Boise Weekly Vol. 18 Issue 30

LOCAL, INDEPENDENT NEWS, OPINION, ARTS AND ENTERTAINMENT WWW.BOISEWEEKLY.COM VOLUME 18, ISSUE 30 JANUARY 20–26, 2010

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TAK EE E ON E! 12 shine FEATURE business flourishes and Idaho potatoes are put in high demand.

Empty tract hous developme in Meridian They demolished succeed. returned farmland

THE TAO OF THE 2010S The next 10 years is up to you.

And the Hoff.

NOISE 19

THE VERY MOST Local band’s new CD covers a year SCREEN 22

BOOK OF ELI New Denzel flick is all doom and gloom FOOD 24

BIRD’S BURGERS A Meridian joint’s take on God and grub

“The Machiavellian meatloaf that we are choking on today.”

CITY DESK 9

ALTERNATIVE ROCK

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BW STAFF PUBLISHER: Sally Freeman Sally@boiseweekly.com Office Manager: Shea Sutton Shea@boiseweekly.com EDITORIAL Editor: Rachael Daigle Rachael@boiseweekly.com Arts & Entertainment Editor: Amy Atkins Amy@boiseweekly.com Features/Rec. Editor: Deanna Darr Deanna@boiseweekly.com News Editor: Nathaniel Hoffman Nathaniel@boiseweekly.com Staff Writer: Tara Morgan Tara@boiseweekly.com Listings: Juliana McLenna calendar@boiseweekly.com Proofreaders: Jay Vail, Annabel Armstrong Interns: Andrew Crisp, Lizzy Duffy, Joe Firmage, Jennifer Spencer Contributing Writers: Bill Cope, Travis Estvold, Jennifer Hernandez, Dan Hudak, David Kirkpatrick, Ted Rall ADVERTISING Advertising Director: Lisa Ware Account Executives: Meshel Miller, Meshel@boiseweekly.com Chelsea Snow, Chelsea@boiseweekly.com Jessi Strong, Jessi@boiseweekly.com Jill Weigel, Jill@boiseweekly.com CLASSIFIED SALES Classifieds@boiseweekly.com CREATIVE Art Director: Leila Ramella-Rader Leila@boiseweekly.com Graphic Designers: Adam Rosenlund, Adam@boiseweekly.com, Lindsey Loch, Lindsey@boiseweekly.com Contributing Artists: Derf, Mike Flinn, Glenn Landberg, Jeremy Lanningham, Laurie Pearman, E.J. Pettinger, Ted Rall, Tom Tomorrow CIRCULATION Shea Sutton Shea@boiseweekly.com Apply to Shea Sutton to be a BW driver.

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NOTE SOMEWHERE ALONG THE WAY, I LEARNED NOT TO TAKE MYSELF TOO SERIOUSLY. AT LEAST NOT ALL THE TIME. But for now, let’s start with the serious business: News of what’s happening behind the closed doors at BWHQ. This week, we welcome a new sales staffer to head up what’s been a headless department at BW for more than a year.

Lisa Ware has joined the Boise Weekly crew as ad director, filling the longtime vacancy and rounding out the paper’s management team.

The not-so-serious business comes courtesy of this week’s main feature. With a string of serious feature stories slated in the coming weeks, we decided to loosen our tie a bit (metaphorically speaking, of course, since the first rule of the alt newspaper business is “no neckties” because that would mean suits and suits are a definite nono) and shed a most ridiculous light on some of the really serious stuff we cover regularly. As you read through the choose-your-own-adventure story on Pages 12-13, please remember that we made up every word on the page. Any resemblance to the people or events contained therein is absolutely nothing more than coincidence colliding with the twisted hand of fate. I mean, that is, if the presence of velociraptors didn’t tip you off first.

And while none of the members of Built to Spill were harmed in the making of this week’s feature story, it occurs to me that a number of cows were fatally harmed in the making of this week’s issue.

From the Hoffburger empire (Page 13) to this week’s Big Bird’s Burgers food review (Page 24) to Food News all about Chadder’s (Page 24), the old “Be-Dub” is a bit ground beef-special sauce-lettuce-tomato-onion obsessed this week. Apologies in advance to the herbivore-only readers out there. Apologies also to the meat-eaters, who may find themselves unusually hungry working their way through this edition of Boise Weekly.

—Rachael Daigle

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ARTIST: Benjamin Love TITLE: CMYKrishna MEDIUM: Silkscreen, gouache and graphite on panel ARTIST STATEMENT: I miss you, call me, 1-877-493-7024, I still love you.

Boise Weekly was founded in 1992 by Andy and Debi Hedden-Nicely. Larry Ragan had a lot to do with it too.

BOISE WEEKLY IS AN INDEPENDENTLY OWNED AND OPERATED NEWSPAPER.

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SUBMIT

Boise Weekly pays $150 as well as a $25 gift certificate to Boise Blue Art Supply for published covers. One stipulation of publication is that the piece must be donated to BW’s annual charity art auction in November. Proceeds from the auction are reinvested in the local arts community through a series of private grants for which all artists are eligible to apply. To submit your artwork for BW’s cover, bring it to BWHQ at 523 Broad St. Square formats are preferred and all mediums are accepted.

Thirty days from your submission date, your work will be ready for pick up if it’s not chosen to be featured on the cover. Work not picked up within six weeks of submission will be discarded.

BOISEweekly | JANUARY 20–26, 2010 | 3

WWW.BOISEWEEKLY.COM What you missed this week in the digital world.

INSIDE EDITOR’S NOTE MAIL

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BILL COPE

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TED RALL

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NEWS Civil Rights activists speak in Boise Budget funny money

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PUNK’S DEATH NO ACCIDENT Prolific punk musician Jay Reatard was found dead at the age of 29 at his home in Memphis, Tenn. As of BW press time, Reatard’s death was being investigated as a homicide.

CRASH A PARTY BW’s political calendar for the legislative season went live and you can embed it or subscribe to it. Beware the following criteria: the BW pol. cal. is 1. selective 2. described with our own BW spin so that we know what the hell they are about and 3. not guaranteed to be 100 percent accurate, because politicians love to flip the script at the last minute, hide the agendas and meet in secret. We’ll try to keep you updated, but don’t blame us. Blame them.

SI MAG SAYS BRONCOS COULD GO NO. 1 Sports Illustrated magazine predicted that Boise’s favorite pigskin players will be at the top of next year’s BCS roster with a decent chance at playing the big game.

THE WORLD ACCORDING TO NSHOMBO FBM Fidel Nshombo has this week’s futbol rundown.

But Nshombo also gets serious with “Congo’s Forgotten 14 Years,” in which he talks about the rape and genocide still occurring in the Democratic Republic of Congo.

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FEATURE Choose Your Own Decade 12 BW PICKS

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FIND

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8 DAYS OUT

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SUDOKU

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NOISE Locals The Very Most

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MUSIC GUIDE

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SCREEN The Book of Eli

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MOVIE TIMES

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FOOD Two reviewers check out Big Bird’s big beefy burgers

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WINE SIPPER

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CLASSIFIEDS

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HOME SWEET HOME

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NYT CROSSWORD

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FREEWILL ASTROLOGY

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BOISEweekly | JANUARY 20–26, 2010 | 5

MAIL WASH YOUR MOUTH OUT, BW I follow BW’s official Twitter feed, and I was dismayed to find that someone had referred to the Tea Party activists by saying, “Tea Baggers usurp Idaho Capitol steps on MLK day.”

Please guys, whether or not you agree with their policies, don’t call them Tea Baggers. It’s an offensive slang term (look it up on urbandictionary.com) and shouldn’t be used by BW to describe anybody. It would be similar to seeing a BW tweet that said “Fags usurp Idaho Capitol steps on MLK day.” You or I would never say the latter; please don’t say the former.

Aside from that, keep up the good work, and yes, I am the Twitter police.

—Dan Wiedeback, Moscow

LESSONS LEARNED Mr. Temple (BW, Mail, “Trial By TV,” Jan. 13, 2010) wonders why the detainees from the 9/11 disaster should be tried in a civil court, not a military one. I, like him, am a veteran, but I am also an old codger who received an all-expense-paid trip the Pacific during WWII. During that time, thousands of American citizens whose ancestors came from Japan were sent to detention centers inland. No trial, no proof. And oddly, many of the young men joined the American army, and served in a unit with more medals, more honors than any other combat group.

My point? If we leave anything behind when our empire collapses, other than McDonald’s and blue jeans, it will be our belief that all people regardless of age, gender, national

S U B M I T Letters must include writer’s full name, city of residence and contact information and must be 300 or fewer words. OPINION: Lengthier, in-depth opinions on local, national and international topics. E-mail editor@boiseweekly.com for guidelines. Submit letters to the editor via mail (523 Broad St., Boise, Idaho 83702) or e-mail (editor@boiseweekly.com).

Letters and opinions may be edited for length or clarity. NOTICE: Ever y item of correspondence, whether mailed, e-mailed, commented on our Web site or Facebook page or left on our phone system’s voice-mail is fair game for MAIL unless specifically noted in the message.

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origin or sexual preference should be treated fairly.

I hate to say this, but the bombers who actually perpetrated the disaster were gone in the explosions.

They were truly guilty!

Now we suspect that others had been involved.

But it is a fundamental of our justice system that people are considered innocent until proven guilty in a court of law. I lived through the years of the Holocaust, a time when people were rounded up and detained simply because they were: 1) Jewish, 2) homosexuals, 3) mentally delayed. If there is any possible value to getting older, it is that we can see from a different perspective. All people, in my view, should be treated equally in court, at work, or in the world. This may sound a little silly to some, but this may be a big step toward justice for Guatanamo detainees. Gee whiz, maybe they aren’t really guilty of any crimes at all. Let us find out before we keep the imprisoned for another 10 years or more.

—Tom Edgar, Boise

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BILL COPE/OPINION

OFF COLOR

You du man, Steele ... not the man Republicans want Harry Reid to give up his position of majority leader. They insist he made a racist comment during the campaign season, just as Trent Lott did a few years ago, and that he should follow Lott’s lead and get lost.

Here, somewhat condensed, is what Reid said: Barack Obama has a good shot at winning the presidency because he is lightskinned and doesn’t speak with a Negro dialect. He was stating the obvious: Obama is lighter-skinned than many African-Americans, he doesn’t talk like what many white Americans have come to expect from stereotypical black characters straight from Central Casting of a century’s worth of ďŹ lmed entertainment, and as a result, he might appeal to enough white voters to win. There was no hint in the comment that there is something wrong with either darker-skinned blacks or sounding like Richard Pryor, and ultimately, the observation proved to be right.

Here, somewhat condensed, is what Trent Lott said: I voted for Strom here, and it’s too bad he didn’t win the presidency back in ’48 because things would be a lot better now if he had. This was said at a gathering to celebrate Strom Thurmond’s 100th birthday and referred to Thurmond’s Dixiecrat presidential bid in which his principle issue was to preserve the practice of segregation.

In 1948, Thurmond was one of the nation’s most visible and virulent segregationists, adamant about maintaining the policy of keeping blacks separate from whites in every way possible—a policy which had resulted (by that time) in eight decades of illiteracy, poverty, humiliation, savage violence and numbing injustice for African-Americans, particularly in the South, and worst of all, in Mississippi. And Mississippian Trent Lott said in 2002 that things would have been better for America had Thurmond won.

See the difference?

U Of course you do. That’s because you have a brain tucked away somewhere between your ears.

The same cannot be said of far too many Republicans who are wailing that Reid’s illwrought words, accurate as they may have been, are the moral equivalency of Lott’s repulsive nostalgia for a Jim Crow South, now largely gone with the cleansing wind of civil-rights legislation and integration.

But we know this frumpery has nothing to do with GOP outrage over racism, don’t we? As is widely recognized, the crocodile indignation with Reid’s statement is nothing more than another attempt to distract Reid from his leadership tasks. Besides, I don’t believe there is a lobe in the GOP brain that processes outrage over racism (unless it’s to throw a tantrum because some white guy thinks he didn’t get a job because a minority individual got it ďŹ rst).

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Taking it further, I’m convinced that if there were such a thing as authentic, sincere GOP outrage over racism, there would be no GOP. It has long been my conviction that the modern Republican Party’s very foundation is a gentriďŹ ed version of white supremacy, and that the odium they feel for liberals is a direct result of the progress for all minorities that liberals have encouraged, facilitated and applauded, and that the right has resisted at every turn.

But wait! There’s a aw in Cope’s reasoning, is there not, considering that just last spring, the Republicans went out and found themselves a black man to lead their party?

Ah yes ... Michael Steele. Michael “You Du Man!� Steele, as Michele Bachmann so preciously put it. And it’s true; a black man leads the RNC. But does anyone honestly believe that Steele would have been elected to that top spot had Barack Obama not been elected president?

Yet there’s a more insidious racism in Steele’s election than the patronizing and desperate appeal to minority voters in the wake of a devastating loss, and it has to do with the nature of the man they chose as the phony big tent face of their pup tent party.

Warning: The manner in which I intend to portray that nature will be offensive to many in that I will pull from that aforementioned century’s worth of American entertainment for my metaphors. But since so few people would identify with names like Ralph Bunche, Thurgood Marshall, Adam Clayton Powell and Edward Brooke—all prominent black leaders from days gone by—I feel it necessary. I am, after all, writing to a mostly white Idaho audience, and I know from experience that the black faces of show biz may be the only black faces many recognize.

Here’s what I mean: with Obama, the Democrats gave us Denzel Washington; in response, with Steele, the Reps gave us Amos and Andy.

U Pick your own stand-ins. Say ... Sidney Poitier, which the GOP answered with Stepin Fetchit. Maybe James Earl Jones, and the RNC brought in Redd Foxx.

You may fairly object to the caricatures I’ve invoked, but if you doubt their applicability, think back to the howl of protest from the Republican base when Steele went off the plantation last summer and implied his job wasn’t to play Rochester to Boss Limbaugh’s Jack Benny. It took him ... what? ... maybe a day to get back to his place. It has been his pattern since gaining the post: to occasionally speak his honest mind, then tap dance his way out of it when the audience gets ugly.

But to give Steele a break, his dodginess is probably inevitable within a GOP that is so uncomfortable with minorities that it periodically puts on a minstrel show, and calls it diversity.

& 'PSU 4U #PJTF t CPJTFMJUUMFUIFBUFS PSH t Tickets: $11 general, $9 seniors and students BOISEweekly | JANUARY 20–26, 2010 | 7

OPINION/TED RALL

THE HAITIAN EARTHQUAKE Why the blood is on our hands NEW YORK—As grim accounts of the earthquake in Haiti came in, they all carried the same descriptive sentence: “Haiti is the poorest country in the Western hemisphere ...”

How did Haiti get so poor? It’s an important question. The same 7.0 tremor hitting San Francisco wouldn’t kill nearly as many people as in Port-au-Prince.

“Looking at the pictures, essentially it looks as if (the buildings are of) breezeblock or cinderblock construction, and what you need in an earthquake zone is metal bars that connect the blocks so that they stay together when they get shaken,” notes Sandy Steacey, director of the Environmental Science Research Institute at the University of Ulster in Northern Ireland.

“In a wealthy country with good seismic building codes that are enforced, you would have some damage, but not very much.”

Earthquakes are random, but in Haiti, don’t blame tectonic plates. Ninety-nine percent of the death toll is attributable to poverty.

How’d Haiti become so poor? The story begins in 1910, when a U.S. State DepartmentNational City Bank of New York (now called Citibank) consortium bought the Banque National d’Haiti—Haiti’s only commercial bank and national treasury—in effect transferring Haiti’s debt. Five years later, President Woodrow Wilson ordered troops to occupy Haiti in order to keep tabs on “our” investment.

From 1915 to 1934, the U.S. Marines occupied the country, murdered Haitians patriots and diverted 40 percent of Haiti’s gross domestic product to U.S. bankers. Haitians were banned from government jobs and the ambitious were put into the puppet military, setting up for a half-century of military dictatorship.

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The Unites States kept control of Haiti’s finances until 1947. We stole 40 percent of Haiti’s national wealth for 32 years. Despite having been bled dry by U.S. bankers and generals, civil disorder prevailed until 1957, when the CIA installed President-for-Life Francois “Papa Doc” Duvalier. Duvalier’s brutal Tonton Macoutes paramilitary goon squads murdered at least 30,000 Haitians and drove educated people to flee.

Upon Papa Doc’s death in 1971, the torch passed to his even more dissolute 19-yearold son, Jean-Claude “Baby Doc” Duvalier.

The United States quickly warmed up to the kleptomaniacal playboy heir, pouring in arms and training his army as a supposed anti-communist bulwark against Castro’s Cuba. Baby Doc stole an estimated $300 million to $800 million from the national treasury, according to Transparency International, and placed the money in personal accounts in Switzerland and elsewhere. Under U.S. influence, Baby Doc virtually eliminated import tariffs for U.S. goods. Domestic rice farmers went bankrupt.

Farms were abandoned and farmers migrated to the teeming slums of Port-au-Prince. In 1986 President Ronald Reagan ordered U.S. forces to whisk Baby Doc to exile in France.

We’ve twice deposed the popular democratically elected president Jean-Bertrand Aristide.

The second time, in 2004, we even gave him a free flight to the Central African Republic. (He says the CIA kidnapped him, but whatever.)

Yet, despite everything, they’re still a fourth-world failed state on a fault line. And still, we haven’t given up. American companies like Disney generously pay wages to their sweatshop workers of 28 cents an hour.

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NEWS/CITYDESK NEWS

RE-EXAMINING KING’S LEGACY Two civil rights speakers to address past, present and future of activism NATHANIEL HOFFMAN Not the annual MLK march on the Capitol.

proclamation encouraging community service and volunteerism to commemorate Idaho Human Rights Day. But two civil-rights veterans coming to Boise this week will speak of the legacy of King in a different way.

In Washington, D.C., President Barack Obama and his cabinet marked Martin Luther King Jr. Day by volunteering in shelters and soup kitchens. In Idaho, Gov. C. L. “Butch” Otter read a

JEREMY LANNINGHAM

While Obama was handing out hot meals, Cornel West, a fiery orator and professor of religion and African American studies at Princeton University preached to an Atlanta crowd: “I don’t want to sanitize Martin Luther King Jr. I don’t want to sterilize Martin Luther King Jr. I don’t want to deodorize Martin Luther King Jr. I want some funk in Brother Martin, I want to keep it real with Brother Martin.”

And Joseph McNeil, a soft spoken Air Force veteran who helped spark the student sit-in movement when he sat at a whites-only lunch counter at the Greensboro, N.C., Woolworth’s in 1960, told BW of his one meeting with King.

“He energized the SCLC [Southern Christian Leadership Council] to become more active and more involved in the sitins,” McNeil said of his strategy session with King. “They were taken by surprise that the sit-ins were happening and were happening so spontaneously.”

McNeil is the speaker at the annual American Civil Liberties Union Bill of Rights Dinner on Sat., Jan. 23. West speaks Monday, Jan. 25, at Boise State, providing the keynote address to a week of MLK events. (See BW event listings for details.)

Cornel West (left) and Joseph McNeil (right).

HIDE THE WONKS Otter paying for policy advisers with other agency budgets NATHANIEL HOFFMAN On paper, Gov. C. L. “Butch” Otter cut his own office by 3.8 percent for 2011, while recommending that the average agency budget decrease 2 percent. But Otter is planning to account for some of his policy advisers the way that former Gov. Dirk Kempthorne did until 2006: stash them in other agency budgets.

Otter told BW this week that he plans to use at least two budget analysts from the Division of Financial Management as policy advisors, and DFM director Wayne Hammon told the legislative budget committee recently that he is serving as a policy adviser as well.

“It makes sense,” Otter said.

Roger Brown, a senior financial management analyst on education and transportation, is already listed as a policy team leader for local government and Josh Tewalt, also a senior analyst and former staffer in Otter’s congressional office and Idaho Cattle Association vice president, may soon be.

“Josh Tewalt would be well-qualified to do WWW. B OISEWEEKLY.C O M

a lot of things,” Otter said.

But not for more pay. These policy tasks, which the governor’s budget analysts often perform anyway, would be added to the analysts’ existing workloads.

“More with less,” Otter spokesman Jon Hanian said.

In 2006, the Legislature shifted five full-time policy adviser positions from the DFM budget to the Governor’s Office budget to more accurately reflect the work they were doing. When Otter was elected, he first said that agency heads would be his policy advisers, but he soon collected a policy staff of his own.

Since last year, two of his advisers have transferred to other agencies. John Chatburn was an assistant to Otter on energy, water and natural resource issues, but since October, has been a manager at the Office of Energy Resources, still dealing with energy. Chatburn, whose new position is funded by federal stimulus dollars, also coordinates with the Western

Governors’ Association on energy issues. And Clete Edmunson, a former Otter adviser for education and roads, now works at the Department of Labor, where he is “helping build public-private partnerships devoted to fulfilling the governor’s goal of creating jobs that lead to careers,” according to a September e-mail.

“John Chatburn still advises in terms of energy, along with [OER director] Paul Kjellander … but only within their role over there,” Otter said.

Otter has left those two positions vacant to help fund the current year holdback in his office. He also eliminated two paid internships, instituted 10 furlough days and dropped the state’s $60,700 membership in the National Governors’ Association.

Also, Otter would like to add one new position to his staff, a governor’s liaison who has been located in Washington, D.C., and now in Coeur d’Alene under the Department of Commerce budget.

IDAHO TEA PARTY GOES ESTABLISHMENT When the Tea Party movement made its public debut in Boise on Tax Day last year, it was a decidedly anti-establishment affair, with marchers calling for outlandish freedoms, quoting Ayn Rand and disparaging the president.

Then they went and got organized.

Monday’s rally at the Statehouse seemed more like a Lion’s Club meeting than a talk radio-fueled protest march.

One by one, conser vative lawmakers approached the podium to drone on about gun rights, sound currency, rights of midwives and the Constitution. The crowd of 400-500 people golf clapped and took notes and then flooded into the Statehouse for teach-ins about the legislative process and meetings with lawmakers.

Idaho legislators even have a new caucus to address the marchers’ issues.

It’s called the Platform for Prosperity or Conser vative Caucus, according to Twin Falls Rep. Steve Hartgen.

“I think we have ears to what the Tea Party people are saying,” Hartgen said, adding that he had recently heard talk of secession.

Coinciding with Martin Luther King Jr./ Idaho Human Rights Day, rally organizers mentioned race only one time, at the outset of the event.

“We are not racists,” said Mark Balzer Sr., co-chair of the Sovereign Idaho coalition, a loose-knit affiliation of Tea Party-like groups. “We will not be quiet and we most certainly will not go away. We have legitimate reasons to protest our government.”

None of the dozen or so speakers mentioned King or the fact that is was both a state and national holiday.

“It was not an intentional snub of Dr. King,” Balzer told citydesk. “I believe Dr. King would be in support of what we are tr ying to do today.”

Meanwhile, a celebration of King’s life, bumped from the Capitol steps by the Tea Party marchers, could be heard two blocks to the south, at Boise City Hall. Their cheers echoed off the steps, as confused Tea Partiers wondered what was coming up Capitol Boulevard.

If parallels are to be drawn, perhaps the Tea Party should take a hint from the Civil Rights Movement. Once you start getting your laws passed and your leaders elected, you’ll be establishment, too, and won’t have as much to yell about.

Of course there’s always Rep. Lenore Barrett, the incorruptible Challis Republican who offered the crowd a new metaphor for the season: that of the “Machiavellian meatloaf that we are choking on today.”

We’ll take the soup.

—Nathaniel Hoffman

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UNDA’ THE ROTUNDA

LEAVING CASH ON THE TABLE Wanted: More tax collectors for scofflaws ANDREW CRISP The governor is ignoring some $64.5 million, state revenue that’s “left on the table,” as Senate Minority Leader Kate Kelly put it. These are funds that are already owed to the state government. How could that much money— roughly four times the amount that’s being cut from Public Schools for fiscal year 2011—remain untapped? Enter the Idaho tax gap.

The Idaho State Tax Commission collects the money that we pay in taxes. The department collected a large portion of the net $2.3 billion of revenue that Idaho will receive in the current budget year.

But not all of the money owed is collected.

The tax gap is the amount of money unpaid to the State of Idaho through underreporting, understating income or overstating deductions, underpayment or not filing or paying on time.

Most Idaho citizens pay their taxes and most do so on time. Some make honest mistakes.

And some flat out don’t file or don’t pay.

David Langhorst, an Idaho tax commissioner since July 2009 and former Democratic legislator from Boise, spoke to BW about the commission’s 2009 Tax Gap Study.

“It’s a self-assessment, a way for us to gauge the possibilities. Revenue departments are always considering what’s left on the table,” Langhorst said.

According to the report—which the commission’s four members, two Democrats and two Republicans, agreed upon unanimously— Idaho’s net tax gap is $255 million in negligent tax dollars. Currently, the commission’s staff of auditors, collection agents and compliance workers manages to collect only a portion of this money each year.

Langhorst, citing the report, also refers to Idaho’s 2003 budget. At the time, declining revenues and budget holdbacks were also an issue. Then-Gov. Dirk Kempthorne signed

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legislation that gave the Tax Commission an extra $926,000 for collections. According to the report, this funding allowed the department to bring in an additional $10 million in revenue in one year, producing an average return on investment of 13 to 1.

The tax gap report also details what Gov. C.L. “Butch” Otter’s cuts to the agency have done to their staffing, and subsequently, their ability to collect. With 24 vacancies left unfilled, the agency determines that its been unable to collect roughly $14.8 million dollars.

For example, the agency’s four missing “Phone Power” collection agents collect, on average, $2 million per year. Each.

It’s estimated that each million-dollar loss to the commission results in $10 million less to the state’s General Fund. The Tax Commission’s budget has failed to keep in step with population growth, and its budget reflects an attempt to use 2006 dollars to net 2010 profits.

According to the Tax Commission’s annual performance report, it costs, on average, only $40 for each closed collection case, and only $418 per audit case closed. For comparison, in FY 2009, audits collected approximately $44 million, and collections netted roughly $120 million.

The Tax Commission used several sources to determine Idaho’s tax gap, including information from the Internal Revenue Service, from the Idaho Office of Performance Evaluation and from Tax Commission staff.

They used these numbers to generate an estimated Idaho tax gap. The commission then built a business plan called Compliance Initiative 2011 to determine how much of the roughly $255 million can feasibly be collected.

Langhorst described the law of diminishing marginal utility, which outlines how, at some

point, even unlimited resources would not net the entire amount. Rather, they concluded that the collectible tax gap measures $64.5 million.

The Tax Commission’s study concluded that it could produce another large return on investment, as in 2003, predicting a 6-to-1 ratio. By that figure, it would take roughly $10 million to generate the extra needed revenue to shrink the tax gap.

Some think that number might be a bit too safe. According to Sen. Tim Corder, a, Mountain Home Republican: “I think David [Langhorst]’s right, but we know there’s more … I think the commission’s being conservative in that estimate. There’s support from me on this, sure.”

Mark Warbis, Otter’s communications director, said Otter put $1.5 million in his budget for additional collections.

“He’s funded $1.5 million to ‘prove up’ to the 6-to-1 return that they’ve said that they can meet. We’re working with [Commission Chairman Royce] Chigbrow as it proves up. The problem is cash flow; you can’t spend money you just don’t have,” Warbis said. “If taxes are due, they should be collected and they should be paid.”

That “extra” $1.5 million is built into the already reduced budget when compared to prerecession funding. Overall, the commission’s proposed budget is still down, like most other state agencies.

Speaking of leaving cash on the table, compare the potential uncollected tax revenue to the $82.8 million that Otter’s fiscal wizard Mike Ferguson predicts will be available in 2011 but that Otter left out of his budget, just in case. That’s $147.3 million on the table.

That’s more than all the tables in the newly renovated statehouse combined, plus the marble and tile and everything else.

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BOISEweekly | JANUARY 20–26, 2010 | 11

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20-10S

DECADE S TA R T

The first decade of the 21st century is over, but rather than looking back, we decided to consider what the next decade might bring. From our perspective, anything—and we mean anything— is possible. It just depends on what choices you make. More importantly, it depends on what decisions the Hoff makes, for if the next decade hinges on any one person, it has to be David Hasselhoff.

He abandons the project halfway through, leaving a tower of rusting rebar.

After remaining public school funding has been cut, children can be dropped off at the hole, where they spend hours using the rebar as a jungle gym.

Seeing a prime business opportunity in Boise, Hasselhoff buys the Boise Hole and builds a 52-story world headquarters for the Don’t Hassle the Hoff empire.

The Hoff recently quit his day job as a judge on American’s Got Talent. Pondering his future, he’s got a couple of options (as far as we see it). He could:

B W S TA F F

Revamp Baywatch to appeal to an older audience by moving it to a Los Angeles senior center pool.

Open a late-night hamburger and drive-through liquor store chain called Hoffburger.

He completes the project and hires all laid off Micron employees.

HERE WE COME

The federal government deems potatoes a controlled substance.

An illegal moonshine business flourishes and Idaho potatoes are put in high demand.

Outraged, Bryan Fischer leads religious conservatives in an attempt to revive prohibition.

They succeed.

They fail.

The kids manage to actually finish the building.

The kids go all Lord of the Flies.

They storm the city and install Big Bird as their supreme leader. Built to Spill is asked to play a benefit concert for Idaho Public Television.

12 | JANUARY 20–26, 2010 | BOISEweekly

Realizing the impossible can really happen, peace and prosperity fill the globe and Built to Spill is asked to play a benefit concert for benefit concerts.

Late one night, bored engineers find a way to turn Hoff Burger byproducts into alternative fuel for Boise’s streetcar.

The city now smells like hamburgers, drawing wolves into the downtown area.

Adapted to city life, the wolves become vegetarians and rampage through the Saturday farmers market.

Scientists from the University of Idaho clone a velociraptor, eliminating the wolves but leaving Boise with a giant velociraptor problem.

Built to Spill is asked to play a benefit concert for organic farming co-ops.

Marijuana growers plant illegal potato fields in Idaho’s forests and public service announcements warn of the effects of “your brain on potatoes.” Idaho’s economy spirals downward and the governor asks Built to Spill to play a benefit concert for the state.

Empty tract housing developments in Meridian are demolished and returned to farmland.

Water demand spikes and Built to Spill is asked to play a benefit concert for rain.

Dejected, Fischer becomes a commentator on Fox News, ousting Glenn Beck. With the loss of his identity, Glenn does a 180 and champions universal health care, gay marriage rights and open borders. Just as Americans begin to embrace a new era of tolerance, the sun sets on Dec. 21, 2012, the end of the ancient Mayan calendar and the world. Built to Spill is unable to play a benefit concert since we’re all dead.

We domesticate the velociraptors and train them to carry people on their backs, thereby providing free public transportation and making Boise the greenest city in the world. Built to Spill is asked to play a benefit concert for the velociraptor training program.

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Conservatives pressure NBC to sell Tina Fey to China, where she is hugely popular. Built to Spill plays a beneďŹ t concert to get her back.

You send, â&#x20AC;&#x153;I AM actually Tina Fey.â&#x20AC;?

Thousands ďŹ&#x201A;ock to LA to audition for the show, prompting TSA to implement new security rules, requiring all passengers to wear TSA-approved Snuggies and Crocs.

You decide to stay home.

While relaxing in Hyde Park, you notice a Container Store has opened. Suddenly, the rustle of sweater sets and chinos alerts you to the invasion of Eagle residents making a hostile takeover of the North End. You immediately quit your day job, join the takeover and schedule a mani/pedi.

You go along with it.

On your ďŹ&#x201A;ight, you sit next to Sarah Palin who is traveling to promote her new book Guide to World Geography. You blind her with the book light that came with your Snuggie, grab her phone and tweet from her Twitter account.

You send, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Big love to my 1 & only sugar mufďŹ n, Pelosi.â&#x20AC;?

Rush and Glenn team up for a revamped version of The Simple Life.

Americans everywhere rise up in revolt, smash their televisions and renew their subscriptions to print media. Someone asks Built to Spill to play a beneďŹ t concert for network TV.

You join the mass exodus of Subarus and cruisers ďŹ&#x201A;eeing the North End.

As you ďŹ&#x201A;ee, you head north, brieďŹ&#x201A;y stopping in Avimor before claiming the empty shell of Tamarack as the new liberal stronghold in Idaho. Built to Spill is asked to play a beneďŹ t concert to raise money for a new food co-op.

While getting groomed, you ďŹ nd yourself next to Lori Otter, who tells you Coach Chris Petersen has entered the race for governor.

Coach Pete wins.

Coach Pete loses.

Fans see his loss as a loss for Boise State and begin burning their blue and orange gear, releasing toxic chemicals into the atmosphere, speeding up global warming and displacing millions of coastal residents. Bono asks Built to Spill to play a beneďŹ t concert.

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In the wake of the ensuing scandal, Pelosi resigns, leaving Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck struggling to ďŹ nd someone to blame everything on.

Rush and Glenn give up and pull a Thelma and Louise.

Without them, peace is reached in the Middle East, global warming reverses, people stop listening to Lady Gaga and someone asks Built to Spill to play a beneďŹ t concert for the Republican Party.

Coach Pete accepts the massive salary cut, but immediately changes the ofďŹ cial state nickname to â&#x20AC;&#x153;Bronco Nation.â&#x20AC;?

Incensed Vandals fans declare Northern Idahoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s independence and build a wall near Riggins.

Twenty years later, Build to Spill is asked to play a beneďŹ t concert to promote reuniďŹ cation. * No members of Built to Spill were injured in the creation of this story.

BOISE CITY DEPT OF ARTS &HISTORY opportunities public art

April VanDeGrift, AiR Artist

!

Upcoming Opportunities: !

Application Deadline February 10 !

Application Deadline February 12 !

Application Deadline February 19

for more information visit our website:

www.boiseartsandhistory.org or call us at 208.433.5670 BOISEweekly | JANUARY 20â&#x20AC;&#x201C;26, 2010 | 13

BOISEvisitWEEKLY PICKS boiseweekly.com for more events

What’s not to Love?

THURSDAY JAN. 21

We’re crossing our fingers that these Brits hit it big with Broken Side of Time.

cake

THURSDAY JAN. 21

SUM MOMENT Here are five reasons, in ascending order, why you should check out Boise State undergraduate student Benjamin Love’s new show “Sum Moment—A Collection of Wings” at the Boise State Student Union Gallery. 5) One piece in the show features the line “I dance in the mirror, but I don’t dance at parties. But I’m a really good dancer now,” which Love found scrawled on a muddy scrap of paper on New Year’s Eve. 4) There will be ample amounts of Astroturf. 3) There will be a 20-foot-long rainbow. 2) He’s baking a life-sized Michael Jackson cake. 1) He’s keeping the cake’s flavor a secret, but promises it will be “really spectacular.”

A recent participant in the 8th Street Marketplace’s Artists in Residence program and this week’s BW cover artist, Love works in wide array of mediums.

“I come from mainly a sculptural background, but I’ve been experimenting with painting a lot lately,” said Love. “I’ve made some really large paintings and have been using sculptural ideas to build them, thinking of them more as objects.”

The opening reception for “Sum Moment” will take place on Thursday, Jan. 21, from 5 to 7 p.m. In addition to sampling the giant Michael Jackson mystery cake, attendees can view Love’s painted interpretations of other texts culled from slushy piles downtown.

“For me, I’m interested in the idea of intimately knowing this person through these revealing texts,” said Love. “On another level, as an artist, I think it’s funny that somebody seeing the paintings will probably think that I wrote them and that they’re texts about me.”

5-7 p.m., FREE, Boise State Student Union Building, second floor, 1700 University Drive, 208-426-4636, union.boisestate.edu.

FRIDAYSATURDAY JAN. 22-23 stage THE PHIL’S SALUTE TO OPERA IDAHO What do you get when you pair a penguin suit with a Viking helmet? Either a super-random Halloween costume or Boise Philharmonic’s A Salute to Opera Idaho. Conductor Robert Franz will lead the talented Boise Philharmonic musicians through Mozart’s Symphony No. 41 in C Major, “Jupiter,” and Leonard Bernstein’s Suite from Candide.

But that’s not all. As a part of the phil’s 2009-2010 season of collaboration, they have invited Opera Idaho to perform as well. Taking the stage on Friday, Jan. 22, and Saturday, Jan. 23, are notable opera singers Jennifer Welch-Babidge and Karim Sulayman. WelchBabidge, a soprano, holds a masters degree in vocal performance from the North Carolina School of the Arts, and is currently a professor at Brigham Young University.

She has graced the stage at Carnegie Hall and worked alongside many noted ensembles and symphonies.

Sulayman, a tenor, received his master of music from Rice University’s Shepherd School of Music. The

14 | JANUARY 20–26, 2010 | BOISEweekly

inaugural winner of the Lys Symonette Award, Sulayman has plenty of experience bringing opera to the main stage. Joining them will be Opera Idaho soloists Michele Detwiler, a mezzo-soprano, and baritone Jason Detwiler.

Billed as “full of texture,” A Salute to Opera Idaho is an opportunity to catch two of Boise’s most renowned arts institutions for the price of one. Hooray for bargains.

Friday, Jan. 22, 8 p.m., $17-$36, Northwest Nazarene University, 623 Holly St., Nampa, 208-467-8011; Saturday, Jan. 23, 11 a.m., $10-$15, 8 p.m., $21-$65, Morrison Center, 2201 Cesar Chavez Lane, 208-426-1609, boisephilharmonic.org.

music ALBERTA CROSS AT RECORD EXCHANGE The terms “metal,” “rock,” “blues” and “roots” don’t say much individually any more, but string them all together and you start to get an idea of what Britain-by-way-of-New York band Alberta Cross sounds like.

With co-captains Petter Ericson Stakee (vox/guitar) and Terry Wolfers (songwriting/bass) at the helm, Alberta Cross’ full-length Broken Side of Time (ATO Records) will likely steer the band to the forefront of epic music that bridges the gap between a classic sound and something brand new just over the horizon. Think a very grown-up Wolfmother.

Guided by the band and producer Mike McCarthy (Spoon, Dead Confederate, Heartless Bastards), keening guitar soars across chugging rhythms, building like a tidal wave. But often, just as a song feels like it’s about to crest, everything halts, white space and pared-down vocals pulling everything under into a blue melancholy.

There’s an anxious quality to songs like “ATX” as Stakee pleads, “I just want to feel / cause I just can’t relate.” Eerie standout “Rise From the Shadows” takes a sharp leeward turn, Stakee asking over and over, “Can you feel it?” His forlorn falsetto chorus of “Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-wooh-ooh” blows through the song like sand through a sunken ship on the sea floor. In several of the album’s tracks, even the happiest of instruments, the tambourine, sounds haunting.

Alberta Cross has been compared to Kings of Leon, has played with Them Crooked Vultures and has been featured at New York City’s CMJ festival and at the Austin City Limits festival, but Broken Side of Time will likely be what launches the band into the American music mainstream. This performance is their only Boise stop.

6 p.m., FREE, Record Exchange, 1105 W. Idaho St., therecordexchange.com.

SATURDAY JAN. 23 herpetology WINTERFEST 2010 Nampa has long had the rep for being Boise’s smaller sibling, but this Januar y, Nampa is eager to prove it can hang with big bro. Winter fest 2010, formerly known as the less punchy Customer Appreciation Day, will showcase all— well most—of what Nampa

has to offer. The Nampa Civic Center will overflow with all sorts of local flavor, providing attendees with ample recreation, shopping and food options. Patrons will be treated to live entertainment, samples from local restaurants and door prizes galore.

If free food, free entertainment and free stuff aren’t enough to entice you to Nampa, the event will also feature a reptile room presented by the Idaho Herpetological Society. (Tee hee,

herpetological.) Brave snake charmers can take a gander at all the slithering serpents before getting their pictures taken with them. That’s right—8-foot-long snakes will be on hand to pose and promenade with you. So, if you like free food and speak Parseltongue, head to Nampa for a day of rollicking reptilian revelry.

9 a.m., FREE, Nampa Civic Center, 311 Third Street South, 208-468-5500, nampaciviccenter.com.

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FIND

There’s nothing rickety about a Rickenbacker.

TRES BONNE CUISINE

SATURDAY JAN. 23 guitars

Doucaine in the membrane.

ROCK AND RICKENBACKERS When George D. Beauchamp first rigged a washing machine motor to a couple of horseshoe magnets and a coil on his dining room table, he could’ve never imagined the musical revolution his invention would spark. He dubbed this initial electric guitar prototype the “Frying Pan” and quickly enlisted the help of friend Adolph Rickenbacker to begin manufacturing it. The two decided to call the instruments Rickenbackers because Adolph’s cousin, Eddie Rickenbacker, had popularized the family name as a skilled World War One pilot. In the ’60s, John Lennon and George Harrison both played Rickenbackers, which also led Roger McGuinn of the Byrds to pick up a 12-string electric Rickenbacker. Now, 79 years after their invention, Rickenbackers are still considered top-notch electric guitars.

On Saturday, Jan. 23, the Boise Blues Society will exhibit a few of these rare and vintage instruments at the Linen Building, including the Rickenbacker Electro “Frying Pan” and an Electro Spanish electric guitar. Classic rock cover band The Blue Addicts will crank out jams by the Allman Brothers, Eric Clapton, Mark Knopfler, Muddy Waters and Little Feat while guitar nerds daydream about fondling the frets on these uncommon instruments.

8 p.m., $3, Boise Blues Society members, $5, general public, Linen Building, 1402 W. Grove St., 208-385-0111, thelinenbuilding.com. Advance tickets available at the Linen Building.

SATURDAY JAN. 23 civil rights JOSEPH MCNEIL OF THE GREENSBORO FOUR It’s difficult to imagine that bellying up to a lunch counter could change the very fabric of American society. But when Joseph McNeil and three of his peers from North Carolina Agricultural and Technical State University decided to stage a sit-in at the Woolworth’s whites-only lunch counter in Greensboro, N.C., on Feb. 1, 1960, that’s exactly what happened.

After being refused service because of the color of their skin, the four college fresh-

S U B M I T

man decided to hold tight, remaining in the restaurant until the store closed. The next day, they returned with more African-American students in attendance, which sparked intense media coverage. By the sixth day, an estimated 1,000 protesters filled the Woolworth’s and spilled onto the streets, bringing downtown Greensboro to halt. This sit-in sparked similar uprisings across the South, becoming one of the most emblematic non-violent struggles in the civil-rights movement and hastening passage of the Civil Rights Act and the Voting Rights Act. Almost 50 years to the day after these famous sit-ins took place, McNeil, a retired major general in the Air Force Reserves, will head to Boise

TUESDAY JAN. 26 doucaines AAGE NIELSEN CD RELEASE When archaeologists lifted the remaining half of King Henry VIII’s sunken war ship Mary Rose from the English seabed in 1982, they scored a boatload of treasures. One particular find was the only extant model of a 14th century double-reed instrument called the doucaine. While slightly similar to the schawm, the doucaine is not as common; there are only a handful of replica instruments and players in existence. Boisean Aage Nielsen is one of those rare doucaine dudes and is quickly becoming one of the instrument’s leading living experts. On his Myspace page, Nielsen describes the doucaine as having “eight holes in front and one in back [to] allow full chromatic fingerings for a 10th, with a transitional open note before overblowing the 12th.” Riiight.

If you’re having a hard time visualizing exactly what that means, head down to Record Exchange on Tuesday, Jan. 26, for the release of Nielsen’s new album Doucaine Among Friends, which features the artist’s quirky blend of folk and classical music recorded live at St. John’s Cathedral. Though Nielsen is an experienced bass clarinetist—he’s played in Boise Philharmonic since 1988—his new album is all about his mastery of this odd instrument. Nielsen will be joined by his colleagues from Darkwood Consort, as well as members of the College of Idaho Chorus. They will play a few tracks off the CD for Record Exchange patrons, as well as more familiar songs like The Clash’s “Should I Stay or Should I Go” and The Beatles’ “Penny Lane.” Each song will be arranged using the doucaine, three violas and a contrabassoon.

Nielsen and his crew have traveled the world performing music, venturing as far as Denmark, Iceland and Holland.

Don’t miss your chance to revel in the doucaine’s delightful oddness when this eclectic performer takes over Record Exchange. B.Y.O. mead and chain mail.

7 p.m., FREE, The Record Exchange, 1105 W. Idaho St., 208-841-2691, myspace.com/aagenielsen.

to speak at the ACLU of Idaho’s 2010 Bill of Rights Celebration, “Take a Seat and Make a Stand.” On Saturday, Jan. 23, at 6 p.m., join the ACLU of Idaho in the Simplot Ballroom at Boise State for dinner and an inspirational evening. Don’t miss out on this rare opportunity to hear

With each 16-ounce beer Barbara Haines pulls from a crate on the floor, a different story froths forth. The Strzelec Porter, she explained, was created in 1823 in the small town of Jedrzejow, Poland. Clocking in at 9-percent alcohol, this muddy brew was dubbed “the truth serum” by Barbara, a Polish immigrant, and her husband, Tom. “You tell people they have to share this beer, otherwise they talk themselves to death,” laughed Barbara.

Tom and Barbara Haines opened Tres Bonne Cuisine (formerly the Tres Bon Cafe located in the basement of Macy’s downtown) in its new location on Overland in 2005.

The small, easy-to-miss space features a sprinkling of clothTRES BONNE CUISINE draped tables, a deli case full 6555 Overland Road of various sausages and row Tues.-Wed., 9 a.m.- 4 p.m.; after row of unpronounceable Thurs.-Sat., 10 a.m.-8 p.m.

European beers and wines. The tresbonnecuisine.com place also has a small kitchen where they whip up themed dinners—Hungarian, Scandinavian, German, Croatian— every Thursday through Saturday.

Near closing time on a recent Thursday evening, a group of regulars were clustered around a table littered with beer bottles of various shapes and sizes. The remnants of beef rolls with dumplings and cabbage lingered on their plates and dried foam ringed their glasses. Barbara totaled up my selections—which included a Lithuanian “Lobster Lovers Beer” and a Ukrainian “Magnat” beer—without missing a beat in her conversation. Next time, I’ll pull up a chair and enjoy my brews, and their accompanying stories, on-site.

—Tara Morgan

a living civil-rights icon speak about the past and future of this ongoing struggle. See News, Page 9 for more.

6 p.m., $50-$100, Simplot Ballroom, Boise State Student Union, 1700 University Dr. For info, call 208-344-9750, ext. 204 or visit acluidaho.org.

an event by e-mail to calendar@boiseweekly.com. Listings are due by noon the Thursday before publication.

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8 DAYS OUT WEDNESDAY JAN. 20

FRIDAY JAN. 22

On Stage

Concerts

SINNERS AND SAINTS—Minerva, Selena, Godiva and special guest Victoria woo and wow the crowd with glitzy performances of lip-syncing stardom. Sin is a 21-and-older venue. 8-10 p.m. $2. Sin, 1124 W. Front St., Boise, www.sinboise.com.

BOISE PHILHARMONIC, MUSICALLY SPEAKING—Prior to the concert, attendees will hear from Jamey Lamar about the featured composer’s life. Held in the Swayne Auditorium. 7 p.m. FREE to concert ticket holders. Northwest Nazarene University, 623 Holly St., Nampa, 208-467-8011, www.nnu.edu.

Food & Drink FIT AND FABULOUS IN 2010—A lesson in gourmet goodness that’s great for your body. 6:308:30 p.m. $40 members, $50 nonmembers. Boise Co-op, 888 W. Fort St., Boise, 208-4724500, www.boisecoopwineshop. com.

Literature THE WRITE TO TELL THE TALE— Join a group of nonfiction writers who learn from guest speakers and from each other through discussion and critique. 7-8:30 p.m. FREE, www.sageecosci.com/ Writers.html. Library at Collister, 4724 W. State St., Boise.

THURSDAY JAN. 21 Festivals & Events ELEGANCE ON THIRD THURSDAY—An elegant evening of dancing. Guests are encouraged to dress to the nines for this “big city” event hosted by Adam Gottesman. 7-10:30 p.m. FREE. Owyhee Plaza Hotel, 1109 Main St., Boise, 208-343-4611, www. owyheeplaza.com.

CLASSICAL CONCERT SERIES, A SALUTE TO OPERA IDAHO—See Picks, Page 14. 8 p.m. $17-$65.

Northwest Nazarene University, 623 Holly St., Nampa, 208-4678011, www.nnu.edu.

SATURDAY JAN. 23 Festivals & Events WINTERFEST 2010— See Picks, Page 14. 9 a.m. FREE. Nampa Civic Center, 311 Third St. S., Nampa, 208-468-5555, www.nampaciviccenter.com.

On Stage BOISE PHILHARMONIC MUSICALLY SPEAKING—Prior to the concert, attendees will hear from Steve Trott about the featured composer’s life. 7 p.m.

FREE to concert ticket holders.

Morrison Center for the Per forming Arts, 2201 Cesar Chavez Lane, Boise, 208-426-1609, mc.boisestate.edu.

JOHN TYLER—Head over for dinner and a show by funny guy and magician John Tyler. 6:30 and 8:30 p.m. Music of the Vine, 2805 Blaine St., Ste. 130, Caldwell, 208-454-1228, www. musicofthevine.com.

Auditions POPEYED, THE SAILOR MAN— Prairie Dog Playhouse is gearing up for its second show in 2010, Popeyed, The Sailor Man! Parts needed include five men and four women. Head over and be prepared to improvise. 1:30 p.m.

Prairie Dog Playhouse, 3820 Cassia St., Boise, 208-3367383, www.pdplayhouse.com.

Concerts CASUAL CLASSICS, A SALUTE TO OPERA IDAHO—A classical concert series perfect for the whole family hosted by the always interactive Maestro Robert Franz. 11 a.m. $10-$15.

Morrison Center for the Performing Arts, 2201 Cesar Chavez Lane, Boise, 208-426-1609, mc.boisestate.edu.

CLASSICAL CONCERT SERIES, A SALUTE TO OPERA IDAHO—See Picks, Page 14. 8 p.m. $21-$65.

Morrison Center for the Performing Arts, 2201 Cesar Chavez Lane, Boise, 208-426-1609, mc.boisestate.edu.

Food & Drink CREME BRULEE AND PETITS FOURS—Join pastr y chef Hugues to discover the world of French pastries. 11 a.m. $40.

Potter y Gourmet, 811 W. Bannock St., Boise, 208-368-0649.

ROCK THE RUNWAY—Local musicians and fashion artists present a stellar night chock full of stylish duds and smooth tunes.

All proceeds from the event will be donated to the Boise Rescue Mission. 6 and 8 p.m. $5. Skyview High School, 1303 E. Greenhurst Road, Nampa, 208-468-7820.

Art BENJAMIN LOVE RECEPTION—See Picks, Page 14. 5-7 p.m. FREE. Boise State Student Union Building, 1910 University Drive, Boise, 208-426-INFO, union.boisestate. edu.

JOYRIDE—A new exhibition created by artists Dick and Judy Deam featuring large oil paintings, digital giclee prints and watercolor paintings. 6-9 p.m. FREE. The Gallery at The Linen Building, 1402 W. Grove St., Boise, 208-3850111, www.thelinenbuilding.com.

Odds & Ends HOME DECOR OPEN STUDIO— Cruise in for a sampling of ideas for your home. 10 a.m.-noon.

FREE. Twigs and Twist, 605 Americana Blvd., 208-342-0600, twigsandtwist.com.

16 | JANUARY 20–26, 2010 | BOISEweekly

Dude Howdy by Steve Klamm was the 1st place winner in the 8th Annual Boise Weekly Bad Cartoon Contest.

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8 DAYS OUT OPEN HOUSE—Sample unique and edible creations, including handmade chocolates, pastries and cakes. 1-4 p.m. FREE. Amaru Confections, 5475 Kendall St., Boise, 208-991-2253, www. amaruconfections.com.

Art HISTORIC GUITAR EXHIBIT—See Picks, Page 15. 8 p.m. $3 Boise Blues Society members, $5 nonmembers. The Linen Building, 1402 W. Grove St., Boise, 208-385-0111, www. thelinenbuilding.com.

Talks & Lectures JOSEPH MCNEIL—See Picks, Page 14. 6 p.m. $50-$100. Boise State Student Union Building, 1910 University Drive, Boise, 208-426INFO, union.boisestate.edu.

Green HOME COMPOSTING— Teaching participants how to reduce curbside garbage by reusing their waste. 9:30 a.m.-noon. $40 per class. Kids and spouses are free. BUGS Garden, 4821 W. Franklin Road, Boise, 208-424-6665, www. boiseurbangardenschool.org.

SUNDAY JAN. 24 On Stage MAILING MAY—A reader’s theater program for children of all ages, presented by TRICA and Open Door Children’s Theater. 2 p.m. $5. To reserve tickets, call 208-344-2220. The Linen Building, 1402 W. Grove St., Boise, www.thelinenbuilding.com.

Workshops & Classes 2010 BY DESIGN—A workshop designed to take your vision and turn it into reality through the exploration of Universal Principles. 1-4 p.m. $40. Center for Spiritual Living, 600 N. Curtis Road, Boise, 208-375-0751, www.spiritual-living.org.

MONDAY JAN. 25 Green SIERRA CLUB INFORMATIONAL—An evening of pizza, beers, a short movie and great conversation. Sierra Club works hard to preserve and protect natural spaces. 6 p.m.

Papa Joe’s, 1301 S. Capitol Blvd., Boise, 208-344-7272.

TUESDAY JAN. 26 Food & Drink MARKET REVIVAL 2—Join a group of talented writers, designers, photographers and illustrators for discussion and portfolio sharing. Drink specials running throughout the event.

4-7 p.m. FREE. Modern Hotel and Bar, 1314 W. Grove St., Boise, 208-424-8244.

WINE TASTING 101—Join chef and wine industry professional Brad Cowan for an evening of sussing out those pesky senses.

6-7:30 p.m. $10. Brick Oven Bistro, 801 N. Main St., Boise, 208-342-3456, www.brickovenbistro.com.

Screen GARBAGE DREAMS—Fed by the notion that “one man’s trash is another man’s treasure,” certain residents of Cairo take on collecting trash as their trade. Following the screening, Boise City environmental program manager Catherine Chertudi will discuss the future of Boise’s recycling and waste programs. 5:30-7 p.m.

FREE. Boise State Student Union Building, 1910 University Drive, Boise, 208-426-INFO, union. boisestate.edu.

Talks & Lectures THE MEPHAM GROUP

| SUDOKU

FIRES, FLOW AND FISH, CLIMATE CHANGE AND THE BOISE RIVER—A presentation by research hydrologist Charlie Luce. 6 p.m. FREE. Garden City Librar y, 6015 Glenwood St., Garden City, 208-472-2940, www.gardencity.lili.org.

WEDNESDAY JAN. 27 On Stage AT HOME IN THE ZOO—Set in New York City on a sunny afternoon, Home at the Zoo follows three sundry folks, Peter, Anne and Jerry, as they meander in and out of secrets and truths. Another bit of brilliance by Edward Albee.

8 p.m. $12-$32. Boise Contemporary Theater, 854 Fulton St., Boise, 208-442-3232, www. bctheater.org.

CLAUDE STUART—Gear up your gutt for funny guy Claude Stuart.

8 p.m. $10. Hijinx Comedy Club, 800 W. Idaho St., Boise, 208947-7100, hijinxcomedyclub.com.

| EASY | MEDIUM

| HARD |

PROFESSIONAL |

Complete the grid so each row, column and 3-by-3 box (in bold borders) contains every digit 1 to 9. For strategies on how to solve Sudoku, visit www.sudoku.org.uk.

Go to www.boiseweekly.com and look under odds and ends for the answers to this week’s puzzle. And don’t think of it as cheating.

Think of it more as simply double-checking your answers.

LAST WEEK’S ANSWERS

Food & Drink GIRLS NIGHT OUT—Gather the ladies together for an evening of chocolates, wines, pampering and decadent desser ts.

6:30-8:30 p.m. $40 members, $50 nonmembers. Boise Co-op, 888 W. For t St., Boise, 208472-4500, www.boisecoopwineshop.com.

© 2009 Mepham Group.

Distributed by Tribune Media Services. All rights reserved.

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BOISEweekly | JANUARY 20–26, 2010 | 17

8 DAYS OUT MULTIPLE DAY EVENTS Festivals & Events BE TWICE INSPIRED WEDDING SALE—A new and gently used wedding dress extravaganza featuring a variety of wedding necessities as well. Fri., Jan. 22, 5-9 p.m. and Sat., Jan. 23, 11 a.m.-4 p.m. Jan. 22, $2; Jan.

23, FREE. Powerhouse Event Center, 621 S. 17th St., Boise, 208-433-0197, www.powerhouseevent.com.

BUSINESS AND TECHNOLOGY SHOW—Check out the BizExpo for all your technological needs.

Featuring more than 40 hours of informative seminars and tech teachings. Wed., Jan. 27, 12-5 p.m. and Thu., Jan. 28, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. FREE. Boise Centre on the Grove, 850 W. Front St., Boise, 208-336-8900, www. boisecentre.com.

18 | JANUARY 20–26, 2010 | BOISEweekly

On Stage THE ADVENTURES OF SHEERLUCK HOMES—Watch as Sheer Homes gets lucky, or not, in solving cases with his powers of happenstance. Fri.-Sat., Jan. 22-23, 7:15 p.m. and Sun. Jan. 24, 2 p.m. $7-$13. Prairie Dog Playhouse, 3820 Cassia St., Boise, 208-336-7383, www. pdplayhouse.com.

FOOLS—Leon Tolchinsky has landed a terrific teaching job in an idyllic Russian town, where

upon arrival he finds it has been cursed with chronic stupidity for more than 200 years. It is Leon’s job to break the curse.

Fri. Jan. 22, 8 p.m. and Sat. Jan. 23, 2 p.m. and 8 p.m. $11 adult, $9 senior and student.

Boise Little Theater, 100 E. Fort St., Boise, 208-342-5104, www. boiselittletheater.org.

MASTER CLASS—A play by Terrence McNally in which diva Maria Callas, a bold and funny pedagogue of a voice master class, reflects on the triumphs

and pitfalls of her life and career while celebrating and critiquing three of her eager Julliard students. Intended for mature audiences. Thur.-Sat., Jan. 21Jan. 23, 8 p.m. and Sun. Jan. 24, 2 p.m. $15 general, $12 students, Boise State alumni, military and seniors. Danny Peterson Theatre, Morrison Center, 2201 Cesar Chavez Lane, Boise, 208-426-3980, theatre. boisestate.edu.

THE MURDER ROOM—A witty comedy about a money-hungr y wife and her numerous attempts to kill off her wealthy husband in order to claim it all.

Fri.-Sat., Jan. 22-23. Dinner star ts at 6:30 p.m. Show at 8 p.m. $39 dinner and show, $20 show only. Dinner must be purchased at least one day in advance. Knock ‘Em Dead Dinner Theatre, 333 S. Ninth St., Boise, 208-385-0021, www. kedproductions.org.

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NEWS/NOISE NOISE LAU R IE PEAR M AN

AN INDIECATER OF SUCCESS A Year With The Very Most is a CD for all seasons AMY ATKINS

“I liked the fact that some of The Very Most have beards. Beards are cool,” wrote Kevin Dunphy from Dublin, Ireland. Facial hair, it turns out, was only one of the reaThe Very Most: They’re all happy that at least some of them sport beards. sons he wanted to put out their music.

Dunphy runs Indiecater Records— originally a download-only label—which under Jensen’s airy voice. Summer roars released the Boise band’s newest CD, A Year better word—buzz about a band,” Jensen in with a 12-second rainstorm and the said. “You get picked up by an mp3 blog With The Very Most both digitally, as well Beach Boys-like tune “A Mid-80s Lower and hopefully that means you get picked up as the label’s second physical offering.

Middle-Class Family Summer Road Trip,” by a bigger one, and maybe get reviewed on Yes, some of TVM do have beards, the a particularly poignant track in light of the something like Pitchfork.” He chuckled and prevailing facial appellation of the indie added, “That’s not likely but that seems to be loss of Jensen’s mother last year in a tragic music set. But they more than just look the car accident. Autumn crinkles in with a part. The Very Most, with frontman Jeremy the path [a lot] of music promotion takes.” short intro of leaves being raked and brings Jensen, who seems a bit reserved in perJensen at the hairy head, has a knack for tinging keyboards, a chorus of “Ah-Wee! son, wasn’t shy about pushing TVM songs. creating sweet, addictive indie pop.

Ah-Wee!” and kazoos in Jensen’s love letter “I sent messages out to probably 400 Thirty-three-year-old Jensen began to his favorite piece of apparel, “Sweater.” mp3 blogs,” he said. “It took awhile.” making music under the moniker TVM in The perseverance paid off. Dunphy, who Winter blows in and brings with it the around 2002, employing a semi-rotating solemn notes of “It’s the Best Thing,” as started Indiecater in 2008 as a result of his cast of musicians to play with him. well as an islandy version of “Away in a “It’s funny to think about that,” he says. music blog MP3Hugger.com, had written Manger” that would be a welcome substiabout TVM’s “Good Fight Fighting,” a “We were named ‘Best New Band’ from Idaho in The Boston Phoenix in 2008 when track he adores. Jensen e-mailed Dunphy to tute for the ones most often heard pouring out of store PA systems during the holiday say thanks and the two began correspondwe’d been a band for six years.” shopping season and has an adorable acing regularly.

It isn’t hugely surprising that it would companying video.

“We got on very well,” Dunphy wrote, take someone outside of Boise awhile to The meaty compilation of songs was a “and we found out we shared a similar taste hear about TVM. The glut of music availkind of turning point for both Indiecater in music so things just took off.” able online now means a band is almost and TVM. Dunphy decided to release A Between e-mails and instant messaging, required to get out and to be seen not just Year With The Very Most on physical CDs the two of them came up with the idea to heard in order to stand out and build a and Jensen—with some encouragement release TVM songs with a seasonal theme. faithful fanbase. But like many musicians “It just seemed like from his wife—rounded up his bandmates in their 30s, Jensen (including his musician brother Elijah) and a more interesting has a job and a famheaded off to Ireland to celebrate the CD’s way to come up with ily, two things he’d Friday, Jan. 22, 8:30 p.m., $5 release there. The TVM shows were wella small batch of songs rather not be away All ages CD release party with Finn Riggins, attended in the Emerald Isle, and the band each new season that from for long. They Spondee and Floomdorm. even garnered a handful of interviews. would eventually try to get on the road, THE LINEN BUILDING There will no doubt be as much enthusibecome a full record,” playing places like 1402 W. Grove St. asm for A Year With The Very Most here in Dunphy wrote. “It Eastern Idaho and thelinenbuilding.com Boise during TVM’s CD release show, with also gave me the the Tri-Cities three Finn Riggins, Spondee and Floomdorm on freedom to see how or four times a year, good TVM really were and the opportunity the lineup. TVM will also debut their new but that’s about as far as they go. Knowing video for “Autumn Air” by local auteur to drop them unceremoniously before the an extensive touring schedule wasn’t in the Jason Sievers. cards, Jensen got creative—and tenacious— record release if they didn’t come up to Not to put the cart before the horse, but scratch (joke).” about introducing The Very Most to a it won’t be long after this release that fans All kidding aside, the result is the sumbroader audience. on both sides of the ocean will be chomping mery/autumnal/snowy/flowers-blooming A With TVM’s second record, Congratuat the bit for more. Dunphy indicated that Year With The Very Most, in which each lations Forever as a marvelous example more is definitely in the works. season is a three- or four-track release. of their shiny, mirthful indie-pop, Jensen When asked if he had any suggestions as TVM started with Spring, the opening track began farming TVM’s tunes out to music just 15 seconds of little bird tweets followed to what TVM could do to improve, he had blogs everywhere. but one: “I wish they could record a bad by four tracks including the up-tempo “To“I began shopping some of our songs day Is Even Better,” replete with handclaps, song so as to give the competition a glint around to mp3 blogs, because that seems of hope.” jittery tambourine and sweet “la-la-la-las” to be the way to get some—for lack of a WWW. B OISEWEEKLY.C O M

BARBACOA BENNY After the pond-side Parkcenter haunt Barbacoa was engulfed in flames earlier this month, proprietor Rober t Castoro made an e-mail plea to area businesses: “As we are concerned for our employees and their families, we would like to ask the community and local businesses to contact us if you have jobs available or know of any.” An array of businesses and musicians quickly took up the cause, organizing the Benefit for Barbacoa, which will take place on Sunday, Jan. 31, at the Egyptian Theatre.

Organizers hope to pull in $20,000 for the medical and emergency needs of the 125 newly jobless Barbacoa employees.

The benefit gets going at 5:30 p.m. and features a hear ty helping of Chandlers staff and regulars, including musicians Marcus Eaton, Gayle Chapman, The Frim Fram Fellas, Phil Garonzik, Shawn Brazell, Rob and Tanya Baker, Kur t Sackett, Andrew Cor tens, Steve Eaton, Jon Hyneman, Camden Hughes, Pat Hyneman, John Jones Trio, Kevin Kirk, Jon Klein, Tom Moors, Wendi Phelps, Carl Scheider, Rebecca Scott, Mike Seifrit, The Sidemen, Rick Connelly, Greg Perkins, The Sally Tibbs Jazz Sextet, Tom Thompkins and Janessa White.

Tickets are $25 in advance or $30 at the door, with a $100 high-roller package, which includes free valet parking, an aperitif at Chandlers, a shuttle to the show and a musician meet-and-greet.

BCIMF SEEKS PERFORMERS The fifth-annual Boise Creative and Improvised Music Festival is clattering, stomping and scratching its way back to the stage April 22-24. Founded and directed by Boisean Krispen Hartung, BCIMF features an assortment of noise-makers along with visual artists, experimental film producers and playwrights. Last year’s event took place at both the Neurolux and the El Korah Shrine Temple and included electronic music composer Rick Walker, Oakland, Calif.-based improvisational sound artist Strangelet, and Los Angelesbased guitarist Jim McAuley, among many others. In addition, BCIMF 2009 offered mini art galleries and live collaborative art from locals like Charlie Forest, Loren Reed, Kate Masterson and Patricia McDermott.

BCIMF is currently accepting applications for this year’s festival. Interested improvisers should submit their group name, number of per formers, a brief description, Web site, e-mail address, phone number and a Web link to an audio or video representation of their work to bcimf2010@ gmail.com before Sunday, Feb. 28. For more information, visit www.b-cimf.com.

—Tara Morgan

BOISEweekly | JANUARY 20–26, 2010 | 19

LISTEN HERE/GUIDE GUIDE WEDNESDAY JAN. 20

THE THROWDOWN, BATTLE OF THE BANDS—Black Market Report, Guest House and Rebecca Scott Band. 9 p.m. FREE to listen, $1 to vote. Liquid

THE AGGROLITES, ALL HANDS GO—8:30 p.m. $10 adv., $12 door. Reef

A.A. BONDY, JAN. 26, NEUROLUX “You know I could drink the world / And never get my fill,” sings A.A. Bondy on “Oh the Vampyre,” the fifth track off his sophomore album, When the Devil’s Loose.

Louisiana-born Bondy emerged in 2007 with American Hearts. The Verbena ex-frontman’s solo direction sets lyrics about nature against a blues-and country-tinged backdrop.

Opener “Mightiest of Guns” contrasts its prophetic imagery—“The stars are falling down like burning rain”—with the gentle plucking of acoustic guitar. While the bass overpowers the fragile guitar and drums on “To the Morning,” it’s fitting with the haunting harmony of “False River.” Hypnotic closer “The Coal Hits the Fire,” pairs the faintness of marching-bandstyle drums with slide guitar and a cheerful whistle outro.

The strength of Bondy’s second album lies in lyrical imagery that takes listeners from a tranquil river boat to a blazing coal furnace on a sun-bound train. Hop on board.

—Jennifer Spencer This is a smoke-free show. With Willy Mason, 8 p.m., $8 Ticketweb, $10 door. Neurolux, 111 N. 11th St., neurolux.com.

20 | JANUARY 20–26, 2010 | BOISEweekly

THURSDAY JAN. 21 ALBERTA CROSS—See Picks, Page 14.

6 p.m. FREE. Record Exchange

MCKENNA FAMILY NIGHT—A talented teenager and her dad sing popular favorites. 6 p.m.

FREE. Sun Ray Cafe MGI DRAG SHOW—It’s bright lights in the big city of New York ... er, Boise. 8 p.m. $5.

Neurolux

HOWIE DAY, SERENA RYDER—7 p.m. $17.50-$40.

Knitting Factory IAN WAGNER, MIKE BLOMQUIST—9 p.m. FREE. Terrapin Station

KRITICAL KONTACT—With MC 1980 and Nobuddie. 11 p.m. $3. Neurolux

Dan Costello

FRIDAY JAN. 22 BIG HEAD TODD AND THE MONSTERS—See. Listen Here, Page 21.

8 p.m. $22 general, $40 platinum skybox. Knitting Factory DAN COSTELLO AND LETA NEUSTAEDTER—6:30 p.m.

FREE. Woodriver Cellars

MYSTIC ROOTS BAND— A melange of hip hop and reggae. 9 p.m. $5. Reef NEOTUNDRA COWBOY, JONATHAN WARREN AND THE BILLY GOATS—9 p.m. FREE. Liquid OCD, BLACK TOOTH GRIN, MUDBELLY—9 p.m. FREE. Monkey Bizness PARACHUTE, SAFETYSUIT, COUNT YOURSELF TO SLEEP, ARCHAELYDA, THE ROUGE—7 p.m. $10. The Venue

SATURDAY JAN. 23 ACTUAL DEPICTION— 9 p.m. $1. Liquid BLIND ARROWS SET SAIL, APPLE HORSE, MATT SHOCKEY—8 p.m. $3. Flying M Coffeegarage THE BLUES ADDICTS— See Picks, Page 15.

8 p.m. $3 Boise Blues Society members, $5 general.

The Linen Building CELTIC RESIN—A tribute to the Pogues. 9 p.m. FREE. The Plank THE CLUMSY LOVERS—7:30 p.m. $13-$35. Knitting Factory COSMIC FAMILY BAND— 7 p.m. FREE. O’Michael’s

REX AND BEVERLY—8 p.m.

FREE. The Gamekeeper

DJ BODIE—11 p.m. $3.

Neurolux

CENTRAL CITY MUSIC COMPANY—9 p.m. $3. Terrapin Station

THE GRASCALS—Acoustic and bluegrass. 8 p.m. $15-$20. The Bouquet

RIFF RAFF—9 p.m. FREE. The New Frontier

GIZZARD STONE— 10 p.m. $5. Reef

DAN COSTELLO AND LETA NEUSTAEDTER—6:30 p.m.

FREE. Lock, Stock & Barrel

HALLIE BAXTER—7 p.m. FREE. Red Letter Books

SOLAR ROLLER, AUDRA CONNOLLY, THE FAV—9 p.m. $5.

Terrapin Station

HALF THE WORLD— 10 p.m. $3. Terrapin Station

HIGH FLAVOR—7:30 p.m. FREE. Music of the Vine

SOUL HONEY—8:30 p.m. FREE. Piper Pub

JOHNNY SHOES—8 p.m. FREE. Willi B’s

VELORUTION—8 p.m. FREE. Sockeye

LBC (A TRIBUTE TO SUBLIME), BREAK THE CYCLE—7 p.m. $13-$30. Knitting Factory THE SUPERVILLAINS—A Florida-based reggae force with Mike Pinto. 8 p.m. $10 adv., $12 door. Reef

KILL UNCLE, BILL COFFEY, BELLE OF LES BOIS—8 p.m. $3. Visual Arts Collective

HOT LOCAL KNIGHTS—A five-week Battle of the Bands, featuring 66 local rockers.

Tonight is metal core with As Above So Below, Slain in Silence, Decay Through, Discourse, The Dude Abides, A Liquid Embrace, Threshold, Optimal Assault, Silence the Rein, Seven Deadly

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GUIDE/LISTEN HERE GUIDE Sins, Malicious Intent, Dismantling the Machine, No Need for Scarlet and Depths of Anguish. 4 p.m. $8. The Venue

Joshua Tree

MONDAY JAN. 25

WEDNESDAY JAN. 27

WEEKLY GIGS

PUNK MONDAY—Third annual Battle of the Bands. Free to listen, $5 to vote. 9 p.m. FREE. Liquid

FARLEY OVERDOSE, BONE DANCE, OHADI, JUMENT—9 p.m. Gusto Bar

BOISE BLUES SOCIETY JAM SESSION—Mondays, 8 p.m.

FREE. Jo’s Sunshine Lounge

THE GHOST INSIDE, FOR THE FALLEN DREAMS, SUFFOKATE, YOUR DEMISE, VERSAILLES—6:30 p.m. $10 adv., $12 door. The Venue

THE BUCKSHOT BAND—Saturdays, 9 p.m. Shorty’s

TERRI EBERLEIN—6:30 p.m.

FREE. Berryhill

IAN MCFERON, JOSHUA TREE—7 p.m. FREE. Pengilly’s THE LYRES— 8 p.m. FREE. Willi B’s MOONDANCE— 8:30 p.m. FREE. Piper Pub A NEW BEGINNING— Presented by Gay Boise Pride.

7:30 p.m. $5. Neurolux OCD, BLACK TOOTH GRIN, MUDBELLY—9 p.m. FREE. Monkey Bizness

TUESDAY JAN. 26

KEN HARRIS—6:30 p.m. FREE. Berryhill NOMO—8 p.m. $8 adv., $10 door. Neurolux POLYPHONIC POMEGRANATE—9 p.m. FREE. Liquid

A.A. BONDY, WILLY MASON—See Listen Here, Page 20. 8 p.m. $8 adv., $10 door. Neurolux ABANDON KANSAS, BANK, WE WON THE SCIENCE FAIR, CHILDREN 18:3—6 p.m. $10.

The Venue

REX AND BEVERLY—8 p.m.

FREE. The Gamekeeper RIFF RAFF—9 p.m. FREE. The New Frontier

WWW. B OISEWEEKLY.C O M

SEASONS AFTER—A five-piece rock/metal band from Kansas.

8 p.m. FREE. The Bouquet

FRIM FRAM 4—Thursdays, 8:45 p.m. FREE. Pengilly’s JAZZ NIGHTS—Mondays-Saturdays, 6:30 p.m. FREE. Berryhill; Kevin Kirk Tuesdays-Saturdays and The Sidemen on Sundays. 7 p.m., FREE, Chandlers JEREMIAH JAMES GANG— Wednesdays, 8:45 p.m. FREE. Pengilly’s

RED LIGHT VARIETY SHOW— With Dan Costello and Jonathan Warren and the Billy Goats. 8 p.m. Visual Arts Collective

JOHNNY SHOES—Wednesdays, 6 p.m. Lock Stock & Barrel POLYPHONIC POMEGRANATE—Wednesdays, 9 p.m. FREE. Liquid SOUL SERENE—Tuesdays, 7:30 p.m. FREE. Ha’Penny THURSDAY THROWDOWNS— Three bands battle. Thursdays, 9 p.m. FREE. Liquid

JIM LEWIS—7 p.m. FREE. O’Michael’s MAXWELL DUO—8 p.m. FREE. Sockeye

COUNTRY AND TOP 40—Saturdays, 9 p.m. $5. Cowgirls

REBECCA SCOTT—8 p.m. FREE. Reef

DOUCAINE AMONG FRIENDS—See Picks, Page 15. 7 p.m. FREE. Record Exchange Rex & Beverly

BILLY BRAUN—Mondays, 7 p.m. FREE. Chandlers

Red Light Variety Show

V E N U E S Don’t know a venue? Visit www.boiseweekly.com for addresses, phone numbers and a map.

BIG HEAD TODD AND THE MONSTERS, JAN. 22, KNITTING FACTORY When astronauts on the 2005 Space Shuttle Discovery mission asked guitarist Todd Park Mohr’s band to pen them a song—one that subsequently became one of Hillary Clinton’s presidential campaign tunes—he tried not to get a big head.

But with the band name Big Head Todd and the Monsters, that proved to be a smidge difficult.

The song, fittingly titled “Blue Sky,” is a meaty alt-rock ballad, orbiting in a universe of cliches: “Light this candle, make it right / Yes, you can change the world.”

But cliches aside, this Colorado blues-country-rock band has been cranking out jams since the late ’80s, with a rep for intense live shows. Mohr’s gritty, five o’clock-shadow vocals helped the band strike it big in 1993 with the platinum album Sister Sweetly. Revel in some early ’90s nostalgia and rootsy rock at the Knitting Factory on Friday, Jan. 22.

—Tara Morgan 7 p.m. doors, 8 p.m. show, $22-$40, Knitting Factory, 416 S. Ninth St., 208-367-1212, bo.knittingfactory.com.

BOISEweekly | JANUARY 20–26, 2010 | 21

SCREEN

MAD MAX REDUX Book of Eli is all Denzel and doom DAN HUDAK The Book of Eli is a bleak, post-apocalyptic tale that’s surprisingly effective as both an action movie and drama. It has some lapses in plausibility and the main character lacks a clear motivation, but ultimately the grim setting, solid performances and nicely choreographed action sequences win you over.

Thankfully, co-directors Allen and Albert Denzel Washington always plays a bad ass, but post-apocalypse, he’s badder than ever.

Hughes (Menace II Society) also have Denzel Washington, who’s so charismatic he could eat a bag of chips for two hours motorcycles and drive there? Everyone else people and give him unlimited power as and it would be interesting. Washington their leader. To get the book, Carnegie sends seems to have an inexplicable amount of plays Eli, a lone warrior in possession of a gas. Why wouldn’t he?

Solara, (Mila Kunis), the daughter of his rare book as he travels through a desolate, The story is also a bit slow developing: blind girlfriend (Jennifer Beals), to seduce destroyed America on his way to the West Eli, but what Carnegie doesn’t realize is that Much of the first 15 minutes is Eli against Coast. Washington’s performance speaks large backdrops of scorched earth, which Eli has a higher power guiding him. volumes to the importance of movie stars: suitably provides a sense of isolation but also Screenwriter Gary Whitta makes the We don’t know much about Eli, but Washreligious overtones obvious, but never is the gets tiresome rather quickly. Whitta and the ington makes us care about and like him, message of Christian- Hughes Brothers also get into trouble when and because we so they introduce supernatural elements, which ity beaten over our easily root for Eli, the break the movie’s self-imposed rules of reality heads. This is always movie works.

THE BOOK OF ELI (R) a story about survival for scenes that are too hard to believe.

On his journey, Eli Directed by Allen and Albert Hughes Still, the action is nicely done, particuand the preservation stops in a small town larly a shootout at the home of a couple of humanity, both run by a self-appointStars Denzel Washington, Gary Oldman, Jennifer Beals, Mila Kunis played by Michael Gambon and Frances good and bad. Noneed despot named Carde la Tour. And although the ending is a theless, logical flaws negie (Gary Oldman), Now playing at Edwards 9 and Edwards 22 real stretch, the idea of mankind surviving abound: If Eli needs who covets Eli’s in dire circumstances seems both poignant to get to the West book and will stop at and ironic right now, especially given that Coast so desperately nothing to get it. “It’s technology has made life more convenient that he’s been walking for 30 years, why happened before, it’ll happen again,” Carthan ever before. doesn’t he take one of the abandoned cars/ negie says about the book’s ability to unite

SCREEN/LISTINGS special screenings THE METROPOLITAN OPERA: DER ROSENKAVALIER ENCORE—Encapsulating love and drama in 18th century Vienna. Recorded live at the MET on Jan. 9, 2010. Wed., Jan. 27, 6:30 p.m. $9.50 adult, $7 seniors, $6.75 child. Edwards Spectrum 22, 7701 W. Overland Road, Boise, 208-377-1700, www. uatc.com.

opening BAD LIEUTENANT: PORT OF CALL NEW ORLEANS— Arthouse director Werner Herzog brings to life the story of New Orleans police sergeant Terrence McDonagh (Nicolas Cage) who injures his back while saving a life during Hurricane Katrina. Pain medication leads McDonagh down a path of addiction until

22 | JANUARY 20–26, 2010 | BOISEweekly

he finds himself wrapped up with notorious drug dealer Big Fate (Alvin “Xzibit” Joiner).

This formerly good lieutenant quickly turns terrifyingly bad.

(R) Flicks EXTRAORDINARY MEASURES—The agingever-gracefully Harrison Ford stars as eccentric Dr. Robert Stonehill, a man tasked with searching for a cure for a rare genetic disorder affecting John (Brendan Fraser) and Aileen Crowley’s (Keri Russell) children. Based on a true story, the Crowleys struggle to raise enough money to fund Stonehill’s research and learn as much about themselves and Stonehill as they do the disease. The tagline for this tear-jerker?

“Don’t hope for a miracle.

Make one.” (PG) LEGION—Good and evil battle it out once again in this scary Scott Stewart-directed flick as Archangel Michael

(the brooding Paul Bettany) leads a band of strangers trapped in a diner against a horde of angry angels. God, unhappy with mankind once again, sends a legion of his winged masses to straighten out the (his?) mess, turning Paradise Falls into anything but. Apocalyptic cliches abound—an unborn child may be humanity’s only hope, blah, blah—but if the rest of the movie keeps pace with the old lady-turned-demon seen in the movie trailer, Legion promises to provide a scream or two. (R) TO SAVE A LIFE—A popular teen comes face-to-face with the challenges of high-school life after the death of a childhood friend. Rated PG-13 because of mature themes, such as teen drinking, drug content, sexuality and suicide. (PG-13) THE TOOTH FAIRY—Derek Thompson (Dwayne “The

Rock” Johnson) is a ruthless, molar-mutilating minor league hockey player. But after smashing a kid’s dreams, he gets summoned to do one week’s hard labor as a real-life tooth fairy. With the help of the Tooth Fairy Department supervisor Lily (Julie Andrews), some shrinking paste, a little invisibility spray and some cat-away, Thompson learns the tricks of the fairy trade, gaining some much needed humility along the way. (PG)

continuing A SINGLE MAN—A single day in the life of gay British professor George Falconer (Colin Firth) after his longtime companion dies. (R) Flicks ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS: THE SQUEAKQUEL—Everybody’s

favorite trio of rodents—Alvin, Simon and Theodore— return to school to save the struggling music program by winning $25,000 in a music competition. (PG) Edwards 9, Edwards 22 AVATAR—(PG-13) Edwards 9, Edwards 22, Edwards Digital 3-D, Edwards IMAX THE BLIND SIDE—The story of Michael Oher (Quinton Aaron), a homeless African-American high school student who was taken in by Leigh Anne Tuohy (Sandra Bullock) and her wealthy white family. (PG-13) Edwards 22 THE BOOK OF ELI—See Review this page. (R) Edwards 9, Edwards 22 BOONDOCK SAINTS II: ALL SAINTS DAY—The MacManus brothers are back in Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day. (R) Edwards 22

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LISTINGS/SCREEN MOVIE TIMES/SCREEN WEDNESDAY, JAN. 20-TUESDAY, JAN. 26 A SINGLE MAN—

Flicks: W-Th: 5:20, 7:20, 9:15; F-Su: 1:20, 3:20, 5:20, 7:20, 9:15; M-Tu: 5:20, 7:20, 9:15

ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS, THE SQUEAKQUEL— Edwards 9: W-Th: 1:40, 4:35, 7:50, 10:05 Edwards 22: W-Th: 1:15, 3:40, 6, 8:20 AVATAR—

Edwards 9: W-Th: 3:50, 7:10, 10:35 Edwards 22: W-Th: 12:35, 4:15, 7:45, 11:10

DAYBREAKERS—In a future world, where most humans have become vampires and the remaining few are stored in banks and farmed for blood, researcher Edward Dalton is searching for an artificial blood substitute. (R) Edwards 9, Edwards 22 DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE MORGANS?—An uptown New York couple find themselves on the brink of marital meltdown until they witness a murder. (PG13) Edwards 9, Edwards 22

BAD LIEUTENANT: PORT OF CALL NEW ORLEANS— Flicks: F-Su: 2, 4:30, 7, 9:30; M-Tu: 4:30, 7, 9:30

THE IMAGINARIUM OF DOCTOR PARNASSUS—The story of Dr. Parnassus and his magical traveling show, in which visitors are treated to more than entertainment. The good doctor leads viewers to visions of their spirits freed but, not unlike Pandora’s Box, when a door is opened for good, sometimes evil finds a way out as well. (PG-13) Flicks

THE BLIND SIDE—

Edwards 22: W-Th: 12:55, 4:05, 6:50, 9:40

INVICTUS—(PG-13) Edwards 9, Edwards 22

THE BOOK OF ELI—

Edwards 9: W-Th: 1:30, 4:30, 7:30, 10:15 Edwards 22: W-Th: 11:30, 1:20, 2:10, 4:10, 4:55, 7, 7:40, 9:50, 10:25

AVATAR, DIGITAL 3D—

Edwards 22: W-Th: 12:10, 1:10, 3:45, 4:40, 7:20, 8:15, 10:50

AVATAR, IMAX 3D—

Edwards 22: W-Th: 11:50, 3:15, 7, 10:20

BOONDOCK SAINTS II: ALL SAINTS DAY— DAYBREAKERS—

Edwards 22: W-Th: 4:30, 7:20, 10:20

Edwards 9: W-Th: 1:40, 4:50, 7:45, 10:35 Edwards 22: W-Th: 11:40, 2:05, 4:35, 7, 9:25

DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE MORGANS?— Edwards 9: W-Th: 9:45 Edwards 22: W-Th: 11:35, 4:25, 9:45 THE IMAGINARIUM OF DR. PARNASSUS—

INVICTUS—

Edwards 9: W-Th: 10 Edwards 22: W-Th: 1:05, 3:50, 6:40, 9:35

IT’S COMPLICATED—

Edwards 9: W-Th: 1:25, 4:10, 7:10, 9:55 Edwards 22: W-Th: 12:50, 3:30, 6:35, 9:15

LEAP YEAR—

Edwards 22: W-Th: 12:25, 3, 5:20, 7:55, 10:15

THE LOVELY BONES—

Edwards 9: W-Th: 1:20, 4:20, 7:25, 10:20 Edwards 22: W-Th: 11:55, 12:45, 3:05, 3:55, 6:20, 7:15, 9:20, 10:10

NEW MOON— PRECIOUS—

Flicks: W-Th: 4:20, 7, 9:35; F-Su: 12:40, 5:10, 9:35; M-Tu: 5:10, 9:35

Edwards 22: W-Th: 12:40, 3:35, 6:30, 9:30 Flicks: W-Th: 5:05, 7:15, 9:30; F-Su: 3, 7:25; M-Tu: 7:25

PRINCESS AND THE FROG—

TO SAVE A LIFE— SHERLOCK HOLMES—

UP IN THE AIR—

YOUTH IN REVOLT—

THE PRINCESS AND THE FROG—(G) Edwards 9, Edwards 22

SHERLOCK HOLMES—(PG-13) Edwards 9, Edwards 22

Edwards 9: W-Th: 1:10, 4:30, 7:30, 10:10 Edwards 22: W-Th: 11:45, 2:15, 4:45, 7:25, 9:55 Flicks: W-Th: 4:50, 7:05, 9:20; F-Su: 12:30, 2:45, 4:55, 7:10, 9:20; M-Tu: 4:55, 7:10, 9:20

Edwards 9: W-Th: 1:30, 4:20, 7:20, 9:50 Edwards 22: W-Th: 12:30, 2:55, 5:15, 7:35, 10:05

T H E A T E R S Edwards 22 Boise, 208-377-1700, www.regmovies.com; Edwards 9 Boise, 208-338-3821, www.regmovies.com; The Egyptian Theater, 208-345-0454, www.egyptiantheatre.net; The Flicks, 208-342-4222, www.theflicksboise.com; FOR SECOND-RUN MOVIES: Northgate Cinema, Towne Square Reel, Country Club Reel, Nampa Reel, 208-377-2620, www.reeltheatre.com.

Overland Park $1 Cinema, 208-377-3072, www.opcmovies.com.

Movie times listed were correct as of press time.

WWW. B OISEWEEKLY.C O M

PRECIOUS: BASED ON THE NOVEL “PUSH” BY SAPPHIRE—Newcomer Gabby Sidibe stars as Precious Jones, an overweight, illiterate teen who suffers physical and emotional abuse at the hands of her mother and is pregnant—for the second time—by her father.

(R) Flicks

Edwards 22: F: 1:30, 4:15, 7, 9:45

Edwards 22: W-Th: 12:05, 2:30, 5, 7:30, 9:55

THE YOUNG VICTORIA—

THE LOVELY BONES—When 14-year-old Suzie Salmon (Saorise Ronan) is brutally raped and murdered in 1973, her family becomes obsessed with finding her murderer. Looking down from Heaven, Suzie struggles with how to help her family, while also coming to terms with her own death. (PG-13) Edwards 9

Edwards 22: W-Th: 1:50, 7:05

Edwards 9: W-Th: 1:25, 4:15, 7:25, 10:15 Edwards 22: W-Th: 1, 1:55, 4, 4:50, 6:55, 7:50, 10, 10:40

THE SPY NEXT DOOR—

LEAP YEAR—When Anna’s (Amy Adams) long-term boyfriend Jeremy (Adam Scott) announces he’s heading to Ireland instead of proposing, she decides to take matters into her own hands.

(PG) Edwards 22

THE ROAD—Adapted from Cormac McCarthy’s novel about a man and his son treading through post-apocalyptic times.

(R) Edwards 22

Edwards 9: W-Th: 1:45, 4:40, 7:05 Edwards 22: W-Th: 11:50, 2

THE ROAD—

IT’S COMPLICATED—(R) Edwards 9, Edwards 22

THE SPY NEXT DOOR—What do you get when you throw Jackie Chan, Billy Ray Cyrus and George Lopez into a cheesy, kung-fu-spybecomes-an-undercover babysitter comedy? Honestly, we’re too embarrassed to find out. (PG) Edwards 22 THE TWILIGHT SAGA: NEW MOON—(PG-13) Edwards 22 UP IN THE AIR—(R) Edwards 9, Edwards22 THE YOUNG VICTORIA—In one of history’s greatest love stories, this film tells the story of Queen Victoria during the infancy of her reign of England. (PG) Flicks YOUTH IN REVOLT—(R) Edwards 9, Edwards 22 *Editor’s Note: Due to the holiday weekend, movie times for Edwards 9 and Edwards 22 were not available as of press time.

Please contact the theaters for movie times.

BOISEweekly | JANUARY 20–26, 2010 | 23

NEWS/FOOD FOOD/REVIEWS On one plate then the other ... BW sends two critics to one restaurant.

BIG BIRD’S BURGERS Not the MLK march

MAYBE BOISE DOES NEED ONE MORE BURGER JOINT

THIS WEEK’S WINE AND DINE Bella Aquila in Eagle will host a wine dinner featuring California’s Renwood wines paired with six courses, the last of which is a rather decadent combination of a smoked paprika dark chocolate truffle with port.

Dinner is Tuesday, Jan. 26, 6 p.m. Cost is $65 per person plus tax and gratuity. 775 S. Rivershore Lane, Eagle, 208-938-1900, bellaaquilarestaurant.com.

—Rachael Daigle

24 | JANUARY 20–26, 2010 | BOISEweekly

GLENN LANDBERG

Not all restaurants new to Boise are welcomed warmly by Food News. More than one ill-timed chain restaurant has been spurned by Food News’ heavy bias toward local and independent eateries and the lucky ones never rate a mention at all.

But occasionally, one catches my attention. Especially one that smacks of this Food News writer’s favorite out-of-state guilty fast-food pleasure: In-N-Out. A couple of years ago, I got a tip from a government worker that a certain wildly popular California-based burger chain had applied for a building permit in Ada County.

The corporate talking heads denied it at the time, reinforcing the chain’s Golden Statecentric business plan.

Now, it turns out, we need In-N-Out about as much as it needs us. Which means, not at all.

The Utah-based mini-chain Chadder’s quietly opened its first Idaho franchise location a few weeks ago in the mall area snarl, offering the familiar burger-friesshake shtick. Last week, founder Chad Stubbs stopped by Boise to court the media, answering questions about trademark litigation and explaining his burger philosophy in depth. Chadder’s, whose first location was in American River, Utah, was sued by In-N-Out for trademark infringement related specifically to the names of menu items. In other words, don’t ask the counter help at Chadder’s for a Double Double Animal Style. What you want is a Stubby Double the Stubby Way. As for Stubbs’ burger philosophy (which should be well defined since he eats at Chadder’s ever y day), it revolves around high quality meat and fresh food. No ammonia-cleaned burger filler here, folks—I asked.

As for how well Chadder’s stacks up to its most similar competition, I’ve made a couple of trips to the joint in the last few days and I’ll say this: I’ll be in San Francisco next week and now, I’ve knocked a burger pit stop off the top of my list of stuff to do in the Bay Area.

Chadder’s, 535 N. Milwaukee St., Boise, chaddersusa.com.

Ken “Big Bird” Solts, who co-owns Big Bird’s Burgers in Meridian, got If you’d like a mouthful of positive Jesus vibrations crammed down his name from the huge halo of frizzy hair he used to sport—he’s bald as your throat, drive out to Meridian and hang at the year-old Big Bird’s a billiard ball now and actually looks more like a big, friendly Snuffleu- Burgers. If you want a decent burger, save yourself the trip. pagus. He opened the burger joint because he needed a change after This novelty burger joint is indeed a trip. From the outside, it’s an eight years as a chaplain in a maximum security correctional facility. attractive space—for a strip mall—with free wi-fi and a decent patio.

Big Bird says flavor is the most important part of any meal, and he But once inside, glance around for a minute and you will pick up on the isn’t afraid to mix tastes not usually paired together. He likes to share unabashed religious decor. You won’t miss the extra-extra large T-shirts that proclivity with visitors to his restaurant. on the walls declaring “Driven by Faith: In Jesus” or “Wait Training” On my first trip, I braved the peanut butter and bacon burger or the ads for The Pursuit, a church that features a rock band every ($5.19/$7.19 with fries and a drink), a favorite with regular diners, Big Sunday. Subscribe to their Twitter feed and you’ll be graced with an Bird said. Though the burger was stacked with ingredients I love— occasional, “Thank you, Father.” Look at the message on your receipt peanut butter, 1,000 if you are still not island dressing, convinced. pickles, cheddar I have no probcheese and bacon—I lem with a niche was surprised at how restaurant, even a much I disliked the Christian-themed combination. The restaurant. But if thick spread on the your niche is going to beef didn’t work. be Jesus, don’t expect My brother, this reviewer—or sister-in-law and their a medium-sized two grade-schoolers segment of the joined me for round population—to feel two and we surveyed welcome there. And our meal: fish and if your niche is Jesus, chips for me ($8.99), you have no business the blue chiposerving pastrami and tle burger for my sib pupiks. Or jalapenos, ($5.29 plus $2.12 for that matter. Well, for onion rings) a maybe jalapenos. mushroom, swiss and Please, Bird. That bacon burger for my unpeppered slice sib-in-law ($5.29 plus of pastrami grac$2.12 for fries) and ing your pastrami kids’ meals ($3.99) burger ($5.49) barely for the wee ones. registers as a deli Big Bird’s Burgers isn’t afraid of flavor.

The burnt-umber meat. And the burger, colored filets were which biker dude/ BIG BIRD’S BURGERS a bit greasy, but the rock-and-roll evange2031 E. Fairview Ave., fries held their own, list/restaurateur Ken Meridian their battered outsides up to the challenge of repeated “Big Bird” Solts promises is marinated in a secret sauce, 208-885-2510 bigbirdsburgers@yahoo.com dippings in a spicy fry sauce (25 cents extra). Sharing is a pre-made hockey puck of a patty that, in my case, Open Tue.-Thu. 11 a.m.-7 with my sister-in-law, I proffered her two filets and then was a bit too pink for comfort. p.m.; Fri. 11 a.m.-8 p.m.; mowed through half of the ’shroom, bacon and swiss Now the pupiks, those I was more excited about.

Sat. noon-8 p.m.; closed stack. While my peanut butter burger was underdone, The first one was really good. Big Bird’s fried chicken Sun. and Mon. this one was a shade of cooked-beef brown (I should gizzards ($6.99 full order) brought me back to before lobby for a new crayon color). The bite of my bro’s burg’ my erstwhile vegetarian period, when my carnivowas cause for pause: The blend of mild, smoky chipotle and blue cheese rous, organ-eating Jewish grandmother introduced me to such ... was all salty and spicy and tangy. It’s a combination I’m all about. uh, delicacies.

We plunked down a few extra bucks and were soon staring down a I actually called my mother to brag that I had a piping hot bag of pile of gizzards, onion rings, butterflied shrimp and chicken strips. Big gizzards in my lap. But by the third one, the consistency was getting to Bird buys his onion rings and shrimp pre-battered, but he rolls his own me … I’m not sure they were fully cooked either, though it’s sometimes chicken strips and gizzards. Though I generally gack at gizzards, they hard to tell with crunchy gastric mills. Incidentally, Big Bird’s may be weren’t bad, fried to a dark brown, and crispy and chewy, with nary a the only place in the valley to get gizzards, so it is worth a stop for that. drop of extra grease. The long, rectangular white-meat chicken strips A generous side helping of onion rings ($2.12) came with a pretty were coated in a pale yellow, dotted with dark flecks of spice and were good spicy fry sauce (25 cents extra) that became my main course. juicy and enjoyable dipped in honey mustard.

Perhaps I should have gone with some more Christian-sounding Like the PB’n’B, the pervasive Christian theme in the restaurant— menu items, like the blue cheese burger or the big ham burger. But I did “Driven By Faith: In Jesus” T-shirts on the bright yellow walls, stickers get a bite of the peanut butter and bacon burger, and it’s presentation— for the church they attend in the windows, even the receipts with “May a glob of sugary peanut butter, pickles, bacon, cheddar—actually made God Bless You, John 3:16” at the bottom—wasn’t to my liking. But I’d me wish that the lord would swoop down out of heaven and turn that consider turning the other cheek for another bite of that chipotle burger. “burger” into wine. Or anything edible. But alas, he/she did not.

—Amy Atkins says bacon on kittens and warm bacon mittens are a few of her favorite things.

—Nathaniel Hoffman would be fine with eternal life, so long as his peanut butter and his ground beef stay in their own pews.

WWW. B O I S E WE E KLY. C O M

DINING/FOOD Nampa BRICK 29 BISTRO—Chef Dustan Bristol’s casually upscale eatery serves fancy takes on common foods. Asian pork tacos with a side of apple-almond coleslaw? Delicious and tasty.

320 11th Ave. S., Nampa, 208-468-0029. $-$$ SU OM.

COPPER CANYON—If you’re looking for a delicious steak, Copper Canyon in downtown Nampa deserves your attention.

It may be a little off the beaten path, but well worth the trip to enjoy the fine dining in an intimate setting. 113 13th St. S., Nampa, 208-461-0887. $$$.

RES.

WINE SIPPER/FOOD

FLYING M COFFEEGARAGE— First Flying M moves out to Canyon County and makes a home out of a former garage shop. Now that space is chock full of coolness in the form of a coffeeshop, gift shop and allage art and music venue. Food selections to go along with the in-house roasted coffee include pastries made at the in-house bakery. 1314 Second St. S., Nampa, 208-467-5533. $ SU.

best coffeehouse! best giftshop!

GANDOLFO’S DELI—The Georgia based franchise of New York delicatessens provides sandwich fans with New York style hot and cold deli sands, specialty selections and side salads. 16734 N. Marketplace Blvd., Nampa, .

208-466-3354. $ HOUSE OF KIM—Great food, topnotch service and unique ambience makes House of Kim worth a drive to Nampa. The food is fresh, portions are plentiful and the selections aren’t soaked in soy sauce. If that doesn’t get you to gas up the car, maybe this will: HOK offers spicy, spicy, spicy Thai options as well. 1226 1st St. S., Nampa, 208-466-3237. $$ .

A RED WINE FROM SICILY If you’re not familiar with the grape variety Nero d’Avola, you’ll want to be. It is the most widely planted red in Sicily, producing one of that region’s most exciting wines. In the past 10 years, Sicily has experienced a renaissance. With its hot, dry climate, it typically produced wines with over-ripe flavors. However, recent changes in vineyard management have resulted in improved quality. Here are our top picks: 2007 COLOSI ROSSO, $10.99 The wine opens with nicely complex aromas marked by soft caramel, dried fruit, spice and white pepper, mingled with dusty plum and berry fruit. Ripe and round on the palate, it offers enticing cherry and berry fruit that’s smooth and creamy.

Touches of anise and mocha add complexity, and it’s all impeccably balanced by a nice hit of acidity. Serve this versatile wine with everything from pasta to pork, poultry to prime rib.

2007 CUSUMANO NERO D’AVOLA, $13.99 Definitely on the rustic side of the style spectrum, this wine has earthy aromas of cedar, dried cherry and ripe plum. Silky currant and sweet berry flavors are backed by tart cherry that helps keep things in balance. The wine finishes with a hit of plum and strawberry jam. This one wants to accompany richly sauced pastas, roast beef, game or other meaty dishes.

2008 LAMURA NERO D’AVOLA, $9.99 This one opens with bright berry aromas colored by touches of pepper and mushroom. Lightly tart berry mingles with sweet cherry showing good length and great balance. Pair it with creamy cheeses or simple pastas.

—David Kirkpatrick This week’s panel: David Kirkpatrick, Boise Co-op Wine Shop; Cindy Limber, Bardenay; Karen McMillin, Young’s Market; Kevin Settles, Bardenay; Steve Thies, Tastevin; Leslie Young, Boise Co-op Wine Shop

AVERAGE PRICE PER ENTREE: $ —Less than $8 $$ —$8 to $14 $$$ —$14 to $20 $$$$ —Over $20

—Wine & beer —Full bar —Delivery —Take-out —Open late RE S —Reservations

MONA LISA—This atmospheric restaurant specializes in fondue in an intimate setting inspired by a single piece of art. This isn’t just for fine dining—it’s positively decadent. 102 11th Ave. N., Nampa, 208-442-1400. $$$ RES SU.

Garden City 3 GIRLS & JOE GOURMET ON THE GO—Along with fair trade organic coffees from Eagle Coffee Roasting, the place ser ves a soup du jour like Spectacular Split Pea, Zesty Minestrone and Asian Hot and Sour, along with specialty sandwiches ser ved on focaccia made in house. Order crisp gourmet green salads and pastas or breads and rolls made fresh in the 3 Girls Baker y. 305 E. 37th St., Garden City, 208-336-9225. $ OM .

EL GALLO GIRO—The authentic Mexican restaurant named after a white rooster has appetizers, salads and big ‘ol burritos plus famous tacos and tortas.

Seafood orders come with oysters, shrimp and octopus.

The fish tacos are fantastic but the real draw are the sizzling fajitas and any other house specialty. 5285 Glenwood St., Boise, 208-321-0355. $-$$ SU OM. STAGECOACH INN—This Boise institution has been in the same space, with the same decor and the same menu for 45 years. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. And make sure you try the prawns. 3132 Chinden Blvd., Garden City, .

208-342-4161. $$-$$$

needed/recommended —Patio S U —Open on Sunday O M —Online menu —Breakfast —Boise Weekly Card

Boise Weekly Dining Guide offers selective listings of editorial recommendations.

Listings rotate based on available space.

Updates from diligent readers and listed restaurateurs are heartily encouraged.

E-mail to food@boiseweekly.com or fax to 208-342-4733.

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LISTEN LOCALLY. THINK GLOBALLY. BOISEweekly | JANUARY 20–26, 2010 | 25

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MIND, BODY, SPIRIT BW HEALTH & FITNESS @:IIA:7:AA LDG@H=DE Basic Kettlebell Workshop Jan. 30th or 31st. The ultimate fat burning tool. Certified instruction to get your training off to the right start. jbeaumont@idahokettlebells.com

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Stop by 6555 W. Overland Rd near Cole. ;G:: DC"A>C: 8A6HH>;>:9 69H Place your FREE on-line classifieds at www.boiseweekly.com.

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MIND, BODY, SPIRIT SALEM: 2-year-old male yellow Lab. Good with dogs and kids.

Strong, large dog with some obedience. (Kennel 418 - #9440404)

TRIXIE: 11-month-old female shorthair with one green eye and one blue. Sweet and loving.

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PARKER: 7-month-old male Lab mix is houseand crate-trained. Good with older kids, dogs and cats. (Kennel 425 #9431252)

BUTTER: 3-yearold male orange tabby. Good with other animals. Playful and cuddly. (Kennel 45 #9441131)

MYLES: 13-year-old male boxer mix is house-trained and good with dogs. Knows commands. (Kennel 408 - #9119555)

INDIA: 2-year-old female German shorthaired pointer mix. Easy to handle, house-trained. (Kennel 324 - #9393910)

These pets can be adopted at Simply Cats. www.simplycats.org 2833 S. Victory View Way | 208-343-7177

CHARLIE: I am search- NINA: I’ve got a fun ing for a cozy furrever personality and love to home. Room 5 play. Room 5

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FRAEDEE: I may be shy at first, then I become a sweet cuddle-muffin.

BOISEweekly C L A S S I F I E D S | JANUARY 20–26, 2010 | 27

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BW PETS B>C6IJG: E>C8=:G EJEEN Mazi is an adorable dog with a lot of personality, very friendly and loving, does great with children. $150 to a good home please call Cody at 208-407-2205 for more info.

B>HH>C< 9D< The lady of the house is missing!

Please help us find her, she is white with light shades of brown with blue eyes. Her name is Lady, please help us find her. Contact 208-570-4499.

NYT CROSSWORD | 1 Super Bowl XIII and XIV winning player 8 Turkish honchos 13 Some beachwear 19 Love, in a way 20 River at Avignon 21 Posts on a wall, say 23 Penn State campus site 1

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47 President who took office in 1946 48 Wyoming peak 49 D.D.E.’s 1942 command 50 PIN requesters 51 Imminent alumni: Abbr.

52 Thunderbird enthusiast?

33 Unfermented grape juice 34 Subway posting 37 Magazine no.

38 Complete bomb on a test 40 Telephoned 43 “Help yourself!”

19

29

PREGNANT? CONSIDERING ADOPTION? Talk with caring agency specializing in matching Birthmothers with Families nationwide. LIVING EXPENSES PAID. Call 24/7 Abby’s One True Gift Adoptions 866-413-6293.

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We guarantee and stand behind our services. A limited trial period of three months is offered with no contract. Contact us at 208-5627832. >CI:G>DG E6>CI>C< Very reasonable prices! Help with colors, inside wall repair, texture, stain blocking and sealing, kitchen cabinets repainting, brush, roll and spray finish, attention to detail, 25 years of experience, dependable, references avail-

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CROSS WORDS BY MEL ROSEN/EDITED BY WILL SHORTZ

24 With 10-Down, stopover 25 Hyundai model 26 With 4-Down, alternative to free enterprise 27 Paris’s ___ Rivoli 28 With 16-Down, certain plate 29 Canadian gas brand 30 Picking up, as perfume

ACROSS

BW CHILD

able! Call Joe-Bohemia Painting for a free written estimate! 208345-8558 or 208-392-2094.

BW HOME

106 107 108 109

54 ___ particle (electrically neutral meson) 55 With 45-Down, about 291/2 days 57 Calvino who wrote “Mr. Palomar” 59 Sped up, and how!

61 Baltic land: Abbr.

62 Passed without effect 64 Rocket head 65 How something might be washed 67 With 47-Down, Manitoba, Saskatchewan and Alberta 69 Angry with 73 Pro follower 75 “That Girl” girl 77 “Othello” provocateur 78 Dulciana, for one 82 “Gigi” star 83 With 70-Down, skilled lawyer 84 Conductance unit 85 Easter rabbits’ needs?

86 ___ Plaines, Ill. 87 Sucker 89 Tell tales 90 Save for the future 92 Nebraska natives 94 Portray 96 Leader of a musical “gang” 97 Is snug 98 Relaxation site 99 Certain therapy, commonly 100 Covers, as the earth 103 Epicurus and Democritus, philosophically 106 German exclamations 110 With 91-Down, hypertension control option 113 Old car similar to a Malibu 114 With 95-Down, meteorological post 117 Record label of the Cars and the Doors

118 With 104-Down, utility gauge 119 Much Marcel Duchamp work 120 In a smooth manner 121 Bikini blast, briefly 122 Ship out 123 Many perfumes 124 “Darn it!”

125 Craft

DOWN 1 Potter professor Severus ___ 2 Causeway fees 3 These, in Madrid 4 See 26-Across 5 Fruitcake 6 Fish-loving bird 7 Interprets 8 Place for a cup holder 9 Grave robbers 10 See 24-Across 11 Coats with a protective oxide 12 Less flustered 13 Challenge for the wheelchair-bound 14 Chicago Bears coaching legend George 15 Split 16 See 28-Across 17 In round figures 18 Koran chapter 22 Close one 31 Boo-boo 32 Stomach sound 35 Gel made from seaweed 36 “___ ’er there!”

39 Pizza topping 41 Reply in “The Little Red Hen” 42 Annoying buzzer 43 Woman’s name meaning “beautiful” 44 Pin holders 45 See 55-Across 46 Jannings of “The Last Command” 47 See 67-Across 48 The Belvedere ___ (Vatican sculpture)

94 They might have springs 95 See 114-Across 98 Most urgent 101 Chicago Bears coaching legend Mike 102 Crabbed 104 See 118-Across 105 Festoons 107 Action film staple 108 Old “Tonight Show” starter 109 Some Madrileñas: Abbr.

110 These, in Oise 111 Ending with over or cover 112 Baseball great who’s Bonds’s godfather 115 Organic compound 116 Advocate: Abbr.

51 “McSorley’s Bar” artist 53 The loop it’s best to be out of 56 Nogales “now” 58 “That’s ___!”

59 Monastery resident 60 Unnerving, perhaps 62 ___ Bobbin of the Oz books 63 “Aunt ___ Cope Book” 66 Lustful 68 Tending to wash out 70 See 83-Across 71 “From the top!”

72 Landlord’s sign 74 Tasted, biblically 76 ___ to one’s neck 78 Trans-Siberian Railroad stop 79 -stat starter 80 Nod off 81 Ancient Rome’s port 83 “The jeans that built America” 86 Uninhabited 88 Post- opposite 91 See 110-Across 93 Paul Anka or Dan Aykroyd, by birth L A S T

E N Y A M O O R T R U M D R Y G T S T R A I R A N R O C K T E S S P E N T

P I L A R

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Go to www.boiseweekly. com and look under odds and ends for the answers to this week’s puzzle. And don’t think of it as cheating. Think of it more as simply double-checking your answers.

W E E K ’ S

O P E C V E T O P E T H P L E R I S I O C E L N G E E T E S E T H S C I L A O H M A N A L I T I C O A E T H F E N C O O S H O E S T Q T H U G A R I A N B L A N D U E B Y C B U C K A E M A I R S T D

B L A S E T E S T S C O R E K E E L S

A N S W E R S

A S S M N O P Y E R S E D S B R I T U S D O A N T I S R A T E R B I S O E S T D E S I N G B N T A S E T H S A U T H B R O B I E A V

C A L L D I B S

O B R A X I O M O N G I E G E S Y I E T H E N I J O U T C U T H S R T A A S K E T H T T A W A N S O H O A R S U D G E T H G G N A T E C R E T S L A G N O V E L I G A D E S T T O O K E E N V Y

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NOTICES BW NOTICES Get Dish - FREE Installation –$19.99/mo. HBO & Showtime FREE-Over 50 HD Channels FREE Lowest Prices – No Equipment to Buy! Call Now for full Details- 1-877-238-8413.

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MUSIC BW MUSICAL INSTRUCTION/OTHER Bag Pipe Lessons. Contact John at 331-5675.

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ADD@>C< ;DG 9GJBB:G Boise band is looking for a drummer to complete their ensemble. Must make practice and have your own equipment. If interested please contact me, Trevor at 409-9231.

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HIGH SCHOOL DIPLOMA! Fast, Affordable & Accredited. FREE Brochure. Call NOW! 1-800-532-6546 Ext. 97 http://www. continentalacademy.com >96=D 6FJ6G>JB 8AJ7 The Idaho Aquarium Club Launched this week check it out ay http://idahoaquariumclub.com @>AGDN @D;;:: @A6I8= Warhawk Air Museum is excited to announce the monthly “Kilroy was Here” coffee klatch. 1st Tuesday of every month. 10-11:30am. Warhawk Air Museum, 201 Municipal Dr, Nampa.

HDN 86C9A:H 6C9 8J7:H I am the local Candle consultant for ‘For Every Home’, our company sells eco-friendly soy based candles, cubes and we also have a line of odor eliminator products.

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1-877-892-2642. @>G6 769O>8 68GNA>8 8A6HH:H Kira Badzic holds acrylic classes at Quality Art Inc in Boise for $20/ class. Students receive 40% off all products they would like to purchase the day of class. Please contact Quality Art Inc at 6720530 for more information.

BW LOST ADHI EG:H8G>EI>DC <A6HH:H ln zippered black case between Record Exchange and The Modern.

Dec. 3rd. 336-5482.

ADHI L:>B6G6C:G Went missing early evening Dec 27th from Mace Rd. (East of Eagle Island state park, by Two Rivers subdivision) No collar. 2 yr. old neutered male, all light grey in color, rear leg scarred up from past knee surgeries, very friendly loved very much! Microchip #0006-AB99-D9 registered at Intermountain Pet Hospital. Please call Dan 407-5144 or Doniel 860-3190 if found.

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BW PERSONALS 7GDLH:"EDHI"8DCC:8I Connect with these and many more profiles on BW Love! www.boiseweekly.com

WOMEN SEEKING MEN CHERRY BOMB I’m 21 and I like going to bars and hanging out, listening to music, a good conversation and living life.

I guess I’m looking for someone with the same interests that’s around my age. gabraella, 21, #101102.

ECLECTIC SWEETHEART SEEKING CO-ADVENTURER I find magic in singing softly while looking up at the stars. Winter is a great time to spend outdoors and I am hoping to meet someone special who would like to join me in planning adventures and making memories. Satorii, 29, #101093.

YOUR 4TH SHOT OF ESPRESSO I’m what would happen if Oprah got it on with Stephen Hawking & had South Park babies. Love talking about politics, religion, philosophy, science, paradigm shifts... nerdy stuff like that. I’d like to meet fellow nerds & build on my nerdome. ShannonYouGiveGoodQuoteMorgan, 29, #101082.

MEN SEEKING WOMEN ENCOUNTERS SOUGHT, MAYBE WITH YOU...

I’m easy going, but love to explore and have new experiences. Mostly I am looking for someone I can really connect with that respects my autonomy. blueye, 39, #101091.

LAIDBACK, HAPPY, SWEET, HELPLESS ROMANTIC I prefer the simple things in life, and the finer things too. I like long walks and I always stop to smell the flowers. Another mans trash is my treasure. pestorpet? Between the lines there is always a gray area. mcsquared, 22, #101087.

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BW KICKS 7JBH >C L=::A8=6>GH They are lying they are not disabled. I saw them run! Keep your money!!! Especially lady in yellow coat.

BW PEN PALS Pen Pals complimentary ads for our incarcerated friends are run on a space-available basis and may be edited for content. Readers are encouraged to use caution and discretion when communicating with Pen Pals, whose backgrounds are not checked prior to publication. Boise Weekly accepts no responsibility for any relationships that may arise from contacting these inmates.

48 yr. old M interested in music.

Plan on going back to college.

Seeks pen pal for possible visits.

Send photo’s and I’ll do the same.

M. McCoy #33937 I.S.C.I. 14C22A PO box 14 Boise, ID 83707.

Hello, I’m ISO ladies to be pen pal/ friends. So as not to feel so far from the real world. 34 yrs. old, 5’10”, 175 lbs., brown shoulder length hair and hazel eyes. Will answer all. Benjamin R. Kline #49832 16A-59B I.S.C.I. PO Box 14 Boise, ID 83707.

My name is Chad Clarke. I’m almost 25 yrs. old, 5’10”, 195 lbs., brown hair and hazel eyes. Seeking friendship & possible relationship. I am very outgoing, love the outdoors, very open minded & family oriented. Chad Clarke #72394 Unit 16 I.S.C.I. PO Box 14 Boise, ID 83707.

CONNECTION SECTION - ADULT

CONNECTION SECTION BW ADULT ENTERTAINMENT BUYER BEWARE Whenever doing business by telephone or email proceed with caution when cash or credit is required in advance of services.

Come Where Single Play. Call 208287-0343 FREE w/code 5500 Call 800-210-1010.

HOT GUYS! HOT CHAT! HOT FUN! Call 208-489-2162 or 800-777-8000. FREE w/ code 2982.

MEET HOT LOCAL GUYS Browse & Respond FREE! 208-472-2200, Code 5724. Visit MegaMates. com, 18+.

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BOISEweekly C L A S S I F I E D S | JANUARY 20–26, 2010 | 29

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY ARIES (March 21-April 19): Philosopher David Pearce is committed to the abolition of suffering. While he acknowledges we’ve got a long way to go before accomplishing that goal, he believes it’s possible with the help of technology. (More at bit. ly/8oTsCV.) More than two millennia ago, Buddha also articulated a vision for the end of suffering.

His methods revolve around psychological and spiritual work.

In light of your current astrological omens, Aries, I think it’s an excellent time to contribute to this noble enterprise. Your level of suffering is rather low these days, which could give you a natural boost if you set in motion some long-term strategies for reducing the pain that you experience and the pain that you cause.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): I don’t mean to sound melodramatic, and I certainly don’t want to encourage you to do something foolish, but if you’ve been pondering the possibility of storming the castle, this would be a good time to do so. What exactly am I implying? Well, anything that involves a brave effort to fight your way into the command center of the empire, or a heroic attempt to take back the sanctuary you were exiled from, or a playful adventure in which you work your way into the heart of the king or queen.

The U.S. Department of Energy (DOE) Announces a Public Hearing on the Draft Tank Closure and Waste Management Environmental Impact Statement for the Hanford Site, Richland, Washington February 2, 2010 Owyhee Plaza Hotel 1109 Main Street Boise, Idaho Registration for the hearing will begin at 6 p.m. with a 1-hour Open House, during which the public may register to give oral comments, view materials, and speak informally with DOE project personnel and Washington State Department of Ecology (Ecology) staff, followed by brief presentations by DOE and Ecology at 7 p.m. After the presentations, hearing participants will be invited to provide their comments on the draft environmental impact statement (EIS), which will be recorded by a court reporter. The hearing is scheduled to end at 10 p.m.

Written comments may also be submitted at the hearing or via the following: U.S. MAIL: Mary Beth Burandt, NEPA Document Manager, U.S. Department of Energy, Office of River Protection, Attn: TC & WM EIS, P.O. Box 1178, Richland, WA 99352 TOLL-FREE FAX: 1-888-785-2865 EMAIL: TC&WMEIS@saic.com The comment period extends through March 19, 2010. Comments received after the close of the comment period will be considered to the extent practicable. For more information on the EIS, visit http://www.hanford.gov/orp (click on “Tank Closure & WM EIS Info”).

If you require special accommodations, please call 1-888-829-6347 (toll free) prior to the hearing.

30 | JANUARY 20–26, 2010 | BOISEweekly

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): “Let us not underestimate the privileges of the mediocre,” wrote Friedrich Nietzsche. “Life becomes harder and harder as it approaches the heights— the coldness increases, the responsibility increases.” I bring these thoughts to your attention, Gemini, because in the next two months you’ll be in a prime position to renounce some of the privileges of your laziness. I’m not saying that your lackadaisical attitudes are any worse than anyone else’s, but there come times when he or she has a chance to outgrow those lackadaisical attitudes to reach a level that’s more demanding and more rewarding.

This will be one of those times.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): According to a poll by the Pew Forum on Religion and Public Life, there are as many people who give credence to astrology as call themselves Catholic. Believers in reincarnation are another sizable minority; their numbers equal those who put their faith in the Pope. Based on this, we can conclude that at least some supposedly woo-woo notions are no longer just for woo-woo-ers.

You can’t be considered a New Age weirdo if you’re receptive to the possibility that the world is mysterious. That’s good news for you Cancerians. According to my analysis, your belief system is ready to crack open and allow a surge of new data to rush in.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): How are your wooing skills? Have you enhanced your seductiveness in any way during the last few months? Have you been working on boosting your ability to attract the bounty you need? I’m not just speaking about your power to corral love and sex and tenderness and thrills. I’m referring to the bigger project of enticing all the resources that would be helpful as you pursue your quest to become the best and brightest version of yourself. The coming weeks will be an excellent time to ramp up your efforts.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): “We should feel excited about the problems we confront and our ability to deal with them,” said philosopher Robert Anton Wilson.

“Solving problems is one of the highest and most sensual of all our brain functions.” I wholeheartedly agree with him, which is why I expect that in the coming weeks you will be getting even smarter.

The riddles you’ll be presented with will be especially sexy; the shifts in perspective you’ll be invited to initiate will give your imagination the equivalent of a deep-tissue massage.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): “Dear Rob: I’ve been listening to your audio messages on my laptop in my bedroom. And I’ve noticed a curious thing: My cat goes NUTS trying to get to you. She never shows any interest in the other videos and music I play. But when your voice comes on, she does everything she can to try to get into my computer, to find the source of your voice. What’s going on? —Libralicious.” Dear Libralicious: Maybe it’s because in all versions of my recent Libra horoscopes, I’ve been putting subliminal messages designed to draw out and energize your tribe’s inner feline. It’s that time in your cycle when you have a mandate to be graceful and inscrutable and sleek.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): This would be an excellent time for you to do a lot less of everything.

You’re entering a phase when you can actually help your long-term goals by being less ambitious.

The point is not to give up your drive to succeed, but rather just put it to sleep for a while. Let it recharge. Allow it to draw energy from the deeper psychic sources that it tends to get cut off from when it’s enmeshed in the frenzy of the daily rhythm. Do you have the courage to not work so much, not try so hard, and not push so relentlessly?

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Cartoon character Homer Simpson is on record as saying that whenever he learns something new, it pushes some old stuff out of his brain. For example, when he took a course in

home winemaking, he forgot how to drive. But I don’t see this being a problem for you as you enter the High-Intensity Educational Season, a time when your capacity to find and absorb new teachings will be at a peak. If you push hard to learn new lessons, you will certainly not cause the expulsion of old lessons. On the contrary, you’ll dramatically enhance the power and brightness of what you’ve already learned.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Take what you really need, Capricorn, but don’t take what you just sort of want. That’s my advice to you. Haggle with life, yes, but insist only on the specific essentials and forgo irrelevant goodies. A similar principle applies as you seek the information you crave: Formulate precise questions that will win you the exact revelations that are necessary to help your cause and that won’t fill your beautiful head up with useless data.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): One of the Jonas Brothers got married last month. Up until then, 22-year old Kevin Jonas was a virgin, having pledged himself to abstinence until his wedding day.

At Huffingtonpost.com, humorist Andy Borowitz reported that when Jonas and his bride returned from their honeymoon, he had some shocking news. “To be honest, sex was not worth the wait,” Borowitz quoted Jonas as saying.

“After we did it, I was kind of like, that’s it?” I haven’t been able to verify that Jonas actually said what Borowitz claims, but if it’s true, I must protest. How could Jonas reach such a conclusion based on so little experience?

Wouldn’t it be wise to consider that over time he might uncover secrets and plumb mysteries that are unknown to him in his unripe state? Learn from his apparent mistake, Aquarius. In the coming weeks, cultivate a humble, innocent, curious attitude not just about sex, but about everything.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): I have a Piscean friend who does modern-day cave paintings. She hikes out to caverns and abandoned mines, where she creates murals on stony walls. She shows us photos of her work, but otherwise keeps it secret. She says it’s a pleasurable spiritual practice to offer these beautiful mysteries as a gift to the earth, without any expectation of recognition or money. I don’t normally recommend such behavior for Pisceans; in general, I believe you should err of the side of being somewhat self-promotional to compensate for your self-deprecating tendencies. But I do suggest that you try it in the coming weeks. I think you’ll conjure up an epiphany or two if you offer life your favors without worrying about whether they’ll be returned.

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