Blessed Magazine April/May, 2015 by Blessed Magazine Ministries

April/May, 2015

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Honoring God in a Difficult Marriage

Sex and the Christian Couple: What‟s Ok and What‟s Not?

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How I Survived Spiritual Abuse The Bullet That Didn‟t Kill Me

Raped By Demons: How God Saved Me

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Poverty I Divorce You

ABSOLUTELY BAMIDELE BELLO This is a profound teaching of living in great abundance; spirit, soul and body. In Godâ&#x20AC;&#x2DC;s economy, there is no lack or poverty. Jesus is the KING of kings. In fact when he was born, kings traveled to bring him expensive gifts like gold, fragrance and spices. We are of royal descent as children of the KING. Learn your rights, privileges and authority in the kingdom of God. Jesus blessed those who had poor spirits and healed those who had poor health. Learn the system of the earth and of Heaven, and you will suffer lack NO MORE. Poverty, I divorce you Absolutely is the manual for your life to flourish to great abundance ALL THE TIME, never turning back.

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APRIL/MAY Contents Raped By Demons: How God Saved Me

22 I Remember Once Being Brutally Raped In My Dream And Not By A Man! It Was A Creature!

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39 The Bullet That Didn‘t Kill Me! Without Any Reason Whatsoever . . . POW! He Pulled The Trigger

How I Survived Spiritual Abuse

65 Easy to Enter No Purchase Necessary To Enter, Like Us on Facebook Winner will be selected on April 30, 2015

33 Hang In With Me While I Take You On A Journey Of My Survival Of Spiritual Abuse.

„Death Postponed‟ Personal Testimony Of Latoya Jones On How God Saved Her

BLESSED MAGAZINE Ordinary People Living Extraordinary Lives Through the Love and Power of Jesus Christ

Honoring God in a Difficult Marriage

Single and Striving A Single Mom‟s Personal Testimony

50 Before We Start Dreaming Of Divorce, We Need To Fully Submit Ourselves To God

5 Ways to Love Like Jesus

19 My Walk With God Began Long Ago, But Never Could I Have Imagined That I Would Be Leaning On Him As Much As I Do Now

Beautiful Window Treatment Ideas for Bedrooms

71 We Can Never Give Too Much, Love To Much Or Care Too Much Let’s Ask God On A Daily Basis What We Can Do For Him By Reaching Out To Others With Unconditional Love

81 Things You Should Be Doing Now To Get In Shape For Summer If You’re Planning On Hitting The Beach This Summer, Then It’s Time To Get Started Now On Your Body

Mighty Men of Faith

11 God Is Doing A Good Work With Them And They Vow To Do God‘s Will

BLESSED MAGAZINE Contents Make Money From Home: Avoid Scams

Sex and the Christian Couple: Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x;s Ok and Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x;s Not?

85 57 There are plenty of authentic and reliable ways to make money by working from home

Where scripture is silent, we must look at Biblical principles to build outlines for what is, and is not, good for our marriage bed.

90 Spring Fashion Finds for Under $50!

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Letter From the Editor

Praise the Lord My Brothers and Sisters in Christ! First giving all glory and honor unto the Lord Jesus Christ for without Him in my life, nothing I could ever do would amount to anything! I am so excited to bring you another issue of Blessed Magazine filled with articles to spark your interest as well as provide insight for your walk with the Lord! God is the center of our lives and with this ministry of producing Blessed Magazine, we encourage you to seek the Lord with your whole heart, mind and soul and allow Him to be your everything As with every issue, I encourage you to read each article with an open mind, open heart and if at any time you have questions or need to contact the author, please reach out to us here I also want to thank our many subscribers and readers of Blessed Magazine as well as our contributors. Again, please enjoy this issue of Blessed Magazine and if you are not a subscriber, subscribe today by visiting www.blessedmagazine.org Yours in Christ,

Laraine Turner Editor in Chief

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Mighty Men of Faith

By Wendell Basey

12 You may have never heard of the Mighty Men of Faith even though they have been singing for the Lord since April 2009. They have released three albums and three singles including the songs ―Because He Loves Me,‖ ―God‘s Got My Back,‖ ―Father These Things I Pray,‖ ―Run and Go Tell It,‖ and more. They have been nominated in five categories for the 2015 Rhythm of Gospel Award for their album ―Nothing But Grace; and received the San Francisco Bay Area Jubilee Award for being the Best Gospel Group and for the Best Image. They were also voted the 2014 Artist of the Year for the Gospel CD Review webpage. Let me tell you about the Mighty Men of Faith. They are a truly anointed group. God has continued to bless them; he knows that their music ministry is not to achieve fame and glory but to do their best to encourage believers and to bring those who are loss and discouraged into the Body of Christ. The Mighty Men of Faith say their music is ―our instrument to share God‘s Grace and Mercy with others. In today‘s world we all need encouragement. We believe gospel music provides encouragement and reminds us of our blessings so we can go tell others of God‘s goodness. Our appreciation to God should be verbalized through prayer, through conversations with Him, and ultimately shown to others by our actions and relationships. We are hopeful that our music will enrich, enlighten and inspire listeners of all ages‖. The Mighty Men of Faith‘s mission is to spread the Word of God through music to the masses. As such, they are willing, much like Jesus, to take the Word of God to a variety of venues. In addition to Churches in California they have sung at the Palace of Fine Arts in San Francisco, CA., at Yoshi‘s in Oakland‘s Jack London Square, in parks, book stores and at theaters. The group also traveled to Nashville, Tenn. for the ―Bobby Jones Presents‖ show that appeared on the Impact Television Network. The renowned Bobby Jones said, ―They can definitely sing.‖ So how did the Mighty Men of Faith begin? It all began at the University AMEZ Church in Palo Alto CA. One of the members Wendell Basey was

BLESSED MAGAZINE invited to join the choir after being absent from the Church for over 30 years. His best friend Malvin Scott in 2007 started going to choir rehearsal and became a member of the church as well. Malvin, prior to that time, had never joined any Church. He and Wendell had previously sung together in a secular group called Onyx. Neither had done any singing since they recorded the song ―Break it Loose‖ in the 70‘s. Their membership in the Choir brought about a closer relationship with God and created a desire to sing just for the Lord not only in the Choir but in a Gospel Quartet as well. This led to inviting William ―Pedie‖ Carswell, another member of the church choir to join them in a vocal group. Rev. Edward Harris who was assigned to the Church as Pastor in 2008 was also asked to join. These four gentlemen decided to sing as part of the welcome to the Church ceremony for Rev. Harris.

Rev. Richard Hayes, Rev. Edward Prothro-Harris, Dr. Bobby Jones, Wendell Basey, and Charles Johnson at Yoshi's in Jack London Square, Oakland, CA

Based on the success of that effort they were invited to participate in the Church‘s Men‘s day program. The Master of Ceremony of the program introduced them as the Mighty Men of Faith. The group adopted the name and since then the group has continued with fervor, zeal and faith to present the message of God through song. They have a unique sound influenced by the likes of the Whispers, Temptations, Marvin Sapp, Williams Brothers, and others. Their music includes a blend of contemporary and traditional Gospel/Christian

BLESSED MAGAZINE music peppered with a modern urban soul flavor that will, without a doubt, help them to achieve their stated mission. Since the inception of the Mighty Men of Faith there have been changes in the group members. Malvin Scott the primary Lead singer transitioned from time to eternity in January 2013. At that time Malvin had become a faithful Church attendee and active worker in the church. He had recognized with full understanding how God had blessed his life and that God had his back no matter what. To reflect that fact he wrote the most recent release of the Mighty Men of Faith ―God‘s Got My Back‖. Shortly thereafter William ―Pedie‖ Carswell decided to take another path in his Christian music journey. Charles Johnson after Malvin‘s transition joined the Group. It is amazing how God works. In a local play about the group Onyx Charles played the roll of Malvin. On hearing his voice and seeing that he had primarily been a Gospel singer he was invited to join the group. Rev. Harris‘s son Rev. Richard Hayes, who sang with the group on occasions, became a full time member of the group to take the place of William Carswell. The faith of the Mighty Men is strong. They believe without reservation that God will remove any storm or obstacle to their music ministry. The Mighty Men often say, ― God is with those who are with Him‖. The Mighty Men of Faith are truly ambassadors for God. God is doing a good work with them and they vow to do God‘s will. They believe because of their faith that God has a blessing with their name on it and through his blessings others will be blessed. On July 25th the group will be one of the Headliners for the 2015 Rhythm of Gospel Awards show at the University of Alabama, Birmingham but the Mighty Men of Faith want to bring their music ministry to your location too.

13 Pictured left to right: Rev. Richard Hayes, Charles Johson, Rev. Edward Prothro-Harris, and Wendell Basey

Contact them at www.mightymenoffaith.com/contact.html for booking. They will bring to your worship service uplifting songs of inspiration. Visit them on Facebook at www.facebook.com/MightyMenofFaith and follow them on twitter at www.twitter.com/mightymenoffait. You can hear their music at www.reverbnation.com/mightymenoffaith and purchase their music on ITunes or Amazon.

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5 Ways to Love Like Jesus By Brooke Lynn

BLESSED MAGAZINE same love to another person. God loves unconditionally and nothing changes His love for us; this is an impressive truth. When we love this way it gives us a certain amount of power we must not take for granted. It means we are obligated to tell people the truth with gentle, kind communication, without judgment and staying by them to see them to the better side of their difficulties. As Christians we have a responsibility to express our love daily into the lives of others. The benefits of loving others this way includes genuine connections, personal transformations and empowering others to step out of their comfort zones and make a difference. When we love like Christ does, this makes it possible for people to see and feel a genuine and intentional love for them. 5 Ways to Love Like Jesus:

Regardless of who we are or what we‘ve done, Jesus loves us and ―he died for us while we were still sinners.‖ (Romans 5:8) There is nothing we can do, or not do to make him love us more or less. God loves because it‘s in his nature to love; God is love. This unconditional love that God has for us isn‘t easy for our human nature to comprehend. We better understand the concept of earning or receiving something good based upon our performance. God‘s unconditional love is an act of generosity and should motivate us to love him back with a grateful heart of worship. Unconditional love is caring about someone without limitations; loving without conditions and doing something to make someone happy without any thought for what we might get for ourselves. This type of love is rare; it‘s uncommon to receive kindness without strings attached. This kind of love includes risk and a willingness to fail as we give ourselves over with vulnerability. It‘s putting our own needs and pride behind us and doing what‘s best for someone else regardless of how we feel. It requires staying close to someone, not judging or punishing them but loving without conditions. This type of love has the power to heal wounds, bring people closer together and create relationships beyond our capacity to imagine. Unconditional love requires we love God first. Only He can provide the strength and ability to give this

Forgive: Forgiveness is a choice and not a feeling, which takes time and prayer. One of the hardest people to forgive is ourselves. When the wrongs we committed can‘t be justified in our minds; our hearts hold us accountable. But Jesus has already forgiven us after we ask. If He forgives us for every sin; we need to forgive ourselves. ―Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.‖ (Ephesians 4:32) Sacrifice: Putting our own needs, desires and wants aside to focus on other people‘s needs and wants. This can be as simple as allowing someone to go ahead of us in line, choosing not to argue with someone‘s opinion or spending time helping someone in need. Sacrifice requires a positive attitude and an obedient heart. ―Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God--this is your true and proper worship.‖(Romans 12:1) Pray: Praying for people is an act of unconditional love. Especially when we pray for our enemies. This allows us to lift others up to God in a positive manner, asking God to bless people and work in their hearts and lives according to His plan and purposes. ―But I say, love your enemies! Pray for

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those who persecute you! In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven. For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike.‖ (Matthew 5:44-45)

―Raised by Strangers‖ is available on Amazon.com and Barnes and Noble.com

Tell others about God: Christianity isn't a secret club. We were never told to keep God a secret; but to go and tell the world about Jesus! It‘s not always in the perfect place, time or at our convenience. We won‘t always feel comfortable or accepted; but it‘s about sharing the message and hope of Jesus Christ for the purpose of reaching souls for the Kingdom of God. ―He said to them, "Go into the entire world and preach the gospel to all creation.‖ (Mark 16:15)

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Be Humble: Living with a humble opinion of ourselves takes us off our own minds and from holding a first place position. Humility teaches us that God created us for His purposes and not our own. We become peacemakers, recognizing every person has a purpose and needs to be treated with dignity and respect. Being humble requires saying no to sinful behavior or responses that want to over-ride our ―Christ-like‖ attitude. We may never realize or truly know the impact we have in this world; and sometimes it feels like we aren‘t doing enough. But God knows best and we have to be obedient to living out His word daily. We can never give too much, love to much or care too much. Let‘s ask God on a daily basis what we can do for Him by reaching out to others with unconditional love. “Unconditional Love helps others know that despite any discouragement they feel or wrongs they’ve committed; someone cares about them.” Author Bio: Brooke Lynn is a writer and a speaker who passionately lives — reaching others with God’s word and love. She is a survivor of abuse, sharing her past pain and recovery to encourage others with hope. Brooke resides in the Washington D.C. area, has been married for nineteen years, has two children and loves dogs.

Please visit my website at: www.BrookeLynnBooks.com

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‗Single and Striving‘ Personal Testimony of a Woman Who Has Overcome

Tamarah Matrisch Being a single mother has given the Lord the opportunity to be glorified in the most amazing ways in my life! My walk with God began long ago, but never could I have imagined that I would be leaning on Him as much as I do now. He is my Husband, Father to my eight year old Son and provider for our every need. My journey as a single Mother began almost 3 years ago when I was both literally and figuratively at a cross roads with my Ex-Husband of 10 years. The Lord had touched my heart and I answered the call. Although I was saved as a child, I had finally committed to living my life with Him at the center. This did not bode well for my unsaved Husband. I chose Jesus. Thus began a walk of faith, trust, and submission to His will for not only my life, but also the life of my then, five year old. So here I was, a single Mother with a little precious child that I absolutely adore, our family dog Sadi, and a ton of hope in a Savior and His promises on our lives. I said, ―Lord, we are yours‖. I prayed incessantly for a home church and He faithfully answered every prayer. I enrolled in an intense Discipleship for a year. Fasting, praying, relying, expecting, became a part of my integral fiber. I was being pruned as He depicts in my favorite scripture, John 15. Financial strain mounted, but I continued to tithe, knowing that He was faithful to bless us. Then, there was the diagnosis. I had a lump on my left breast. I thought to myself, ―what about my Son‖. God reassured yet again. I am healer, awesome, in power. I trusted Him, believed. Even prayed while in the waiting room at the breast center with other women who were utterly terrified. Yet, I was calm. Peace beyond understanding had overcome me, much as it often had. 3 other lumps appeared. All were examined. Post sonograms, a biopsy, and several mammograms breast cancer was ruled out. Praise the Lord! However, I was diagnosed with a rare

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autoimmune disease. Again, I trusted that by His stripes, I am healed. I believe! Indeed, I was. Remission set in, no more discomfort, relief. Throughout all of these events, I graduated with my undergrad in Education Studies, Magna Cum Laude, made Deans list several times. The Lord is so good! Today I am wrapping up the last couple of semesters for my Masters in Reading and Literacy. My Son is a healthy, well rounded, academically sound, Jesus loving little boy who smiles just as much as his Mama. The joy of the Lord resonates through us every day! I started out with very humble beginnings, having been raised by a single Mother, displaced at times even. Today, I glorify the Lord by serving in ministry and feeding the homeless. To kneel at His feet is the highest of places. Never ever give up! God is not done with you yet. As long as you are breathing, He has a purpose for your life. The future is bright. I am confident that He who began a good work in me will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. â&#x20AC;&#x201C;Philippians 1:6

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Raped By Demons:

I want to thank God through His son Jesus Christ for saving me. For where God brought me from, nobody else could. Nobody! I was in a terrible situation; oppressed by the devil and sexually misused by his demons, and when I say sexually misused by demons, I mean just that.

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How God Saved Me By: Rhoda Wangui

I will tell you just a little bit of my background so that you can understand better what I am talking about. I was born 34 years ago (as of 2011) in Kenya. I was brought up in a Christian home, though my mother was not born again until I was around 12 years old. We lived in my grandfatherâ&#x20AC;&#x2DC;s ancestral land which

24 was shared by my father‘s brothers and near relatives. For some reason that has no explanation in this world; my father‘s brothers hated my mother and us kids. My dad was in the military far from home, and we lived in the midst of our relatives and yet our worst enemies. As things go, my dad died in 1994 and my father‘s family was so happy because they were eagerly waiting for our total demise. But God is good. They waited in vain, for there were 12 of us and the youngest only 9 years at that time, my mum with the help of her God, who I heard her cry to all my life, saw her through. She took us all to school and college for those who wanted to go. It was hard, but my mother was a woman of faith. She knew her weaknesses and knew that the whole village was eagerly watching to see her fail. Her God did not fail her. It was watching her, listening to her praying as many times as she could every night while the rest of us were sleeping, that I first got stirred for God. The Bible says that "faith comes by hearing and by hearing the word of God." Through watching my mother‘s answered prayers, I came to know what God can do. But that did not make me long for a personal relationship with Jesus myself. I told myself my mother will always be there to pray for me; (I thank God that she still is and still prays for me). But God loved me and He called me when I was in my early twenties, but I have to admit that I really never understood what a personal relationship with Him was. I remembered back then listening to people‘s testimonies of where God has brought them from, and wouldn't you know it? The enemy told me that I really didn‘t have a testimony and that I should go get one. It was the most disastrous thing I could have done, as you will see later. So I left the ways of God and went my own way. In the process I got pregnant by a married man and gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. My mother took us back in and took care of him when I went back to work. Desperate now to get married and get a father for my young baby, I was pregnant within a year. All this time, I had become religious again and in fact the second man I met at church -- we decided to live together though sadly neither of us was ready for marriage.

Within two weeks, he started being physically abusive

BLESSED MAGAZINE This continued for all the time we were together for three years. Many times, I could not go to work because of the shame of the black eyes, and yet I was the sole bread winner for our two young boys and himself. He worked for a few months after we started living together, then he was laid off and never got another job for all the time we were together. I remember looking at where I had sunk, physical abuse almost weekly; two young children barely two years apart with a man who was not only not working, but refused to care for them while I was at work. I had to get up at 5:00 in the morning - prepare them and take them to daycare so I could be at work at 7:30 am, an hour away and in heavy traffic, it would take me two hours. Though I knew God loved me and I knew Him from watching my mother, I didn‘t want to give my all to Him because I just could not forgive the man I lived with. All this time, my mother knew something was wrong, but living so far away from her, she really didn‘t know what. So she used to come once in awhile, but being a proud woman I couldn‘t tell her what was happening to me. I also felt sorry for my boyfriend because I knew he was really messed up, after physically abusing me, he would start crying and say he hated beating me, but he couldn‘t help himself. We tried church, but we still wouldn‘t tell anyone our problems and so after awhile we stopped going. It got to a point where the bitterness I had against him in my heart was too much that once when he beat me up, I reiterated by using a frying pan I was holding and he had to go to the hospital. From that point on he was scared of going to sleep next to me as he felt I might kill him. Anyway, one day things came to a head over something very little. We were so broke then I could not afford an umbrella. Mum brought me one and one morning it was raining, and I needed to get my kids to the daycare. Then my now ex who had just gotten a job, took the umbrella. Being very bitter at him by this time, I couldn‘t just sit and watch while he took the umbrella my mother bought for her grandsons and leave me to take the children to the daycare in the rain. So I took it from him and he started beating me up and needless to say, the children never went to

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26 daycare; neither did I go anywhere for the next three days. That morning he took his things and mine too, including a TV and a bed my sister had given me, saying he couldn‘t live with us anymore. It was during this time that I reached my end. I never called in sick for work. In my heart I decided I was sick of it all and would not go back to work, because everything was hopeless. However, I realized that when you reach your end, that is the beginning for God to begin His work. When I was at home discouraged and hopeless, I happened to call the office to find out about my pay, and got the good news that the boss had been looking for me to send me to a different city on a promotion with a good salary. Praise God! So I took my children and off we went. It was a new beginning for us. We were much happier but the ex still wanted to be part of our lives. He visited a few times until it occurred to me that my children and I had never known peace until he left us. So I decided to cut him off completely from our lives. I wish I could tell you that it was here I realized that I needed Jesus in my life, but sadly I cannot for the worst is still to come. In the new town: single, free and with money, I became a different person. Doubtless, my job which consisted of working in the sales and marketing department of a brewery played a big part. Though I did not drink much, I was always in bars in all the surrounding towns for work and so got to know lots of bar patrons. I loved to dance and would dance until morning. It seemed like harmless fun then, even when one night in a strange town I had a time lapse where I didn‘t know what happened. I don‘t know what happened to me from about midnight to around 6:30 am the next morning, when the early morning breeze revived me briefly as I left the bar; and this was a mother of two young children eagerly waiting at home.

I STARTED HAVING SEXUAL DREAMS; BUT MORE THAN JUST DREAMS Around this time, I started having sexual dreams. At first to me they were just dreams, but with time I realized that they were not just dreams. I remember

BLESSED MAGAZINE once being brutally raped in my dream and not by a man! It was a creature. A creature the likes of which I have never seen or imagined. It was too real to be a dream because even the setting of the dream did not change from my bed or my room. By this time, I had learned from mum how to anoint my house with oil, which I started to do sometimes before I went to bed. On those nights everything was calm. It got to a point that I knew it was not a dream, especially once when I woke up briefly to see myself in a hospital-like all white room, sitting in some sort of operating table. I remember I was very groggy, when two men walked in. One was a total stranger, but another one was a pastor of a church five minutes from my home. They were not surprised to see me awake. I think I got injected once again and I fell asleep once more. When I woke up, I was greatly disturbed by this seeming dream. I remember being very suspicious of this ‗pastor‘ and wanting to meet him to see what his reaction would be. I did meet him and neither of us would look at the other. All this time, I was in denial. I wanted this to be just dreams, but I knew they weren‘t. Another time, my friend and I went to a certain hotel in town. We needed to book accommodations for some delegation that was coming, and we needed a face to face meeting with the manager so we could get a good deal. We met the manager who for some reason stared intently into my eyes. I got really uncomfortable and after we left, I commented to my friend that there was something about that man‘s eyes I didn‘t like. When she went home, she happened to mention to her sister about that manager and the comment I had made. Her sister assured her he is a pastor of a certain church, and so there wouldn‘t be anything wrong with him. I wasn‘t convinced though. Wouldn‘t you know it? That night, I woke up … I don‘t know how else to call it because it was a dream, but I don‘t have the details of how the dream began. All I know is that I suddenly saw myself running from a big bungalow like building to the parking lot. I don‘t know why I was running, but behind me were all these black suited men running after me, and the first one was the manager-pastor I

BLESSED MAGAZINE had seen that very morning. I remember in the dream or out of it - whatever - calling out to God and asking Him to protect me. I remember jumping into a beat up blue car, while all these men and even more were pouring out of the building, looking frantic. I started driving that old car from that compound and as soon as I did, I woke up, or rather the dream or whatever disappeared and I slept peacefully again. (The funny thing is, if I ever saw that place in this life, I will know it, and also I don‘t know how to drive, which I seemed to know how to do when I ran to the beat up old car). Without my knowledge, my life had become the playground of demons. It was not long afterwards that I realized in all these dreams, there was a constant presence. You know what a New Ager would call it? A spirit guide. I call it an unclean spirit -- a demon eternally bound for the lake of fire. Praise be to God that all this time, I never once came across a New Age website, for if I had, I might have been deluded to think that I am chosen rather than under the curse of demons.

This hand seemed to scream out to me that for some reason, "You belong to me!“ Like I was saying, things heated up after that. It was not only sexual dreams. I would briefly wake up under sea. Once I woke up briefly to find myself under the sea with a reptile looking creature having sex with me. It was big and scaly and what disturbed me more than anything was the patronly hand placed on my back. This hand seemed to scream out to me that for some reason, "You belong to me!" For the thief comes but to steal, kill and to destroy, (See: John 10:10), and I thank God that I had been stolen, but have found my way back home. You cannot imagine how I have resisted writing this testimony. I have scoured almost the whole testimony directory of Precious Testimonies to see whether I could comfort myself with one almost like mine. There isn‘t one like mine, unless I wasn‘t

27 thorough enough. But I want you to know that God is a God who loves sinners, the oppressed, misused and there is nothing He can‘t do. The devil told me I had no testimony and I went looking for one. I wish this is not what I found out there, but it is. Out there it‘s terrible. Jesus says if you are not for Him, you are against Him. Who comes to mind when we think of those against Jesus? We think of the devil, but Jesus makes it clear that is the side on which you are on when you are not allowing Jesus to be your Savior and Lord (which includes your protector from demonic evil). What is to stop the devil doing whatever he wants with you? What is to stop the devil from taking you under the sea and doing whatever he wants with you? All this time, I never thought I was against Jesus. If somebody had asked those who are on Jesus‘ side to raise up their hand, I would have been the first one, even with all the evidence in my life pointing to the opposite. Jesus however, does not stop loving you just because you are against Him. He calls to you all the time with open arms to go to Him. Now back to my story. It was not long before I left my country with my second husband and came to China. My life was still as bad. The demons knew where to find me and within no time, my nights were as terrible as before. I hated having to go to bed because I knew what was awaiting me there. The evil spirit that I seemed to know during these dream episodes mostly as a man, would come and get me. During the trapped Chilean miners episode, I woke up to find myself with this man in a building waiting for a lift. There were other people with us, but nobody was talking. I seemed to know whatever was required of me. When this lift came, I realized it was not a lift but some sort of device like the thing that pulled the trapped Chilean miners from the mine. However, this seemed to be within a building. I remember being told to enter and not with words either. I was very scared, and almost refused as I was to enter only by myself in a thing as wide as myself with machines humming and whirring. It was the most awful feeling I have ever had. It felt like being in the eye of a hurricane; that‘s how it felt going up in that thing. We got up and all of us came back. We walked around and I could see people of all nationalities; all seemed dazed; nobody was saying anything. The only

28 ones who seemed to have their senses with them are the ones we found there. I remember the look in the eyes of one young black boy we found -- his eyes were mocking like he knew something we did not. In all these situations, it seems like I used to wake up -- gain my senses for just a little while and then everything would disappear. This time was no exception. All these times, I never knew why I went to these places because I would have my consciousness briefly and then lose it. I am actually sure many are the times I was in places, but I never once knew about them. Another time, I woke up so briefly to find myself just coming from the sea, following the same man. I don‘t mean coming from the boat, (I know we traveled underwater). In that split second I looked around and there were these people selling all sorts of spices. I knew I was in India. Just like that I knew, then I lost my consciousness again.

TERRIBLE THINGS WERE GOING ON IN MY LIFE During all this time, terrible things were going on in my life; things I could not control. I never shared them with a soul but by the grace of God, I attended a summer camp through our local Christian organization. There God reached me. And I remember crying uncontrollably. I don‘t know why; I couldn‘t tell you why. It was different this time. I know people cry from remorse, but it was not remorse; it was not pain, but I could not stop crying. Even today I don‘t know why I cried that hard and I might never know. I cried so hard and was so broken I could not even go to sleep on my own that day. A sister had to sleep with me because nobody could understand it. I think it was all spiritual and a spiritual bond with the demon might have been causing it, and the tears might not even have been my own. This is just conjecture, but these tears were tears that I could not understand, and in my deepest level could not relate to. I ought to have been happy that I was set free, or been remorseful. I was neither. I was just in tears. I could not stop and did not understand.

BLESSED MAGAZINE As I write this, I have been completely set free. I know that in this world there are only two ways to live. As a redeemed, forgiven person in Jesus Christ, or as an unforgiven sinner awaiting God's judgment. As an unforgiven sinner, anything goes; you are completely vulnerable to Satan's plans on your life. I went through terrible things, but I now know what the Word tells me is true; "that all things works together for the good of them that trust the Lord for those who are called according to his purpose." (See: Romans 8:2829). God allowed Satan to harass me so I would choose to follow Jesus Christ completely - not partially. I know that I was called before the foundation of the world, but in my rebellion God allowed me to go see a little of what awaited me apart from Him -- torment. Torment in this life and much worse torment through eternity in hell. The experiences I went through left me with no doubt of what the devil can do. I know what awaits me out there if I ever leave my Jesus and I want no part of it.

I WOULD KNOW WHEN THE DEMONS WERE COMING TO GET ME Things have not been smooth sailing since I came back home, but I have never been alone. In Luke 10:19 Jesus says, “Behold, I give you power to walk on serpents, scorpions and over all the powers of the enemy, in my name, and nothing shall in any means hurt you.” Standing on that verse, I have seen victory again and again. I used to know when the demons were coming to get me as I would feel like I am in a strong magnetic field that would paralyze me. Since Jesus came into my life, He allowed them once to take me, to show me that all the power belongs to me now. I will tell you briefly what happened. I woke up to find myself in a hospital room. I was with the man, who was not a man, or was he? (Only God knows). We were in a tiny cubicle, and I just regained consciousness while I was telling him that I was leaving and he couldn‘t stop me. He was pleading with me, and I was having none of it. I knew I wanted to leave. I went to the door and pulled at it, apprehensively expecting him to stop me. I seemed to know that he was really powerful, though this time he

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couldn‘t have me. He was lying on the floor trying to get up. He seemed paralyzed - the same way he used to make me - so as to take me from my bed. He was trying to raise a finger the way I had tried so many times, but I couldn‘t. Surprised - I just pulled on the door and left. He didn‘t come after me. He couldn‘t even raise himself from the ground. I remember walking in this big white deserted hall, definitely a hospital. I got out and found myself actually back in Kenya in a village I have never known before. I knew the name of it - (I don‘t know whether there is a village like that) - it was so real. I saw some hawkers outside selling small wares like crackers, water, juice etc.; the typical hawkers you would find outside the hospital gates in Africa. I didn‘t know what to do. I knew I wasn‘t supposed to be in Kenya. I was supposed to be in China. I remember panicking, and wondering how I was to get back to China. I started walking, and I was behind a group of women speaking in my mother tongue; typical village women; they might have been going to get firewood. I remember wanting to know whether I was real, and so I said hello to them, in my mother tongue. They said hello back. Just to validate everything, I asked them which place that was. The one I addressed took a step back and whispered to her friend and they all started laughing. It was then I realized I was dressed in some sort of school uniform; maybe a local high school and the women might have recognized the uniform and thought I had totally lost it. I got scared and hurried away from them, because I knew if they told other people what I had just asked, I might draw a lot of attention and I knew I wanted to be back in China, in bed next to my husband. I hurried off and branched off from the main road, still frantic about how I was to get to China, when suddenly I just disappeared from there and found myself back in bed in China.

had with the two pastors, I have not been so trusting. There are many wolves in sheep‘s clothing, I am sad to say. Also most people would have told me I was delusional or it was just some bad dreams. But I thank God for though even now I don‘t understand it, He knew and understood and saved me.

There is no one like our God. Where He has brought me from no one else could. I didn‘t even understand what was happening in my life let alone ask anyone for help. It has been almost a year since I came back to Jesus. In a country where church service is allowed for only one hour every Sunday, I have relied a lot on the internet, and God has led me to so many wonderful websites. I am also sad to say that with the episodes I

The Bible tells us: Flee from the devil and he will flee from us (See: James 4:7). Are you ‗fleeing from the devil?‘ If you are not seeking to have a daily personal relationship with Jesus Christ that is pleasing to Him, you are not 'fleeing from the devil.' Many Christians think they are okay with God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ, but if they are not purposing to be pleasing to the Father and Jesus in ALL the ways that

THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS “ASCENDED MASTERS” -- ONLY DEMONS IN DISGUISE WORKING ON SATAN‟S BEHALF Incidentally, since then, in my quest for answers, I have learned about the demonic infested New Agers who believe in "Ascended Masters," “So superior to us that they are coming back to save the human race from extinction.” There is no such thing as ascended masters. What it is, is deception from Satan and these things they call ascended masters are nothing more than demons in disguise. It is all the works of Satan to try to gain control of people without their knowing (though some know full well it is Satan's doing and WELCOME His control - sadly for them once they die - judgment will be pronounced - and it is too late for them to be saved by Jesus Christ). I know there are those who go through what I went through and believe they are chosen by the ascended masters and believe they are here to help them. That is pure nonsense - deception. I believe that what the Bible says, I will send them a strong delusion that they might believe a lie (2 Thess. 2:11), is much of what is happening in the world today. These ascended masters are nobody‘s friends. They are here for your soul so you can ultimately end up with them in the lake of fire to suffer torment for eternity.

BLESSED MAGAZINE the New Testament Bible commands them to ... they are walking on dangerous ground with God. God has some sobering warning for "half-hearted" Christians. God tells His people in the Book of Revelation to either be HOT for Him or COLD for Him, but don't be spiritually lukewarm (compromising). "I know your works, that you are neither cold nor hot. I could wish you were cold or hot. So then, because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spew you out of My mouth." (Revelation 3:15-16) It has been so good walking with God, knowing that He has promised not to leave me nor to forsake me (See: Hebrews 13:5-6). I discovered Psalms 91 and claimed it for my own. Please read Psalms 91 for anyone who wants the Lord‘s protection. I have realized the limitations I felt that God put on me so I could not have fun are really not limitations but they give me freedom, they give me joy, they set me free. It is a joy to do the Lord‘s will. When I heard that before my salvation, I thought that these people are longsuffering, that they had denied themselves earthly things. Only those who want things deny themselves of such things. But I have discovered the closely guarded secret that only those who have a relationship with the Lord know. It's no secret of course, but most think it's lip service. I have discovered that you don‘t deny yourself of these things simply because you don‘t want them. You discover better things to pursue and pursuing earthly things makes one feel limited. Why? Because the things of the spirit are limitless. How much love can you have? How much peace can you have? How much humility can you have? What about righteousness? But you can have three cars, a million dollars, or four houses. Who wants four houses while one can have limitless righteousness? Not me, thank you. I know I need a house to live in, a car to get around, money to take care of my needs, but believe me, you don‘t have to pursue that with no time nor interest in purposing to be pleasing to God. For the word of the Lord tells us to seek ye first the Kingdom of heaven and all its righteousness and all other things shall be added unto us (See: Matt. 6:33). I pray that God will give His people wisdom - me included - and give us understanding what this verse means so that we can do as it says and wait upon Him to bring about what we need in this life.

31 I have chosen to cling to the Lord because I know who He is and who the enemy is. I pray that you never like me say you have no testimony and go out to get one, because if the enemy had had his way, I would be dead now, and in hell. Take it from me … never want more testimony than GOD gives you. If you do, seek God more so He can give you more revelation so that your testimony can be from Him. I especially talk to the young here if anyone is reading this. We look at the fun others are having and want a part of it. Seek God and tell Him to give you a testimony. There is nothing He cannot give you. I did get a testimony but it was through such a shameful process that had it been left to me, I would never tell anyone, but this morning the Lord quickened my heart to write it. Perhaps someone will read it and help understand what is happening to them, or read it and give their life to Jesus Christ. Don‘t take spiritual things lightly. If you ask me, I can never tell you when my life took such a turn. It just did, seemingly out of the blue. May God guide His people and save the New Agers and all those that talk about ascended masters and spirit guides, and may they see them for the demonic deception/control that they are ... for the glory and honor of His name. To God be all the glory and honor. Father … thank you. Use this testimony to save those that You will. Amen. We so appreciate Rhoda for being obedient to the Lord in sharing her in-depth testimony. Please keep her lifted up in prayer that God keeps her from undue Satanic harassment. For anyone doubting the reality of demonic sexual contact, you can go to Google and do a search on these words: Can A Demon Have Sexual Contact With A Human? The first website that is shown should dispel any doubt. Be aware that demons seek to control humans any way they can. Anyone willingly experimenting with demonic sexual contact is openly inviting demonic control.

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How I Survived Spiritual A Pastorâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Wife

Writers note: Grab a comfortable blanket, a cup of tea and a snack. This is just my story that will maybe help a brother or sister in the Lord who may be struggling as I did after escaping an abusive church system.

BLESSED MAGAZINE …I received a phone call two days ago from a family member who had also been a church member at the ministry that God delivered us from. This ministry was so spiritually abusive that the members who were able to escape ended up looking like refugees from a concentration camp – in the spirit realm. Anyway, this phone call was to let me know that my former pastor and his wife sold the church (for a half million dollars), packed up the few members who were willing to abandon the lives that they have in that city, and moved south. I do not know which city that they have gone to, but I know that they are in Florida – Floridians, beware! I at first wondered why they would suddenly, after almost 20 years in the same location, sell all, pack up and leave their children, grandchildren and extended families? Then I decided that it is not my issue. Finally, what settled on my heart was what about those who were ―left behind‖? For the average blog reader this may not apply, but there are countless numbers of Christians out there who have entrusted their lives, their souls, their spirits, their families and their livelihood to someone who has spiritually abused them. You may think, ―why their souls and spirits?‖, well I say that because in our naivete we tend to trust the Pastor rather than to acknowledge God for ourselves; spiritual abusers make us think that they have a greater connection to God than we ever could and we buy into that philosophy out of spiritual ignorance. Once you come out of the abusive system, there may be a sense of, ―Now what, where do I go? what do I do? Who can I trust?‖ I know this because I was there. Hang in with me while I take you on a journey of my survival of spiritual abuse. I remember avidly searching the Word of God when I first left the ministry hoping to find something that would explain to me why I felt the way that I felt. I believed that something was wrong with me because that is what we had been taught; that those who left were in direct disobedience to God because He had placed us in that ministry. At the time, I would encourage my husband to keep going to church for I felt that I was the one with the problem, not him and certainly not the Pastor and ministry. I felt that my spirit wasn‘t right. Because of my ignorance of the Word I could not find reconciliation for my feelings, so I stopped searching. I would only pray because it was all that I knew how to do. There were no answers forthcoming from God, I thought, my church ―family‖ had turned their backs on me…including my parents at the time, my blood family had long ago turned their backs on me. I had no outlets, no one to talk to, no one that I thought would understand my point of view. I was spiritually adrift. At the time I was pregnant with my youngest son and I remembered acquiring a copy of the book, The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse by D. Johnson & J. VanVonderen, and I read it voraciously, often times

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grabbing my husband and begging him to read passages in it, because in it I saw our former ministry and ourselves. By the time I finished reading that book (in one day) I was a puddle of tears. However I knew then that it was not me, and certainly not God who was flawed, it was that church system and the man who ruled over it. I did not know at the time that it was a pervasive spirit that had taken over a lot of churches making them dens of iniquity. Ironically, despite this new revelation I still partially blamed myself. I had always been a fiercely independent young woman, I had traveled to many different countries exploring on my own. I had met many people of differing cultures and languages and was able to interact with them seamlessly. In the world. When I gave my life to Christ I let all of my worldly knowledge go, along with that went my instincts. Usually I could smell a predator coming a mile away, and I would pride myself on my instincts and street smarts. Since I am being honest here, I *never*really liked or trusted my pastor fully, there was just something a bit smarmy about him. I did really love his first lady though, and I loved and trusted my mother who brought me into the ministry. While I could sit here and say that the ministry was all bad because of my personal experience, that would be a lie. Many good things came out of it to include: Meeting my awesome husband! Really learning how to minister to others who have yet to learn of Jesus Christ. Learning love, patience, temperance, kindness, meekness, humility. Learning to give of myself without expecting anything in return (selflessness). Gifts and callings are without repentance and I got a lot from many of the sermons delivered. However, the bad definitely outweighed the good in that place. The irony is that when I first joined the ministry many unsaved people warned me about both it and the pastor, but being quickly indoctrinated into the ministry I dismissed their concerns as envy that I was into God and they weren‘t. Foolishness! So back to my main point, how did I recover? The first thing that I had to do was to get real with myself and understand that I did nothing wrong in trusting the supposed man of God. It was he who was in err; however, I was naive and ignorant in the ways of God and depended on someone else for my spiritual direction instead of seeking it for myself. A big mistake that I made was retreating. I did not want to talk to anyone about what happened in that ministry, and how violated I felt. My husband and I were both victims, but I blamed myself because it was my fault for ―bringing him there‖. I should have found another pastor to confide in or possibly a counselor. I did neither, but I did begin to pray to God more, even when it hurt, I prayed Forgive, forgive, forgive! Not only the pastor who betrayed the trust that I had placed in him for my spiritual welfare, but the others who I considered family who turned their backs on us as if we never existed. I had to realize that they too were under the same demonic influence that I was, so they walked lock step with the direction of their leader. I did not join or even go to another ministry for a while. I believe that this was important for my recovery because for one I had an extreme distrust of pastors and ministers for a while, and also because I did not want the bitterness that I held for my former pastor to carry over somewhere else, and until God healed me I would not be good for another ministry. Another reason was because I did not want to expose our

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children to just any type of ministry. I prayed constantly for the place that the Lord wanted us to settle. It was not overnight, it took years. I sought restoration. This was crucial for my spiritual recovery, and was not to be entrusted to just anyone; I had constant encouragement from my husband, but I knew that he had his own pain to deal with, so many times I would fast and pray for God to restore my faith in Him and that He would heal the brokenness. I knew that only God would be able to restore, rebuild and renew me, and He did, but again it was not an overnight process. I knew when I married my husband that he was called to Pastor, and even after we left the abusive church system he would not acknowledge the call that God had placed upon him. At the time I didn‘t blame him because he did not want to become what we had escaped from. With years of nurturing through the Word of life and the ministering to his spirit, I can see how God has changed his mindset. We also understand now why God had us go through what we went through; we had to understand this end time ministry to help others during this great falling away. Many people are walking about as spiritual abuse victims, afraid to speak out or seek help. For those in my former ministry who were left behind, my prayer is that they will seek the true Savior, and that their walk will be in Him from this point forward. What God is saying to those of us who are/have been victims of spiritual abuse: Gal. 5:1, Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free , and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage. AND

Jer. 29: 11-14, For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you. And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart. And I will be found of you, saith the LORD: and I will turn away your captivity, and I will gather you from all the nations, and from all the places whither I have driven you, saith the LORD; and I will bring you again into the place whence I caused you to be carried away captive. A Pastor‘s Wife

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The Bullet That

By: Ron Scott

Didn‟t Kill Me

40 The shooting happened at the house where my buddy John and I were living. John's three-yearold boy, Timothy, lived with him. A friend of John's, Debbie, came over a lot and babysat Timmy while John was at work. John was going to marry Debbie. On Tuesday, January 6, 1980, I had the day off work. All I wanted to do was relax and go to bed. I went home, turned the TV on low, and began watching it. Debbie was sleeping already, which she never did. (I found out later from John that she had been sick earlier that day. She must have been in bed by 8:30 that evening, along with Timmy.) I went in my room, got undressed, and started watching the basketball game. I remember the Atlanta Hawks were playing. About 15 minutes later I got a phone call from one of the guys from the city football team. We were going to go up north for one of the league meetings the following Saturday. We talked about 10 minutes and then I hung up the phone and got back into bed. Another 10 or 15 minutes later I heard a knock at the door. (What I normally had done as common practice when someone came to the door was pick up my .38 caliber pistol and load it before I opened the door. I never kept it loaded otherwise. I kept the bullets in one spot and the pistol in another so Timmy would never get at it.) So, I went to the door, and like always, had the pistol hid behind my back. If it were someone who had to come in I would just say, "excuse the gun." The reason why I did it was because there had been a ring of guys in the neighborhood who were raping girls. So here this guy was at the door, asking about some pictures John was going to develop for him where John worked. He asked me if I was John's brother. I said, "No, we're just good buddies." We talked a couple of minutes and then he wanted to know where he could get a hold of him. I said he'd be back the next day. Then the guy left.

BLESSED MAGAZINE I took the bullets out of the gun and put them back. Then I slipped back into bed. That was close to 10 p.m. I was lying there when suddenly a few minutes later the phone rang. I heard Debbie wake up and answer it. I couldn't hear what she was saying. All I could hear was her voice. Shortly thereafter she hung up, and I tried to go back to sleep again. Then all of a sudden, KNOCK - KNOCK again on the back door. Now by this time I was frustrated! I'd been trying to get to sleep since 9 p.m. So instead of getting up and getting my pistol and loading it, I got up and went stomping all the way to the back door, mumbling to myself about WHO it could be this time! I opened the door, and here's some guy dressed in a long, full-length leather coat, and he has another guy with him. He asked me, "Is John here?― "No," I said.

"Is Debbie here?" he asked "Yes," I said, "So ... what's the deal?― "Well," he said, "John bought a camera from me, and he wanted me to get him another lens, and I couldn't get the lens, so he was going to give me $35.00 more, but I'm just going to give him the camera because I can't find the lens. I can't get a lens for him.―

Now, because John and I had been taking some amateur pictures together at that time, this all sounded legitimate to me. I didn't question that the guy had a valid reason for coming. This sounds alright to me, I'm thinking to myself. The guy looked sort of familiar anyway, although I didn't know him; neither one of them. I thought a moment -- it seemed okay -- it was cold out there, so I said, "Come on in." I was being polite. I walked back into the other room and asked Debbie about the camera. She mumbled from

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broken sleep, "I don't know nothing about any camera." So I thought to myself; wow, this doesn't sound right.

baby if you don't tell me where those guns are!―

I had the camera in my hand, and I walked into the other room. He followed after me. I then turned around and came back into the kitchen. He did likewise. By that time I was looking closer at the camera and I noticed. It was too late then. The lens was a fixed lens. It couldn't come off anyway! There was no exchanging of lens possible.

Now when she said that, I knew she didn't know, because she didn't give a darn about those guns. Her attitude prior to that was that you could take those guns and throw them as far as you could. If she had known where any of those guns were, she would have told him.

Two seconds later he pulled out a gun and shoved it right up to my left temple. He was on my left side, and he told me: "Go in the other room." We went back into the room where Debbie was and he sat down perpendicular to Debbie at the foot of the bed. Then he pointed the gun at my forehead; touching it, right in the center, and started asking me about some collectors' guns. He said, "I want the rifle with the scope on it. Where is it?!― I said, "Hey, they aren't here." My buddy had a .41 magnum pistol, and had taken it to Riley's Hardware (Grand Rapids, MI) for a reblueing job so it was being worked on at that time. The other one, the .357 magnum, was there, and I had my .38 pistol there also. When he put the pistol up to me, the other guy went searching through the house. He had no intentions of hurting anybody. He just went looking for whatever they had come there for. He found my gun, brought it back and gave it to the guy alongside me. The guy was still holding the .25 caliber pistol on my head, yelling out questions. "Where's the .41 magnum?! Where's the other guns?! You know what I'm talking about!" He was really getting vicious then. I said, "Hey, man, I don't know what you're talking about. They're not here. One is in the shop, and the other one's over at a friend's house.― Next, he started threatening Debbie and he also threatened to kill the baby. He said, "I'll shoot this

Debbie said, "I don't know where they are at!―

Shortly thereafter the guy with gun stepped away from me and yelled, "Don't you move!― I was still sitting on the edge of the bed. Now I'm thinking as I'm sitting there: Oh man, we're getting robbed. It's this type of thing where there's no violence, okay? I'm not going to do anything to cause him to do anything to shoot or hurt anybody. So I'll just stay calm. He backed up and turned the light on. All the time though he still kept his gun on me. Then he said, "Give me your watch! Give me your jewelry! Debbie's stuff!" Whatever she had. He demanded money. I had $20 in my wallet in the other room. I told him to go get it. He asked Debbie for some money. She said she had $40. He found it and took it. After that he turned the light on again - looked around, asking about the guns again. He started getting bummed out about the guns. Then he said, "You'd better tell John he'd better give me a cut of that money he's going to get from those pictures he took of that girl!" (It came out later that he was assuming they were some pornographic pictures, which was a false assumption). Anyway, at this point I'm thinking: Wow, he's not going to shoot. Not if he's wanting me to go tell someone about it. Then he started threatening Debbie again. He was standing away from me, and then he came back up to me and put the gun right up on my forehead. From out of nowhere . . . without any reason whatsoever . . . POW! He pulled the trigger.

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The first thing I thought was, "This (blankityblank) done shot me." I mean, this is what was going through my mind. "This (blankityblank) done shot TTT MEEEEEEEE! I'm waiting for the lights to go out. I'm falling back ... I was sitting up, okay -- on the edge of the bed. I get shot, and I'm falling back. Suddenly something came to me and said, "DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. EVERYTHING'S GOING TO BE ALRIGHT." It was either God Himself or an angel. A voice just came to me while I was falling backwards and said, "DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, EVERYTHING'S GOING TO BE ALRIGHT.“

―I'm not leaving this baby! You're just going to have to shoot me!" I'm still falling back now ... and then just SPLATTT. Just nothing. Like everything's gone, And I kept thinking, Man, the lights aren't going out. I've got to play dead. And bang, I hit the bed just like nothing. I just laid there. I could feel this bubbling -- gushing -- churning; this blood, coming out or something. I could feel it all inside my head, and from that point on my body went numb. Now, I'm lying there on the bed faking dead. (I don't think it was too hard. Even though I did perform in a few plays when I was younger I never performed playing dead.) The next thing I remember was that he started threatening Debbie again about killing the baby, and I also heard him ask her where my car keys were so he could look for my rifle. Then he said, "Hey, you come and go with me!― She said, "I'm not going anywhere with you. I'm not leaving this baby! You're just going to have to shoot me!―

It sounded like only subdued talk to me, but it must have been a violent situation because she ended up scratching him, and pulling some buttons off his coat. Shortly thereafter, I heard this distant KAPLOOEEEE, and I thought, Oh no, he must have shot Debbie. After that I didn't hear anything. There was nothing. The reason I say it had to be a loud situation earlier from struggling with Debbie was because when it did quiet down, I don't remember anything ... any kind of noise or sound. My buddy and I had reloaded our own shells for the pistols. Our intruder found a box of them to fit my gun, and he poured them on my stomach. Now I was just lying there, staying as still as I could. A short time passed, and then he came back. I didn't hear voices; I heard something, but I don't remember what it was. He grabbed me and pulled me off the bed and threw me on the floor. He was looking for the cartridges that came from the .25 caliber pistol and the buttons that came off his coat. What happened to me -- when I hit the floor, my arm got cocked behind me in such a way that I was about ready to scream from the pain. I mean, it was either that, or get up and fight! I quickly looked to see where he was: see what he was doing. He was facing away from me. This was the first time I had opened my eyes since being shot, remember, and I looked up at him out of my right eye. I saw that his back was to me so I got my arm straight and maintained a rolling motion at the same time and hit the ground. Then I passed out. The pain had been so intense from my arm being cocked that when I was relieved of it, POW ... I passed out. I didn't stay unconscious very long, and when I came back to, I began to listen. I listened and listened, and couldn't hear anything. Finally, I opened my eyes and saw Timmy sitting on the edge of the bed. He was just sitting there…..

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no problem. I got up a little bit and saw Debbie's feet out in a little hallway. Then I thought to myself, I'd better go close the back door, because it was in the dead of winter.

little bit about what had happened. "A guy came in, wanted these guns; shot me and Debbie: get home right away!" I wanted to get off the phone so he could get there.

I got up and walked over by Debbie. There she was, lying on the floor face down with a hole in her back about an inch and a half in diameter and a butcher knife sticking right through it. All I could see was the handle of the butcher knife. (I didn't check this out at the time, but apparently he had shot her first and then put the butcher knife in later. I also found out later that he had scraped her fingernails off -- he started to cut her fingers because she had scratched him. He didn't want any evidence of that. Her started to cut her fingers but he ended up scraping her fingernails instead.)

After I hung up I remember thinking -- John's on his way now. Let him take care of everything else. So then I said, "C'mon Timmy.â&#x20AC;&#x2022;

At this point I walked on past her. I said, "There's nothing I can do; there's nothing ... I know beyond a shadow of a doubt she's shot square behind the heart -- right between the blades.â&#x20AC;&#x2022;

I walked on past and shut the back door. At that point I walked right past the telephone. I was in no mood to stop at the telephone and make a phone call at that moment. I came back and sat exactly where I was when I had been pushed off the bed. Then I started talking to Timmy, and asked him to hand me the phone. He crawled over the bed, got the phone, and handed it to me. I sat there a minute, thought; trying to regroup. I'm talking to myself, trying to keep myself calm, because I was in shock. I could only see out of one eye. Everything was just slow, and I had to keep it that way. I didn't want to exert myself because my main concern was the safety of Timmy. Whether I died or not, I didn't care. My number one concern was Timmy. I wanted to get hold of his father. I wanted to be the first to break the bad news to him. I didn't want the police to call him and say, "Hey, your girlfriend's dead, and your buddy's shot in the head." I wouldn't want that to happen to me. I called John. Once I got hold of him I explained a

We left the bedroom and walked into the livingroom. I layed down in front of the fireplace, an arms' length away from John's .357 pistol. I didn't get it out, but I knew where it was if I had to use it. I rested there until John came. When John arrived, well ... what do you expect. He was shaken up bad, but he pulled himself together -- enough to call the police, and the ambulance was on the way. A police officer arrived first. When he walked in, he saw John with the .357 pistol in his hand, and thought, "Oh nooo ..." He didn't know what to think; what he had walked into. He thought maybe John had done all of this, and John said, "Hey man, just come on in ... this in my gun ... ain't no problem," trying to assure him everything was okay. The policeman said, "Uhhh, put the gun down. Put the gun down over there," which, you can understand his point. He didn't know what was coming off.

Up until this time the pain had never really set in. Once the ambulance people came, I finally relaxed. When I relaxed, it was like a freight train hit me. The pain just throbbed in my head. At that moment the police officers began questioning me for facts. "Who did it?! Who did this?!" After a short while, my brain began to speed up, and facts and details came back. Suddenly out of nowhere I blared out the name of a man. (Later it proved to be the name of the man who had committed the murder.)

BLESSED MAGAZINE Finally they put me in the ambulance and took me to the hospital. In the hospital they lifted the stretcher up to a table and the two guys carrying the stretcher looked up at each other, as if to say, "Hey, we've got to pick this heavy dude up again." I was weighing about 215 pounds then, and these guys weren't very big so it was a little strain on them. Ha - I said the heck with this and raised up off the stretcher and got on the table myself. They gasped -- they liked to choke! They just couldn't believe it. The police started asking questions again. "Hey man, my head hurts, ya know?!" I'm yelling at them. "C'mon now, somebody do something for my head. Put me to sleep. I came down here to get out of this pain." My head was just throbbing, and banging and banging. Finally I told them, "Leave me alone! I'll talk with you guys tomorrow. I'm not going ANYWHERE!" God had already told me that everything was going to be alright. I knew I would be around to answer questions.

Bless their hearts though, they didn't believe me. After that, they pulled a fast one on me. It's called getting themselves SLICK. They slipped the doctor in on me and kept asking him to ask me questions. Finally I said to the doctor, "Hey look - if you don't get out of my face ..." I raised up out of the bed and balled my fist up and pointed it right at him and said, "If you don't get out of my face I'm gonna bust you right in the nose!â&#x20AC;&#x2022; He stepped back and looked at me and said, "Brother, it'll hurt you more than it will me. "And I said, "THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK!" Ha intravenous apparatus and all, I was going to bust him. As far as I was concerned I had told them as much as they needed to know to convict anybody. From that point on I was out of it. They left me alone. When I woke up the next morning, it seemed like I had been there for hours, like I had been moaning and groaning forever. As time passed, I was never told right away what my chances of completely recovering were. It kind of irritated me too. They sort of treated me like a kid.

45 Finally I had to say, "Tell ME what's going on. I wanna know." They told me I was in serious, serious condition. And the first few days they kept me on I-V's. I couldn't eat anything. Food was the last thing I wanted. They took x-rays of all kinds of my head. Three days after I had been in the hospital I was told that a man had shot two police officers down at the Hall of Justice in Grand Rapids, MI, and he was apprehended. They found him with my .38 pistol, the one he had taken from me, along with a shoulder holster of mine. That automatically linked him with the shooting of Debbie and myself. (Incidentally, it was the same name of the guy I had given the police the night I was shot.) Six days after the shooting they operated on me. Just prior to the operation I was able to get up out of bed; sit down -- stand up. I couldn't walk around very well but I could walk if I had to. The operation lasted 6 hours. What they did, they shaved all my hair off. They started right behind a section of my ear and cut all the way across the top of my head, just behind the hair line, over to my other ear. Then they peeled all the skin off my forehead and peeled it down to my nose. They drilled about 8 holes in my forehead and then sawed a rectangular piece out of my skull and took it out. The bullet had gone in at a trajectory. It went through the front part of my brain and ricocheted off some bone in my nose and traveled back into my center sinus cavity. It stopped 1/16 of an inch from the rear cranial cavity and lodged in a bone area right there. I woke up in the intensive care unit. Shortly after I woke up, a funny thing happened. My Uncle Bob and my Uncle James were there visiting me. They came for ten - fifteen minutes to visit. Then my Uncle James' son came in, Tracy. We talked briefly. I asked him, "Hey, howls basketball? You still on the basketball team?â&#x20AC;&#x2022; "Yeah, I haven't got cut yet."

Lady Sowell Email: info@ladysowell.com Phone: 1-888-SOWELL http://www.ladysowellempire.com

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BLESSED MAGAZINE "How many classes are you taking?" I asked. "Three.― "Three? Yeah, you'll probably cut out on one before long." Just casual talk of the sort. Then all of a sudden . . . EEEEEEYOWWWW . . . he fell out on the floor. He hyperventilated! He had locked his knees and fell out on the floor! I knew his head had to be bashed. So I'm lying there, barely able to talk, yelling, "Nurse! Nurrrrrse!" I'm waving my hands and everything, and just when help comes, he wakes up. "Oh no!" he says, "what am I doing down here?― Naturally he was embarrassed, but we both started to laugh. I was in bad shape for three days after the operation. They kept me still as a board. It had taken everything out of me. My head was so sore. Prior to the surgery I had asked the doctors what my chances were of playing football? The doctor said laughingly, "Well, I guess I wouldn't try it for a year or so, you know." Naturally he was joking. They had written me off as a goner. At that time my eye was swollen up like a golf ball. They told me I wouldn't be able to see out of my left eye ever again. There would be total blindness in it. They also told me I would never be able to smell again. Because I wouldn't be able to smell, I wouldn't be able to taste. Prior to the accident I had 20/15 vision in my left eye. After the accident and surgery, as best as they could gauge it, I had 20/100 vision in that eye. Almost total blindness. It was virtually worthless. Within a three-week period it progressed to a 20/50 vision. I could see figures with that eye. I couldn't see clearly, but I could see figures. Within three months time I had progressed to 20/25 vision. I have about 60% of my small at the

47 present time. I have all my taste. Keep in mind, after the surgery the doctors said I would probably not be able to play football ever again. To show you how quickly God began to restore my health, four days after my operation I was up walking around. My athletic sense took over and in order to be excellent, you have to get in shape. You have to practice three hours to play a onehour game. You have to practice five days a week, three hours a day to play one game for one hour. I said to myself, "You have to get up and you've got to work yourself back into shape like you were before this all happened.― So man, I got up out of the bed and started doing everything I could to get back in shape. I started eating again. I had lost 35 pounds in just a few weeks.

―The Lord didn't save me to come out here on the football field to die‖ Three weeks after the operation they released me. I stayed with my Uncle Bob. I went home Wednesday, January 28, 1981.By the end of February, I was driving a car. I started going to football meetings again. From that time on I knew God had saved me for a reason. If it was only to tell people about what had happened to me and that I was saved and spared from death by His hand. What can I say? I didn't know exactly what God wanted, but I said to myself, "I'm going to find out exactly what He wants me to do.― May of 1981 came along and I was practicing real hard. The guys on the football team (Grand Rapids Eagles) kept saying to me, "Hey man, you really don't have it; you've lost a step or two." When they told me that, I was determined to work three times as hard. And I went out and worked and worked and worked. However, during that

48 period of time I was contemplating on whether I really should play football again or not, because at one time the doctors said they thought they were going to have to operate on me again. They had taken a lot of x-rays, and found the bullet was moving. (I forgot to mention earlier that the doctors decided to leave the bullet in my head, because they thought it was safer leaving it there than risking the danger of trying to take it out.) In the third week of May, 1981 - four months after leaving the hospital - we had already started hitting each other in practice. When I first started dressing down and participating, nobody wanted to be the first to hit me and have me go down, and cause "THE BULLET" to fall. They nicknamed me "THE BULLET" because I was playing with a bullet still in my head. So I would tell them, "Well, the Lord didn't save me to come out here on the football field to die. He saved me for some other purpose.â&#x20AC;&#x2022;

And glory be to God, I ended up starting the first game. I started most all of that season. Several years has gone by now since that accident occurred. Everything HAS been alright . . . just as I was told it would be when God or that angel spoke to me, and all I can do is give my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ the glory for it all. Debbie's parents . . . yes, I grieved with them. The man, who shot me . . . yes, I pray constantly for his salvation. I have no feelings of anger or bitterness toward him. I never did. Like all of us, he too must answer to God for his behavior here on earth. I know Jesus Christ will forgive him if he only asks for it. As I bring this story to a close, perhaps an additional way to give Him that glory that He so much deserves would be for me to recite a poem the Lord game me. It's very special to me. God got me up out of bed in the middle of the night -two o'clock in the morning, and wouldn't let me sleep. That was in August 1974. I remember

BLESSED MAGAZINE sticking my head out the window and gazing up into the heavens. These words just came to me:

As I stare into the sky this night, seeing many, many stars burning bright; I have no way of knowing how, when that day comes, unto Jesus I will bow.

The world around me be so still, but I shall always do God's will; In that so you do not know, if it's heaven bound you'll go; If this world has got you down, let Jesus help you come around. What is it that makes you do what you do? I know ... it's Satan, putting his hand on you; The Lord asks you to trust in Him, and no more Satan will come in. From here to there ... the way is paved, But ONLY . . . if you are saved.

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Honoring God in a At what point is it okay for you to stop loving your spouse? We can‘t answer this until we understand what love is. Humans often define love to mean experiencing positive feelings towards someone. But this is a better definition for like. When we like someone, we smile when we see them coming, we look forward to spending time with them, and we describe them in the best possible light to others…as long as everything is going perfectly, that is. But when we get in that nasty argument or they really let us down, or they turn out to be different than who we thought they were, like goes out the window. Liking someone is a very fragile, temperamental thing. Loving someone and liking someone—these are two very different concepts that do not have to be related to each other at all. Consider how many people you like that you would never say you love. Like can spring up when we only have superficial knowledge of someone. ―I like that actor. I like that pastor.‖ You don‘t have to know someone to like them—they just have to have qualities that you find attractive. You might like a doctor because of his soothing voice. You don‘t know the man at all, but his calm demeanor comforts you in a stressful moment so you feel very bonded to him. Liking someone can create the illusion of a strong bond between two people, but that bond is quickly broken because like is such a fragile thing. When you find out that your doctor shared your private medical records with your neighbor, suddenly you don‘t care about how mellow his voice is anymore. His negative actions outweigh his attractive qualities and you want nothing to do with him. This is how like works: it‘s here one minute, gone the next. Often it is liking someone that first entices us to pursue them romantically. When there is strong chemistry between us and the promise of sex has not yet been fulfilled, like can hang on for quite a while, and this can lure us into a false sense of security about how the relationship is going to feel from now on. We get married,

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Difficult Marriage

By Anna Diehl

and we still like them. We go on the honeymoon and we really like them. We settle into married life and we keep on liking them for a while. But the more everyone relaxes, the less hard they try to keep putting their best foot forward. The longer we‘re together, the safer everyone feels to let their carnality show. Suddenly we‘re seeing sides of each other that we don‘t find likable at all. Negative behavior patterns are starting to form that strongly repulse us. The wife starts to nag. The husband sheds his table manners. Arguments become more frequent, tension mounts, and to justify our hostile feelings, we each whip out a measuring rod from our pile of our personal strengths. If organization comes easily to us, then ―being organized‖ is what we choose to be the golden standard for success. ―My husband is such a slob,‖ the wife complains to her friends. Since

her friends share her value of neatness, they all shake their heads and agree that her disgust is justified. Meanwhile, the husband is measuring his wife by an entirely different standard that he feels he personally excels at, and his friends are all agreeing with him that his wife is making his life unbearable. By the time everyone is focusing on each other‘s flaws, it‘s no wonder that the marriage dynamic is turning sour. Here is where we need to stop and realize the foolishness of gunning down our own spouse. Where is tearing down our own home going to get us? How is focusing on our spouse‘s most annoying traits going to help this marriage thrive? Where will we be if the whole thing tanks in some ugly divorce? Divorce has become far too easy to accomplish these days because Satan is all about enticing us towards the surface patch that won‘t fix the underlying problem. Trying to trade out your spouse for a better model is like putting a new bandage over an infected wound. Is the fresh dressing going to bring healing? Not hardly, and a new spouse isn‘t the cure-all for a bad marriage. Marital problems have two sides to them, and if you really

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want to improve your situation, you need to own and deal with your contribution to the mess. Suppose your wife disrespects you. Suppose she really disrespects you. Doesn‘t the Bible say that ―the wife must see to it that she respects her husband‖? Yes it does, but if you start throwing this verse into your wife‘s face, God will bring it right back on your own head because the whole verse reads like this: Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband. (Eph. 5:33) So then, are you doing your half of this command? No, because you‘re ragging on your wife for not respecting you. This isn‘t how you love yourself. Self-love is an extremely biased thing. Self-love always makes excuses for how the object of its love behaves. When you‘re a jerk, you rationalize it. When you actually do own up to doing something wrong, you are very compassionate and understanding. Self-love says: ―I shouldn‘t have lost my cool, but it‘s understandable given the fact that I didn‘t get enough sleep last night.‖ But when your wife yells at you, you think, ―Where does that witch get off jumping down my throat like that?!‖ Hear the difference? If you were loving your wife the way that God wants you to, you‘d respond with, ―Wow, she‘s very touchy this morning. She must be feeling really stressed.‖ Then, instead of flinging out some nasty retort, you‘d ask, ―Honey, is everything okay?‖ Sound too unreal? Of course it does, because we‘re only used to treating ourselves with this level of grace. But as a husband, God says He wants you to give your wife the same generosity, grace, patience, and understanding that you lavish on yourself. God doesn‘t say, ―But if she makes one little slip up, you‘re free to dump her by the side of the road.‖ Here is where we like to whip out the adultery flag and say, ―But there is one time when divorce is biblically justified!‖ Well, this argument just doesn‘t fly because we aren‘t trying to please a book in life, we‘re trying to please God, and God makes it very clear that He hates divorce. Some Pharisees came to Jesus, testing Him and asking, ―Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason at all?‖ And He answered and said, ―Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‗For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh‘? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.‖ They said to Him, ―Why then did Moses command to give her a certificate of divorce and send her away?‖ He said to them, ―Because of your hardness of heart Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way.‖ (Matt. 19:3-8)

Jesus makes it clear that the only reason God ever made divorce an option for us is because we‘re such little rebels. God‘s ideal plan is that we stay together. Does this mean that if you‘ve gotten a divorce you‘re some kind of spiritual flop in God‘s eyes? NOT AT ALL. Let‘s not go swinging from one unhealthy extreme to another. No one can say ―I was right in God‘s eyes to get divorced‖ unless that soul earnestly sought God‘s

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will in the matter prior to getting the divorce and received direct authorization from the Holy Spirit. Yes, this kind of thing does happen, but it happens far less often than we pretend. Only you and God know what is really going on in your heart. Your friends can be easily fooled by your ―I‘ve tried so hard to keep this marriage together‖ speeches. But your friends aren‘t going to be the ones judging you in eternity so before you start entertaining thoughts of divorce, you need to turn your focus off of yourself and onto God. Pleasing Him is all that‘s going to matter in the end, so what is His assessment of how you‘re handling this marriage? What kind of convictions are you receiving on this subject? You can be sure that God doesn‘t think you‘re blame-free. No human is perfect, and we‘re all contributing something to the mess.

All of these principles we‘ve been talking about apply to wives as well. Jesus ordered us all to love other people as we love ourselves. Wives are just as selfish as their husbands and just as biased in their own favor. ―My husband is so cold and distant,‖ is a common complaint among wives. But when it‘s that time of the month and you‘re slicing and dicing him with your tongue, are you stopping to appreciate how much fun it isn‘t to be on the receiving end of you? When you nag and mother and nitpick about every little thing he does, you justify your behavior, telling yourself, ―I‘m just trying to keep the house running smoothly,‖ or ―My expectations are so reasonable.‖ But when he voices a complaint against you, it doesn‘t cross your mind that his expectations might be as reasonable (or unreasonable) as your own. When we love each other the way God wants us to, we try to approach communication from a whole new angle. We try to focus on the whole person instead of just reacting to whatever flies out of their mouths. We aggressively look for positive traits to counterbalance the negatives. This sounds like hard work at first, but we‘re actually very good at it. We do this for ourselves all the time. We‘re always focusing on our finer qualities and downplaying our flaws. What would happen if you viewed your husband the same way? The man has to be doing something right. If you‘re not seeing it, then you‘re not looking hard enough. No one is 100% good or bad. Everyone is a mixed bag. When we realize this, we can start choosing to focus on the good. Annoying traits in your spouse are like one side of a coin. Turn the coin over and you‘ll find the positive expression of that same trait. The husband who is too detailed is also very thorough. The wife who is very moody is also very passionate. Look for the positives. You can‘t have Romeo and Mr. Calm and Steady at the same time. Both choices have pluses and minuses. The man who always plans your dates also wants to be in control of your dates. The man who never plans is also very flexible. The wife who is very clingy is also very bonded to you. The wife who is a fusspot about where you throw your dirty clothes is also very organized. In this world, an all-positive package isn‘t an option. But every negative trait has a positive expression as well, and the way you treat your spouse can encourage the positive side to show more often. Before you complain that your wife doesn‘t respect you, stop to consider if you really understand what her definition of a respectable man is. Of course you feel you are deserving of respect, but your wife‘s qualifications are different than yours. What traits does she value in a man and are you showing her those things or are you purposely withholding? Before you complain that your husband doesn‘t spend enough time

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with you, consider how you treat him when he is around. Are you one long stream of criticisms and complaints? Are you always pointing out what‘s wrong with him? Would you want to be around someone who was always trying to control you? We don‘t want to go down the road of saying, ―At what point am I justified in dumping this marriage?‖ Instead, we want to look to God and ask Him to help us see our spouse through His eyes. God views both you and your spouse as precious souls who He dearly loves. Even if we can‘t see any personal benefit in trying to love our spouse, there is the far more important issue of honoring God. God says He hates divorce and then He commands us to give devoted, compassionate, gracious love to other people. Pleasing God is supposed to be our first priority in life, and pleasing God means aligning with His priority system. Yes, there are exceptions to every rule, but God‘s general rule for marriage is quite clear: He wants it to be permanent. He doesn‘t want cheating and abuse and nasty break ups and broken families and kids being thrown back and forth between two households like tennis balls. He wants us to cling fast to our spouses and fight for our marriages as if they are one of the most important treasures we could ever have down here. He wants us to be willing to make adjustments, try new approaches, and change our priorities. Now can we just pull this kind of perseverance out of ourselves? Absolutely not. Can we just flip some magic switch to make all of our resentment and hurt disappear and restore things to the infatuation stage? No, we can‘t. We need to be realistic about this. God is the only One who can help us stick it out in a rocky marriage. God is the only One who can break us out of a sullen ―I‘ll just keep grinding through the days‖ attitude and move us into a position where we aren‘t viewing our marriage as some tiresome burden, but as an exciting challenge that we can succeed at with God‘s help. A marriage is like a field that has many hidden treasures buried in it. When you ask God to make you all that He wants you to be in every area of your life, He will start unearthing those treasures for you, and your marriage will become a tool that God will use to greatly strengthen your personal bond with Him. When we toss up our hands and walk away, we never experience the treasures that God had in store for us. We need to choose the route of submission to God. We need to remember that honoring Him is our first priority in life, and He says that He wants marriages to last. Your spouse is a tool God uses to cause your own areas of immaturity to surface so that you can surrender those areas to Him. We all want that dream spouse who does exactly what we want them to do all the time (and we all think that that is a reasonable expectation). We humans are born totally self-absorbed and we can‘t correct this about ourselves. But God can correct it. God can make incredible changes to our insides. It‘s not about trying to become perfect, it‘s about wanting to get closer to God and realizing that every experience He brings into our lives is a tool that can help us get there. Your marriage is an earthly thing. In Heaven, there won‘t be any marriage. This is a temporary situation that can result in eternal blessings if you invite God to have His total way in it. Does it mean you‘ll end up with some wonderfully harmonious relationship? Does it mean you‘ll never get divorced? Not necessarily. God is wild and we can‘t rule anything out when it comes to His methods with humans. The key is to keep your focus on the highest goals: pleasing God and getting as close to Him as possible. Total submission to Him is the only way to attain these things. If you don‘t currently have a desire to fully submit to Him, ask Him to put that desire in your heart. God will meet you where you are at.

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Sex and the Christian Couple: What‟s Ok and What‟s Not? By Paul & Lori Byerly

58 We are often asked questions like "Is oral sex okay?" or "My husband wants to make a video of us in the bedroom. Is this a sin?" The reason we get so many of these questions probably has something to do with the fact that the Bible does not specifically speak to everything that a couple can do sexually. Many couples don’t talk about these things, and it’s not uncommon for both husband and wife to want to try something new, but each is afraid the other will be upset or offended. Our aim here is to provide a way for a couple to discuss these issues.

BLESSED MAGAZINE adultery (Exodus 20:14, Matthew 5:27) homosexuality (Leviticus 18:22 , Romans 1:26-27) bestiality (Leviticus 18:23 & 20:15-16) prostitution (Leviticus 19:29, Deuteronomy 23:17, Proverbs 23:27, 1 Corinthians 6:1516) incest (Leviticus 18:6) 2.

Where scripture is silent, we must look at Biblical principles to build outlines for what is, and is not, good for our marriage bed.

We are to have sex only in marriage; one man with one woman. (Matthew 19:4-5, 1 Timothy 3:2 & 12) We are expected to lovingly meet the legitimate sexual needs and wants of our spouse (1 Corinthians 7:3-5 - see Sexual Responsibility and Sexual Stewardship). The preceding are all direct biblical commands. In addition there are requirements set out for us as believers (which we can apply to our roles as husbands and wives), which add the following restrictions: Love for our spouse, and respect for the bodies and minds God created, requires us to avoid anything which can cause problems: (Ephesians 5:29 & 33, 1 Corinthians 6:19) physically medically emotionally mentally spiritually relationally We should never push our spouse to compromise their beliefs. (Romans 14:1 & 14 & 23) We should not be controlled by anything. (1 Corinthians 6:12 & 10:23)

LET'S START WITH WHAT THE BIBLE DOES SAY

We are to abstain from immoral sex. The Bible indicates the following are sin:

fornication/unmarried sex (Galatians 5:19, 1 Corinthians 7:2 & 36)

Anything that does not violate these

BLESSED MAGAZINE principles should be okay within the marriage bed. That said, it's important that our sexual activities benefit our sense of intimacy and oneness as a couple. It's also important for a couple to have regular intercourse, if they are able to. While the Bible does not speak to this, science has shown that all sex is not alike, and intercourse has effects on our bodies, minds, and emotions (and we believe our spirits) that no other sex act can match1. On the other end of the spectrum, there are those who say it's a sin for a man to ejaculate anywhere other than a woman's vagina. We find nothing in the Bible which says this, and nothing which seems to even hint this is the case; therefore, we see no reason to limit sex or climax to intercourse. However, a couple who frequently avoids intercourse is cheating themselves out of something God intended them to have. So letâ&#x20AC;&#x2DC;s beginâ&#x20AC;Ś.

Manual Sex Manual sex is using the hands to sexually stimulate your spouse's genitals. It can be done as foreplay, or as a way of causing orgasm. Manual sex does not violate any of the principles we have given, and there are even strong hints of it in the Song of Songs. We can see no reason not to use our hands to arouse each other before intercourse or to have an orgasm before, after, or instead of intercourse. Manual sex can be a good way to deal with seriously mismatched sex drives. While some people think of manual sex as a

59 "juvenile" act of limited pleasure, it's possible to become very skilled at giving a great deal of pleasure with your hands.

Oral Sex Some folks have a strong aversion to the idea of oral sex. Often this is the result of some teaching that is less than accurate, or a negative feeling about the genitals or sex in general. Pressuring such a person for oral sex will only result in arguments and hard feelings. On the other hand, there are those who think they are missing one of the best things sex has to offer if they don't experience oral sex. This is probably due to the influence, directly or indirectly, of pornography. While oral sex can be very enjoyable, it is not the end-all of sexual acts, and there are other ways of producing similar pleasure. Couples who are at odds over oral sex need to give each other some room, and they should each privately examine their feelings about oral sex.

Anal Intercourse The issue of anal sex is difficult to study because it is a primary sex act of homosexual men, and as such saying anything against it can be seen as attacking homosexuality. Additionally, most of the research done on anal sex has been done on homosexuals, and focuses on disease transmission. Given that the average male anus is larger than the average female anus, we would think that rates of damage amount women would be higher than among men.

60 Therefore, while the Bible does not prohibit anal intercourse, there are medical considerations that make it a gamble.

Sex Toys Sex toys cover a broad spectrum of items that are designed to enhance physical pleasure. Because of the variety of items, it's hard to discuss them as a group. Note: we could include things like lingerie and flavored lubricants in this category and the same considerations apply. We see no scriptural prohibition on toys, nor any way in which toys violate any scriptural guidelines. In general, this is something each couple has to decide for themselves, but we will offer a few things to consider.

Phone Sex Phone sex is sharing sexual thoughts and fantasies on the phone, and it is often done while masturbating. As long as this is done privately with one's spouse, we see no reason why it would be wrong, and if a couple must be separated phone sex can be a good way to deal with sexual tensions while remaining somewhat sexually connected. Just be sure you are not being listened in on by coworkers or children on an extension phone!

â&#x20AC;&#x2022;Dirty Wordsâ&#x20AC;&#x2013; It seems to us that it is the meaning of our words that is important, not the sound the words make and what others may mean by the same sound. Because those around us cannot know what we mean when we use a

BLESSED MAGAZINE word, we must be careful not to offend; but in our marriage, we can discuss various words and know what they mean to us. If a couple agrees that a word is simply a reference to a part of the body or a sex act, and if neither person finds the word offensive, then we see no harm in the words

Role Playing and Fantasy This is another area which is difficult because it covers a very wide array of things. There is certainly a difference between fantasizing you and your spouse are making love on the beach of a deserted island, and imagining having an adulterous affair. Since God cares about our thoughts, not just our actions, there must be a line in this that we should not cross, but where is that line? A safe way to approach this is to say it's wrong to fantasize or act out anything it would be wrong to actually do. This means you must always play yourselves, not a real movie star or someone you know. It also means you must be married in the fantasy.

BLESSED MAGAZINE However, we do not think this means you must limit yourself to things you might actually be able to do. If you want to pretend it's several hundred years ago and you are a ship captain and a damsel saved from pirates, go for it (you got married at the nearest port). Or maybe you are husband and wife on a spaceship, exploring the bounds of the universe and the bounds of weightless sex.

Private Photos and Videos Note we are discussing the private use of cameras or video cams. Since there is no prohibition of seeing each other naked, there would seem to be no prohibition of seeing pictures of each other naked. However, there are issues to consider. While there are places which will develop such pictures, this means letting others see them Video cameras, Polaroid cameras, and digital cameras on the other hand allow you to take and view pictures without anyone else seeing them. Then the issue is making sure the pictures stay private. If you have anyone in your house that is able to turn a doorknob, you need to secure your pictures to keep them private. Lock up pictures and video tapes, and encrypt digital photos on your computer, or transfer them to a CD that you can lock up. ―Sexting‖ – sending sexual pictures by phone, would fall into the same category, and would need to follow the same restrictions. If you phone is not password protected, are any sexual images of you and your spouse somehow protected or hidden should someone find your phone?

Bondage, Spanking and BDSM BDSM means bondage, discipline (or domination), sadomasochism (or slavemaster or submission). This is a wide category with unclear boundaries; at "low levels‖, playing at these things is fine provided both husband and wife enjoy them. However, all these things can be, or can become, fetishes, and then are wrong for that reason Bondage: Tying a partner up can be very arousing for both of the one tied and the one who not tied. It can show a sense of trust, and can allow the bound person to feel free to do nothing and just receive. If bondage is mutually enjoyed and not extreme, we see no reason not to make it a part of a couple's sex life. Some people practice bondage in a way that causes pain, making it a form of S&M. Spanking: There are valid biological reasons why mild pain can be arousing. Spanking, scratching and biting all fit into this category. We can find no scriptural or scientific reason to avoid this so long as both partners agree to it. However, if the pain is more than mild, this moves into S&M. S&M: A sadist is sexually aroused by causing pain; a masochist is sexually aroused by receiving pain. Aside from the fact that this is virtually always a fetish, we do not see either behavior to be compatible with who God has called us to be. Desires for S&M may be a result of sexual or physical abuse in the past, or may reveal problems with selfimage or self-confidence.

62 Dominance and Discipline: Sexual arousal from dominating or punishing another, or from being dominated or punished. This involves humiliation and degradation, and again we do not see it as compatible with who God calls us to be.

Conclusion Surely we have not covered everything in this article, but hopefully we have given you a framework for discussing things and a way of determining whether something will build or harm your marriage. Talk and pray together to find what is right for your marriage bed.

Editor‘s Note: The views and expressions within this article are not necessarily the views of Blessed Magazine or any of its agents. Our suggestion for those seeking answers to issues such as intimacy between you and your spouse, seek the Lord for guidance in all things….God continue to bless you!

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DEATH POSTPONED God saved me! By Latoya Jones

This is the 17th in a series of close encounters with death by Jamaicans, some of them in prominent positions of the society

EVERYONE who knew Latoya Jones, even the team of doctors gathered at her hospital bed last year, was convinced that she would have died. "She had stage four cancer, which is the highest stage. She could not talk, walk, and there was no feeling in her right leg. She could only communicate by writing," her husband Lloyd Jones told the Jamaica Observer last week. "We thought that she was going to die when she was admitted to hospital last year June," he added.

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Latoya gave more details of her story, saying that while she was a patient in the University Hospital of the West Indies in Kingston she heard the doctors talking among themselves that she would die.

The 28-year-old primary school teacher's battle with cancer — with which she was diagnosed at age 18 — was just the latest in a string of life-threatening events, she experienced.

"One day... the doctors came by my bedside and because I could not talk, they felt that I could not hear also. So one told the others that I was not going to make it... that I would die, at which point I tapped my fingers on the rail of the bed, and wrote that I could hear them. They were shocked. One of them said 'sorry, that's not what we meant'," she related. But Lloyd and Latoya — who were not yet married — were determined that she would live.

According to her, she was left to die on a railway line three days after birth and has tried to hang herself twice.

"I prayed to God every day for her to get better and live even one more day so that we could get baptised," Lloyd recalled, while Latoya — demonstrating a strong faith in God — asked that her pastor at Power of Faith Church on Grove Road in Kingston, Rev Troy Grant, come to pray for her. "When Pastor Grant came with his wife and a counsellor, he prayed for her and said 'Latoya, yu get yu healing, now move your foot in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ. If you believe in the Lord, yu get your healing, now move your foot'," Lloyd recalled. "I also told her to 'move your foot, babes', and immediately after, her toes, which she had not moved for a long time, started to move," Lloyd said, sobbing as he recollected the miraculous moment. "The same doctor who said that she would not make it was amazed when she began to talk again. If you see her now, she walks, runs and jumps. She came right around and left hospital in July, a month after she was admitted," said Lloyd.

"At three days old I was put on a rail line in Spanish Town and left for dead by my mother, whom I have since forgiven," she said. "A friend of my mother heard me crying. She said she heard something sounding like 'a little puss', listened again and when she moved toward the sounds, she said 'but nuh 'Sister' pickney that?' She took me up and when she reached back at her house, she called my mother and asked where is the baby, and she told her that I had died. "I lived with that same lady in Niagara, near Maggoty in St Elizabeth until I was 11 years old when she died. The lady who found me died at age 84 on the same day that I found out I had passed the Common Entrance for Maggotty High. I had gone home and given her the result and later that night she passed away," Latoya said. She said she slept beside the dead woman and the following day she told a neighbour that the old woman had died. The death of her guardian opened up another chapter in her gruelling life.

"She has an indomitable spirit. We were planning to get married in September of last year, shortly before she went into hospital," he added.

"I had no one to take care of me, so the police got involved and planned to send me to a children's home," she said. "I got away from the police station at Maggotty, reached Santa Cruz, slept on the piazza for the night until I was picked up by police the next morning.

Latoya and Lloyd got married at the Registrar General's Department in Spanish Town on September 29 last year. They were baptised on October 2 at the Power of Faith Church

"So as not to go to a children's home, I told the police that I would go and live with my foster sister, whom they contacted and who promised to send me to school, but instead I had to work in her shop and bar

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as a bartender and I also had to wash, cook and clean, all at age 11," she said.

with a male companion, whom she did not like, but ended up marrying shortly after she turned 21.

When she was 14, Latoya said she ran away from Spanish Town to Montego Bay, based upon the prompting of a friend, who said that there would be adequate accommodation there.

Her knowledge of hairdressing, learned from her adopted mother, allowed her to engage in that vocation part-time and helped her fund her way through NCU.

But that was not the case, as when they got there Latoya â&#x20AC;&#x201D; who had no high school education â&#x20AC;&#x201D; soon had to fend for herself again.

"I started NCU when I was 16 and found out that I had cancer by 18. I had a lump in my left breast from I was a little girl and it felt nice to feel it and suck my finger at the same time," she said.

She got a job in a wholesale store and lived in a rented house. However, the police caught up with her again when they went there to investigate a report of a rape that was filed by her friend, which, Latoya said, turned out to be false. She was taken to a police station and was later 'adopted' by Montego Bay resident Brenda Williams and her husband Boris Williams, whom she acknowledges as her 'real parents'.

"But one night the breast got swollen and the nipple turned red and I had to go to the doctor the next morning. They had to cut the breast and remove the lump. I got the mammogram in less than two days. The result showed that I had cancer. "I asked, 'why me God'?

The Williamses, she said, sent her to New Era Business Institute on Barnett Street, where she pursued nine CXC subjects and by age 15 got all nine in final examinations, inspired by Ben Carson's book Think Big. The achievement allowed her to enrol in Northern Caribbean University (NCU), where she said she completed an associate degree and later a bachelor's degree in education. However, a falling out with her parents before she had completed the first phase of her education resulted in a parting of ways and another chapter in her life was about to unfold. It was after that disagreement that she decided to end her life, a move that was thwarted by a faulty rope.

Latoya and Lloyd Jones demonstrate their love during their interview

"I just bought a piece of rope and said that the best way to solve all of this was tie it in a tree and jump off. When I did that the rope burst, and I just cried and said that it wasn't to happen," she said.

"My boyfriend was playing around in the relationship. Things like that stressed me out. The doctor said that it was a risk for me to have a child, but I went ahead and got pregnant.

The disagreement led to Latoya moving to Kingston

"When I found out that I had cancer, the doctors said that I had to do chemotherapy. It was in stage one at

68 the time. I had my son at age 21. He was born with the rare blood disease G6PD deficiency, which affects male babies only. It breaks down the red blood cells easily," she said. Further problems in her marriage, she said, increased the stress that led to her supporting another hardware store. "I went and bought a piece of rope and this time I tested it to see if it would break again. I was living at Duhaney Park and while thinking of committing suicide I rode my bicycle towards Duhaney Park Primary School. At the time they were having a church service out there at the New Testament Church of God and I walked in there, sat down and the pastor was saying 'somebody is going to hang tonight'," she related. "My eyes were filled with water, because I did not tell the pastor anything. He said again 'somebody in the house is going to kill himself or herself, but the devil is a liar', and he talked and talked and preached, and I got up and went outside to sit. He sent for me outside, but I didn't go in. The pastor came outside to me and said 'I am going to pray for you tonight, you are not going home with the problem'. I just started crying. He prayed and I felt much lighter. He said 'don't make the devil overcome you, don't give the devil a chance to win'. Her marriage, she said, worsened, so did her cancer, and she prayed to God for a man who would love her. That prayer was soon answered with the arrival of Lloyd Jones, whom she had met at age 19 in Duhaney Park where his mother lived. Latoya said she moved out of the matrimonial home and went to live briefly with a friend in Spanish of my Town. Before long, she met up with Lloyd again and began to form a stronger bond, which grew firmer by the day, even after she admitted to him that she had cancer. Soon after, the cancer got even worse. It spread to her lungs, brain, kidney and blood.

BLESSED MAGAZINE "She is a strong woman," Lloyd stated proudly last week. "I thought that he would not want to take me up with that responsibility, but he stuck around. He is such a sweet man," Latoya shot back about the divorced 56year-old who is the biological father of six children and two others whom he looks after. Her stress level increased, she said, when someone at her job told her that she was only pretending that she had cancer all the time and that nothing was wrong with her. "That messed me up," she said. "It sent me to hospital and I had a stroke the next day. I could not walk or talk. When they scanned me, they found this huge tumour in my head and wanted me to do surgery to remove it. There was a 20 per cent chance surviving and if I survived (the prognosis was that) I would be a vegetable," she said.

Describing her recovery as "miraculous", Latoya said that in-between chemotherapy and radiotherapy treatment, she feeds on a liquid concoction of guinea hen weed, soursop leaves, and ball moss (a weed that is often seen on electricity wires and which is also known as old man's beard). "Right now she is an inspiration to the cancer group Reach to Recovery. She speaks... and livens up the gathering by speaking about sex and relationships. We have a lovely relationship," said Lloyd. Latoya last spent 11 days in hospital in March this year, as her kidneys got infected, but later tests showed that the tumour in her brain had shrunk. "The doctor said that the reduction of the tumour had nothing to do with the treatment that I got for my infected kidneys," she said. "It was God who did it. I also believe strongly in the mixture of guinea hen weed, soursop leaves and old man's beard. I feel great now, compared to a year ago. I feel in excellent shape. I tell myself that I do not have cancer," she said.

BLESSED MAGAZINE Latoya said she is feeling so good nowadays that she participated in her school's sports day in April by running a relay leg for her house that ended in victory for the quartet. "I believe that she has got her healing," Lloyd said. "I believe that the guinea hen weed and soupsop leaves mixture has worked and we will continue with the conventional treatment. If she is to do chemo, we will not give her the mixture at the same time."

Added Lloyd: "I dote over her. I care for her and we love each other. She has an indomitable spirit. What has happened to her is a miracle. One of the things that has kept her going is the love that I have for her. She is off pills for some of the seizures that she has suffered from in the past. She has even said that if she hadn't met me she would have died already.― Latoya, the woman of steel, said that having survived so many battles, she is convinced that cancer will not take her out. "Something else will kill me, but not cancer," she stated.

JONES... ―Something else will kill me, but not cancer‖

Jesus is Ready to Forgive Your Sins

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Beautiful Window Treatment Ideas for Bedrooms

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Using dark colors in a bedroom can make the space feel cluttered and small when used incorrectly, but these chocolate-brown draperies set a soothing tone against the lavender walls of this contemporary bedroom. To bring some sparkle to the space, designer Joseph Pubillones hung a mirror above the bed.

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Designer Tracy Morris hung over-the-top, floor-to-ceiling draperies to cover up the large windows in this regal bedroom. The soothing blue color of the drapes is implemented in the ceiling treatment, bedding and furniture for a unified look. Gold accents enhance the luxurious feel of the space.

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Designer Troy Beasley placed white silk draperies at the bedroom's entrance instead of over the windows to avoid blocking the stunning city view. The white draperies and bedding offer a soothing environment, while pops of yellow bring life into the space.

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Draperies don't only have to cover up windows. Designer Vanessa DeLeon hung sheer gold draperies to separate the bedroom from the living room in this studio apartment. A curtain rod spanning the room's ceiling makes it easy to open and close the curtains.

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The dramatic gold draperies create a focal point and spruce up the wall behind the bed. Designer Troy Beasley paired the draperies with an over-the-top velvet headboard to bring texture to the space. The two-toned drapes give the illusion of a higher ceiling, which makes the room feel larger.

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Not sure what to do about that rounded window? These curtains soften this difficult shape without blocking light. Swagging the curtains allows options for day-to-night functionality. Design by Shelly Reihl David

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The wood cornice above the window gives this bedroom natural style. Design by Gristmill Builders and Paul Robert Rosselle

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Choose a traverse or gathered rod and cover the entire wall by hanging pleated window treatments from floor to ceiling. Chicago-based designer Mary Susan Bicicchi creates a coccon-like feel with black-and-white patterned drapes in her own bedroom. Use the treatment to make a small room feel larger or open up a room with tall, skinny windows like hers. Image Courtesy of Mary Susan Bicicchi.

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Things You Should Be Doing Now To Get In Shape For Summer

If a bikini body is what you're after come summer, it's time to start now! Avoid the last minute panic and get your weight loss and diet regime sorted during winter. You'll be flaunting that toned bod come summertime

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Maintain and train (even when there is rain) It's cold outside – but that doesn't mean you should sacrifice your training regime. It's important to maintain the training habits you created during summer through the colder months too. So if you planned on going for an earlymorning run you might like to sign up to a gym just for the winter months so you can continue to train if it's cold and raining outside. Don't hope that the weather will change for your routine, because it won't. Just think: once you're up and training, after five minutes you'll be so warm the layers of clothing will be coming off anyway.

Do planks, squats and lunges twice a week ―Most people think that weight loss is just about cardio workouts, but you have to balance it with strength training,‖ Welsh says. ―Cardio can burn more calories in the short-term, but building muscle helps burn calories in the long-run, as it improves your metabolism every day.‖ So, why these specific moves? Planks, squats and lunges are Welsh‘s favorite moves for sculpting the abs, butt and legs, respectively. Welsh recommends including them in a strengthtraining session twice a week, as well as doing a few cardio workouts. Just remember to stretch properly at the end.

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Lift Weights There‘s no doubt that the best way to trim down and tone up is to lift weights. I‘ve had countless women tell me they‘re worried that they‘ll bulk up if they lift weights regularly. I can guarantee you that this will not happen. What WILL happen is that you‘ll feel better than you ever have before; your heart, bones and joints will thank you, and you‘ll have increased stamina and energy. You‘ll also cut a better silhouette.

Eat lean You can spend hours in the gym sweating and lifting but if you‘re not eating right, it may all be in vain. You don‘t have to become a strict Paleo devotee or a sugar-free zealot but if you want to be lean, you need to eat lean. Also, as you start to train with weights more often, you should seek out foods that help build lean muscle like mixed nuts, avocados, eggs and lean protein such as chicken and red meat if you‘re so inclined.

Are You Prepared to Meet Jesus in Peace?

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Make Money From Home By Mary Hunt

AVOID SCAMS

Most of us love the idea of earning extra income or quitting our full-time jobs altogether and working from home. If you thought work-from-home companies were just running scams, it turns out there are plenty of authentic and reliable ways to make money by working from home

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"There is currently a 61-to-1 scam ratio among work-at-home job leads on the internetâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;that is, for every legitimate job, there are 61 scams." But, there are a lot of opportunities for a "real job." The secret is knowing how to separate the scams from what's legit. Here's a hint: Legitimate jobs will typically never require you to pay a fee to get more information, and they don't come in unsolicited junk e-mail messages. Still, there's plenty of earning potential in working from home because, now, many of the top-earning home-based positions are with big traditional companies like Xerox, Dell and IBM. No matter what your area of interest or expertise, if you have the desire to work from home, someone, somewhere, has work for you that can use your skills and natural talents. If you remain diligent and flexible, you'll find it. And you won't have to spend money on gas or transportation to get to work.

Most of the jobs in this article require an up-to-date computer, a high-speed Internet connection, a phone with a dedicated land line and a quiet place to work.

Customer-service

Rep.

Many companies, such as J. Crew, Express Jet, 1-800flowers, and even the IRS, outsource customerservice operations to third-party companies who then hire home-based workers or "agents" to take calls and orders. When you call 1-800-flowers, you may be speaking with Rebecca Dooley, a retired police officer and employee of Alpine Access, a major call-center service. When you dialed the number, your call was automatically routed to Rebecca's spare bedroom in Colorado. Alpine Access currently employs more than 7,500 work-at-home customer-service agents who take in-bound calls (there's no outbound or cold calling) for dozens of companies. "This works perfectly for me because I can set up my hours around my family's busy lifestyle," says Rebecca, who usually

works 20 to 32 hours a week, depending on her schedule. While the typical hourly rate is about $9, Alpine Access agents who work more than 20 hours a week are eligible for benefits plus a 401k program when they have worked for over 1,000 hours. (Some companies consider their staff independent contractors, so they don't provide benefits.) Other companies that hire virtual call agents: LiveOps.com Arise.com WestatHome.com WorkingSolutions.com ACDDirect.com

2. Telemarketer. To do this job, you need a pleasant voice and personality, and really thick skinâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;you're bound to encounter some hostility. Still, it's a good way to earn income. Many large companies now outsource their cold-calling campaigns to third parties who hire home-based workers to place the calls. Telemarketers are typically paid by the hour, and they may earn incentives and commission based on performance. Companies hiring home-based workers include Telereach.com and Intrep.com. Apply on their websites. Keep in mind that a legitimate company will typically not require you to pay a fee to get information or leads, and will explain how to apply, exactly what is required and what to expect.

3. Online juror. Companies will pay you to sit on mock juries to give attorneys and other jury consultants feedback on cases they are currently handling. Think of these as focus groups. The cases are real, but your verdict will do little more than give those involved a prediction of how things might go. You can earn fees ranging from $5 to $60. Be sure to read all the disclaimers and details. Go to: eJury.com OnlineVerdict.com

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4. Survey Taking I'd pretty much ruled out survey taking as a legitimate way to earn money from home, but then I heard from Bonnie Alcala. She and her daughter Andrea Spain, an elementary-school substitute teacher, take surveys online for fun and a little profit. They are careful to avoid any scams by refusing to pay an upfront fee or other charge. Bonnie and Andrea pocket around $100 a month for spending two hours a week taking surveys, which gives each of them extra pin money. In addition, they collect all kinds of gift cards and other prizes. If you've got a little spare time and want to save up a stash of cash for holiday shopping or even a family vacation, here are Bonnie and Andrea's favorite survey sites: npdor.com SurveySavvy.com ACOP.com ViewpointForum.com ePoll.com GreenfieldOnline.com MySurvey.com

5. Writer, Blogger, Editor, Proofreader. Everyone says you're a fantastic writer, so isn't it about time you got paid? Good writing is still in demand says Durst, especially for online content. For the best sites try JournalismJobs.com, About.com seeks "Guides" in a broad area of topics, and MediaBistro.com. For blogging jobs, try problogger.net. If you have experience as a freelance copy editor, writer or proofreader, go to editfast.com. Rates vary between $15 and $25 an hour.

6. Cyber Crafter. If you're a crafter in search of customers, the internet is your showcase, and not only at auction sites like eBay. DeWitt Young of ObviousFront.etsy.com has had success turning her crafts into cash in cyberspace.

She has a booth at Etsy.com's Craft Mall, an amazing place where more than 10,000 artisans and crafters offer their goods for sale. DeWitt turns salvaged parts from old TVs and VCRs into artsy necklaces, earrings and figures.Colleen Jordan uses 3D printing to create her necklaces called wearable planters. Don't be discouraged, Shapeways 3D printing company can get you started with their simple apps so you can easily customize your own designs with a click of a mouse, anything from a wedding band in rose gold, a vase in ceramic or your own bobble head printed in full color. All for the purpose of generating sales.

7. Online guide, expert. Do your friends look to you for advice on things you're passionate about, such as which car to buy, how to repair appliances or how to make a killer cheesecake? Whatever your area of expertise, if you are also a seasoned writer with an infectious enthusiasm for a particular topic, consider becoming an online expert guide. Guides are freelancers with an ability to communicate well and good grammar and spelling skills. For example, About.com guides write articles or reviews in their area of expertise. They earn no less than $725 a month, but some make more than $100,000 a year depending on year-over-year, page-view growth. Go to beaguide.about.com, where you'll find which areas of expertise are still open. (There are many!) Also try Chacha.com, a new search engine similar to Google and Yahoo, and click on "Become a Guide" for more information. At JustAnswer.com, users agree to pay for the answers to their questions. Guides are paid a percentage of the prenegotiated price per answer and the number of accepted answers received. Go to Just Answer to find out how.

8. Virtual assistant. Many small-business

owners and mid- to executive-level professionals need personal assistants, but can't afford a permanent position on the payroll. The solution? Hire people from remote locations to do their administrative work. Virtual assistants handle all kinds of administrative projects, including travel arrangements, event planning, correspondence and other support services that can be done remotely via e-mail and phone. Lynne Norris, who works out of her home in Pennsylvania (NorrisBusinessSolutions.com), says that rates for VAs run about $25 to $75 or more an hour, based on the types of services you provide. The startup costs are about $500 to $1,000, assuming you have an up-to-date computer and printer. Lynne loves the flexibility. "My children are happy that I don't miss the important things in their lives." Check out the International Virtual Assistants Association (ivaa.org), orvirtualassistantjobs.com and teamdoubleclick.co m for more.

9. Online tutor, English as a second language instructor. If you have a college degree and the skills to tutor students online in math, science, English or social studies, this job may fit you perfectly. Go to Tutor.comâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;tutors who work for the company and have passed their probationary period earn $10 to $14 an hour. According to Durst, "Skype and other web interface tools are bringing English language instructors face-to-face with students from around the world." Tryispeakuspeak.com, openenglish.com to get started.

Tips on how to avoid workat-home-scams. It's not always easy to figure out if a company is legitimate. Try these five essential tips from the

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Attorney General of the State of New York: 1. Check with the Better Business Bureau in your area and the area in which the company is located. 2. Ask questions, including: what specific tasks you'll have to perform; whether you will be paid by salary or commission; and who will pay you. Also, ask about the total cost to you, including supplies and equipment. 3. Be wary of overstated claims of product effectiveness, exaggerated claims of potential earnings, and demands that you pay for something before instructions or products are provided. 4. Be wary of personal testimonials that never actually identify the person so you can't investigate further. 5. Contact your state Attorney General's consumer help line if you believe you've been victimized by a work-at-home scheme.

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These fashion finds are sure to please and keep you within your budget

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Jaclyn Smith Women's Wrap Dress - Floral Print – Available at kmart.com - This floral-print wrap dress features a surplice neckline that plunges in a contour V shape... Fabric: 95% polyester, 5% spandex - $29.99

B - Studio S Women's Lace Infinity Scarf .

Available at sears.com. Available in Floral Print. Layer with luxurious detail in this women's infinity scarf by Studio S. Designed with crocheted lace piecing and a fancy floral and bird of paradise print, this mixed-media infinity scarf offers plenty of color and texture to top off your look. Fabric: Man-made - $16.80

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D - Crew Neck Drapey Tank – Mossimo – Available at target.com – Available in Orange or Multi-color Printed pattern - $12

E - Sleeveless "Kate" Bigshirt – Available at romans.com

– Available in white, strawberry, black and periwinkle - Aline design creates a beautiful shape as it fits gently to the bodice and sweeps away at the hip, button front with pointed collar flatters the face and provides ample coverage sleeveless keeps you cool and confident while letting you move with ease - $17.99 - $24.99

F - Nautical Striped Handbag – Available at chadwicks.com - Summer style has never been easier with this nautical-inspired handbag! Features fabric shell with faux-leather trim. Zippered interior pocket, Double snap closure - $49.99

G - Nautical Striped Ballet Flats – Available at chadwicks.com - Style sets sail in these fabric flats featuring faux-leather trim. Classic rounded toe - $34.99

H - Brinley Co. Turquoise Heart Sterling Silver Stud Earrings – Available at walmart.com - Turquoise heart stud earrings, Crafted in sterling silver. Bohemian and pretty $9.99

I - Nine West Gold Tone White Strap Watch – Ladies -

This stylish gold tone round case watch features a clean white dial with gold tone polished indexes and numerals. With its adjustable white strap, you will never be late again. – Leather strap - $49

God's Promises JULIAN HINDSON As believers, we are spiritually wealthy because of the exceedingly great promises we have in Jesus, our Savior. There are some wonderful guarantees we have been given in Scripture ‗God is our refuge and our strength, an ever present help in trouble‘ - Psalms 46:1

“Thank you for pulling together these Bible verses which are the basis of our Christian faith. God of compassion, redemption, encouragement and hope fill these passages with promises of His love toward mankind and each of us personally. God through His word speaks to the need of his people today each of us personally what ever our situation. We need to share daily, with the strength of the Holy Spirit , these words of strength, hope, forgiveness with others and share his Love with those we meet what ever their need.” - Angela “Thank You This is So Beautiful!!!” - JM “This message is a blessing and very timely. We read God's promises to our disabled daughter every day. God bless you.” - Diane

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