4 Ways to Stay Focused When Praying
J u n e / J u l y ,
2 0 1 4
From Prison to the Pulpit Divorced Before Your Conversion
M A G A Z I N E
Trusting God through the Storm Escaping the Trap of Guilt
“Are you still bound to your past?”
Spiritually Single: Living With an Unbelieving Husband
The Rise of When Jealousy Threatens to Destroy Your Marriage
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Contributors Anna Diehl Virtuous Reality Eliab Mugarura Melody John David Clark, Sr. Jeri Odell Dr. David Tony Cummings
Contact Information Office Phone 917.310.7570 Email Support contact@ blessedmagazine.org Website URL www. blessedmagazine.org Blog Obtaining God‘s Blessings Facebook/Twitter /BlessedMagazine Blessed Magazine June/July, 2014 Issue Page 4
In This Issue‌.. 06 Letter from the Editor 08 From Prison to the Pulpit 12 Trusting God through the Storm 16 Escaping the Trap of Guilt 23 Divorced Before Your Conversion 27 Spiritual Single 31 When Jealousy Threatens to Destroy Your Marriage 33 5 Steps to Overcome Jealousy 34
4 Ways to Stay Focused When Praying
36
The Rise of The Singer-turned-Actress
Page 5 Blessed Magazine June,/July, 2014 Issue
Letter From the Editor
Praise the Lord My Brothers and Sisters in Christ! I am so excited to bring you another issue of Blessed Magazine filled with articles to spark your interest as well as provide insight for your walk with the Lord! As with every issue, I encourage you to read each article with an open mind, open heart and if at any time you have questions or need to contact the author, please reach out to us here We are always open to aspiring writers, bloggers and commentators to send us their work for consideration of being featured in our magazine If you would like to submit an article, please contact us at contact@blessedmagazine.org I also want to thank our many subscribers and readers of Blessed Magazine as well as our advertisers. Again, please enjoy this issue of Blessed Magazine and if you are not a subscriber, subscribe today by visiting www.blessedmagazine.org Yours in Christ, Laraine Turner Editor in Chief Blessed Magazine June/July, 2014 Issue Page 6
From Prison to the Pulpit
By Eliab Mugarura
This was the situation with Eliab Mugarura, a man working for the Church of Uganda (similar to the Episcopalian Church). When asked to be involved in a fraudulent deal, he refused. He was then accused by those involved of embezzlement and was sent to the Kyamugoran Prison. Yet, God had a plan for Eliab‘s life. Just as Joseph in Scripture was erroneously sent to prison, God meant it for good. It was through this imprisonment that Eliab would truly be set free Blessed Magazine June/July, 2014 Issue Page 8
―Guilty until proven innocent!‖ This statement is considered truth in many places of Uganda. If someone is accused of a crime, he could immediately be sent to prison without any evidence to convict him. Unless a bribe is paid, he could remain in prison for up to a year until the trial. The only chance for freedom is if no evidence is presented or if the accuser does not appear in court. Just imagine—a year of life lost simply because of a malicious and often unjustified accusation! This was the situation with Eliab Mugarura, a man working for the Church of Uganda (similar to the Episcopalian Church). When asked to be involved in a fraudulent deal, he refused. He was then accused by those involved of embezzlement and was sent to the Kyamugoran Prison. Yet, God had a plan for Eliab‘s life. Just as Joseph in Scripture was erroneously sent to prison, God meant it for good. It was through this imprisonment that Eliab would truly be set free. Several years ago on one of my regular visits to the prison, I met this fifty-three year old man. He attended one of our prison services and received Christ as his Savior and experienced true freedom in Christ. He was very attentive to hearing God‘s Word and desired to know more. He expressed interest in attending our Bible Institute once he was released; however, he was concerned because of a lack of finances. I informed him that this institute was a ministry of our local Baptist church and that there was no tuition besides a minimal book fee. He was overjoyed and looked forward to his release with eager anticipation! A year after his imprisonment, Eliab had his court hearing. Because his court file could not be found, he was released and freed to return home. What a joy it was for him to return to his family, having been freed from both his physical captivity as well as from the bondage of sin!
Soon after his release, he was baptized, joined our Page 9 Blessed Magazine June,/July, 2014 Issue
church, and began attending our Bible institute. His home was about six miles from our church in Mbarara town, yet he was faithful to walk the long distance required each week. The Lord rewarded his faithfulness through the Open Door Baptist Church in Missouri, which sent him the money to buy a bicycle. Eliab‘s zealous love for telling others of His Savior was evident, for it was not long before he had won his family to the Lord and had the joy of seeing them baptized. However, Eliab was not satisfied with only his family being saved; he wanted others to know of this great Savior. A few months later, he shared with me his burden to reach his home village of Kyahi. We went out to meet the local officials, and they allowed us to use a small portion of land on Saturdays to hold a Bible study. As we began preaching, people began getting saved and desiring to begin our discipleship program. Yet, that was not enough for these young converts. Soon the people came to us saying that they were ―getting lost‖ during the week (their way of saying that they were searching for more spiritual direction) and wanted another service in addition to Saturday. This resulted in our adding a Wednesday evening service. In the natural progression, the people soon desired not just a Bible study but a church, so we began Sunday services, and thus, Eliab‘s vision of a church in his home village was realized.
We then began praying about some land where we could build a permanent building. There were several sites that we looked at, but we ended up buying land from one of the men in the church. As the Lord provided the finances, we began constructing a building that would seat around two hundred people. After many months of praying and giving, the building was finally completed. What a delight for the people to see God‘s provision in answer to their prayers and labor! To watch the progress of the church building was exciting to the people as well as to the community, and yet there was a more important progress going on—although invisible—in the hearts of the people. They were growing and developing spiritually into mature Christians. Pastor Eliab also was growing into a strong, godly leader for this new congregation It was at this time that I began giving more responsibility to Pastor Eliab and other men in the church, encouraging them to use their abilities for the Lord. Eventually when necessary, Pastor Eliab did more of the preaching, baptizing, organizing of church ministries, and administering church discipline. This was a training ground for him, and within a few years he was the acting pastor and shepherd for this flock
This past November, Brother Eliab was officially ordained by the Independent Baptist Church of Mbarara. The ordination board consisted of both missionaries and national pastors, and it was evident to all that God had called and enabled this man for the ministry. We praise the Lord for the work God is doing through Pastor Eliab. It is a miracle to see where he was and where he is today. He is now pastoring a church, recording programs for a Christian radio station, teaching in the Bible Institute, and working on Bible translation projects. His wife is also active in the Lord‘s work and is administrating a Christian day care for over one hundred children. With our human eyes, we could never envision what God had planned for this man when we first saw him in prison. Yet, we praise the Lord for His miraculous saving power, which can take a man from the prison to the pulpit!
Blessed Magazine June/July, 2014 Issue Page 10
Trusting God through the Storm
By Melody
"The righteous cry out to the Lord and He hears and will deliver them out of all their trouble. - His anger is but for a moment, His favor is for a lifetime‌weeping may last for the night, but a shout of joy comes in the morning� Pslm. 34:17, 30:5 Blessed Magazine June/July, 2014 Issue Page 12
I don't know about you...but this year feels like it's been a time of testing! I know sometimes people say things like, "hang on sis, it's only a season." Well, what if a season lasts longer than 4 months, or what if it last 6 months...or what if it lasts a year...or more than a year???? (In a dramatic voice) :-/
recently?
"What you believe about God will determine how you respond...their [the Israelites] unbelief revealed that they really had not come to know who He was...Until you know God as He is, you'll never become all that He's created you to be." – Chip Ingram
No but seriously, aren't seasons only supposed to last like 3-4 months?
Well, I am learning that Gods timing is not our timing...
I wrote this devotion and wanted to share it with you. I hope it brings you some encouragement!
I am seeing more and more that maybe Jesus wants us to get beyond just wanting seasons of hardship to "pass already" and get to a place where we actually find rest and security under the shadow of HIS wings Could it be that Jesus wants us to choose joy, and praise Him during the storms; the sunny days and even rejoice when it's rainy and sunny at the same time? Recently, there have been many great things I have been experiencing, yet at the same time great trials as well. I kind of feel like Peter walking on water, believing God for many great things; seeing God do great things, keeping my eyes on Jesus, yet the storms are RAGING around me! Have you ever felt that way? Maybe you feel like that today? I am doing my best to keep my eyes fixed on Him and not doubt, but I have to admit Jesus has had to come to my rescue and has loving picked me up from drowning in my fear...and said, "Melody why did you doubt?― I wondered how many others feel the same way recently? Page 13 Blessed Magazine June,/July, 2014 Issue
"The righteous cry out to the Lord and He hears and will deliver them out of all their trouble. His anger is but for a moment, His favor is for a lifetime…weeping may last for the night, but a shout of joy comes in the morning. When you pass through the waters I will be with you and when you cross through the rivers, they will not overtake you. When you walk through the fires you will not be scorched nor will the flame burn you. Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeals among you which come upon you for testing as though some strange thing was happening to you. …to the degree that you share the sufferings of Christ keep on rejoicing so that at the revelation of His glory you may rejoice with exultation. Do not be grieved for the joy of the Lord is your strength. - Remember how the LORD your God has guided you through the desert for the past forty years… He wanted to find out if you were really willing to obey Him and depend upon Him.” Pslm. 34:17, 30:5; Isa. 43:2; 1 Pet. 4:12-13; Neh. 8:10; Deut. 8:2.
There are times when you will face some very difficult decisions. Sometimes hardships are brought upon us by our own choices and sometimes trials and pain comes our way with no control of our own. In each circumstance, it is vital to focus on who God is
He is our Provider He is Good He is Faithful He is a faithful Friend He is our Avenger He is our Refuge He is POWERFUL He is our Healer the list goes on...
Not sure when the storm will pass...but let's dance in the rain as we trust that our "Abba" Father will work something out for our GOOD and HIS GLORY! Keep reading His word and keep close to other sisters for prayer and encouragement! LOVE YOU my dear! STAY STRONG in the Power of HIS might!
Let's keep each other in prayer!
We must remind ourselves that God is good and He works all things out for the good, for those who love Him. I know you've heard that before, but it's TRUTH! Stand on it! Not only that, but He also wants us to be conformed to the image of His son Jesus. So more than anything, these trials beloved, are the refining- purifying furnace that makes our faith come out like gold!
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So no matter what tests you are facing, know that God deeply loves you! You can and will be victorious as you obey and trust in HIM. You are not alone sister when you face many trials. Whether it be financial hardships, dealing with a sickness or facing a heart break, whatever your trial may be, know that it's better to be in the wilderness with JESUS than be in a palace without HIM.
STAY CLOSE TO HIM! Blessed Magazine June/July, 2014 Issue Page 14
Escaping the Trap of Guilt
By Anna Diehl
If you sincerely care about pleasing God with your life, Satan is going to do everything in his power to convince you that there is friction between you and God. He will do this by whispering lies into your mind and manipulating your emotions. The end result will be you walking around with a nagging sense that all is not right between you and God Blessed Magazine June/July, 2014 Issue Page 16
Your natural response to this kind of attack is not to question the source of your guilt, but to immediately accept the idea that God is upset with you and then start searching for ways that you can appease Him. This leads to multiple confessions of the same sins, awkward prayer sessions, and great distress of soul. In this post, you‘ll learn how recognize when Satan is trying to suck you into this most effective trap and you will learn how to avoid being such an easy target. We all start off as very easy victims for demons—for them, taking us down is like fishing in a bucket. This is because we are young, unseasoned, and uninformed about all the cunning tricks that demons will try to pull on us UNDERSTANDING THE MIND OF SATAN Suppose you meet someone who you really like and a friendship rapidly forms between the two of you. Now suppose that I‘ve known this new friend of yours for a very long time and I hate him. I hate him so much, that when I hear about how excited he is to have met you, I make it my mission in life to destroy that relationship. How can I do this? How can I use this new relationship to really stick it to the person that I hate? Well, if I can get you to reject his friendship, that would be perfect. Now the best way for me to do this is to make you doubt his sincere love for you. Right away I‘ll try to get some nasty rumors circulating that make you think your new friend really doesn‘t like you as much as he says he does. Who will I get to circulate these rumors for me? It has to be someone whose opinion you respect—people who you believe know this friend of yours better than you do. Who does Satan find to fill your mind with false rumors about the way God feels about you? Pastors and teachers and other Christians who seem to know more than you do. As Satan, I find this all very satisfying. I try hard to lead you to a church where the speakers aren‘t listening to God, and therefore they are easy for me to manipulate. Then I feed them sermons filled with twisted truths and warped applications of Scripture while you sit there feeling all anxious and upset. By the time you
leave, you‘re plagued with guilt over how you‘re not serving God well enough or being perfect enough, and I can ride with you in your car the whole way home and keep going over and over those lies that I‘ve planted in your mind This is all fine, but secondhand gossip isn‘t going to get me far enough. It‘s a hassle for me to try and keep you constantly exposed to my best zingers, and too often my clumsy human helpers fumble the ball. So if I really want to mess up your relationship with God before it can grow too strong, I need to attack you directly. But of course if I come at you exuding the hatred that I feel towards both you and God, you‘re going to go running to God for protection and you won‘t listen to a word I say. So I have to hide my true feelings about you and quietly sidle up alongside of you in a way that your spirit won‘t be able to detect. Then I‘ll whip out one of my skillful impersonations of the Holy Spirit and I‘ll plant some thought in your mind that has to do with something from your past.
“Flipping people off on the road is hardly Christ-like. What kind of message do you think that sends when they see the fish on your bumper? Do you think Jesus appreciates you misrepresenting Him like that?” The more you care about pleasing God, the less hard I have to work to find something to criticize you about. Any little flaw will do. And of course the minute I point out your behavior, you feel bad and you try to confess. You: ―God, I‘m so sorry I lost my temper like that.‖ Here is where the fun begins as I continue my imitation of the Holy Spirit. Speaking with a slight edge to my tone, I say: “This isn’t the first time. If you’re going to act like this, you should take the fish off of your car. I have enough people dragging My Name through the mud in this world. I don’t need any more help from you.”
And of course you rush to re-apologize, feeling
worse than you did before. How fun for me. Me: “Do you ever stop to think about what that particular hand signal means anyway? It’s really a very crude and disgusting gesture. This is how you act when you haven’t even been out of church for five minutes?” You: “I’m so sorry, God. Please forgive me.” Me:“Your apologies obviously aren’t sincere when you keep doing the same sins over and over again. This temper of yours is really getting in the way of our relationship. I have given you the resources you need to control your temper. Why are you refusing to use them?” You: (awkward silence) Me:“It’s called rebellion, and rebellion displeases Me. Don’t expect Me to be blessing your life and listening to your prayers when you’re putting so little effort into honoring Me. When you clean up your act, then we can continue to move forward. But I want to see evidence of real change before I accept you back into My good graces.” By now you feel just terrible, and I am in the perfect position. Now all I have to do is get some distracted soul to cut you off on the freeway tomorrow and I know you‘ll lose control again because you have such a short fuse. Then we can have another long discussion about how disgusted God is with you. If I keep this cycle up, pretty soon you‘ll be walking around with your head down, feeling convinced that God wants nothing to do with you. And all of this was so easy because you didn‘t know how to see through my act. RAISING YOUR GUARD So as we learned in our little analogy, Satan‘s goal is to create a sense of division between you and God so that you will shut down in the relationship. Once you understand that this is what he‘s going for, you need to make one hard
and fast rule in life: NEVER STOP TALKING TO GOD. No matter how rotten you feel or how mad you think God is at you, don‘t stop talking to Him Keep attempting conversation and keep sharing your heart with Him, for God is NEVER going to cut you off. As a Christian, you are His dearly loved child and you have entered into an ETERNAL covenant of peace with Him. The covenant that Christ ushered in through His death on a cross is not a conditional contract with a bunch of fine print on the bottom. God has assured us that we never, ever, ever have to worry about being spiritually cut off from Him once we are accepted by Him through reverential submission to Jesus as our Lord and Savior. Now then, once you refuse to severe communications on your end, Satan‘s job becomes a lot tougher. But now let‘s make him really strain by equipping you with some critical truths about how God responds to sin in your life. THE HOLY SPIRIT’S CONVICTION
God‘s conviction is not a guilt trip, nor is it a shaming lecture. Conviction is guidance. When the Holy Spirit convicts you, He is like an instructor who sees that his favorite student is going about a project in the wrong way so he gently says, ―Don‘t do it that way. Do it this way instead.‖ When God convicts you, He isn‘t mad at you, He is trying to help you. He is expressing loving concern for your spiritual welfare. We often make very bad choices in life. God understands that we don‘t usually recognize the mess we are getting ourselves into because we are like little children who aren‘t very wise and who often don‘t stop to consider what the long-term consequences of our actions will be. So when the Holy Spirit suddenly raises a warning flag, He is not criticizing us, nor is He expressing irritation and disappointment in us. Instead He is like a father who quickly snatches his little son‘s hand right before the boy steps out into a busy street. ―Don‘t go out there,‖ the father says. ―Stay with me.‖ WHEN GOD GETS UPSET Blessed Magazine June/July, 2014 Issue Page 18
God most definitely gets upset with Christians. If you‘ve been taught otherwise, you‘ve been misinformed. Unfortunately, God‘s anger is poorly understood in the Church. We either try to pretend it doesn‘t exist or we teach that He is ready to flip out on us over every little thing. Neither of these extremes is correct. Let‘s get back to the father who tries to pull his son to safety. Is the father angry at the boy for trying to walk out into the street? No, he‘s just concerned. The father doesn‘t expect a little boy to have the wisdom of an adult. On the contrary, he expects him to go sticking his fingers into electrical outlets, touching hot stove burners, and trying to drink poison chemicals. This is why the father sticks so close to his son and carefully monitors all of his activities—not because the father is just waiting for the boy to screw up, but because he dearly loves him and wants to protect him from harm. When the Holy Spirit convicts you, He is acting on those same warm feelings of affection that a father has towards his small son. Only in God‘s case, His love for you is infinitely deeper and better than any human‘s love could be. But now let‘s suppose the boy feels his father snatch his hand, he sees the dangerous cars that the father points out to him, and he understands that his father is trying to protect him from harm. But instead of cooperating and returning to his father‘s side, the boy yanks his hand away and races towards the street. The father rushes to snatch him again, but this time the boy swings his fist at his father‘s leg and shouts, ―NO! Leave me alone!!‖ This is rebellion. This is a heart attitude of ―I know what you want me to do and I am so not going to do it.‖ When this is the attitude that our souls take with God, then God starts getting irritated with us. Does He hate us? Never. Does He get so mad that He revokes our salvation and damns us to Hell? No, because God stays true to the covenant He made with us WHY GOD STAYS UPSET Page 19 Blessed Magazine June,/July, 2014 Issue
Along with understanding WHEN God gets upset, you also need to understand WHY He stays upset. It‘s commonly taught that His anger is focused on our actions—some outward wrong behavior that we are engaged in. But this is not correct, and it leads to many false assumptions about how to get right with God. If I am a porn addict, for example, and I think God‘s anger is focused on my behavior, then I will naturally think I can never have a good relationship with Him until I kick my habit. When I find that I can‘t kick my habit, I will conclude that my relationship with God is permanently damaged, and then I will spiral down into defeat and despair. Yet the truth is that God‘s anger never focuses on our behavior—it focuses on our heart attitude. Remember that God doesn‘t even begin to get upset with us until we start rebelling against Him, and rebellion is an ATTITUDE not an ACTION. Once God becomes upset with us, He remains so only as long as we continue to defy Him in our hearts. God wants our rebellious attitude to change back to an obedient attitude. An obedient attitude is when we say in our hearts, ―Pleasing You is what matters most to me–I really want You to have Your way in my life.‖ The moment our attitudes become obedient, our souls are back in alignment with God, and He ceases to be angry with us. God‘s pleasure with us is restored the very instant we return to an obedient heart attitude. This is called ―repenting.‖ Repenting is not apologizing over and over for the same sins. Repenting is not about hating ourselves or wallowing in shame. Repentance is simply a change of heart attitude. It‘s when we stop rebelling against God, and we go back to sincerely desiring His will in our lives. We can‘t fake repentance. God sees our hearts and He knows if we‘re sincere or not. The moment we sincerely repent, everything is once again fine between us and God. There might still be activity in our lives which He wants to change, and He will walk us through the steps in making those changes. But even before we complete the changes God wants, He will not be upset with us if our heart attitudes are obedient.
THE DECEPTION Whenever possible, Satan will try to deceive you about the WHEN and WHY of God‘s anger. It is a misunderstanding of these two principles that is behind most ongoing feelings of guilt. Let‘s compare Satan‘s lies to God‘s truth. You ask: “WHEN does God become upset with me?” Satan says: “The first moment you do something which goes against God’s moral code.” God says: “The moment I explain to you that I want you to make a change and you refuse to even care about My desires.” There is a big difference between these two answers. It‘s also very important to note that a lot of time can pass between the moment you do something wrong and the moment God convicts you about it. Suppose you grew up being taught that abortion is morally acceptable. So you get an abortion and you have no idea that God considers it wrong to do. Five years later, the Holy Spirit educates you about His feelings about abortion. Now is He also going to accuse you of willfully defying Him? No, because you didn‘t. At the time you got your abortion, you had no idea it was wrong and God didn‘t convict you about it. Here‘s a key principle: you can‘t become guilty of rebellion until God convicts you. You can‘t disobey until you‘re given a command. In this scenario, God is well aware of the fact that you‘ve already had an abortion and that the damage is done. He does not expect you to travel back in time to undo your mistake, nor is He going to hold some grudge towards you for the past. Why should He? You were not defying Him and He knows it Now Satan is going to try and spin this whole situation differently. The moment God educates you about His view of abortion, Satan will try to convince you that God became furious with you the moment you did the thing that He hates five years ago. Satan tries to get you focused on
ACTION instead of attitude. He will say it‘s irrelevant that you didn‘t know better at the time— he will insist that you have massively offended God by your behavior. And now that you‘ve gone five years without apologizing for it, well, clearly God is in a major huff. It doesn‘t matter that you‘re genuinely sorry for what you did—what matters is that you sinned. You did what you weren‘t supposed to do. Your ACTIONS were wrong even though your attitude was not. According to Satan, actions are all that count. Do you see how Satan tries to flip the truth around on you? And once he gets you focused on your actions instead of your attitudes, he can easily keep you feeling plagued with guilt. He can make you feel trapped in an impossible bind because you can‘t go back and change the past. Let‘s look at the whole chain of deceptions that Satan will try and throw at you. You ask: “WHEN does God become upset with me?” Satan says: “The first moment you do something which goes against God’s moral code.” God says: “The moment I explain to you that I want you to make a change and you refuse to even care about My desires.” You ask: “WHY does God stay upset with me?” Satan says: “Because you did something that He says is wrong.” God says: “Because you are refusing to care about what I want in your heart.” You ask: “HOW can I get back in a good place with God?” Satan says: “You can’t. The past is set in stone. The damage is permanent. God is never going to fully forgive your sins. He is going to keep reminding you about them for the rest of your life.” God says: “The moment you sincerely want to please Me again, all is well between us. The past is behind us. Your current flaws and failings can’t come between us. I want your heart. As long as you are giving Me that, I am very pleased with you.” Notice how easy God makes it for you to please Him. Notice how impossible Satan makes it. To combat guilt effectively, we need to understand the truth about how God operates. When feelings of
guilt arise, we can quickly uncover a deception by asking ourselves the following questions:
makes them very fickle, false guides which cannot possibly be counted on.
“Do I sincerely want God to have His way in my life, even if what He wants upsets me?”
We must look directly to God for truth, and rely on Him to clearly communicate when there is something He wants. We must also remember that God never tells us to obey Him in our own strength, but that He walks alongside us in life and empowers us to do the things that He wants. When we see sinful behaviors in our lives which God is not giving us the resources to overcome, we need to stay focused on our desire for Him to have His way in our lives and trust that He will. Without God, we can do NOTHING, so it‘s utterly futile to beat ourselves up for not having resources that He is refusing to give us. When we remember that our soul attitude is the most important thing to God, then we can counter any guilt trips by saying, ―God sees my heart and He knows that I sincerely care about pleasing Him. All is well between us, and I am not going to listen to any message which tries to say that God cares more about my actions than my internal attitude.‖
If the answer is yes, then God is not upset with you. If the answer is no, then you can fix this problem by asking the Holy Spirit to align your priorities with His. If you can sincerely make such a request, then you obviously care about what God wants in your soul, regardless of what state your emotions are in. “Is there something God is asking me to do that I’m not doing?” Are you receiving some kind of instruction from the Holy Spirit? Remember that God convicts us because He loves us and wants us to experience His best. If God is asking you to do something that scares or upsets you, then once again ask the Holy Spirit to align your priorities with His. We can‘t always find the courage to force our feet forward down the path of obedient actions, but we can still retain right attitudes in our hearts by wanting to God have His way in our lives. As long as our attitudes are obedient, God is NOT going to be upset with us. Instead, He will be pleased, and He will help us deal with our distress about obeying Him with our actions Once you can determine that you sincerely want God‘s way in your life and that you are not intentionally ignoring His convictions, then you know the guilt you are feeling is being manufactured by Satan. Satan is very good at agitating our emotions and creating nagging feelings of distress. He wants you to look to your emotions, not the Holy Spirit, as your guide in life. If you do this, then every time you feel emotionally off balance, he can convince you that all is not right between you and God. Our emotions are like dry leaves which scoot across the ground in response to every passing breeze—the slightest thing affects them. This
By John David Clark, Sr.
Divorced Before Your Conversion “Are you still bound to your past?” Page 23 Blessed Magazine June,/July, 2014 Issue
Generally speaking, if your divorce occurred prior to your conversion, then that divorce is just a part of your past sinful life which in Christ is done away with, and it is irrelevant now. So far as your liberty to marry another believer is concerned, the wise pastor will not even consider your previous marriage and divorce. Any divorce, or ten of them, which took place when one was lost in sin is a dead issue, being part of the life of sin which is now repented of and washed away by the blood of Christ, never to be remembered against you again. Paul wrote (KJV), ―If any man be in Christ, he is a new creature. Old things are passed away. Behold, ALL THINGS are become new.‖ When you were baptized with the Spirit into Christ, every part of your old life of sin was purged from your record by the precious blood of Christ.
It is tragic for some that certain men in authority among the saints think as they do about marriage and divorce. Consider the following scenario, which is representative of the way some ministers deal with the marital histories of new converts:
Some will teach you that in Christ, all things are become new except your marital history. However, those people‘s unwillingness to forgive a new convert‘s previous marriage(s) is not a reflection of God‘s mind. When a sinner comes to Jesus, he is given a new life – including a new past! Failures of the past are gone, completely and forever. Therefore, a sinner who had been washed from sin by the blood of Christ is free and is worthy to marry in the kingdom of God if he so desires.
This is not the way of the Lord.
This is why, even if you married and divorced a dozen times before being converted to Christ, you do not actually belong in the category of ―divorced‖, for you are indeed a ―new creature‖, with no error of the past on your record to obstruct your pursuit of a quiet and peaceable life in Christ – and with no marriage or divorce on your record in heaven!
Some ministers would cheerfully allow a person to marry who lived a life of fornication before coming to Christ – if that person, while a sinner, had not married any of his fornication partners. On the other hand, a person who, while a sinner, had resisted fornication, and then married and divorced, would be forbidden to remarry. Do you see what an unjust judgment this is? The unbridled lust of one sinner is rewarded, while the other sinner‘s effort to do right by marrying is punished.
In the early 1980's, near my hometown there lived a happy young couple with four children who were convicted of their sins and converted as members of an ―Apostolic‖ congregation. Not long after they were both born again, the pastor learned that she had been married previously while still a sinner. He informed them that they were living in adultery because she had a living husband and that they must separate. The young man, wanting to please God, moved onto a farm where he worked as a laborer, but it was a very difficult arrangement for everyone involved, parents and children. The couple continued to attend the Apostolic church services which were also attending by a young man named John who had recently read a copy of this book. Upon learning the truth about marriage and divorce in the Kingdom of God, John went to visit Nate and told him that him and Latasha (not their real names) were not required to separate. Surprisingly, Nate argued against what John told him thinking that he was defending the faith of Christ. Seeing that he could not help Nate, John dropped the subject. Latasha had to depend on public welfare, and Nate moved to New Jersey where he had relatives and where he hoped to find a job that would
enable him to take better care of his family. While in New Jersey, Nate began attending meetings with another Pentecostal group. There he was taught that he and Latasha were not required to separate. Then Nate realized that Brother John had told him the truth, and not long afterwards, he returned to North Carolina to reunite with Latasha and the whole family then moved back to New Jersey to a happily married life. Nate and Latasha‘s story, thankfully, had a happy ending. But that is not often the case.
Spiritually Single: Living With an Unbelieving Husband
By Jeri Odell
We‘re called to live at peace with everyone, including our unbelieving spouses, which can require extra effort on our part,‖ Ellen says. ―We all have to find what works best in our individual situation. There‘s no magic formula, but God will help supply the right answers if we ask Page 27 Blessed Magazine June,/July, 2014 Issue
That said, don‘t be afraid to grow. Looking back, I realize my growth has enhanced our marriage and didn‘t hinder our relationship, as I originally presumed it would. When I put God first, He changed my heart toward Dean. God used Paul‘s advice to the Colossians to challenge me: ―Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men‖ (3:23). God was asking me to put my whole heart into my marriage — for Him. Lori, a friend at church, shared with me what God taught her during a difficult period in her marriage. ―Regardless of what Steve did or didn‘t do, regardless of his salvation status, and regardless of his contribution to the relationship, God expected my best. Marriage isn‘t a 50/50 proposition, but rather my giving my 100%.‖ Those words have haunted, rebuked, and blessed me many
times over the years. She‘s right. When I stand before God, I long to hear Him say, ―Well done, thou good and faithful wife.‖ I don‘t desire to stand before Him blaming Dean for my shortcomings. ―But, God, I didn‘t because he didn‘t…‖ Those words won‘t carry much weight with the Almighty. The spiritual condition of my spouse doesn‘t change my role except to create a more vital need for obedience to Scripture. As Peter reminds me, the unbeliever will be won over by the behavior —not the words of his believing mate. Even more reason to grow. How an I practice what I do not know? And how can I know unless I grow in my knowledge of God? Proverbs 31 paints the epitome of a godly woman, yet never states whether her husband practiced faith. With so little revealed about him, I must surmise his spiritual condition held no relevance to her role as a godly wife, nor does my husband‘s for Blessed Magazine June/July, 2014 Issue Page 28
me. So I pass the gauntlet on to you. It‘s with love, hope, and prayers I say, ―You grow, girl!‖ Move toward God with passionate fervor. Don‘t wait for anyone or anything. May God bless you as you grow in Him!
Blessed Magazine June/July, 2014 Issue Page 30
When Jealousy Threatens to Destroy Your Marriage By Dr. David
Page 31 Blessed Magazine June,/July, 2014 Issue
Jealousy, in itself, is not a sin. The Bible tells us of many instances where God is ―jealous‖ when we put other priorities and gods before Him. We‘re told in the Bible in 2 Corinthians 11 that Paul was jealous ―with a godly jealousy.‖ So there are times when being jealous has its merits. But jealousy IS a sin when it is manifested in the extreme as far as being envious and boastful, rude and self-seeking (as is referred to in 1 Corinthians 13). Dr Charles Swindoll says of jealousy in his book, Marriage… From Surviving to Thriving: “Few things turn off a mate faster than a suspicious, insecure, smothering protectiveness. A jealous lover’s first concern is for self, which is the exact opposite of agape (which is the type of love that God requires of marriage partners). Rather than being patient, the jealous lover zealously pursues what he or she wants, even to the extreme of controlling someone else.” This goes along with the saying ―It is not love that is blind, but jealousy‖ (Laurence Durrell). Blind jealousy works to destroy a marital relationship and needs to be controlled and eliminated from your marriage, because of its toxicity. It‘s something you really need to work on. As Ron Deal (the President SuccessfulStepfamilies.com) points out:
unhappy partners feel left out when their spouse spends time with their children. This is just another example of how first marriages and remarriages differ. A key point of our research is that an astonishing 7 of the top 12 stumbling blocks for remarriage couples are related to a past relationship breakup (e.g., divorce) or to the complications of being a stepfamily.‖ So, just how do you handle your irrational jealous feelings so they no longer poison your marriage? ―The central question about feelings of jealousy is, ‗Do we need to swallow our feelings and ‗buck up,‘ or are we entitled to request/ demand our mate change their behavior in sensitivity to our insecurity?‖ If we believe our mate is too chummy with a member of the opposite sex, do we have the right to ask/ insist on ‗hedges of protection,‘ or must we listen to them when they tell us, ‗There‘s nothing to worry about‘?‖ Dr David Hawkins goes on to give additional help. He writes:
―Many problems in relationships are thorny and difficult to resolve. Jealousy, it seems to me, is an easy one to eliminate. In my book, Nine Lifesavers for Every Couple I discuss the following guidelines that should be part of every relationship wanting to eliminate feelings of jealousy in their relationship.‖
of
―Our research revealed that feelings of jealousy (i.e., the fear of being replaced), suspicion (e.g., having trouble believing your partner), worry (e.g., how your mate‘s previous sexual experiences compare to yours), and fear (e.g., afraid of another relationship breakup) predict with nearly 93 percent accuracy couples with high- versus lowquality relationships. Fears erode confidence and set the couple up to interpret benign behaviors in cancerous ways. ―Jealousy is also related to stepfamily dynamics. In biological families, for example, when a parent spends time with their children it also cares for the marriage. That is not necessarily so in remarriages. Nearly half (46%) of Blessed Magazine June/July, 2014 Issue Page 32
5 Steps to Overcome Jealousy By Dr. David
1. Agree that there will be no close relationships with the opposite sex. While a close relationship with the opposite sex certainly doesn‘t always lead to danger, a dangerous liaison often begins as a close friendship. 2. Agree that all relationships will be open to discussion. Dangerous friendships almost always contain an element of secrecy. Keep your friendships open to discussion and scrutiny. 3. Agree to always be sensitive to your mate‘s feelings, placing them above anything else. Feelings must be accepted and honored. They should never be debated. Be sensitive to your mate‘s feelings, no matter how uncomfortable they may be to you. 4. Agree not to scold or judge your mate for their feelings, however unrealistic they may seem to you. Create a safe place in your relationship for feelings to be expressed and protected. Everyone has a right to feel what they feel, and expect those feelings to be heard. 5. Agree to seek immediate solutions. Don‘t let jealousy ruin your relationship. This is an easily solved problem—let your mate know their safety and honor is of utmost importance to you. Page 33 Blessed Magazine June,/July, 2014 Issue
4 Ways to Stay Focused When Praying By Virtuous Reality
Sometimes when I pray I get distracted and start thinking about other things. How do I stay more focused? Blessed Magazine June/July, 2014 Issue Page 34
This is a challenge for many believers, because it is hard for us to stay focused on something invisible when there are so many visible things in front of us. We may have every intention of spending time with God, but it‘s amazing how easily our minds wander to other things. In Ephesians the apostle Paul encourages us to stay alert in our prayers. ―And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.‖ (Eph. 6:18) Even Jesus recognized all the distractions of the world when it comes to alone time with God. ―Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.‖ (Mark 1:35b) Jesus approached prayer differently than most people, and you can approach it differently too. Try making a list in a journal or on a notepad of everything you want to pray about. Then, use the list during your prayer time to keep your focus. As you see God answer prayers on your list for you or others, check the prayer off and add a note to keep praising God for that situation. As humans we often forget how faithful God has been to us in the past, so refer back to the old items on the list, and keep praising Him! ―Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.‖ (Col. 4:2)
Another idea would be to journal your prayers. It‘s hard to lose your focus when you‘re writing down every word, and although it may take a little time to get used to, journaling can become addicting when you think of it as writing letters to God and each and every word will start to become more meaningful to you. (You can journal on your computer too in a word processing program---but steer clear from using an online journal as a prayer journal) Try the ACTS prayer model to ―organize‖ your prayer life and stay focused!
Adoration: spend time praising God for who He is (His character). One idea is to pick a different name of God used in the Bible each week and praise Him for that role. (i.e.— Jehovah Rapha means the Lord heals. Confession: spend time confessing your sin to God. Try to be as specific as possible, because we become more aware of our need for God‘s grace when we recognize His mercy in light of our failures. This will prepare our hearts for thanksgiving. Thanksgiving: recount the things that you are thankful for, beyond the material blessings in your life. It‘s great to thank him for all the ways he‘s blessed you with a good home, great family and friends, but also remember to thank Him for his mercy, grace, faithfulness, etc. in our lives. Supplication: this is where we present requests to God. A good way to keep this from becoming a wishlist mentality, be sure to pray God‘s will in all that you ask. Recognize that God is not a vending machine, and He will answer your prayers according to His sovereign design and in His time!
The Rise of By Tony Cummings
Blessed Magazine June/July, 2014 Issue Page 36
The rise of Tamela Mann has been one of gospel music's major success stories of the last few years. In 2007's Tamela's debut solo album 'Gotta Keep Movin'' made number three on the US gospel charts, in 2009 her 'The Master Plan' went to number two on those charts and in 2012 Tamela's 'Best Days' reached the number one slot on Billboard's gospel rundown. Prior to her solo career Tamela was a member of Kirk Franklin And The Family. But in truth it has been the singer's career as an actress in several Tyler Perry productions on the stage, in feature films and on hugely popular TV programmers which have elevated the 46 year old to stardom. Tamela's role as Cora in such Perry plays as I Can Do Bad All By Myself, Diary Of A Mad Black Woman, Madea's Family Reunion, Madea's Class Reunion, Meet The Browns and What's Done In The Dark have brought the singer-turned-actress fame. It has to be said that Perry, who in 2011 was named by Forbes as the highest paid man in entertainment (earning 130 million dollars between May 2010 and May 2011), has attracted considerable criticism despite his immense popularity with critics suggesting that his output reinforces black stereotypes. However one views Perry's black culture dramas few will argue that in Tamela Mann he has helped a phenomenal singing talent find a mass audience.
see it as an influence. I was thinking: 'Wow, she making me go and she's not making anybody else go.' But it turned out that that's really how I fell in love and saw that singing was my passion." In 1993 Tamela got her big break when she joined Kirk Franklin And The Family. The songwriter/group leader's album became a number one gospel hit and Tamela toured with Franklin. She also went on join the gospel musical cast of David E Talbert as he directed the stage play He Say.She Say.But What Does God Say?
In 1999 Mann got the opportunity to act as well as sing. Discovered by Tyler Perry, she debuted in the stage play I Can Do Bad All By Myself. She has appeared on television shows including The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, BET Soundstage, 1999 Grammy Awards, Dove Awards, the United States of America World Olympics and Tyler Perry's House Of Payne, as well as Tyler Perry's Meet The Browns (television show), where she portrayed Mr. Brown's (David Mann) daughter. Mann has appeared in movies, including the 2001 comedy Kingdom Come, Diary Of A Mad Black Woman and Meet The Browns.
Mann was born Tamela Jean Johnson on 9th June 1966 in Fort Worth, Texas. She was the youngest of 14 children. Mann and her siblings grew up in a very spiritual home which was grounded in the Church Of God in Christ (COGIC). They were properly reared by their mother whom they called "Mother Eppe". Mother Eppe believed in and exercised solid biblical principles. Mother Eppe was a psalmist in her own right. By the age of 12, Tamela was singing in the church's adult choir and often selected to sing solos. Although she was bashful, she blossomed in the local church and high school choirs. Tamela spoke to journalist Clayton Perry about her early church experiences. "You know, you kind of fight it when you're young. It's like, 'Why do I have to go to church all the time?' But I think by her encouraging me - well, it wasn't encouragement. It was like, 'You just got to go. You got to go.‘ [laughing] When I saw her in the choir and leading songs, it was just such an encouragement. I really didn't see it then, but I thank God for it now. At the time, I didn‘t
She also had a role in 2009's Tyler Perry movie Madea Goes To Jail. In 2005, Tamela and her husband David Mann created their own label Tillymann Music. The outfit released several projects including Tamela's 'Gotta Keep Movin'' debut.. Two years later
Tillymann released her first live album 'The Live Experience'. Mann's explosive songs "Father Can You Hear Me" and "Take It To Jesus" can be heard in the movie and on the soundtrack album of Diary Of A Mad Black Woman. In 2009 Mann's second studio album 'The Master Plan' was released. One of the outstanding tracks on the project was the powerhouse "You Deserve My Praise" penned by Demarcus Williams. Tamela recounted how she first heard the song. "I asked Demarcus if he had anything, and so he submitted that song and another one. When I first heard it, it was just a little rough draft with the music, so you can remember what it is - the lyrics and the harmonies. My husband and the album producer - Myron Butler heard it and they were like, 'I don't know.' But I was like, 'Y'all! You have to hear beyond what's here right now.' And it has really become one of my favorite songs. I just fell in love with it and I asked Demarcus if I could tweak it and make a few little changes. And he was like, 'Sure. Sure.' It's really one of my favorite songs, because the lyrics really taught me that God deserves the praise. No matter what. He protects us, in all things, from dangers seen and unseen, and he keeps us in the midst of the good and the bad, even when we want to just do whatever we want to do and think it's right. For God covers us in so many different areas: of where our parents, our grandparents, pray for you and even just other people just praying for you and you're not even knowing it, how God still gets the praise. He deserves the praise, and we should give it to him because of who he is. And that's just kind of how that song came about.―
Another standout on the album was "I Trust In You" penned by Tamela herself. She said, "We were out on the road for What's Done In The Dark, and things had kind of got a little rough. So we had a big meeting. It wasn't a blowup, necessarily, for me. You know how things happen in our lives? I just didn't like how a few things were going. And while I was getting ready to go on stage, the words came to me. "I trust you, Lord. When friends are few, bills are due." It sounds so singsongy, but it was truly how I felt. I had tears in my eyes, and I was standing backstage getting ready, listening for my cue to walk out on stage, and the Lord just kept bringing it back to me, more and more. At the time, I hadn't shared the song with anybody. I had just been singing it to myself. And then something happened with my son, where a guy had pulled a gun on him. After that happened with him, it made me go ahead and just finish the song. When I sang it to him, he started weeping and he was like, 'Mama, I really needed that.' His response just kind of led me to use it on the album, and I hope that it will be a blessing to somebody, especially in this day and time that we're in now. "This is a trying period for so many people - with the economy and everything. Right now, all we have to rely on is the Lord, because so many other things are not going like we think they should go. Thank God for the President and all that; but, it's really not all in his hands. You know, we tend to forget that he's human and that God has the last say-so. I guess it's just because of my belief, because of my faith. But I believe that God is just and I really trust him to see me through all of this. So many people are in need and I'm just really trusting God to just see us through this. 'In Him', the other song, came to me while I was flying! [laughing] It's a really fun song, and it gives you that old-time, hand-clappin', foot-stompin' kind of vibe. Bobby Sparks produced it with me and put a little spin on it.― Now Tamela's 'Best Days' is turning out to be her most successful album so far. The first single from the project, "Take It To The King", was written and produced by Kirk Franklin. Working with the gospel superstar was a happy experience for the singer. She told the gospelguru website, "It was like a reunion. . . We all grew up in the same area in Dallas-Fort Worth and we've been together for over 20 years. It was a great reunion. The background singers came in and
Kirk had me come in at a different time, we were doing shifts. It was wonderful being with Kirk, he kind of did it where it was just me and him in the studio. . . he even put David (my husband) out. He was like 'I want her to myself' . . . lol. We had fun and we had our serious moments. He told me, 'Tam, I didn't realize how much I missed your voice.' It was the same thing with him working with me. I was like. . . I missed it. I would trip out how Kirk would snip a song and put two vocalists on the same and make it so smooth. . . the transition was so smooth. It was a joy.― One of Tamela's favorite songs on 'Best Days' is "All To Thee". She commented, "It says 'All the glory, And all the honor, And all the praise belongs to only thee/. . . Take none for me but all for thee.' I've got a couple [of favorites' but it's more like in the worship vein. Another favorite is 'Lord We're Waiting' ('Lord we're waiting. . . anticipating, we're waiting on your glory and your presence'). That's kind of where the Lord has me right now. And of course 'Take Me To The King'.― Despite her success as an actress nothing can take the place of music in Tamela's life. She enthused, "Singing is my first love. You know how you have that one thing that you're comfortable with, you feel like that is your best area? I feel like singing is it. I thank God that he stirred up the gifts in me. I kind of turned and went into the acting portion of it. . . I don't think I'm too bad. But I think in anything you can always work on improvement. But I prefer singing over acting." Tamela was recently featured in the Whitney Houston film Sparkle playing Whitney's best friend. She told essence.com how she landed the part. "I actually got a phone call for the part. I was shocked, but happy at the same time. I made myself look a little older on my audition tape, like I was from the 1950s, and David sent it in. I was so happy when I got it.‖ Working with the tragic pop star was, for Tamela, a wonderful experience. She recounted, "I had such a good time. We talked about the Lord; we talked about family and about singing. She actually got to hear the first two songs that I recorded, 'All To Thee' and 'I'll Hold On'. She was like, 'I can't wait to hear the rest of it. You're going to get 'em with this, baby.' I was very hurt when I got the call about her passing.― Page 39 Blessed Magazine June,/July, 2014 Issue
Looking back over her phenomenal career Tamela admitted that she is somewhat stunned. She told the gospelguru, "I never dreamed that I would have met the people I've met and work with the people I've worked with to this day. When I drive up to my house it's like 'wow,' I'm just so grateful for God trusting me with my gift. When I do sing, I sing as if it is my last time. My eyes are actually tearing up because I'm really grateful and thankful to God for the opportunity. And I don't take that for granted because when you think about it there are so many other people that he could use. But it's like God chose me for this hour, such a time as this to bless his people. I don't ever want to get caught up into that it's about me. . . It's hard for me to watch myself on TV and sit up and listen to myself. It's kind of hard for me because I try to push myself back from it. I want to stay humble because if I do he said he'll exalt me."