Boise Weekly Vol. 20 Issue 27 by Boise Weekly

LOCAL, INDEPENDENT NEWS, OPINION, ARTS AND ENTERTAINMENT WWW.BOISEWEEKLY.COM VOLUME 20, ISSUE 27 DECEMBER 28, 2011 – JANUARY 3, 2012

TAK EE E ON E! FEATURE 8

SPUDS AND DUDS A look at 2011’s political highs and lows PICKS 17

PARTY TIME Where to go for New Year’s Eve ARTS 24

CIRQUE DU MJ Cirque du Soleil returns with Immortal SCREEN 25

BRACKET BUSTING BLOCKBUSTERS Ranking the best ﬁlms of 2011

“Viscous wads of sputum, hacked up by a dying breed that insists on taking it all with them when they go.”

COPE 6

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BW STAFF PUBLISHER: Sally Freeman Sally@boiseweekly.com Office Manager: Shea Sutton Shea@boiseweekly.com EDITORIAL Editor: Rachael Daigle Rachael@boiseweekly.com Features Editor: Deanna Darr Deanna@boiseweekly.com Arts & Entertainment Editor: Tara Morgan Tara@boiseweekly.com News Editor: George Prentice George@boiseweekly.com New Media Czar: Josh Gross Josh@boiseweekly.com Copy Datatante: Sheree Whiteley Sheree@boiseweekly.com Reporters: Andrew Crisp Andrew@boiseweekly.com Stephen Foster Stephen@boiseweekly.com Listings: calendar@boiseweekly.com Copy Editor: Jay Vail Contributing Writers: Amy Atkins, Bill Cope, Guy Hand, David Kirkpatrick, Ted Rall ADVERTISING Advertising Director: Lisa Ware Lisa@boiseweekly.com Account Executives: Sabra Brue, Sabra@boiseweekly.com Jessi Strong, Jessi@boiseweekly.com Doug Taylor, Doug@boiseweekly.com Nick Thompson, Nick@boiseweekly.com Jill Weigel, Jill@boiseweekly.com CLASSIFIED SALES Classifieds@boiseweekly.com CREATIVE Art Director: Leila Ramella-Rader Leila@boiseweekly.com Graphic Designers: Jen Grable, Jen@boiseweekly.com Adam Rosenlund, Adam@boiseweekly.com Contributing Artists: Derf, Guy Hand, Jeremy Lanningham, Laurie Pearman, E.J. Pettinger, Ted Rall, Erin Ruiz, Tom Tomorrow CIRCULATION Shea Sutton Shea@boiseweekly.com Apply to Shea Sutton to be a BW driver. Man About Town: Stan Jackson Stan@boiseweekly.com Distribution: Tim Anders, Mike Baker, Andrew Cambell, Tim Green, Jennifer Hawkins, Stan Jackson, Barbara Kemp, Michael Kilburn, Lars Lamb, Brian Murry, Amanda Noe, Northstar Cycle Couriers, Steve Pallsen, Patty Wade, Jill Weigel Boise Weekly prints 30,000 copies every Wednesday and is available free of charge at more than 750 locations, limited to one copy per reader. Additional copies of the current issue of Boise Weekly may be purchased for $1, payable in advance. No person may, without permission of the publisher, take more than one copy of each issue. SUBSCRIPTIONS: 4 months-$40, 6 months-$50, 12 months-$95, Life-$1,000. ISSN 1944-6314 (print) ISSN 1944-6322 (online) Boise Weekly is owned and operated by Bar Bar Inc., an Idaho corporation. TO CONTACT US: Boise Weekly’s office is located at 523 Broad St., Boise, ID 83702 Phone: 208-344-2055 Fax: 208-342-4733 E-mail: info@boiseweekly.com www.boiseweekly.com Address editorial, business and production correspondence to: Boise Weekly, P.O. Box 1657, Boise, ID 83701

NOTE PAST, PRESENT AND FUTURE—MINUS THE GHOSTS Welcome to the final edition of 2011. These are the moments when it feels like the pressure is really on to say something profound in this space. To reflect on the stuff so good other media outlets stole it without crediting us (feral pigs, ahem ... KTVB), the stuff we got wrong (le sigh, GBAD’s tax status), the stuff so good we plan to continue our reporting on it in 2012 (the use of banned drugs in Idaho’s dairy herds), and the stuff so ridiculous it put the “alt” in “alt newsweekly” (pick one: our comic on China’s Idaho land grab or last week’s holiday mug shots). These are the moments when it seems appropriate to look to the future and tell you what you can expect from Boise Weekly in 2012, but to be honest, we’re really not that big on planning. What we do have figured out is what you can expect from the first few issues of the year. Next week is the 10th annual Fiction 101 contest, the result of which will be a big, fat cash prize for one talented writer and slightly smaller cash prizes for several runners-up. And because writers must not only be good at writing but must also be good at delivering public readings these days, the winners of Fiction 101 will read their pieces First Thursday, Jan. 5, at 7 p.m. at Rediscovered Bookshop. Also opening up 2012 editorially is a piece from Carissa Wolf about the benefits and criticisms of a therapeutic community at one Idaho women’s prison. Here in the present, in this week’s issue, we’re revisiting the last 12 months in local politics. It’s our annual Spuds and Duds issue, the time every year when we take a few minutes to tell our elected officials just how we really feel about the way they’re doing their jobs. And since we can’t cover it all, and I’m sure you have a few Spuds or Duds you’d like to bestow upon a deserving public servant, send me a letter to the editor with your suggestions or log on to boiseweekly.com and leave a comment at the end of Bill Cope’s Spuds and Duds. And have a happy new year. —Rachael Daigle

COVER ARTIST ARTIST: Grant Olsen TITLE: Ghosts: The Birth of Love MEDIUM: Wool

The entire contents and design of Boise Weekly are ©2011 by Bar Bar, Inc. EDITORIAL DEADLINE: Thursday at noon before publication date. SALES DEADLINE: Thursday at 3 p.m. before publication date. Deadlines may shift at the discretion of the publisher.

ARTIST STATEMENT: This is part of a series that is on display in the group show at Basement Gallery. Thank you for looking, I’m on the phone with you.

Boise Weekly was founded in 1992 by Andy and Debi Hedden-Nicely. Larry Ragan had a lot to do with it too. BOISE WEEKLY IS AN INDEPENDENTLY OWNED AND OPERATED NEWSPAPER.

SUBMIT

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Boise Weekly pays $150 for published covers. One stipulation of publication is that the piece must be donated to BW’s annual charity art auction in November. Proceeds from the auction are reinvested in the local arts community through a series of private grants for which all artists are eligible to apply. To submit your artwork for BW’s cover, bring it to BWHQ at 523 Broad St. All mediums are accepted. Thirty days from your submission date, your work will be ready for pick up if it’s not chosen to be featured on the cover. Work not picked up within six weeks of submission will be discarded.

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WWW.BOISEWEEKLY.COM What you missed this week in the digital world.

INSIDE

THE GIFT OF HILLFOLK Hey, local music junkie: Have you downloaded the free special expanded edition of Hillfolk Noir’s album Attic Reels, Protests and Nervous Breakdowns yet? Better get to it. Deets at Cobweb.

BW’S IN THE KITCHEN WITH ... The second installment of BW’s new food series, “In the Kitchen With ...” is live at Cobweb. Owner Lorena Jimenez talks about mistaking wasabi for avocado and cooking for God.

THIS IS A TEST If the zombie apocalypse happens anytime soon, Idaho could be screwed. This from Citydesk: “Boise joined 50 other cities at risk for elimination from the Cities Readiness Initiative. The initiative supports the ability to rapidly distribute and administer vaccines and medications during emergencies.”

SERIOUS ABOUT FUNNY

Berryhill’s Restaurant · Bar Reservations at 387.3553 www.johnberryhillrestaurants.com

( YH

Liquid is getting serious about comedy. Just how serious? Read our interview with owner Jeremy Aevermann to ﬁnd out.

EDITOR’S NOTE

BILL COPE

TED RALL

FEATURE Spuds and Duds

BW PICKS

FIND

8 DAYS OUT

SUDOKU

NOISE Getting reacquainted with Idaho’s musical history 21 MUSIC GUIDE

ARTS Cirque du Soleil honors the King of Pop with Immortal

SCREEN Your 2011 movie bracket 25 CLASSIFIEDS

NYT CROSSWORD

FREEWILL ASTROLOGY

1HZ <HDU¶V 1HZ <HDU¶V

$41 dinner buffet

menu on-line

then ROCK iN the NEW YEAR

john berryhill & friends greg martinez & kyle love with

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OPINION/BILL COPE

THE FLUTTER; ISSUE 10 A timely message from your Rajah Before we proceed on to the Rajah’s timely message, I (that being the Bill Cope who writes a column for Boise Weekly and not the Bill Cope who is the acting Rajah of the Society For Making People Better) would like to address those nice people who wrote me nice letters (or nice e-letters) over the course of 2011 and received nothing back for their efforts. Particularly to those who contacted me expressing a wish to meet over coffee and discuss things, please believe me when I say my unresponsiveness has nothing to do with you. I’m pretty sure I can guess the sort of things you want to discuss. You wouldn’t be trying to get hold of me if you wanted to talk about your collection of oddly shaped potatoes, right? No, I imagine that you imagine I might be a good partner in a conversation about some weighty subject. Politics, perhaps. Or religion. Well, my nice friends, I must tell you I no longer have any desire to discuss stuff, over coffee or under any other circumstances. I am totally discussion-ed out. After a lifetime of talking things over with I-can’teven-guess-how-many different people, I feel like I have said all I want to say and heard all I want to hear. What’s more, I know all the people my normal routine will allow me to know at this time. If I let you into my life, I’ll have to kick another acquaintance out. Perhaps a brother or an old school chum. See what I mean? But listen, I’ll put you on my back-up list should a friend or a family member die or for any other reason become unavailable. However, there are a couple of letters I should not have ignored. One came from a woman who wondered why I would give a column dealing with Tom Luna’s reforms the title “Ed Rush.” Her name is Mrs. Rush and she’s married to a fellow named Ed. So sorry, Mrs. Rush, if I offended. I have a tendency to be overly punny with my titles. My intention was to imply that Luna’s reforms to education (hence, the abbreviation “Ed.”) were being “rushed” through the Legislature, all while alluding to a phenomenon known to old hippies as a “head rush.” Believe me, I did not mean to malign your husband, whom I’ve never met but I’m sure is a ﬁne man. I also heard from a Jeb Card, a “visiting scholar” at the Center for Archeological Investigations at a university in Illinois. He thanked me for providing him material for his “Cthulhu Cthursday” blog. What he referred to actually came from another blog, where Mulletboy told of his adventures in relaying the discovery of an ancient and monstrous conspiracy to Glenn Beck. I have no response to Card, other than to say that I would love to have coffee with a visiting scholar with whom I could discuss Cthulhu. And if I have to, I am willing to

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drop a brother or an old school chum from my routine to make the time. Now, on to the Rajah’s timely message. Your Rajah hoists a tankard of Festivus nog and delivers onto you a message of hope this holiday season: My Dearest SFMPBers, Quite the year, quite the year, yes? And not much evidence that people are getting better, is there? In fact, there is every indication that our arch nemesis, the noxious and crappy Society For Making People Worse, has turned up its activities to full boil. Now, I promise, your Rajah has no intention of letting this last Flutter of the year be anything but merry and joyishy, perfectly in tune with the spirit of the season. Yet to those members who may be oozeful with dread over the spewings from the Mordor sector of American politics, I offer a quick bit of reassurance. You see, I see this frantic gnashing of gums currently occupying the negative axis of the human community—namely within these United States of America and even more namely within the cadaverous remains of the Republican Party—as the continuing convulsions of a species of primates who refuse to absorb the reality that they can no longer consider themselves superior beings. Which is precisely the threat our ﬁne president, Barack Obama, presents these malcontents, that not only is there a man leading our nation who is unlike them in every way, but that he is so obviously a superlative example of everything they are not. They cannot accept what is before their eyes without also accepting that they are, at best, average fruits from average family trees, none of whom will ever produce any individual capable of reaching any grandeur beyond being named Employee of the Month at a discount outlet or the political equivalent: to become a GOP presidential candidate. In other words, we might look at Newt Gingrich, Mitt Romney ... Donald Trump, for sure ... as viscous wads of sputum, hacked up by a dying breed that insists on taking it all with them when they go. But we know that’s impossible, don’t we? We know you can’t take it with you, don’t we? Does this ring a bell? ... “Tis easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than a 1 Percenter to get into Nirvana.” So in time, all the sputum wads—Newt, Mitt, The Donald—will slide back down the esophagus of history and be forgotten. Or converted into intestinal gas and blown out history’s backside and be forgotten. Or something. There now, don’t you feel reassured? One last musing from your Rajah: “People are like ginger bread men—we are all the same, except for the ones that come out different.” WWW. B O I S E WE E KLY. C O M

TED RALL/OPINION

THE WAR OF CHRISTMAS Time to take religion out of the calendar We are a secular nation. We enjoy the right to exercise any religion—or none whatsoever. So why is Christmas a federal holiday? The United States has no national religion. Yet Christians get special consideration. They also get the quasi-Christian holiday of Thanksgiving. Financial markets are closed on both of those, plus Good Friday. Devotees of other faiths must ask their employers for time off. Jews aren’t supposed to work on Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, the first and second days of Sukkot, Shemini Atzeret, Simchat Torah, Shavu’ot, or the first, second, seventh and eighth days of Passover. They have to take up to 13 days off from work, more than most employers offer. The message to Jews and other non-Christians is plain: you are second-class citizens. Separation of church and state is a fraud. You might think that the government’s official embrace of Christmas is a cultural relic of America’s Puritan past. But you’d be mistaken. For nearly 100 years, Christmas was not on the calendar of federal holidays. On Dec. 25, 1789, the first Christmas under the new U.S. Constitution, Congress was in session. Ulysses Grant made it a federal holiday in 1870. Right-wing commentators such as Bill O’Reilly have accused liberals of waging a “war on Christmas.” The Christian Right’s “war on Christmas” meme would be laughable if it didn’t work; they’re the majority, but somehow they’re victims. The smallest concession to common decency and sensitivity—e.g. not displaying nativity scenes on government property—is portrayed as an attack on innocent Christians. Not subtle. But clever: The dominant majority gets to claim victimhood. Anything short of

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total domination isn’t good enough. This has nothing to do with suppressing Christianity. I am touched when a person of faith says that he or she is praying for me or wishes me a “Merry Christmas.” Individual and/or private displays of religiosity are fine. Official expressions of a specific religion, however, are disgusting and inherently repressive. Our currency should not read “In God We Trust.” Courts should not use Bibles to swear in witnesses. Government officials and employees who wear their Christianity on their sleeves reinforce the majority and subjugate the minority. When’s the last time a TSA screener wished you a blessed Ramadan? A country should live up to its stated principles. Everyone who wants to honor Christmas, whether in its religious or its consumerist contexts, is free to do so. Go to midnight mass. Festoon your roof with plastic Santas, but the government shouldn’t make it easier on Christians to celebrate one of their religious holidays than it does members of other faiths. There are only two fair courses of action: First, remove Christmas from the list of federal holidays, replacing it with something secular. Alternatively, add holidays for other religions. Of course, this could get complicated. How many holidays for each religion? Some faiths are more festive than others. How far down the list of major American religions do we go? The Zoroastrian holiday of Navruz? After every sect gets its day, there might not be a single day left in the year to work. I say: the more days off, the merrier, er ... better. *Editor’s note: This column was originally published on Dec. 29, 2010.

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DUDS

2011

LOOKING BACK ON THE HIGHS AND LOWS OF THE YEAR THAT WAS BILL COPE

ILLUSTRATIONS BY ADAM ROSENLUND

Late in August, young Kaytlyn Harris of Coeur d’Alene waited at the Kootenai County fairgrounds for her father to arrive with her 4-H pig. Since April, Harris had been preparing Thunder (the pig) for show, and in that interval, Thunder had blossomed from 50 pounds to 300 pounds. It is unclear how Thunder managed to free himself from the constraints meant to keep him in the back of Mr. Harris’ truck for the trip to the fairgrounds, but that is indeed what Thunder managed to do. Once free, he made the unfortunate decision to bail out—300 pounds of pig hit the pavement at a speed faster than all but the very brightest swine would comprehend. He survived the jump, but his leg was broken, making him worthless as a show pig. Poor Thunder did not survive the ensuing trip to the butcher. Kaytlyn was devastated, reported the Coeur d’Alene Press. Months of labor and love, hopes and dreams, poop-scooping and slopping the hog, all come to naught. And all because Thunder thought he could fly. You may wonder why I chose the story of Thunder and Kaytlyn for 2011’s Dud of the Year award, especially when this year has been so ripe with raw Dud material. After all, in subsequent years, few people will remember how Thunder met his tragic end, while the effects of Tom Luna’s education reforms, for instance, will linger on like scar tissue. Yet there is something about the sad tale of Thunder that seemed to me to be an apt allegory for so much of what has been going on in Idaho politics since January. So much bloated energy, so many wasted words, so great an effort to turn the trivial into something meaningful ... and then, that big splat! when the blubber hits the road. Sen. Mike Crapo and the Gang of Six solve the deficit problem? ... splat! Nullification? ... splat! The campaign to win parents over to Luna’s reforms? ... splat! Perhaps in another year, I could convince my bosses at BW to convert the Spuds and Duds into the “Annual Thunder the Pig Memorial Issue.” Can’t you see it now? The good items could be given a “Fly on, Pig” designation—the visual representation being a cute little porker with angelic wings—while the bad things get a vomity mess denoting … you guessed it ... splat! Until then, here are the rest of 2011’s Spuds and Duds.

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SHOVING THEIR MONEY AROUND THE SCHEME “I’ve seen good, outstanding teachers and support staff continually demoralized by policies set at our state leadership level.” —Dennis Burt of Coeur d’Alene, speaking at the public hearings on the education reforms. When considering the monumental Dud—possibly the largest, most comprehensive Dud ever awarded by this paper in the decade we have been awarding Duds—that goes to Superintendent of Public Instruction Tom Luna’s reforms package, it is necessary to illustrate the scope of the Dud by disconnecting the two components. As to the reforms, it’s simple: They are a cold mercenary’s knife into the back of Idaho students, parents, teachers and all those who have put their faith in the transcendent potential of public education. Fewer teachers and more electronics? Ah, yes, let us move away from the tutorstudent relationship that has served humanity splendidly from Socrates forward and replace it with a gadget that was invented 20 years ago. Merit pay for the remaining classroom educators? Great idea, as long as you’re one of the teachers willing to be the administration’s pet. Forcing virtual classes on students? Does anyone really think mediocre or at-risk students are going to pay more attention to, or get more out of, an online physics program than they do to Mr. Bly the science guy down in Room 222? No, citizens, the only thing these reforms are good for is to reform your tax dollars into corporate proﬁts.

THE SCHEMER “If after four years of his leadership, our school system is broken, why should any parent, student or voter put the slightest faith in any idea proffered by the architect of such failure?” —Idaho Democratic Party statement questioning why Tom Luna would run for re-election by boasting what a good job he had done, then promote his reform plan just weeks later on the grounds of how bad things are. Even if we swallow Luna’s denial that he didn’t bring his reform ideas home with him from President George W. Bush’s Education Department—in which he worked under people who now are leading the charge to privatize public schools and skim billions of tax dollars from state treasuries—don’t we still have to question why a man convinced he’d come up with such a brilliant idea to radically reform education wouldn’t have campaigned on that brilliant idea when he was running for re-election? Could the answer be nothing more complicated than Luna knew it would go over like a lead balloon?

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“It’s Time to Put Our Kids First! (Ahead of Union Bosses)” —From on one of Frank VanderSloot’s full-page ads promoting the education reforms. “We Must Prepare Our Children for Their Future, Not Our Past.” —From one of the Albertson Foundation’s full-page ads promoting the education reforms. VanderSloot’s “Community Page” ads were nastier in tone, blaming everything wrong in education on teacher unions, while the Albertson Foundation took the softer approach of “don’t our children deserve a brighter future?” But as the controversy unfolded, it became increasingly clear that both Vandersloot—already a billionaire—and the AF leaders (in particular, Albertson fortune heir Joseph B. Scott) had the same motive for shilling Lunaship so shrilly: the ﬁnancial killing they would make when Idaho, hopefully followed by other states, started shelling out the mega bucks for online education.

THE IDAHO EDUCATION ASSOCIATION “We’re offended by the idea we haven’t been putting students ﬁrst all along.” —Sherri Wood, former IEA president The vast majority of Idaho parents knew that they and their kids were being forced into something they neither asked for nor wanted with Luna’s education reforms. Yet, if not for the Idaho Education Association, they would have had no platform, no organization or unity from which to launch a counteroffensive. Had it not been for the IEA’s stiff resistance, we’d have been left to like it or lump it.

BUTCH VS. OBAMACARE If you’re part of the nearly 20 percent of Idahoans who are uninsured, and for your well-being were hoping our governor would relent on his raving hatred of President Barack Obama’s health-care plan, tough nuts to you, citizen. While Gov. C.L. “Butch” Otter did veto the nulliﬁcation nonsense pushed so hard by the tea partitards in the Legislature, he simultaneously issued an executive order forbidding any state agency or employee to take any part whatsoever in moving “Obamacare” forward in Idaho. The best thing to be said about the guv in this matter is that, in spite of his theatrics, since putting his cowboy boot down to absolutely no federal Obamacare money, he has signed off on waivers that allowed millions of those dollars in. For that, maybe he deserves some praise. However, I just can’t write the words: “For his astounding hypocrisy, Butch Otter is awarded a Spud.”

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ONLY GREEN WITH ENVY? Before a Congressional hearing, our governor (ever a bitter enemy of environmental decisions, be they wilderness designations or that river that runs by his ranch where he oughta be able to dig up anything he goddamn feels like), announced that the golf course in Coeur d’Alene pulls as many visitors in a day as the whole Frank Church River of No Return Wilderness attracts in a year. Within hours, he was proven wrong by a factor of several thousand, but I don’t think his crappy math is the real story here. Could it be he’s jealous that there will never be anything named after him more magniﬁcent than a wet T-shirt contest in Garden City?

BIG TALK, ESPECIALLY COMING FROM A CAREER POLITICIAN “It’s time to take the extraordinary measures that were born of necessity these past few years into the foundation for a new concept of governance for Idaho. Governance that emboldens and frees individuals and communities from the soulcrushing tyranny of entitlement.” —Otter, alerting Idahoans in his 2011 State of the State address that he was preparing to strip everything he could from the state’s poorest, sickest, youngest, most-vulnerable and least politically connected Idahoans. Personal memo to Otter: Hopalong, you ain’t no leader. You’re just a tacky cardboard cut-out trying to act the part of a leader. Real leaders use their own brains, not Ralph Smeed’s.

ALL HAIL CECE, IDAHO’S GREATEST GOV. Congratulations to the four-term ex-governor and former secretary of the interior (under President Jimmy Carter) Cecil Andrus, whose biography by Chris Carlson was released this year with the title Cecil Andrus: Idaho’s Greatest Governor. Gov. Andrus, I knew well before this year that you were the greatest governor, but what I really love about this biography is that it gives me yet another opportunity to remind Idahoans of how far we have slipped. In fact, an even better title would have been Cecil Andrus: About 1 Million Times Better Than What We Have Now.

NULLIFICATING IDAHO “We’re simply saying, as a sovereign state of Idaho, we respectfully decline to recognize the federal government’s action WWW. B OISEWEEKLY.C O M

in this area.” —Meridian Republican Sen. Russ Fulcher, explaining why he and other legislators from Idaho’s ruling party wanted to “nullify” Obama’s health-care bill. Historically, Southern states have been the biggest fans of the long-discredited notion of nullification. They have tried using it repeatedly—from the Civil War era to the civil rights era—almost as a rule to get out of doing the decent thing in regard to race. Our own bunch of elected white people tried it out in an effort to deny uninsured Idahoans their best chance for affordable, unrevokable health-care insurance. In spite of warnings from the state Attorney General’s Office that such a bird-brained move would never fly, the matter was pursued during the legislative session by people old enough, but clearly not smart enough, to know they were wasting time and money trying to polish another one of those turds on which the extreme right loves to waste time and money.

“FIBBER” MCGEE Many will question how I could possibly give Caldwell Republican Sen. John McGee a Spud for getting so shit-faced he could not recall how he ended up barefoot, after jack kniﬁng a utility trailer on the property of someone he didn’t know, in an SUV that didn’t belong to him. Listen, I don’t condone anybody driving around in a stolen car at 3 a.m. with a blood-alcohol level twice the legal limit. And that goes double for folks from Canyon County, who aren’t renowned for their motoring skills under the best of circumstances. However, after reviewing four months’ worth of news about legislators and the 2011 legislative session, the McGee escapade has at least the quality of being funny. You know, in a sad sort of way. And as a legislative leader, he suffered no lasting consequences or penalties for his behavior or the subsequent stonewalling over it. The story allows me another opportunity to demonstrate that no matter what an Idaho Republican hot shot does, his little family values buddies are willing to forget the whole thing ever happened. Right, Butch?

IDAHO REDISTRICTING COMMISSION “I have a really good idea. Next time, you put your hand up to do this job.” —Dolores Crow to Rod Beck Now listen, be careful not to get the second redistricting commission confused with the first redistricting commission. The first commission couldn’t redistrict squat, let me tell you. It spent 92 days trying to draw new legislative and congressional lines through Idaho, and in the end all it had was a big steaming pile of nothing. But then six different people took over— three Democrats and three Republicans, just like the first bunch—and got ’er done in a couple of weeks, give or take. So to Dolores Crow, Ron Beitelspacher, Shauneen Grange, Sheila Olsen, Elmer Martinez and Randy Hansen, I say Spuds to you. And a special, special “You Go, Girl” Spud to Crow, who told Rod Beck to go Dud himself (my words) when he wouldn’t stop bitching about their successful and bipartisan accomplishment.

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LIMO LICENSE You would think that during this frenzied time of budget-slashing and “ain’t guv’mint the shits?” rhetoric that the men and women elected to Idaho’s ofﬁces would at least make an attempt to not look like self-serving swine who are out to take advantage of every perk, loophole and cronyism they can ﬁnd in their arrangement with the people who elected them. I mean, wouldn’t ya? Take State Treasurer Ron Crane. We learned in 2011 that when he goes to New York City on state business (which he claims he has to do at least once a year ... you know, as though conference calls and the Internet and fax machines haven’t been invented yet), he prefers to travel the Big Apple in stretch limousines. He claims it’s easier to keep the “Idaho delegation” (wink, wink) together, even though the limos run about four times what a comparable taxi cab ride costs. But it seems the “Idaho delegation” often includes wives, relatives and anyone else from Idaho’s ruling caste who might want to open a line of credit at Tiffany’s or catch a matinee of The Book of Mormon. Perhaps we should just be thankful that we have yet to read (in The New York Times) reports of “clans of Idaho hillfolk, hanging out of limousine sun roofs, plinking road signs with varmint guns.”

LAND BOARD? OR CIRCLE JERK? Then there is the case of the Idaho State Land Board—the agency that oversees the endowment to Idaho public schools—handing out $279,000 for public relations work to Mike Tracy, the same man who worked on the campaigns of Butch Otter and State Controller Donna Jones, both of whom are members of the Land Board. By my reckoning, $279,000 equals seven teachers.

PER DIEM DULLARDS And as if Sen. John “Hey off-cer, where-the-fug am I?” McGee hadn’t already grabbed enough of our attention this year, word got out that he and another Canyon County legislator, Republican Sen. Curt McKenzie of Nampa, were each getting $122 a day to pay for a Capital City homeaway-from-home during the legislative session. This in spite of the fact that when McKenzie didn’t want to make the torturous 30-minute drive back to Nampa, he slept on a couch in his Boise law ofﬁce, and McGee stayed at his parents’ Boise home rather than hump it all the way over to Caldwell. It is worth noting that McKenzie tried to excuse his hand in our pockets (in a guest opinion to the Idaho Statesman) by blaming the media coverage. He ﬁnished his argument complaining that he makes less in a year as a lawmaker than a library assistant

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in Georgia or a barista in Denver. I feel compelled to point out the difference—library assistants and baristas actually do something useful for the money they get.

NOTHING FOR SOMETHING Incidentally, you know that redistricting commission I mentioned earlier? I mean the one that didn’t get anything done, as opposed to the one that did get something done. OK, the truth is, the one that didn’t get anything done actually did get something done. It spent $300,000 dollars without a thing to show for it. That’s really something, isn’t it? Oh, and that $300,000 wasn’t its money. It was mine. And yours. You know, the money we send in every year hoping something gets done with it.

ALAN SHEALY, BYE BYE Some called you the smart-aleckiest member of the Boise City Council. I talked to you once or twice. I found you to be warm, smart and funny—qualities that don’t always go together in one skin. I didn’t think you were the least bit smart-alecky. And even if I had, it beats the hell out of dumb-alecky.

CUT THE CRAPO Now and then, I see signs in Mike Crapo’s job performance—he’s one of our senators, remember?—that hint he may not be quite as cravenly partisan, thoughtless and self-serving as the rest of our congressional rat pack. We don’t know exactly what part he played in the Gang of Six, that bipartisan group that tried to ﬁnd an answer to the debt ceiling hell the tea bagger Republicans put the nation through. But at least Crapo was part of a potential solution—no matter that it failed—while virtually everyone else in his party were parts of the problem.

A MOUTH BIGGER THAN THE HEAD IT’S ON? Nobody should be shocked that Sen. Jim Risch, Idaho’s most diminutive member of our congressional delegation, likened the Environmental Protection Agency to the Nazi Gestapo. After all, the EPA has become a favorite dog to kick by Republicans hoping to get some attention. And we Idahoans all know how desperately Li’l WWW. B O I S E WE E KLY. C O M

Jimmy craves attention, don’t we? Besides, as we review the history of the civilization, we often ﬁnd it is the smallest of men who tell the tallest of tales. But then Risch claimed he couldn’t remember saying such a wild and douchy thing. He promised to ask his staff if the absurd comparison had indeed come from his mouth. His explanation: “I’m not going to deny [I said it]. They were taking notes. I wasn’t.” That’s right. Risch ain’t getting paid to take no stinking notes, and who do we think we are, expecting an important dude like him to know what’s coming out of his own mouth?

RAUL LABRADOR When news came that Rep. Raul Labrador’s immigration bill contained language he lifted word-for-word from a California Democrat’s hiring bill, it didn’t come as much of a surprise. After all, this Tea Party parrot head wasn’t exactly elected for his original thinking, was he? But then, we heard about the $34,000 that he paid his wife for the at-home, parttime job of keeping the books for his reelection campaign. In other words, if you’ve donated any money to keep Labrador in his $174,000-a-year congressional gig—where for the past year his only apparent function was to be a cog in the obstructionist wheel that has kept Obama from cooking up jobs for Americans, maybe even you—then you’ll be happy to know (or not) that some fraction of that donation went into Mrs. Labrador’s purse. But as we contemplate just how much money Labrador requires to carry on as he does, let us not overlook the accomplishments he’s racked up in his mere year among the Beltwayers. Aside from voting lock-step with the John Boehner/Eric Cantor gang, he was also one of the ﬁrst to demand that Attorney General Eric Holder resign over the Drug Enforcement Agency policy of allowing guns to pass into the hands of Mexican murderers so they could be traced. Never mind that the policy came into being during the Bush administration. As with most of the yapping Tea Partiers all of history began for Labrador the day Obama took the oath of ofﬁce. So anything that happened prior to that day couldn’t have really happened, get it? Understand? If you do, it’s a pretty sure bet you voted for Labrador.

MIKE SIMPSON We mustn’t get too enthusiastic about awarding Rep. Mike Simpson a Spud for what seems to be his willingness to consider new taxes in the effort to bring the raging deﬁcit under control. After all, this is the same guy who wouldn’t have dreamed of not giving George W. Bush every tax cut for the wealthy and every unfunded war that Texas twit asked for. So no, let us not get overly gaga that he recently proposed that raising a tax or two may be a necessary part of the ultimate solution. Yet, it is mildly encouraging that our dentist-turned-career politician is one of the handful of Republicans seemingly willing to buck the no-tax pledge Grover Norquist holds over the head of the GOP like a sledge hammer over a slaughterhouse hog. So I give WWW. B OISEWEEKLY.C O M

him a Spud, even though I don’t expect him to hang onto it for long. Oops! That didn’t take long. I just came across the news that Simpson was not only pushing a bill to hand wolf management entirely over to the states, which would be like putting a pedophile ring in charge of the Boy Scouts, but he was a leader in the effort to cut funding and curtail the authority of the EPA. Mr. Simpson, we’ll have that Spud back, if you please, and in the same shape it was when I gave it to you. Oh, and by the way, I sure hope you were a better dentist than you are a Congressman.

SPUDS Remember that bowl game they throw here in Boise every year? They used to call it the Humanitarian Bowl, I suppose it was because they wanted the world to think that Boise is some kind of winter nesting grounds for humanitarians. However, maybe it’s because the governor and the Legislature stomped any local humanitarianism to death under the cover of balancing a budget on the backs of schoolkids and sick poor people, but the name of that football game has been changed. It is now called the Idaho Famous Potato Bowl. Rolls off the tongue, doesn’t it? The Idaho Potato Commission is paying $2.5 million for the name, and I wonder if it’s only a coincidence it decided to do this to ratchet up the PR a notch in the wake of an immense study of dietary habits, which has found that potatoes in any form—from plain boiled spuds up to Pringles—play an undeniable role in the gross and growing obesity among Americans. Actually, the potato people only paid to name the bowl game for six years. So if you have something to hype and enough money, maybe you can outbid them for the right to name the 2017 game. Think of the possibilities: The Rotor Rooter Bowl. The Dr. Larry’s Garden City Chiropractic Bowl. The AAAA Bail Bonds Bowl.

GBAD AIN’T GETTING ANY GBETTER The endless bickering between board members of the Greater Boise Auditorium District leaves me to wonder: How can whatever is causing these people to go after one another like five cats in one gunny sack be so contentious and so boring at the same time? Honestly, it’s tough keeping up with whatever they’re fighting about from one week to the next, and it’s even tougher to find something in it all to give a damn about.

BOISEweekly | DECEMBER 28, 2011 – JANUARY 3, 2012 | 13

DREAM ON SPUD: THE HOLE

RTS CH A SHI 100 3.50 E $ ’S M O ET FR EEV

H L G S 0 EAC LON .0 100 OM $7 TS R F HIR

S EAT 0 EACH SW 0 100 M $7. S FRO DIE CH HOO EA 100 15.00 M$ FRO

M - F 9:00 - 3:00 (or by appt.) · 3701 Overland

You know The Hole I’m talking about. In fact, that’s probably some of your trash littering the bottom of it. Word came out this year that, supposedly, a developer is finally going to build something there. Something beautiful, I’m sure. An edifice for the ages, that’s what I’m hoping for. And then, the same developer is going to go up to Cascade and fix the Tamarack mess, once and for all. That’s what I heard, anyway. And after that, he’s going to put up a world-class convention center on those rocky lots downtown and donate it to the city. And then ... and then ...

IT’S NOT WHO YOU KNOW, BUT HOW LIT UP YOU ARE “I thought, boy, here’s a young man with a sparkle in his eye who steps right up and takes charge.” —Former Gov. Dirk Kempthorne, referring to his ﬁrst meeting Josh Tewalt in 1999. That sparkle in Josh Tewalt’s eye led to a career in elevated political circles, culminating in his landing a job as deputy chief of the Idaho Bureau of Prisons, a position for which Tewalt has next-to-zilch in training or education and for which he gets paid more than $83,000 a year. However, with a few less-inﬂuential friends, Tewalt might have done his stint with the Bureau of Prisons on the other side of the bars, having been tagged with three DUIs since 2002. Might explain how those eyes got so sparkly, ya think?

LABORED LOGIC Roger Madsen is one of those longtime Idaho ﬂoatabouts who keep showing up in state government positions. For the last 16 years, he has been the director of the Idaho Department of Labor. Under normal conditions, we’d never hear a word out of him, since the Department of Labor’s main function in Idaho is to make sure labor understands that nobody in power really gives a good goddamn about them. But this fall, Madsen made a splash by lobbying our congressional delegation to oppose any extension of unemployment beneﬁts. His argument is familiar conservative labor theory, that common people are so lazy and weak of will that they will choose to sit at home and collect any sort of assistance whatsoever, from food stamps to disability to unemployment, rather than go hunt for a job whether there are any jobs to be had or not. Luckily for Madsen, he always seems to have a job, and at our expense.

14 | DECEMBER 28, 2011 – JANUARY 3, 2012 | BOISEweekly

SEMANKO SEMANTICS Gad, these government parasites make me want to just puke. Why don’t they go get a job instead of living off the taxpayers. Damn bums! Oh, excuse me. I imagine you thought I was talking about some welfare queen or the 99 percenters? No, no—I’m talking about these ultra-right tea bagger birds who preach the anti-government line like it’s being fed to them on a tape loop, then ﬁnd one pool of taxpayer money after another in which to dip themselves. Take Norm Semanko ... puh-leese! He is currently the chairman of the Idaho Republican Party, and from that exalted height, he spews a steady stream of “no-taxes/ less government” drivel. At the same time, he ran to be mayor of Eagle and tried to explain how he was able to ﬁnagle $176,000 worth of loans out of the Idaho Water Users Association, an agency funded in part by state tax dollars and of which he is the executive director. Semanko didn’t become mayor of Eagle, but I have my doubts that means he will go get an honest job. Like so many of his tribe, it’s easier hanging around the government tracks, picking up scraps and appointments that fall off passing crony trains.

TIME TRAVEL Stephen “Jay” Olson, an internationally recognized quantum physicist originally from Nampa, has proposed that traveling through time may be possible. Wow! Doesn’t that just blow your mind? I mean, who would have thought that somebody from Nampa could turn into a quantum physicist? Sure, it’s easier imagining a John Bujak, Wayne Hoffman or Tom Luna coming out of Nampa, but a quantum physicist who’s doing ground-breaking work on a global stage? Way to put the 2C on the map in a positive way.

FRACK IT! One big, smelly, combustible, toxic Dud to the fracking extraction method proposed for getting natural gas out of the ground over in Payette County, and to the frackers who insist it won’t affect the ground water in spite of contrary testimony from all over the country, and to the fracking state leaders who won’t even consider putting any restrictions on the practice (such as a ban on horizontal fracking), and ﬁnally, to all those motherfrackers in the fossil-fuel business who come up with one damn thing after another for us to worry about.

BRONCOS GOING BIG! AND EAST! I want to congratulate the Boise State Broncos football team and its noisy fan base, Bronco Nation. As I understand it, it is an enormous feather in its helmet to be invited into the Big East Conference. Way to go, Broncos. Wow. I am so happy for you, and I mean that, despite being a Vandal. And having spent a spell back WWW. B O I S E WE E KLY. C O M

East when I was younger, let me tell you how much you will enjoy living and playing your silly football games wherever you end up ... uh, hold on. Ah, jeez, I should have ﬁgured it was too good to be true. I have just been informed that being in the Big East Conference will not require that you pick up and move your entire operation—Bronco Nation included—to the other side of the Mississippi. I guess I misunderstood. And here I was looking forward to some quiet autumn weekends without all those pennants and windsocks and Blue Elvises ﬂapping in the breeze. Darnit. Oh, well, go ahead and keep your Spud. I imagine you had it in the locker room so I don’t want it back.

GENE BLEYMAIER And while we’re talking about boring sports crap and such, too bad about Athletics Director Gene Bleymaier getting the ax ... I, uh, guess. I mean, I know how popular he was among Blue Turfers, and I understand that not many of you think those NCAA rule violations were worth all the hubbub. But then again, they don’t call ’em “rules” for nothing, do they?

BOB KUSTRA One last thing, a Spud must go to Boise State President Bob Kustra, who had the fortitude and principles to can the man who in 30 years took Boise State sports from small-time irrelevance to the exalted position of being investigated for NCAA rule violations. Bronco Nation may never forgive you, Mr. Kustra, but some of us recognize where frenzied sports idolatry can lead. Best to nip it in the bud before it reaches Penn State levels, I say.

MARV HAGEDORN Like other gun-touting bozos who race like randy monkeys into recommending more guns on campuses whenever a shooting occurs on a campus, Meridian Republican Rep. Marv Hagedorn gagged up the NRA party line the very day after Katy Benoit’s death. Of course, the conspicuous point Hagedorn misses is that, with what we now know about the killer Ernesto Bustamante, it’s very likely he was one of those macho meatheads who, before he shot Benoit, imagined himself to be a gun-toting, crime-stopping hero the likes of which idiots such as Hagedorn are always wet-dreaming about.

AARON TRIBBLE And speaking of macho meatheads, we have a Dud to spare for one Aaron Tribble, a University of Idaho law student who, in January, brought suit against that university for banning ﬁrearms from campus, thereby denying him his Second Amenblah blah blah, blah blah blah, and blah blah blah.

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U.S. DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE Way to go, DOJ, for doing what Idaho Republican legislators have refused to do—hold Athol Republican Rep. Phil Hart accountable for being a self-serving bum and a criminal to boot. As you will recall, Hart (who was awarded 2010’s Dud of the Year for his tax-evading, public timber-stealing crime spree) has been getting away with stuff that would have landed you or I in the hoosegow years ago, and he’s been doing it with a wink and a grin from other antigovernment fanatics in our Legislature. But thankfully, somebody in the Justice Department has decided this grifter has pulled the faux-patriot wool over Idahoans’ eyes long enough and has ﬁled a lien to get the half-million-plus bucks that Hart owes the people of America. It remains to be seen if there are any local authorities with the guts to go after the tens of thousands he owes the citizens of Idaho.

REBEL REX “It would appear I have become Idaho’s poster child for government insubordination, a reputation I am proud to accept.” —Rex Rammell, boasting on his website about what a bad-ass he is. Sometimes, I get to wondering if the Masters of Idaho—and in your heart, you know who they are—don’t hire a guy to bounce around like a demented baboon to say the most outlandish things so that, in comparison, they don’t look so bad themselves. If there were such a job, it would explain so many past and present quirks in Idaho politics, wouldn’t it? Bill Sali, for instance, and Helen Chenoweth. So is it possible that the current holder of that hypothetical position might be Rex Rammell? You remember Rammell, I’m sure. He’s that odd, mouthy man who keeps running for ofﬁce in spite of never getting any votes to speak of. In 2009, Rammell earned the Dud of the Year award for his veiled threats against Obama, but this year, he might have outdone himself. He got busted for poaching, jury tampering, criminal contempt and assault.

A DUD FOR RUNNING OUT OF SPACE BEFORE I COULD HAND OUT DUDS OR SPUDS TO: UÊ/ iÊ"VVÕ«ÞÊ ÃiÊv> Ì vÕ ° UÊ"ÃV>ÀÊ"ÀÌi}>]ÊÌ iÊ `> Ê > ÃÊL ÞÊÜ ]Ê by taking a pot shot at the White House, declaring Obama to be the Antichrist and himself to be Jesus, once again conﬁrmed to the world that, yes, there may indeed be more than a few screws loose in Idaho. UÊ* >V iÀÃÊV }Ê> ÊÌ iÊÜ>ÞÊvÀ Ê/>Ãmania to bag Idaho elk. UÊ/ iÊÌ Ü ÃÊ vÊ iÀ ` > Ê> `Ê Õ >Êv ÀÊ becoming crap-ass lousy places to raise children by failing to pass school levies. UÊ >À Ê iLÀiÜ]Ê£ ÎÈ Óä££° UÊ/ Ê7 `Ü>À`½ÃÊÀiÌ Ài i Ì]Ê} Û }ÊÕÃÊ one less reason to read that paper he worked for. UÊ `Ê > Þ]Ê > ÞÊ Ài°ÊÊ

BOISEweekly | DECEMBER 28, 2011 – JANUARY 3, 2012 | 15

BOISEvisitWEEKLY PICKS boiseweekly.com for more events

Wash off your holiday haze with comedian Gabe Dunn at Liquid Lounge.

FRIDAY DEC. 30 comedy FUELED BY DESPERATION COMEDY TOUR

Get a Santa’s sleigh view of holiday lights in a helicopter light tour.

WEDNESDAY-SUNDAY DEC. 28-JAN 1

If you’re looking for a way to lube your funny bone and fortify your liver prior to New Year’s Eve, check out Liquid’s last Fueled By Desperation Comedy Tour of 2011. Headliner Gabe Dunn will be joined by feature act Olek Szewczyk and MC Aaron Sheehan for a night of live comedy. “The audience can expect a very professional show,” said Dunn. “We’ve been doing shows out of Liquid now since December 2009, so don’t expect amateur hour—expect a well-honed, well-crafted comedy show. These shows are going to be the best of the best.” Dunn explained that Liquid is going to start primarily hosting acts from out of town in an effort to expand into a comedy venue. So this will be the last local-headlining show for a while. But Dunn is hoping to get scheduled in for a few feature spots as Liquid moves into its new format. “It’s going to be an incredible opportunity for Boise to see all these comedians who we are totally missing out on because we haven’t had a great club in quite a while,” said Dunn. For this pre-hiatus performance, Dunn plans to incorporate material about the holidays. “I deﬁnitely have ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas’ from a retailer’s perspective,” said Dunn. “And I have some sad Christmas carols that I do. It’s really going to be an outstanding show.” 7:30 p.m., $5. Liquid Lounge, 405 S. Eighth St., Ste. 110, 208-287-5379, liquidboise.com.

chopper HELICOPTER LIGHT TOURS People love Christmas lights. They “ooh” and “ahh” at their Tron-like majesty not only because it’s a taste of Vegas style without the sordid underpinnings, but because it’s usually free. But anyone who’s ever been to the top of a tall building knows you can’t get the full experience from the ground. You gotta look down to soak it all up. However, that’s a tall order in a city short on tall buildings like Boise. Generally, it’s only Old Man Claus who gets to gaze down eagle-like on the lights. But no longer. Technology has empowered people to do much in recent years. Swim the seas like ﬁsh, communicate across them like whales, and even take to the skies to see Christmas lights like a certain jolly fat man. This week, why not check out Boise’s Christmas lights by modern-day whirlybird? Helicopter light tours leave daily from Silverhawk Aviation Academy in Caldwell and buzz along the Foothills into downtown, then take a swing by Idaho Botanical Garden to see the over 250,000 lights in the annual Winter Garden Aglow. Tours last approximately 15 minutes and will run through Sunday, Jan. 1, and cost $125 for two passengers or $150 for three to take in the jolly elf’s view, in case you’re looking for a romantic evening of shouting over the noise of the chopper engine. Wednesday, Dec. 28-Sunday, Jan. 1, 5:45 p.m.-10:30 p.m., $125 for two passengers, $150 for three passengers. Silverhawk Aviation, 4505 Aviation Way, Caldwell, 208-453-8577, silverhawkaviation.com.

16 | DECEMBER 28, 2011 – JANUARY 3, 2012 | BOISEweekly

THURSDAY DEC. 29 spins DOUBLES POLE DANCING The term “doubles pole dancing” might sound like cosmo-induced amateur night at the local bikini bar but it’s far from it. At Ophidia Studio, it’s a backbreaking, palm-chaﬁng workout that puts an exotic dancer’s moves in a whole new perspective. “It’s more Cirque du Soleil than sexy,” Ophidia owner and pole instructor Allison Holley said.

It’s more in line with Chinese acrobatics than sultr y dancing. And for this new doubles workshop it’s more about ﬁnesse. Holley created the workshop in response to a student who wanted to bring her boyfriend as a par tner. The clinic welcomes men and women to bring a par tner and learn the skill with male and female instructors. Holley even has a move to show off the acrobatic nature of doubles pole dancing: “There’s a base who goes to the top of the pole and hangs upside down, holding the pole between their legs. A ﬂyer will come

up and grab onto the wrists and hang upside down below,” said Holley. “It’s hard to explain.” “Flying” refers to a dancer literally in the air during a pole routine. While the adventurous can tr y their hand as a ﬂyer with their instructor, this workshop caters to all skill levels. “There are some beginner spins with just interlocking legs,” she said, for those just learning the ropes, er, poles. 8 p.m., $15 for two. Ophidia Studio, 4464 Chinden Blvd., Ste. A, Garden City, 208-409-2403, ophidiastudio.com.

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FIND S U R VIVALOFTHEHIPPES T.C OM

We’ve got the rundown on where you can get into a little bubble trouble this New Year’s Eve.

TWITTER JEWELRY

SATURDAY DEC. 31

TUESDAYTHURSDAY JAN. 3-5

champagne

musical

NYE PARTIES

MY FAIR LADY Even if you’ve never seen the classic 1964 movie, the image of the stunning Audrey Hepburn as Eliza Doolittle in My Fair Lady transcends the confines of film. But Hepburn wasn’t the first to learn that the rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain. Since the original musical opened in 1956—starring the equally fabulous Julie Andrews—it has been one of the most performed and most loved productions of all time. The most recent revival will bring it to the Morrison Center in Boise for three shows as part of the Broadway in Boise series. If you’ve managed to avoid all references to the musical during the last 50 years, here’s the premise: A man bets he can teach a poor girl with a Cockney accent how to speak so properly that she could pass for an aristocrat. In the process, he falls in love with her and many songs are sung. The story is based on the play Pygmalion by George Bernard Shaw, but the musical version that includes a few jaunty little tunes overshadowed the original long ago. Who knows, maybe Boiseans will suddenly seem a little more aristocratic. Tuesday, Jan.3-Thursday, Jan. 5, 7:30 p.m., $30-$50. Morrison Center for the Performing Arts, 2201 Cesar Chavez Lane, 208-426-1609, mc.boisestate.edu.

S U B M I T

Bust out that party hat, noise-maker and everything shiny in your closet—it’s New Year’s Eve. And while you could sit at home, order Chinese delivery and put on a movie, this is the sort of holiday that generally warrants a little rambunctious fun. If you don’t have any idea where to go to ring in 2012, don’t worry—here’s the 411 on the NYE haps. Like live music? Good, because there’s plenty of it in the City of Trees. Head to the Knitting Factory Concert House for New Year’s Eve With Micky and the Motorcars. This Braun Brothers show is open to everyone 18 and older, and includes a champagne toast at midnight for the over-21 set. The show starts at 9:30 p.m. and tickets range from $25-$100, or visit promo. boiseweekly.com for a chance to win a pair of tickets. Feeling a little less country and a bit more rock ’n’ roll? Catch some classic rock at the Boise Centre’s Rockin’ New Year’s Eve bash. Champagne, food and drinks will accompany rock cover songs and dancing at this 21-and-older party. This is the celebration’s 18th year, so it must be doing something right. Tickets are $20 and the party gets going at 8 p.m. If you want a more eclectic lineup of musicians, spend NYE at The Shredder, where thrash metal bands Krystos and Datura, punk rockers Jerkwadz and indie hip-hop fav Curtis Plum will all make an appearance, alongside arcades, a half pipe and lots of barley pops. The show costs $5 and all ages are welcome from 8-11:30 p.m., but the older crowd can stick around until 2 a.m. If you want to ring in the New Year with Mr. Built to Spill himself, Doug Martsch, head over to Neurolux for a full night of DJ jams by Built to Spin. Martsch spins an eclectic array of indie, reggae and electronic tracks guaranteed to get your ass shaking. The dance party gets started at 10 p.m. and will set you back $5. If you’d rather party in Garden City than the City of Trees, catch the 2012 Carnival at Visual Arts Collective. Live performances will occur on the hour beginning at 8 p.m. and will feature the lustrous ladies of the Red Light Variety Show and members of Alley Repertory Theater, a few short ﬁlms will be shown, and there will be plenty of door prizes and dancing. Admission is on a pay-what-you-want basis, and all donations will help fund a new storage space for the plethora of performance companies that call VAC home. Need something to do with your adorable offspring? Idaho Ice World has just the thing. For $5, you can rent a pair of skates and glide into the New Year with your whole family. Hit the food court and then head back to the ice, where you can skate until 1 a.m.—or whenever your legs give out. Wahooz Family Fun Zone and Pinz Bowling Lane provide an ice-free night out with cosmic bowling, laser tag, a pizza and pasta buffet and more arcade games than you can shake a joystick at. Tickets are $27 for the kiddos and $45 for adults. If it’s a glamorous, adults-only New Years you’re after, head to Helina Marie’s for a decadent evening. The theme is Recreating the Mansion one bunny at a time, so scour up a vintage Playboy, pony up $12.50 and head to the wine shop at 8 p.m. for booze, music, dancing and a dessert buffet. Bunny suits and smoking jackets are encouraged but not mandatory. You can also wear something a little zany at Liquid Lounge’s ABC NYE party. No, it’s not an alphabet lesson—the theme for this shindig is anything but clothes. You’ll probably get arrested or be hospitalized from hypothermia if you go nude, but grab some duct tape, repurpose the area rug in your living room or get creative with the awesome publication you’re currently holding and play fashion designer. Donning a costume gets you out of the $5 cover charge, and the best male and female get-ups will each earn a $50 bar tab. There will be plenty of door prizes, giveaways and lots of live music from Alpenﬂow and In the Fade. Once you’ve indulged in a boozy good time, stumble to Liquid’s sister restaurant Solid, where you can get breakfast until 4 a.m., soak up the alcohol in your system, wait for a taxi and feel proud that you got 2012 off to such an awesome start.

So your pockets are lined with a little post-Christmas padding. Why not pull a Snoop Dogg and spend a chunk of it on some absolutely frivolous bling? Well, Survival of the Hippest has your ostentatious, mink coat-clad back. The online jewelry store boasts the ridiculous Social Status Collection, which features personalized, handcrafted Twitter handle necklaces made out of 925 sterling silver, 10K survivalofthehippest.com or 14K gold. Survival of the Hippest boasts that its “custom-designed st@tus symbols for the ultra-chic and the uber-geek” are bound to “increase your social net worth.” “It’s a perfectly subtle way to identify yourself to your existing Twitterfriends (who may not recognize you from your proper name or tiny Twitter picture at a party or networking event) and a gentle conversation starter to garner new followers along the way.” Options include the regular necklace, the hashtag necklace, the two handle “Tweet-heart” necklace, bracelets, keychains, anklets, pins or tie clips. The price increases based on the number of letters you choose, the type of metal and the chain length you select. You also have the option of encrusting your jewelry with diamonds, crystals, sapphires, rubies or emeralds. Fifteen letters encrusted with diamonds is a very reasonable $1,080 extra. —Tara Morgan

an event by e-mail to calendar@boiseweekly.com. Listings are due by noon the Thursday before publication.

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BOISEweekly | DECEMBER 28, 2011 – JANUARY 3, 2012 | 17

8 DAYS OUT WEDNESDAY DEC. 28 On Stage IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE—This live radio play includes the favorites from It’s a Wonderful Life plus staged commercials, sound effects and music. 7 p.m. $10$20. Sun Valley Opera House, Sun Valley Village, Sun Valley, 208-622-2244, sunvalley.com.

Kids & Teens DRAMA CAMP—Children ages 9-12 can try acting, characterization, stage technique, theater crafts, costume and set design at this day camp presented by Boise Parks and Recreation. Participants may give a presentation on the last day of camp. Contact recreation coordinator Clay Lee via email at clee@cityofboise.org or 208-608-7684 for more information. 9 a.m.-2 p.m. $46 Boise residents, $70.75 nonresidents. Fort Boise Community Center, 700 Robbins Road, Boise, 208-384-4486, cityofboise.org/ parks. REC ‘EM CAMP—Children ages 9-12 can enjoy ice skating, theater, ﬁtness/sports, swimming and leadership and teamwork activities at this day camp presented by Boise Parks and Recreation. Contact recreation coordinator Clay Lee via email at clee@cityofboise.org or 208608-7684 for more information. 9 a.m.-2 p.m. $63.50 Boise resident, $97.10 nonresident per day; $121 Boise resident, $187 nonresident for both days. Fort Boise Community Center, 700 Robbins Road, Boise, 208-3844486, cityofboise.org/parks. WINTER DAY CAMP—Students in second through fourth grades can learn how plants and animals survive the cold winter with hands-on projects. For more information or to register, call 208-467-9278. 1-4 p.m. FREE. Deer Flat National Wildlife Refuge Visitor’s Center, 13751 Upper Embankment Road, Nampa, 208-467-9278, fws.gov/ deerﬂat.

Kids & Teens

208-409-2403, ophidiastudio. com.

DRAMA CAMP—See Wednesday. 9 a.m.-2 p.m. $46 Boise residents, $70.75 nonresidents. Fort Boise Community Center, 700 Robbins Road, Boise, 208-384-4486, cityofboise.org/ parks.

Kids & Teens DRAMA CAMP—See Wednesday. 9 a.m.-2 p.m. $46 Boise residents, $70.75 nonresidents. Fort Boise Community Center, 700 Robbins Road, Boise, 208-384-4486, cityofboise.org/ parks.

REC ‘EM CAMP—See Wednesday. 9 a.m.-2 p.m. $63.50 Boise resident, $97.10 nonresident per day; $121 Boise resident, $187 nonresident for both days. Fort Boise Community Center, 700 Robbins Road, Boise, 208-384-4486, cityofboise.org/ parks.

Odds & Ends FUELED BY DESPERATION COMEDY SHOW—Featuring local comedians and headlined by Gabe Dunn. 8 p.m. $5. Liquid, 405 S. Eighth St., Ste. 110, Boise, 208-287-5379, liquidboise.com.

WINTER DAY CAMP—See Wednesday. 1-4 p.m. FREE. Deer Flat National Wildlife Refuge Visitor’s Center, 13751 Upper Embankment Road, Nampa, 208467-9278, fws.gov/deerﬂat.

FRIDAY DEC. 30

SATURDAY DEC. 31

On Stage

Festivals & Events

IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE—See Wednesday. 7 p.m. $10-$20. Sun Valley Opera House, Sun Valley Village, Sun Valley, 208622-2244, sunvalley.com.

ABC NYE—Liquid’s New Year’s Eve Bash includes an ABC theme—anything but clothes. Bust out the duct tape, newspaper or repurpose the area rug in your living room and wear it to this party, featuring music from In the Fade and Alpenﬂow. Everyone in costume gets in free and the best male and female costumes will each win a $50 bar tab. Plenty of door prizes, giveaways and a champagne toast at midnight. 9 p.m. $5. Liquid, 405 S. Eighth St., Ste. 110, Boise, 208-287-5379, liquidboise.com.

Sports & Fitness STEELHEADS HOCKEY—Vs. Las Vegas Wranglers. 7 p.m. $16-$50. CenturyLink Arena, 233 S. Capitol Blvd., Boise, 208424-2200 or box ofﬁce 208-3318497, centurylinkarenaboise. com/home.aspx.

EYESPY Real Dialogue from the naked city

THURSDAY DEC. 29 On Stage IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE—See Wednesday. 7 p.m. $10-$20. Sun Valley Opera House, Sun Valley Village, Sun Valley, 208622-2244, sunvalley.com.

Workshops & Classes DOUBLES POLE DANCING WORKSHOP—Learn a fun basic doubles routine with your pole partner, followed by a jam session in which all learn doubles moves and acrobatic tricks speciﬁc to your ability levels. Bring someone new or a friend from class; participants will all be working together and switching partners. See Picks, Page 16. 8 p.m. $15 for two. Ophidia Studio, 4464 Chinden Blvd., Ste. A, Garden City,

18 | DECEMBER 28, 2011 – JANUARY 3, 2012 | BOISEweekly

Overheard something Eye-spy worthy? E-mail leila@boiseweekly.com

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8 DAYS OUT 18TH ANNUAL ROCKIN’ NEW YEAR’S EVE—Enjoy classic rock covers, food, drinks and dancing. 8 p.m. $20. The Boise Centre, 850 W. Front St., Boise, idahotickets.com. BLACK AND WHITE NEW YEAR’S EVE PARTY—After Abbey and DJ Troy will help you ring in the new year. Hors d’oeuvres and a champagne toast included with admission. 9 p.m.-2 a.m. $25 per person/$40 per couple/$150 table of eight. The Boise Hotel and Conference Center, 3300 S. Vista Ave., Boise, 208-343-4900. NEW YEAR’S EVE BASH—Featuring music from Curtis Plum, Jerkwadz and Datura, along with beer, arcades and a half pipe. 8 p.m. The Shredder, 430 S. 10th, Boise, myspace.com/ toomuchdistortion. NEW YEARS EVE 2012 CARNIVAL—This party features performances by the luscious ladies of the Red Light Variety Show and members of Alley Repertory Theatre, a few short ﬁlms, plenty of door prizes and dancing. Admittance is done on a pay-what-you-want basis, and all donations will help fund a new storage space for the plethora of performance companies that perform at VAC. 8 p.m. Visual Arts Collective, 3638 Osage St., Garden City, 208-424-8297, visualartscollective.com.

NEW YEAR’S EVE PARTY—Enjoy a pizza and pasta buffet from 5-8:30 p.m., bowling and all sorts of games while you ring in the new year. 5 p.m.-1 a.m. $27 kids, $45 adults. Wahooz Fun Zone, 1385 S. Blue Marlin Lane, Meridian, 208-898-0900, wahoozfunzone.com. SKATE INTO THE NEW YEAR—Glide across the ice into 2012 with this family friendly event. 8 p.m.-1 a.m. $5, includes skate rental. Idaho IceWorld, 7072 S. Eisenman Road, 208-331-0044, idahoiceworld.com. NEW YEAR’S EVE PARTY—An evening of decadence with champagne, wines, beers, dessert buffet, music and dancing with the theme Recreating the Mansion one bunny at a time. Bunny suits and smoking jackets encouraged. Admission includes champagne at midnight, dessert buffet and party favors. 8 p.m. $12.50. Helina Marie’s Wine and Gift Shop, 11053 Highway 44, Star, 208-286-7960, helinamaries. com.

Sports & Fitness STEELHEADS HOCKEY—See Friday. 7 p.m. $16-$50. CenturyLink Arena, 233 S. Capitol Blvd., Boise, 208-424-2200 or box ofﬁce 208-331-8497, centurylinkarenaboise.com/home.aspx.

Kids & Teens NEW YEAR’S OVERNIGHTER— For boys and girls ages 5 to 12. Go out and do your adult thing while your child rings in the new year in style. Pizza, drinks and breakfast items will be provided by licensed child-care staff. Register over the phone with a credit card. Additional $5 per-child fee for same-day registration. 7 p.m. $35 ﬁrst child, $30 each additional child. Wings Center of Boise, 1875 Century Way, Boise, 208-376-3641, wingscenter. com.

Odds & Ends DISTRICT 19 FLAMENCO DANCING—Watch dancer Julianna Thomas and guitarist Derren Davidavich perform traditional Spanish ﬂamenco dancing. 6 p.m. FREE. Salt Tears Coffeehouse and Noshery, 4714 W. State St., Boise, 208-2750017, salttears.com.

SUNDAY JAN. 1 Odds & Ends KARAOKE—9:45 p.m. FREE. Liquid, 405 S. Eighth St., Ste. 110, Boise, 208-287-5379, liquidboise.com.

Animals & Pets THE MEPHAM GROUP

| SUDOKU

ADOPTION CELEBRATION—On New Year’s Day only, all adopters will be able to spin a prize wheel to determine the price they will pay for the dog or cat they choose, with discounts ranging from 25-100 percent. The adoption fee includes spay/ neuter, vaccinations, a microchip for dogs and a collar with ID tag for cats, plus a free starter kit with needed supplies and food to start a new life with the pet. The shelter will offer refreshments and door prizes to the public to celebrate the day. 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Prices vary. Canyon County Animal Shelter, 5801 Graye Lane, Caldwell, 208-455-5920, canyoncountyshelter.org.

MONDAY JAN. 2 Literature

| EASY |

MEDIUM | HARD | PROFESSIONAL |

Complete the grid so each row, column and 3-by-3 box (in bold borders) contains every digit 1 to 9. For strategies on how to solve Sudoku, visit www.sudoku.org.uk. Go to www.boiseweekly.com and look under odds and ends for the answers to this week’s puzzle. And don’t think of it as cheating. Think of it more as simply double-checking your answers.

SCBWI MEETING—Monthly meeting of the Society of Children’s Writers and Illustrators. Each month will feature a short presentation on writing, illustrating or publishing. 6:30-8 p.m. FREE. Rediscovered Bookshop, 180 N. Eighth St., Boise, 208376-4229, rdbooks.org.

LAST WEEK’S ANSWERS

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BOISEweekly | DECEMBER 28, 2011 – JANUARY 3, 2012 | 19

8 DAYS OUT Kids & Teens LEGOS SOLAR POWER HOLIDAY CAMP—Kids will explore renewable energy sources such as solar, wind and water while learning about power systems, prototyping, kinetic and potential energy. For ages 7-13. 10 a.m.noon. $75. Nampa Recreation Center, 131 Constitution Way, Nampa, 208-468-5858, nampaparksandrecreation.org.

TUESDAY JAN. 3 On Stage CIRQUE DU SOLEIL’S MICHAEL JACKSON: THE IMMORTAL WORLD TOUR—Cirque du Soleil performs its unique fusion of creative dance and acrobatics to the music of Michael Jackson. See Arts, Page 24. 8 p.m. $50$250. Taco Bell Arena, 1910 University Drive, Boise State campus, Boise, 208-426-1900, tacobellarena.com. MY FAIR LADY—Hailed as the standard by which all other musicals are judged, the Fred Meyer Broadway In Boise series brings this international treasure—upon which the classic 1964 Audrey Hepburn movie was based—to the Morrison Center. Tickets available at idahotickets.com. See Picks, Page 17. 7:30 p.m. $30-50. Morrison Center for the Performing Arts, 2201 Cesar Chavez Lane, Boise, 208-4261609, mc.boisestate.edu.

WEDNESDAY JAN. 4 On Stage MY FAIR LADY—See Tuesday. 7:30 p.m. $30-50. Morrison Center for the Performing Arts, 2201 Cesar Chavez Lane, Boise, 208426-1609, mc.boisestate.edu.

Workshops & Classes SKI AND SNOWBOARD WAXING CLASSES—Learning to wax your skis or snowboard will increase your fun in the snow. REI master technician Brook Robinson will present an in-depth examination of how and why waxes work. Registration required; visit rei.com/boise to sign up. 7 p.m. FREE. REI, 8300 W. Emerald St., Boise, 208-3221141, rei.com/stores/boise.

Kids & Teens HIP-HOP CAMP FOR KIDS— See Tuesday. 10-11:30 a.m. $35 member, $45 nonmember. Nampa Recreation Center, 131 Constitution Way, Nampa, 208468-5858, nampaparksandrecreation.org.

ONGOING HELICOPTER CHRISTMAS LIGHT TOURS—Take to the skies for a helicopter tour of Boise’s Christmas festivities. Through Sunday, Jan. 1. Call 208-453-8577 for reservations. See Picks, Page 16. $125 for two people, $150 for three people. Western Aircraft at Boise Airport, 4300 S. Kennedy St., Boise, westair.com. HOLIDAY LIGHTS TOUR—Enjoy an old-fashioned trolley tour of Boise homes decked out for the holidays. Tickets can be purchased through Select-A-Seat outlets or by calling 208-4261494. Through Friday, Dec. 30. 6 p.m. and 8 p.m. $14 adults, $12 children younger than 12. Riverside Hotel, 2900 Chinden Blvd., Garden City, doubletree1. hilton.com. WINTER GARDEN AGLOW— The Idaho Botanical Garden is once again transformed into a majestic holiday wonderland with more than 250,000 lights. Through Sunday, Jan. 8, 2012. FREE children younger than 3, $4 members and children ages 4-12, $8 general. Idaho Botanical Garden, 2355 N. Penitentiary Road, Boise, 208-343-8649, idahobotanicalgarden.org.

Kids & Teens HIP-HOP CAMP FOR KIDS— Learn some of the latest hip-hop moves around. All routines are family friendly. 10-11:30 a.m. $35 member, $45 nonmember. Nampa Recreation Center, 131 Constitution Way, Nampa, 208468-5858, nampaparksandrecreation.org. KID CLIMBER—This introductory class is designed to teach the young climber and his/her parent(s) the basics of safe climbing. A parent must participate in the class with the child. Fee includes both parent and child. Ages 6-13. 5-6:30 p.m. $15 member, $17 nonmember. Nampa Recreation Center, 131 Constitution Way, Nampa, 208468-5858, nampaparksandrecreation.org.

Odds & Ends ALMOST FAMOUS KARAOKE—9 p.m. FREE. Eastside Tavern, 610 E. Boise Ave., Boise, 208-345-3878.

20 | DECEMBER 28, 2011 – JANUARY 3, 2012 | BOISEweekly

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NEWS/NOISE NOISE

Jason Sievers and Finn Riggins collaborated on the new track “Benchwarmers.”

LOCAL MUSIC WRAP-UP

A copy of Peter Beemer’s transcription “Turkish Polka by Beethoven.”

THE BALLAD OF PETER BEEMER A glimpse into the dawn of Idaho music NICHOLAS COLLIAS Charles Bemis, husband of Polly Bemis. When Tchaikovsky was just a frustrated In the ensuing years, Beemer’s canvascivil servant and Mahler was a twinkle in an bound repertoire passed from the author to Austrian bartender’s eye, orchestral music Bemis, to Taylor Smith, who lived with the was already ringing out in the canyons and Bemises as a young man. In 1961, at age 80, mining camps of early Idaho. Smith typed a vivid two-page reminiscence According to 150-year-old dispatches to and allowed the Idaho Historical Society to the Washington Statesman in Walla Walla, make black-and-white copies of the music. Wash., from the initial outpost of Florence, Until recently, these primitive scans were professional musicians appeared almost as the only available evidence of Beemer’s unique quickly as prospectors, and they came in project. But in 2008, the Special Collections search of a different kind of gold. Music department at the Boise State library obtained was one of the basic needs in such camps—it the originals and made them available to filled long hours in winter, brought familresearchers with powers of persuasion and a iarity to new terrain and as many camp pair of clean, white archivist’s gloves. newspaper editors pointed out, it “soothed Looking at the amazingly intact original, the savage beast.” no musical skill is needed to realize that the “Do you think the old, rusty-looking miner writer of the manuscript possessed skill. Staffs has no appreciation of music or song?” asked and notes proceed throughout with clockwork the Idaho City Idaho World’s editor in 1898. pacing and uniformity, showing an experi“Why, I have often seen men who have lived enced hand at work. for days in the solitude of mountains come to “It’s a very unique manuscript,” said town and walk into some big gambling hall Vivian Williams, a musical historian and perand toss a yellow $20 to John Kelly to sing former who released the CDs Pioneer Dance some particular song or play a favorite tune.” Tunes of the Far West and Fiddle Tunes of the Kelly was an Irish immigrant who toured Lewis & Clark Era with her husband Phil. nationally and internationally through the late “Since I first saw it, I’ve run into others, 19th century. Though he may have been the but they don’t have the same significance, high mark, most old, rusty-looking miners because Peter Beemer not only wrote down had musical talent lurking beneath the grime. some stuff to play music from ... but he And Idaho happens to have one of the best actually collected tunes. And so a lot of those surviving examples of that talent, thanks to tunes are ‘waltz from so-and-so,’ and ‘polka the industrious work of Peter Beemer. from so-and-so.’ ... It’s almost an ethnographic Sometime in the early 1860s, Beemer, a document in that miner and musician sense,” she said. who lived in the remote Along with these Idaho County town Tuesday, Jan. 10, Noon-1 p.m., $5 adults, $4 tunes, which bear of Warren, began seniors and $3 students with ID. ample titles like asking residents to IDAHO STATE HISTORICAL MUSEUM “Schottish from S. whistle, hum or sing 610 Julia Davis Drive Strongberg, Camp their favorite tunes. He 208-334-2120 Washington, Idaho transcribed 124 such history.idaho.gov Warren’s Diggings,” tunes, on musical staffs come a handful of scrawled across ledger 19th century staples, books, to arrange including the French national anthem and a scores for the Warren Orchestra, a six-piece few unexpected appearances from the classiof flutes, violins, accordion and homemade cal canon, such as “Celebrated Opera Air by banjo, which would play in the bar owned by WWW. B OISEWEEKLY.C O M

Mozart” and “Turkish Polka by Beethoven.” “They’re pretty out there,” Williams conceded of Beemer’s re-interpretations. “By the time an opera aria gets transmogrified into a waltz for dancing, and then after it’s gone through at least one person by ear, the tune is going to get changed. It’s like the folk process in spades.” In 2008, the couple released a book of transcriptions and an accompanying CD: The Peter Beemer Manuscript: Dance Music Collected in the Gold Mining Camp of Warren’s Diggings, Idaho in the 1860s. The volume soon found its way to Leslie Beck, a retired Meridian music teacher who works alongside Williams at an annual fiddle workshop in Ellensburg, Wash. The Beemer manuscript instantly resonated with Beck, both for its Idaho focus and for the way it hearkens to a style—and philosophy—of playing that would seem old timey or quaint among the hot licks of modern festivals. “This is the kind of fiddling that my grandfather did,” recalled Beck, whose grandfather, Mannie Shaw was one of the founders of the Idaho Old-Time Fiddlers in the early 1960s. “They played for entertainment, for themselves, to get together for the community dance ... I don’t think a lot of the kids who are really good today would even think it was fun to play this kind of down-home style. It’s too easy. But it’s the basis—it’s what fiddling came out here as.” Beck will play selections from the Beemer manuscript on a fiddle made from a tree planted next to the Idaho Capitol Building in 1891 on Tuesday, Jan. 10, at the Idaho State Historical Museum’s Brown Bag lecture. Her goal is to help modern listeners grasp the excitement that this type of music caused in Idaho’s remotest locales. “They had nothing to do, it was Saturday night and they had a band,” Beck said. “They’d tie the handkerchief around one of the guy’s arms, and that denoted being ‘the woman.’ Because the music wasn’t just played for them to sit and listen to. They danced.”

Since it’s the end of the year, most publications are busy compiling their best-of lists as space fillers so they can all go on break instead of keeping their ears to the ground to report new news. But rather than half-ass it like that, Boise Weekly is offering up a few items of note that slid in just at the end of the year. Things like a CD listening party for local band Like a Rocket. Said rocketeers held a soiree at Pengilly’s on Dec. 18, previewing tracks from the new album. Look for it at The Record Exchange and all other Rocket-y performances. Also in album release news, local oneman-band/dreamboat James Orr has set the release date for his new album. It will be released Saturday, Feb. 11, at a special performance at the super-swanky Stueckle Sky Center on the Boise State campus. Every $15 ticket purchased for that performance will come with a copy of the album. As always with Mr. Orr’s performances, the attire is semi-formal. So you should probably, you know, wear pants. Mozam Beaks is a local band doing things a little differently. Boise got its first taste of the new project from former ATTN frontman Trevor Kamplain on the C.O.T. Mixtape, a local music compilation released last summer. That was followed by the group’s debut album, Creme de la Kremlin, an expansive electronic exploration of textures available as a free download from Barn Owl Records. But now, months later, Mozam Beaks will finally make its live debut, opening for Finn Riggins and In the Shadow of the Mountain at Neurolux on Friday, Dec. 30. If there’s a better way to pre-game New Year’s Eve, we don’t know about it. Speaking of Finn Riggins, the Boise band has released two new tracks: “Parkour” and “Benchwarmers.” The first is part of a comp for label Tender Loving Empire, and the second was a special collaboration with animation artist Jason Sievers for the Trey McIntyre Project’s 10+1. Both tracks have a heavier electronic bent than some of Finn Riggins’ previous work. “Parkour” can be heard at finnriggins.com. And finally, there has been no progress in the now cold-case myster y of who put the bomp in the bomp-she-bomp-she-bomp. Officials are hoping for a lead soon. Tips can be sent to the Institute for Filling Space at the End of a Music Column so Reporters Can get the Hell Out of the Office for Holiday Break. OK, we padded it a bit at the end there, but hot cocoa and pie are a-calling. Pleasant rocking, Boise. We’ll see you next year. —Josh Gross

BOISEweekly | DECEMBER 28, 2011 – JANUARY 3, 2012 | 21

LISTEN HERE/GUIDE GUIDE WEDNESDAY DEC. 28 CHUCK SMITH—6 p.m. FREE. Berryhill

RICO WEISMAN AND KEN HARRIS—5:30 p.m. FREE. Flatbread-Bown SWINGIN’ WITH ELLIE SHAW—6 p.m. FREE. FlatbreadDowntown

DUCHESS DOWN THE WELL—9 p.m. FREE. Grainey’s GAYLE CHAPMAN—5:45 p.m. FREE. Solid HANNAH’S GONE WILD—With the Rocci Johnson Band. 9:30 p.m. $5. Humpin’ Hannah’s

REVOLT REVOLT, NEUROLUX, DEC. 28 A lot has happened for Boise rockers Revolt Revolt of late. The band spent the fall of 2010 on a nationwide tour opening for Built to Spill, then hit the road again in 2011, spending nearly one-third of the year bringing its sound—all grunge guitars and shimmery vocals—to the masses. Along the way, the band said goodbye to drummer Jasin Serna (who left to join Pirahnas), laid down tracks for a new album and added an extra guitarist. Now it’s almost like the Revolt Revolt Boiseans have come to know has been overthrown by a potentially more mighty band, one ready to make those long months on the road really count. If you want to see what the new Revolt Revolt looks like before the group hits the road again for some unofﬁcial showcases at SXSW, swing by Neurolux Wednesday, Dec. 28. Be sure to wear your revolution pants. —Josh Gross With Autronic Eye. 8 p.m., $3. Neurolux, 111 N. 11th St., 208-343-0886, neurolux.com.

22 | DECEMBER 28, 2011 – JANUARY 3, 2012 | BOISEweekly

JAMES LEWIS—6 p.m. FREE. Salt Tears JESSICA FULGHUM—5:30 p.m. FREE. Flatbread-Meridian JIM FISHWILD—6 p.m. FREE. Highlands Hollow JIMMY BIVENS—7 p.m. FREE. Curb LARRY CONKLIN—11:30 a.m. FREE. Shangri La NEW TRANSIT—8:45 p.m. FREE. Pengilly’s PATRICIA FOLKNER—7 p.m. FREE. Lock, Stock & Barrel PAUL DRAGONE—5 p.m. FREE. Shangri La REVOLT REVOLT—With Autronic Eye. See Listen Here, This Page. 8 p.m. $3. Neurolux

THURSDAY DEC. 29 BLAZE AND KELLY—8 p.m. FREE. Lock, Stock & Barrel DJ THURSDAYS—10 p.m. FREE. Humpin’ Hannah’s FRIM FRAM 4—8:45 p.m. FREE. Pengilly’s

Rocci Johnson Band

KEN HARRIS AND RICO WEISMAN—6 p.m. FREE. Berryhill

FRIDAY DEC. 30

THE NAUGHTIES—9 p.m. FREE. Grainey’s

AMY WEBER—8 p.m. FREE. Gamekeeper

REILLY COYOTE—7 p.m. FREE. Shorty’s Saloon

ANDREW CORTENS—6 p.m. FREE. Berryhill

RYAN WISSINGER—6 p.m. FREE. Solid

BIG WOW—9 p.m. FREE. Willowcreek-Eagle

THE SALOONATICS—9 p.m. FREE. Buffalo Club

BRANDON PRITCHETT—8:30 p.m. FREE. Piper Pub

STRICTLY UK FEATURING D.J. ORBUS—9:45 p.m. FREE. Liquid

FINN RIGGINS—8 p.m. $5. Neurolux

WAYNE COYLE—8 p.m. FREE. Jo’s Sunshine Lounge

JOHN CAZAN—5 p.m. FREE. Lock, Stock & Barrel JOHNNY SHOES—7 p.m. FREE. Willi B’s

THE NAUGHTIES—9 p.m. FREE. Grainey’s PRE-NYE HIP-HOP PARTY—See Listen Here, Page 23. 9:30 p.m. $3. Liquid ROCCI JOHNSON BAND—9:30 p.m. $5 after 10 p.m., FREE for ladies. Humpin’ Hannah’s RYAN WISSINGER—6 p.m. FREE. Solid THE SALOONATICS—9 p.m. $5. Buffalo Club SOUL CATS—8:45 p.m. FREE. Pengilly’s SOUL SERENE—10 p.m. $5. Reef THE WORKING DJS—9:30 p.m. $3. Grainey’s Basement

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GUIDE/LISTEN HERE

For mor e New Year’s Eve events, see Picks on Page 16 and 8 Days Out listings on Pages 18-19.

Exit Prose

GUIDE SUNDAY JAN. 1

Micky and the Motorcars

SATURDAY DEC. 31 AMY WEBER—9 p.m. FREE. Gamekeeper DJ DOUG MARTSCH— See Picks, Page 17. 10 p.m. $5. Neurolux ERIC GRAE—5 p.m. FREE. Berryhill JEREMIAH JAMES GANG—8:45 p.m. FREE. Pengilly’s JIMMY BIVENS—9:30 p.m. FREE. Shore Lodge MICKY AND THE MOTORCARS—See Picks, Page 17. 9:30 p.m. $25. Knitting Factory

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THE NAUGHTIES—9 p.m. FREE. Grainey’s PILOT ERROR—10 p.m. $10. Reef ROCCI JOHNSON BAND—9:30 p.m. $5 after 10 p.m., FREE for ladies. Humpin’ Hannah’s RIZING TIDE—8 p.m. FREE. Willowcreek-Eagle

STEADY RUSH—8:30 p.m. FREE. Piper Pub

NATHAN MOODY—8 p.m. FREE. Jo’s Sunshine Lounge

GREG PERKINS AND RICK CONNOLLY: THE SIDEMEN—6 p.m. FREE. Chandlers

OLD-TIME JAM SESSION—6 p.m. FREE. Pengilly’s

SUNDERGROUND—9 p.m. FREE. Grainey’s Basement

TERRI EBERLEIN—6 p.m. FREE. Berryhill

MONDAY JAN. 2

WEDNESDAY JAN. 4

BLUES JAM WITH RICHARD SOLIZ—8 p.m. FREE. Jo’s Sunshine Lounge

GAYLE CHAPMAN—5:45 p.m. FREE. Solid

PUNK MONDAY—8 p.m. $3. Liquid

HANNAH’S GONE WILD—With the Rocci Johnson Band. 9:30 p.m. $5. Humpin’ Hannah’s

REX MILLER—6 p.m. FREE. Berryhill

JIM FISHWILD—6 p.m. FREE. Highlands Hollow

RILEY FRIEDMAN—6 p.m. FREE. Lulu’s

LARRY CONKLIN—11:30 a.m. FREE. Shangri La

THE SHAUN BRAZELL TRIO— 7:30 p.m. FREE. Chandlers

PATRICIA FOLKNER—7 p.m. FREE. Lock, Stock & Barrel PAUL DRAGONE—5 p.m. FREE. Shangri La

RYAN WISSINGER—-6 p.m. FREE. Solid THE SALOONATICS—9 p.m. $5. Buffalo Club

LARRY CONKLIN—11:30 a.m. FREE. Moon’s

TUESDAY JAN. 3

TERRY JONES—6 p.m. FREE. Berryhill

TERRI EBERLEIN—6 p.m. FREE. Berryhill THE WORKING DJS—9:30 p.m. $3. Grainey’s Basement

V E N U E S Don’t know a venue? Visit www.boiseweekly.com for addresses, phone numbers and a map.

PRE-NYE HIP-HOP NIGHT, LIQUID, DEC. 30 Not content to limit the party to the big countdown, Boise’s hip-hop scene will take the stage on Friday, Dec. 30, for a New Year’s Eve preview party packed with entertainment. The night of funky rhymes and skunky beats will feature local rap royalty Exit Prose, Mo Digs, Tha Lost & Found and more. Exit Prose, formerly of Kamphire Collective, is repping his solo album, Sensational Woes, a hard-hitting record with diverse sampling and impressive ﬂow. Mo Digs will spit both solo and with Dacram, his Tha Lost & Found counterpart. The duo will share the mic and throw down atop record-scratch tracks. Shaun B. will host the show, which includes performances by P-Dirt, B-KASHZ and DJ L-Nasty, along with breakdance stylings from the Boise B-boys. With a best-dressed contest, door prizes and giveaways, the evening is all about getting the party started and sowing your wild oats before those New Year’s resolutions kick in. —Andrew Crisp 9:30 p.m., $3. Liquid Lounge, 405 S. Eighth St., Ste. 110, 208-287-5379, liquidboise.com.

BOISEweekly | DECEMBER 28, 2011 – JANUARY 3, 2012 | 23

NEWS/ARTS ARTS/VISUAL OS A IM AGES

FIT FOR THE KING OF POP Iris Haussler, Svalbard Sketch, 2010, ink and melting glacier water on paper, courtesy the artist.

WINTER INSPIRATION Thin Ice: Journeys in Polar Regions, a new exhibit at the Sun Valley Center for the Arts, features work from numerous artists, as well as early explorers, all of whom have been to the world’s polar regions. The multidisciplinary show—which opened Dec. 9—includes images taken by some of the first explorers, as well as photography by Subhankar Banerjee, drawings by Anna McKee, an installation by Kim Baranowski, sketchbooks from Iris Haussler, handmade Arctic “bookworks” by Rachel Hazell and paintings by Mark Thompson. The center is also hosting photographs by Ann Puchner from her time on Baffin Island, as well as a selection of Inuit art from the private collection of Ketchum resident Page Klune. The center is also hosting a series of lectures and events, including poet and novelist Gretel Ehrlich on Thursday, Jan. 5, a screening of Werner Herzog’s film Encounters at the End of the World on Wednesday, Jan. 11, and photojournalist James Balog on Thursday, Jan. 19. Thin Ice will hang at the center’s Ketchum facility through Saturday, Feb. 4. For more info, check out sunvalleycenter.org. Speaking of artistic inspiration, the City of Boise Department of Arts and History is looking for a few artists who want to put their own designs on some downtown Boise traffic boxes. Anyone interested in the chance to create a mural should submit 10 digital examples of past work along with a letter of interest and a resume to the department by 4 p.m. on Thursday, Feb. 16. A selection committee will choose 16 artists, each of whom will be paid $1,000 to design one community-related mural. Send applications to Traffic Box Project, c/o Karen Bubb, Public Arts Manager, Boise City Department of Arts and History, P.O. Box 500, Boise, ID 83701-0500. For more info, call 208-433-5677 or email kbubb@ cityofboise.org. Here’s another event to mark down on your calendar: The Cabin will host its inaugural Celebrities in Jeopardy fundraiser on Friday, Feb. 24, at the Egyptian Theatre. Rather than the usual dinner/silent auction/concert combo, Celebrities in Jeopardy will feature local celebrities squaring off in a quiz show/literary comedy routine emceed by authors Anthony Doerr and Alan Heathcock and overseen by Judge Stephen Trott. The event promises silly questions, prizes, surprises and a little music. Tickets will cost $35, $60 or $100, and will go on sale in early January at The Cabin, 801 S. Capitol Blvd. For more info, call 208-3318000 or visit thecabinidaho.org. —Deanna Darr

Cirque du Soleil presents Michael Jackson: The Immortal World Tour AMY ATKINS Michael Jackson sold hundreds of millions of records during his lifetime. Even after his death in 2009, Jackson’s estate is estimated to have earned more than $1 billion, with $383 million of that attributed to record sales. Jackson’s posthumous popularity gets another boost thanks to the Montreal-based Don’t miss Cirque du Soleil’s latest thriller: Michael Jackson The Immortal World Tour. Cirque du Soleil, whose combination of theatrics and jaw-dropping acrobatics have made it almost as well known as Jackson. The nearly 30 years. Ten choreographers lent their Jackson’s voice—is performed live. Of the company’s current show, Michael Jackson: 12-member band, five toured or recorded with talents, each taking a section of Immortal. The The Immortal World Tour, which moonwalks Jackson, including drummer Jonathan Moffett, production spent several weeks at the Mandainto Boise’s Taco Bell Arena on Tuesday, Jan. lay Bay in Las Vegas, where at the end of this 3, 2012, (the Wednesday, Jan. 4 show has been who played in the Jackson 5. “We have that knowledge and that expertise tour, a theater will be built for a different, but canceled due to Cirque du Soleil scheduling permanent, version of the show. The tour will from people who spent time with Michael,” conflicts) should keep both in the public eye last a total of about three-and-a-half years with Charbonneau said. “It’s a privilege [for them] for a few more decades. more than 200 full-time cast and crew. Jackson’s life—and certainly his death—was to be part of such a production and continue Along with the performers and musicians, comparable to a circus as a frenzy of paparazzi Michael Jackson’s legacy. … They’re all older the show employs its own caterers and 44 fullsurrounded him from the time he was a young guys, but they’re having a blast performing on time drivers for the trucks and buses needed this show and making sure Michael’s music is child in the Jackson 5. His awkward marriage to move such an extensive touring production. properly represented.” to Lisa-Marie Presley, accusations of child Taco Bell Arena marketing manager McQ OlThe music is not only well represented molestation, the amusement-park atmosphere sen compared it to “a small village” and said but is one of the stars of the show. For some of Neverland Ranch, his plastic surgeries—evthat the arena began planning for Immortal that spotlight comes at the expense of a story. erything Jackson did or said was of interest to more than nine months ago. Olsen said that Cirque du Soleil shows usually have a central fans and detractors. Cirque du Soleil is a well oiled machine and His oddness often overshadowed his music, theme and Immortal’s lack of narrative has mostly self contained—this is the third Cirque but it is because of his music that he still reigns been an issue for a number of reviewers. The Los Angeles Times wrote, “Instead of properly show to come to the Taco Bell Arena. It’s a as the King of Pop. According to Maxime boost not only for the arena but for the local capturing the wonder and talent of Michael Charbonneau, Cirque du Soleil’s publicist, economy as well. Jackson, Cirque du Soleil’s ‘Immortal’ serves a Jackson’s persona and his iconic catalog made “All of the talent will [stay the night] him a natural fit for Cirque du Soleil’s particu- heavy dose of Las Vegas gaudiness.” locally, which is good for all the hotel space However, a larger-than-life tribute to Jacklar brand of entertainment. they’ll take up while they’re here,” Olsen said. son by the almost mythical Cirque du Soleil “This is a massive, massive arena-touring He also explained that Taco Bell Arena is seems apropos and Immortal director Jamie show production,” Charbonneau said. “It’s happy to be able to hire some people, even if King seems not to have wanted to tell a tale a hybrid between a pop-rock concert and a only for a night. but to let Jackson’s music speak for itself. Cirque du Soleil production. You’re going “We employ ushers, security, stagehands King—who toured as a dancer with Jackto get both worlds: the dancing and the live and concessions workers. It’s interesting to music mixed with Cirque du Soleil’s all original son in the early ’90s and who has directed sit back and think, ‘Wow, look at the impact tours for Madonna costumes and acrobatthat the arena is having on the lives of a lot and Celine Dion, ics. This show is not of folks.’” among others—also just acrobatics, though. Cirque du Soleil’s Michael Jackson The ImJackson and his music continue to have wanted Jackson’s muYou’re going to get mortal Word Tour: Tuesday, Jan. 3, 2012, an impact, as evidenced by the popularity of sic to be as authentic great dancing, too.” 8 p.m., $50-$250. Immortal. Forbes reports that since it opened as possible. With full The 65-member TACO BELL ARENA in October, it is “already approaching $100 approval from the full-time cast (none of 1910 University Dr. million in ticket sales.” And while the financial Jackson Family Estate whom have understud208-426-1900 tacobellarena.com benefits of Immortal could certainly be a moti(which is underwrities) includes French vator, according to Charbonneau, the inspiraing the show), King dance phenoms Larry tion comes from a much-simpler place. obtained the original and Laurent Bour“I’ve worked many Cirque du Soleil shows recordings of Jackson’s voice. He stripped geois—better known as Les Twins—as well but on this show, all of the artists have said away the music and remixed all of the songs, as a one-legged breakdancer. As acrobats fly they’re here for one reason: They’re here for keeping all of Jackson’s vocals totally intact. through the air, dancers fill the stage in cosThere are three backup singers in the show but Michael,” Charbonneau said. “And that’s tumes that light up, along with a giant white quite unique. On all the other shows, we all of Jackson’s parts are sung only by him. glove. Hits like “Billie Jean” and lesser-known create a concept. This show is about only On many levels, Immortal is one of the songs like “I Just Can’t Stop Loving You” fill largest shows Cirque du Soleil has put on in its Michael Jackson.” the arena. And all of the music—except for

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BRACKET BUSTERS The best movies of 2011 GEORGE PRENTICE I can’t give you my Top 10 favorite movies of the year. I can give you Nos. 2, 4, 6, 8, 16 or even 32. With a tip of the hat to college basketball’s March Madness, here’s my second annual movie bracket. The elite eight, alphabetically, are Albert Nobbs, The Artist, Bridesmaids, The Descendants, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, Margin Call, Midnight in Paris and Shame. Ultimately, I came up with The Artist and Midnight in Paris as my two top ﬁlms. The best of the best? The Artist, opening in Boise on Jan. 20, 2012. No movie gave me more joy, which was in pretty short supply in 2011.

The Ar tist

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NYT CROSSWORD | AGAIN? BY PATRICK MERRELL / EDITED BY WILL SHORTZ 6 One with eyes for a cook? 10 Implied

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33 March sisters’ creator 37 Threatened ferociously 39 Conservative 40 Take the plunge 41 Southwest natives 42 “No introduction needed” phrase 45 Soft-spoken prayer ending? 48 Build a publishing empire? 53 Mosaicist, e.g. 54 First Arab country to have sanctions imposed on it by the Arab League 56 Poet Pablo 57 Radioactivity unit 59 Mag space seller, e.g. 62 Golf cup name 63 Not just my 66 Practical joke used on squirrels? 70 Things may be picked up with this 71 Cohesion 74 Brown, maybe 75 Highlighter colors, often 78 Catholic university in Philly 80 County on one side of the Golden Gate Bridge 83 Hauled, in a way 87 What sweaty dancers create at an annual awards show? 90 Rush to get on the train? 92 Jewish mourning period 93 Dwarf with a purple hat 94 Arm part 95 Mein ___ 98 Like some cookware 101 “Lumber” collector in a park 103 Where worms don’t last long? 106 It’s found between the shoulders 108 Rubber man? 109 Lunch inits. 110 “Consider it done!” 115 Air pump setting: Abbr. 116 What black holes swallow to bulk up? 119 “Horatio, thou art ___ as just a man …” 120 “___ ride”

121 10E and 40 long, e.g. 122 Former Red Sox star Garciaparra 123 Lines with crossings: Abbr. 124 Utopias 125 Mai ___ (drinks) 126 Purchase that’s canceled

DOWN 1 Fashion 2 “No guarantees” 3 “Yikes!” 4 Mil. unit below a division 5 Give a shot 6 A to Z, e.g. 7 University of ___, where Andrea Bocelli earned a law degree 8 Italian article 9 Engulfs 10 It may get stuck in an eye 11 Small batteries 12 Desert and rain forest 13 Material in old mahjongg sets 14 Common break hour 15 Kook 16 Less stressful 17 Brit’s bumbershoot 19 Neglect 23 Trapped like ___ 24 Shore bird 29 Some terra cotta 31 Precipitating 32 Drink for a toddler 33 Unwanted swimming pool bit 34 What rakes may do 35 Tilt 36 Kind of disc 38 Unidentified people 41 Marx Brothers, e.g. 43 Yahoo! alternative 44 FEMA part: Abbr. 46 The Tigers of the N.C.A.A. 47 Tombstone figure 48 2000 musical with the song “Every Story Is a Love Story” 49 Singer Anthony 50 Bro 51 13th, at times

52 40 million-member org. founded in 1958 55 Not so prevalent 58 Cleanup org. 60 Gigayear 61 Fairly 63 Unseat 64 “For ___ us a child …” 65 Rembrandt van ___ 67 Shoe named for a cat 68 LAX data 69 Romance novelist Roberts 72 Geoffrey the Giraffe’s store 73 “I suppose so” 76 Core 77 Paid sports spectator 79 Title of veneration 81 Justin Bieber and others 82 Ponytail locale 84 Newsman Marvin or Bernard 85 Cube creator Rubik 86 When Juno and Gold Beach were assaulted 88 Think too much of 89 “Look ___ hands!” 91 They’re often sold by the dozen

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93 One who works with canines 95 Hold back 96 It gets the lead out 97 Prepares a bow, with “up” 99 Monastery heads 100 Casting locale 101 Naked 102 Festoons 104 Writer Zora ___ Hurston 105 Like much of Fire Island’s shore 107 Decides 110 Foe in the first Indiana Jones film 111 Unseat 112 Certain bean 113 Dutch cheese town 114 Car sticker letters 117 Coal container 118 “Three Days of the Condor” org. Go to www.boiseweekly. com and look under extras for the answers to this week’s puzzle. Don't think of it as cheating. Think of it more as simply doublechecking your answers.

W E E K ’ S

J A N E E R A S W I N K ♯ E N E T I R A T E L A S S L S T ♮ K E A U E Y P E R O S S O C I H E L I S L E C T R S I S T S ♮ E S G L O A E R S

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FREE WILL ASTROLOGY ARIES (March 21-April 19): In North America, a farmer who grows wheat gets only 5 percent of the money earned by selling a loaf of bread made from his crop. When my band recorded an album for MCA, our contract called for us to receive just 7 percent of the net profits. I encourage you to push for a much bigger share than that for the work you do in 2012. It will be an excellent time to raise the levels of respect you have for your own gifts, skills and products—and to ask for that increased respect. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): For much of the 19th century, aluminum was regarded as a precious metal more valuable than gold. It was even used for the capstone of the Washington Monument, dedicated in 1884. The reason? Until the 1890s, it was difficult and expensive to extract aluminum from its ore. Then, new technology made the process very cheap. In 2012, Taurus, I’m predicting a metaphorically similar progression in your own life. An asset will become more freely available to you because of your increased ability to separate it from the slag it’s mixed with. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): The coming year will be a good time for you to consider investigating the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Devotees of this religion call themselves Pastafarians. Their main dogma is the wisdom of rejecting all dogma. Having such a light-hearted approach to spiritual matters would be quite healthy for you to experiment with. You could draw inspiration from a church member named Niko Alm, who convinced authorities to allow him to wear a pasta strainer on his head for his driver’s license photo. Having a jaunty approach to official requirements and formal necessities will also serve you well. CANCER (June 21-July 22): Terrence Malick’s Tree of Life is an ambitious work that deviates from formulaic approaches to filmmaking. Some observers hated its experimental invocation of big ideas, while others approved. New York Times critic A.O. Scott compared the movie to Herman Melville’s Moby Dick, one of America’s great works of literature. Here’s what Scott wrote: “Mr. Malick might have been well advised to leave out the dinosaurs and the trip to the afterlife and given us a delicate chronicle of a young man’s struggle with his father and himself. And perhaps Melville should have suppressed his philosophizing impulses and written a lively tale of a whaling voyage.” Using this as a template, Cancerian, I urge you to treat 2012 as a time when you will be like Melville and Malick in your chosen field. Trust your daring, expansive vision.

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LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): I love the way they celebrate the new year in Stonehaven, Scotland. A procession of revelers swings big flaming baskets around on the ends of long chains. I recommend that you carry out a comparable ritual as you barge into 2012, Leo. Symbolically speaking, it would set the perfect tone. The coming months should be a kind of extended fire festival for you—a time when you faithfully stoke the blaze in your belly, the radiance in your eyes and the brilliance in your heart. Are you ready to bring all the heat and light you can to the next phase of your master plan? I hope so. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Historian David McCullough wrote The Greater Journey, a book telling the stories of ambitious young American artists who relocated to Paris between 1830 and 1900. They had to move away because their home country had no museums or art schools at that time. You Virgos may want to consider seeking a similar enlargement of your possibilities in the coming months. As you seek the resources that will help you follow your dreams, be prepared to look beyond what you already know and what’s immediately available. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Professional basketball player Ron Artest petitioned the court to let him change his name to “Metta World Peace.” “Metta” is a Buddhist term that signifies loving-kindness and benevolence. When the new moniker finally became official, Metta World Peace sealed a radical shift away from his old way of doing things, symbolized by the time he leaped into the stands in the middle of a game to punch a fan in the head. The coming months will be an excellent time for you Libras to initiate a rite of passage that will expedite an equally dramatic transformation. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Many of the questions we had as children never got resolved or answered to our satisfaction. They still remain marinating in the back of our minds. Meanwhile, fresh queries keep welling up within us as the years go by. After a while, we have a huge collection of enigmas, riddles and conundrums. Some of us regard this as a tangled problem that weighs us down, while others see it as a sparkly delight that keeps making life more interesting. Where do you stand on the issue, Scorpio? If you’re in the latter group, you will be fully open to the experiences that will be flowing your way in 2012. And that means you will be blessed with a host of sumptuous and catalytic new questions.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): The first half of 2012 will be an excellent time to for you to exorcize any prejudices you might be harboring toward anyone who lives or thinks differently from you. You’ll be able to see your own irrational biases with exceptional clarity and are also likely to have exceptional success at scouring yourself free of them. This will give you access to new reserves of psychic energy you didn’t even realize you were shut off from. (P.S. I’m not saying you possess more intolerance or narrow-mindedness than any of the rest of us. It’s just that this is your time to deal brilliantly with your share of it.) CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): In Botticelli’s painting “The Birth of Venus,” the goddess of beauty and love is shown arriving on dry land for the first time after having been born in the ocean. Naked, she is trying to cover her private parts with her hand and thigh-length hair. Her attendant, a fully clothed nymph, is bringing a cloak to cover her up. Analyzing this scene, art critic Sister Wendy suggests it’s actually quite sad. It symbolizes the fact that since we humans can’t bear the confrontation with sublime beauty, we must always keep it partly hidden. Your assignment in the coming year, Capricorn, is to overcome this inhibition. I invite you to retrain yourself so that you can thrive in the presence of intense, amazing and transformative beauty. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): The coming months will be an excellent time to take an inventory of your life to determine whether there are any ways in which you act like a slave. Do you find it hard to defeat an addiction that weakens your ability to live the life you want? Are there institutions that you help sustain even though they cause harm to you and others? Is it hard for you to change or end your relationships with people who are no damn good for you? Are you trapped in a role or behavior that is at odds with your high ideals? Discover what these oppressors are, Aquarius—and then summon all your intelligence and willpower to escape them. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): California engineer Ron Patrick put a jet engine in his silver VW Beetle. Now he’s got a 1,450-horsepower vehicle—but it’s not legal for him to drive on public highways. In the coming year, Pisces, I suspect you’ll be tempted to try something similar: create a dynamic tool with a modest appearance or a turbocharged source of energy in a deceptively small package. But if you do, please make sure that you can actually use it to improve your ability to get around and make your life better.

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