A positive role for Cindy one on one with

Blenheim’s Cindy Thom works as a Registered Legal Executive in town and has been working in the law profession for 22 years.

Originally from Christchurch, she was involved with the Big Brothers Big Sisters of New Zealand organisation, a mentoring programme established in Dannevirke in November 1996. The volunteers match with a young person for a minimum of one year. However, when Cindy moved to Blenheim the programme wasn’t available in Marlborough.

Cindy lost her own son to Down Syndrome as a baby and faced the reality of not being able to have any more children for over 20 years. The pathway to being more than just a mentor and a potential respite caregiver, was about giving back through unconditional nurturing and love.

the spot.”

A training day in Nelson ensued and online courses that Oranga Tamariki organised to get Cindy up to speed. Further professional development was given in the way of online night courses to help further understand children who are traumatised or have ADHD to name a few.

Over the past three years, Cindy has cared for eight teenagers. She says they are predominantly not from or based in Blenheim. She has cared for one from down south, Nelson and one from up north. The minimum time they stay with Cindy is one day. The longest she has cared for a teenager was four months.

“Often the time frame is not known when the children come to me,” she says. “It’s possible that a child could stay longer depending on Oranga Tamariki finding a permanent caregiver for them.”

In her first year as an ‘on call’ respite caregiver Oranga Tamariki informed her she had accumulated 155 days.

“My sister sent me a leaflet about becoming a respite caregiver for Oranga Tamariki. So I sent them an email, just before lockdown and three months later I was a caregiver,” she says. Respite caregivers are part of a community of people who care for a child or young person. Every so often they step in for a short period of time, so that everyone can have a break. They offer a ‘second’ home, where children or tamariki can continue to feel safe, loved and cared for.

Volunteering as a respite caregiver involves Oranga Tamariki obtaining a police check, home visits (to check the home environment with regards to ‘feel’ or safety i.e. medication locked away or sharp knives locked away) and discussions with the caregiver around potential or suitable care options available whether caring for younger or older children and their respective circumstances.

“There were at the time enough caregivers for really young children. But they were struggling for respite caregivers for teenagers, the 10 - 17-year-old bracket,” she says. “With working full time I wasn’t able to look after a youngster because I just didn’t have that option. Looking after teenagers was a better fit, perfect and I pretty much signed up on

Creating a rapport and relationship with the teenagers she cares for certainly helps with the wholehearted love and personality that is her own dog, Gus, a Shih Tzu toy poodle.

“Instantly there is no tension,” she says.

“The minute they walk in the door Gus is greeting them, his tail is wagging and he’s saying hello. For the grumpiest looking teenager they can’t help but break a smile. Gus will jump up on their bed and make himself known.”

Cindy says initial conversations with those she cares for are around expectations. Why are they here and having ‘each other’s back’.

“The first child I had was for five weeks and I was emotionally spent. I rang the social worker and said all these feelings had come out on why I wasn’t the one to have my own children. Yet there were other people out there who didn’t look after their children. I actually got quite angry at the world,” she says.

“Oranga Tamariki was amazing and provided a counselling service and offered it to me. I took it and saw someone. That helped put things into perspective for me.”

Every month Cindy gets communication from her social worker to discuss what her plans are with being away for the month and what her availability is. They then place her on the ‘on call’ respite caregiver list.

This year Cindy says she has had a few children through her door who have been ‘mentally troubled’ resulting in Cindy ‘crying for them’. As a result, Cindy has recognised her own well-being and mental health and has asked Oranga Tamariki for her own respite and time away for a few months.

“I need to get my life back into balance,” she says. So has she ever feared for her own safety or well-being?

“Not while I’ve had a child in my care. When I get a phone call from a social worker about a 17-year-old boy who has been arrested who has beaten up his Mum, can I have him for the night, pending a bail hearing at court tomorrow, my alarm bells would ring and I’d say absolutely not.”

Cindy says she doesn’t know she is making a difference in the life of the teenagers until they actually leave her care. She says she has ALWAYS been given a hug and has never been ‘turned down’.

“I give bear hugs and every child I feel walks away with a smile on their face. My social worker gives positive feedback which is great. I have so much love to give and these children are not getting the love they deserve. If I have made any slight impact on their life because of the time they have spent with me…or the dog….that’s