May 2011 - Binghamton Review by Binghamton Review

TRUTH AND TWO STAPLES

MAY 2011

BINGHAMTON REVIEW

FOR YOUR EYE ONLY OSAMA BIN LADEN IS DEAD Also, here’s our shitlist...

Binghamton Review

P.O. BOX 6000 BINGHAMTON, NY 13902-6000

EDITOR@BINGHAMTONREVIEW.COM

FOUNDED 1987 • VOLUME XXIV NUMBER 5 • MAY 2011

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Michael M. Lombardi

Contents

Editor Emeritus Adam Shamah Managing Editors Aaron Ricks Mark Soriano Associate Editors Rachel Gordon Nick Fondacaro Randal J. Meyer

Copy Desk Chief Eric Larson

SO LONG, FAREWELL Campus celebrates scumbag’s death

Treasurer Marissa Beldock Contributors Kate Flatley, Joseph Aguiar, Dov Berkman Graduate Elahd Bar-Shai Godfather of the Review Louis W. Leonini Friends of the Review Dr. Aldo S. Bernardo The Leonini Family Mr. Bob Soltis WA2VCS The Shamah Family The Grynheim Family The Menje Family The Leeds Family The Lombardi Family The Packer Family Mr. Michael O’Connell Binghamton Review is printed by Our Press in Chenango Bridge, NY. We provide the truth; they provide the staples.

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Four Years in Retrospect by Michael M. Lombardi And So it Ends... by Adam Shamah End of an Era by Randal Meyer The State of Student Housing by Kate Flatley Happy 63rd to Israel by Dov Berkman The Evil Telescreen by Kate Flatley Out with the Old by Joseph Aguiar

Why the United States must remain vigilant

Happy Anniversary Belgium by Mark Soriano

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Church Versus State by Aaron Ricks Changing of the Guard by The New Editors

Celebrating a year without a government

Departments 3 EDITORIAL 4 CAMPUS PRESSWATCH 20 THE ENEMIES LIST

Tell us what you think! Direct letters to editor@binghamtonreview.com.

EDITORIAL

Dear Readers,

his is the last editorial which I will write as editor of the Review. Since our last issue so much has happened in the world around us. I want to start off by expressing my sincerest gratitude to the brave men who, a little over a week ago, took part in the operation that killed Osama Bin Laden. This evil mass-murderer has finally been brought to justice. While Bin Laden’s death is not something to jubilantly celebrate, we should celebrate the resolve of our great nation. As any New Yorker who remembers that fateful September day ten years ago will attest, I think we can all rest a bit easier now that Bin Laden will never walk the Earth again. This aside, terror is not something which will go away with the demise of Bin Laden. The United States must continue to be vigilant and oppose the evil forces that seek its destruction. I commend the President, intelligence community, and especially our armed services for this daring and triumphant operation. The United States has sent a clear message: murderous terrorists who target American lives will never be able to rest easy. P.S. As I leave the Review, I do so leaving it in good hands. The next generation of staff are ready and

able to take up the torch and carry our ideals into the future. Incoming editor Aaron Ricks and managing editor Mark Soriano both have great new ideas for the publication. Behind them are equally qualified and gung-ho writers and support staff. I am glad Aaron and Mark will be at the helm, when Review turns a quarter century old next year. This will be an important milestone in our long history. In closing, I first want to thank the readers, as they are the lifeblood of any publication. Secondly, I would like to thank all of those who have been part of the Review during my time at Binghamton. Finally, it has been my pleasure to be part of this publication for over three years, and I am proud to have had the opportunity to lead the Review. B Sincerely, Michael M. Lombardi Editor-in-Chief

TELL US WHAT YOU THINK! Direct letters to editor@binghamtonreview.com. Our Mission Binghamton Review is a non-partisan, student-run periodical of conservative thought at Binghamton University. A true liberal arts education expands a student’s horizons and opens one’s mind to a vast array of divergent perspectives. In that spirit, we seek to promote the free exchange of ideas and offer an alternative viewpoint not normally found on our predominately liberal campus. It is our duty to expose the warped ideology of political correctness that dominates this university. We stand against tyranny in all its forms, both on campus and beyond. We believe in the principles set forth in this country’s Declaration of Independence and seek to preserve the fundamental tenets of Western civilization. Finally, we understand that a moral order is a necessary component of any civilized society. We strive to inform, engage, and perhaps even amuse our readers in carrying out this mission. www.binghamtonreview.com

CPampus resswatch Asian Outlook April 2011 Letter from the Editor Calvin Prashad pretends that he speaks for every culture on campus while discussing the SA financial council’s comments about the Black Student Union... “If not for the efforts of NYPIRG, such a remark may have gone unnoticed in the 70-plus-page minutes.” Is that a statement to the value of NYPIRG or the laziness of everyone in every other group...especially media organizations that should review those records...like AO?? “I call for FINCO to identify and relieve this member of his or her duties and condemn that statement. Failing that, if FINCO wants to protect their own, as is so common when a member of SA misbehaves, then we the students have a responsibility to force every single of member of FINCO [sic] from their positions.” Yeah, because no cultural group would ever do something like that. Just ask Asian Outlook’s new editor-in-chief about how when a representative on the Student Assembly attends an Assembly meeting completely drunk and the SA leadership decides to cover it up so that her college career is not destroyed by a Pipe Dream article publicizing it.

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Yearbook 2011 Typically we do not criticize the yearbook here, but this was just too good to pass up, and they are a publication...

You put out one issue a year! Good luck with your Univeristy education... Talk Back April 2011 “New OCCT Scanners” EMO/SAC is back with a new broadsheet-newspaper format, proof that mediocrity comes in many forms... “Maybe the little changes to stuff on campus don’t feel like a big deal. New types of building, new programs, new cuts to old programs, new tuition, revised rules, new-ish Zionist groups, the SA of course wants to become a legal corporation, and as usual to axe the VPMA position and the word “multicultural” from everywhere...” What the hell does this have to do with OCCT scanners?? “...Or was it to finally do something about the huge crowds of local residents who regularly cram onto the blue bus? To make sure we

keep out the ‘scary’ people some pipe dream [sic] interviewees were describing down-town? (Is if not obvious that WE from CAMPUS tend to be the scariest people downtown?)...Does it have to do with GSO/SA/OCCT politics, [sic] what’s the story? Is it about keeping track of grad v. undergrad use? Or is it really extremely important to be absolutely sure we exclude 100% of the handful of non-SUNY people who have ever tried to exploit the free buses? Is it randomly about terrorism?” This is exactly why the hippies at GSO were kicked off the OCCT Board of Directors. Yes. It is about all of those things. The elected reps on OCCT have decided free riders like grad students and townies should no longer benefit from a service of which undergraduates pay the bulk of and benefit less than grad students. It’s such a travesty when a Board of Directors makes decisions that benefit the company and those that pay into it. It’s an even worst travesty when those same measures prevent...terrorism? Let’s be frank, since the hippie ideology has been expelled from OCCT, the company has become profitable (that’s no longer in bankruptcy for you GSO hippies) and started investing in safer buses. Enough said. B MAY 2011

FAREWELLS

Four Years in Retrospect Thoughts from the Editor by Michael M. Lombardi

s I write these words, I still cannot believe that I am at the end of my college career. Four years seem to have flown by in a blink of an eye, and in just over a week I will be graduating. One of my first memories from when I toured Binghamton as a high school student, was of all things an issue of Pipe Dream. In that issue, the outgoing editor at the time gave his parting sentiments. Well now I am a departing editor of the Review, and I am going to take this time to get up on my soapbox and give you mine. Some of the most important lessons which one can learn in college are not found in a classroom. They are the life skills learned and relationships forged. Yes, I can now say I am qualified enough in Finance to earn my Bachelor of Science. I took the classes and earned the degree. However, the person who stands before you today is more than the product of an assortment of courses taken over eight semesters at Binghamton. He is far different from the seventeen-year-old freshman who hugged his parents goodbye that day in August of 2007. The summation of my experiences from then to now have molded and changed me as a person. To a freshman, these skills may not seem that important; yet, in the end, are perhaps the most valuable things one will take out of their time in college. These are things such as learning how to be self-reliant, building friendships which will last years after college, and finally, perhaps the most important, forming your own personality and views. I feel these skills are just as valuable as all of the coursework I have completed. College has not only broadened my academic horizons, but my personal ones as well. A big part of what I have learned during my time at Binghamton came from the Review. When Rob www.binghamtonreview.com

Menje, Adam Shamah, Randal Meyer and I took over the publication, it was in absolute shambles. The trials and tribulations which we all went through not only saved the publication, but brought us together as friends. I credit the experiences gleaned from my time as a writer, business manager and ultimately Editor-in-Chief, as some of the most important in my college career. So as for my advice to the younger generations, it is as follows: College is going to fly by, so enjoy every second. There is plenty of time to be old and boring, get out there and live life. Find something you are passionate about, and take advantage of the incredible freedoms that come with being a college student. For me, the Review was one of those passions, and I am incredibly grateful to have been a part of the organization for so long. Finally, and what I feel is the most important, build strong and lasting friendships. College can get overwhelming at times, and when that happens, step back and realize that the world is your oyster; you just have to go for it. One additional point, stay away from Student Association government. From my first hand experience, there are far more important and interesting ways to utilize time at Binghamton. As I said before, take this advice at your own regard. I hope these sentiments are helpful, and hell maybe some malleable freshman will read them and decide to go into campus journalism. Hey, if anything, I can dream. I offer my congratulations to the class of 2011 and to all those who will come after us. B Michael Lombardi is a graduating senior, and is the current editor-in-chief of the Review. 5

FAREWELLS

And So it Ends...

Some advice and parting shots by Adam Shamah

ell, old friend, it looks like it is time to say goodbye. In less than two weeks, I will drive down Route 17 one last time, my four years at Binghamton will be nothing but a memory, and, in terms of the Review, I will become no more than a “subscriber.” Before I leave you with some parting advice and burn a few bridges, I would like to briefly reflect. Of the many things I have done in Binghamton, the Review stands out; nothing is as satisfying as passionately advocating a set of ideals, and it doesn’t hurt that we were able to entertain people while doing so. Four years ago, the Review hit a rough patch; a neglectful editor left it with no staff or direction. Robert Menje--a mentor and one of my best friends--and I were left to pick up the pieces. With the help of many others, we were able to quickly rebuild the Review and preside over its Golden Age, during which we challenged the Campus Left and won more victories than we ever thought possible on a college campus. I am forever grateful to the many friends I met along the way who helped me carry out the Review’s mission. I spent a lot of words in my final editorial as editor-in-chief last year reflecting on my time at the Review. Now, one year later, as I prepare to graduate, I come to you with some parting advice. Number One: Find something on campus that makes you happy, and give it your all. Whether it’s engaging in student government, editing a newspaper, joining a student group, 6

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or even live action role playing, there’s something on campus for everyone. You pay for it; take advantage. The campus lacks passionate, intelligent student leaders in a dire way. Capable students getting involved is the only way to mend this. It is also a great way to build close friendships. Number Two: Get off campus! Binghamton, while kind of a shitty place, has a lot to see. Go for a drive on a weekend, and see it from corner to corner. Also, check out Endicott, the hills of Vestal, and Kopernik Observatory. Drive up to Ithaca or Syracuse when you have the time. If you can get some friends to join you, move off campus during your second year. It is infinitely times better than living under the reign of Reslife. Number Three: Stay informed! Even if you don’t enjoy politics, student government, or campus administration, try to keep yourself up to date with what is going on. Believe it or not, students have the power to change a lot on this campus. While the Student Association may seem like it is full of assholes, most of your elected representatives truly have your best interest at heart, for the time being at least. All they need is your informed voice to propel them to make great changes to student life. Those who have read the Review since my editorship should know I don’t usually pull any punches, but as my final days approach, here are some final, frank thoughts on some of the institutions that surround us: Pipe Dream: The writers and editors of Pipe Dream over the past four years

really have been some of the dumbest people I’ve ever met. The publication has had no consistent editorial stance (I am not talking from year-to-year; its logic changes from issue to issue), is biased beyond belief (they interviewed me once for thirty minutes, and then used, out of context, only the quotes that provided back-story to their editorial claims), and is just plain boring. They call themselves the “pinnacle of campus journalism,” but not once, in four years, have they published a story which resulted in a positive change being enacted on campus. Their poor reporting is primarily responsible for our campus’ apathy. It is a pathetic excuse for a newspaper and certainly not something I will miss when I am gone. City of Binghamton: While Pipe Dream takes second place, the government of the City of Binghamton wins the award for “dumbest people I have ever met.” The mayor has 13,000 energetic, intelligent, affluent (by Binghamton standards) students living in his backyard, yet all he focuses on are his welfare programs and community gardens while the City around him crumbles. No wonder Binghamton resembles a Detroit project rather than a college town. Luckily, private enterprise is finally picking up the City’s slack and developing downtown into a student-centered community while private citizens promote student living on the west side. Meanwhile, the government continues to try to evict students wherever they live, playing right in to the University’s dream of MAY 2011

having everyone live on campus. Please register to vote and get rid of these people in 2013. NYPIRG: I hate everything about this organization, especially their viewpoint. In the 1970s, they took advantage of the country’s sociopolitical climate to pass referendums guaranteeing them hundreds of thousands of dollars annually on campuses across the country. Thirty years later, students woke up and began de-funding them. I am proud to have taken part in that successful effort here. In fact, there is little that gives me more pleasure than knowing I was responsible for cutting enough money from their budget that they had to fire an employee. The sooner other campuses follow suit and rid themselves of this pariah, the better. Student Association: My time as vice president for finance of the SA, and as a student assembly representative before that, has been bittersweet. There are times when I have wanted to burn the institution to the ground, whether because of various missteps by other student leaders or my general antigovernment predisposition. But I have come to definitively conclude that the SA is a net-benefit on campus. Quality of life is one of Binghamton’s greatest weaknesses; the City of Binghamton and University administration are certainly no help, perhaps even a detriment, to improving this. That leaves one institution with the ability to improve student life: the students themselves. The next crop of student leaders have the right vision. I sincerely wish them the best in improving the quality of life of their peers. With that, I bid Binghamton farewell. So long. B Adam Shamah is a graduating senior, and was editor in chief of the Review from 2008-2010. www.binghamtonreview.com

End of an Era

The world moves around us by Randal Meyer

our years ago, during my first semester of freshman year, I met a kid named Adam Shamah through a mutual friend, Dan Rabinowitz. Adam was a passionate Neo-Conservative Review writer and I was the crazy president of College Libertarians. One night in CIW, I convinced Adam Shamah to run for the Student Assembly and in the same conversation, he convinced me to begin writing for the Review. And what has been called “The Reign of Terror” ensued. Twenty-five issues of the Review later, I sit here writing my goodbye piece. I have read through at least ten good-bye articles but it does not make it easier to write one of them. In two weeks time Binghamton will be reduced to a memory rather than a life. In two weeks, I am no longer a “fraternity president” but an “unemployed alcoholic.” I can honestly say a few things about college: (1) I learned 95% of what I learned in college outside of my classes and through activities like the Student Association, Theta Delta Chi, and the Review (2) There is nothing more important in life than good company and (3) There is no experience that is worth fearing. New experiences are inevitable and unpredictable. It is simply a better choice to face life with a bold eye for adventure and cast caution to the wind. Had I not gone to Sports Bar as a freshman

and come back to meet Dan Rabinowitz, I would never have met Shamah, been on the Review, or left the comfort of Bartle’s brick walls. Class is kind of useful. If you are smart enough then you can get a B+/A- (A and A+ in SOM grades) with little to no effort and complete multiple degrees in Harpur. But that is how it is in every college in the US, even the real Ivys. What you should take out of classes is how to think critically. Most of my classes have a liberal slant or perspective, but those perspectives are useful in learning how to think critically. Competency comes directly from critical thinking and employers prefer competent people. If you spend your night memorizing for a class and not thinking about the material, you might as well wipe your ass with the money you are spending here. The Student Association and TDX taught me immense amounts about everything from corporate law, to dealing with people, to leadership, to establishing common visions. The Review taught me what true devotion is and what hard work really means. 99% of the credit for restoring and reestablishing the Review from its 2007 shambled state rests with Adam Shamah (hippies: take note of who to blame). It has never been said aloud or stated in print, but the modern Review is Shamah’s CONTINUED ON PAGE 15

HOUSING

The State of Student Housing Positive developments on the West Side by Kate Flatley

n Monday, May 2 the City of Binghamton planning commission held a public forum about zoning changes proposed by the West Side Neighborhood Project. These include four pieces of legislation which are arguably the most student-friendly proposals to make it to the City in at least a decade, and representatives from Binghamton Review and the Student Association were in attendance to voice support. One recommendation deals with the current law on the books referring to a “functional family.” As it stands now, the entire city of Binghamton is subject to the Functional Family criteria; this means that all properties are held to the ambiguous and undefined statute of “functional family.” Those residences that do not meet these criteria can be evicted by the city at any time. Clearly, this presents a monumental issue for students living in the residential areas of Binghamton, as many of their living arrangements could be interpreted as not meeting the required criteria. In fact, in the fast few years, several groups of students have been evicted for just that, most notably at 8 Lincoln Avenue and 63 Helen Street, as reported by Binghamton Review. The West Side Neighborhood Project has requested that the Commission clearly define the criteria for “functional family.” In addition, the second piece of legislation provides a loophole around the functional family criteria in the two higher density residential 8

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districts, R-2 and R-3, where most students currently reside. This recommendation, referred to as the “Co-Tenancy Dwelling Units,” allows homeowners to rent their property to groups of three or more unrelated people via the use of a special permit. The actual definition of a Co-Tenancy Dwelling Unit is outlined in the recommendations as “a building or portion thereof, on a single lot, for occupation by a small number of persons not members of the same family group, sharing a single lease on the unit.” Co-Tenancy will not be allowed in R-1; but, being that next to no students live there, this is still a huge victory for students. The third recommendation is the creation of an Urban Village Overlay District. This will only apply to the Tree Street District, bordered by Chestnut Street and Oak Street and Seminary Avenue and Leroy Street. Imagine a college town we could all actually enjoy: restaurants, shops, bookstores, cafes, and the like – all in the heart of where we live. This is the goal of the overlay district: through the use of design guidelines and less stringent permit requirements permitting developers and entrepreneurs to build on the West Side, students may actually have a town they can be proud to live in someday soon. The final proposal is a rental registry, which would require that all rental properties in residential districts obtain a permit from the City. The City will inspect each rental property every three years to ensure that there are smoke detectors and carbon monoxide detectors MAY 2011

in all the appropriate locations, fire exits, and other necessary safety features. These recommendations, if implemented, would be greatly beneficial to the off-campus student population. The last time anyone discussed any kind of change to the West Side of Binghamton was in 2008, with the creation of Mayor Ryan’s Commission on Housing and Homeownership. The actions of that committee, aimed at ridding the area of students, were troubling to two committee members. As a result, they branched off and formed their own grassroots, community organization known as the West Side Neighborhood Project. Unlike the West Side Neighborhood Association (WSNA), or the “West Side Nazis” as many older Review members often refer to them, the WSNP hopes to reach a solution that please all the stakeholders on the west side, including students. It appears that after years of antistudent initiatives, someone has finally got it right on the west side. The design guidelines can only help student housing; at least student could not be evicted at any given time on the whim of WSNA head Marilyn Desmond or Ken Kamlet. Kamlet, formerly of Mayor Ryan’s Commission on Housing and Homeownership, seems to be supportive of the recommendations after discussing the changes at a City Council work session on April 13. Conveniently, this time around, allowing students to remain in their homes does not threaten the success of any housing projects he, or his clients, may be involved in. (For a more detailed explanation of my sarcasm, see the Review archives from Fall 2008) Not only will students be legally allowed to live on the West Side, with the creation of the Urban Village Overlay district and the rental registry, we may, one day in the future, be able to live in homes that landlords are forced to maintain and in a city where we are proud to reside in— imagine that. B www.binghamtonreview.com

The West Side Story Ten Years of Anti-Student Sentiment in the City of Binghamton MARCH 15, 2000

West Side Neighborhood Association founded.

SEPTEMBER 2004

City Councilman Joe Sanfilippo proposes plan to re-zone students out of the West Side.

DECEMBER 7, 2008

FEBRUARY 9, 2008

AUGUST 15, 2008

OCTOBER 2008

B.U. Professor Marilynn Desmond reports group of students living at 8 Lincoln Ave. Mayor Matthew Ryan personally inspects their house to check for zoning violations. Zoning Board of Appeals rules against students living at 8 Lincoln Ave. Students later evicted. Newman Development Group attorney Ken Kamlet reccommends stricter zoning laws and automatic eviction processes after being appointed to city Housing Comission. Binghamton Review breaks story on Kamlet’s plot. Pipe Dream ignores the issue for months.

APRIL 30, 2009

Housing Commission releases its report reccommending stricter enforcing standards and a renter registration program.

MAY 2009

West Side Neighborhood Project founded

JANUARY 5, 2010

Zoning Board of Appeals rules against students living at 63 Helen Street.

FEBRUARY 5, 2010

Helen Street landlord is ordered by City to begin eviction proceedings, later sues City in court.

APRIL 6, 2010

NYS Supreme Court rules against the City; says students cannot be evicted for violating the City’s zoning ordinance. Appeal pending.

MAY 2, 2011

WSNP presents student-friendly proposals to City planning commission 9

ISRAEL

Happy 63rd

Commentary on the State of Israel by Dov Berkman

n Israel, a teenager in military uniform walking down the street or sitting next to you on a bus is the norm. When I visited Israel, I found that seeing scores of teenagers wearing military uniform sparked a strong emotional response; especially after my visit to Yad Vashem, Israel’s Holocaust museum and memorial. Remembering the tragedy of my people and my family instilled in me deep Jewish pride and support for Israel. To this day writings of Jewish victims of the Shoah (a Hebrew word meaning calamity and used to refer to the Holocaust) continue to surface. In many of these writings, such as those by Mordechai Anielewicz leader of the Warsaw Ghetto uprising, the victims ask their readers to remember their struggle and avenge their torture. Their requests have been heededIsrael’s existence is proof. Israeli Jews can be safe from the threat of extermination and have the power to defend themselves as they see fit. To remember the tragedy is to ensure, through support of the state of Israel, that an event similar to the Holocaust will never happen again. To avenge those who perished in the Shoah Israel does not only bring the living perpetrators to justice, it strives to defeat Hitler’s vision once and for all. It seeks to create a new chapter in the 10

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history of the Jewish people, in which a sovereign Jewish people can be a strong, defensible moral nation in their ancestral homeland. As Harvard Law Professor Alan Dershowitz said, “we had morality on our side during the Second World War, but we didn’t have the ability to defend the Jewish community. Thank God for Israel, thank God for its military, thank God for the ability that we now have to defend our morality!” Israel has honored the memory of Shoah victims by carrying out the mitzvah (commandment) of being an Or lagoyim (a light unto the nations) and constantly striving to help others. Despite obsessive criticism from the international community, Israel sends a disproportionately high level of aid (including physicians, medications, and free care) to impoverished countries. Israel’s emergency response to natural disasters worldwide-from Haiti to Japan-has not been duplicated, and it is the only country in the world that accepts Muslim refugees from the Darfur genocide. Though Israel is not perfect it does strive to correct its mistakes and serve its people with equality. Contrary to the claims of many of Israel’s detractors, the Shoah is not used to excuse Israel’s wrongdoings. Academics such as Anna Baltzer and Norman Finkelstein tour college campuses making that

claim; but the accusation is baseless and designed to undermine the legitimacy of Israel’s right to selfdefense. Rather than being the reason Israel exists, the Shoah is evidence of the necessity of Israel to the Jewish people. The upcoming anniversary of Israel’s founding is a time for celebration, a time for commemorating the defiance, survival, and success of the Jewish people, even in the face of those who would destroy us. Happy 63rd birthday, Israel! May you continue to be a tribute to those we have lost by serving those who still live. B

MAY 2011

UNI SPYING

The Evil Telescreen

BU’s invasive plan to spy on students by Kate Flatley

arly this month, the Student Association Vice President for Academic Affair’s office became aware that the administration tried to pull a fast one on us. Apparently, Harpur College is planning to implement the compulsory use of a site called “ProctorU” for students taking distance learning classes over the winter and summer sessions. This policy is set to come into effect this summer. According to ProctorU’s website, their proctors monitor students while they are taking online exams via a webcam. After learning more about the program, I realized that this would be extremely detrimental to students on several levels. First and foremost, it is a required subscription and is extremely costly endeavor for many students, costing $22.50 per exam, per class. This fee is paid out of pocket, in addition to textbook fees and the initial cost of taking the class. This is a huge invasion of privacy. ProctorU allows random employees to watch you while you take an exam. ProctorU requires that before you begin the exam, you turn your webcam around and allow the proctor to survey your entire workspace you are taking the exam in. If you had anything in your room you intended to keep private, expect a random stranger to see it. Your online proctor’s vision goes further; ProctorU has access to live stream of your computer’s activities. ProctorU even makes it impossible for students to go to the bathroom during an exam. Not only is this method more stringent than the conditions of current classroom exams, it probably could make the most disciplined North Korean student cringe before its monolithic injustice. In an institution of higher learning, is it too much to ask that we use the honor code as a means of ensuring academic integrity? After all, students have been caught cheating on online exams before and sanctioned for doing so. It must not be that easy www.binghamtonreview.com

to cheat on distance learning exams, considering the many anti-plagiarism programs used in online proctoring sites. Furthermore, almost every major university in the country now offers online courses; however, not a single Ivy League or SUNY school is currently using ProctorU. In fact, some of the clients ProctorU boasts of include the Aerobic and Fitness Association of America and Troy University. This is not exactly the company Binghamton University typically keeps. Rest assured that this policy will not be enacted without a fight. The student delegates of Harpur College Council are prepared to call an emergency meeting of the Council if it is necessary to do so. With 32% of the vote in the hands of the students, it is reasonable to assume we can protect campus from this ridiculous policy. We will keep you updated as things change. B 11

BIN LADEN

Campus Rallies Around Bin Laden’s Death

by Eric Larson

hortly before midnight on Sunday May 1st a small group of Binghamton students decided to go for a walk with a megaphone to spread the news of Osama Bin Laden’s death. What happened in the following minutes was nothing short of amazing. What started out as a small group of fewer than ten, turned into a joyful and patriotic crowd of nearly seven hundred. A loud and energized mass encircled the campus; singing the national anthem, waving flags, and chanting a boisterous cry of “U.S.A”. The night was filled with champagne, fireworks, and pride. I found that some of the responses to this display of jubilation were far from what I would have expected. So many of my friends’ and family members’ sentiments were not of satisfaction, but rather disapproval. Several quoted Martin Luther King saying that they would not celebrate death, even the death of their enemy. Several 12

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more feared retaliation, warning that this would not be the end of terrorism, but that it would simply bring on a vicious cycle of hate. They condemned rallies across America as juvenile and indicative of participants lacking a true understanding of the situation. In a sense, I suppose they may be partially right. I thought back to what started it all, how we came to get where we were, and why I had been standing in a rally mere hours before. Critics of the war on terror said we were fighting an unwinnable war because we could never know who our enemy was. We made war on an ideology, not a people or a government. Tensions arose from these disagreements, lines were drawn, and America found itself once again fighting against not only injustices around the world, but with itself. Then the memory of the rally came rushing back to mind. I MAY 2011

was marching with people I had never met before, brought together by the same cause. The members of that rally represented every race, religion, and political party found across the country. For a mere two and a half hours, people from every background stood together, united in mind, spirit, and presence. So in response to those who condemned the actions taken by rally participants, I say you are missing the point. That night was a night to remember and honor those who lost their lives in the terrorist attacks of 9/11, and the soldiers who have died defending the thin bubble of civilization which we take for granted daily; a bubble which, thankfully, has not burst under the pressures of our time. That night was to celebrate a milestone accomplishment by our country; and even though we only removed the face of terrorism, for a brief moment as President Obama said in his address, justice has been dealt. Most important of all though, that night was a night of realization. We fight an unknowable foreign enemy across the seas in the Middle East. An extreme and almost invisible minority of that population plots our destruction, and it is those extremes that we are fighting. However, as is the nature of any logical idea, its contrapositive must also exist. If we are fighting an enemy which is unknowable, then it is those who are unknown that are our enemy. This idea sheds light not just on the war across the seas, but also the tensions that separate us domestically every day. This rally brought with it an awareness of our domestic issues: how many of us truly know our fellow Americans, let alone the people we interact with on this campus? If Bin Laden’s death did nothing else but give an opportunity for people around the world to understand each other and provide each other the courtesy of decency that comes with unity, then it is truly a cause for celebration. We celebrate not just the end of one foreign enemy, but the reinvigoration of the bonds that unite us as Americans, and the subsequent conversion of thousands of domestic enemies into the common citizen. B www.binghamtonreview.com

Out with the Old...

Why the United States must remain vigilant by Joseph Aguiar

hen Al Qaeda first began operations during the late 1980s, it branched out of an Islamist jihad movement that was exclusively focused on what is known as the “near enemy.” That is, secular and apostate leaders of majority-Muslim nations. The goal of these organizations, most notably the mujahedeen in Afghanistan, was to cleanse Muslim lands of innovation and apostasy. Al Qaeda (literally, “the base” in Arabic) would continue this tradition of purging Muslim lands, except its focus would shift to the so-called “far enemy:” the United States and its western allies. Under the guidance of the charismatic Osama Bin Laden and the idealistic Ayman al-Zawahiri, Al Qaeda transformed militant Islamism from a mysterious band

of fanatics operating far away from the United States’ homeland into a global pariah representing a clear and present danger to Western security. On September 10 2001, Osama Bin Laden was well known by the national security establishment but was nothing more than an obscure Arab guerrilla to almost everyone else. On September 11, he became public enemy number one. However, his importance to the movement has always been overstated, at least during the last ten years. The death of Osama Bin Laden will boost the morale of our troops and will cost Al Qaeda its most important member, but this struggle is far from over and those that would rush to call this total victory are mistaken. Al Qaeda’s narrative reached

RALLY critical mass a long time ago and will survive the death of its founding father. Bin Laden’s call for the Muslim world to launch a defensive jihad against the United States has been clearly articulated and reiterated many times during the last fifteen years and is now bigger than its author himself. It no longer needs its creator to be sustained. To paraphrase Pontius Pilate, Bin Laden has written what he has written. It has been a long time since Al Qaeda’s foot soldiers have taken their marching orders from the provocative Yemeni, and the organization has franchises located in safe havens such as Yemen and the Islamic Maghreb. Unfortunately for the West, Bin Laden’s goal of establishing a solid base has been accomplished. Had Bin Laden died in the

1990s, Al Qaeda very well may have never evolved into what it is today. But now that his movement has metastasized completely into a solid core of loyal supporters who are committed to his vision, his death is hardly a setback. In fact, it is exactly what he would have wanted; a man that holds martyrdom as the greatest honor in life cannot be deterred by the threat of assassination. While the United States has finally exacted revenge on its greatest enemy, its sudden surge of disingenuous patriotism is surpassed only by the genuine admiration Al Qaeda grunts now feel for their martyred imam. Islam itself survived the death of Muhammad, Communism survived the death of Marx, Christianity survived the death of

St. Paul, and Al Qaeda will carry on without the moral guidance of Osama Bin Laden. In the end, the events of May 1st proved Michael Corleone correct: you really can kill any man. But it also proved that the pen is mightier than the sword. Bin Laden’s message was always destined to outlast its author and the United States must realize that Al Qaeda is still very much alive and that its call to jihad still resonates with many of the world’s Muslims. We must never lose sight of the fact that this is a battle for public opinion and that Western values are not inherently opposed to Islamic ones. By our words and deeds, the United States must strive to prevent the very real possibility that Bin Laden could take more lives in death than he ever did in life. B

Sorry, we’re from

BINGHAMTON REVIEW. We didn’t realize campus publications were supposed to suck. We’ll be back in the fall. Have a great summer! While you’re away, stay up to date on the issues that matter at www.binghamtonreview.com or www.facebook.com/binghamtonreview

BINGHAMTON REVIEW

MAY 2011

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 7 product. According to former editor-in-chief Lou Leonini, our editorial group was “the best there has ever been.” 99% of it was Adam. Working under someone so devoted also teaches one about their own inadequacies and how to strive for more. Good company will save your life. This place is dark nine months of the year with either snow, rain or some other form of precipitation not yet discovered. If you have any sensitivity to the seasons, like me, you will lose your mind every year when winter comes and it will remain lost for its duration. Having people you can trust and who will have your back makes this place more emotionally tolerable. “All the leaves are brown / And the

sky is grey / I’ve been for a walk / On a winters day / I’d be safe and warm / If I was in L.A. / California dreamin / On such a winters day.” You are not in California. Compensate for it. Mike Lombardi, Tom Stofko, Adam Shamah, and Dan Rabinowitz made this place tolerable. Who is making Binghamton a good experience for you? Fear is the most important human emotion. It keeps us from doing really stupid shit like sleeping with a clearly diseased chick you picked up in 30 seconds at last call in the Ra...Scoreboard. However, fear also stops people from becoming great. The idea of coming to college is to break into new experiences, challenge expectations, and to make mistakes.

Messing up is essential to learning and college. The thought of failure should never prevent someone from trying at this place. If fear, at any point prevents you from trying something new, then that itself is a mistake to learn from. As I sign off, I hope my advice has reached at least a few of you. For better or worse, we are all here and working on a common goal of self-improvement. I wish everyone who has the intelligence to pick up this publication and read its pages the best in their endeavors. Upwards, onwards, and forwards. Huzzah and off to law school! Thank you for your readership. B Randal Meyer is a graduating senior and was managing editor of the Review from 2008-2010. 15

EUROPE

Happy Anniversary, Belgium! One year without a government is a true accomplishment by Mark Soriano

n April 26, 2011, Belgium achieved a full year without a full and functioning government. Since the collapse of the last coalition more than a year ago, the leaders of Belgium’s various political parties have been engaged in prolonged negotiations over the formation of a government, leaving the state without a legitimate prime minister, cabinet, or parliament. In a country known for coalition failure and a revolving door to the prime minister’s office, this year of failure is a particular accomplishment. Perhaps now the people of Belgium will understand that their country’s very existence is the root of its own dysfunction, and that it should not be around anymore. A province of the Hapsburg Empire prior to the French Revolution, Belgium went through more than twenty years of French rule under various revolutionary governments and Napoleon. In 1815, the Congress of Vienna awarded the territory to an expanded Kingdom of the Netherlands, in an attempt to create a strong state to France’s north to dispel future aggression by the defeated nation after Napoleon’s rampage. In 1830, the French speaking Catholics of southern Belgium revolted against their Dutch king, and within a year an independent Belgium emerged under the rule of King Leopold I. For the rest of the 19th century, Belgium worked to settle into the European diplomatic scene, acquiring an African colony in the Congo and declaring official neutrality. After various occupations by Germany, the state emerged in the latter half of the 20th century as a core member of the European Community, and later the European Union. After which it became home to the headquarters of many of the world’s international organizations. Belgium today is a bizarre mix of various ethnicities and languages, dominated by the Flemish Dutch speakers of the north and the Walloon French speakers of the south, with a sizable German speaking minority in the east. The state is split into two large administrative regions, Flanders and Wallonia, 16

BINGHAMTON REVIEW

with significant governmental powers devolved to the regional level, similar to the way power is shared by the state and federal governments in the United States. However, in Belgium, unlike the U.S., the central government and parliament do not benefit by a shared dominant language, and are rendered useless because of the animosity between the two rival ethnicities. In Belgium, all laws must be printed in multiple languages, and debate in parliament is often affected by language barriers or biases. Political parties appeal to ethnicity and language over ideology and political opinion. At the center of the Belgium comedy of failure is King Albert II, reigning since 1993 over an increasingly poisonous political environment. The King has played a prominent role in Belgium’s politics since the collapse of the government a year ago, attempting to further negotiations and reassure the population that a solution will be found. However, it is clear that the state cannot be salvaged. In a country referred to as “an accident of history” by its own caretaker prime minister, Yves Leterme, unifying factors like religion and language a r e absent, and where ethnicities separate themselves by region, unity seems irrational, undesirable, and harmful. The Belgian economy runs at two different speeds, with Flanders’ advanced service and manufacturing sectors pushing the region far beyond agrarian Wallonia. Many northerners despair that their tax dollars go in part to helping the south catch up, while southerners rage over income inequality. Belgium’s parlous finances have resulted from decades of unfunded social welfare schemes, similar to those all over Western Europe. However, in Belgium, weak (and absent) governments have been unable to solve the state’s fiscal mess, while their national debt approaches 100% of GDP. And the MAY 2011

last thing the European Union and global financial markets need is another bailout of a national economy. Belgium’s problems are well known, but the trick is finding a solution. One possibility is that Belgium would split apart into two independent countries, Wallonia and Flanders, with the German speaking chunk being ceded to Germany. The foundations for this solution already largely exist, as the two regions already enjoy autonomy from the central government, and provide most of the government services their people enjoy. Another possibility is Flanders, Wallonia and the German region being ceded into the Netherlands, France and Germany, respectively, thereby uniting the various groups of Belgium with people who speak their same language. In either case, Belgium’s multi-ethnic/religious/cultural dysfunction would yield to the creation or expansion of nation states with significant linguistic, historic, and societal unity. The problem is, two obstacles stand in the way of a solution: the Belgian capital city, Brussels, and the national monarchy. The fracturing of Belgium would result in a fight over Brussels, where most citizens speak French despite its location within Dutch-speaking Flanders. The city could not easily be divided, and if it were, the connections to Cold War era Berlin would be too much for European sensibilities. Perhaps this can be solved by ceding the city to the European Union, turning it into a political unit for the European Union

comparable to Washington, D.C. for the United States. This solution may be the best, seeing as the European Union is already largely based in Brussels, and the fight to fairly divide or apportion the city to the remnants of Belgium would be otherwise unsolvable. Secondly, in the event that the various parts of the kingdom were annexed by surrounding countries, poor King Albert II would suddenly find himself without a throne. And if the state broke into two independent countries, would he be king of just one, or both? As unfortunate as it may be to see this unpopular king tossed off his throne, it would be unwise for the people of Belgium to mortgage their future in order to maintain their vestigial monarch. Belgium is an example of the failure of ethnic, linguistic, and cultural diversity. Not far away in the Alps is Switzerland, which flaunts itself as the functioning, competent comparison to the state model Belgium is failing at. The Swiss are composed of four linguistic groups, united by common values, a shared history, and a functioning government. The multi-ethnic state structure is clearly workable, just not in Belgium. Sooner or later, negotiations will likely result in a new government in Belgium, but this must not be seen as a victory for the unified state. Hopefully, a new government will understand that the country it governs must be removed from the global family of nations, for the benefit of the people.B

Great Moments in Liberalism “Who knew we had hundreds of fascists on our campus. Makes me sick.” -David Frey, president of EMO/SAC, in reference to the campus rally celebrating America’s victory over Bin Laden

www.binghamtonreview.com

EUROPE

Church Versus State?

Europe torn on issue of Islamic extremism by Aaron Ricks

eginning April 11th, the French government led by President Nicholas Sarkozy began enforcing a ban on the wearing of both the burqa – a full veil with lace to cover the eyes, and the niqab – a full veil leaving a slit for the eyes. In an address to the parliament on France on June 22, 2009, President Sarkozy declared: “The burqa is not a religious sign. It is a sign of the subjugation, of the submission, of women.” While Sarkozy may profess to be upholding the rights of women in France, his actions are brutal and unbecoming of a free society. To Americans, the issue of Muslim head-garb has never become a serious political issue. In Europe however, the influx of legal and illegal immigrants from Islamic countries has become a talking point. Far-right politicians across the continent seek to score political points by exploiting fear of the growing Islamic population in Europe. The numbers speak volumes on their own, even before political interpretations are thrown into the mix. According to a 2009 Pew report, only 0.8% of Americans identified

BINGHAMTON REVIEW

themselves as Muslims. Compare that to Europe, where aging populations, low birthrates, and the aforementioned immigration issues have led to Muslims to being a striking 5.2% of the population. What does the banning of the traditional head-dress have to do with upholding the liberal, democratic values that Sarkozy seeks to enforce? At the Munich Defense Conference on 5 February 2011, British Prime Minister David Cameron had this to say regarding Islam: “If they want an example of how Western values and Islam can be entirely compatible, they should look at what’s happened in the past few weeks on the streets of Tunis and Cairo. Hundreds of thousands of people demanding the universal right to free elections and democracy. The point is this: the ideology of extremism is the problem. Islam, emphatically, is not.” What Europe is missing is a key piece of collective identity that America has spent over 200 years developing as a result of our own experience with immigration from people all over Europe and the world. Under the guise of state multiculturalism, Europe has ceased to espouse and promote the values that America and the West has shed blood in two world wars to protect: Democratic governance, liberty, freedom of speech and worship, the rule of law, and equality before the state regardless of race or sex. Until recently, Europe has become passively tolerant towards the western society which it helped create. As PM Cameron went on to say: “A genuinely liberal country does much more. It believes in certain values and actively promotes them.” In its attempt to actively promote Western-democratic values, France has opted for a brutish approach: to specifically target Muslims and strip them of the right to worship as they see fit. Instead of providing an identity that peoples of all creeds can get behind, France has gone down a path that will only isolate a substantial part of their own population. The causes of Europe’s woes cannot simply be explained by cries of “Islamophobia.” It is essentially facing a crisis of identity unlike any America has ever faced. While the countries of Europe may be old, many of their governments and national identities were formed only after the Second World War. MAY 2011

Contrast that to the United States, whose constitution and flexible identity has proceeded relatively uninterrupted since 1787. This has allowed America to be flexible, centering its culture around incoming immigrants from all over the world. And we have, for the most part, eventually embraced all of them for dedicating themselves to making America better as a whole in their pursuit of happiness. But let me be clear: the United States and European countries should not and cannot allow themselves to become complacent and passive towards the cultures of citizens living within their borders. Fathers beheading their daughters for improper dress, children living in hiding from their parents after converting away from Islam under the threat of death, and so-called “honor killings” are just two examples of practices we can all agree that Western, democratic governments cannot tolerate. A free society must allow its citizens to carry out their lives within the bounds of the law based on the right of the individual to live free from coercion. If the goal is to combat and defeat Islamic extremism, then the West must combat extremist Islamic ideology with an idea of its own. It must confront the issues of identity that radically warps the minds of young Muslims by providing an alternative identity that all people of good conscience can get behind, and provide a civic, www.binghamtonreview.com

rather than an ethnic sense of nationhood. In the wake of the death of the world’s most infamous radical Islamic terrorist, Osama bin Laden, it must be remembered that Americans suffered the loss of almost 3,000 fellow citizens, regardless of their religious affiliation. Terrorists inspired by Islamic extremism are responsible for the loss of the lives of people all over the world: London, Madrid, Bali, Mumbai, and of course, New York City. But young minds around the world will continue to be persuaded by extremist leaders until the Western world can provide an alternative ideology to violent extremism. The policy of state multiculturalism has failed, this much is true. We can no longer passively tolerate cultures that are in direct opposition to that of liberty and justice under law. The Muslim community is not the cause of Islamic extremism, but rather part of the solution. Isolating Muslims will serve only to incite further hatred towards the West. The West has to provide an alternative idea, and create and sense of belonging to the society as a whole, instead of their tiny religious or ethnic group. As David Cameron went on to conclude: “This ideology crosses continents – we are all in this together. At stake are not just our lives, it’s our way of life. That’s why this is a challenge we cannot avoid – and one we must meet.” B 19

PEOPLE

The Enemies List See Who’s Been Condemned Phil Calderon Fake Student, Felon When we met him, he made this list for being a crony of SA liberals, the corrupt president of the Rainbow Pride Union, and an all-around sketchy person. Today, he makes this list for being a 38-year old convicted felon who posed as a student and sexually abused several college-aged boys. Never doubt our judgement of character again! Pipe Dream Fish Wrap In addition to achieving mediocrity, misquoting, taking quotes out of context, and not being much more than a compilation of AP and University press releases, they also endorsed Phil Calderon for Vice President for Finance. However, they will probably win another award this year for “journalistic excellence.” Their editor-in-chief is the Wicked Witch of the West Union. The leak in their ceiling was a plot by us to spill water on her and end her evil reign. Although, calling Pipe Dream reporters her flying evil monkeys is the most appropriate part of the analogy. City of Binghamton Welfare Town Gone Mad Besides having an idiot mayor, over-funded welfare projects, dilapidated city infrastructure, a whopping total of about 10 bars in the area, shitty food, mean and ugly townies, a welfare office on Main Street, an incompetent city council, a disdain for its only source of revenue, a police force that’s the equivalent of a brute squad, and less money in the bank than NYPIRG, Binghamton still hasn’t solved the problem with those thousands of white bugs that coat the entire city over summer and the start of the year. Just give up already. 20

BINGHAMTON REVIEW

Save Our SUNY Hippies + Government = Failure After drafting plans to turn the Student Association into a collective, use student money to lobby against Wall Street, and ban all forms of personal hygiene on campus, the Save our SUNY candidates spared the student body a nightmare with their lackluster campaigning skills. At the end of the day, they are lazy pot-head hippies who don’t want to go through the effort of doing anything but whining and hugging trees. NYPIRG Thieves Hands down, the worst group on campus. This is a collection of socially awkward and incompetent people who view themselves as “cool hipsters” fighting the man. Congratulations guys, you have years of working in environmentalist not-for-profit firms to look forward to as a career choice. NYPIRG consistently makes budget requests to the Student Association for $85,000 for one person’s salary. This group’s model is not worth a dime, let along $85,000, but the same delusional people who think of themselves as likable will continue to request it and then annoy us with stupid coal petitions. Professor Marilyn Desmond West Side Nazi Consistently tries to rid the West Side of Binghamton of students even though her job security depends on their presence. If WSNA is Nazi Germany, she is Heinrich Himmler. She vill check your licenze platez!!! But seriously, this is Binghamton, so any collection of three unrelated students is bound to contain 2.9 Jews on average, and she MAY 2011

clearly wants to put them in Newman-made camps to “concentrate” the student population.

Sam Sussman Harvey Milk

Multicultural Groups Entitled

Sam is the self-proclaimed successor to Harvey Milk as the champion of American Gay Rights. He hated America’s conservative values so much he moved to David Cameron’s England, the most conservative government in the West. During his first year at BU, Sam Sussman got his first bit of bad press on our last Enemies List. He reacted by pissing on a stack of our issues (which contained pro-gay rights articles). Following this he walked up to our managing editor, shook his hand, and threateningly informed him of his urinary excursion and that he didn’t wash his hands after. Enjoy our photographic evidence below; we can’t wait to see what he does this year!

They have proven that playing the race card and loudly saying absurd things in the face of white guilt can get you everything you want. BSU has two large offices, JUMP still has money, and the VPMA (see VPMA) is under its fourth consecutive year of “revamping” under the auspices of the 11th VPMA in the last six years. VPMA Our Eternal Enemy Once on the Enemies list, always on the Enemies list. It used to be racist. Now it is just defunct. Jenna Goldin Executive Hippie at Large Last year, we stated her office would represent girl power. It now represents the reason women should stay in basic secretarial jobs. The glass ceiling is made to prevent people like her from ever becoming a real vice president in an actual corporation. Brian Rose Vice President for Schemes and Evil Plotting He’s a schemer. He comes to the community council meetings; Reslife pressures the Council to ask questions; then he dodges the questions and leaves while somehow impressing the crowd with his presence. Meanwhile, the intelligent people are sick of this essentially masturbatory effort at “reaching out to students.” Jennifer Jensen Atop the Ivory Tower She made this list for attempting to violate the privacy of students under the guise of increasing academic integrity via mandatory use of Proctor U software. Proctor U would have enabled any students webcam for a third party to watch every student in a distance learning class during lecture and testing. She tried to get away with this by being shady and filling an ad-hoc committee with RAs and kids that work in the Dean of Students’ Office. This is not Airstrip 1 in Oceania, Jen, this is BU. www.binghamtonreview.com

Sunni Solomon Director of Obstacles for Greek Life BU’s New Greek Life Advisor. His plans include the following: dry first week next year (yes that means no frat parties for freshmen when they come here), and more “respectful” party fliers. (1) All fliers for frat parties are protected by first amendment rights, so frats can just ignore him. (2) All his party policy will do is drive up the price of fake ID’s and hurt recruitment for Greek Life. He is by far the worst low-level administrator on campus. He does the job of Grace Hoefner with the intrusiveness of Jennifer Jensen and the foresight of Brian Rose. University PD Harassment of students, inconsistent enforcement, ticketing gone wild, never-ending speed traps, power complexes, etc. Everyone besides Officer Torres is a douche. University Administration

PEOPLE

Don’t think we didn’t notice you removing paper towels from campus bathrooms as part of our “green effort.” This has lead to nothing but fewer students washing their hands and blowing their noses. As usual, your well-intended decisions have only made our campus a more disgusting and despicable place. Aaron Cohn

“wide variety of flavors” at Jazzmans in the Union Student Groups Moes Chipotle is coming. Run and hide. Townies

As vice president for programming, his job is to schedule entertainment for students. The SA gave him tens of thousands of extra dollars this year for the sole purpose of not sucking at his job. After flubbing on Wiz Khalifa, Lady Gaga, Weezer, and countless other awesome acts, he sent out surveys to ask us which shitty acts we wanted. He then responded to those surveys by ignoring them and picking such treasures as Andy Samberg, Taking Back Sunday, and the Far East Movement. We have to recognize though, that even Aaron was not incompetent enough to pass on Drake. People Complaining About the Patriotic Rally You can not equate terrorists celebrating on 9/11 to Americans celebrating the killing of Osama Bin Laden. We’re celebrating the death of a man that killed 3,000 people. They were celebrating the slaughter of 3,000 innocent people. We’re not celebrating the death of a person; we’re celebrating the slaying of a monster! We were having moments of silence for the people that perished on the horrible day and the soldiers lost. They were burning American flags and calling for more innocent blood to be spilt.

ON NOTICE Better Watch Yo’Self Kate Flatley She will put an 8x11 of Clinton in the SA Office. We must hate her for that. EMO/SAC Start printing like a real paper again, please; without a decently circulated hippie publication we have no idea what to presswatch anymore...we started dignifying Prospect in your absence! Come back to us!

The Rat Tosh.0 We feel a liberal slant is coming. But to date, the show is just hilarious. Aaron Ricks We are terrified of putting a minority with a history of oppression in charge of the Review. Seriously, he is a Mormon whose family was chased to Salt Lake City as runaway Mexican slaves. Ask him! He can’t deny it! Binghamton Tour Guides You all lie to potential students to convince them this place is nice. It sucks. You know it sucks. We know it sucks. You just sell out other people’s happiness for money. Also, see RAs. Liz Robins Jenna 2.0. Enough said. Judicial Board They sided with NYPIRG...and then completely reversed their decision. Stare Decisis, morons. The British Cameron is cool, but the Royal Wedding was extremely gay. Q Mag Are you guys still printing or was “alone time with Phil” your only way of intimidating writers into getting articles in on time? Student Assembly What do these guys do again?

Jenna Goldin and Katie Howard All the things she said...

RA’s Snitches get stitches, son

Sodexo Your coffee all tastes the same. Stop trying to say there is a

Frats, Whororities & Sorostitutes

BINGHAMTON REVIEW

MAY 2011

INTRODUCTIONS

Changing of the Guard

his month marks the end of my second year at Binghamton University. Although only a sophomore, I have enjoyed a wide variety of experiences, ranging from my time as treasurer and president of C.I.W.’s Area Wide Council, to working as an assistant in VPF Adam Shamah’s office, and my studies in history and political science. Next year I will begin my tenure as Managing Editor of the Binghamton Review, ready for the challenges and opportunities this new job will offer me. I will work together with Editor-in-Chief Ricks and the entire Review staff to maintain this publication’s devotion to conservative causes, student rights, and campus issues. In addition, I will promote a focus on my particular areas of interest, fiscal discipline, student advocacy, and history. I hope to use my experience as head of a community to the benefit of this paper, its readership, and the campus in general. “The last refuge of scholars” is a Binghamton Review slogan that I wish to make this publications focus. While promoting conservative views, I will avoid fiery rhetoric and provocative grandstanding to maintain the Review as Binghamton University’s premier medium for constructive satire, reasonable debate, and sensible advocacy. B Mark Soriano Managing Editor 2011-2012

he Binghamton Review has historically been the campus’ premier publication of political and social discourse. Although this semester marks the end of my first year at Binghamton University, the current executive board of the Review has taught me how to balance their love of satire with a genuine concern with the rights of students on and off campus. I am confident that the incoming staff of the Review will maintain the publication’s dedication to good reporting and journalism on current and historical events on the campus, in the nation and the world. The Binghamton Review was created in 1987 by two Russian expatriates that left the Communist EasternBloc in search of a better life, academic freedom, and www.binghamtonreview.com

Welcome the Review’s Incoming Staff Editor-in-Chief - Aaron Ricks

Managing Editor - Mark Soriano Copy Desk Chief - Eric Larson Associate Editor - Rachel Gordon Layout Editor - Chris Formisano Review Democrats Kate Flatley, John Ewing Liaison to the Tea Party Nick Fondacaro

political/economic liberty, hence the motto of the Review glaring at readers on the top of the broadsheetnewspaper in 1987: “Working for a Free World.” While the Review comes off as abrasive to some, the mission statement of the Review has remained largely the same since 1987: “We stand against tyranny in all its forms, both on campus and beyond.” I honestly believe that the Binghamton Review has a large role to play in the safety and freedoms of Binghamton’s students. Our published work on WestSide student housing evictions, attempts by academic administrators to invade the privacy of students, and the state of free-speech on campus is absolutely unprecedented on our campus. And as the old guard of the Review moves on to greener pastures, I can only offer my sincerest thanks to the quality publication that the departing Review staff has created. And I only hope that I can follow in their steps. B Aaron Ricks Editor-in-Chief 2011-2012 23

Recently, the Review queried sixty-nine graduating seniors as to what was the most valuable lesson they learned at BU. Here are some of the more humorous responses: 1. How to take exams properly (collaboration) because there is no I in team. 2. The useful things that one can buy with daddy’s credit card. 3. Binghamton should be immediately reclassified as an arctic rain forest. Science department, take note. 4. Looking both ways when crossing the road is now optional. On campus, anyway. 5. If the entire world consisted of hippies, soap would cease to exist. 6. Current students should immediately transfer to SOM. It will be the best decision they ever made. 7. The Rat is a great place to pick up women, oh wait, about that... 8. Multiple foreign language dictionaries will be needed to interact with the various TAs encountered during one’s BU career.

So long Binghamton. It’s been fun. We’ll catch ya on the flip side.