BINGHAMTON REVIEW Editor-in-Chief Contents
P.O. BOX 6000 BINGHAMTON, NY 13902-6000 EDITOR@BINGHAMTONREVIEW.COM
Founded 1987 • Volume 0000, Issue 00 Tommy Gagliano
Managing Editor Brian Murray Copy Desk Chief Matt Gagliano
Business Manager Joe Badalamenti
Social Media Shitposters Lacey Kestecher, Sebastian Roman
Editor Emeritus
Patrick McAuliffe Jr.
Graphic Designers
Sebastian Roman, Tommy Gagliano
Staff Writers
Bryn Lauer, Jon Lizak, Joe Dorn, Kevin Vorrath, Madeline Perez
Contributors
Dillon O’Toole, Isaac Levine, Robert Thomicide, Kris Kringle, Musclini, Eyewitness Isaac, Nerdicus Maximus, A. Townie, Harold Rook
Special Thanks To:
CHAOS ON THE SPINE
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by Eyewitness Isaac
Editorial by Tommy Gagliano Press Watch by Our Staff The New Alt-Right by Harold Rook Midterm Report Card by Our Staff What if Naughty Kids Want Coal? by Kris Kringle
10 Earth Needs About Tree Fiddy by Patrick McAuliffe 11 Di(n)vestigating Bing by Robert Thomicide & Nerdicus Maximus 12 Guide to the Area by A. Townie & Isaac Levine by Musclini 14 REPENT 15 Rock is Dead by Dillon O’Toole
Intercollegiate Studies Institute Collegiate Network Binghamton Review was printed by Gary Marsden We Provide the Truth. He Provides the Staples
TELL US WHAT YOU THINK! Direct feedback to editor@binghamtonreview.com 2
BINGHAMTON REVIEW
Vol. XXXII, Issue V
EDITORIAL Dear Readers,
From the Editor
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ow, is it really the end of the semester already? I’m not sure about you all, but for me the semester has flown by. As this is our last issue of the semester, we combined three of our annual themes into one. Welcome to the Thanksgiving-Christmas-Dog issue. The dogs, of course, are to help you de-stress as finals are rapidly approaching. For an issue with three themes, most of the content seems to lack any kind of connection to any of them. Not to worry though! This is not because our staff did a mediocre job, but rather because they had such great ideas that we had to publish them, despite straying from the themes. Let’s get into what we have in store for you this time around. If you need an immedite dose of relaxing dog imagery, go straight to page 8. Our staff ’s adorable doggos will provide exactly the calming effect you need as you study for your final exams. As you’re probably aware, shit went down on the spine last week. Eyewitness Isaac was there, and he has decided to share what he saw with the Review audience. His piece, titled “Chaos on the Spine,” describes exactly what happened between the protestors and the College Republicans and Turning Point USA event organizers. In a similar vein, Robert Thomicide and Nerdicus Maximus team up to share their thoughts on Divest Bing, a prominent Binghamton University student activist group, in their article “Di(n)vestigating Bing.” Editor Emeritus Patrick McAuliffe returns yet again, with “Earth Needs About Tree Fiddy.” He dsicusses Mr. Beast’s “Team Trees” initiative and explores the legitimacy of the organization tasked with carrying out Mr. Beast’s plan. We know you don’t read the other campus publications (and we definitely don’t blame you), so every issue we fill you in on what you may have missed with our Campus Presswatch. As the semester is now nearly over, we took it a step further this issue, and provided you with asemester report card for every publication. The grades may surprise you! In addition to the semester coming to an end, the decad is as well. Dillon O’Toole looks back on the music of the music of the 2010s, and explores whether the common phrase “rock is dead” actually holds water. A. Townie and Isaac Levine, two students who live locally, are tired of downstate students complaining that Binghamton is boring, empty, and sad. They attempt to rebut this (correct) sentiment by discussing all of the fun things one can do in the Binghamton area in “Guide to the Area.” I’m running out of space, so let’s start the speed round! Kris Kringle decided that he had to be the one to stick to the Thanksgiving-Christmas-Dog theme, and he attempts to answer a great question - what happens if a naughty kid asks for coal for Christmas? Musclini returns, and suggests that people should reconsider their lifestyle choices. Harold Rook discusses the “Groypers,” a new limb of the alt-right. Thank you, readers, for all of your support this semester. Our readership levels are off the charts, and knowing that people enjoy what we do makes all of the work worthwhile. Good luck on finals and have a great winter break. Sincerely,
Tommy Gagliano Binghamton Review is a non-partisan, student-run news magazine of conservative thought founded in 1987 at Binghamton University. A true liberal arts education expands a student’s horizons and opens one’s mind to a vast array of divergent perspectives. The mark of true maturity is being able to engage with these perspectives rationally while maintaining one’s own convictions. In that spirit, we seek to promote the free and open exchange of ideas and offer alternative viewpoints not normally found or accepted on our predominately liberal campus. We stand against tyranny in all of its forms, both on campus and beyond. We believe in the principles set forth in this country’s Declaration of Independence and seek to preserve the fundamental tenets of Western civilization. It is our duty to expose the warped ideology of political correctness and cultural authoritarianism that dominates this university. Finally, we understand that a moral order is a necessary component of any civilized society. We strive to inform, engage with, and perhaps even amuse our readers in carrying out this mission.
Views expressed by writers do not necessarily represent the views of the publication as a whole. editor@binghamtonreview.com
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CPampus resswatch ‘No justice, no peace’: Group gathers to support student arrested for taking down Birthright International advertisements Kimberly Gonzalez, Pipe Dream, 11/11/19 “...student groups at BU are protesting the organization, arguing that it is a threat to people seeking helpful clinics, presenting pregnancy options with an anti-abortion view and misleading the public with their advertisements and website.” Birthright International advertises their services on their website. Expecting anything other than their explicit services, such as abortion, means you did not bother to even look the website up. These are services you seek out willingly; you will not be threatened for going to Planned Parenthood instead. “‘Because the posters have become more robustly secured, they are now laminated and posted behind glass, it is clear that UPD hopes to punish active students of color in order to protect financial interests.’” It is clear that breaking the law has consequences, and being of a certain skin color does not give you a pass. “Multiple faculty members have also shown support for the activists.” Those faculty members are cowards and should not be trusted. Four day workweeks are the future of the job market Michael Levinstein, Pipe Dream, 11/11/19 “The productivity of American workers has increased, and yet we have not seen an equal increase in hourly compensation. If we aren’t going to regulate wealth so it all can’t be held by business owners, it’s time to consider cutting the workweek by one day.” Standards of living, however, have increased drastically. A smartphone in nearly everyone’s pocket is just the latest in a long series of Ameri-
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Written by our Staff
We know you don’t read the other campus publications, so we did it for you. Original pieces are in quotes, our responses are in bold.
cans’ growing wealth. Shortening the workweek, especially through legal mandates, would also be unfair to business owners, particularly owners of small businesses. “Surprisingly, lowering workweek hours is not only accomplished through government intervention — it has happened in the private sector, too...This past August, Microsoft concluded a month long four-day workweek experiment in Japan that showed a 39.9 percent gain in productivity, as measured by sales per employee.” Microsoft, as a giant corporation, has the ability to do these types of “experiments.” Across-the-board shorter workweeks would gash the good portion of the market that small businesses make up. Minimum wage laws already burden these businesses; to cut an entire day of work would be catastrophic. “The majority of Americans deserve a break, and anyone telling you differently is ultimately saying that the working class should continue to be exploited.” Anyone saying that workers are exploited has clearly never heard of voluntarily taking one of many jobs in a given market. It’s a consensual relationship. We convince ourselves that consuming alcohol is worth it — but it isn’t Nicholas Walker, Pipe Dream, 11/4/19 “Our unhealthy relationship with alcohol is further evident in how we react to those trying to quit it.” Sounds like me the morning after a night at the Rat. “Say John Doe binge drinks twice per week and he says he drinks too much. Well, the rest of us drinking that much or more will feel threatened by his proclamation.” Actually, I see it as a challenge. Thanks to personal responsibility, you can switch to water.
“What’s so chill about alcohol?” The fact that I can drink to forget reading Prohibitionist articles like this. Added comment: Forget everything these degenerates said, you are totally on point! -Musclini Diversity is needed within the size-inclusive community Annick Tabb, Pipe Dream, 10/28/19 “ Additionally, all of the photos on the website’s homepage feature models who are tall, thin and very much fit into preexisting standards of beauty.” Did you mean, preexisting standards of being healthy? “The body positivity movement has its roots in the fat acceptance movement that was established in the 1960s to raise awareness about the anti-fat biases that existed in society.” I acknowledge that women may struggle with eating disorders and other medical issues which influence weight, and while certain businesses may capitalize on this, obesity should not be advocated for. Anyone that is fat by choice is also choosing to live with a number of health issues associated with being overweight.
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The New Alt-Right
THE NEW ALT-RIGHT
By Harold Rook
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hen it comes to the political extremes, American history has tended to favor moderates on the left and right, with the Constitution serving as the binding document that is meant to create a system of checks and balances. Contemporary history, however, has placed this in jeopardy; there has been a rise in a radical leftist element, a mixture of democratic socialists, communists, and anarchists, as a response to the campaign and presidency of Donald Trump. American values such as freedom of speech are typically disregarded, wherein anyone to the right of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is a dirty, evil racist promoting capitalist enslavement! However, though not as open, there has been a simultaneous rise in the alt-right. Under the guise of a new conservatism, proponents of the alt-right promote such “American” ideas as white nationalism and open antisemitism. These racial demagogues cemented their putrid status when they marched in Charlottesville, yelling “Jews will not replace us!” For a while, it seemed like enough of America was aware of just how awful this movement is, with the de facto leader of the movement, Richard Spencer, being publicized as the neo-Nazi that he truly is. However, this was only apparent; there has been a sudden rise in an alt-right insurgency, interrupting recent conservative events to perpetuate the illusion that the alt-right as simply “America First” policy as opposed to overt racism. This group of recent alt-right insurgency have adopted a name: Groypers. So where exactly did these demagogues come from? What even is a “Groyper?” Like all abominations, Groyper originated from the completely wonderful website, 4chan, where message boards have been co-opted by the alt-right. Groyper was originally the name for a Pepe the Frog character variation, a fat toad with the face of the frog used as an alt-right symbol. Its status may have remained some weird offshoot of a racist symbol,
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dying to obscurity, if not for one Nick J. Fuentes, a self-described “American nationalist.” Fuentes, when not insulting Muslims, Jews, homosexuals, African Americans, denying the Holocaust, peddling conspiracy theories, and other wonderful activities, runs the deceptively named YouTube channel “America First.” Though he has operated his channel and promoted racialism for years, Fuentes recently directed much of his energy towards attacking mainstream conservatives, in what he describes as the “Groyper War.” In what can be described as a coordinated plan to hijack events, Fuentes calls for his supporters, called “Groypers,” to purposely ask unassuming questions such as referencing the Dancing Israelis, a 9/11 conspiracy theory claiming that Israel was complicit in the attack, challenging speakers to debate the “true conservative” Nick Fuentes, or furiously asking why politicians aren’t taking a stronger stance against anal sex (by God, I truly wish I was joking about this garbage). As you might suspect, there are two goals that these Groypers wish to achieve. The first is to simply create shock and awe: drawing attention to themselves and their movement through infamy, lacing each question with childish attempts to gain relevancy. However, there is a second, and far more dangerous, reason that this
is happening. By branding himself as a “true conservative” fighting for an “America First” pseudo-policy cloaking white nationalism, Fuentes and his army of Groypers are attempting to repeat what happened in 2016: the rise of a younger alt-right generation within American politics. Yet rather then remaining relatively isolated and directly yelling for a white ethno-state, Groypers inject themselves into mainstream politics, framing themselves as innocent citizens concerned with “America First” policy. It is through this disguise that Groypers are attempting to achieve their second goal: introduce blatant white nationalism as a legitimate brand of mainstream politics, radicalizing an already volatile political environment. It isn’t like this is a secret; for every Groyper question asked towards TPUSA’s Charlie Kirk, for every antisemitic conspiracy asked to Representative Dan Crenshaw, and the challenges to debate a “real” conservative towards Ben Shapiro, Fuentes proclaims victory on Twitter. This is an optics battle, and Fuentes knows this, carefully dancing around his white nationalism. White nationalism has no place in American politics, be it as neo-Nazis screaming for an ethno-state or white nationalists hiding their motives behind supposed “America First” ideas. Yet what makes this so concerning is that Groypers are not the main problem, but the symptom. Political intensity has only increased since 2016, amplifying the far extremes of the political spectrum. This is not the only force American citizens should be worried about, with mobs of leftists also pushing a radical, unamerican narrative. Both extremes promote a radical doctrine that alienates the basic freedoms we cherish. Why should we jump to these extremes, abandoning the principles we stand by? We shouldn’t. We should stand tall for our principles, see our fellow man as human, and work to heal the clear divides that exist.
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MIDTERM REPORT CARD
Midterm Report Card
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By Our Staff
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ith the fall semester coming to a close, and the academic year just about half-way over, it’s time to look back on how things have gone this semester, and grade them accordingly. More specifically, we’re going to take a look at the performance of the various publications that exist here at Binghamton University. Pipe Dream Pipe Dream is a constant reminder that Binghamton doesn’t offer a journalism degree because their issues consistently show a lack of quality that would never be accepted at any real publication. The only larger waste of paper on this campus is when my roommate takes a two-hour-long shit. If I had the option between reading Pipe Dream and watching paint dry, I’d choose the latter. I have never seen a real human being read this paper voluntarily. The only thing that could get anyone talking about Pipe Dream is when they print embarrassing opinion articles (see: Campus PressWatch.) Isn’t it wild that the only paper that has received any controversy this semester is the boring one? Pipe Dream also loses points for not responding to our fire diss track. Grade: D-
The BUTT This year, the Bing BUTT formally changed their name to “The BUTT” because the “B” in BUTT stands for Binghamton, thus making the word “Bing” redundant. What the staff writers of The BUTT failed to realize is that that’s the joke. The fact that the campus’ satirical publication could not recognize the joke in their own name is a testament to just how unfunny they have become. What’s worse is that the articles they publish are almost always marred by grammatical errors. So far this semester, The BUTT has not published any physical issues but has operated entirely online. In the end, a satirical publication on campus is a great idea, but unfortunately the idea has not been executed well. For this reason, we had to give The BUTT ‘the D.” Grade: D Binghamton Law Quarterly Binghamton Law Quarterly, despite their name, only prints about two issues every year. The actual content could have been better if it didn’t read like a bunch of undergraduates trying to write half-assed articles for extra credit. The publication itself is only noteworthy for being the most sterile paper on campus. The overall tone of the paper can only be described as self-congratulatory. Still, the citations are accurate and their sources are legitimate and properly formatted so we’ll give them a passing grade. Grade: C Free Press Free Press is an arts magazine with some heavy high school lit mag vibes. The admittedly great graphic design work comes at the price of their paper having so much ink that you can’t help but feel like a squid while reading it. They’ve only released one issue this semester which is noticeably less than they produced last year. They also lose points for not updating their website in two years. Grade: C+ Asian Outlook Yet another publication that has only released one issue this year. Asian Outlook is a magazine run by the Asian Student Union of Binghamton University. Each of the articles are well written and well edited and the layout and design are also impressive. Unfortunately, we had to take off points because one of their pages contains a drawing of exposed breasts right before No Nut November. Grade: B Wait! Stop the presses! They published a second issue the day before we sent this issue to be printed. Good work Asian Outlook. Updated Grade: B+
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Vol. XXXII, Issue V
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MIDTERM REPORT CARD / WHAT IF NAUGHTY KIDS WANT COAL?
Ellipsis If it wasn’t for the contact we’ve had with them regarding our old office, I wouldn’t have had any clue that Ellipsis was still around. As of the release date of this issue, they still have not published anything this semester. We were moved from UUWB05 and our half of that space was given to Ellipsis. They have done nothing with it, and the two publications in that large, convenient office have produced one issue combined. Meanwhile, we’re over here in a modified dorm room pumping out our fifth issue of the semester. Great job Space Allocation Committee. Y’all really killed it with that one. Ellipsis actually had significant contribution from Binghamton Review’s staff last year. We shared an e-board member, and former Managing Editor Matthew Rosen and Staff Writer Jordan Jardine each wrote multiple pieces for them. In fact, if you do a Google search for “Ellipsis Binghamton,” Matthew Rosen is one of the first names to appear. Is it a coincidence that their paper fell apart the year after their Binghamton Review contributors graduated? It’s a shame, because some of what they published in the past was quality content. As they have not published anything for us to evaluate, Ellipsis receives an F by default. They also (accidentally?) stole Tommy’s sweatshirt and gave it away at some kind of clothing swap event, so they lose points for that too. Grade: F Binghamton Review Is there really any doubt about the grade earned by Last Refuge of Scholars? This year has been one of the best years for us in recent memory in terms of campus readership; our paper’s always gone, the people seem to need it. We’ll keep hammering this point as well; we ourselves have put out more issues than all other non-Pipe Dream publications thus far this semester combined (but Pipe Dream, a word of advice: quantity does not equal quality). Hate all you want, but the other papers need to step up their game. Involvement in the Review is another high for recent memory. Eight years ago, the Review had a staff of four people; now, we’ve struggled to allocate space to everyone that wants to write. Production used to be one guy in the dark basement of the Union putting the team on his back and the issue together; now, our dorm room office actually feels like a dorm room hangout on production night. Our staff is happy to contribute and our readers love what we do. If pluses can be added to an A+, it only goes up from here. Grade: A+
What if Naughty Kids Want Coal? By Kris Kringle
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here are two rules of Christmas: 1. Only nice kids get what they want, and 2. Naughty kids get coal. Typically, these rules never conflict with each other as kids tend to not want coal, but what if they did? Well, if a child unironically wants coal, he or she is probably some country hick in the middle of bumfuck, nowhere. The kid probably turned out rotten because his broke ass parents only care about coal and crystal meth. So in this case Santa would probably just give him chinese coal so that when his parents see it, they’ll beat the fucking crap out of him lol. This would keep with both rules because he is getting coal, but he doesn’t get what he wants, instead he gets disowned by his family. But what if the kid wasn’t in the middle of coal country? In this case, Santa would probably make the kid choke on his BBC (Blacklung Because of Coal), by filling his room with enough coal to power a train. This way the kid comes to resent
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coal, which would put it back into compliance with rule one. But what if someone was super messed up? Let’s say the guy was either such a huge coal fanatic, or just so hellbent on creating a paradox, then what would Santa do? Instead of making him or her hate coal Santa could try to change the other condition and make the person be nice by sending him his long lost son who was raised as and elf and only recently discovered that he was human (played by Will Ferrell). But if both of these rules were truly inflexible, then what would Santa do? Well there’s a third rule that I neglected to mention earlier: the kids have to be alive for Santa to give them anything. I’m sure you’ll be able to see where this is going. Moral of the story: if you’re naughty, don’t ask for coal. It won’t end well for you. And remember, Santa sees you when you’re sleeping and he knows when you’re awake; he knows if you’ve been bad or good, so be good for goodness sake!
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DOGS!
Dogs! F
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inals stressing you out? Need to take some time to calm down and relax? Don’t worry; we have you covered. We asked our staff to send in pictures of their dogs for all of you to enjoy, and to help you de-stress during the most stressful time of the year. (I have my suspicions that some of these dogs may actually be imposters, though.)
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Vol. XXXII, Issue V
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Chaos on the Spine
CHAOS ON THE SPINE
By Eyewitness Isaac
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n Thursday November 14th, Turning Point USA and Binghamton University College Republicans held a tabling event on the University’s “spine.” The organizers consisted of two BU students and an advisor from Turning Point USA. The main purpose of this event was to advertise an event titled “Trump,Tariffs and Trade Wars” featuring Dr. Arthur Laffer as a guest speaker. The event also featured free hot chocolate, posters sponsored by Turning Point, and a Donald Trump cardboard cutout. The event was harmless and inoffensive at face value, and the organizers had made all attempts to be friendly and considerate to the bystanders passing by. As a bystander, the organizers were very respectful and even gave me an extra cup of hot cocoa. The initial passersby were also respectful and engaged in civil discourse with the organizers. I returned around 1:30 PM to see a small mob of students had approached the organizers and confronted them on their event. They questioned whether or not the clubs were allowed to be tabling, and were concerned with the nature of the posters put up by the organizers. However, the majority of the posters were just generic posters supplied by Turning Point USA, and in no way related to the subjects advertised by the organizers. The protestors also cited recent reports of a school shooting in California making the event inappropriate. However, organizers did not know about this incident since it occurred roughly around the same time that the tabling event began. The number of protesters quickly multiplied after 1:30 and by 2:00 the spine was swarmed with hundreds of students. While it may be surprising that so many people were aware of the protest, the truth is that the progressives advertised the protest in public group chats such as the Hinman area group chat which I am apart of. The incident became so heated that the police had to intervene.
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From what I could see, the crowd was split into four groups. The first group was the protesters. This group was by far the loudest and concentrated into a dense mob that enveloped the three organizers. Aside from yelling and chanting, this group tore up and stole the property of the organizers. One of their leaders, who was recently arrested for tearing down the property of other organizations, used this opportunity to shamelessly promote their event titled “pigs and prejudice.” While I did not attend this event, the title alone makes the event sound pretty one-sided. The second group were the counter-protestors. This consisted of small groups who tried to defend the organizers, by chanting “free speech” and other slogans back at the protestors. The third group was the organizers themselves. As chaos ensued, they mostly just stood there, enduring the abuse that was hurled at them. Finally there were other bystanders. This group was only there because of the public spectacle the event became. Everyone wanted to see what was going on. Even college professors came to see the chaos. This group seemed neutral and did not favor either side either due to political apathy, or confusion as to
what was going on. By 2:30 the organisers were escorted away by police and the event died out. Since the protestors were the focal point of this event, their actions should be documented in more detail. Instead of having a civil debate with the organizers, the protestors instead just screamed and chant their tired messages. Chants included: “F*ck Trump”, “No justice no peace” and “Who are you defending?” which was specifically directed at the police. In addition, some of the organizer’s property was damaged, stolen, or completely destroyed. So what can we take from all of this? Well clearly this event shows us the dangers of mob mentality. As someone who witnessed the exponential growth of the protestors, mob mentality can be a powerful force which can be used for whatever purpose the public desires. In addition, it’s clear from the intellectual diversity of the crowd that not everyone believes in the outrageous form of discourse used by the progressives. In the end, the constitutional right of freedom of speech should be protected no matter how many people get offended by other ideas.
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EARTH NEEDS ABOUT TREE FIDDY
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Earth Needs About Tree Fiddy By Patrick McAuliffe
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enerally, human activity negatively affects the Earth’s environment. Period. To what degree and how quickly are the subjects of hundreds of political and scientific battles over the last several decades, and I have no intention of finding the answers here. We just need this baseline established so we can see that government regulation or some sort of Green New Deal is impractical, unnecessary, and immoral, when actions by private citizens voluntarily coming together to better the planet’s environment are what really drive change. Towards the end of October, famous YouTuber MrBeast hit the 20 million YouTube subscriber milestone. Fans on Reddit and Twitter, already familiar with MrBeast’s often exorbitant philanthropy, circulated the meme that he should plant 20 million trees to celebrate 20 million subscribers. So, on October 25th, MrBeast uploaded the video “Planting 20,000,000 Trees, My Biggest Project Ever!” to kick off his conservation effort #TeamTrees. The project was started as a collaboration between MrBeast and fellow DIY science YouTuber Mark Rober. Rober signed onto the project because mutual fans of the channels encouraged him to help MrBeast in his efforts, as he claims in his corresponding video on the topic, “Using Drones to Plant 20,000,000 Trees”. MrBeast hopes to plant 20 million trees by the start of 2020. The #TeamTrees website, teamtrees.org, is managed by MrBeast’s and Rober’s partner, the Arbor Day Foundation. They claim that $1 donated equals 1 tree planted. As of November 12th, the #TeamTrees tree counter stands at about 15.1 million trees (or $15.1 million donated to the Arbor Day Foundation). Notable contributors to the project are MrBeast himself (with two separate donations of $100,000 and $100,002 and captions that dare others to take his spot in the queue of most dollars donated); other #TeamTrees founder Mark Rober (with $50,000); PewDiePie (under the name poopiepie with a donation of $69,420); makeup artist Jeffree Star (with $50,000); CEO of YouTube Susan Wojcicki (with $200,000); and CEO of Tesla Elon Musk, captioning his $1 million donation with “For Treebeard”, spawning an outpouring of “Treelon Musk” memes. Although the project began as a YouTuber collaboration, and YouTube creators are the primary big donors, this is not to cheapen the hundreds of thousands of smaller donations from ordinary people that can be found under the “Most Recent” tab of the website. I am blown away by this incredible effort of all of the participants. #TeamTrees is just one more example of how much people can accomplish with passion, organization, and voluntary cooperation. As of this writing, the project has only been active for a few days over two weeks, and the $20 million goal is 75% completed. However, I began asking myself questions about the specifics of the conservation effort. Where would the trees be planted? What will keep them safe into maturity so that they reach their maximum air-cleaning potential? Does $1 actually equal 1 tree planted? If the world is giving freely of itself for a cause, it is vital that the leaders of that cause do not take
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advantage of such massive altruism, as so many historically altruistic leaders of causes have done. For the answers, we must turn to the Arbor Day Foundation. Founded in 1972, the programs sponsored by this 501(c) (3) nonprofit organization are vast and far-reaching, from corporate partnerships to the Tree City USA program to initiatives in developing countries for jobs in the coffee industry and rainforest rescue. Survivors of natural disasters can receive free trees to plant to regain some of their area’s former ecosystem. It may sound like something straight out of a hippie manifesto, but the ADF does important work both in the United States and around the world. This doesn’t mean I’m trying to get to first base with any trees in the near future; real just respects real. What about $1 equalling 1 tree planted? I took a look at the ADF’s tax return for the 2018-2019 tax year to get a better idea of the money’s allocation. Last year, the ADF received about $41 million in revenue. All non-trustee senior officers of the organization receive compensation totalling about $2 million between the twelve of them. The CEO, Matt Harris, was only compensated $336,445. Independent contractors received about $16 million; from what I can tell, these contractors were primarily responsible for printing literature and tree planting in specific local areas. Much of the rest of the money goes to other salaries, grants to governments or organizations, and land or building expenses. I encourage a closer look on your own time. So, does #TeamTrees appear to stand by its promises? From the allocation of funds, we can assume that, directly or indirectly, $1 will more or less get 1 tree planted. Most of them will be in the US, but ADF grants go all over the world. I can say with confidence that this is a reputable cause that will actually do what it sets out to do. I applaud MrBeast, Mark Rober, Treelon Musk, and all who have already given to the cause, and I look forward to a cleaner future brought to us by private individuals working together for everyone’s benefit, not through mandates or regulations.
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Di(n)vestigating Bing
DI(N)VESTIGATING BING
By Robert Thomicide & Nerdicus Maximus
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ne important aspect of the democratic process is political activism as it allows government officials to know which issues are the most important. As a result of advances in technology and communication, political activism has become much more prevalent in the 21st century. Political activism doesn’t always lead to the best change, however. Take for instance the Divest movement, which has recently started at Binghamton University. While I do not wish to stop this group, the ideas and goals presented by this group are inherently flawed and detrimental to the university. So what is Divest Bing? According to their mission statement, Divest Bing are advocating for financial transparency as well as investment into “socially responsible funds.” The group lists a number of reasons for why they require financial transparency. These reasons include: fighting climate change, economic benefit, and ethical reasons. While these may seem like adequate justifications, they are not as significant as they would want you to believe. On the topic of climate change actions, countries such as China are far more likely to contribute to its effects than any investment from The Binghamton University foundation alone. In terms of economics, it’s safe to say that the financial consults of the Foundation know much more of what’s profitable than any student activist. Finally, in regards to ethics, considering Divest Bing has yet to name a fully ethical fund, or company, or even provide some sort of standard to measure the ethics of a company. There’s no use in arguing over this. A few companies mentioned by divest include defense contractors such as Lockheed Martin and BAE systems. However there are many issues that come with protesting these firms. Firstly, these firms are massive employers in the Triple Cities community. This includes Binghamton students in some of the most demanding majors such as mechanical and electrical engineering, so we really shouldn’t arbitrarily limit the employment options of these students. In addition, these firms are primarily employed by the government so if you take issue with the use of these products then you should take your activism to DC. What’s ironic though is that most of the politicians supported by the individuals in divest oppose president Trump’s agenda which involves the reduction of these unethical tactics abroad. Aside from their biographical statements, there are many other problems with divest. One of the biggest problems with divest is that they don’t even understand the issue they’re protesting, and spread false information as a result. My favorite example of this is their banner stating “where is our money?” The answer is: your money is in Albany. Tuition is collected by the SUNY system, and then the SUNY system decides where your money goes from there. The Binghamton Foundation receives no tuition or fee proceeds from students. Instead, the foundation manages donations from alumni and philanthropists, and exists because Binghamton University is not allowed to collect donations by law. Therefore, Divest is trying to disclose where other people’s money is going, and they have no right to that information. An-
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other example of their misinformation is the claim that Binghamton is invested in the fossil fuel industry. This assumption is something they treat as fact just because other colleges have done the same. When they make this claim, it garners unwarranted support Beyond simple misunderstandings, Divest has also displayed a high level of hypocrisy. The most egregious example is in their demands related to something called “pilot funds.” Pilot funds are monies set aside by the University to compensate the community for additional costs the University creates. Typical uses for the funds would be compensation to the police, public schools, and public transit. According to Divest, these funds went to a town advisory board and their initiatives were unsatisfactory. This may be true, but that isn’t what matters in this case. Divest also demanded that these funds be used for the PLOT organization, an organization they are directly involved in. Divest demands transparency from the Binghamton Foundation, while simultaneously demanding University funding behind closed doors! This is not divesting. This is diverting. I believe that even if these funds were allocated in a community meeting, Republicans would be completely silenced. From my experience, even associating with Republicans disqualifies oneself from their discussions. The biggest reason PLOT should not receive any pilot funds is that PLOT and their associated groups are a reason pilot funds are needed in the first place. It is associated organization PLOT that disrupted a community parade and required additional policing; it is the College Progressives and Divest Bing that demand longer bus routes, creating increased pollution and gasoline costs; and it is the Progressives’ information session protests that make recruiting difficult for local companies. To me, these factors should disqualify such groups from receiving pilot funds. My last point is one most people forget. Investment is more than just buying and selling securities. It is also choosing to buy a company’s products, and contribute to their revenues. Most Americans buy products produced with copious amounts of fossil fuel and drive cars to and from work or school. So unless people are okay with drastically higher gas prices and heating and electricity bills, no one can truly divest from fossil fuels. In fact, it is the sales of fossil fuel that drives up a company’s earnings per share, and encourages investment. Therefore, I think everyone should consider their own actions before dictating how other people should invest their own money. So what can we take from all of this? Well, Divest Bing can be seen as an example of all the issues with direct democracy. Here we have a vocal group which holds and spread many misinformed and dangerous ideas. If this group were to get large enough to be impactful then some of these ideas may be implemented, resulting in a net detriment. As a result, the best way to fight these ideas is with logic, reason, and persuasion, which is the main force behind this article. So to all who are reading this, don’t forget to think before you act.
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GUIDE TO THE AREA
Guide to the Area
BINGHAMTONREVIEW.COM
By A. Townie & Isaac Levine
I
f you’re reading this, you’re most likely a Binghamton University student and by extension you’re most likely from Suffolk, Nassau, or Rockland County and aren’t incredibly familiar with the area. When you’re done showing your parents the Lost Dog Cafe for their visit during family weekend, (or The Colonial if you’re feeling particularly adventurous) you might wonder what else Binghamton has to offer. Don’t worry, I’m not here to hector you for not being an expert on a town you’ve barely seen, but you should at least be sure to see more than The Rathskeller before decrying the entire town as “small with nothing in it.” Skylark Diner: Nothing bewilders a local more than when someone from out of town suggests going to Denny’s. Almost every diner in the area is an absolute knock-out, but if there’s one that stands above all others, it has to be Skylark. Conveniently located on the Vestal Parkway, Skylark Diner captures a feeling and experience that sticks with you for weeks. The waitresses are great, the food is incredible, and the prices are outstanding. Nothing beats a trip to Skylark.
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Pizza: The most pervasive lie of the modern era is that NYC has good pizza. The people who believe these falsehoods are always the ones who go to thirty different club GIMs at the beginning of every semester, get sick of Nirchi’s, and assume that’s what all the local pizza is like. Luckily, Binghamton University is within driving distance of Endicott, the premier Italian enclave of Upstate New York. Many of the pizza shops in the town of Union were started by Italian immigrants and they brought their brick ovens and classic recipes with them. If you ever find yourself in dire need of quality pizza, you should really consider Joey’s Pizza and Italian Ice on Oak Hill, Nick’s Pizza & Restaurant on East Main Street, or Consol’s Family Kitchen on Oak Hill. Alternatively if you absolutely refuse to travel outside of the Binghamton city limits there’s always Oakdale Pizza on Court Street. Admittedly Oakdale Pizza gets completely BTFO by every actual pizza shop in Endicott, but if you’re downtown and really want a slice then it’s about as good as it gets. Sound Go Round: Sound Go Round is the de facto hub of all music, movies, comics, video games, table
top games, and card games in Broome County. It’s really easy to kill several hours here. The DVD and Blu-ray selection is ripe with Coen Brothers classics. The video game selection ranges from classic retro games from any console to the latest releases. The back room is where they host the card game events with weekly tournaments for Pokemon and Yu-Gi-Oh. Conveniently located on the Vestal Parkway, this is easily the best place to go for entertainment in Broome county. Bars: College bars are the worst. They’re loud. The music blows. It’s too hot. No one actually likes them. The only reason to go to one is if the only alternative is a frat house. Either way you’ll be stuck listening to some dude you just met complain about how no girl wanted to dance with him. He’s wearing what you can safely assume is his only collared shirt. He seemed upset but he insisted that it’s fine because he actually wanted to spend his Saturday night with with his mysteriously absent guy friends. “Saturdays are for the boys” he would insist as you’d silently hope he leaves you alone, but you’re a bit too unnerved to say anything because you can’t tell how much this dude has had to drink. You try to divert him because you just want to get back to your room and sleep at this point. Where was I? Oh yeah. Binghamton has some excellent bars. 205 Dry is styled after the classic 1920s speakeasies of the prohibition era. The doorknob is in the bookcase. I just saved you the minute it’d take you to figure it out on your own. You’re welcome. The atmosphere is fantastic and the music is top notch. Also if you order a cocktail at the bar, the bartenders will actually know how to make it. The best Negroni I’ve ever had was courtesy of 205 Dry. Galaxy Brewing Company is another great bar which has some of the best seasonal beers around. If you get the chance you should really try one of their stouts. If you really want to check out some of the great
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GUIDE TO THE AREA section is a tad niche but it might be useful to some of you. There’s two main Pawn shops in the area, the Triple City Buy Sell Trade on Main Street in Binghamton and the All Star Pawn Shop on East Main Street in Endicott. If you ever find yourself in dire need of some cash in a very short amount of time, you can always try to sell or pawn some valuables there. In addition to pawn shops, the Neighborhood Redemption Center on Badger Ave in Endicott offers six cents for each NYS bottle and can. If you ever find yourself in possession of a massive amount of bottles and cans from some campus event, then this is the place to take them. There’s also the scrap yard Gary’s U-Pull It on Colesville road which has a shockingly wide array of spare car parts if you ever need something cheap for a car repair. Finally, there’s the Mapes Auctioneers and Appraisers which holds weekly auctions every Tuesday afternoon.
local bands, you definitely have to check out Callahan’s Sportsman Club on Main Street. Callahan’s is a great bar on its own but they also frequently have karaoke and open mic stand-up nights. But if sports bars aren’t really your thing, there’s always The Shop on Washington Ave, which has one of the best coffee and mixed drink selections of any spot in Binghamton. Speaking of caffeine... Coffee: There’s a variety of coffee shops in Binghamton and almost all of them have some section of exposed brick wall. The quintessential one for college students has to be City Light Coffee. Operated by volunteers, City Light offers free coffee to college students and 100% of their profits go to helping global mission projects against human trafficking and ending extreme poverty. It’s a fantastic place to hangout with friends, study for midterms, or even just surf the web with their free Wi-Fi. It’s a convenient gem in the city for college students to unwind with a quick game of chess or even get a bagel. Other great locations include Laveggio Roasteria on State Street (which many claim to have the best lattes in New York State) or Strange Brew, a hip local
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chain with two convenient locations for you to take the tinder date you actually care about. Recreation: Wintertime activities are limited, but let’s be honest, you should probably be focusing on your schoolwork. If you want to appropriate Buffalo culture there are plenty of hills to go drunk sledding down, however Greek Peak is a popular ski destination not too far from Binghamton and would probably look better on your Instagram story. Binghamton is an infinitely more active place when it is above 65 degrees. Chenango Valley State Park, the IBM Glen, and The Nature Preserve are all great places to find townies tripping on acid. If you like to golf then you’re also in luck. The EnJoie golf course is widely considered the nicest golf course in the Southern Tier. There’s also a wide and expansive range of thrift stores in the Binghamton area and the prices are always fantastic. Don’t pass up a chance to visit the Thrifty Shopper on Upper Front Street, the Nearly New Shop on Main Street, or the Goodwill on the Vestal Parkway.
There’s plenty of other places to go and things to see in Binghamton that I failed to mention in this article. I’ve lived here my entire life but honestly, I feel like I’ve only scratched the surface. I could talk about how cool it feels to walk by the Chenango River in downtown Bing on a radiant sunlit morning or the feeling of taking long exposure shots of the I-81, but those are things you have to experience for yourselves. If you’ve already got the idea in your head that you hate this place, then this article probably won’t change your mind (in fact the section about pawn shops and bottle redemption centers probably convinced you further) but, if you’re willing to get out of your dorm room a few nights a week and give the town a chance I promise you’ll make a least one memory that you’ll cherish for the rest of your life.
Liquidization of Items: This
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REPENT
REPENT
BINGHAMTONREVIEW.COM
By Musclini
Y
ou are a sinner. At any given moment you are either thinking about your next alcohol experiment, casually taking in whatever substance, be it nicotine or marijuana, makes you feel normal again or desperately trying to get to, or fantasizing about, your next sexual release. If none of that applies to you, good. You are still a sinner and we’ll get to you some other time, but when I look at my peers, I see that the Boomers and GenX’ers have failed. Your genetic father wasn’t strong enough, and as a result you have turned against the Holy Father. There are so many ways you stubborn swine abandon The Church, but for the sake of keeping this piece relatively short, I am focusing on just a few ways you turn your back on God, your family, and least importantly, yourself. You spend the entire week thinking about one or two nights that you spend poisoning yourself both physically and spiritually. You may think that it’s only your liver taking damage, but your soul is decaying more than you could ever imagine. Because of the degeneracy you subject yourself to every weekend, you are becoming a shell of your former self, with a personality reduced to drug addiction, rap lyrics, and The Office quotes. Side note, if you quote The Office, staple your upper lip to your lower lip and don’t remove the staple. Now on the topic of “going out”, I will put down a different set of standards for the genders, as women spend more time with children and need to remain pure. So if you are a girl, STOP, DO NOT GO OUT, EVER! If you are a guy, you can see your friends (sober), but you’re better off just doing some self improvement shit instead. Putting how your pathetic lifestyle affects YOU aside, while you’re looking around and saying “Yo, who’s throwing tonight?” and “Haha, yuh, I’m tryna get shmacked”, you probably have a little sibling or cousin talking about you, copying you, and trying to be just like you. For that alone, you should be locked away forever. On the topic of your drug addiction, I think you subconsciously already know how bad you fucked up. All I’ll say is that God doesn’t want you to give your body back with damaged parts. You have to pay a fine for that, and that fine is hell. Also marijuana is addictive, and you are a poo poo brain if you think otherwise. I won’t go too into the sex stuff because I plan on doing a larger piece on it for our godless and immoral February edition, but I’ll get the basic points through. Stop having sex. Sex is degenerate, impure, and will ruin you. I’m mostly talking to guys when I say this, because I think it goes without saying that women should save it for marriage. However, if you want to be strong, independant, and fight me on this, close your voice hole and google “divorce rates for women by number of non-marital sexual partners.” Now back to the men. Up until this point you have had your mind scrambled by media, pornogaphy, and your peers to judge your personal success by the number of sexual encounters you’ve had. Never have you considered that this ultimately turned you into a coochie slave, one desperate for the approval of females. You have reduced yourself to the
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status of a dog, and you will burn in hell if you continue to do this. But wait, there’s more, because before you get there, you will have to experience a lifetime of depravity and loneliness bundled up with a sense of meaninglessness, all contributing to your own personal living hell. Ever feel sick and depraved after watching porn? Don’t forget that feeling, it’s the only time you are honest with yourself. Again, I won’t dive too deep into this because Musclini will return in February to expand on this topic, but the general takeaway should be that you are sick. You will continue down a path of sexual deviancy until it ultimately gets the best of you. Unless you delay gratification by keeping it in your pants until marriage, you will be destroyed by your desires, and it will become a problem for the rest of us who actually build societies and keep its traditions. You will end up poisoning the next generation with promiscuity and perversion when they look to you for advice, and that is why I believe in big government. I don’t even care if your degeneracy is kept in the shadows, you need to be set straight. If it takes the all-mighty hand of the state to do that, so be it. “Ummmm, you’re seriously advocating for the GOVERNMENT to control what goes on in the bedroom?” Yes. So how will I, the glorious Musclini, conclude the verbal spanking I just delivered to the unwashed masses? I will guide you to the light. The best way I can do that, of course, being through extending an invitation to the Holy Church. Come back to God. And I know, I know, a third of this school is Jewish, but you guys have a moral code too, so just follow that… or convert. Atheists, on the other hand, you have no excuse. Atonement for one’s misdoings brings us closer to eternal paradise, but if you are too layman mode to comprehend this, there are other ways of thinking about these things. All of the females, boomers, and normies have already stopped reading, so I’m just going to put it in gamer terms. When you follow the path of righteousness and glory, whether that be putting down the vape, not masturbating, or grabbing dumbbells instead of bottles, you start to level up. With each level up comes permanent stat increases. These stats are things like confidence, happiness, and fulfillment. Was that clear enough? I’m not doing this amature preaching session just to boost my own self worth, I am doing it because I want you to improve yourself. When you do the right thing for yourself, the natural order rewards you for it (i.e. bigger muscles from lifting, eternal fulfillment from having children, not losing brain cells from alcohol abstinence, etc.) This power is great and all, but you will also gain the ability to effectively and honorably help others. Whether that be through giving advice, spreading happiness, or becoming a source of inspiration, you have potential. Now grow the fuck up and repent.
Vol. XXXII, Issue V
BINGHAMTONREVIEW.COM
ROCK IS DEAD
Rock is Dead By Dillon O’Toole
W
hen was the last time a rock song became a massive hit? Rock as a whole is no longer as popular as it once was. The popular genres of the country today are rap and pop. This would seem to validate the commonly used phrase, “rock is dead.” As someone who still listens to rock music, I can confirm that rock is not dead, and isn’t even dying. In fact, I would argue that rock is doing just fine. Not only has this decade seen established bands continue performing with great quality, but it has also seen the birth of plenty of new bands to carry the torch far into the future. The goal of this article is to introduce people to five of the new acts that have emerged this decade and what songs are good examples of their music. STARSET I will expose my bias right away in this pick as STARSET is my favorite music group to come out of this decade. This, however, does not diminish how good this group is. Falling within the genres of hard rock and electronic rock, the American band STARSET have released three albums as of 2019. Their first album, “Transmissions,” was released in 2014 and focuses more on hard rock than any of their other albums. Highlights from this album are the songs “My Demons” and “Carnivore.” Their second album, “Vessels,” was released in 2017 and focuses more on the electronic element of the band while still keeping the band within the hard rock genre. High points of the al-
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bum include the songs “Monster,” “Satellite,” and “Back to Earth.” The most recent album from STARSET, “Divisions,” was released earlier this year in September. “Divisions” is a return to the more hard rock nature of “Transmissions,” while still keeping elements of electronic music. Red Sun Rising The American band Red Sun Rising has released two albums as of 2019, and their musical style is closer to that of traditional rock with elements of hard rock mixed in. Their first album, “Polyester Zeal,” was released in 2015. This album is purely hard rock and highlights from it include the songs “The Otherside” and “Amnesia.” Their second album, “Thread,” was released in 2018 and uses a more mellow approach than their debut to create a more traditional styled album. The best songs from this album include “Deathwish” and “Evil Like You.” The Amazons Still relatively new, British band The Amazons released their first album in 2017. The style of their music was originally more like pop rock but has since changed to a more alternative rock style. Their first album was a self-titled release and features the songs “In My Mind” and “Stay With Me.” Their second album, which was released earlier this year in May, is punctuated by songs such as “Mother” and “Georgia.”
Royal Blood Royal Blood is a British duo that have released two albums this decade. Standing out from many rock bands, Royal Blood doesn’t have a guitarist and instead only has a bassist and drummer. The genre that they play is alternative rock and both of their albums are very similar in styling. Their first album was self-titled and was released in 2014. Highlights from the album include the songs “Figure It Out” and “Out of the Black.” Their second album, “How Did We Get So Dark?,” was released in 2017 and has the songs “Lights Out” and “I Only Lie When I Love You” as notable standouts. Evership The final band on this list is an obscure act that may have even evaded those who actively listen to rock. The band Evership is a progressive rock band (the genre that the bands such as Pink Floyd, Rush, and Yes played in). As of 2019 they have released two albums. Both of these albums are self titled as the second only adds the roman numeral two after the band name. A common theme of progressive rock groups is extremely long songs, and Evership is no different. Therefore, I am going to preface these song recommendations by saying they are all long (the band only has one song shorter than five minutes.) Their first album was released in 2016 and quickly establishes the type of music to expect from Evership in the future. Focal points of the album are the songs “A Slow Descent Into Reality” and “Flying Machine.” Their second album was released in 2018 and highlights of the album include the songs “The Serious Room” and “Wanderer.” These five bands have helped show me, a lifelong fan of rock music, that rock isn’t dead. Lets see what the 2020s bring for the future of rock music and music in general.
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