evidence to suggest that this is BAE Systems recruitment strategy. Also, are you saying that hiring people of color is a bad thing now? “The fact that the University allows these companies to recruit on our campus is disgraceful and unacceptable. As DIVEST BING, we stand against the University’s complicity in industries that profit from death and human misery. We stand in solidarity with the people around the world that these companies harm, and with the students these companies seek to exploit.” Obvious and shameless recruitment advert for DIVEST BING while condemning recruitment for a private company is obvious and shameless.

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SIX THINGS WORSE THAN A BASEBALL STADIUM TO SPEND MONEY ON

Six Things Worse Than a Baseball Stadium to Spend Money On By Our Staff

In early February, Binghamton University received an anonymous donation of $60 million to build a new baseball complex. The news was met with harsh criticism from students, as a number took to the r/BinghamtonUniversity subreddit and other social media platforms to share memes and voice their displeasure. Many pointed out that the money would be better spent elsewhere, such as improving mental health resources. The donation was given specifically for baseball, so this whole discussion is pointless, but there are much worse things that the money could have been spent on. Here are our top six. 6. More renovations to the Engineering Building The Engineering Building has been undergoing renovations since the dawn of time. Whether the students want it or not, the building will keep being remodeled until it’s condemned. I suppose that is what happens when you convert a parking garage into an academic building. 5. Renovating another dining hall With Hinman already down for the count, students would be left with only three to choose from! 4. A life-size sculpture of Harvey Stenger, made of solid gold Not even Harvey himself would want this. 3. A football team Judging by the performance of Binghamton’s other sports teams, and the general athletic ability of the student body, the addition of a football team would quickly result in the death of the beloved and not at all stale or overused “undefeated since 1946” joke. What a tragedy that would be. 2. Paving the Nature Preserve Despite what less reputable publications on this campus might have you believe, paving the Nature Preserve and adding a parking lot in its place would be a bad use of school funds, and would not do much to solve the issue of parking on campus. 1. Two new baseball stadiums Less is more.

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CRACKING OPEN A CASE OF CORONA

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Cracking Open a Case of Corona By Harold Rook

H

ey, everyone, it’s Harry, and I… huauh…HUUURAGH *splattering*! *Sniff* Damn it, it’s everywhere! Anyway, I’m…huauh…sick as hell… probably the *cough* sickest I’ve been in a long time. And I know exactly what’s wrong with me! I must have contracted *cough* the modern-day Bubonic Plague. Of course, I’m talking about *sniff* the terror, the microbial grim reaper, a killer so terrifying it has gripped the world with fear! It’s the… huauh…coronavirus…HUUURAGH *splattering*! Ugh, not the keyboard! It’ll take weeks to get rid of the smell! Puke notwithstanding, symptoms of the coronavirus at first appear to be just like any other bad cold: fever, sinus infection, and a sore throat, signs that we are all familiar with. But then it gets worse, with patients developing shortness of breath before the virus travels to the *cough* respiratory system, leading to pneumonia and potentially death. And I’m the lucky loser to catch a virus that has closed off entire cities in China, the origin of this outbreak. How could this have happened? How can a virus spread to such an extent? How could China, the benevolent world leader pushing us into the future, not have stopped the virus in its tracks before yours truly got infected? And how is the United States responding? Well *cough*, the only way to truly know is for me to tough it out and retell the story of this plague. Put on your hazmat suits, everyone, because we are going to the epicenter of the outbreak: Wuhan, China. According to the Center for Disease Control (CDC), the origin for the disease was first linked to a live animal and seafood market in Wuhan, China. Here, the CDC theorizes, the virus spread from the animals being sold to humans, possibly through contact with infected snakes or bats. After initial cases of infection, reports of the coronavirus spreading via human to human contact outside the vicinity of the marketplace became increasingly prevalent. This, along with the highly

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virulent nature of the virus (SARSCoV-2), only inflating the number of reported cases, with nearly 291 patients in China admitted for the virus by January 20th, according to Reuters. By January 30th, cases of the virus spread through indirect contact appear in the United States, Japan, and Germany, leading to the World Health Organization declaring the outbreak a Global Public Health Emergency the very same day. Over a period of three to four weeks, reported cases have spread to Italy, Iran, South Korea, Australia, the United Arab Emirates, and other countries. As of February 24, 2020, there have been over 79,000 reported cases of the coronavirus, with 96.7% of all cases coming from China. Proportional to this, the virus has resulted in 2,593 deaths in China, overtaking previous outbreaks of SARS and MERS on sheer volume. So how did it get this bad? Surely, one would expect the Chinese government to take cautious measures in limiting the number of cases. By enacting reasonable health protocol and demonstrating a professional attitude, the Chinese Communist Party could set an example as a leader in promoting global health, and show that they care about their own people. After all, why wouldn’t they do that? Enter: Dr. Li Wenliang. As well as being an ophthalmologist and well respected by his colleagues, Dr. Li had also been working at the Wuhan Central Hospital upon the start of the outbreak. Upon noticing that several of his patients appeared to be show-

ing signs of pneumonia and respiratory failure, Dr. Li suspected a possible SARs coronavirus that caused similar symptoms in 2003. Subsequent testing and confirmation of a coronavirus being the main culprit led Dr. Li to post his findings on a WeChat messaging board, unknowingly being one of the first to determine that the outbreak was due to a new coronavirus on December 30th, 2019. When word of this important discovery got out, how do you think Chinese officials responded? Surely, they would thank Dr. Li for his important contribution to public health and use his findings to properly respond to incoming cases. Imagine if officials, upon learning of his warnings on WeChat, summoned Dr. Li before the Public Security Bureau and charged him with making “false comments.” Crazy, right? Except…this happened. Not only did Dr. Li have to sign a letter claiming he disrupted the social order, not only did Chinese authorities arrest eight doctors on the same message board, and not only did authorities attempt to minimize his findings by claiming that the virus could not spread via human to human contact, but Dr. Li would later get infected by the very same virus he tried to warn the Chinese public about. Later succumbing to the disease, one of his last statements to the public encapsulates the situation: “There should be more than one voice in a healthy society.” It should be no surprise then that, upon learning of the true severity of the outbreak, the local officials that attempted to suppress Dr. Li’s discov-

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BINGHAMTONREVIEW.COM ery were promptly condemned by the public and even government agencies. However, while initial reports of the virus were concealed, the overall narrative by Chinese officials of this being contained to the marketplace and not transmitted by human to human contact seemed to be accurate. It even appeared that China was gaining credit from the international community; Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus, the Director-General of the World Health Organization (WHO), praised China’s “transparency,” stating that their handling of the situation deserved “gratitude and respect.” That sounds like quite the appraisal! Who could doubt the WHO, who’s second largest donor is Beijing? And Director-General Ghebreyesus is just the person to give this glowing review! I mean, sure, Ghebreyesus was part of the Tigray’s People Liberation Front, a Marxist-Leninist political party in Ethiopia that shares many of the same core ideology as the Chinese Communist Party. And yes, Ethiopia and China are partnered in the Belt and Road Initiative, an infrastructure project meant to revive ancient trade routes. But this means nothing! Obviously, the appraisal by WHO of China’s response is completely genuine and may not have any underlying motive. The resulting response by Chinese Communist Party to the outbreak has been heavy-handed; citizens of Wuhan, the metropolitan center for the coronavirus, have been completely quarantined within the city. While a quarantine might seem like a good idea, halting the virus’s spread through limited contact with the healthy, in practice how the Chinese government

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CRACKING OPEN A CASE OF CORONA

acted was disastrous. All citizens within the city, healthy or not, are quarantined within Wuhan. Yet this is ironically a dangerous motion; by isolating healthy citizens with the sick, this quarantine effectively traps the entire population of Wuhan, exacerbating the rate of infection. However, the measure that is most malign by Xi Jinping’s government was a self-described “people’s war.” Sharing parallels with the Cultural Revolution, the “people’s war” encompasses a series of expectations set by the Chinese Communist Party for the average citizen: creation of impromptu quarantine camps, turning in sick neighbors to the authorities, and door-to-door searches for people with even the slightest signs of what could be the coronavirus. The problem with these actions, on top of the violation of human rights, is that instead of encouraging people to come forward if they feel ill, it creates an environment of terror, with citizens staying home in fear of their own government. With China paralyzed in its attempts to deal with SARS-CoV-2, this raises one question: what are we doing? As of the time writing this, fifteen people within the United States have been confirmed to have the virus, with the CDC determining that twelve of these cases are from patients who’ve traveled to Wuhan. Although this indicates that person-to-person contagion has been limited, the fear surrounding the coronavirus has nevertheless reverberated throughout the United States, with the sudden decline in the stock market and Vice President Mike Pence taking charge of the coronavirus response highlighting this. The current CDC plan of action has been focused primarily on travelers that are being flown to the United States: planes with travelers from Wuhan to California are

first flown to Alaska, where they are screened by the CDC. Upon confirming travelers being uninfected, passengers are flown to their destination, with those with the virus being put in quarantine. Nevertheless, the CDC reports that the odds of contracting the coronavirus for the majority of American is relatively low. So, the panic over this sudden epidemic is certainly justified. The incompetence displayed by China has been detrimental to stopping the epidemic. The immediate attempts at covering up the coronavirus also seems suspicious, almost like local officials were hiding something. I’m just going to put on a tin-foil hat for a minute and mention a quick conspiracy: apparently, within the vicinity of the Wuhan marketplace, there is a bioresearch lab. And, allegedly, the lab specialized in microbiological research, including viruses. This may mean, according to proponents of this theory, that SARS-CoV-2 was a bioweapon. Now, I wouldn’t propose a conspiracy theory without absolute confirmation that this is true, yet the initial cover up makes me wonder. So, to avoid giving you all misinformation, all I’ll say is this: hmmm...INTERESTING. Anyway…huauh…the coronavirus can be *cough* seen as a case study for how the Chinese government operates. Attempted coverups, reckless quarantines, and *cough* a “people’s war” illustrates the top-down perspective of a government that has no concept for basic human rights. Rightfully, the nature of this outbreak should *cough* be taken seriously, however rare the chances of getting infected may be. As for me…I…huauh…only have myself to blame, really…huauh… why’d I have to drink all those Coronas? Should have…huauh…stuck with Guinness…huauh…HUURAGH *splattering*!

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SA ELECTION ENDORSEMENTS

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SA Election Endorsements By Our Staff

Ladies and gentlemen, it’s SA election season. That annoying time of year when you’re bombarded with flyers and social media posts about candidates you know nothing about, who are running for positions you know nothing about. Six SA Executive Board positions are up for election, and to make matters even more confusing for the vast majority of students that do not give a shit, all six positions contain the word “President” in their title. Without further ado, let’s meet the candidates. President Kahleel James is running unopposed for Student Association President. He is the current Vice President of Multicultural Affairs, but wants to make the jump to President next year because “our community needs guidance.” Executive Vice President Maggie Koekkoek is running unopposed for Student Association Executive Vice President. If elected, her goals include “restructuring our mandatory leadership conferences, enhancing communication from and accessibility to the EVP office, and placing an emphasis on effective transitioning for newly elected leaders of our student organizations.” She also has more Ks in her name than any other candidate, with a whopping four (which is significantly better than three Ks). Vice President for Finance Jacob Eckhaus is running unopposed for Student Association Vice President for Finance. If elected, he plans to “increase the scope of the advisor program and further the amount of group outreach coming from [his] office.” Vice President for Multicultural Affairs David Hatami is running unopposed for Student Association Vice President for Multicultural Affairs. He wants to “forge a strong, positive relationship between the student body and University Administration,” which he claims is an important step toward “addressing the inadequate University responses to numerous incidents within the past few semesters.” Vice President for Programming Sophia Cavalluzzi is running unopposed for Student Association Vice President for Programming. As Vice President for Programming, she says she will “keep campus informed” and “attend organization meetings of those groups who would like to meet and take notes on their feedback.” Vice President for Academic Affairs Joshua Dorfman is running for Student Association Vice President for Academic Affairs. He claims that his platform “stands on five significant pillars: mental health, physical wellbeing, student advising, learning workshops, and auxiliary academic resources.” His last name is also Dorfman, which should probably earn him some pity votes. Our Endorsements Since every single candidate is running unopposed, our endorsements should be fairly obvious. We endorse writing in Musclini for every position. An election in which there is only one option to “choose” from is hardly an election. Every candidate is guaranteed to win the position they are running for - unless a write-in receives more votes. For this reason, we endorse writing in Musclini - everyone’s favorite Binghamton Review contributor - instead of voting for any of the declared candidates. #VoteMusclini 8

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THE DANGERS OF MOB MENTALITY

The Dangers of Mob Mentality By Joe Badalamenti

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t’s been over four months since the spike in political tensions on campus here at Binghamton University. In November, a mob of students led a coordinated protest against a table of College Republicans and TPUSA members. Several days later this group took over a planned speaking event hosted by College Republicans in which famous economist Arthur Laffer was planned to speak about economic theory and how tariffs would affect American workers. While tensions have decreased since this period, it is embarrassing to see the exchange of ideas lose out to mob rule at this institution of study. However, this was not a lone incident, but part of a trend of aggressive behavior throughout the country. A similar event occurred recently at Ohio University, in an even more violent and dangerous manner. On February 17th, a mob formed at Ohio University following the appearance of conservative activist Kaitlin Bennett. A police report stated that, while there was no violence, the mob did hurl insults in order to publicly harass Bennett. Video footage contradicts this, showing a student throwing water at her. Kaitlin Bennett is a public figure known for her viral stunts and her conservitive viewpoints. She first gained

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“...these mobs have no moral constraints, meaning yelling, insults, and, at worst violence, can become justified.” popularity after taking photos of herself carrying an AR-10 on campus at Kent State shortly after her graduation. Bennett also happened to be the President of the Kent State TPUSA chapter. Much of the controversy surrounding Bennett comes from her conservative ideas on topics such as gun rights, abortion, and transgender rights. Bennett’s purpose for being at the university was to simply discuss American civics with students. However, upon arrival, Bennett was denied the opportunity to speak by the mob of students. While students do have the right to protest as part of free speech, this does not extend to preventing others from exercising their rights. This concept is known as the heckler’s veto. In addition, Ohio University is a public university, meaning property rights can’t be used in order to prevent a speaker or activist. The reason why this is such a

dangerous trend is self-evident. Firstly, it encourages mob mentality among students. This means that students will be expected to conform to whatever the mob deems just. The problem here is that these mobs have no moral constraints, meaning yelling, insults, and, at worst violence, can become justified. While neither of the incidents mentioned have resulted in excessive physical violence, the possibility stands so long as their morals are flexible. In addition, this conformity prevents the development of individualism. This is important because with diversity of thought comes true learning. Without opposing opinions you’re just following whatever the authority tells you, which is the antithetical to the purpose of liberal arts. Some may claim that this can be used to justify the spread of racist and bigoted ideas. However, these hateful ideas can be easily beaten through either moral and ethical standards, or fact-based argumentation. In sum, this trend of heckling and silencing through mob rule is harmful to academic institutions as it leads to an intellectual slavery. It is for these reasons why freedom of speech must be protected now more than ever.

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THE RISE AND FALL OF ANDREW YANG

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The Rise and Fall of Andrew Yang By Joe Badalamenti

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n Tuesday February 11th, presidential candidate Andrew Yang announced that he would suspend his presidential campaign. Despite a loyal base of #YangGang supporters, Yang’s campaign was ultimately finished by low poll numbers and a lack of votes in the early Democratic primaries. So how did a candidate with such a loyal base of supporters fail to perform come election time? Well, the reality of this situation is that the perception of Yang’s political viability was inflated by the vocal minority of diehard Yang supporters. Speaking in terms of political strategy and viability, Yang never stood a chance. On November 6th 2017, Andrew Yang officially filed to run for President of the United States. As someone with no previous political experience, Yang’s announcement did not draw much attention. However, Yang would eventually gain support following a number of strategic actions. Yang has appeared on multiple podcasts, such as the Joe Rogan Experience and the Ben Shapiro show. Not only are these shows widely viewed, but their audiences are young and internet savvy, meaning that they can efficiently spread information about Yang’s candidacy. Yang was also strengthened by his website which contains dozens of his detailed policy proposals that would be implemented if he were to become president. Some interesting policies proposed by Yang include legalizing online gaming (gambling), supporting the growth of nuclear power plants, and Yang’s signature policy, UBI. UBI, or Universal Basic Income, is the policy of giving every adult citizen a guaranteed income of one thousand dollars each month in order to grow the economy, as well as lift people out of poverty. While other candidates did endorse this policy, UBI would become inseparable from Andrew Yang. Given the current low confidence of the public in politicians, seeing an outside candidate with a working plan would be enough to gain plenty of support.

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Eventually this support would permit Yang to participate in multiple debates and earn appearances on mainstream television programs. However, despite this initial boost of momentum, Yang would fail to keep up with his competitors. The main reason why Andrew Yang’s campaign didn’t live up to the expectations of the #YangGang is because of lackluster appeal. While Yang did have plenty of young supporters, he did not account for older generations of voters. Older voters not only make up a larger portion of the voting population, but also have a higher turnout rate than their younger counterparts. This, of course, means that older voters are a much more important demographic than younger voters. Establishment candidates, such as Joe Biden and Amy Klobuchar, are much more popular among older Democrats than non-establishment candidates like Yang. The reason why Yang is unappealing to these voters is because he supports outside policies, like the aforementioned UBI. The main problem with UBI (in terms of the DNC) is that it’s a radical policy. While the establishment left has strayed away from the free market, they still generally support the system of capitalism. In addition, the policy is estimated to cost 3.2 trillion dollars a year, which means that taxes would be greatly raised to pay for this program, which is against the interests of establishment Democrats. As stated before, Yang has attracted a number of younger followers who support UBI, but most young voters are likely to support a more populist candidate such as Bernie Sanders or Donald Trump. Another issue with Andrew Yang is the optics. How the voters perceive you can build or destroy a candidate. Take, for example, the tragedy of Howard Dean. Howard Dean was a 2004 Democratic candidate who lost all of his momentum due to a cringeworthy scream in a speech addressing a crowd after an impressive turnout. A month

later Dean would drop out of the race proving the elasticity of political support. This phenomenon is exemplified by the mass spread of information via the internet. Let’s begin with Yang’s debate performances: they were pretty bad. This was not because of some media black out as the #YangGang would have you believe, but because of poor performances by Yang himself. This is primarily the result of a lack of debate preparation or experience which lead to him having less speaking time during the debates. What’s worse is that during these precious seconds of speaking time, Yang only talked about UBI or standard liberal policies, while forgetting to mention any of his smaller policies that would make him stand out among the crowd. Yang did try one interesting move, debating without a tie, however this move produced mixed responses from the general public. In the end while Yang tried to be a unique candidate, it was not enough to rise to the top. What happened next is pretty obvious. Andrew Yang’s poll numbers stagnated between 5 and 1% and once the Iowa and New Hampshire primaries came around, Yang was unable to win a single delegate.. As of writing this, Yang is currently still out there meeting fans and following the rest of the primary election, despite dropping out. While he did not win the current nomination, if he takes a different approach maybe he’ll perform better in the future.

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In Defense of the Spiedie

IN DEFENSE OF THE SPIEDIE

By Jacob Klieger

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pstate New York cuisine is not known for its health benefits. In fact, most of these local delicacies seem to be engineered for consumption while deep in a drunken stupor. Rochester’s Garbage Plate - an amalgamation of your choice of meats, sauces, and sides - is the awe-inspiring pinnacle of drunk food. Buffalo’s wing has reached international status. When done correctly, the Frank’s Red Hot combines with the buttery chicken to create a savory, spicy, and beautiful combo when dipped in bleu cheese. (Dipping your wings in Ranch within Erie County is a punishable offense). Sure, you can cut up your Thousand Island 10-Year Aged Extra Sharp Cheddar Cheese and pair it with your fine Finger Lakes wine, but Mike from Utica would much rather down some pizza logs and crush a Labbatt.

“Perhaps what makes it good is the fact that there isn’t anything really bad about it.”

In the Southern Tier of Upstate New York, you will find a regional dish that has not escaped the winding river valleys and rolling hills. Perhaps it is due to the fact that it is not extraordinary. Perhaps it is due to the fact that it’s not the most savory. Perhaps what makes it good is the fact that there isn’t anything really bad about it. The spiedie is traditionally made with chicken, pork, lamb, or beef. For all

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intents and purposes we will refer to the most common meat used: chicken. Diced meat is marinated in “spiedie sauce” then skewered in similar fashion to kebab and cooked on a grill. With appropriate charring, the meat is then gripped using Italian Bread and slid off the skewer, ready for eating. Appropriate sides are mac and potato salad. The spiedie is relatively healthy in comparison to other regional dishes. Not the best, but not as bad as a dish that can feed a kibbutz and titularly refers to itself as trash. The nature of the spiedie is social. At most summertime family gatherings in Broome County, bowls of marinated chicken along with bare skewers and bags of Roma’s Italian Bread can be found next to a sizzling grill and a dad talking about “when IBM was here.” There’s even a festival named after the dish, but your energy and sanity is better spent going to LUMA. Unlike most upstate dishes, the spiedie is typically not ordered at a restaurant or hots while out drinking. Lupo’s and Char Pit act as destination outlets with the sole purpose of fulfilling your spiedie needs, no more. From Raleigh to Rochester, “spiedie sauce” marinade can be found at Wegmans, providing a low-calorie flavor boost to your home cooked fish and meats. Salamida State Fair Lemon Garlic is a reliable choice, offering a bright and zesty profile without sacrificing leanness. After soberly consuming most upstate cuisine, it is not uncommon to feel a sense of lightheadedness, “food coma,” or even slight emotional dissatisfaction. It seems that there is a direct correlation between higher age and a higher percentage that this food - when consumed without alcohol - will be of detriment to your day. The spiedie, however, won’t. When eaten in proper portions spiedies can be downright refreshing. Keep in mind, if you load on the mac salad, or have a bag of Lupo’s fries on the side, you will inevitably feel like you just took an IV of pure grease to your jugular. Your

best bet is to cook them yourself. If you don’t feel like dicing and marinating your own meat, you can find pre-packaged bags of spiedies at local grocery stores, butchers, or even online. Snag a bag of Roma’s Italian bread too. If you feel like time traveling, pick up a loaf at Battaglini’s Bakery on Oak Hill Ave in Endicott for an authentic Italian bakery experience. This will involve some commuting and effort, but the spiedie is at its best when it is home cooked. The spiedie is an odd dish to have as your hometown staple. It’s an ambient food, never playing an extremely active role in the culture - in the way a bagel would to a Long Islander, or a wing to a Buffalonian. Nonetheless, the spiedie persists. Lurking in the background of Southern Tier social gatherings, patiently waiting on Main Street, and creating the demand for fresh baked Italian bread that will inevitably envelop it. The springtime will bring dads all around the region to fire up their grills and get to skewering. The diced meat will blend in with hot dogs and hamburgers as if they are equals. Why bother cooking up spiedies when you can just have burgers and hot dogs? Why bother marinting? Why bother skewering? Well, because the spiedie is not bad.

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MASS SHOOTINGS BANNED

Mass Shootings Banned

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By Harley Stinger

I

n a courageous move last Wednesday, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi decided enough is enough and signed an executive order banning mass shootings nationwide. Speaker Pelosi has been fighting to end mass shooting for years but she finally said, “fine, I’ll do it myself ” and snapped, just like Thanos with the infinity stones, initiating the ban. Upon hearing of the ban, many future mass shooters were outraged. “I thought this was a free country!” One future shooter exclaimed. “How am I supposed to take out my anger now?” Asked another. These future mass shooters are already looking for loopholes in the executive order that would once again allow them to commit mass murder. In addition to the outrage of future mass shooters, Pelosi also pissed off many Republicans. The racist Republicans claim that Pelosi had no

constitutional right to sign an executive order. One Republican senator angrily stated “she’s not even part of the executive branch!” Pelosi, however, cited Article Eight of the Constitution that clearly states “the House Speaker (if Democrat) can do whatever the fuck he/she/zie/they wants.” This clause is located to the left of the healthcare section and to the right to smoke crack section. The executive order is already making America a better place. A man was marching up to the Capital with a machine gun, minutes after the order was signed. We informed him that mass shootings were now illegal and he responded “Oh shucks. I can’t ruthelessly murder people anymore now that it’s a federal crime. Oh well, I’ll just have to go to college and become a contributing member of society, I guess.” This new executive order

has pulled a “Swiper-no-swiping” on mass shooters, and it turns out that if you simply tell mass shooters that they can’t shoot people, they won’t. Go figure. Due to the success of the executive order, Pelosi recommends that other countries follow her example. “I can’t believe no one’s ever thought of this before,” said Pelosi in a recent interview, “really makes you think about the intelligence levels of those in office, huh?” We recently received word that in addition to this executive order, Pelosi also plans to make being Donald J. Trump an impeachable offense. As of writing this, Pelosi is on her way to the White House in order to sign the action. “Nasty Nancy Pelosi is a terrible Speaker with terrible trade deals. I’ll be president forever. FAKE NEWS.” was tweeted by President Trump moments after the announcement.

S.E.E.K (formerly called High Hopes Helpline) is a free, student-run resource for talking through tough issues. The phone line is open every night from 8 to 11 PM. If you’re struggling, S.E.E.K. is there to help.

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Vol. XXXII, Issue VIII


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DANGEROUS DAYTONA 500 CRASH

Dangerous Daytona 500 Crash By Dillon O’Toole

I

am a lifelong NASCAR fan, so naturally I was excited for the Daytona 500, the first non-exhibition race since the 2019 season finale in November. The race was scheduled for Sunday, February 16th, but was postponed to Monday the 17th when rain forced the event to be delayed after 20 laps had been completed. The race was resumed at 4 PM on Monday and was a good race overall. With the exception of some minor incidents, the first two stages of the race were relatively incident free. This allowed drivers and their crews to focus on race strategy to try and position themselves up front by the end of the race. During the final stage, however, chaos began to ensue. Numerous incidents slowly whittled down the field of prime contenders. The final restart of the race had driver Ryan Newman take the lead until he crashed as the drivers approached the start-finish line, allowing his opponent Denny Hamlin to win his second Daytona 500 in a row, and his third Daytona 500 overall. Ryan Newman’s crash was much more serious than the people watching initially thought. NASCAR fans are used to seeing cars flip every now and then, especially on tracks like Daytona and Talladega. Many of us have been lulled into a false sense of security when seeing these types of crashes due to the immense safety NASCAR has implemented into these cars. This sense of security instantly vanished as the cameras cut to Newman’s car and the countless safety crew members rushing to the scene. This is not unusual, but what was out of the ordinary was the amount of time that passed without any word of Newman’s condition. Then the replay was shown. His car had turned and slammed into the outside wall, causing it to go airborne. When Newman’s car was coming back down to the track, the driver’s side window of his car was struck by Corey LaJoie’s car, due to Newman’s car being upside down. His car then proceeded to slide across the track on

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its roof until it finally came to a stop. This replay brought an immediate feeling of dread to myself and countless other people as we were all reminded of the 2001 Daytona 500. Almost nineteen years ago, Dale Earnhardt Sr. died in a crash during the last lap. This was the most recent fatality to occur in NASCAR’s top three series, and many of us feared we just saw the next one. I, along with the rest of the NASCAR community, anxiously waited for news to be released about Newman as he was taken directly to the Halifax Medical Center in Florida. Thankfully, when news did come, it was good news. It was announced that, although Newman’s injuries put him in serious condition, they were not life threatening. The outpouring of support from those who watch NASCAR and even those who had never seen a race was tremendous to see. This, however, did not stop a small minority of people from bringing politics into this incident. One individual said this on Twitter: “I don’t want to seem insensitive, but I think this is important #context. A fellow Buttigieger sent me this. Ryan Newman endorsed Donald Trump for president. So many #lgbt #minority #dreamers have been hurt by Trump. Newman deserves SOME bad karma.”

The tweet was accompanied by a link to a Washington Examiner article detailing the political preferences of a number of racers, including Newman. This type of response is completely unjustified. Wishing “bad karma” on someone because they support a politician who you do not support is evil. This was an especially bad take because at the time this person posted this, 8:56 pm, there had been no announcement about Newman’s condition. That announcement came at 10:04 pm from the official NASCAR Twitter account. For all this Twitter user knew, Newman could have died in the crash.

I want to remind everyone that in this extremely polarized time that we are all still human beings. Treat everyone with respect (even if the leaders of our country seem to have forgotten that) and do not wish injury or death to those you disagree with. (I will point out that the poster of this tweet replied to their original tweet and stated that they didn’t wish for Newman to be killed, just that they didn’t wish for Newman to win the race. They also stated that they were praying for his health. This reply still doesn’t make up for the fact that they stated this was deserved karma for supporting Trump.) So to conclude this piece, I want to ask everyone, on both sides of the aisle, to treat each other better, and maybe then we will find that we aren’t as divided as we seem to think.

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EXISTENCE

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Existence By Anju Anand

I

was never one to think, I just existed. Because existence is hard enough as it is. What with all the requirements for getting through a day. One needed nourishment, one needed sleep, one needed companionship, one needed protection for when one’s own mind is lulled to slumber, and one needed purpose. For why should one bother living another second otherwise? Whoever designed the system seemed to have thought well ahead to keep everyone busy, going behind every little thing, that one doesn’t have the time or the energy to wonder about purpose, and instead they trudge along like clockwork. It was genius, really. And it would’ve worked with me too, had some dumb wit not left me alone, locked in a room, taking away hope for everything else from me, leaving me with the final question - why am I here? I should back up a little bit. I am a twenty something year old living in one of the dingiest slums of my area. I wouldn’t know if it was the dingiest of the lot because I haven’t been around, for obvious reasons.

“I decided to observe more human beings. Maybe someone out there would express something positive and I could learn from them.” When I was born, it was said that the skies wept. But I’ve always considered it to be more of the skies reaching out to me, caressing me in their own way. Then again, I caught a fever thanks to the subsequent cold that spread. So I’m not sure which version to believe. Or maybe it is what it is and I was reading too much into it because I wanted it to be in my favour. Who knows? But a girl needs a will to live, and hence I always welcomed the rains, albeit with a vary distance given the experience with the fever.

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I am a single child who mostly resides in her own head. Which really suited my parents because they had enough to scream at each other about and didn’t really have the time for another living being. That was completely alright by me - I could fantasize. And that is how my childhood sped away. I lived in multiple universes, all the while my body rested on the dirt that found its way into our home that never got kicked out. Besides, it is hard to make friends when you have to work every minute of the day. I think my only time of leisure was when I didn’t know how to walk. That seems like a good state to go back to, however, I’ve always felt that I’m better off any moment more than any of the previous ones. I grew up learning to make bangles, to make odds and ends as is demanded by the market. Sometimes it was mats, sometimes it was dresses, all the same I enjoyed the learning process and applying the ways of making one thing into another, for fundamentally, they seemed to have some underlying structure that I was beginning to get a grasp of. And while my thoughts were deep within, I tuned out every fight my parents had, which is probably why I didn’t realise my father left

home until it was too late. Like a week late. Yeah, I’m not one to pay attention to external sounds. It was then that I noticed the internal breakdowns of my mother. Not that she tried to hide it before, mind you, just that I had gotten so good at tuning everything out. I wondered, should I have let it all in before? Would that have made anything better? The fantasies seemed a better place to live in, given that I could make things up as I wished and not be bothered by reality. I’d taken up a job as a newspaper delivery girl by then and I had a whole early morning routine. I had to walk to the newspaper office, take my bunch of papers to supply the address list which I knew by heart by now, and cycle my way to each place with the cycle they had so thoughtfully provided. I had to return the cycle after my rounds, of course. But I always took it for one leisure round before taking it back. They had no way of measuring mileage. The newspaper job led me to interactions with human beings apart from my mother and father who hadn’t really set a good precedent. The first time someone tried to make contact by giving me a chocolate, I cycled as fast as I could away from there. The girl then left me a chocolate in the spot I placed the newspaper. Food was scarce, so I grabbed it and fled. But overtime, she came closer to me each day and I found myself gazing into her face. I realised then that I hadn’t learned how to make the sounds that people around me seem to be making. I desperately wanted to tell her thank you, but how? This was going to take effort.

“What is it that’s stopping me from telling the world that I genuinely love it and for once I wish it would love me back?” Vol. XXXII, Issue VIII


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That night, I paid attention to my mother. Maybe I could use the expressions she was using, but I didn’t feel like they were giving any kind of a positive vibe. I decided to observe more human beings. Maybe someone out there would express something positive and I could learn from them. And that is how my newspaper rounds got longer. My mother was annoyed I was not spending enough time on the bangles, or whatever it was we were making that day, but I was content. I could see hope - I could see myself conveying something to her. And some of the sounds I listened to caused my heart to feel different kinds of emotions - longing, happiness, sadness, loss, the whole spectrum of it all. Every day I’d look at her, the words becoming more and more solid in my mind and yet not completely coming out as sounds. And everyday she would smile for me. My one friend I could come home to. Even though physically, that was not where I lived. There was something wrong in the general air though. People seemed to be upset. No, upset does not do the feeling justice. Furious, maybe? I was seeing a rise in deaths and I wondered why. Was a disease spreading in the land? Was I in the risk of catching a fever, only, a fatal one this time? The dead were not even given a proper funeral, they were taken away to the edge of the forest and dumped there, and there wouldn’t be a shred remaining the next day. I did not have the luxury of distancing myself from things because doing so would definitely mean death by starvation, not doing so, however, only meant a probable death. I chose the latter.

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EXISTENCE On one of the subsequent days, and I still remember the day clearly, the gloom in the air had not reduced. It was colder than it should feel like, and as I went on my newspaper rounds, my friend had not come to see me. I feared the worst. I dashed back home to find that my mom was not there. She’s never really left home before. The silence was too loud, it was unbearable. I cycled to the edge of the forest, hoping against all odds to not find what I was looking for. And yet, find them, I did. I hugged them hard, I did not have the resources or knowledge to send them off in the appropriate way and yet in my mind, I was doing so.

“I don’t have a place I belong to, but isn’t the universe for me to explore?” I cycled back home, because I didn’t know where else to go. But someone had seen me in close contact with them. And when I entered my home, I was locked within. What is it that’s stopping me from telling the world that I genuinely love it and for once I wish it would love me back? Maybe it’s the thought that it does, in its own small ways. In the way the clouds break into rain to soothe my soul and bring peace and rhythm to the otherwise tumultuous rigours in my mind. In the way the little sprouts seem to stick out of nowhere to let me know that life can arise amidst a dreary setting. To let me know how beautiful it is to live. How wonderful is it that listening to a particular series of beats brings one to a known setting, and can make one feel emotions even without words.

I don’t have a place I belong to, but isn’t the universe for me to explore? I don’t have a face to come home to, but isn’t what I’m yearning for spread across every speck of living being? Maybe this requirement of needing a home and a person to come back to is just an extension of the ego of the self. Maybe all one needs is oneself and the knowledge that every little thing around and within put together is a whole, nothing else. Maybe coming to this realization will cease my existence because to exist means to yearn for love and support, for home and comfort, and that is lost once the meaning behind it is lost. Once the meaning that a word held is lost, it is nothing but a connection of syllables - it does not exist in consciousness anymore. Maybe that is why we are unable to process things beyond a certain point it is a kind of a suicide mission and the mind tries it’s best to protect itself, for survival is key to evolution. But why life?

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