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New Year's Eve Round-Up By Rick Karlin
Impress with your best black & white attire as Halsted’s, Back Lot Bash, and The L Stop celebrate NYE with the “Black & White Party” with DJs Kirby, Kristin and Deseree Fawn as guest bartenders Lauren Badonski & Greer Procich pour drinks throughout the night! VIP tickets are $45 (7-9 p.m.) and include a premium drink package. General admission tickets are $35 and include a cash bar. Both feature hors d’oeuvres, a toast at midnight, breakfast buffet after midnight and black and white party favors.
The sooner you buy your tickets to Progress Bar’s party, the more you save. Tickets are $25 until Dec. 28, then $30 until 7 p.m. on NYE, when they increase to $35. Tickets include a hosted bar from 9-11 p.m., tickets for the Absolut ice luge and a mix tape by resident DJ Jesse Hoz for the first 100 ticket buyers. Buy your tix online at www.eventbrite.com, (Chgo. location.)
At Hamburger Mary’s the NYE “Freak Show” party will be as raucous as you want it to be, or not. Upstairs in Mary's Attic DJ Redtronik will be spinning retro and current hits, while downstairs in Touche’ will leave you "Black & Blue", Andersonville Brewing it will be lowas you enjoy a buffet, games, prizes, key, with room to mingle with friends party favors and a midnight toast. All and enjoy the appetizer buffet. At to tunes spun by DJ Freddie Bain. The midnight there’ll be a toast and balloon next day they're hosting a "Hung Over drop with cash prizes! Tickets are $15 in and Horny" beer bust, opening at noon advance and are available on the web at and offering a free continental breakfast www.hamburgermaryschicago.com. (which I think at Touche means a bottle of poppers and a piece of toast.) Sidetrack looks forward to “Bright Lights -Bright Future” with a party Hydrate’s black, white and red-themed benefiting Equality Illinois. The $25 “Sin City” party starts with an opening ticket includes a midnight toast and set by DJ NMF, followed by L.A.’s DJ door prizes courtesy of Ketel One. Dan De Le. Go-go dancers will be at Tickets are available on their site at hand providing sinful visual stimulation www.sidetrackchicago.com or get 'em within a totally immersive black, white at www.equalityillinois.us. and red experience. There’s no cover before 11 p.m. A limited number of $35 Smart Bar’s “The Mirror Ball” will VIP tickets are available, which allow feature Justin Long, Michael Serafini, you to bypass lines and step out for a Jeff Derringer, Olin, Harry and Jpeg and smoke (or whatever) You can get them Sissy Spastik as hostess. Tix are $35 in at www.hydratechicago.com. advance, $40 night of. Reserved seats are $80, and VIP tables (seats 4, so does Want the opportunity to make a little Sissy Spastik, I hear) are $400 and $750 cash on NYE? Then head over to Circuit (seats 6.) If you’re low on cash it’s only where, in addition to a midnight toast, $20 after 1 a.m. with a Facebook RSVP go-go boys and party favors (don’t or valid student ID. Check out all your confuse the two!), They’re also doing a options at www.smartbarchicago.com. cash-filled balloon drop and setting off Phoenix celebrates with "Fire and Ice" confetti canons filled with green-bucks. and things promise to be hot... and cool. It’s $15 in advance, $25 at the door There's going to be food, a $500 balloon (discounts for members). Purchase tickets drop, midnight toast and it's only $25 at at the club or, go to www.circuit.club. the door.
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New Year's Eve Round-Up . . . CONTINUED
Little Jim's goes old school. No cover and a toast at midnight! Kit Kat Lounge has a bar package that includes martinis, cocktails, wine and beer for only $45 in advance $50 at the door. See our "Big Bite" column for their dining options. “Let It Go!” at Roscoe's in a party inspired by the Disney movie, “Frozen”. There will be hors d’oeuvres and Absolute ice bar, and Aurora Sexton as Elsa. Your ticket gets you five premium cocktails and a midnight toast. At The Call the only cover required is that you wear something red for the bar’s “Paint the Night Red!!” party. Doors open at 8 p.m. and the evening will feature a video countdown, performances and hats, noise makers and a champagne toast at midnight. Lesbifriends Cartel is taking over D.S. Tequila. There are two ticket options. The "All In" plan is a $55 food and drink package from 8 p.m. to midnight that includes hosted bar, gourmet taco bar, apps, party favors and a midnight toast. The "Backup" plan is $30 general admission to main room (and the patio after midnight) and includes two drinks. At Minibar $180 gets you table service and premium drinks from 8 p.m. 'till midnight, for six, a choice of cheese or chocolate fondue for the table (cheese or chocolate). It’s $20 for general admission, which includes entry and two premium cocktails, if purchased in advance. At Lucky Horseshoe boy meats whirl as usual on NYE. They’ll be passing out party favors (not the boys, sorry) and a toast at midnight. No cover (at the door or on the boys!)
Crew gives back with a night of fun, including a hosted bar from 9 p.m. to closing, appetizers from its new menu, and a toast at midnight for $80 per person, half of which goes to TPAN. It's a ticket only event so advanced reservations are required. Get your tix at the bar or at www.tpan.com. SOFO Tap is offering drink specials and, no cover charge! Club Krave rings in NYE Bette Midler style, with all the glitz and titz you’d expect. It’s all about the glamour. They’re giving away Bette Midler concert tickets, as part of the fun. Your ticket gets you fireworks, a buffet and a ball drop outside at midnight. (That should be interesting because as cold as it usually is on NYE, most balls go up.) It’s only $10 in advance or $15 at the door. @mosphere is offering up stripper bingo. (Who needs bingo as an excuse to see the strippers?) At Metro Chicago, openly gay punk icon, Bob rings in 2015 with his rejuvenated power-pop. As if that weren’t enough, special guest Margaret Cho opens the show. Tickets are $51 in advance, $61 at the door, available at www.metrochicago.com. If you planned on spending NYE at Whiskey Trust or Manhole, you might want make other plans. As of our deadline, both have closed. LKH Management (which also runs Hydrate, Replay, Elixir, Halsted’s) took over management of the clubs in August, recently the owner instructed LKH Management to shutter the bars until they get re-organized. Stand by as the current situation on Halsted & Belmont further develop. boiMAG
Why drop a ball? By Rick Karlin
on new years eve
The Times Square midnight ball drop on New Year’s Eve is so iconic that it is imitated around the world, with local versions dropping everything from a wheel of cheese to Key West’s famous dropping of a drag queen named Sushi in a high heel. But how did the custom originate? Before there were time zones, most American cities kept their own time, based on the sun. However, sailing ships needed to know the exact time in order to navigate knowing their precise longitude. They usually relied on a marine chronometer, which looked like an over-sized pocket watch encased in a devise similar to a gyroscope. The device needed to be recalibrated often, which meant going ashore.
Adolph Ochs, the publisher of the New York Times convinced the city to rename the intersection of Broadway, 42nd St. and In 1818 the Royal Navy began using a visual 7th Ave. Times Square after the newspaper. In 1904, in an attempt to draw people signal in Portsmouth, England so that the mechanism could be reset on the ship. The away from the traditional New Year’s Eve gathering space, Wall St. Ochs announced signal used two balls set on a flagpole at a New Year’s Eve party and promised the shore, one fixed in place, the second fireworks at midnight. His scheme worked mobile. Just before noon, the second ball and within three years, Times Square was raised and aligned with the stationary became the place to gather at midnight. ball. At that point the sea captains, viewing The news coverage became great publicity through a telescope, would not be able to for his newspaper. see any light between the balls. The second ball was dropped at precisely noon and In 1907 Ochs couldn’t get a permit for the sailing ships would set their chronometers fireworks. Instead, he installed a sevenhundred-pound sphere of iron and wood, against the official time. Other port covered with 100 light bulbs, and had it cities soon adopted the practice. By the lowered from the flagpole at midnight. late 1800s technological advancements The tradition has continued since then eliminated the need for re-calibration except for 1942 and ’43 during wartime of chronometers. The time balls had blackouts. Originally the ball was lowered developed a following. In port cities, many using a system of ropes and pulleys and shopkeepers and businesses set their clocks timed to a stop watch. In 1995 computers to the ball drop. Western Union installed a and mechanical devises were instituted. time ball at its New York City headquarters Now it is controlled by a computer system in on Broadway in 1877, a time when the calibrated to the atomic clock in Colorado ball was still dropped at noon. used as the official time standard for the United States. 10 boiMAG
Bar None
BAR AND CLUB aLTERNATIVES ON NEW YEAR'S EVE By Rick Karlin
If the bars and clubs aren’t your scene, a number of entertainment and dining venues provide an alternative to the bars and clubs. Jack's on Halsted will "Ring in the New Year with Style" with a $70 prix fixe four-course dinner. Reservation times are at 5, 7 and 9 p.m. The later show also features feature jazz vocalist Tammy McCann. Call at 773.244.9191 or book online at www.opentable.com. Stage 773 holds its third annual New Year’s Eve Monster’s Ball from 9 p.m.1 a.m. Dress in your most horrific, startling attire and ring in 2015 with other ghosts and ghouls. The $70 per person/$120 per couple event will feature unlimited specialty drinks, appetizers, live music, a haunted house and midnight toast. Call 773.327.5252 or go to www.stage773.com. Man's Country is taking reservations for rooms on New Year's Eve. Don't be left wandering the halls, like Marley's ghost after midnight. Stop by and make your reservations now. “With Love from the Black Ensemble Theater” will include performances by the stars of Black Ensemble Theater, food, free-flowing champagne flowing and dancing. Tickets are $125 for singles, $200 for couples. Call 773.769.4451 for reservations and more information.
Annoyance Theater’s legendary "CoEd Prison Sluts" is back for one night only. Tickets for the party package are $40 in advance, $50 at the door. It all starts at 10 p.m. 773.697.9693 or go to www.theannoyance.com. Gesher invites you to sit by a cozy fire place and schmooze with queer Jews. Bring your favorite finger food or BYOB. Go to the Gesher Facebook for more information! The pH Comedy Theater has deemed 2014 the Year of the Selfie, and is more than happy to usher it out the door with an open bar, light appetizers and snacks, an improv comedy show, dancing, midnight toast, raffle and even a caricature! It’s $50, $60 at the door. Get your tix on their website at www.whatisph.com. JC Brooks And The Uptown Sound perform at Emporium Arcade. It's $25 for early-bird tix $30 at the door. For more info. go to www. jcbrooksandtheuptownsound.com. “The Drop” at Portage Theater is an 18+ party featuring back an array of local bands, DJs and artists including The Coop, Indigo Sun and Woo Park. For more information, go to www. theportage.com. "Strike in the New Year: at Lincoln Square Lanes. The $55 advance ticket ($60 at door) includes bowling, drinks and a buffet. Go to their website at www.lincolnsquarelanes.net for more information. boiMAG 13
Motor Mouth Friends in the Community By Parker Carr Research has shown that the majority of the GLBT community prefer to spend their money with companies that have progressive policies towards GLBT employees. The problem is, when it comes to automakers, that information hasn’t been easy to find — until now.
Gaywheels.com has done the footwork and offers a list of automakers that have policies that prohibit workplace discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation. If it’s important to you to support companies that treat their GLBT employees equally, these companies can be considered “gay-friendly”. According to Gaywheels.com, the Korea-based Hyundai and Kia do not have policies in place protecting GLBT employees. The report does not include Ferrari, Lamborghini, Lotus or Maserati, as they were not able to get answers to their survey. Policies which protect GLBT employees are especially important when a company relocates to an area which does not have equal protection laws, as recently happened when Toyota decided to consolidate and relocate its U.S. manufacturing to Plano, Texas. At that time Plano was considering a GLBT-rights ordinance. The state’s Attorney General, among others, urged the mayor of Plano to delay voting on the bill in a letter that stated, “We do not believe there has been adequate time for the public and community leaders to be a part of the discussion of such a major, wide sweeping change in law and policy for Plano. As husbands and wives with children, we have concerns that your sexual orientation and transgender ordinance may place
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women and children at risk and does not consider the moral or religious beliefs of Plano citizens or vendors who do business with the city.” In May, Toyota sent Gaywheels. com the following statement: “We have assured our LGBT team members and associates who may move to Plano from Kentucky, California, and New York, that eligibility for Toyota partner health and welfare benefits will remain the same.”
(Photo by Nick D’Amico and Dana Slifer)
In related news, Subaru commissioned designer Mondo Guerra to create a custom designed 2015 Subaru Legacy for World Aids Day. Guerra, an HIV-positive designer and reality TV celebrity, is an activist for HIV/AIDS-related causes. Subaru asked him to design the vehicle as part of its “Love Responsibly” campaign, which marks Subaru’s 20 years of support for HIV/AIDS services and activism. Guerra’s Legacy debuted at the opening festivities for Art Basel Miami. According to Subaru spokesman Tim Tagye, the “Love Responsibly” "... encourages people, including Subaru retailers, to volunteer their time or other resources locally, and to encourage discussion within all communities about what more can be done to help in the fight against AIDS.”
Acura Aston Martin Audi Bentley BMW Buick Cadillac Chevrolet Chrysler Dodge Fiat Ford GMC Honda Infiniti Jaguar Jeep Land Rover Lexus Lincoln Mazda Mercedes-Benz Mini-Cooper Mitsubishi Nissan Porsche Ram Rolls-Royce Scion Smart SRT Subaru Tesla Toyota Volkswagen Volvo
Rick’s
New Year's Eve This New Year’s Eve, there’s something for every dining budget. You can blow the budget on a spurge meal or stay home and order in (Philly’s Best is delivering on New Year’s Eve and Day.) Here’s a rundown of some other dining options available, should you decide to venture out. Of course, reservations are suggested. Jack’s on Halsted (3201 N, Halsted, 773.244.9191) features a $70 prix fixe four-course dinner, with performances by jazz vocalist Tammy McCann. Reservation times are at 5, 7 and 9 p.m. Kit Kat Lounge and Supper Club (3700 N. Halsted. 773.275.1111) goes all “Glitz and Glam” with diva Kinley Preston performing. There are two seating for the four-course prix fixe menu. The 7 p.m. seating is $65 a person, the 10 p.m. seating is $85. Both include two martinis, a bubbly toast and party favors. Quince (1625 Hinman, Evanston, 847.570.5400) offers a four-course menu for $75-$85 featuring black truffle salad, scallop with caviar, venison, and chocolate beet cake. A vegetarian menu is also available. Revolucion (3443 N. Broadway, 773.661.9893) rings in 2015 with a $55 three-course, prix-fixe meal and boozeinspired desserts at midnight. North Pond (2610 N. Cannon Dr. 773.477.5845) serves up an indulgent seven-course tasting menu for $120; $60 more for wine pairings.
Spritz Burger (3819 N. Broadway, 773.868.9866) goes luxe, $65-$100, with lobster and champagne for its inaugural New Year’s Eve pop-up dinner party. The Ogden (1659 W. Ogden, 312.226.1888) serves up hors d’oeuvres and a full dinner buffet featuring prime rib and smoked salmon for $40-$70. Avec (615 W. Randolph, 312.377.2002) has a five-course menu for $65 per person, plus service charge. Bar Pastoral (2945 N. Broadway, 773.472.4781) offers two seating with options. The Michelin Guiderecommended cheese and wine bistro, New Year’s prix fixe menu is $55 at 7 p.m. and $75 at 9:30 p.m. An optional wine pairing for $35 is available at both seatings. MAK (1924 W. Division, 773.772.6251) offers all alcohol drinks at half-price with any MAK bowl order at lunch or dinner. Tru (676 N. St. Clair, 312.202.0001) allows diners to choose from two celebratory options: a six-course meal at 5 p.m. for $165, or an eightcourse meal at 8:30 p.m. for $275. This is quite a steal compared to Tru’s regular menu prices. Osteria Via Stato (620 N. State, 312.642.8450) has a $75 four-course meal that includes a celebratory glass of lemoncello or chocolacello. Its sister restaurant, Pizzeria Via Stato, has a $50 four-course meal including a selection of pizzas with Prosecco pairings. boiMAG 19
FIT TIPS
The Gift of Fitness
By Michael Elder
As the year draws to a close, I am preparing myself for the inevitable, a super busy gym! That’s right, the time is almost here when new years’ resolutions will abound, causing a mad rush of new faces to infiltrate most gyms around the country. Since many people will be re- focusing on their health and well- being, fitness gifts are a great option for the holiday season. In the last article, I shared two of my favorite fitness gift items with you and now I would like to share two more. If you are looking to give the gift of fitness this year, pay close attention. These two fitness items are perfect for the beginner or people looking for general fitness with the ease of convenience.
the most important aspects of physical wellness. I use the Stability Ball all the time when training my clients, and they can all personally speak of its benefit.
Adjustable Dumbbells are one of my favorite fitness items to have come out in recent years. With the pull of a knob, you can instantly change the amount of weight on these dumbbells. They are a great tool for effectively training the entire body. They make a particularly good gift for people who want to work out at home and not go to a gym. They also take up very little space. Adjustable dumbbells can be a little more expensive, but the payoff and convenience is definitely worth it. Of course, it is highly important to learn proper technique using dumbbells of any kind. For that reason, I strongly suggest that you get proper instruction before attempting to use these dumbbells. But nevertheless, they make a great gift!
I hope these ideas help you out. Nothing is more important than our physical health The Stability Ball is always a great gift and well- being. So why not gift the gift item. This handy tool is once again highly of fitness this holiday season? There’s no portable and easy to inflate/deflate. A great better time than the present to get fit! many exercises can be performed using Michael Elder has been working as a fitness the Stability Ball such as Squats, Leg Curls, professional in Chicago for the last fifteen Crunches, Push- Ups, Bridges, and many years. He comes from a background in more. A great benefit of the Stability Ball gymnastics and is certified as a personal is that it challenges a person’s balance, trainer through the American Council on thereby constantly engaging the core. As Exercise (ACE). He can be reached directly I have said before, core strength is one of through his website: www.MichaelElder.com.
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iMUSIC
Men We Love By Gregg Shapiro Welcome back, Erasure! We sure have missed you. Following the dismal and disappointing Tomorrow’s World, an unfortunate production collaboration with the tired Frankmusik, Andy Bell and Vince Clarke have come back burning hotter and brighter than they have in years on the vivid The Violent Flame. After almost 30 years, openly gay vocalist Bell and synthpop legend Clarke (also of Depeche Mode and Yaz fame) sound audibly reenergized. Teaming up with bootleg pioneer/producer Richard X, Erasure has created an album that is as timeless as it is thoroughly modern. The first four tracks - “Dead of Night,” “Elevation,” “Reasons” and “Promises” - refresh Erasure’s electronic dance legacy and contributions to the genre. All three of these songs deserve to be hits, in clubs and elsewhere. “Be The One” is the kind of dramatic ballad Erasure does so well and Bell sounds strong and in command of his instrument. The nice thing about The Violet Flame is that it never flickers, maintaining its heat recalling both vintage Erasure and the very best of Yaz. Kele (Okereke), the openly gay frontman of Bloc Party, has returned with his second solo studio album Trick. Maintaining the electronic flair he began to explore with Bloc Party and continued to embrace on his 2010 solo debut, Kele remains plugged in on Trick. In other words, you can dance if you want to. And who wouldn’t want to dance to pleasingly beat-driven cuts including “Humour Me,” “First Impressions,” “Doubt,” “ My Hotel Room” and “Silver and Gold.”
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Encyclopedia, the second album by electronic dance duo The Drums, featuring gay member Jonny Pierce combines ‘80s influences (think Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark or New Order-ish) with a present-day sensibility. Opener “Magic Mountain” comes across as more jarring than what we’ve heard from The Drums before, with vocals that sound like a tribute to Perry Farrell. You can work up a sweat to breakneck numbers such as “Kiss Me Again,” “Let Me” and “Deep In My Heart,” while slower paced tunes such as “I Can’t Pretend” (can you hear OMD, too?), “I Hope Time Doesn’t Change Him” and “Wild Geese” allow you to catch your breath. On his luminous and diverse third album Too Bright, Perfume Genius aka Mike Hadreas has released his most radiant album to date. Maintaining some of the sonic elegance of 2012’s Put Your Back N 2 It on songs such as “No Good,” “Don’t Let Them In,” “All Along” and the title tune, Perfume Genius demonstrates that he is fearless when it comes to exploring new and daring territory. The modern glam of “Queen,” with the fragrant lines “No family is safe/When I sashay,” is one such as example. Others include the multi-layered “Fool,” the intense experimentation of “My Body” and the Suicide meets Nine Inch Nails of “Grid.” Too Bright is truly brilliant. Bob Mould’s Beauty & Ruin is the sound of a man in mourning, following the loss of a parent, beginning, fittingly enough with the dirge-like “Low Season.” But it doesn’t take long before Mould (and his band, including Jason Narducy and Jon Wurster) kick into rapid-fire rock mode on furious tunes such as “Little Glass Pill,” “I Don’t Know You Anymore,” “Fire In the City,” “Tomorrow Morning” and the blistering “Kid With Crooked Face,” which at just over two minutes is one of the album’s highlights. The gentler “Hey Mr. Grey” is also outstanding. Bob Mould plays New Year's Eve at Metro.
Chicago's
in the know ... ON THE GO!
By Sue Deaunym
When Your Over It
If you’ve had your fill of family and need something a little funkier smelling than Aunt Edna’s Shalimar and egg nog, head to Touché for its “Ripe” party for down and dirty male fun on Saturday, Dec. 27... Screw the Christmas carols, Roscoe’s… If you can hold out ‘til after the holidays stop in at Sidetrack on Tuesday, Jan. 6, for the next installment of “OUTspoken! LGBTQ Stories”… On New Year’s Day Lucky Horseshoe they’re auditioning the new dancers for 2015 and you get to vote from a field of more than 40 men!... Not ready to give up the holidays yet? Touché plays punk rock and holds a tat contest on Friday, Jan. 2 and holds a second New Year’s Eve party, “Black and Blue Bear Night” on Saturday, Jan. 3. (I once blew a bear, but I never saw a blue bear.)
Community Calendar
You’ll barely have time to recover from the holidays before all the community events start taking over your calendar. Take out your phone and put these dates in your calendar. Friday and Saturday, Feb. 6 and 7, the Artemis Singers present “Loves Lost, Loves Found”, and knowing those lesbians, the list is long. Tix are $15 in advance, $20 at door. For more information, go to www.info@artemissingers.org. … What better way to say, “I love you” than to take your sweetie to a black tie gala filled with politicians? Seriously, Equality Illinois’ gala is one of the hot tickets in town. It seems like just yesterday I danced at the gala with a young man running for the senate named Barack Obama. Okay, so I danced next to him and Michelle, but I can dream the rest, can’t I? Individual tickets for the Saturday, Feb. 14 event are $330. For more information, go to www.eqil.org... A little flashier, the “On the Red Carpet” on Sunday,
Feb. 22 is a benefit for Center on Halsted. This will be the last time for the Academy Awards viewing party. It’s being held at Park West. For more information, go to Chicago www.centeronhalsted.org... Saturday, Feb. 28 is Chinese New Year. Welcome the year of the sheep with Asian and Friends Chicago at Phoenix Restaurant, 2131 S. Archer. The evening begins with cocktails followed by a multi-course dinner. RSVP by calling 312.409.1573 or www.afchicago.org.
Scene Change
We all love Halsted, it’s our home away from home. But, if you’ve been looking to broaden your horizons (a nice way to say “look for fresh meat”) make it your New Year’s resolution to check out some of these queer events that are off the beaten path. The most established and biggest of these parties is “Chances Dances” inclusive queer dance party at the Hideout (1354 W. Wabansia). Everyone get sweaty and is ecstatic. It’s always a good time. The next one is Saturday, Jan. 3… The oddly named “Fabitat” is the all-inclusive GLBTQ night at Double Door. (1572 N. Milwaukee) It features live music, drag performances and DJ sets. The next one is Wednesday, Jan. 14… “Soft Leather” is Logan Square’s monthly GLBT night at The East Room (2828 W Medill). The next one is Sunday, Jan. 18... At “Burly” at The Burlington (3425 W. Fullerton) on Wednesday Jan. 21, is for “bearded boys, funky folk and all other queers and allies”. Burly’s resident DJs spins punk, disco and new wave galore… "Off Chances” at Danny’s Tavern (1951 W. Dickens) is an offshoot of “Chances Dances”, with the same inclusive spirit as its sib but a more conversational vibe. Lots of young guys in skinny jeans will gather on Tuesday Jan. 13… “Potencia” at Punch House (1227 W. 18th) in Pilsen is a fairly new “for queers and friends of all types” on Monday Jan. 5. boiMAG 29
ASK ACE by Ace Magyar
Ex Rated Drama
My boyfriend Robbie has always gotten along well with his ex (I’ll call him Todd). It never bothered me because he lived in Las Vegas and we live in Chicago. Last month Todd moved back to town, he even stayed with us for a week until he found a place to live. Last week Robbie was on a business trip and I was feeling lonely so I went to Sidetrack to watch show tunes (my boyfriend hates them). I saw Todd who was singing along and having a great time. He looked across the bar and waved to me, I waved back and he came over. We talked and sang along and the next thing I know we’re making out like crazy. We went back to his place and had the hottest sex I’ve ever had. We met up a couple times during the week while Robbie was out of town. We said we weren’t going to have sex, but each time we got together that’s what ended up happening. He wants to tell Robbie and see if we can have some kind of three-way relationship. I’m afraid I may lose them both and don’t know how I’ll explain the relationship to people.
to a triad, and any successful relationship, is communication. If you do decide to go ahead with this arrangement, you don’t need to explain the relationship to anybody. When you introduce them simply say this is my boyfriend Robbie and this is my boyfriend Todd. Most people will catch on, if they don’t and you feel like clarifying things go ahead, but you don’t owe and explanation to anybody.
Auntie Dotes
I adore my 10 year old niece and we are very close. Her mother (my brother’s wife) as decided that people have gotten too materialistic and decided that no one can give gifts to her daughter. I travel a great deal for work and one of the joys of my life has been in finding just the right gift for my niece in every country I visit. On my last trip I found a delightful locket that I gave to my niece, telling her not to tell her mother. My sister-in-law discovered it and made a scene. I know I am never going to have children of my own, so I like giving my niece presents. It wasn’t terribly expensive, so I don’t know what the big deal was.
Dear AD,
The big deal was that you not only went against your sister-in-law’s wishes, but you Dear ERD, asked your niece to lie about it. You are I know of two successful triads (that’s the exhibiting exactly the kind of behavior she term for a relationship between three people). was trying to avoid. Whether you agree One has been together for nearly 20 years, with your sister-in-law’s decision or not, you the other for 10. In both of those triads, there should respect her decision. Your niece is her was a primary relationship first, with a third (and your brother’s) child to raise, not yours. member brought in. I don’t know of any that You were in the wrong, so apologize and ask have happened spontaneously, nor do I know forgiveness. On your next visit offer to do of one where two people had a relationship things where you spend one-on-one time with the third, so I have little experience in with your niece. If your sister-in-law has no these matters. The one thing I do know is that objections, take your niece skating or to the some people can be in a triad relationship theater, ballet or a movie. Even just a walk in and some can’t. If you do decide to discuss the park will suffice. Believe me, your niece the subject with your boyfriend, be honest will treasure the time you spend with her just about your attraction to his ex and the fact as much as, if not more than, a trinket from that you’ve already been together. The key someplace she’s never been. Ace Magyar has a BA in communications, a MA in sex therapy and a PhD in zoology. He is a registered couple’s counselor specializing in the GLBT community. Send your questions to ASK ACE at boieditorial@aol.com
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