Blessed Magazine February/March, 2016 by Blessed Magazine Ministries

Carrie Underwood Discusses Faith: View the Interview

February/March 2016

M A G A Z I N E

Help!!! I‟m Married to An Atheist!

Want to Vacation for Almost Nothing? We‟ll Show You How

Is God Speaking To Me Through My Dreams?

3 Reasons Why You Should Keep a Prayer Journal

God‟s Purpose For Wives How to Live a Content Life in Christ Segregation of Churches…Is God Pleased?

Living in an Abusive Marriage Prayer Cards for Your

War Room

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25 Ways to Organize Your Life 5 Fresh Ideas for a Meaningful Valentine's Day

Christian Dating: 7 Steps You’ve Stepped Out of God’s Will

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Contents February/March, 2016

On the cover

Artist Spotlight:  Carrie Underwood Discusses Faith: Relationships:  Help!!! I’m Married to an Atheist! -- 13  God’s Purpose for Wives -- 17  Living in an Abusive Marriage -- 23 13  Christian Dating: 7 Steps You’ve Stepped Out of God’s Will -- 29  5 Fresh Ideas for a Meaningful Valentine's Day -- 33 Personal Wellness:  Is God Speaking To Me Through My Dreams? -- 39  How to Live a Content 56 Life in Christ -- 45  3 Reasons Why You Should Keep a Prayer Journal -- 53  25 Ways to Organize Your Life – 57 Travel  Want to Vacation for Almost Nothing? We’ll Show You How -- 63

06 Blessed Magazine February/March, 2016

Carrie Underwood Wallpaper by fullhdpictures.com

11 View the Interview -- 11

Also in this issueâ&#x20AC;Ś 37

A Word from the Lord by Evangelist Nancy Turner

Dear Blessed Magazine

We Heard You!

One of the strongest foundations on this earth is FAMILY Steps for a Strong Foundation in Jesus

Letter from the Editor

Read the Bible Together

Segregation of Churchesâ&#x20AC;ŚIs God Pleased?

Pray Together

Download Free War Room Prayer Cards

Go to Church Together Communicate with Each Other Blessed Magazine

Letter From the Editor

Praise the Lord My Brothers and Sisters in Christ! First giving all glory and honor unto the Lord Jesus Christ for without Him in my life, nothing I could ever do would amount to anything! And, I would like to render a praise report for the many souls who have accepted Jesus into their lives these past months. Continue praying for this ministry as it is all done to the glory and honor of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!!! There is so much going on these days, we must continue to seek God for everything in our lives. Keep praying for our spouses, our children, our loved ones and our friends. And, a special prayer for the many churches around the globe as the enemy is forever dividing and making havoc of the sanctuary, but we must endeavor to keep praying and believing God!!! This world seems to be turning upside down because so many have lost their way, but again, the devil is a liar and as long as our God (Jesus Christ) sits on His throne, we will be more than conquerors through Himâ&#x20AC;ŚAMEN I want to personally thank all of our fans and readers for their continued support of this ministry which is striving and for that I am grateful Our goal is to continue being a resource for Christians and others for years to come and with your support we can keep this publication available free of charge always on our digital platform Pray for us as we continue to pray for you and thank you for reading this issue of Blessed Magazine God bless you in this coming new year!

Yours in Christ,

Laraine Turner Editor in Chief 08 Blessed Magazine February/March, 2016

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Will Never Give Up On You!

Artist Spotlight Carrie Underwood's inspiring story of faith begins in rural Oklahoma, where she sang in the church choir at the First Free Will Baptist Church. After years of hard work trying to make it as a singer, she found her home on the American Idol stage. Upon winning the competition, she has gone on to stand with Kelly Clarkson as an incredibly successful American Idol. Through that her faith has stayed a part of her life, from church camps all the way through touring the world.

Discusses Faith: View the Interview

By Oprah

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Relationships

Help!!! Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2DC;m Married to An By Jack Wellman

Photo Credit: Shutterstock

There are hundreds of people who were former atheists who married other non-believers but then they came to saving faith in Jesus Christ. It might be within the first year of their marriage or after twenty years so, but then that joy can fade a bit when they realize that theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2DC;re married to an atheist, making them unequally yoked. And it was through no fault of their own. This is one of the hardest places in marriage that anyone can Blessed Magazine February/March, 2016 13

Relationships find themselves. In other cases, the engaged parties professed to be a Christian before marrying but then the Christian partner finds out later that they were lied to and they‘re not really a Christian at all (1 John 3). They too find themselves in an unequally yoked marriage, and again, through no fault of their own. What can a believing spouse do in such a marriage? Should they divorce?

Pray for Them If Jesus tells us to pray for our enemies, do good to them that hate us, and to love those who misuse or abuse us (Matt 5), then how can we not at least do that for our unbelieving spouse? Jesus ramped up the Ten Commandments by making them internal and not just external actions of obedience. For example, Jesus said we can commit murder in our hearts if we have hatred toward anyone, including our own spouse (Matt 5:21-26), so when your spouse attacks you with wounding words, remember “Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account” (Matt 5:11). Yes, words do hurt but to Jesus it doesn‘t really matter. God gives us no plan B; He says “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” (Matt 5:44). We should think about Jesus dying on the cross for His enemies and wicked sinners (Rom 5:8, 10), which is all of us, so I say, pray for those who hate you for we were once such as they are now (1 Cor 6:11) and were no more worthy of being saved than they are. Pray for your unbelieving spouse that God would send them the Holy Spirit to, first of all, show them what sin is and have them recognize their sinful status before God (Isaiah 59:2). Then pray for the Spirit to convict their hearts of the need to repent (Acts 2:37-38), which means to change their mind about sin and agree with God. And

14 Blessed Magazine February/March, 2016

finally, pray for God to have the Holy Spirit cause them to see their need for Jesus Christ, the Savior and then to bring them to saving faith in Christ by the free gift of grace (Eph 2:8-9) so that they might put their complete and uttermost trust in Christ (John 11:25-26). Please don‘t make the mistake of pressuring them or preaching to them; we all make a poor imitation of the Holy Spirit. We might end up driving them further from God. Don‘t get between the rock (the unsaved) and the Hammer (God). Live it, love it, and leave it; that is leave it up to the Lord because only God alone gives the increase (Acts 2:47).

Love Them The Apostle Peter‘s advice for the woman married to an unbeliever is to live a submissive life ―so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives‖ (1 Pet 3:1) but submitting only ―as unto the Lord‖ meaning she won‘t break the law of God just to submit to her husband. Her first allegiance is to God and His Law. Peter is saying that they might ―be won without a word by the conduct of their wives‖ and the same for men, having won their unbelieving spouse by their conduct. Paul says the same thing essentially but speaks to both men and women by his asking ―For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife‖ (1 Cor 7:16). This is obviously not biblical grounds for divorce. Paul says to ―let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him. This is my rule in all the churches‖ (1 Cor 6:17) and asks, ―Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be free. Are you free from a wife? Do not seek a wife‖ (1 Cor 6:27). Stay where you are in other words. Pray for them and love them but make sure

Relationships you know what type of love it is. Love is not just sending cards, flowers, notes, or saying it. Love is a verb and they‘ll remember your actions long after your words. What you do for them is how you prove it. What you say is meaningless until something‘s done to show it. Winning them ―without a word…by your conduct‖ is possible when it is God‘s will and doable by us, it is our will.

Photo Credit: Shutterstock

Do Good to Them We know we should pray for our unbelieving spouse. We also know that we must love them like nobody‘s business but we should also do good to them, even when they least deserve it. I remember a preacher once saying, ―When your child is the most unlovable of all is precisely the moment they need to be loved the most.‖ Jesus tells us, ―Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you.

Conclusion I guess I don‘t have enough faith to be an atheist because of all the external evidences of God in creation (Psalm 14:1; Rom 1) and from internal evidence in the Bible, which comes with its own exceedingly substantial archeological, historical, as well as fulfilled prophetic and manuscript evidence (numbering in the thousands). In the first place, let me ask you if you are an atheist, what evidence do you bring to me that God doesn‘t exist? You might say to me, ―Well, what evidence do you have that the tooth fairy doesn‘t exist?‖ Does the tooth fairy have any genealogical evidence? Are there any secular historians who wrote about her, it, or whatever it is? Have there been any archaeological digs where artifacts or written manuscripts have been substantiated that the tooth fairy existed (like the Bible has)? My final point is that we can share our faith with an unsaved spouse and then leave it in God‘s hands. We can only love them unconditionally, we can pray for them regardless of how they treat us, and we live a life above reproach, “so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives” (or husbands) (1 Pet 3:1).

To one who strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also, and from one who takes away your cloak do not withhold your tunic either‖ (Matt 5:27-29). If you do good to your unbelieving spouse even when they don‘t do good to you, then you‘re following Jesus‘ teachings. God will bless you for that but Jesus adds that we must bless them who curse us. If we ask God‘s blessing on them, then ―you will be sons (and daughters) of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil‖ (Luke 6:35b) and He expects us to do the same!

Blessed Magazine February/March, 2016 15

Relationships

Godâ&#x20AC;&#x2DC;s Purpose for Wives Woman Was Created by God for a Purpose By Pamela Rose Williams

Blessed Magazine February/March, 2016 17 Photo Credit: www.modny73.com

Relationships I have been a wife for more than half of my life. This is not to say that I have been a good wife and I will never be the perfect wife this side of heaven. I was married before I knew the Lord and as was said by Robert Driskell in his article entitled The Role of the Husband in a Christian Marriage ―being a follower of Jesus Christ changes people‖. I would like to say that knowing the Lord has made me a better wife and knowing my role as the wife has changed my marriage in the best way. In this article I will share with you what I have learned from the Bible about the role of the wife in a Christian marriage. For the most part I am speaking to Christian wives and women who desire to be good Christian wives. I ask that you prayerfully consider these concepts and guidelines and then see what happens when you take them to heart and apply them to your own life.

Woman Was Created By God For A Purpose When we read the Genesis account of Creation, we see that ―So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them” (Genesis 1:27). This is a general statement that is further explained as we read on in the book of Genesis. Details in the book show that the animals and every other creature were created before man and then man was given dominion over them (Genesis 1:28). Fast forward to Genesis chapter 2 and we learn that as man (Adam) was naming all of the animals (the birds of the air, the cattle and every beast of the field) he did not find one that would help to meet his own need of a mate. And so our great God caused Adam to fall into a deep sleep at which time God took one of Adam‘s ribs and made a woman. Adam saw the woman and named her ―woman‖ because she was now bone of his bones and flesh of his flesh (Genesis 2:20-23).

At the end of Genesis chapter 2 we see for what purpose the woman was made:

Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh (Genesis 2:24) Woman was made by God for man. Her main purpose on earth is to be in a one flesh relationship with her husband. This is God‘s original design and as we read through the Bible we find more truth for the role of the wife.

A wife should follow her husband’s leadership As we get into chapter 3 of Genesis we read of the fall of man (and woman). We see how Eve was left to herself in the garden and she was tempted and deceived by the serpent, who led her to eat from the tree in the midst of the garden that had been forbidden by God (Genesis 2:17). This command was given to Adam and he must have told his wife the one and only rule that they had in the garden — don‘t eat from that tree – because we see that she repeats it to that serpent here: And the woman said unto the serpent, We may eat of the fruit of the trees of the garden: But of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God hath said, Ye shall not eat of it, neither shall ye touch it, lest ye die. (Genesis 3:23)

Photo Credit: Shutterstock

18 Blessed Magazine February/March, 2016

Relationships Eve did not follow her husband‘s leadership when he told her the one rule she could not break and the result was sin. After this first sinful act (in which Adam also participated – Genesis 3:6) God further defined the role of the husband and the wife as follows: Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee. And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life; Thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee; and thou shalt eat the herb of the field; In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return. (Genesis 3:16-19) ―… and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.‖ The idea of the wife being in submission to the husband is not something that was made up by some women‘s rights organization. This is how God made it. God gave Adam a wife to ―help meet‖ his needs. She was designed for him and when she started doing things out of the lust of her own flesh the result was sin. This is very true in our marriages today. God gave us a husband to lead us and when we go against his godly leadership many times we fall into sin. Every partnership needs a leader, when we refuse to be led by our husband we are going against a fundamental biblical principle set by God. When we go against our husband‘s leadership; we are going against God‘s design for us. If you disagree with this, then you disagree with God and I pray that you will have a change of mind and agree with God‘s plan. The only exception to this is

when our husband tells us to do something contrary to what God‘s word tells us to do. I can say from my own experience, following my husband‘s leadership is the best choice I have ever made in our marriage.

A Wife Should Care for Her Husband Your husband‘s job is to provide for you (as we saw in Genesis 3 above). He is made to work hard for provision. I understand there are circumstances in which the husband is not able to work – he is physically unable. In this case the wife may work outside of the home. Even so, you were created to ―help meet‖ his needs and one of them is his need to have a comfortable living environment. When he comes home from work, you should have a meal prepared for him. His house should be tidy and his laundry should be clean. The children should be trained to understand that ―Daddy‖ has worked hard all day and he will spend time with them after he spends time with you. A few minutes when hubby comes home from work is essential to your relationship with him. Spend 15 to 20 minutes just talking – the two of you. Do this before children ever come into your marriage and then when the children come, teach them that this is ―Mommy and Daddy‘s time‖. Theirs will come when you are finished. Another thing that a husband needs is a close physical relationship. A good morning kiss and a kiss when he leaves for work are essential. A hug and a kiss when he returns home and your heartfelt desire to ―welcome‖ him home is something he deserves. Other physical relations are also necessary. Plan time to spend in the bedroom; just the two of you. Your husband loves you and knows that you may not always be able to have the physical relations that he would like.

Blessed Magazine February/March, 2016 19

Relationships This is to be expected, but this should be the exception rather than the rule. Make special time just for him – get your needed rest so you can enjoy each other. Make a ―date night‖ regularly, even if it is just to go out and get some fast food, or take a walk in the park. My husband and I do not have lots of money for date time so we look for creative ways to enjoy time together. I remember one time when I planned a beach picnic for supper – in the dead of winter up north! I put on some Beach Boys music in the bedroom, laid beach towels on the bed and made a picnic meal. I put on my swimsuit and tied my hair in a ponytail. I rubbed down with some tropical oil so the ―smell of the beach‖ would be in the bedroom. When he arrived home from work I gave him instructions to change into his swim clothes (which I hung in the bathroom) and then join me ―ocean side‖. This was a cost free date and we made a great memory too! Feel free to use this idea for your own special time.

Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love. (Proverbs 5:18-19)

Photo Credit: Shutterstock

A Wife Must Be Careful What She Says: Love Him Gossip and backbiting destroys It is so easy to get caught up in gossip when we

20 Blessed Magazine February/March, 2016

are with our girlfriends. I am sometimes just astounded at what some women will say about their husbands. Our husband should be the most important relationship we have – next to our relationship with God. We must be careful what we say about him. Our conversation (including our body language) should be always kind and tenderhearted. We must remember that we are walking, talking examples of someone who is indwelled with the Holy Spirit. We should display only the fruit that is produced of the Holy Spirit, therefore the conversation we have about our husband should resemble the following scripture: But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law. And they that are Christ‘s have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. (Galatians 5:22-25)

Do you love him enough to live for him? Ladies, how much do you love your husband? Truly the Bible tells us that a husband should love his wife enough that he is willing to die for her (Ephesians 5:25); but what about the wife? The original design for us is to live for our husband because he is our earthly representative of Christ (Ephesians 5:23). We were created for him and from him. We were created to bare his children. We were made to have desire for him only. This means that his needs must come before our own. Remember, I am talking to the ladies here and know that your love for your husband is independent of his love for you. What I mean to say is, you cannot control how he is toward you, but you can make a daily choice to love him in spite of how he loves you. Our biblical command to love one another is simple and it comes right out of the mouth of Jesus: ―A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another‖ (John 13:34).

Relationships Conclusion Today‘s world views have distorted the biblical truth that woman was created for man. As Christian wives, when we get back to the fundamentals we can be the best wife that God has made us to be. God‘s design is perfect and although we will never be perfect this side of heaven, we can strive to follow our husband‘s leadership, care for him, respect him in all manner of our conversation and live our life to help meet his needs. The marriage relationship on earth is a living representation of Christ‘s relationship to the church, His bride (Ephesians 5:21-33). When we unselfishly love and live for our husband we glorify Christ and teach the world the true role of the Christian wife. God knows best and when we agree with Him our marriages will be blessed. It is a daily choice, are you choosing to follow God‘s way?

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Relationships

Living in an Abusive Marriage Photo Credit: Shutterstock

By Gwyneth Nelson

â&#x20AC;&#x153;I couldn't believe this was my reality. And I couldn't see a way out.â&#x20AC;?

"Did Daddy do that?" my daughter asked. Lying on the floor in the doorway of her room, I was stunned as I realized my daughter had just witnessed undeniable physical abuse. Tom's* anger had escalated into unrestrained rage, and he'd thrown me into our daughter's bedroom. Confused, I began to question my situation: Was I really experiencing domestic violence in my Christian home? Blessed Magazine February/March, 2016 23

Relationships I'd denied the truth so long I was unable to recognize what was really happening. The abuse had started subtly and grown insidiously. My husband and I claimed to be Christians, so how could our marriage be abusive? Unable to give my four-year-old daughter any more excuses, I said, "Yes, Daddy did that." Then I locked us in her room and crawled in bed with her until she fell asleep. That night I resolved to stop the impact of domestic abuse in my daughter's life—a difficult decision that finally pointed me in the direction of healing.

Control Issues It was inconceivable to me that I'd ever be in such circumstances. Born and raised in a loving pastor's family, I was steeped in conservative evangelical culture. As a "good girl," I got good grades, participated in extra-curricular school activities, and was a leader in the church youth group. I lived to please others, worked hard to offend no one, and had an internal drive to create a wonderful life. Though I had a relationship with Christ, I lived as if the good life depended on my good performance. I met Tom at the Christian liberal arts college we both attended. He was handsome, intelligent, and interesting—always looking for adventure and fun. His father was a pastor, so we'd been raised in similar Christian cultures. Tom often discussed theology and doctrine, and he cared genuinely about people's salvation. Our wedding was a large, elaborate, Godcentered event. I envisioned our marriage to be a shared life of service and impact for God's kingdom. I also believed that if I performed well, my marriage would go well and we'd have a good life together. Though, looking back, I realized Tom was very selfcentered while we were dating, I hadn't seen any red flags about the abuse that was to come. But early on I saw signs that life was going to be very different from what I'd envisioned. After returning from our honeymoon, Tom expected to use the entire closet in our bedroom while I used a closet in another room.

24 Blessed Magazine February/March, 2016

He said this was because he'd moved into the apartment first. We went to the bank to put his name on my checks, but he didn't want my name on his. He monitored my purchases, even though I was working full-time and we weren't struggling financially. He was more concerned about controlling what I bought than how much money I spent. If I didn't comply with Tom's expectations or get his permission, he'd become angry and yell. For example, when I purchased drinking glasses and a shower curtain, he raged at me because he'd expected to choose those items himself. I'd eagerly anticipated freely organizing and decorating our home. Instead, I began to adjust to the practice of gaining approval for things such as hanging a picture on the wall. Six months into our marriage, Tom began to come home from work late—often into the next morning—without telling me his plans. More than once I called the police and hospitals, concerned he was hurt or in trouble. Upon returning home, he'd ridicule me for worrying. He insisted that if I inquired about where he was or when he'd return, I was controlling him. He chided me for what he called my lack of trust in him. More than once, he yelled so loudly at me that the neighbors knocked at the door and asked if everything was all right. Embarrassed and ashamed, I said everything was fine. But as I began to internalize Tom's accusations and criticisms, both my confidence and my selfworth began to crumble. I couldn't confidently discard old food from our refrigerator without fearing a blow up because I'd mistakenly tossed something Tom wanted to eat. When he said I was addicted to worship music, I spent less time listening to praise songs. As my self-worth eroded, I questioned my ability to be a loving wife and mother, and whether I was truly a woman of faith.

Keeping Up Appearances On the outside we looked put-together, especially in our Christian circles. Tom appeared spiritually

Relationships mature. He prayed eloquent prayers, participated in deep theological discussions, and often referenced Scripture to support his insights. We hosted small group meetings, led Sunday school classes, and hosted fun parties for our Christian friends. I did everything I could to establish the appearance of the godly partnership I desired. But behind closed doors, things weren't fine. Unable to predict when the switch would flip on Tom's anger, I walked on eggshells. Without warning, I'd suddenly become the object of Tom's uncontrolled, frightening rage. Sometimes as I tried to back away, he'd corner me. He'd grab me by the shoulders and yell in my face. Sometimes he'd shake me and drop me to the floor. Before leaving for work one day, he screamed, "You're insolent, impudent, and intransigent!" He punctuated this rant by punching and cracking the closet door as he stormed out of the house. Episodes like this were common. Because our situation was so intense, I was in constant conversation with God. I pored through Scripture to find direction and connection to my Savior. I took to heart Tom's accusations that I was ungodly, unsubmissive, and prideful, and constantly confessed my sin. I also took seriously the scriptural reference to forgive 70 times 7, so as Tom's rages continued, I focused on forgiveness and mercy. Though I rarely received bruises, the ever-present threat of physical harm was devastating and, at times, immobilizing. By far, the most harm I received was emotional. He'd call me a self-righteous b**** or a f***ing "good-girl" and end a tirade with a Scripture reference: "I'm just speaking the truth in love." He repeatedly told me what was "true" about me: I was controlling, disrespectful, unsubmissive, and selfimportant. I lost confidence in my ability to identify reality. "Truth" had been verbally twisted and used against me. The fear and constant threat of attack rendered me an emotional weakling. My natural response was to work harder on myself. As a college-educated woman with a corporate career

and a deep desire to serve God, I thought I must be capable of turning things around. Surely, I reasoned, Tom loves me. I just have to respect him more. Sometimes I am self-righteous and controlling. If I could be more humble, then things would be better. But nothing made a difference. As a result, I retreated into a quiet shell. I became smaller and Tom became bigger, louder, and more domineering. All the while, I was tenacious about hanging on to allow every opportunity for God to work a miracle and heal our relationship.

Going Public Things became worse after our daughter was born. Tom continued a chaotic schedule. When he was home, his anger often erupted unprovoked. My daughter witnessed many verbal rages. Although directed at me, she was clearly affected by them. She began to respond as I didâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;trying not to disturb Tom and doing her best to please him.

Photo Credit: Shutterstock

When a situation involving Tom's family members caused him great pain, I suggested we go to counseling to consider how to respond. He was open to this as it gave him a chance to talk about the shortcomings and dysfunction of others in his family. Eventually his focus shifted from his family, and he began to blame and accuse me. Driving to appointments, he'd warn that I shouldn't disrespect him in front of the counselor. And then during our sessions, Tom did most of the talking, attempting to convince the counselor I was controlling and disrespectful.

Blessed Magazine February/March, 2016 25

Relationships Our counselor made recommendations, and Tom's participation was marginal. For example, Tom was asked to call an accountability partner when he felt he was going to rage. But when the rage occurred, he'd tell me that because he hadn't truly raged he didn't need to call the friend. During counseling sessions, if I said something Tom disliked, he'd rage in the car on the way home and drive dangerously as he blustered. But even with counseling, our situation didn't seem to get better. Typically the worst of Tom's rage was limited to our home, with only the three of us present. However, I was stunned and ashamed when my mom spent several days with us and witnessed Tom's manipulation, control, and chaotic schedule. Erratically driving the four of us to an event, Tom raged in the car. Mom confronted him, saying that if he was going to continue to drive that way he needed to stop and let the rest of us get out of the car. He simply grew silent and continued his dangerous driving. She became so uncomfortable with the hostility that she called my father to arrange an earlier flight home. After my mom witnessed the abuse, I felt ready to speak up. I called our counselor and asked if I could talk to him without Tom in the room. I wrote what I intended to say to help ensure I'd actually say it. Choking through tears and shaking fearfully, I read my notesâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;and opened another door to truth and healing. The counselor listened intently and acknowledged that what I revealed clarified things for him. His next recommendation was for both of us to bring support partners into our sessions. We were to go to others in the body of Christ we could trust, those who would hold us accountable to truth and compassionate action, and ask them for support. Through this I learned to accept one of the most important truths about the healing process: God uses the community of believers to facilitate his healing. Tom used this opportunity differently. He redirected his accounts of my perceived shortcomings and provocations to his

26 Blessed Magazine February/March, 2016

support partners and was unwilling to accept their pleas for him to take responsibility for his anger. At the insistence of the counselor, I shared the messy truth about my marriage with my family and four close girlfriends. I wasn't afraid of telling them, but I was terrified to actually face the abuse. No one was surprised to hear what was happening. Rather, they expressed relief as my story finally reconciled the inconsistencies they'd witnessed in my marriage. They began the long journey with me toward healing and resolution. My support partners sat in counseling sessions with me and cried and shook in anguish while listening to Tom's hostile accusations. As a result, they feared for my physical and emotional safety and checked in with me often. Family and friends wanted me to separate, and they faithfully and respectfully stood by me until I was ready. Through this extremely difficult time, they educated themselves about domestic violence, which was a vital blessing to me. Together, we learned there were no easy answers. They prayed, searched Scripture with me, and listened as I processed my confusion and fear. They gave their time and emotional energy and experienced their own pain as they helped me. Counselors and pastors made many appeals for Tom to be accountable to other men for handling his rage. These attempts to stop the abuse were unsuccessful, and, nearly two years after Tom threw me into our daughter's room, I made the decision to separate. I wanted restoration, and I knew that if Tom and I separated, divorce was possibleâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;but I needed to do what was best for my daughter's and my health and safety. I wondered how divorce would affect my daughter. I also knew how the church viewed divorce and wondered if my church would accept my decision. And worse, I wondered how God would respond to me.

Finding God Faithful

Relationships After several years of separation, Tom and I divorced. I'm now a single mom with the daunting responsibility of providing financially for my daughter and me. Our new life isn't easy, but I feel grateful every day. My daughter is healthy and thriving. Due to the abuse, she's in my full legal custody. However, she sees her dad regularly. This requires me to communicate with Tom, and he's often abusive in phone conversations and e-mails. So I continue to wade through the wake of domestic violence. However, from experience I know it's possible to put victimization behind and find renewed direction, passion, and purpose.

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The grief I experienced over the failure of my marriage was overwhelming, and the recovery process has been grueling. But God hasn't abandoned me. Rather, he's drawn me closer to him. I learned God's grace is completely reliable, and he can handle the messy truths in our lives. And the most awesome realization is that God wants to use me. As God now regularly opens doors of ministry to me, I'm charged with telling my story and sharing his message of grace. Throughout my recovery, I clung to Psalm 18 from The Message as a source of comfort: But me he caughtâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;reached all the way from sky to sea; he pulled me out Of that ocean of hate, that enemy chaos, the void in which I was drowning. They hit me when I was down, but God stuck by me. He stood me up on a wide-open field; I stood there savedâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;surprised to be loved! Gwyneth Nelson is a pseudonym.

Blessed Magazine February/March, 2016 27

'How Love Can Survive Prison Walls' Get the compelling book that provides hope and tips on how to survive while your loved one is in prison Click Here To Download Your eBook “I don’t know how I would have survived if it wasn’t for the prayers of the staff at Blessed Magazine. They truly love God’s people and are always providing inspiration for those of us who are hurting. Thank you again for this eBook; it was a blessing to me and my family!” – Teresa A.

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Relationships

Christian Dating: 7 Steps You‘ve Stepped Out of God‘s Will By Belief.net

Blessed Magazine February/March, 2016 29 Photo Credit: Shutterstock

Relationships Is My Relationship In God's Will?

"The relationship will be chronically insecure.“

You ever get that feeling something just isn‘t quite right? Dating someone should be a ‗you, me and God‘ thing but if it‘s not it might be a sign that you‘ve missed His will. Here are seven things to look out for when this happens.

God is the only foundation we should ever build any relationship on, anything else is shifting sand. Especially when a relationship becomes an idol, God will sometimes pull the rug right from under us to remind us who our True Source really is. We can‘t find eternal security in others, only Him.

"You step out from under the flow of His grace.“

There is a an umbrella like flow of God‘s grace that pours down in our lives when we‘re in alignment with His will. It creates a protection that guards our joy and deepens our walk with Him. When we‘re out of His will for our life, especially in relationships, we remove ourselves from this protective barrier. "You become more vulnerable to enemy tactics.“ The last place the enemy wants you to be is in the will of God. If he can get you off God‘s path for your life, he has more opportunity to influence you negatively and walk you into the destructive plan he has instead.

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"It‟s harder to have spiritual intimacy and fellowship.“

"No direction or clarity.“

Your spiritual life suffers, when we disobey God‘s purpose and plan. When we find it difficult to pray, read our Bible or have fellowship with other believers that‘s an indicator that something is wrong. Ask the Holy Spirit for wisdom and revelation to help you.

Confusion will come, which is another clear indicator that you‘re out of alignment. The Bible says that God is not the author of confusion, so if we‘re battling confusion and aren‘t clear about someone we‘re dating we should be adamant to find out how to reposition our hearts for peace.

"You don‟t feel like yourself.“ Having a hard time recognizing the person you‘ve become? If you have made major noticeable changes to be someone you‘re not just to be in a relationship than you‘re not getting the best God has for you. He would never ask you to hide, compromise or dumbdown who you really are to find love. He doesn‘t ask that of us and He certainly doesn‘t want us living like this as we relate to others.

30 Blessed Magazine February/March, 2016

"Family and friends notice something‟s not right.“ Those closest to you will begin to minister for your spiritual well being. God‘s will is the safest place for His children, but once we start veering, we could be headed for some serious danger. Listen to loved ones, seek God‘s Kingdom and wisdom. Do whatever needs to be done to get your life where it needs to be…even if it means letting someone go.

Embracing Singleness and Loneliness This booklet is compiled with inspirations to encourage you while embracing the Lord through those periods of single and loneliness

Click Here To Download Your eBook If I could give this eBook 10 stars I would because it has been an eye opener for me. I didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know how to fully cope with being a single male and the ache of loneliness, but this book has inspired me to pray more and seek the face of God. Thank you Blessed Magazineâ&#x20AC;Ś..Thomas Y.

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Listen, If God is not glorified in everything we do, then we are simply wasting our time. God must be glorified in our walk and in our talk. If this isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t happening, wellâ&#x20AC;Śwhatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the point in existing?

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Relationships

5 Fresh Ideas for a Meaningful Valentine's Day By Tony Rankin

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Relationships You may experience that cumulative effect of high expectations or dread when it comes to Valentine's Day. Yet, in your heart, you truly want to share a meaningful memory with your valentine. Holidays intended to be filled with expressions of intimate thoughts, romance and connection do not have to be full of anticipation that steals the meaning of love. You can do this without spending a lot of money, going on elaborate trips or writing your thoughts in the sky with an airplane. As you make plans, focus more on being creatively meaningful to reveal your love. The key word here is meaningful: significant, important, worthwhile, sincere, deep, expressive, and eloquent. The experience is what brings meaning and usually that can be done with a little forethought and time. 1. Ask your valentine for ideas. You've probably learned by now that guessing and mind reading do not work. Just showing how delighted you are to please your valentine will encourage a genuine response. And when you hear his or her response, believe it whether it is short or long. Avoid thinking the other person is using reverse psychology. This is a good relational skill to learn together. Believe, trust and don't try to guess. 2. Plan a top-10 list together.

Each of you could prepare a list of meaningful, fun and romantic places you have been together. Then, talk about your lists and see what you have in common. Make plans to go to the top place (or some place similar) or to as many places on the list as you can during February. Don't forget to take some pictures at each location.

marriage you have celebrated. If you've been married 37 years, you can only spend up to $37 for the evening. Remember when you first met and the simple things meant so much? Think about some of the meaningful places you have been that didn't cost much but made great memories. Get creative. Splurge on the romance of it all. 4. Relive the memories together. If you have collected Valentine's Day cards throughout the years, pull them out and read them to each other. Look through family photos or videos. Tell stories you remember. Laugh. Cry. Recall what you value about each other and say it aloud. 5. Re-create your first date. Think back through some of the details of that date: where you went, what you wore, what you did. Plan together to redo the date. Or, keep your plans a secret and surprise your valentine. Then, while you're celebrating together, share the thoughts you had as you recall those first impressions and conversations. Be amazed at how God brought you togetherâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;relive falling in love. What will it be like this year? Whatever you do, make sure you spend time together with the One who brought you together. Pray and thank God for the special times He has given you and for His faithfulness through the years. A little thought can go a long way. So make a meaningful memory and celebrate your chance to say "I love you" to the one closest to your heart.

3. Focus on each other and less on money. Decide to spend no more than $1 per year of

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by Evangelist Nancy Turner When you are feeling lonely and seem like no one cares You don't even feel good about yourself you need a word from the Lord…

We are sometimes burdened with the cares of this world and don't know what to do. But there is only one way to receive help when we are burdened and that is from the Word of the Lord. We have to realize that God is our burden bearer. He said in His word, ‗Cast all your cares upon Him, for He careth for you‘: 1 Peter: 5:7 We are the people of God the Word of God let us know: He shall sustain thee, He shall never suffer the righteous to be moved: Psalms: 55:22b We have to remember to depend and believe in the word of God and He will lift the burden and see you through This is (A Word from the Lord) Blessed Magazine February/March, 2016 37

God‟s Promises The Bible is filled with countless promises to us from our Heavenly Father Discover what those promises are in this free eBook today Click Here To Download Your eBook “Thank you, thank you Blessed Magazine for making this eBook available. These biblical promises has encouraged me so much in my walk with the Lord”…..Yolanda W.

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Personal Wellness

Is God Speaking To Me Through My Dreams? By Jack Wellman

Do Christians have dreams that have meaning? Is there a way for believers to interpret these dreams? Does God communicate to Christians by dreams or does God speak to us in our dreams? Blessed Magazine February/March, 2016 39

Personal Wellness Joseph, Interpreter of Dreams The Bible describes situations where dreams are interpreted and one of the best examples of this is when Joseph interpreted the dream of the Egyptian Pharaoh (Genesis 41). Joseph had been thrown into prison unfairly and when he was able to interpret the dreams of the baker and the cup bearer and when the cup bearer heard that Pharaoh had a dream he remembered Josephs God-given ability to interpret dreams (Genesis 40). Pharaoh freed Joseph from prison and Joseph interpreted the dream by Pharaoh and by doing so, many nations were saved, including the nation-to-be, Israel. Joseph warned the Pharaoh of a soon-coming drought that would lay waste the entire region for 7 years. But does God still send dreams to those in the church and even those outside of the church?

God, Giver of Dreams God gives us all, believers and non-believers, the ability to dream. These dreams can sometimes have meaning and I do believe God does use dreams to send Christians messages but He also sends dreams to those who do not yet know Christ. I have communicated with some Muslims who had abandoned their love for the Islamic religion and they have informed many that they had dreams about Jesus. One former Muslim told me that he had a dream of Jesus on a boat in a river. Jesus was waving to him and asking him to come to Him. In this dream, the former Muslim said that he jumped into the river where there was danger and swam to Jesus and when he got on the boat with Jesus, the former Muslim asked Jesus many questions. God has and still does use dreams to reach lost people who have no access to a Bible or to Christian missionaries. This man woke from the dream and sought out a Christian and wanted to read the Bible. He later put his trust in the Savior. This squares with what is written in the Word that the Father draws men and women to Christ (John 6:44). The point is 40 Blessed Magazine February/March, 2016

that there are literally hundreds of former Muslims who have become disillusioned with the Islamic faith and converted to Christianity because the love of Christ attracted them. What stands out most to these former Muslims is that God spoke to them in dreams, and some say, visions. There is little doubt that God has, can, and will in the future use dreams to speak not only to Christians but those still outside of the faith.

God Speaks to Us We know that the Bible is God‘s very Word and that His Word, contained in the Bible, speaks to nonbelievers as well as believers today. We cannot limit God or put Him in a box and so I cannot say that every dream we have is from God but at the same time, it is very possible that God will speak to us in dreams. John had a vision from God and that is recorded in much of the Book of Revelation. Even Paul was caught up into the heavenly realm where he saw many things, some of which he was forbidden to even speak about. In 2 Corinthians 12:1-4 Paul wrote about this, ―Boasting is necessary, though it is not profitable; but I will go on to visions and revelations of the Lord. I know a man in Christ who fourteen years ago—whether in the body I do not know, or out of the body I do not know, God knows—such a man was caught up to the third heaven. And I know how such a man—whether in the body or apart from the body I do not know, God knows — was caught up into Paradise and heard inexpressible words, which a man is not permitted to speak.‖ God does speaks to us today through His Word but He also reserves the right to speak to us in our dreams and to those who are at present, lost. Then the question arises, how do we know whether a dream is from God or just by random chance and has no meaning?

Discerning Whether Dreams Are From God or Not

Personal Wellness Since we know that God does use dreams to communicate to non-believers who are being called to faith in Christ and also sometimes uses dreams to speak to Christians, how can we know whether the dream or vision is from God? The main determining factor as to whether a dream or vision is from God or not and to whether we are to act on this vision or dream is if it agrees with what is written in the Bible. God will never contradict Himself. That is, He will never send a dream or vision that is contrary to what is recorded in His Holy Word, the Bible. Whatever a person dreams can be placed against what is recorded and revealed in the Bible to see whether it is His message or His will for us or someone else. We cannot just have a dream and claim that God spoke to us and use that dream as concrete evidence to do something or that it was a message from God…particularly if it goes against what is taught in the Bible. God is not the Author of confusion. The Holy Spirit always agrees with what is in the written Word. No dream or vision that goes directly against what is written in the Bible is from God. Who knows, this dream or vision may well be from the Enemy or one of his fallen angels, demons. We must use discernment to determine if God wants us to do something or not.

became hungry and wanted something to eat, but while they were preparing it, he fell into a trance and saw the heavens opened and something like a great sheet descending, being let down by its four corners upon the earth. In it were all kinds of animals and reptiles and birds of the air. And there came a voice to him: ‗Rise, Peter; kill and eat.‘‖ But Peter said, ―By no means, Lord; for I have never eaten anything that is common or unclean.‖ And the voice came to him again a second time, ―What God has made clean, do not call common.‖ This happened three times, and the thing was taken up at once to heaven. God sent this vision to Peter to tell him that the gospel of grace would now go out to the Gentiles. God was establishing the fact that the legalism of clean and unclean foods was now done away with and the analogy of the Jews thinking that the Gentiles were unclean was wrong. God wanted to take the gospel to the whole world and not just to the children of Abraham.

Joel, Peter and Visions The prophet Joel spoke about dreams and visions when he wrote in Joel 2:28-29 saying that, ―it shall come to pass afterward, that I will pour out my Spirit on all flesh; your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, your old men shall dream dreams, and your young men shall see visions. Even on the male and female servants in those days I will pour out my Spirit.‖ This prophecy came true on the day of Pentecost with the birth of the church and the coming of God the Holy Spirit to men and women. The Apostle Peter had a vision from God in Acts 10:9-16, ―The next day, as they were on their journey and approaching the city, Peter went up on the housetop about the sixth hour to pray. And he

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Conclusion We have seen that God can and has used dreams to speak to believers and to non-believers. He sometimes uses these dreams to reveal His will to Christians and sometimes to draw non-believers to saving faith in Christ. We also understand that not every dream is from God and that dreams must be placed against the Word of God to see if they are from God or not…and if God is speaking to us or someone else to show them His will. Dreams sent

Blessed Magazine February/March, 2016 41

Personal Wellness from God never contradict Scripture but always agree with the Word. Dreams are a way that God is still using to communicate to believers and to call those outside of the faith to Jesus. If someone tries to interpret your dream and tells you something contrary to the Bible, then donâ&#x20AC;&#x2DC;t believe it. God never uses extrabiblical evidence like dreams to go against that which is revealed in His Word. Does God use dreams to speak to believers? Does God use dreams to communicate to non-believers? Yes, in both cases. The only way we can know for sure is whether it is in alignment with the Bible. If it is, then it could well be that God is speaking to you or someone else in dreams. If it is contrary to Scriptures, then donâ&#x20AC;&#x2DC;t believe it, for even the Enemy can be disguised as an angel of light (2 Corinthians 11:14).

42 Blessed Magazine February/March, 2016

Embracing Singleness and Loneliness This booklet is compiled with inspirations to encourage you while embracing the Lord through those periods of single and loneliness

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Personal Wellness

How to Live a Content Life in Photo Credit: Shutterstock

Christ By David Peach

One of the things that convicts me every time I visit pastors in another country is how much they love to study Godâ&#x20AC;&#x2DC;s Word and share what they learn with others. These are usually men who have nothing materially other than the basic necessities and a copy of the Bible. Blessed Magazine February/March, 2016 45

Personal Wellness As I write this I am in the country of Ethiopia. I spent yesterday afternoon praying with four pastors. One is blind, one deaf, one with serious heart problems and the fourth seems to be doing well physically. These four men, along with many other good men here, are doing all they can to learn from God so that they can reach their country and other nations for the Lord.

to be content with the things God provided. Nowhere does the Bible say that to be a good Christian you have to suffer physically and with great poverty. However, to be a great Christian you should be willing to do so if God calls you to it. Paul said that he was content with the ups and downs he saw in the ministry because he knew God would provide.

None of them have much in the way of material goods. Yet, they love the Lord. They have a great satisfaction with what God has granted them and they are honestly thankful for their conditions. They each praise God for His goodness to them.

Contentment Can Be Learned

What can we learn from those who are content?

Trust God Trust that God has a plan and a reason for everything (Romans 8:28). Even if we do not see the reason or understand the way He is working, God still has a plan. When we try to force God into our plans, then we will be frustrated and lack contentment. Have you ever made plans at work and had your supervisor come in and change your schedule for the day? Even if you knew that the new plans were the right thing for the company, it is frustrating to have your goals adjusted by other people. However, if you will submit your plans and schedule (or your will) to your supervisor‘s control, then you will experience less frustration when you can trust their judgment over your own. That is exactly the way we should be with God. Trust that He knows what is best and that His goals are the right ones. This is what the book of James talks about in chapter 4.

Accept God’s Provisions In Philippians 4:11 and 12 Paul says that he learned

46 Blessed Magazine February/March, 2016

Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. (Philippians 4:11-12) I believe that when you realize contentment can be learned, you are well on your way to experiencing the contentment God has for you. Paul says, in the above verses from Philippians, that he learned to be content. He didn‘t say he had always been content, but it was a trait he learned. Paul did not always have an easy life. We know he spent time in prison for the sake of the Gospel. He apparently had a physical limitation that he asked the Lord to take away from him in 2 Corinthians 12. He was not always content with that ailment, but he accepted the Lord‘s answer. Maybe you have struggled with contentment in the past. Take comfort in the fact that contentment can be learned.

Serve Others The Bible talks often about serving others. When we do this we stop focusing on our own problems and needs and begin fulfilling the needs of others. I love hosting, leading or participating in mission trips. One thing that is consistent with those on the

Personal Wellness trip is that they say they are going to be a blessing to others. And, just as consistently, their testimony after the trip is that they received a greater blessing than they could have possibly been to someone else. When you serve others you will have greater contentment.

Contentment Is Not Found In Things Many times we think that if we had a little bit more of the thing we desire then we would be content. For you it may be money or better health. Some people are looking for a bigger house or a longer vacation. Yet contentment is not dependent on what you have, it is an attitude.

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If you cannot be content with $5 extra spending money, then you probably would not be content if you had $20. That is four times the amount of money you previously had available. But your contentment is not determined by the things you have. This does not mean that you should never try harder to better your financial state or acquire nicer things, but don‘t fall into the trap of thinking that better things will make you content. Contentment comes from trusting God for what you have now and asking His help so that you can do more in the future with what He has granted.

Attitude, Not State Of Being As stated previously, don‘t think you will be content when you have more and more. That is not the source of contentment. Contentment is an attitude you have and not an amount of money you possess. Paul told Timothy in 1 Timothy 6:6-10 that contentment is something completely separate from a desire to have more money. In fact, loving things and a desire to be rich will drive you away from an attitude of contentment.

Contentment In Salvation I know there are non-Christians who claim they are content, but I can‘t imagine that they could possibly experience the contentment of a Christian. I have people say to me all the time, ―I bet your work is very rewarding to you.‖ Honestly, I derive my satisfaction from knowing my position in Christ, not because of my work for others. I do enjoy serving others the way I do, but I do this out of gratitude for my Savior, not because of some great reward that serving others provides me. Hebrews 13:5 and 6 remind us that we have a Savior who will sustain us in all things. It does not say that only in good times will our Savior provide us protection and contentment, but at all times. Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me. (Hebrews 13:5-6) I trust these seven tips for living a contented life have been a help to you. Trust the Lord for your eternal life in the future and your daily life today. When you place your hope and trust in Him then you will find more contentment.

Blessed Magazine February/March, 2016 47

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Dear Blessed Magazine…

Dear Blessed Magazine, Thank you so much for your study on Revelation as I have always wondered about that book, but could never understand it – Word Geek Dear Word Geek, Thank you for contacting us about our current studies on the book of Revelation. We are grateful we have been an outlet for you to learn more about the word of God and would like to express how we like your name ‘Word Geek’. Remain blessed of the Lord Jesus always! – Blessed Magazine Dear Blessed Magazine, I love, love, love your ‘Let’s Talk’ as it helps me to think outside the box about different passages of the bible. I am learning so much from that forum. Keep up the good work! – Excited Dear Excited, Thank you for contacting us and you are quite welcome! Like yourself, we have had countless individuals contact us wanting more and more questions and we aim to please, so hold on tight as we continue posting questions about the word of God in our ‘Let’s Talk’ forum. Thank you for contacting Blessed Magazine. Remain blessed of

the Lord Jesus always! – Blessed Magazine

etc. Again, thank you for being a supporter of this ministry. Remain blessed – Blessed Magazine

Dear Blessed Magazine, Dear Blessed Magazine, I wanted to contact you to let you know that your prayers for me and my husband has been heard. I am so grateful to God for putting me in touch with your ministry as it has been an inspiration to me. Thank you for all you do! – A Grateful Heart Dear A Grateful Heart, Praise the Lord for hearing His people and we are grateful God has blessed you. We’ll continue lifting you and your family before the Lord in prayer! Remain blessed of the Lord Jesus always! – Blessed Magazine Dear Blessed Magazine, I really enjoy your magazine and your Facebook page, but it would be nice if I could get your magazine in print. Do you guys know when it will begin to be available? – Just Me Dear Just Me, Thank you for reaching out to us about our magazine being in print. We are currently searching for a printer who will print the magazines without it being too expensive for our readers. Until we do, our magazine is mobile friendly and can be viewed on all tablets, Smartphones,

I’ve been a fan since 2013 and don’t understand why your private message button is gone. What if someone wants to contact you in private; they can’t because you have turned off your message function. Is it that you don’t want to hear from your fans? – Loyal Fan Dear Loyal Fan, Thank you for expressing your concern and first let us reassure you we do want to hear from our fans. However, our message function is off because we are trying to encourage our fans to contact us either by phone or through our email platform. It just makes it easier for us to monitor and respond in a more timely manner as we have had complaints of our staff not responding fast enough and sometimes we don’t receive messages our fans send us on Facebook. We pray you understand. Remain blessed of the Lord Jesus always! – Blessed Magazine

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Larry Edmund Bias -- Because of the written word God can very well end all of this if he want to but if He did it would make him a liar God is good and he doesn't change anything he started

(KJV) I choose blessings, love and JOY.., over deceit, lies, and Hell!!

Melisia Williams -- because he used Satan as temptation to see where we are in our walk with him and when the devil temp us what we would do. If we would turn to him or let the devil defeat us in process of our unbelief, but he will get rid of Satan when he comes again

Pauline Brown -- That day will come for now we have to live in a sinful world

Frances Estelle Herndon -Amen, Satan will have his last turn to try and deceive you and me before the Lord returns.., No one knows theses important times., but we do know it will happen just as it's wrote in the bible

Linda Rivera -Prophecy and God will always have the last word...

Brenda Kennard -- So the progeny can be for filled

Joslyn Richardson -- we were given free will...so you can choose god or satan....you can choose to do right or wrong..

Joyce Sheppard -- His word still stands

Lorece Johnson -- Even if Satan were thrown into the pit tomorrow, we would still have evil in the world due to the fall of man into sin (Genesis 3). Romans 3:10-12 says we are born in sin; we stumble and fall, and evil is a constant testimony to that falleness Satan rules in the hearts of regenerated people and blinds their minds. Satan has been judged at the cross, and the Holy Spirit would convince people of the judgment to come.

Please note: the views and expressions expressed are not necessarily the views of Blessed Magazine or its affiliates

Blessed Magazine February/March, 2016 51

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Personal Wellness

3 Reasons Why You Should Keep a Prayer Journal By Christin Slade

â&#x20AC;&#x2022;I remember shortly after I gave my life over to Jesus, I began journaling my prayers. I was just a teenager when I began this practice. I still have the journals today, many of them highlighted as answeredâ&#x20AC;&#x2013; Blessed Magazine February/March, 2016 53

Personal Wellness So, why did I start this? I'm not sure I would have been able to give a full answer at the time, but today, especially in a very busy season of motherhood, there are several very beneficial reasons why I continue to journal my prayers.

Benefits to Keeping a Prayer Journal Focus Writing my prayers down helps me tremendously with focus. As a mother who is a production-driven, multi-tasker, this is truly a wonderful way for me to remain focused during my prayer time. I'm not thinking about what to make for dinner, how much laundry there is, or how I'm going to fit it all in today. Writing helps me focus and it also helps me organize my thoughts better.

It's much more difficult for my mind to stray when I'm in the act of writing down my thoughts to God.

Relationship Did you ever keep a diary when you were a child or teenager. You know, you would actually write, "Dear Diary..." or "Dear Journal...", as if it had the ability to answer you back? I did...from about 10-12 years of age. Ok, maybe I was 15. But how crazy was I to write to "Diary"...essentially, emptiness. I mean, I was writing to nothingness! When I journal my prayers, I'm literally writing to God. You know, He actually exists and knows what I write to Him, and knows my heart behind what I write to Him. What's more, is He even answers me. Maybe this all seems elementary, but the next benefit pulls it together and helps to put some things into perspective

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Testimony A prayer journal is so much more than a journal that holds prayers. Even if it did stand alone as that, it would be a pretty magnificent testimony. If you continue to thumb back through your prayer journals on a regular basis, you will be amazed at how God has worked in your life and life of those you prayed for.

I remember going through some old Bible studies about five years ago, and thumbing through one that had a section where you could write out a prayer after you finished the week's study material. Well, I came across I prayer I wrote on June 14, 2001. The prayer read, "Lord, please use my body this day to bear a child for your kingdom~this I pray in Jesus‘ name. ~Amen~― My husband and I had decided to start our family, and so I had prayed God would make it so. Little did I know...until I found that prayer just how precisely He would answer it. But friends, let me tell you this. On June 14, 2002, I gave birth to my first child. One year to the DAY I wrote those words, I literally bore that child into the world! When I prayed ―this day‖, I wasn‘t thinking God would literally use ―that day‖, June 14, to specifically answer my prayer; that I would literally bear a child. Actually, I was thinking more along the lines of getting pregnant that day.

Leave a Legacy A prayer journal becomes a legacy. It becomes a written testimony of God's work in your life. And this incident reminded me how often I forget. I don't want to forget. And I want those coming up behind me to see God's hand at work through these written testimonies.

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Personal Wellness

25 Ways to Organize Your Life By Nancy Mann Jackson

Blessed Magazine February/March, 2016 57

Personal Wellness Do you spend way too much time looking for your checkbook or car keys? Do you live among piles of papers, books, CDs and clothing? Do you have a hard time remembering appointments? If your answer is yes, getting organized may seem like an impossible task. But having an organized life simply means you know how to function most efficiently according to your own style, which isn't as difficult as it may sound. "Organizing is a skill, and anyone can learn it," says professional organizer Allison Yeager. "The problem is finding your specific organizational style. What works for me may take someone else two hours to understand." Before getting started, remember that changing your behavior takes time. "Don't overwhelm yourself by trying to tackle an entire house in one weekend," Yeager said. "Take time to plan and think about what the problem is. Visualize what you want it to look like."

How to Organize Your Home! 1. Find A Place For Everything. Start small, maybe with one junk drawer, but find a place for everything you have. "Have a specific place that you put your keys or the mail or your child's backpack," says Judy Barnette, a professional organizer in Franklin, Tenn. "People waste so much time looking for lost or misplaced items.â&#x20AC;&#x2022; 2. Eliminate Clutter. Open the mail over the garbage and throw out junk mail right then. Evaluate whether to keep receiving magazines you never have time to read, or consider rotating subscriptions. Gather frequently used papers such as phone lists and take-out menus in a three-ring binder. 3. Simplify The Morning Rush. Each evening, decide what you'll wear the next day, and press it if needed. Also gather anything you'll need to take with you in the morning, and put it in a spot near the door.

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4. Do Wardrobe Maintenance. Go through your closet at least twice each year, and take out anything you haven't worn in the past year or no longer need. Donate your surplus to a local shelter or to your church's clothing closet. 5. Institute A Paper Routine. "If you do have to stack up the mail, have a set time each week when you will sit down and go through it," Barnette says. Designate a specific spot for bills, and pay them consistently by tracking the due dates on your calendar. 6. Use Technology. Consider scanning papers you want to keepâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;including everything from household records to old college papersâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;and keep them on a disk. Then you can shred and toss out the papers.

Personal Wellness How To Organize Your Work Space! 7. Tame Your Desk. Keep only supplies you need daily on your desktop. Gain more desk space by mounting your keyboard underneath and raising your computer monitor with a monitor arm. 8. Control Your Messages. Think before giving your email address or cell phone number to everyone; incoming information may be easier to manage if it all goes through one form of communication. 9. Supercharge Your Communication. Jot down an agenda before making a phone call, so you don't forget important points. And be clear about the response you need when sending a message to a colleagueâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;they can then provide a full response, even if they don't reach you directly. 10. Maintain Responsibility For Your Projects. Keep a written record of what you've delegated, and follow up so nothing falls through the cracks. 11. Conquer Your Filing. Create a filing system for your electronic documents that mirrors the one you have for paper. Sort, file and purge electronic information regularly. Also, keep a file index and always check the index before creating a new file, so you avoid making duplicates.

How To Organize Your Meals! 12. Plan Ahead For Meals. Plan dinner menus each weekend for the following week, and use a slow cooker or other time-saving cooking techniques as often as possible. 13. Maintain A Shopping List. Keep your grocery list on the refrigerator or another visible spot so that you'll write down needed items as you remember them. Consider using one of many smart phone apps available to create and maintain lists. Then shop every other week to avoid running to the store every time you need an item.

14. Organize Your Kitchen. Use clear containers for pasta, cereal, and similar items, so you can quickly see the quantity you have. Group items together according to how you use them, says Kathy Firkins, a professional organizer in Midland, Texas. For instance, keep all baking ingredients together. 15. Keep A Stocked Pantry. Even if you don't have an actual pantry in your home, adhere to the pantry concept of stocking up on necessities. "A beginner's pantry focuses on convenience and contains backup products for each storable item used in the home," says Cynthia Townley Ewer,

Blessed Magazine February/March, 2016 59

Personal Wellness editor of OrganizedHome.com. "A good first goal is a three-day supply of food and hygiene supplies adequate to support your household plus one additional person.― 16. Clean As You Go. Rather than keeping a sink full of dirty dishes, make a habit of washing each dish (or putting each dish in the dishwasher) when done with it.

How To Organize Your Time! 17. Overestimate. Allocate twice as much time for a task as you think it will take. This accommodates for interruptions and stopping to get more information. 18. Make Projects Manageable. Break large projects into small, sequential steps. Schedule these steps into your day with your planner.

20. Keep Small Projects With You. "Keep things in your car that you need to read," Burnette says. "Read them at the doctor's office; read them in line at the post office. If you view this as a time to catch up, you won't mind when you have to wait.―

19. Keep Lists. "Most people have a hard time remembering things," Burnette says. "Keep a pad of paper by your bed, in your car, in your desk—and when you think of something, write it down.―

21. Use A Planner. Whether it's a paper notebook, a computer software program, or a handheld electronic device, use a planner to track appointments and tasks, and keep track of your time.

How to Organize Your Relationships! 22. Keep Track Of Important Dates. From friends' birthdays to dinner dates, keep social appointments in your planner, online calendar or smart phone, and train yourself to rely on it. 23. Wear A Watch (Or Keep Your Phone Close By). Keep track of time, and allow yourself enough time to arrive early for every appointment, whether it's a movie with a friend or lunch with your mother. Being late shows a lack of respect for the other person. 24. Schedule Friend Appointments. If it seems like you're too busy to spend quality time with friends, ask them to plan ahead of time for lunch, a hiking trip or another get-together

Track these appointments just as you would an important business appointment, and make a point to keep them. 25. Make Use Of Technology. If finding time to stay in touch with friends seems difficult, try catching up on the phone while you're grocery shopping or waiting in line at the post office. Make time to Skype or video chat with friends and family who live away.

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Travel

Want to Vacation for Almost Nothing?

Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2DC;ll Show You How I have a confession to make, we just returned from a 10 day trip to beautiful Ireland... and it cost us almost NOTHING to go. For years our stance was that 'no credit card is a good credit card', but oh boy was I wrong! Here's how we went to Ireland nearly free.. and how you can do the same . . Blessed Magazine February/March, 2016 63

Travel First and foremost, the most important part of this entire scenario is that you MUST not amass credit card debt or you'll defeat the entire point.

Did you know? Most credit cards offer points or rewards for using their cards, each card has it's own benefits. The rewards for some cards are better than others. For example, my favorite card is American Express Hilton Honors. It amasses Hilton Honors points whenever you use it, allowing you to use those points to "pay" for overnight stays in Hilton chains. It's not limited to Hilton hotels, it also offers stays at Doubletree, Embassy Suites, Hilton Garden Inn, Conrad, Hampton, Home2 Suites, Curio, Homewood Suites, and Waldorf Astoria Every month, we use our credit cards very selectively and deliberately to earn certain rewards just by paying our regular monthly bills (Mortgage, car payment, insurance, medical bills, utilities, phones, etc). Rather than paying those regular monthly expenses with checks or debit card, we use carefully chosen credit cards, than immediately pay the credit card bill in full. As we pay our regular monthly expenses the points for each of the cards begin to build up. This is how we purchased our airline tickets and also how we were able to stay 10 nights at Hilton locations in Dublin, Ireland at NO out of pocket expense whatsoever. I love the Hilton chains because as Gold, Silver or Diamond member you receive additional benefits during your stay such as free wifi, free breakfast and in some locations, even free dinner and drinks. While vacationing we prefer to enjoy a leisurely pace, having breakfast late at around 9-ish. The breakfast is a full spread of eggs cooked several different ways, sausages, bacon, toast, bagels, fresh fruit, yogurt and so much more. More than enough

to fill oneself up until about 3-ish in the mid afternoon, especially if you grab a piece of fruit for a later snack. Of course, this doesn't mean you can't enjoy the local treats at various street vendors offer as a midday snack.

Photo Credit: Shutterstock

At this point in the game, it's still a great time to cash in on lunch deals at the local eateries, but late enough in the day so you won't be hungry for another large meal after having a nice lunch. Later in the evening, it's drinks and h'ourderves (again, for free through the hotel chain as a Diamond member). Before choosing your cards, it may help to have an idea of where you'd like to vacation first. You'll want to research the airlines or potential travel expenses of getting there so you know exactly how many points you'll need to earn to achieve your goal vacation. Keep in mind some companies actually have their own cards, for example Carnival Cruise Lines has a card offered through Barclay. We've used this one in the past to go on cruises for free. (This might be more expensive if you happen to live in the Midwest and have to fly to get to a port, so choose carefully.)

Photo Credit: Shutterstock

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Travel There are a number of things you can do for little to nothing once you arrive at your destination of choice such as visiting various parks, geocaching, art galleries, live music performances, street performers in cities, etc. Your best bet is to google "free things to do in ________" a few weeks prior to leaving for your trip. You can also google "______ Calendar of Events" (simply insert your destination name in the blanks!).

Photo Credit: Shutterstock

When you arrive at your destination, talk with the locals, interact with them as much as possible, ask them where they'd go with their friends and family, etc. On this particular trip we gleaned fantastic advice about how to get unlimited use of the Bus service for about $25 per person, rather than $2.65 PER Bus, Per Person, per trip (a substantial savings of roughly $250 over the course of 10 days.)

Tips: Be aware that some cards points/rewards can expire. Pay close attention to the expiration date so that you don't lose points that you've worked to earn. It's best to find non-expiring points programs. Pay attention to Bonus Points- oftentimes (particularly with frequent flier miles cards) you will find bonus point codes in the freebies forum, which can then be applied to your account.

Happy Traveling!!! Blessed Magazine February/March, 2016 65

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Church

Segregation In Our Churches Is God Pleased With Us?

Church “It is appalling that the most segregated hour in Christian America is 11 o'clock on Sunday morning” --Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. One of my most enduring childhood memories is of growing up on Effingham Street in Portsmouth, Va. There were two churches on our block—one black, the other white. On Sunday mornings, I can remember watching people gather at the church across the street, and wondering why we never went to that church or why they never came to ours. When I asked my grandmother about it, she quickly put an end to my childhood curiosity by saying:

Photo Credit: Shutterstock

Our Church is Better… I remember thinking, if it's better why aren't those people coming over here? It didn't make sense to me then, and still doesn't. I would be told "Ours is better" each time I questioned why blacks and whites never mingled together in public places or at public events in that southern town. Whites had their space and we had ours. This was the mid-fifties. It wasn't until much later in life that I learned first hand the real truth about racial segregation in America. In spite of its multiracial makeup, America is still in bondage to a spirit of segregation that pervades much of society, even our churches. Although, it's been 50 years since Dr. King addressed the issue of racial segregation in the Christian church, not much has changed. On any given Sunday, it is still possible to open the doors of most Christian churches in America and find a homogeneous congregation of people worshiping God, and not see a single member of another race. According to Chris Rice, coauthor of More Than Equals: Racial Healing for the Sake of the Gospel, most Christians never give it much thought. Segregated pews are viewed as the norm. There are a few multiracial and multicultural churches; however, they account for only 5-7 percent of Christian congregations. News flash— there won't be a separate heaven for all those who want to only be with their own kind. It's in the bible:

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Photo Credit: Shutterstock

Church ―Ninety percent of African-American Christians worship in all-black churches. Ninety percent of white American Christians worship in all-white churches...Years since the incredible victories of the Civil Rights movement, we continue to live in the trajectory of racial fragmentation. The biggest problem is that we don't see that as a problem.‖

It seems clear from this that God intends for his followers to live together in eternity as one big happy family. So then, why aren't we doing more to become one body in Christ here on earth? By the numbers, Christian congregations continue to lag behind the rest of society when it comes to eliminating self-imposed racial segregation. Christian theologians and church leaders have differing opinions on what can be done to ameliorate the situation. Most admit there's a lack of diversity in the churches, but make excuses like "People prefer to go to church with people who look like them" or "People choose churches where they feel comfortable." Sadly, there is also a misguided remnant who have racist tendencies, and don't want to see people from other races in their congregations [We need to pray for them]. Regardless, of the reason, no excuse is valid in the eyes of God who expects Christians to love each other and everybody else. After this I looked, and there was an enormous crowd—no one could count all the people! They were from every race, tribe, nation, and language, and they stood in front of the throne and of the Lamb, dressed in white robes and holding palm branches in their hands. They called out in a loud voice: 'Salvation comes from our God, who sits on the throne, and from the Lamb!' (Revelation 7:8-9) So then, how do we start to transform Sundays at 11 o'clock from the most segregated hour to the most racially diverse and inclusive hour in Christian America? Perhaps, the answer lies in one changed heart, one friendly handshake across the aisle, one conversation that ends with an invite—until we get the job done. That means every believer will have to do his part to bring about a change. Change is difficult, but change we must.

Photo Credit: Shutterstock

You remember the story I shared earlier about the two Christian churches on my block that never intermingled with each other? Well, the black church is still there and has continued to grow having maintained a presence in that community for some 50-plus years now. Unfortunately, the white church across the street decided to close its doors and move away after other black families moved into the neighborhood. So I guess my grandmother was right. Our church really was the better one.

Article by Carolyn K. Erwin Article by Carolyn K. Erwin Carolyn K. Erwin is a poet and essayist who writes convincingly about everyday experiences from a Christian point of view. Her blog, The Gospel to Go: Fast Food for the Hungry Soul, is a thoughtprovoking and entertaining exploration of the daily challenges and triumphs of the human spirit. Blessed Magazine February/March, 2016 69

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