The Literary Memorial A Resource for Victims of Violence Trauma & Abuse
lieve this ‘addiction’ to violence is the power of imagery, advertising reinforced by media strategy, and should not be underestimated! Graphic violence is pushed in our faces at all angles - it is as though the producers and programmers are dedicated to making violence more attractive, accessible and acceptable for us to watch, enhancing it with graphics 3D/HD - for maximum subliminal impact; testing to see how much horror we can handle, so that street stabbings and shootings are made to look trivial by comparison.
Peace Rally, 22 June 2013, Luton, Bedfordshire Organised by the following Luton Community Organisations: The Non-Violence Alliance (TNVA); Grassroots; Luton Council of Faiths; Tropical FM; Heritage Associates; Jamrock Radio and The Walk to Freedom. Speakers: David Jonathan - Coordinator at Grassroots (Luton). MC Richard Atkinson – Bishop of Bedfordshire Delaney Brown (Snr) - Grandfather of murdered teenager Myrna Loy – Founder & CEO of Blackbright News & DMK Counselling & Advisory Svs Saundra Glenn – Interim Vice-Chair, African Caribbean Strategic Partnership Group (ACSP) David Boyle – Superintendant (Bedfordshire Police) Kelvin Hopkins, MP Bob Baker – Heritage Associates Victor Evelyn – Young Warriors Youth Development Academy
SPEECH DELIVERED AT THE PEACE RALLY
I am Myrna Loy, Founder & Managing Editor of Blackbright Newseum (a proactive resource for victims of violent crime and a voice for those who have lost loved ones or who have adapted to a tragic situation). I am a mother of 3 daughters and 5 grandchildren – 3 of which are boys, and this speech is made to support nonviolence. Personally, I cannot watch anything with an iota of violence in it, it makes me feel extremely uncomfortable, so much so, that as soon as the music starts and I sense something violent is going to happen, I either change the channel or, if I am in the room with someone, I leave the room. However, even though I have never advocated violence, or shown a violent film around my children, the more gory a film is, the more enjoyable they find it. I be- 2
If society is becoming immune to violence, we only have ourselves to blame for downplaying violent scenes in films in front of our children by saying “It is only acting”, forgetting that depending on the mindset of the child, it could be difficult for them to process fiction versus reality. Young children who see someone killed in one film and then play a different role in another film, may subconsciously believe that if they murder someone, s/he is not really dead, but will re-appear somewhere else, like in film - is there anyone who educates them about this? As children cannot be monitored 24 hours, and many have smart phones, it is virtually impossible to protect them from violent scenes, so as ‘carers of society’ we need to educate them on the impact violence has on families, friends and the whole social network. How can we penalise young boys when so many of them have been raised in domestic abuse environments and are probably mimicking violence impressed on them at a very young age? As teenagers, they are likely to face situations that reinforce or provoke their vulnerabilities, and many are not equipped to harness their emotions of anger, fear, betrayal and resentment - and so vent those emotions in harmful ways. As a Qualified counsellor, and Managing Editor of BlackBright News, I empathise with the survivors of violent crime and offer counselling and advisory services and will signpost where appropriate.
Black-Bright Newseum A Literary Memorial & Pro-Active Resource for Victims of Violent Crime
Blackbright Newseum is a Literary Memoriam based in Luton, that supports survivors and co-victims who have lost loved ones to violent crime. Blackbright Newseum (a supplement to Blackbright News), also serves as a voice for victims of trauma, violence, bias and abuse. Survivors of pain need time to grieve and get adjusted to demands put upon them at a time they are feeling most vulnerable, after which, they may need to share the memory of the deceased loved one, re-live a painful experience (albeit anonymously) to bring closure, but feel they have lost the opportunity, because usually that opportunity has been lost with time. With Blackbright Newseum, there is no time limit. If you would like to share side of your loved one that nobody knew, or share an ordeal that you have now adjusted to, then please email via blackbrightnews@gmail.com.
in partnership with
DMK COUNSELLING & ADVISORY LTD (Discouraged Minds get Kindness) DMK is an Out-of-Hours Social Enterprise dedicated to supporting Vulnerable Adults experiencing Stress or Depression because of a sudden change in circumstances
Company No. 08080826
Blackbright Newseum will also be a proactive outreach resource for survivors who wished they had known what to expect. Much of the instructions and advice received by police, family liaison officers, well-meaning family members and friends, is received at a time the survivor is in a state of confusion, panic and trauma, so it becomes difficult to process the information. Blackbright Newseum will benefit anyone who could potentially be a victim or survivor of violent crime or other tragic situation.
Studio 57 Luton LU2 0QG Tel: 01582 721 605
Blackbright Newseum will also signpost co-victims to delivery partners, advocacy services, and DMK Counselling & Advisory Services to assist with social and personal issues.
Black-Bright News Stimulates - Motivates - Educates
Blackbright Newseum, in partnership with DMK Counselling and Advisory Services, where Discouraged Minds get Kindness (DMK) is an Out-of-Hours Social Enterprise dedicated to supporting AfricanCaribbean families experiencing depression due to traumatic circumstances and provides indigenous stress counselling and advisory services to help ease the impact of grief, depression and trauma.
Founder & CEO: Myrna Loy, Dip C, NH.Inst New Logo Designed by: Flo Alowaja ISSN No: 1751-1909 Quartlery Periodical Email: blackbrightnews@gmail.com Previous issues: www.issuu.com/blackbrightnews 3
Grief - “The Human Experience” Wanda Bincer, M.D. Madison, Wisconsin (Taken from M.O.M.S - Mothers of Murdered Sons website)
Grief is a universal human experience and all of us are familiar with the feelings of pain and sadness following a loss. We read about tragedies every day in the newspapers, see them on TV, hear about misfortunes from friends or experience a loss of someone dear to us through illness or old age. Our culture tends to encourage us to ignore death and pain, and promotes the myth that we can all be young, beautiful and if we live right, happy forever. Many have read or heard of the work of Elisabeth Kubler-Ross and other experts on death and dying. Thus we are familiar with the stages of grief, shock, denial, rage, despair, and finally acceptance. We may find reassurance in the fact that the terrain has been studied, that there is a map on how to travel the areas that need to be passed on the road to our destination. For some the travel is made easier by a strong faith, by a sense of meaning and purpose, and by the firm belief that they will need with absent loved ones after death. At different times many of us come into contact with grieving persons at a funeral, memorial service or when visiting the bereaved. We offer caring words, compassion, practical help and maybe even love, but then we are finished and go on with our lives. I was thrust into the world of senseless violence, grief and
anguish with the sudden news of the murder of my oldest child and only daughter. It began with utter shock and disbelief and a slim hope that a mistake had been made. The shock and disbelief still catch me at times, even though four years have passed. And of course a terrible mistake was made; some cruel and misguided man ended the life of a young woman, who loved life, people and animals. She picked up stray puppies, loved children, had a radiant sunny smile and wanted to start a camp for mentally retarded and disabled children. A part of me was killed with her and I will never be the same again. We all ask “why.” We become acutely aware of our vulnerability. The world suddenly becomes an unfair and dangerous place. Our sense of trust, order, and the belief that should we live just and good life nothing bad will happen to us, are shattered. However, it is important to remember that we are all individuals, that our circumstances differ, as does the length and pattern of our grief. What we can offer those who are grieving is a caring acceptance of their special way of dealing with their anguish and a willingness to listen. “Give Sorrow Words” is the message of the self-support group Parents of Murdered Children. Healing can be facilitated by telling one’s story again and again and by allowing oneself to experience pain, rage and despair. Most of us do not realize our own strengths and ability to cope. The resiliency and power of the human spirit are awesome. When I 4 come into contact with families whose child has
been murdered and experience the compassion and caring within the group, my faith in the human spirit is restored. Survivors of the murder of a child, spouse, or friend have a great deal to offer one another and often can be of more help than the clergy or mental health professionals. I would say that probably the most important element that can help us in our grieving is that we treat ourselves with great kindness and that we do not set up unfair expectations of ourselves. Length of time, intensity of sorrow, may be different for each of us. The different stages of grief follow no rigid order and we need to give ourselves permission to experience our anguish in our own time, without deadlines or hurtful judgements.
The Luton Peace Rally Grief, The Human Experience May Killings in Luton (A Poem)
After a crime : Your Rights As we live through unimaginable heartbreak and sadness, it is a time for gentleness; it is a time to forgive ourselves, our anger and self-centeredness; it is a time to allow ourselves to weep, as long and as often as we wish.
Did you know... The Family Impact Statement Say ‘No to Gangs’ (TNVA)
It is important not to allow society in general, our friends, mental health professionals, or the clergy in particular, to pressure us into getting on with the business of living and thus shortening or suppressing our grieving. Well-meaning people who expect the bereaved to become quickly functional, smiling and cheerful again, may do incredible harm and will certainly increase the feelings of loneliness, hurt and alienation already present. It is important to grieve, to experience the pain, to weep and to acknowledge the impact of our loss. To allow ourselves to grieve is healing in the long run. It enables us to put our lives together again as best we can under the circumstances. © 1989 Nancy K. Ruhe Taken from the POMC web page
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The African Caribbean Strategic Partnership (ACSP) is led by an interim Steering Group made up of Lloyd Denny (Chair), Saundra Glenn (ViceChair) and Lorna Markland (Secretary) - set up to redress violent crime in Luton thru strategic partnerships.
Steven Lawrence’s mother (Image taken from Daily Mirror website) (above, Paul Foster, murdered in May, 2013)
MURDERING OUR SONS By Myrna Loy
The family will always be looking over their shoulder, Allowing the family to be left vulnerable, without cover; Their hearts will be beating louder than usual Because what has been started is suicidal.
As a mother Who wanted sons And ended up not having one, I wonder how mother’s must feel To lose a son under a car wheel; Or from a bullet in the back; Or death from some other vicious attack Or like Paul Foster’s children and his wife When bullets were what took his life?
I don’t have sons, but a beautiful grandson; I love watching him grow and having fun So my plea is for the revenge to stop And not to let another body drop Onto the concrete before its time Because what was once yours Will be someone else’s in time.
I mourn for the mothers who have sons today, Who may be caught in an affray; I am concerned by those who seek revenge By assaulting enemies who used to be friends.
Life must be cherished, We were born superior We were not born to kill people But animals inferior The brain we have, must be used to preserve So that we end up enjoying a life we deserve.
I fear for those who unbeknown, Someone is planning to take out a loved one.. And for those who started this vendetta Who really ought to have known better. (Below Delaney Brown, murdered September 2012)
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After a crime: Your rights
Privacy
If you’ve been the victim of a crime, you have the right to contact the police and be kept informed about the investigation.
The police might give some information about the crime to the media to help with the investigation. They’ll normally ask your permission before they do this.
When you report the crime, you must be given a crime reference number and contact details for the police officer dealing with your case.
DID YOU KNOW.... that if you’ve been the victim of a sexual assault or rape, it’s against the law for anyone to publish your name, photo or anything else that could identify you.
You have the right to ask the police for updates about the investigation. You’ll need your crime reference number when you contact the police.
Victim support
During the police investigation
Victim Support is a charity that can offer you:
While the police are investigating the crime, they’ll give you an update on the case at least once a month until it’s closed.
emotional support to help you cope with the effects of crime
The police will let you know within 5 days if someone is:
practical help, e.g. improving home security or with filling in forms for insurance and compensation
- arrested
advice on dealing with the police
- charged
information and support if you have to go to court as a witness
- set free
Visit the Victim Support website or call their helpline.
- released on bail given a caution, reprimand, final warning, or penalty notice
Victim Support www.victimsupport.org.uk 0845 30 30 900
The police will tell you if they can’t investigate the crime within 5 days of you reporting it. They will also tell you why they’ve dropped their investigation.
If you’re contacted by a prisoner If you get unwanted letters, phone calls, texts or messages from a prisoner, contact the National Offender Management Service (NOMS) Victim Helpline.
Crown Prosecution Service (CPS) When the police have finished their investigation, they’ll pass the information to CPS who then decide if there’s enough evidence to take the case to court.
You can also contact the helpline if you’re worried about someone being released from prison. NOMS Victim Helpline victim.helpline@noms.gsi.gov.uk 0845 7585 112
If the CPS decide to drop or alter the charge, they must tell you within 5 days.
Victim Personal Statement You can tell the police how the crime has affected you. This is called a ‘victim personal statement’. It can be used later when the court is deciding on a punishment. 7
let the offender know the impact of his crime. Depending on the surviving family’s choice, it can read in silence by the Judge, or out loud by a representative of the survivor’s choice. The purpose of the Family Impact Statement is to acknowledge the impact of tragic death on the family, however, if the accused is found ‘not guilty’ it will not be read at all. .. that when someone dies as a result of a violent crime, such as murder or manslaughter, those closest to the deceased have the choice of writing a Family Impact Statement (FIS) so that the court is aware the impact has had on the family. The only thing with this, is that the family can be asked to prepare an FIS, when they are most distressed, incoherent and when their memory and senses are distorted. Some families may have problems writing, which could add to an already stressful situation, however, they do have Police Family Liaison Officers and Victim Support to assist with this, or DMK Counselling & Advisory Services who can support the Afro-Caribbean co-victims in Luton.
A personal statement is usually requested when the family is feeling at their most vulnerable and confused, which isn’t the best time, and that is why there are Victim Support Services that can help families with this. However, it is important that situations are interpreted accurately, so cultural awareness and identification is vitally important, otherwise, gesticulations, intonations, and choice of words can be misinterpreted so instead of having a beneficial outcome, the FIS has the opposite effect. This is one of the reasons why DMK’s Indigenous Counselling & Advisory Services was set up. The personal /FIS statement allows the victims to make, or correct the character of their deceased loved one, and help raise awareness of the gravity of the crime, so it really is important that it is written by someone who understands the culture.
In October 2001, the Government introduced the right for victims/survivors impacted by a violent crime, to write a personal statement on how the tragedy affected the family. The personal statement/Family Income Statement is meant to have a therapeutic quality of allowing the members of the family to purge their anger, frustration, resentment. However, it is not meant to be emotive in content, but an objective document for the court to evaluate the measure of devastation on the family. It is important to realise that the Family Impact Statement (FIS) has no influence on the Court, (i.e. the Judge, the jury or sentencing procedures), and some families may ask: ‘What’s the point?’ but if the offender is found guilty, it is meant to
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The Non-Violence Alliance (TNVA) have been promoting peace, tranquillity and community cohesion in Luton since 2008. They work closely with victims and support people who may be affected by violence. They also help individuals, groups and gangs who may be, or are sometimes excluded due to their cultural or ideological beliefs, or through social and language barriers. TNVA also help mediate between the police to positively engage with people who are sometimes seen as difficult and suspicious of the police for one reason or another. TNVA have been researching and studying gang affiliated behaviour for over five years and have now developed sufficient understanding of youth violent culture and crime, the services used and the resources needed to deal with it. Gang Affiliated Behaviour is about understanding why people need to be in a gang. There are many different terms and aspects that make up a gang. Groups of people coming together, congregating innocently enough for many different reasons, could easily be mistaken as a gang. Friends hanging on a street corner, male family members and male colleagues just gathering together for an event or function, such as a stag do, celebration of a football win, funeral etc, could easily be perceived as a gang or thugs by persons not understanding group dynamics and depending on where they were at the time and what they were doing. Over time, TNVA has come to realise that labelling and stereotyping without the true facts can be detrimental to an incident or crisis that has, or may occur. TNVA specialises in tackling violence between rival gangs, groups or individuals through advocacy, mediating, counselling, mentoring, conflict management, conflict resolution, family intervention and referrals to the appropriate 9
services, promoting and highlighting awareness of the consequences of their actions. By using and studying restorative justice, TNVA can recognise the surrounding issues that affect our young people, such as peer pressure, carrying weapons and disrespecting or disobeying authority, adults and their own parents. Restorative Justice deals with the various mediation consultations between victims, the offender, their families and the police and vice-versa. TNVA uses an efficient and organised formula to deal with all issues and concerns surrounding violence. Their aim is to work and prevent violent incidents or crime and to intervene before they occur. Working in this way together will lead to a larger success rate and better outcomes for the victim and better understanding for the perpetrator or possible offender. TNVA say “it is time to pick up the fallen, time to protect the weak and vulnerable�
Gun Violence Gun violence refers to the use of a firearm to threaten or inflict violence or harm. The effects of gun violence in Luton and surrounding areas, cross all socioeconomic and geographic boundaries. Anyone can be a victim of gun violence.
DMK COUNSELLING & ADVISORY SERVICES LTD An Out-of-Hours Social Enterprise
Where Discouraged Minds get Kindness (Indigenous Stress Counselling & Advisory Service for African-Caribbean Families) About DMK Through therapeutic counselling and relevant personal and social advice, DMK will re-create a sense of wellbeing in African-Caribbean families who have been impacted by violent crime or other adverse circumstances. DMK, is a Social Enterprise that offers out-ofhours Indigenous Counselling to African Caribbean Families living or working in Luton, who have been impacted by violent crime or sudden death. DMK supports people experiencing depression, bereavement, anxiety, stress, and relationship difficulties, which are the issues that approximately 19,909 African-Caribbean’s in Luton struggle with each year. THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW Luton Survivors of Murdered Victims A survivor or co-victim, in this context, is anyone (such as a spouse or partner, child, sibling, extended family member, or friend) who has been impacted by the death of a loved one by murder The trauma and grief they experience can cause emotional scars that last a lifetime. They may also experience other kinds of loss, such as a loss of income in the family or the loss of a sense of safety and security. African-Caribbean survivors and co-victims of murdered loved ones, are under-represented members of our Luton community with unique and distinct challenges. They need specialised resources in the aftermath of the murder to lessen its long-term psychological impact, and to help them cope with their grief while restoring control in their lives.
To constitute an essential component of the gun crime reduction strategy, DMK (through Blackbright Newseum Publication) will serve as an Outreach and public awareness programme, to educate, particularly young people in Luton on the impact of gun crime, along with strategic partners, health care providers and community Leaders who may wish to contribute to the publication. Domestic and Family Violence Luton is categorised as a disadvantaged area, and as a result, intimate partner and family violence, including physical, sexual, and financial abuse, neglect and maltreatment of children, and elder abuse, is likely to occur every day. Unlike most other crimes, intimate partner or domestic violence is usually not a sudden, isolated, and unexpected incident. It may involve years of emotional and psychological trauma as well as physical injuries which may become increasingly more severe and occur frequently over time. Exposure to such violence has a devastating impact on all involved, including children living with and experiencing it as witnesses and not direct victims. DMK can signpost victims of domestic abuse and also offer therapeutic counselling. Parents who children who have been murdered, are likely to experience Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), which is an anxiety disorder that can develop after exposure to a traumatic or life-threatening event or following the sudden injury or unexpected death of a loved one. Strong physical and emotional reactions are the body’s natural response in the immediate aftermath of a traumatic event; however, people with PTSD feel stressed and frightened several weeks, months, or even years later, when they are no longer in danger. If left untreated, individuals with PTSD may develop other problems, such as depression, relationship problems, physical symptoms or illnesses, employment problems, and substance abuse. PTSD is also common in children and youth who have been exposed to vi10 olence or trauma or have experienced the sud-
den death of a loved one. DMK will provide counselling services or signpost family members experiencing PTSD. Grief is an individual’s natural reaction to the loss of someone or something that holds significant meaning. Grief is not a single emotion, but rather a wide range of intense emotions accompanied by physical and behavioural reactions. Mourning is the acknowledgment and outward expression of grief and may be evidenced by social rituals such as memorial services or funerals. Bereavement refers to the period of grieving, mourning, and life adjustment following the death of a loved one. Grieving is a personal experience that takes much time and energy and is often both physically and emotionally draining. When loss is sudden or violent, it may invoke traumatic reactions such as intense fear, numbness, helplessness, or horror. Grief and bereavement are often more complicated after a traumatic death, such as a murder, and the intensity and duration of emotional reactions may be prolonged. The amount of support a grieving person receives from his or her family, friends, and community is critical to how successfully he or she will cope with grief. DMK will provide Counselling, Advisory and signpost parents experiencing PTSD.
Compassion fatigue, also known as vicarious trauma or secondary trauma, is a secondary traumatic stress disorder that is common among individuals who work directly with victims of trauma. Sufferers of compassion fatigue may include victim/survivor advocates, mental health professionals, Metropolitan Police, prosecutors, medical professionals and other people intimately involved in the process. Individuals may exhibit symptoms such as hopelessness, constant stress and anxiety, a pervasive negative attitude, and a decrease in the pleasure they find in activities they used to enjoy. These symptoms can have detrimental effects, both professionally and personally, and can result in decreased productivity, the inability to 11
focus, and the development of feelings of incompetency and self-doubt. Vicarious trauma may also contribute to high staff turnover in many human service programs. Learning to recognize compassion fatigue and manage its symptoms are the first steps toward healing. DMK can provide Counselling Services for parents experiencing PTSD, clients can be consulted on a private basis at reduced hourly rates. Compensation: Victims of violent crime may suffer financial stress/loss that is as devastating as their physical injuries and emotional trauma. Crime victim or survivor’s compensation is a direct reimbursement to or on behalf of a crime victim for a wide variety of crime-related expenses, including medical costs, funeral and burial costs, expenses for mental health counselling, and lost wages or loss of support. This would of course be carried out by solicitors with expertise in this field. Victim notification: Most boroughs give victims or their families the right to be notified of important, scheduled criminal proceedings and the outcomes of those proceedings. These commonly include the arrest, arraignment, sentencing, release, parole, or escape of a defendant; hearing dates and times; plea negotiations; and the dismissal of charges. DMK can signpost survivors to the correct resource. Cultural Awareness Cultural awareness is a willingness to learn about, communicate with, and effectively interact with people and communities across cultures. It comprises an individual’s or community’s experiences, values cross-cultural skills, and awareness of and attitudes toward different cultural practices. Often, community and interpersonal conflicts and tensions arise from an inability to understand the actual or perceived race, colour, nationality, gender, gender identity, sexual orientation, religion, or disability of another person or group. DMK responds to cultural awareness tensions by developing viable, mutual opportunities, understandings, training and technical assistance opportunities, and adopting indigenous and other proactive measures.
Black-
Newseum
A Quarterly Outreach Resource that supports survivors who have lost loved ones to violent crime
Blackbright Newseum is a Supplement to Blackbright News www.issuu.com/blackbrightnews email: blackbrightnews@gmail.com Founder & Managing Editor: Myrna Loy (working in Partnership with DMK Counselling & Advisory Services Ltd)