BOUNDARIES

I’ve been around the block with self-help books, and there is often a chapter in those books around boundaries. In fact, in the BodyMind Coaching program we have a section that focuses on boundaries as well. So, I think it’s clear that in this holistic, bodymind-aware community, we know boundaries are important. As a way into this issue on navigating boundaries, I’d like to invite you, amazing reader, to think about expectations versus boundaries. Let me share what I mean in a little story. In my neighborhood, there are two dogs down the street that have electronic collars for their invisible fence. Every day, they run out of the house to greet us on our walk, only to be shocked at the edge of their yard. They have a very real boundary of where they can and cannot go. As a dog lover, and as someone who However, setting and establishing boundaries is super hard. dear reader, ................................................................................... values spaciousness and freedom, I initially thought, “Oh no, those poor dogs! They can’t be free. They are trapped!” This same thought pattern often takes place when it comes to the difficulty we feel around setting boundaries for ourselves. Sometimes, like the dogs, when I think about boundaries, I feel like I’m trapping myself in, I’m containing myself in some way. In the short term, setting this boundary may be painful, like the quick jolt the dogs feel when they test their boundary that aims to keep them safe and out of the busy street. But, what happens is when I don’t set boundaries, I’m beholden to other people’s expectations of me, and that is what actually traps me. When I let other people’s expectations of me dictate my choices, muddy my intuitive knowing, and quiet the inner “yes” and “no” I feel in my body, that’s when feelings of frustration and anger show up. In contrast, creating healthy boundaries allows me to fully