This is an excerpt from 8 STRATEGIES for Personal & Professional MASTERY by Jim Bouchard © 2015––All rights reserved. Order your print edition at ThatBlackBeltGuy.com. Also available on Amazon Kindle. Volume discounts available––call 800-786-8502.
1. Choose discipline––and choose your disciplines
Develop and cultivate meaningful and purposeful habits. “Raise your hand if you consider yourself a highly disciplined person.”
That’s how I start nearly every THINK Like a BLACK BELT workshop. No matter how often I do this, I’m amazed if half the people in the room raise their hands. Then I usually add: “What the hell is wrong with the rest of you?” Don’t worry. It’s quite possible there isn’t anything terribly wrong with you if you didn’t raise your hand. You probably 1
JIM BOUCHARD just haven’t thought very much about what, exactly, discipline is all about.
Discipline is simply the development
and cultivation of meaningful and purposeful habits.
It’s simple, really. Meaningful and purposeful habits are those that move you closer to your goals and objectives. The more of these positive habits you have in your life, the more likely you are to succeed in whatever you’re after. Simple––but simple does not necessarily mean easy! The problem is that your mind abhors a vacuum. Human beings are truly creatures of habit and in the absence of constructive habits, there are plenty of destructive habits willing and eager to take their place. You might not have raised your hand when I asked you to acknowledge that you are a highly disciplined person, but what if I say it a little differently: “Raise your hand if you have some things you do regularly that help you do your work or achieve your goals.” Is your hand up now? And what about this? “Raise your hand if you have habits that get in the way of doing your work, doing it well or habits that keep you from achieving what 2
8 STRATEGIES for MASTERY you want and living the kind of life you want, or think you deserve.” Now is your hand up? As a young man I was an example of the classic poster boy for bad habits. I was a dropout and a drug abuser. Around 1980 lived in an old drafty 1950s trailer that we christened, “Stonehenge.” Just inside our front door we taped up a hand-written cardboard sign that read: “We ARE the people our parents warned us about.” Not an environment conducive to health, or the successful completion of a college degree. I failed miserably in both areas. I can tell you from experience if you don’t have constructive habits, you have destructive habits. Your destructive habits may not be as dramatic as drug addiction. One in particular that gets little attention but can be equally dangerous is: Complacency. That’s right––doing nothing might just be the most crippling habit of all. Most of the people I meet who think they have a discipline problem really have a complacency problem. Some of them are just plain lazy, that’s one issue, but most of them are quite 3
JIM BOUCHARD comfortable––and that can be even worse! If you’re satisfied with your life the way it is––great! Far be it for me to judge! If you want more out of life, then get off your lazy, complacent ass and do something about it! While we’re talking about this, another terribly self-destructive habit is complaining––and when it comes to complaining, a lot of people are hard-core addicts.
ALRIGHT––LET’S GET TO WORK. I asked a question a few paragraphs ago. Let’s make it official:
Do you consider yourself to be a highly disciplined person? Circle one:
YES
NO
If you answered no––why not? If you answered no, and if you’re like most people with discipline issues, it’s likely that you’ve allowed negative and destructive to habits to displace positive, productive habits. If you answered yes, let’s build on your best habits and see if we can expand those habits into new applications and even 4
8 STRATEGIES for MASTERY more productive areas. Let’s identify your current habits or routines––you’ve got ‘em whether you realize it or not. Let’s analyze each one and decide whether they’re productive or destructive. Destructive habits can be sneaky and they don’t always seem destructive until you really take a hard look at them. Fill in the table below with the things you do regularly. Under “Frequency,” indicate whether this is something you do daily, weekly, monthly, annually or occasionally. Then place a plus or minus symbol in the next column to indicate whether this is a positive habit that should be further cultivated, or a negative habit you can live without.
Habit
Frequency
+/–
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JIM BOUCHARD
THE NEXT TASK IS SIMPLE––NOT EASY. GET RID OF YOUR NEGATIVE HABITS. This is not easy because of one factor that too many self-improvement experts fail to acknowledge:
Sometimes your negative habits make you feel really freakin’ good! Seriously! Some of your most self-destructive habits might feel terrific––at least in the moment. When I was in the process of quitting drugs, I talked with a counselor who said, “Jim, drugs don’t make you feel good.” I wasn’t trying to be wiseass, but all I could say was, “What the hell drugs are YOU taking?” Of course drugs made me feel good––that’s why I was doing them! I understood what she was trying to say. My drug habit was literally killing me, but they also induced some remarkable physical and mental sensations. They shielded me from my own insecurities and self-loathing, at least temporarily. They provided an escape from the pain I was feeling. In a weird way, drugs gave me a reason not to face up to the challenge of making my life matter. What my counselor should have said, and what I’ve said to many people through the years, is to consider the cost. I may feel great now, but at what price down the line? 6
8 STRATEGIES for MASTERY Your negative habits might not be as extreme as drugs, but they can be just as debilitating, especially over the long haul. I keep harping on this one, but did you list any form of laziness, complacency or wasting time as a negative habit? They say time flies when you’re having fun. That’s true, but with the benefit of hindsight I’ve found that time flies even faster when you waste it––at least it seems that way when you’re looking back. Life is short and there’s nothing worse than waking up one morning and wondering where it all went. Complacency robs you of your precious time. That’s part of the reason drug and alcohol abuse is so destructive. I lost nearly 3 years of my life and I can’t even remember what I did through most of it. Now I can’t stand losing 3 hours! Sometimes you cling to negative habits even when they’re causing you immediate and obvious pain. You know they’re hurting you, they don’t feel good––but you keep doing them anyway. Two that come up quite frequently are staying in a bad relationship and sticking to a lousy job. Sometimes you cling to these negative habits simply out of comfort or convenience. As stupid as it might sound, it is sometimes more comfortable or convenient to stick with something lousy rather than risk a worse situation if you drop it. Well––it is worth the risk. You’ll never experience anything better unless you’re willing to let go. 7
JIM BOUCHARD One of my Masters told us a story about how they trap monkeys in China. They put a peach in a jar. The opening of the jar is just large enough for a monkey to get his paw in, but once he grabs that peach, he’s stuck. As much as that monkey likes that sweet peach, you’d think his freedom would be a lot more valuable. Apparently monkeys don’t think like we do––but unfortunately, we do sometimes think like that monkey. If you want to get ahead, you’re going to have to decide what to leave behind––sometimes even if it’s something sweet.
FINALLY––EXPAND ON YOUR POSITIVE HABITS. Think about where else you can apply your positive habits. Believe it or not, I work with many people who have nothing but positive habits, but they still can’t get where they want
to go. The problem there is usually that they have terrific habits in one area of life, but find it difficult to apply that discipline somewhere else––especially in their work. I’ve had the same problem. 8
8 STRATEGIES for MASTERY For me the turning point was martial arts. As I got more deeply involved in my training, some very special things started happening. In my martial arts practice I learned a lot about the process of discipline. I developed better focus. I started to cultivate some sense of genuine self-confidence. I became a stronger, more centered, more dedicated person. I also learned to embrace and accept self-improvement as a never-ending process. I learned that perfection is not a destination, and that for me, I’d always be a work in progress. I started to apply those lessons and principles in other areas of my life. It took awhile, but I started to realize that the disciplines I developed in the dojo were exactly what I needed to transform myself from a loser to a leader. And that’s a big part of the reason I share the most painful and embarrassing chapter in my life.
I am one of those people who can say from experience and from the heart: If I can do it––so can you. Each time you create a meaningful and purposeful habit, you create a discipline. That discipline becomes a valuable trait and commodity that you can apply to any worthwhile pursuit.
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JIM BOUCHARD
ACTION STEPS: Over the next week, take some time to complete these simple action steps:
#1 Decide which habits you’re going to drop––and do it. #2 Review and think about your positive habits––your current disciplines. #3 Decide what other
disciplines you need to develop to accomplish your goals or
to simply move ahead a little. Cultivating a mindset of discipline is the most fundamental step in developing self-Mastery. It’s painfully simple––but it can also be incredibly difficult. You sometimes have to overcome deeply rooted habits, fully integrated mindset patterns and strongly held beliefs. Before you commit to any of the other strategies, commit yourself fully to this one. Develop and cultivate meaningful and purposeful habits. 10
8 STRATEGIES for MASTERY
Choose discipline.
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