Blessed Magazine December, 2018/January, 2019

Are You a Grinch at Christmas? Take the Quiz

December, 2018/January, 2019

M A G A Z I N E

How to Have the Best Christmas Ever

5 Tips for a Happy Family Check Out These Dating Strategies

Christians and Marijuana

What I Learned About God From Psych Ward Patients

Why Your Relationship with Your Mom is So Complicated

Lost Virginity: Does Not Define You

December, 2018/January, 2019 BLESSEDMAGAZINE.ORG

But Why Can’t I Look Like Her? A Look at Our Need to Compare

5 Big Problems that Get in the Way of Your Worship

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Contents December, 2018//January, 2019

Inside This Issue

Spiritual Wellness ▪ ▪ ▪

5 Big Problems that Get in the Way of Your Worship – 20 What I Learned About God From Psych Ward Patients – 25 Christians and Marijuana - 30

58

Personal Wellness ▪ ▪ ▪

But Why Can’t I Look Like Her? A Look at our Need to Compare – 39 Lost Virginity: Does Not Define You – 46 Are You a Grinch at Christmas? Take the Quiz - 50

Relationships ▪ ▪ ▪

5 Tips for a Happy Family – 54 Why Your Relationship with Your Mom is So Complicated – 58 Check Out These Dating Strategies - 62

Why Your Relationship with Your Mom is So Complicated

Also in this issue: ▪

How to Have the Best Christmas Ever - 67

Regulars ▪ ▪ ▪

Editor’s Corner -18 Just For Fun - 77 Market Place - 80

Question: Do You Know

Jesus?

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Editor’s Corner

Praise the Lord My Brothers and Sisters in Christ!

First, I always give all glory and honor to my Lord Jesus Christ for without Him in my life, nothing I could ever do would amount to anything!

My prayer for our readers is for each of you to enjoy this Christmas season, remembering why we celebrate this time of year. And for you and your family and friends to move into the new year with new hopes and dreams for a prosperous year I want to personally thank all of our fans and readers for their continued support of this ministry which has continued to strive and for that I am grateful to our Lord,

Jesus Christ Our goal is to continue being a resource for Christians and others for years to come and with your support we can keep this publication available free of charge always on our digital platform Pray for us as we continue to pray for you and thank you for reading this issue of Blessed Magazine

God bless you!

Your Humble Servant in Christ,

Laraine Turner Editor-in-Chief

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As unique as your DNA, your iris, or your thumb print, so unique is the story of your life

People may be able to take many things from you, but they will never be able to take your very own story from you. Some use their story for good.

Some stumble over their story; many deny their story – but the empowered woman uses it to shape, influence and craft the next chapter of her life.

Your story is the fundamental foundation on which to build the life you desire. The building blocks are secured by a powerful life cement called choice. What we choose today, we will live through tomorrow.

We truly do win or lose by the way we choose You can change how your story unfolds any moment you choose. Your environment has shaped you for long enough. It is now time for you to shape your environment. After all, your future is not a place you merely get to go to.

Your future is the place YOU choose to create Stories are as old as time itself. Stories have created worlds of imagination, fable, fantasy and fun. But there is one story that has the power to forever change your world. That is your very own story.

____

Sometimes we WIN. Sometimes we LEARN There are approximately 7 billion people on planet earth right now. The most amazing realization is that of those 7 billion people,

There is ONLY one YOU!

Spiritual Wellness Worship happens in multiple ways. It’s not simply singing songs at church on Sunday, though I wouldn’t trade that time on a regular basis for anything. There is something special about worshipping corporately, as God calls us to live and grow in community. But the definition of worship is bigger than “the feeling or expression of reverence and adoration for a deity.” Tony Evans describes worship as an orientation, a way of life, one not solely defined by an event or place.

I find some of my best times of worship are when I’m running on a cool day, when I’m in my

5 Big Problems that Get in the Way of Your Worship

by Jen Ferguson

garden, and when I’m sitting at my kitchen table with my journal and Bible. But just as there are a myriad of ways I can worship God, there are also a multitude of things that can get in the way of my worship of Him. Here are 5 things that get in the way of worship:

Entitlement that Breeds Bitterness True confession: I have told God before that I didn’t feel like worshiping Him. Have you said the same thing? Even if you didn’t use words, you probably remember how your heart felt in those moments—the proverbial hand in God’s face. Why would we not feel like worshipping? For me, 20 | Blessed Magazine

Spiritual Wellness often it’s because I didn’t get my way and I felt like He let me down. Disappointment with God because of my preconceived (and often, wrong) ideas of what was best for me created a wall between us. Where worship could have broken it down, I chose to sit behind it in my temper tantrum. When things don’t unfold as I think they should, I can easily lapse into a mindset that feeds my sense of entitlement.

“Don’t I deserve…?”

“Haven’t I worked hard enough to…?”

“If you really loved me, You would…”

“You’re a big God. What can’t you just…for me?”

Jesus Tells Us to Love the Lord Yes, our pain and our disappointments are real and valid. It is acceptable to have feelings of anger at God when hard things of life happen. But if we withhold our worship, we are saying: We know better than God. God has to earn our favor.

We can manipulate Him into giving us what we want.

Our love for Him is conditional.

This last one that turns my stomach the most because I know it is the exact opposite of how He loves me. Whether I choose to worship or not is irrelevant when it comes to how He loves— unconditionally and without fail. There is nothing I can do or say that will make Him love me less…or more. And if I really think about it—especially after I’ve had time to process (and grieve) what I have lost, do I truly want to worship a God that does my bidding? Have I not done enough foolish things in the past to show that I am not always wise and prudent?

But at the end of the day, it all boils down to this: Jesus tells us to love the Lord with all our hearts, souls and minds. It is the greatest commandment, one with no asterisk or addendum or “if” clause.

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Spiritual Wellness A key part of the element of worship is giving something to Someone who is more than you will ever be. If we start commanding our God to follow us, what is the point of worship?

engage in the repair of relationship. But this sense of conviction never comes with a sense of shame because God wants to draw us into relationship with Him, not cast us out.

3. Fear and Worry 2. Shame Shame and I go way back. Shame has kept me from approaching God as my true self more times than I can count. Sure, on the outside, it may look like I have engaged with Him. I sang songs. I prayed. I lifted my hands. I dug deep into Scripture. But on the inside, I was cringing.

What is God really thinking?

I don’t deserve to be in His presence.

What will He say to me if I really show up and listen?

I have been in a season where God is seriously talking to me about my propensity to fear. When I am afraid, I am often driven to my knees. I go on and on about the situation, the circumstances, and how I worry it will play out. I sound like a beggar instead of a beloved daughter. I am not compelled into His presence by my faith that He wants the best for me. Instead, I am compelled by my fear that He might somehow fail me. And this means I have put myself on the throne instead of God. Who am I really worshiping?

My own self. My own abilities.

When We Worship, We See God More Clearly

God Wants to Draw Us into Relationship It has taken me what seems like a gazillion years to realize that God’s love is unconditional. He understands that I will never be perfect and that part of my coming into His presence will require some sort of confession and need for repentance. God made it so easy to ask for forgiveness because He has promised that He will always grant it. When we allow our shame to stand in between us and God, we negate the power and sacrifice of the cross. We let Satan win.

Paul tells us there is never any condemnation for those of us who have a relationship with Christ Jesus. Will the Holy Spirit convict us? Yes. We need to know when we’ve done wrong so that we will

Our wringing hands to do not communicate a steady trust in a God who is sovereign and loving. Our worshipping hearts do. When we worship, we communicate that though we do not see the entire picture, we serve a God who does. We communicate that though we may not feel particularly loved at the moment because of the state of our affairs, we still are. It is easy to let our problems distort the image of God, but when we worship, we see God much more clearly.

4. Busyness/Priorities It takes time to worship. We live in a society where time is viewed as a scarcity. There is simply never enough, we think. I also know

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Spiritual Wellness the struggle truly is real. There truly is enough to do where I could fill every second of every day with tasks. Sometimes we convince ourselves that we can survive on a little less sleep, with a little less downtime, with a little less social interaction. But the truth is this: it always catches up with us. We become irritable, resentful, overworked, and bone-dry. The same happens when we live under the delusion that we don’t really need to spend quality time with God. This isn’t about having a requisite “quiet time.” This is about engaging in a God who wants to spend time with us, to talk to us, and to listen to our biggest problems and our mundane thoughts.

All relationships require time and energy. If you didn’t spend time with your closest friends, your spouse, or your kids, your relationship would wither. The same is true of your relationship with God.

To worship even when you don’t feel like you have time, means you trust Him to hold time in His hands—your time, your activities, your life.

Special note: As someone who works in a church, it can be especially easy for those of us who are deeply involved in ministry to prioritize people who need us over our own need for God. As Christians, we can fall prey to evaluating our Christianity by how many times we attend church or how often we volunteer in ministry. But hear me clearly: God always desires YOU first. Your service is no substitute for worship. He only called you to participate in service to Him through His strength, not yours. To neglect that time of refilling with Him means your pouring out of your own capacity and not Jesus’.

5. Environment

He Is the Father of Time The next time you think you don’t have time to engage in worship and conversation with God, remember this: He is the Father of time.

He created it. He knows how it works. He knows exactly how much time you need to complete the things He has called you to do.

I love the feel of sacred space—of cozy chairs, scented candles, dimmed lighting, and, of course, a clean house. When I’m at church, I love the loud beat of the drums and the harmony of voices. When my pastor is preaching, I love getting introspective and applying the sermon to my life. But what happens when I can’t seem to create the environment I most desire when I’m sitting in worship? What if my life is in chaos, my house a wreck, the music is terrible, and the sermon is irrelevant? What, then?

Worship Isn't Contingent on Our Environment Worship isn’t contingent on our external environment. Many times we have very little

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Spiritual Wellness control over that (hello, children who make messes).

Instead, worship is contingent only on the choice we make with our hearts. If we wait for a perfect environment in which to worship, our hearts will wait to be perfected. The Author and Perfecter of our faith is critical to our spiritual growth and development and He is accessible at all times—when we (or our house or church) are in any condition.

Today is the day to worship. Let us truly cast off anything that hinders us from coming before Him in reverence and with love. END

Question: Do You Know

Jesus?

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Spiritual Wellness

What I Learned About God From Psych Ward Patients

By Jamie Blaine

I was just a clueless C-plus college student, semi-active in local ministry, when a nurse offered me a job at a mental hospital just past town.

“You seem pretty good with people,” she said. “Could you use a little extra cash?”

My church considered psychology a second cousin to witchcraft, so I caught pastor Reddy after service to get his thoughts. “I feel a peace about it, brother,” he said. “You can help teach those people about Jesus. God could use you to change a person’s heart.”

Given Reddy’s blessing, I accepted the job. The psych ward rushed me through orientation and threw me in over my head. I covered every unit, drove the van and manned the crisis line overnight. I delivered addicts to AA, wrestled psychotic sex fiends, talked suicidal jumpers off the

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Spiritual Wellness ledge, chased naked patients through the woods behind the interstate, hacked through nooses, led support groups for obsessivecompulsive recluses and busted windows in rundown singlewides to rescue hallucinating prostitutes.

stormed over. Even the toughest thugs won’t tangle with a pack of wild-eyed schizophrenics.

I felt justified—and super-spiritual, to boot. I was reaching down to the “least of these,” charging into the fire with reckless faith.

“Trouble’s worth it,” said Norman, whose forehead was laced with stiches and scars.

“We gotta watch out for each other. Each other is all we got.”

“Thanks, guys,” I said. “But y’all don’t need trouble.”

Then I prayed this crazy prayer: “OK God, let’s go. Show me what you want me to see.”

Late one Sunday, a drunk who looked like Blue from Old School told me that maybe grace was amazing because God walked a mile in our shoes and saw how difficult and confusing life can be. Then he climbed a bus bench and sang “Amazing Grace.” He might have been tipsy, but his sermon stuck with me for a very long time.

When my girlfriend dumped me, an anorexic stripper struggling to kick cocaine took my hands and said, “Jamie, we gotta let go of things we can’t control or ever understand.”

Back at my church, things were falling apart.

The couple who taught the marriage seminar split, the music minister vanished and the preacher’s wife chewed me out for parking in her space one afternoon. Everything I thought I knew was being turned upside down. I didn’t know what to think anymore.

So I tried not to think and pushed on.

I had a van full of schizophrenics and stopped to fill the tank. A trio of street thugs started harassing me when I walked up to pay. I tried talking calmly as the lead goon grinned and twisted a chain around his fist.

The van door slammed open. My patients

The church finance manager got caught siphoning cash. An associate pastor was fired and forced to tell the congregation that God had called him away. An evangelist packed the altars, then two weeks later, I admitted him into rehab.

A tattoo artist with increasing episodes of self-harm told me, “Brother, listen. Most everybody feels like they’re doing the best they can.”

Sometimes, I felt called to the ministry. I’d been working on a little collection of messages and I had some pretty clever catch phrases. That’s what I thought ministry was: telling people how to fix their lives. But my church was falling apart, and the mental hospital was starting to feel like home.

A bulldozer mechanic with panic disorder

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Spiritual Wellness tutored me on statistical analysis the night before a big exam. A bipolar card shark slipped me two 20s so I could buy a textbook. I sang hymns with a manically depressed house painter on the high rail at the river bridge. I had communion in a side cell with an inmate who gave me half his tray.

company for a change.”

In the parking lot, they laid hands on my shoulders and prayed. “Open his eyes to your mercy, Lord.” So I opened my eyes and we laughed at the big truck’s horn blaring as it passed us on the street. “God, lead Jamie,” the woman said. “Show him everything you want him to see.”

The backslidden evangelist ended up being a model patient and returned to encourage his peers.

“Call me anytime,” he told me. “You got somebody I can help, I don’t care how late it is.”

Truth came from strange places in the Bible.

Outlaws, loners and loose women. Jesus ran with a rough crowd. And He warned the religious about labels and easy assumptions.

Those people you’re calling lost might be closer to the Kingdom than you.

One patient bit me and another kicked me and I racked up my umpteenth concussion when a guy who thought he was Satan smashed me with a chair. Junkies taught me Greek and a schizoaffective kleptomaniac gave me a motel Bible in which he had drawn an elaborate illustration of me standing on a mountain surrounded by crows. “Jamie, ah,” the klepto explained. “In Hebrew that means one born for revolution.”

A homeless woman called the hotline when her husband started hearing voices in the night. I met them at a diner off 9th, figuring we’d talk and I’d treat. But when I pulled out my wallet, the waitress informed me they’d already paid. “Aw, we don’t mind,” the husband said softly. “We just happy to have

The church couple that split emerged a lot more humble, and when the music minister reappeared he told me that for once in his life, he felt honest. The preacher’s wife who lit into me for parking in her space? She snuck a stack of money into my hand and said, “Baby, I know you meet a lot of people in need.”

It was truly a season of mad epiphanies. I stopped trying to figure things out. I stopped talking, tried to listen better and learned to appreciate silence. I gave up any notion of ministry past showing up and trying to live in that one small moment struggling people share. The things that divide us grow dim in desperate hours. We are all so much the same.

We are all the least of these.

It was Sunday evening, several months after I started at the psych ward. Pastor Reddy caught me after service. “How’s the mental

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Spiritual Wellness health mission field going?” he asked.

I tried to find a way to sum it up, to compose the right words to where Reddy could understand. “Remember when you said God could use me to change those people?” I said. “To teach them about the Lord?”

“Yuh,” he said, half-smiling. “How goes it?”

“Pastor, they’re teaching me about Jesus,” I told him. “God’s using the people to change me.” END Question: Do You Know

Jesus?

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Spiritual Wellness

Christians and Marijuana Sam Storms

I need to make a confession right up front. I’ve never smoked marijuana. I’ve never been drunk with alcohol. In fact, I’ve never used an illicit drug of any sort. I mention this because I’m quite sure that some will object to what I say in this article by insisting that I have no right to speak about an experience in which I’ve never personally indulged. I think that’s ridiculous.

Whether or not I’ve ever been “high” (and again, no, I haven’t), is irrelevant to the question of whether or not Christians should use marijuana for recreational purposes. That being said, let’s get started.

allowing marijuana use in certain instances. I don’t know the criteria one would employ to make the determination as to when marijuana should be used and when not. But it seems reasonable to me, and not at all unbiblical, that if marijuana can be used in some form and under the oversight of a physician to help those in extreme pain or those for whom all other medical remedies have proven ineffective, it should be allowed. I know there are arguments against the medical use of marijuana, but I cannot interact with them today.

(1) I’m not anything remotely close to being an expert on the question of whether or not marijuana should be made legal and available for use in cases of extreme medical distress.

But I will give you my opinion. My humble opinion is that a good case can be made for

(2) Not too long ago the citizens of Colorado approved Amendment 64 that allows “the personal use and regulation of marijuana” for adults 21 years and older. Although marijuana is still illegal under federal law, its legal sale commenced on January 1, 2014, in Colorado.

This decision in Colorado opened the door to.

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Spiritual Wellness the legalization of marijuana for other than medical purposes in several other states, including California, Massachusetts, Maine, Nevada, Oregon, Washington, and Alaska This has led to countless discussions and debates among Christians as to whether the use of marijuana is a sin. Again, I’m not talking about its use in cases of extreme medical emergencies. We are talking about the recreational use of marijuana when the primary intent is to get “high” or “stoned.”

(3) Does the Bible address the use of marijuana? Yes and No! Some believe it is explicitly endorsed in Genesis 1:29 where God said to Adam: “Behold, I have given you every plant yielding seed that is on the face of all the earth, and every tree with seed in its fruit. You shall have them for food.”

But how many people ingest marijuana as food? This passage gives no support for the practice of smoking marijuana for a recreational high. I know of no food that we consume by smoking. As Joe Carter has written, “Presumably, no one adds marijuana to brownies because it improves their flavor.

The reason to add this particular plant to foodstuffs is because of its effect on senses other than taste” (“Is Recreational Marijuana Use a Sin,” January 6, 2014, The Gospel Coalition Blog).

(4) So, aside from this passage in Genesis marijuana is nowhere mentioned in Scripture. The question we then need to ask and answer is this: Do we find in the Bible something that is analogous to the recreational use of marijuana? The answer is Yes: intoxication by drinking alcohol.

But what constitutes “intoxication”? If the Bible permits the use of alcohol in moderation, might it not also permit the use of marijuana in moderation? We know that a person can consume small quantities of alcohol without any intention of getting drunk. Can a person similarly consume small quantities of marijuana without any intention of becoming intoxicated? To answer that we must define “intoxication”.

Joe Carter is helpful here. He explains that “for alcohol, the unit of measure is the ‘standard drink,’ that is any drink that contains about 14 grams of pure alcohol (about 0.6 fluid ounces or 1.2 tablespoons). A standard drink is conventionally defined as the alcohol content of 12 ounces of 5 percent-alcohol beer or 5 ounces of 12 percent-alcohol wine or an ounce and half (a shot) of 40 percent-alcohol (80-proof) spirits (hard liquor). In most U.S. states, the legally defined level of intoxication typically occurs, depending on pacing, after four drinks for an average-sized woman or five for an averagesized man.”

In the case of marijuana, I’m told that it takes only four puffs to induce a state of intoxication. If your intent for ingesting marijuana in any form isn’t for the intoxicating effect, why do you bother? What benefits from it are you seeking? And if your

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Spiritual Wellness intent in the recreational use of marijuana is indeed some level of intoxication, your action is sinful.

belongs to Christ! Your body is the dwelling place of the Holy Spirit! Your body is to be used to honor and glorify God!

(5) But what about caffeine? People drink coffee and Coca-Cola and certain energy drinks to achieve a physical effect. That’s true, but there’s a significant difference. As John Piper has pointed out, “Marijuana temporarily impairs the reliable processing of surrounding reality. Caffeine ordinarily sharpens that processing. Most coffee drinkers hope to stay awake, do their jobs more reliably, and drive more safely. It is certainly possible to abuse caffeine, but, as a natural stimulant, it is most commonly used not as an escape from reality, but as an effort to interact responsibly with reality.” Thus, “unlike caffeine, marijuana is not generally thought of as an empowering drug that enables you to be a more alert dad, or a more aware mother, or a more competent employee. Rather, for most users, it is a recreational escape, which produces diminished accuracy of observation, memory, and reasoning. And it may have lasting negative effects on the mind’s ability to do what God created it to do” (“Don’t Let Your Mind go to Pot,” January 9, 2014, www.desiringgod.org).

So, if you should choose to drink to excess or smoke marijuana for a high you need to ask: “Does this decision make Jesus look good?”

We should also ask this about the quality of TV shows we watch, or what we see on the Internet, or the kind of music we listen to, or the rating of movies we attend, or how much we eat.

(6) We read in 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 – “Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.” Contrary to what nonChristians think about themselves, you, Christian man and Christian woman, you do not have ultimate authority over your body to do with it what you please. Your body

(7) We read in 1 Corinthians 6:13 that the body is meant “for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.” Our bodies are designed by creation and redeemed by the blood of Christ so that they might be instruments for his use and his glory. Therefore, we must strive not to dull or diminish or weaken our God-given physical and mental capacities to glorify and serve God. We must strive to see clearly and think clearly and decide clearly and speak clearly and remember clearly. Our minds are designed by God to know him and love him and grow in our affections for him. We should avoid anything that undermines our minds in this regard. As Piper put it, “be ruthlessly clear-headed.”

(8) What sort of witness for Jesus do we give when we join with the world in the recreational use of a drug whose purpose is to induce a state of passivity and stupor and diminished accuracy in mental observation and memory and basic reasoning powers?

Not a good one, in my opinion.

(9) In cases such as this I often think we are asking the wrong question. We ask: “What’s wrong with it?” “Why shouldn’t I?” “How

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Spiritual Wellness far can I go and still not sin?” Perhaps we should ask: “Will it promote the cause of Christ?” “Will this activity lead me and others to treasure Jesus above all else?”

“Will it help me fight the fight of faith with greater success?” “Will it sharpen and intensify my knowledge of Christ and my commitment to glorify him in all things?”

Asking those questions may well elicit a different answer from the one we typically hear.

(10) Finally, let’s remember that the only external power to which you should yield conscious control or under whose influence you should come, is the Holy Spirit of God. “And do not get drunk with wine [or high on marijuana], for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit” (Eph. 5:18). My conclusion, then, is that the recreational use of marijuana for the purpose of getting “high” is not an option for the Christian. It is, in point of fact, sin. END

This article originally appeared on SamStorms.com.

has departed from their lips. Then, when they realize their error they become afraid. They are afraid of being found-out by those they call friends, and they are afraid of the government authorities. They are afraid of being embarrassed in front of the people that they wanted to impress. Yet still they do not repent. Instead they run to hide in far-off places and there they continue with the same dishonest ways. They repay kindness with nastiness because they are too ashamed to admit to their lies, yet still they do not repent. They are utterly untrustworthy because they speak lies even to those they call their friends — even to those whom they claim to love. What fools! Do they think that God cannot see them. Even if man is deceived, will God pay no attention? Do they think that they can hide from the Spirit of God that they claim is within them? Such stupidity is beyond belief.

When they have told so many lies that they cannot even remember what they have said, then their own mouths trap them. Because they fear men more than they fear God they become ensnared by evil men who blackmail them. When you have walked the wrong road and got into trouble the only way out is to go back. But these foolish liars refuse to go back, they refuse to repent. In their stubborn and stupid pride they just keep mouthing falsity and they continue with their dishonesty. They do not understand that God opposes the proud. They do not understand that God is set against them because of their deceit.

When their consciences accuse them they claim that it must be because of the stress in

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Personal Wellness Many of you have written that your beauty is an area where you are prone to believing lies.

Molly wrote, “ok well I’m tall and I get made fun of for it and I hate it. I have to keep telling me that it is a good thing to be tall but it is hard when everyone is laughing at you and calling you name for it. Any advice?”

Britttney pointed out that one source of our struggle in this area is the standard of beauty we see portrayed by celebrities. She wrote, “I think that the reason girls think they are ugly, and fat is because of the models and celebrities on the cover of every magazine…”

But Why Can’t I Look Like Her? A Look at our Need to Compare Erin Davis

Bri Anna wrote “Well I can relate to the whole appearance/ no boyfriend thing because I struggle with it myself. I have to constantly remind myself that I don’t need a boyfriend and that I am beautiful just the way God made me. I am learning to accept myself for who I am and that God makes no mistakes. So anonymous…hold on. God loves you and that’s all that matters.”

We do feel the need to compare don’t we?

Often that comparison leaves us feeling like we don’t measure up. When we start to use others as our standard for beauty and worth the results are often disastrous.

I bet you’ve played a version of the comparison game. Maybe you are constantly judging whether or not other girls are smarter than you, or more popular or more athletic.

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Personal Wellness Maybe you find yourself in constant competition with an older sibling or the flawless celebrities that grace every magazine cover. Maybe you’re always on the lookout to see who is taller or shorter, better or worse dressed or more or less talented than you.

The irresistible need to compare seems to be a part of our fabric as women. In fact, most girls are masters at the art of comparison.

The world around us urges us on. Magazines are a paper format for comparison. For around $4 an issue you can see who is better or worse dressed than whom, who is fatter or skinner than the noteworthy stars around them or how celebrity marriages stack up to the competition. You can take quizzes to see how smart, funny, or romantic you are. But the question is, compared to whom? And while it’s true that we all compare, most of us have noticed that it leaves us feeling unsatisfied…or worse. Often times, our comparisons leave us deeply wounded.

Playing the comparison game is a dangerous trap.

This trap has been carefully set by our Enemy. He knows that comparing ourselves with others leads to feelings of discouragement, inadequacy and jealousy.

He knows that if he can turn our focus toward those around us, he can easily distract us from the standards of God. One of the most powerful weapons in his arsenal is the sense that we are alone in these feelings.

That we are the only one reacting this way.

That no one else feels like they just can’t seem to measure up. Let’s face that lie right here together. Our need to compare wasn’t born in the 21st Century. It isn’t simply a

result of media that pushes a version of beauty that is impossible to obtain. The Enemy has been setting this trap since the beginning. A return back to God’s Word shows us that many have been ensnared, often with terrible results. But once again we see that the keys to these chains come from God’s truth.

If we head back to the Garden we find Satan up to the same old tricks. The snake slithered in and convinced Eve to start comparing herself to others, specifically to God. This was dangerous indeed.

“You will not surely die,” the serpent said to the woman. “For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”

(Genesis 3:4) “You will be like God.” “What you are isn’t good enough.” “You need to be more like someone else.” These are the foundations of this lie. Eve had all she needed but as she looked around and noticed that God possessed knowledge that she did not, she let her heart play the comparison game and a nibble of sin followed shortly after.

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Personal Wellness Why is comparison destructive? Why would Satan tempt us to compare ourselves to others? The answer is clear when we study the results. In every single story of comparison in the Bible, comparison led to a focus on the wrong standard. Eve let a serpent define what was good for her instead of trusting God’s standard for what was best. The results were immediate and painful. She lost her home in the garden. She lost her intimacy with God. She scarred her legacy. Her son made a similar choice. Cain forgot to be grateful for the favor he did receive from God and focused on what he thought he was missing. He lost control. He sinned. He lost his brother.

Sarai put her hope in what she could create. Instead of resting on the promise of God, she tried to grab good things for herself. God’s standard for her life was better, his promises were enough, but comparisons muddied the waters. God’s blessings on King Saul’s life were many. Instead of being grateful, he was jealous. In the end it led to destruction. Jesus had enough love and purpose and ministry for all twelve disciples, but they wanted to establish a pecking order. They set out to outdo each other and forgot to focus on pleasing their Lord.

When we compare ourselves to siblings, to friends, to celebrities, the results are the same. God is our standard. He is our creator and his affirmation of our value is worth more than riches untold.

When we seek the applause of man, instead of Him, we are focusing on the wrong standard and settling for a cheap substitute. END Used with permission from www.LiesYoungWomenBelieve.com

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Personal Wellness If we were looking for someone to impact history in amazing ways, most of us would never choose her. Why would God use her, a prostitute, when there were so many other, better women around?

given her body away as a way of making money, was chosen by God. She was given one of the greatest honors any woman throughout all of history could have ever been given.

We don’t know all of the details of this woman’s story, but we do know this. Rahab, the prostitute, was the mother of Boaz (Ruth’s husband) and the great-great grandmother of King David, a man after God’s own heart. Rahab was honored to be one of the few women mentioned in the lineage of Jesus.

God chose to use an imperfect woman with a repentant heart to accomplish amazing things. He still does.

I wish we would slow down to remember stories like Rahab’s more often. If we’d take the time to look, we’d see that God chooses to use imperfect women for His kingdom purposes.

Rahab the prostitute, the woman who’d

Lost Virginity: Does Not Define You Bethany Beal 46 | Blessed Magazine

Personal Wellness HOPE > SHAME If you struggle with guilt, shame, embarrassment, and/or pain over your own lost virginity, I have a word of hope for you. + Your worth has nothing to do with your virginity or your lost virginity. Your worth has nothing to do with your reputation. Your worth has nothing to do with anything you’ve ever done or ever will do. You can’t earn your worth, and you can’t lose it either.

That’s because your worth is found totally and completely in the love God has given you through His perfect Son, Jesus Christ.

It’s a truth our enemy, Satan, wants us to forget.

We have a God that sent His perfect Son, Jesus Christ, to pay for our sins once and for all. He has every power, every authority, every right, and every plan for our futures.

LISTEN UP! Hear this truth loud and clear.

Satan perpetually twists God’s truth (John 8:44). You might hear him whisper: “Your sin is so bad that God could never forgive it.”

“Jesus is so ashamed, embarrassed, and disappointed in you.”

“God doesn’t really love you.”

“Your worth as a woman is tied up in your own perfection and holiness.”

We have some words for the enemy. Not today, Satan! His future is sure, and we know the true King who will reign forever and ever.

We reject the enemy’s lies, and we will not let him destroy our lives.

God loved each one of so much that He sent His Son, Jesus, to die on the cross for our sins. He didn’t send Jesus to die for perfect, holy, upright people. No! He sent Him to die for wretched sinners. He sent Jesus to the cross to pay for each and every sin you have committed and will ever commit.

Please don’t spend the rest of your life living in guilt over the sins that Jesus has already paid the price for. You don’t have to pay the ultimate price; Jesus did. You can have true and lasting forgiveness for anything you’ve ever done.

LISTEN CLOSELY. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9).

We have a God that will have the final say.

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Personal Wellness Think back to the life of Rahab If she had believed the lie that God only used “good girls” and “perfect people,” she would have missed out on God’s amazing plan for her. The very lineage of our Savior would look different.

Instead, she was able to accept the forgiveness of God and live a beautiful, fruitful life among His people.

That is what I want for you.

I want you to walk in the forgiveness that God is offering you. Don’t live your life trying to pay for your own sin. Accept the work Jesus has already done and move forward in freedom. Yes, there may be consequences, challenges, and scars that we carry because of past sin. But that doesn’t define us, and it doesn’t hinder God from using us in huge and awesome ways.

LET’S TALK What’s keeping you from walking in freedom?

Will you choose to accept the forgiveness that God has offered you? END Used with permission from www.LiesYoungWomenBelieve.com Question: Do You Know

Jesus?

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Personal Wellness

Are You a Grinch at Christmas?

Take the Quiz

Question #1 – Which Do You Prefer? a. Wrapping Presents b. Giving Presents c. Receiving Presents d. Receiving Presents for Store Credit so You Can Get Something Else Question #2 – Other Than Christmas Day, What Other Holiday Do You Enjoy? a. New Years Eve b. Hanukkah c. Yule d. Kwanzaa e. Festivus To take the quiz electronically, please visit: https://brainfall.com/quizzes/how-santagrinch-are-you/ 50 | Blessed Magazine

Personal Wellness Question #3 – What comes to mind when you hear the term "Holiday Season?" a. Fun b. Stress c. Family d. Hangovers Question #4 – When Do You Go Shopping For Presents? a. Black Friday b. The Week of Christmas c. Before Thanksgiving d. None of the Above. You’re Regifting Everything Question #5 – Which Tree Looks Like The One You Have?

A

B

C

D

E

F

No Tree To take the quiz electronically, please visit: https://brainfall.com/quizzes/how-santagrinch-are-you/ 51 | Blessed Magazine

Personal Wellness Question #6 – You just got to the airport to head home for the holidays and found out your flight has been delayed 12 hours due to weather. What do you do? a. Get Drunk at the Bar b. Scowl and Remind Myself Why I Hate Flying This Time of Year c. Good Thing I Bought a Good Book to Pass the Time d. Make Some New Friends at the Airport Question #7 – What Film is a Must Watch Every Year? a. A Christmas Story b. It’s a Wonderful Life c. How the Grinch Stole Christmas d. A Christmas Carol e. None of These Question #8 – What Festive Drink Will You Be Indulging In? a. b. c. d.

Eggnog Champagne Milk and Cookies Mulled Wine

Question #9 – How Naughty Have You Been This Year? a. I Was an Angel b. Just a Little Bit c. About Half the Time d. Pretty Naughty to be Honest Question #10 – Choose a Seasonal Helper?

1

2

3

4

To take the quiz electronically, please visit: https://brainfall.com/quizzes/how-santagrinch-are-you/ 52 | Blessed Magazine

Personal Wellness Question #11 – What’s Your Favorite Holiday Tradition? a. Christmas Caroling Around the Neighborhood b. Getting Presents c. Donating Gifts and Food to the Homeless d. Going to Christmas Service at Church Results on Page 71 To take the quiz electronically, please visit: https://brainfall.com/quizzes/how-santagrinch-are-you/

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Relationships

5 Tips for a Happy Family Lori Freson Most parents truly want nothing more for their children and their family than true happiness. That being said, with marriage, jobs, kids, bills, laundry and all of life’s other stressors, it is not always that easy to achieve or maintain. We try our best. We give in to immediate wishes and desires because we believe it will make our children happy, and that if they’re happy, our homes will be happier, too.

This rarely works, and we find ourselves stuck in cycles of nagging, arguing, and resentment.

In order to really find lasting happiness in your family, you need to look at the bigger picture. It is not about giving in to an immediate want or trying to pacify anyone. It’s about finding healthy and meaningful ways to connect and care on an ongoing basis.

Here are some tips for how to have a happy family: 1.

EAT DINNER TOGETHER. OR BREAKFAST.

If that is not realistic for your family, then find some other meaningful time to connect on a regular basis. My kids have ADHD. The dinner table has never really been that much fun. Nobody can sit 54 | Blessed Magazine

Relationships still for long, everybody interrupts and talks over one another. So, our special time to talk was always during the drive to school. I have many memories of very interesting and sometimes hilarious topics of discussion during car rides. Find whatever works for your family.

in, why not even give it a try yourself or as a family? Shared activities are a great way for families to form strong bonds.

2. TALK TO EACH OTHER, AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, LISTEN TO EACH OTHER. Talk about your day and your likes and dislikes. Ask a lot of open ended questions to your family members. Some families do a best/worst routine, where everyone talks about the best thing that happened all day and the worst thing that happened all day. It certainly gets everyone talking. Family meetings are an effective way to communicate likes and dislikes within the family, discuss problematic behaviors or negotiate rules. Really, whatever gets every talking and expressing themselves is what it’s all about.

3. TAKE AN ACTIVE INTEREST IN ONE ANOTHER’S INTERESTS AND LIVES. Listen to what is going on in each person’s life and be interested in that. Don’t force your ideas on others, rather take time to hear theirs. Sign kids up for things that they are interested in, not the things you wish they’d do. Talk about these interests frequently. You could even learn about something that interests your child or partner so that you can have more interesting conversations. Or, you can ask them to teach you about it. If it’s an activity or interest that others can participate

4. FIND WAYS TO REDUCE AND MINIMIZE STRESS. Lay off of the constant nagging and pressure to be perfect and do everything. Have some fun. Whether it’s forgetting about the housework for the day and going on a hike or a picnic, or just sitting around the TV watching a movie together, find ways to destress. Make sure everyone is also getting plenty of alone time to decompress. Don’t over schedule your kids. Pay attention to their stress level and make changes if you find they aren’t able to manage all that is going on in their lives.

5. BE A PARENT, NOT A FRIEND. Having a healthy and open relationship with your children does not mean that you are their friend. Do not be afraid to say no or to step up and be the parent that your children need. Take charge and make sure to set clear rules, boundaries and limits, and make sure

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Relationships to follow through with appropriate discipline.

Back down even once, and your children will quickly learn how to manipulate you to get what they want. And that ultimately does not make them happier. Children need rules, boundaries and limits in order to feel safe, secure and confident. That is what real happiness looks like. END

Question: Do You Know

Jesus?

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Relationships

Why Your Relationship with Your Mom is So Complicated Debbie Alsdorf and Joan Edwards Kay

When you hear the word mother, what happens? Do you get a rush of love or a flare of anger? A pleasant memory or a painful flashback? Whatever your reaction, we can affirm that the motherdaughter relationship is momplicated—one of the most complex, yet sacred, bonds between two people. It is complicated, rich, beautiful, and sometimes painful. And yet it can be difficult to fully understand why they are that way. Why can’t we readily recognize the effects and identify what needs to be fixed? What might be preventing us from seeing clearly? Here are eight reasons why the effects of this important relationship might be obscured.

THINGS ARE GOOD BETWEEN MY MOTHER AND ME AT THE MOMENT: One of the top reasons you may not see your past clearly is if your current relationship with your mother is good. Remember that your relationship with your mother has been lifelong. It is likely that your mother has changed since you were a child.

WE ARE GRATEFUL FOR ALL THE WAYS OUR MOTHERS HAVE GIFTED US: The damage or hurt caused by our mothers is often obscured because of the many ways they have blessed and gifted us. Your mother may have hurt you, yet she gave you life. At times she may be your biggest critic; at others she may be your biggest fan. At times she may be cold and angry; at others she may be warm and nurturing. Mothers are complex human beings with histories, trauma, fears, and hopes. And mothers relate to their daughters out of all that complexity.

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Relationships WE NEVER STOP LONGING FOR OUR MOTHERS’ LOVE: Young children depend on their mothers for their very survival. They need their mothers to meet their core needs, to feed them, and to keep them safe. The thought of being without Mother is intolerable. A child cannot bear to question the goodness or stability of someone she needs so profoundly. Rather than facing the terrifying and chaotic possibility that her mother might be flawed, a daughter blames herself and assumes she is flawed or has done something wrong. The God-given impulse to go to our mothers for love and comfort compels adult women to keep at it. They continue to revisit that maternal well even when it is dry, hoping that this time things will be different.

relationships with our mothers impair us, but they don’t seem like wounds. A wound is defined as “damage, hurt, or injury.” If a daughter has been brought up with the belief that she is better than everyone else or entitled to special treatment, she may not feel hurt or injured, but she has still been damaged. A mind-set of pride, superiority, or entitlement will get in the way of good relationships with other people and God. It will, at some point, bring her pain. It can be hard to see that this, too, is a kind of wound.

WE HAVE COMPASSION FOR THE DIFFICULTIES OUR MOTHERS ENDURED: When we realize our mothers faced difficulties, we may think it insensitive to acknowledge our wounds. However, the fact that your mother faced personal trials does not remove the reality that your needs were not met. The goal is to be able to hold compassion for Mom, while still telling the truth about times you were hurt or affected negatively. We must honestly face reality and hold both truths at the same time—our mothers need compassion, and our hurts need acknowledgment so they can be healed SOME WOUNDS DO NOT SEEM LIKE WOUNDS: Some patterns that result from our

SOME WOUNDS COME FROM TOO MUCH “LOVE” OR TOO MUCH INVOLVEMENT: It is counterintuitive to think of wounding that is caused by too much attention from one’s mother, yet overinvolvement and doing too much for a daughter can harm her just as neglect can.

WE CAN’T REMEMBER OUR EARLY YEARS: Most of us have spotty memories of our childhoods. Childhood amnesia—the loss of

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Relationships most early memories by the time we are seven—is a real phenomenon. Scientists are not sure why it occurs, but they theorize it has to do with how the brain is growing and changing. Even after age seven, memories tend to fade unless they are connected to deep emotions or have been revisited through photographs or family storytelling.

WE HAVE SYSTEM:

A

NATURAL

DENIAL

We don’t want to think about painful things.

Denial is the protective mechanism that allows us to tolerate the intolerable. When experiences or feelings are so difficult that we feel as if we won’t survive them, we seal them up and shut them off from our consciousness. In cases of extreme abuse, it is a blessing for children to be able to bury their memories. Sometimes God brings the recollections back when the child is old enough to handle them. Sometimes they never emerge, which may be best overall. It’s similar to a doctor deciding to leave a bullet in someone’s body rather than attempting risky surgery. However, God wants truth to illuminate our inward parts. In most cases, it is worth the pain of facing the things we have hidden from ourselves so we can bring them to God for healing and be free of their effects. Traumatic experiences can be stored in our subconscious minds, but God is powerful and can bring them to light and heal them in his time. If you have a history of serious abuse or neglect, pray that God would guide your healing. Pray that he would reveal only the memories you are ready for. Trust him on this. He is the best counselor, and his timing is perfect. END

60 | Blessed Magazine

Question: Do You Know

Jesus?

Relationships Is romance or a relationship on the top of your mind most days? (We’re kind of obsessed with the topic, aren’t we?)

Check Out These

There are so many thoughts and questions about dating and love and marriage. But for singles, I hear one question in particular that keeps rising to the surface: “How will I find someone to date?!”

With that question in mind, I’ve got ten dating strategies for you.

LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR. Jesus told us to love our neighbors— a.k.a., anyone who comes into our path. If we’re loving our neighbors well, we’re training our “love muscles” for a future relationship Jesus answered, “The most important is, ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these” (Mark 12:29–31).

PURSUE YOUR GOD-GIVEN PASSION. 1.

2.

3.

What are you passionate about?

What are your God-given gifts?

What area of work or service gets you pumped? a) Is it missionary work? b) Serving with kids? c) Developing an artistic talent? d) Pursuing a business degree?

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Relationships

Dating Strategies

Do it! Take the first step toward pursuing the mission God has for you. (You never know who you might meet along the way!)

WORK HARD. When you find what the Lord has for you in this particular season, put your whole heart into it. Give it all you’ve got.

Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ (Col. 3:23–24).

BE THANKFUL.

Beecher Proch

You might be asking yourself, What do I have to be thankful for if I’m so single? For starters, God’s love and grace and mercy, then there’s your family, friends, church . . . the list is

actually endless. First Thessalonians 5:18 tells us to give thanks in all circumstances. That includes right now, even while you’re single! It’s God’s will for you.

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you (1 Thess. 5:16–18).

PS: GRATITUDE IS CONTAGIOUS . . . AND ATTRACTIVE! INVEST IN THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU. Whether you’re surrounded by your family or your friends or your coworkers or other students, true friendships require investment. And when we seek to be interested in others rather than absorbed by our own interests, we demonstrate a beautiful selflessness!

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Relationships Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves (Phil. 2:3).

SERVE! We’re supposed to follow in Jesus’ footsteps, right? Right! Jesus lived on this earth to serve, not to be served (Matt. 20:28). When we wholeheartedly serve others, we’re reflecting the heart of Jesus and becoming more like Him. Which is our goal—boom!

anxious about our life. So surrender those worries to God! “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble” (Matt. 6:34).

DEEPEN YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH JESUS. No other relationship is more important than your relationship with Jesus Christ. In fact, I remember reading a quote that goes something like this: “Grow so close to Jesus that in order for someone to pursue you, they have to know Him even better.”

FOCUS ON TODAY. Here’s something I want to avoid: realizing that I thought so much about the future, I didn’t influence and encourage others during my single years right now. Take TODAY and use it to the fullest potential! Yes, prepare for tomorrow, but don’t focus so heavily on it that you miss and waste today.

QUIT TRYING. Why are you trying to get a certain guys’ attention? Listen, if you like a specific guy and the Lord wants you to be together . . .

God can make it happen! But allow Him to handle the details. When we try to rush God’s timing or get involved in attempting to hurry His plan along, it can backfire on us.

Plus, it’s best to allow a guy to pursue you rather than taking matters into your hands to pursue him!

SURPRISED BY THE BEST KIND OF ROMANCE

DON’T WORRY. Life is going to throw enough obstacles our way for boatloads of worry. But you know what? Worry robs today of all its joy! (I wish I could claim that quote as my own, but I’m paraphrasing Corrie ten Boom.) Matthew 6:25–34 reminds us that we shouldn’t be

This list may have turned out a little different than you were thinking. But here’s why these ten pieces of advice are a great way to find someone to date: in working hard, pursuing your God-given passions and gifts, and loving others, there’s a likelihood that you will stumble into someone doing these same

64 | Blessed Magazine

Relationships things. Serving, loving, growing in their relationship with Jesus.

And you’ll realize that instead of shifting your focus off these pursuits and onto a person, you will both be able to do these things together. Your relationship will be better for it! It will be team effort, and you’ll get twice as much done for Jesus as you would’ve done on your own!

So stop worrying about who you’ll date.

Focus on the person you’re becoming. Grow closer to Jesus. Don’t rush things. And somewhere down the road, you may just look over and realize the person God has for you is working right next to you in the trenches, loving, serving, and investing in others. End Used with permission from www.LiesYoungWomenBelieve.com

65 | Blessed Magazine

Also In This Issue

How to Have the Best Christmas

Ever It’s Christmastime again. Seems to come every year about this time. The most wonderful time of the year There’ll be parties for hosting Marshmallows for toasting And caroling out in the snow There’ll be scary ghost stories And tales of the glories Of Christmases long, long ago It’s the most wonderful time of the year (That could almost be a song.

Wait a minute—I think it is.)

But, if you’re like many of us, Christmas will be over before you took time to enjoy it. You might even get past Christmas, realize how fast it passed, and so you set some new year’s resolutions to slow down and—maybe—enjoy

Christmas more next year.

67 | Blessed Magazine

Also In This Issue What if you could do that this year? Why not? Sounds like a good goal to me. Enjoy the celebration of Christmas. The birth of our Savior. Relish the time with family. Savor every moment.

Here are 7 suggestions to make this the best Christmas ever: SET A LIMIT ON EXPENDITURES. Something happens when Christmas becomes more about the value of the gifts than the value of the season. More, more, more only produces energy in a direction that can never really be sustained.

(Read Ecclesiastes 5:10) Start with a budget.

Be realistic. Stop comparing. One problem for many of us is that we are trying to compete with everyone else. Obviously, if you have more money you can spend more money (and less—less). But make it your goal to invest more in people this year than in things you can buy. And don’t feel obligated or pressured to buy gifts you can’t afford for people. It will only be a temporary satisfaction and produce a lot of guilt in the new year when you see those credit card bills start arriving in the mail. (And, usually, the guilt starts as soon as the cashier hands you the receipt or you push the purchase button online.)

SET BOUNDARIES IN RELATIONSHIPS. This is especially true for younger couples and families, but really for most of us. You can feel pressured by extended family and friends to be a dozen different places.

Remember, you aren’t responsible for pleasing everyone; in fact—you can’t. It’s impossible. (Some have a harder time with

that than others.) Don’t let everyone else determine your Christmas schedule. You may have to have some difficult, but direct, conversations with relatives or friends.

Again, be realistic. You can’t be everywhere.

There are some places you can’t (or shouldn’t) avoid, but, as much as possible, control your schedule rather than having it controlled by others.

PLAN AND PRIORITIZE YOUR TIME. This is similar, but also includes how we spend our own time at Christmas. There are usually more demands for our time than time for our demands. Just as you did in creating a money budget, create a time budget. Set aside some time for you to celebrate Christmas as an immediate family—or in a way where you best celebrate. Then build around that time. It’s okay to say no. (Do you need to read that sentence again?) If you don’t, you’ll run out of time before you feel you ever really celebrated. It’s hard, but again, you’re trying to actually celebrate Christmas—the birth of baby Jesus. That’s hard to do when you have lost all control of your time.

LOWER YOUR EXPECTATIONS. That you have on others and on yourself.

Sometimes we set very unrealistic expectations on what others will buy or how they will respond to what we buy. We look for the “perfect” gift—to give or receive— and our enjoyment of Christmas is based on that search—rather than the real joy of the season. We also set unrealistic expectations on relationships. We watch too many Hallmark Christmas movies where everything works out in the end to the perfect

68 | Blessed Magazine

Also In This Issue holiday celebration, and when it doesn’t happen at our house quite like that, we get disappointed.

Remember, we aren’t characters in a movie. We are characters in real life. Real life is almost never perfect.

Learn to enjoy your celebration with all the quirkiness that makes your family unique from every other family. (Because ever family is quirky in some way—in real life.)

PRACTICE HEALTH DISCIPLINES. Sometimes in the name of “celebrating” we over do it only to have guilt about it later.

Don’t overeat or over-indulge. You will occasionally—it’s part of the season—but be reasonable. Keep exercising. Sample rather than eat full portions. You’ll feel better and have fewer regrets after the holidays have ended.

rediscover the miracle of Christmas. A Savior—who is Christ the Lord—has been born to you. Establish a tradition that helps you best identify with the true meaning of Christmas. You could take time to explore a character of the Christmas story you’ve not considered previously. Research elements of the setting and culture. Read the major passages in Matthew and Luke repeatedly through the season. Listen to only Christmas music. Attend special Christmas services.

Whatever works for you. Be intentional to practice celebrating the real joy of Christmas.

SERVE OTHERS. Find and establish a Christmas tradition of service. Whether it’s serving at a food kitchen, ringing the bell for the Salvation Army, or just picking up trash along the side of the road, you’ll better appreciate Christmas when you serve. The real meaning of Christmas is based around serving others.

The baby born at Christmas came to be a servant. The best way to celebrate His birth is to give back expecting nothing in return.

You’ll be the bigger recipient when you do.

Not all of these will apply to everyone, but my guess is if there are a couple here you need to work on—to better celebrate Christmas—you already knew it. As we begin the rush of the Christmas season, pause right now, take a few deep breaths, and let’s make this the best Christmas ever. It’s the most wonderful time of the year. END

REMEMBER THE REASON FOR THE SEASON. Yeah, I saved the best and most important for last. On purpose. It’s simple—even cliché.

But it’s true and it’s powerful—if you do it genuinely. In the midst of the madness, 69 | Blessed Magazine

Question: Do You Know Jesus?

Are You a Grinch at Christmas?

Quiz Results

If you chose the letter (d) on more than 3 categories and Christmas Tree numbered A along with your little helper of #2 or #4, you are definitely a Grinch!

If you chose the letter (a) on more than 6 categories and Christmas Tree numbered B, D or E along with your little helper of #1 or #3, you are not a Grinch!

If you chose the letter (b) on more than 4 categories and Christmas Tree numbered A along with your little helper of #2 or #4, you are definitely a Grinch!

If you chose the letter (c) on more than 5 categories and Christmas Tree numbered B, D or E along with your little helper of #1 or #3, you are not a Grinch!

Please note this quiz is for entertainment purposes only and do not reflect accurate outcomes of a persons personality or attitude

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We Need Your Help!

If anyone has seen or know the whereabouts of this little boy, please contact Bryan Keathley - pukydo@gmail.com 573-660-2346 cell – 573-785-3713 home Any Attorneys who would kindly help this family in need of assistance to get their little boy back is encouraged to contact Mr. Keathley