Boise Weekly Vol. 21 Issue 04

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LOCAL, INDEPENDENT NEWS, OPINION, ARTS AND ENTERTAINMENT WWW.BOISEWEEKLY.COM VOLUME 21, ISSUE 04 JULY 18–24, 2012

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TAK EE E ON E! NEWS 8

TOUGH CALL Insurance costs vs. a little more time for one Idaho woman FEATURE 11

END OF DAYS The apocalypse: a history, a few predictions and why some people obsess over it REC 30

APOCALYPTIC SURVIVAL SKILLS How to shoot a zombie, poop like a cat and build a signal fire BEER GUZZLER 32

A FINAL TOAST The best apocalyptic brews

“I don’t think the world is going to end, but I think we’re in for some real trouble.”

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BW STAFF Publisher: Sally Freeman Sally@boiseweekly.com Office Manager: Shea Sutton Shea@boiseweekly.com Editorial Editor: Rachael Daigle Rachael@boiseweekly.com Features Editor: Deanna Darr Deanna@boiseweekly.com Arts & Entertainment Editor: Tara Morgan Tara@boiseweekly.com News Editor: George Prentice George@boiseweekly.com New Media Czar: Josh Gross Josh@boiseweekly.com Copy Datatante: Sheree Whiteley Sheree@boiseweekly.com Reporter: Andrew Crisp Andrew@boiseweekly.com Listings: calendar@boiseweekly.com Copy Editor: Jay Vail Interns: Tabitha Bower, Christina Marfice, Amy Merrill Contributing Writers: Harrison Berry, Bill Cope, Randy King, Ted Rall Advertising Advertising Director: Lisa Ware Lisa@boiseweekly.com Account Executives: Sabra Brue, Sabra@boiseweekly.com Karen Corn, Karen@boiseweekly.com Jessi Strong, Jessi@boiseweekly.com Brenda Stroud, Brenda@boiseweekly.com Doug Taylor, Doug@boiseweekly.com Nick Thompson, Nick@boiseweekly.com Jill Weigel, Jill@boiseweekly.com Classified Sales Classifieds@boiseweekly.com Creative Art Director: Leila Ramella-Rader Leila@boiseweekly.com Graphic Designers: Jen Grable, Jen@boiseweekly.com Jennie Jorgenesen, Jennie@boiseweekly.com Contributing Artists: Derf, Jeremy Lanningham, Laurie Pearman, E.J. Pettinger, Ted Rall, Adam Rosenlund, Tom Tomorrow Circulation Shea Sutton Shea@boiseweekly.com Apply to Shea Sutton to be a BW driver. Man About Town: Stan Jackson Stan@boiseweekly.com Distribution: Tim Anders, Jason Brue, Andrew Cambell, Tim Green, Shane Greer, Stan Jackson, Barbara Kemp, Michael Kilburn, Amanda Noe, Northstar Cycle Couriers, Steve Pallsen, Elaynea Robinson, Jill Weigel Boise Weekly prints 30,000 copies every Wednesday and is available free of charge at more than 750 locations, limited to one copy per reader. Additional copies of the current issue of Boise Weekly may be purchased for $1, payable in advance. No person may, without permission of the publisher, take more than one copy of each issue. Subscriptions: 4 months-$40, 6 months-$50, 12 months-$95, Life-$1,000. ISSN 1944-6314 (print) ISSN 1944-6322 (online) Boise Weekly is owned and operated by Bar Bar Inc., an Idaho corporation. To contact us: Boise Weekly’s office is located at 523 Broad St., Boise, ID 83702 Phone: 208-344-2055 Fax: 208-342-4733 E-mail: info@boiseweekly.com www.boiseweekly.com Address editorial, business and production correspondence to: Boise Weekly, P.O. Box 1657, Boise, ID 83701 The entire contents and design of Boise Weekly are ©2011 by Bar Bar, Inc. Editorial Deadline: Thursday at noon before publication date. Sales Deadline: Thursday at 3 p.m. before publication date. Deadlines may shift at the discretion of the publisher. Boise Weekly was founded in 1992 by Andy and Debi Hedden-Nicely. Larry Ragan had a lot to do with it too. Boise weekly is an independently owned and operated newspaper.

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NOTE GUIDE TO THE APOCALYPSE I have a recurring nightmare. Chaos prevails, there’s a war raging, an invasion of some kind has happened, and I’m hiding out in a closet within a closet in my family’s cabin in Garden Valley. From that vantage point, I can see the enemy approaching from a distance through a peep hole I’ve created, but I know they cannot see me. As for the closet within a closet, the door from one into the other is hidden from view by a dresser so should the house be raided, no one would suspect a secret hiding spot behind a dresser in a closet. The thing is, the closet within a closet really does exist. And I do often joke with my parents that if things start to go south, it would be an excellent place to hide out. I never have figured out a practical use for that closet within a closet, but after having read this week’s Citizen interview with Garden Valley real estate agent Gary Craven, I can’t help but think my dream scenario might have been exactly what the home’s designer had in mind when drawing up the plans. So there you have it: Should the “shit hit the fan,” you’ll find me in a closet. In a closet. And the house will look abandoned—likely I’ll throw a foreclosed sign on it (see Rec, Page 30). As for food, I’ll be washing down some SPAM and powdered eggs (see Food, Page 32) with a growler of 10 Barrel Apocalypse IPA (see Beer Guzzler, Page 32) while I sing along to “A Hard Rain’s A Gonna Fall” (see Noise, Page 24) and play apocalypse trivia with the poor sap who gets stuck in the closet with me. Needless to say, it’s a pretty ridiculous issue. However, there’s one story in particular I’d like to draw your attention to—this week’s News piece, “Five Weeks” on Page 8. As you read the story of a young mother who is fighting her insurance company to cover part of her chemotherapy treatment, you might find, as I did, a nasty bit of political hyperbole coming to mind: death panels. As the nation debates the role of government in health care, a woman in Mountain Home has some asking what may be an equally complex question: What is the role of a health-insurance company when it comes to care, particularly when its first concern is to its bottom line rather than its customer? —Rachael Daigle

COVER ARTIST ARTIST: Joe Kimmel TITLE: Blot out the sun MEDIUM: Acrylic on wood. ARTIST STATEMENT: No one lives there or ever did. Vacant talk fills vacant room. A town consipires to take action. Action taken very soon. Made it was in one night new. Lies of course but not me. Lies of course but not to you.

SUBMIT

Boise Weekly pays $150 for published covers. One stipulation of publication is that the piece must be donated to BW’s annual charity art auction in November. Proceeds from the auction are reinvested in the local arts community through a series of private grants for which all artists are eligible to apply. To submit your artwork for BW’s cover, bring it to BWHQ at 523 Broad St. All mediums are accepted. Thirty days from your submission date, your work will be ready for pick up if it’s not chosen to be featured on the cover. Work not picked up within six weeks of submission will be discarded.

BOISEweekly | JULY 18–24, 2012 | 3

WWW.BOISEWEEKLY.COM What you missed this week in the digital world. FAC EB OOK .C OM / R IPJER ETS PEEDYPETER S ON

INSIDE EDITOR’S NOTE

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BILL COPE

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TED RALL

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NEWS Idaho woman fights insurance company to cover her cancer treatment 8 CITIZEN

HONORING AN OLYMPIAN Two upcoming events will be held in memory of Olympic skier Jeret “Speedy” Peterson, who passed away a year ago. Both events will benefit the Speedy Foundation, which will help fund the Idaho Suicide Prevention hot line. Get the details at Cobweb.

VOTING ON TWO WHEELS In the ongoing battle for the Garden City Greenbelt, Citizens for an Open Greenbelt have gathered enough signatures to put two measures on the ballot in November that might see bicycle access along a currently forbidden path.

ONE EXPENSIVE HEADACHE In the wake of a product recall, Excedrin Extra Strength, which usually retails for less than $10, is going for in excess of $200 online. Full story from GlobalPost at boiseweekly.com.

LESBIAN SEX FOR VOTES A lot of promises are made in politics, but comedian Sarah Silverman is promising a Mitt Romney backer lesbian sex to switch candidates. Check it out online.

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FEATURE BW’s Guide to the apocalypse

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BW PICKS

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FIND

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8 DAYS OUT

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SUDOKU

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NOISE What to rock out to in your bunker

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MUSIC GUIDE

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SCREEN Watching the end of the world

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REC Survival skills for the apocalypse

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FOOD Eating for the end days

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BEER GUZZLER

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CLASSIFIEDS

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NYT CROSSWORD

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FREEWILL ASTROLOGY

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BILL COPE/OPINION

THE GREAT WHITE HORSE Red has a new stake in this election

“Red! Look at you all dressed up. White shirt. Tie. Bicycle helmet. What’s all this about? And who’s your young friend?” “Cope, meet my bicycle buddy, Brigham X Aeleahakamonee. He come all the way here from New Provo on one of them Owyhian Islands to spread the word, an’ I’m showing him the ropes of good old Mur’dian. I told ’em I’d do anything they asks me to do, except I had to do it here in Mur’dian so’s I could get home quick if’n the power went out on my meat locker. Now Cope, what don’tcha know about us Latter-day Sainters that you been dyin’ to ask ’bout?” “Uh, hold on, Red. Are you telling me you’re a ... a ...?” “Yup! Nows I am. An’ this’n be the very first day of my mission. It’s supposed to go a couple o’ years, but I’m hopin’ I can get some time shaved off if I bring in a snoot-full of converts.” “But didn’t you belong to the Church of the Holy somethingorother Covenant in the Vineyard of somethingsomething Christ the Ascensioning Adventist? Or something like that.” “I did. Yup, up ’til just a couple weeks ago, I did. Been a member of that church ever since some feller what preaches Sunday nights on public access TV was telling about how the church what I was brought up in is the Whore of Babylawn. Like in the Book of Revulootions, you know? Wull brother Cope, I sure didn’t wanna be part o’ no Whore of Babylawn, so’s I packed my wife and kids over to that Christian church. An’ I gotta admit, it was a dang good ’un. Ever’ Wens’dee night, they run classes on how to build your own storage shed out o’ sod and how to make mighty tasty casseroles out them freeze-dried survival food packets we all stocked up on back when Barack Obama got elected.” “So why’d you go Mormon?” “Cope, the way I figure it, this is the best time ever to be a Mormon. We’re just a months away from having our first LSD president, an’… ” “That’s not at all a sure thing, Red, and I believe you mean ‘LDS.’” “What’d I say? Did I say ‘LSD’ again? Gull durn, that little boner almost kept me outa the fold. Anyway, we’re gonna have our first LDS president … no matter what you say, Cope … an’ he’ll be filling all sort of positions, ya’ know? Appointing securtaries o’ this and that, and chief of who’sit and ambassadors to whatever. And them fellers’ll be filling up their guv’mint buildings with other appointees, and so on, right down the line to what guys get picked to head up things like the Office of Salmonella Inspectors and the Bureau of Indian Casinos. Sos if’n this ain’t a good time to be a Mormon, you tell me when is.” WWW. B OISEWEEKLY.C O M

“Then this is a career decision you’ve made? Sort of like you’re using your newly found faith as, uh ... let’s call it venture capital?” “Wull Cope, where’s it says in the Bible nor the BOM that a man ...” “The ‘BOM’?” “Book of Mormon, idjut. So’s where’s it say a man can’t be a bona fide believer and be trying to move hisself up in the world at the same time. An’ besides, it ain’t all just about getting a better job. You ever heard of the White Horse, Cope? The White Horse what will come an’ save America from total ruination in the nick o’ time?” “Uh-huh. I’ve heard of it, the White Horse Prophecy made by Joseph Smith ... supposedly.” “Yup. Old Joe said there’d come a day when the Constitution’ll be hanging by a skinny, skinny thread. No bigger than a hair off’n your fanny, Cope! An’ it’ll take a White Horse to come roarin’ in and save the whole kit’n’caboodle. Wull, don’t you see how the Constitution is hangin’ by a skinny thread right now?” “Let me guess. You see Mitt Romney as the White Horse. Right?” “Wull think ’bout it. Is there anyone whiter? And he’s got a horse! See what I’m gettin’ at? That fancy dancin’ horse o’ his? I don’t imagine the horse is what’s gonna save the country. I think old Joe Smith meant that a white feller is the White Horse, even if the horse he rides in on is brown. An’ I’m guessing if old Joe were alive today, it’d be the ‘White Cadillac Prophecy.’ But hows can you not see the writing on the wall, Cope? It’s right there in front of ya.” “Red, you know, don’t you, that even the Mormon poobahs don’t acknowledge the White Horse Prophecy? There is controversy over whether Smith even said it.” “Yeah, that’s what they tell outsiders. But to the true-blue Sainters like me and Brigham X here, see … we know when to know when them church elders are saying things just to make you gentilers stop claimin’ we’re out to take over the world. And we knows how what they really believe in is just the opposite of what they say they don’t believe in. See how that works? They tells you how the White Horse ain’t part of no church doctorin’, and that tells us the White Horse is definitely part of church doctorin’. Un’erstand?” “Understood. And Red, I know exactly the government job you should be positioning yourself for. You know … for when all those appointments start coming down.” “What’s that?” “You’d be the perfect man to head up the Office of White Horse Puckey Pickup. And all you’d need for the job is a scoop shovel and a wheelbarrow. Get it?” “Har har, Cope. Big har har.”

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OPINION/TED RALL

SERVICE, PLEASE

Congress should mandate phone reps If you’re like me, you travel a lot. And if you’re on Facebook, odds are that you’ve been locked out of your account because you logged in from an “unfamiliar location.” Facebook’s test to make you prove you are who you say you are is bizarre: It shows you random pictures of your Facebook “friends” and ask you to identify them. Most of my “friends” are readers of my cartoons and books. I don’t know their faces. Moreover, not all of my “friends’” photos are of themselves. One Facebook test—I kept failing—presented me with pictures of potted plants. Why does Facebook freak out when I log in from San Diego while Citibank allows me to move money using no more than a password—from Taliban-controlled Afghanistan? During my third week of Facebook Lockout Month, I tried to call the company to ask that question and plead my case. I couldn’t. Facebook doesn’t have a service number. Some tech companies have phone numbers, but there’s no way to talk to a live human. “Twitter’s system hangs up after providing Web or email addresses three times,” Amy O’Leary reported in the New York Times. “At the end of a long phone tree, Facebook’s system explains it is, in fact, ‘an Internet-based company.’ Try email, it suggests.” When tech companies worth $10 billion don’t have a working phone number, you know they’ve taken “drop dead” to a whole new level. “A lot of these companies don’t have enough employees to talk to,” Paul Saffo, a technology forecaster in Silicon Valley, told The Times. “Facebook, for example, has just one employee for every 300,000 users. Its

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online systems process more than 2 million customer requests a day.” Indeed, one of the more troubling aspects of the Internet revolution is that the new tech sector employs far fewer workers per dollar of capitalization than the older industries, such as manufacturing, that it is replacing. Big banks like Goldman Sachs may be profit-sucking vampire squids, yet they’re not nearly as destructive as high-valuation, low-payroll leeches like Twitter and Facebook. General Motors, a company with $39 billion in equity value, directly employs 207,000 people, plus many more indirectly through its suppliers. Facebook has nearly twice the market capitalization ($67 billion) but employs a miserly 1,400 workers. On Wall Street, Facebook is worth more than GM. On Main Street, GM is worth 250 Facebooks. It should be obvious to everyone that companies have a moral obligation to be responsive to the public, and that their duty to provide high-quality customer service increases exponentially as they grow in size. It should be equally obvious that companies that extract billions in profits from the American public have a moral responsibility to hire members of the American public. Clearly, the big tech companies are refusing to meet these minimum standards. We should demand, Congress pass, and the president should sign a law that sets clear standards for customer service by large corporations. For every X number of customers and/ or every Y million dollars of capitalization, there should be one U.S.-based, native Englishspeaking, professional customer service rep waiting to take our calls and help us.

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BOISEweekly | JULY 18–24, 2012 | 7

CITYDESK/NEWS C HR IS TINA M AR FIC E

NEWS LAU R IE PEAR M AN

FIVE WEEKS David Wright, 57, is homeless and spends time in the library to get out of the heat.

Idaho woman, facing mounting debt, appeals to Blue Cross to cover her cancer treatment GEORGE PRENTICE

THE LONG, HOT SUMMER With a dripping towel draped around his neck, David Wright sat in front of a fan in a storage shed at Boise’s Interfaith Sanctuary on July 12, seeking brief reprieve from a sixth-straight day of triple-digit temperatures. Wright is one of hundreds of Boise’s homeless to take advantage of the Sanctuary’s “beat the heat” efforts, by providing shaded areas and distributing hot-weather supplies. “I guess I’m very sensitive to the heat,” said Wright. “It catches me off guard and I drop.” Blistering heat has caused Wright to collapse several times so far this summer. He told Citydesk that his access to medical care was limited, but doctors ruled out any underlying illness, citing Wright’s age, 57, as the major factor in his heat sensitivity. “Recently, it’s been getting worse,” he said. “People close to me say it looks like it’s starting to beat me down.” Jayne Sorrels, Interfaith Sanctuary’s executive director, said “beat the heat” has two main components: “No. 1 is the gathering of supplies for people who are on the street during the day,” she said. “Unfortunately, this is a time when our donations drop off significantly, because people don’t think about homelessness in the summer.” As quickly as they can collect them, sanctuary volunteers are distributing bottled water, sunscreen, hats and visors to the homeless. More importantly, they swing the shelter’s doors open each evening, just as Boise begins to bake. “We open at about the peak time of the heat every night—6 p.m.,” said Sorrels. When the shelter closes at 7 a.m. scores of homeless men, women and children spill back on to Boise’s hot pavement, but the Sanctuary tries to equip each with some of the donated hot-weather supplies. “I think people don’t think about what you do if you don’t have a place to go to stay cool,” said Sorrels. “There are only so many options when you have no money. You might go to the park and sit by the river, but it’s still hot.” Wright said he spends most of his days in the air-conditioned main branch of the Boise Public Library, searching online for work. He picks up odd jobs around town, but because he is unable to work outdoors, his options in the summer become very limited. “It sucks,” he said. “I’m 57. It’s not going to get any better. But without the Sanctuary, I’d be out on the street. I’d be lost.” —Christina Marfice

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Danni Gilbert wants another season. She wants to see the leaves change, to return to Mountain Home High School to meet a new class of students, to possibly watch her 5and 7-year-old daughters open presents under a Christmas tree or to blow out the candles on another birthday cake. But she needs some help. Cancer has made its way into her 39-yearold lungs and liver. Her oncologist, Dr. Dan Zuckerman, knows what to do: administer a biweekly cocktail of chemotherapy complete with Avastin, a drug designed to rob a cancerous tumor of precious blood cells. But Gilbert’s insurance company, Blue Cross of Idaho, won’t pay for the Avastin, ruling that the drug doesn’t meet what it calls a “standard of care.” So instead, Gilbert is faced with shelling out $3,300 every other week for a drug that her physician says is her best bet to prolong her life. Several hours of interviews with Gilbert’s family, friends and caregivers, as well as Blue Cross officials still left key questions unanswered, questions that revealed the greater dilemma of health care in America, no matter what your political leanings may be: UÊ UÊ UÊ

What good is cutting-edge medical care if it can’t be paid for? Who gets to be the final arbiter of how and when treatment is offered? What is the value of life, no matter how short it may be?

Emotions ran high in a series of conversations in which Boise Weekly was given precedent-setting access to Gilbert’s records at St. Luke’s Mountain States Tumor Institute and the Meridian headquarters of Blue Cross of Idaho. What BW discovered was much more than a heartbreaking story of a wife, teacher and mother of two. Danni Gilbert is an everywoman who fears being asked to measure the quality of her life while others measure how long she will ultimately live.

THE CANCER “What do you want to do, babe?” asked James Gilbert on June 21. Danni looked up at her high-school sweetheart, father of her two daughters and husband of 16 years. She was lying down in a MSTI treatment room as she and her husband awaited her biweekly chemo. The Gilberts and Zuckerman were set to proceed with her treatment, until a St. Luke’s associate walked into the room with the news that Blue Cross had

Danni Gilbert sits outside of St. Luke’s Mountain States Tumor Institute with a letter from Blue Cross of Idaho, which denied coverage of a chemotherapy drug that her doctor says could prolong her life.

just denied payment for Avastin. The St. Luke’s employee explained that Gilbert could pay $3,300 for the Avastin or refuse the treatment that Zuckerman was convinced would be her best hope. “What do you want to do?” asked James. Danni and James met in high school in Great Falls, Mont. James always wanted to be a teacher. After a brief but successful career in human resources, Danni eventually followed her husband’s career path. “Danni is always looking out for the little guy,” said James. “And she’s always going to bat for underprivileged kids.” When the Gilberts moved to Idaho in 1997, James took a teaching job in Mountain Home while Danni taught special education at Boise’s Taft Elementary. In 1999, Danni also began working in Elmore County, teaching history, psychology and sociology at Mountain Home High School. James eventually became the assistant superintendent of the Mountain Home School District. Their two daughters were born in 2005 and 2007. Life was good. “We’ve always been in pretty good shape, not fitness freaks but always active,” said Danni. “In 2010, I wanted to compete in the City of Trees marathon so I started running. But after a mile or two, it was difficult to breathe and that’s not like me.” One physician treated Danni for allergies. Another doctor thought it might be asthma. But a CT scan in September 2010 revealed a series of white pockets in her lungs, triggering a biopsy and, in short order, a diagnosis of stage-four colorectal cancer. Danni was stunned but was immediately referred to MSTI and Zuckerman. “Everybody says I have the best doctor available,” she said.

THE CAREGIVER “In many cases, patients diagnosed with stage-four cancer may die in the first six

months. But my single goal is to help Danni live as long and as well as she possibly can,” said Zuckerman, taking a long breath to consider his next statement. “But she knows what she faces. She has no illusions.” Zuckerman, a native of Boise, returned to his hometown to practice oncology after 16 years of education and training in Chicago and Boston. At any given time, he sees hundreds of patients at MSTI. “I’ve treated thousands since I’ve been here,” he said. “I currently have about 100 patients on active chemotherapy and hundreds more in their first five years following chemotherapy.” Zuckerman, married and a father of 5-,7and 9-year-olds, spoke plainly but also experienced more than a few lumps in his throat while talking about his patient. “She’s a young, vibrant woman—married with kids about my age,” he said, taking another long pause. “But she’s fighting for her life. Who can fault a young woman with young kids in the prime of her life?” Shortly after her diagnosis in September 2010, Zuckerman prescribed a chemotherapy regimen of something called Folfiri, a cocktail of drugs and vitamins, along with Avastin, which he said has shown great promise in the 21st century. “In 2004, gold-standard evidence showed that Avastin was robbing tumors of blood vessels,” he said. “That’s a home run.” When BW asked Zuckerman what adding Avastin offered his patient, he took yet another long breath. “Six months,” he said. “Now, that may shock you as a layperson. But I must tell you that six months is a blockbuster. Avastin is not a cure but it is clearly a drug that could prolong life.” Initially, as a first-line treatment, Blue Cross agreed. In fact, the carrier approved payment for the full treatment. The Gilberts’ policy WWW. B O I S E WE E KLY. C O M

NEWS requires $1,500 in annual individual deductible expenses. “The treatment worked very well for Danni,” remembered Zuckerman. Danni’s colorectal cancer abated but the disease made its way to her lung and liver. That’s when Zuckerman began Folfox, a revised chemotherapy regimen for what would be formally labeled as a “second-line treatment,” a regimen that did not include Avastin. “Following what we knew and the base guidelines at the time, we didn’t include Avastin,” said Zuckerman. But a meeting of the nation’s top oncologists as recent as a month ago was a gamechanger, according to Zuckerman, and new hope was on the horizon, or so he thought.

THE CUTTING-EDGE RESEARCH The annual meeting of the American Society of Clinical Oncologists, held in Chicago in early June, attracted more than 30,000 of America’s physicians and cancer specialists. Zuckerman, an ASCO member, said the conference is traditionally a platform for the latest in cancer research. “A presentation at ASCO revealed that Avastin was now having success in second-line treatment,” he said. “This was huge. Needless to say, I was anxious to share the news with Danni but she had already read about it by the time I returned to Boise.” Zuckerman said a control trial had indicated that adding Avastin to the second line of treatment could prolong Danni’s life. “The median age of prolonged life was 1.4 months,” he said. While five weeks may not seem long to most, Zuckerman said Danni would not have the extra five weeks otherwise. “And who knows where Danni is on the curve? Two months? Six more months? She was a strong, healthy woman before this diagnosis and that’s important,” he said but conceded that he was not talking about adding years to his patient’s life. But Zuckerman and Danni’s hope for another season came to a halt on June 21 when Blue Cross said “no” to Avastin for secondline treatment.

THE ARBITER Following Blue Cross’ denial of Avastin as a second-line treatment, Danni’s appeal letter to the insurance company was filled with grief. “I was shocked but also determined to do everything in my power to fight this disease,” wrote Danni. “Never in my wildest dreams did I think that part of this fight would be with my insurance provider.” Blue Cross officials were reluctant to talk to BW about her plight, but after Danni signed a HIPAA waiver, Karen Early, director of corporate communications, and Josh Jordan, corporate communications specialist, sat down for the better part of two hours to discuss what Early agreed was a “dreadful situation.” About 600,000 Idahoans carry Blue Cross of Idaho insurance cards in their wallet. Blue Cross is, by far, the Gem State’s largest carrier, pulling in $1.6 billion in revenues in 2011. WWW. B OISEWEEKLY.C O M

Ninety-six percent of Idaho’s physicians are approved providers in Blue Cross’ network, including Zuckerman, and 100 percent of Idaho’s hospitals, including St. Luke’s and MSTI, are also in the network. When BW told Zuckerman about Blue Cross’ acceptance for an interview, he had a request. “I would ask them to let me do my job,” Zuckerman told BW. “I’m not making things up. This is clear data. I just want to do my job.” But in response, Early said Blue Cross “had a job, too.” “Our job is to act in a way that facilitates hundreds of thousands of people to be able to afford their medical care,” said Early. “It’s our job to make sure that what we pay for has known therapeutic care.” Early revealed that Danni’s appeal process had been bumped all the way up to Dr. Lance Coleman, Blue Cross’ director of medicine, who denied her appeal. Early said Coleman had determined that the standard of care, which according to Blue Cross didn’t include Avastin for second-line treatment, had not been met. “We’ve paid $350,000 for her care for the last two-and-a-half years. It’s not as though Blue Cross hasn’t provided coverage,” she said. “We don’t pay for experimental or investigational drugs.” But Avastin is neither experimental nor investigational. Blue Cross has approved its usage for hundreds of other Idaho cancer patients in first-line care. In fact, Danni’s dilemma may come down to a life-or-death tug-of-war surrounding the words “or” and “and.” Simply put, Avastin’s prescription label recommends the drug’s usage “for first- or second-line treatment.” “That says ‘or,’ not ‘and,’” said Early. “And Dr. Zuckerman is asking for us to approve Avastin for first ‘and’ second line treatment.” If there is a glimmer of hope for Danni and her physician, it may come in new levels of appeals that Early revealed in BW’s interview. “We will offer Dr. Zuckerman and Danni the chance to sit down and talk with our Dr. Coleman,” said Early. “Additionally, we’ll pay for an independent review, outside of our organization, and we’ll be bound by that decision. And we won’t ask that Danni be bound by it in case she still wants to appeal. If an outside investigation reviews all the data and finds in her favor, we’ll pay everything retroactively.” But as BW was going to press on July 18, Danni still faced another $3,300 out-of-pocket bill during her latest chemotherapy treatment. She has even consulted with an attorney about the possibility of divorcing her husband so as not to burden him and their children with mounting debt when she passes. “This is so much more than Danni, more than St. Luke’s, more than Blue Cross,” said Zuckerman. “There are so many people who can’t or won’t bring this fight. I’m so privileged to take care of her. She’s a remarkable woman.”

BOISEweekly | JULY 18–24, 2012 | 9

CITIZEN

GARY CRAVEN JER EM Y LANNINGHAM

PREPARING FOR THE END OF THE WORLD … OR SOMETHING LIKE IT GEORGE PRENTICE

The view from Gary Craven’s window at Garden Valley Homes and Land in Crouch is idyllic. “Pine trees, mountain, blue skies and temperatures in the low 70s,” he said. “God’s country.” But Craven’s view beyond the horizon isn’t pretty at all. In fact, it’s hell on Earth, including possible nuclear conflict, economic collapse and anarchy. Craven, 63, is a “prepper.” He’s not necessarily preparing for the end of the world, but he’s getting ready for all kinds of chaos. In fact, as a real estate broker, Craven offers some Garden Valley properties that he says would be perfect when “the shit hits the fan.”

In your previous profession, you were Ada County’s deputy coroner. Did you spend your days declaring people dead? Deputies do most of the investigations, determining whether a death was natural, accidental, a homicide or suicide. How does a job like that not affect you? To do the job, you have to steel your emotions. Does any of that inform you being a prepper? It does show you the underbelly of society and how things might get out of control. Maybe it affected me that way.

What’s the difference between a prepper and a survivalist? I think a survivalist is a guy that goes out into the woods and survives on his own for no reason. A prepper is someone preparing for what’s coming. I don’t think I’ve heard of a prepper until recently.

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I think the media hung it on people. But there are all different types of preppers, preparing for economic collapse or [electromagnetic pulses]. Which category do you fit into? If you’re a little prepared for almost anything, you have a much better chance of getting through those times. I don’t think the world is going to end, but I think we’re in for some real trouble. If you were to use an analogy of a clock, how close are we to midnight? Right on the edge of the last minute. But I don’t think that’s an end-of-the-world clock. I think there’s going to be a new world. We’ll have a lot of trouble and a lot of people won’t make it through. Do governments and nations fail in that scenario? Absolutely, but they’ll probably be reformed. Plus, I think nature will play a part—more earthquakes, natural disasters. A lot of people aren’t going to be here.

In looking at one of your real estate listings, I see a riverfront retreat in Garden Valley. You say the property is a prepper’s dream. Garden Valley is a perfect place to be away from the big city. Unrestricted property means you can do what you want to do— maybe build an underground shelter. You also write that it’s a good place to be when the shit hits the fan. At least you can be away from the maddening crowd. How worried should we be? Time is growing short. All you have to do is look at Iran, which wants to blow us and Israel off the map. When they get the bomb, they’re going to use it. Do you engage with other preppers? I really don’t share much, and I don’t think other preppers want to share either. It’s not a movement, it’s individuals. For instance, most preppers don’t want anybody else to know if they have a bug-out plan. Why would they even tell other preppers? Are you more nervous than the rest of us? I’m at peace. We shouldn’t panic. It’s pretty smart to prepare in a variety of ways. You can always use stuff that you store away, even if the shit doesn’t hit the fan.

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MIND OVER THE

APOCALYPSE

WHY PEOPLE BUY INTO THE END OF THE WORLD DEANNA DARR | ILLUSTRATIONS BY ADAM ROSENLUND Did a group of ancient Mayans sit around one day and forecast the end of the world, which just so happens to be roughly five months away? Some people think so, just as others were betting that Judgment Day would arrive on May 21, 2011, or—since deciphering cosmic calendars can be understandably tricky—Oct. 21, 2011. Humans were predicting the end of the world long before those ancient Maya were a glimmer on the horizon. And all that time, other people have bought into the idea, absolutely convinced that they would witness the end of days. It’s safe to say that, at least until this point, they were all wrong. But why do people across history and around the world continue to put their lot in with the self-proclaimed prophets who always seem to be predicting one apocalypse or another? It might just be a matter of human nature. WWW. B OISEWEEKLY.C O M

Steven Lawyer, a clinical psychologist who teaches a class on science and pseudoscience at Idaho State University, said that people are often just looking for a little certainty in an uncertain world. “Some people have a real intolerance for uncertainty,” he said. “When you have this uncertainty, it is unsettling to you. ... People need to look for things that are going to lend them a sense of certainty that things are going to happen.” Just what has people feeling uncertain depends on the person, culture and what’s going on in the world, but Lawyer said a reoccurring issue is mankind’s understanding of death. “Existentialists would argue that much of human behavior is based around the meaning of life and trying to understand what 12 happens after death,” he said. “If you grow up in a certain belief system, the idea of the apocalypse generates a certain level of

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predictability.â€? End-of-the-world fears and pre11 dictions aren’t limited by geography or culture; in fact, they’re rather widespread. Whether it was the Ghost Dance (in which a group of American Indians believed that the world would be regenerated and their people returned to an idealistic existence) or the Cargo Cults of Micronesia (who believed that the higher powers would drop cargo from the sky and end their dependence on the white traders who came to their islands), such ideas often arise during times of turmoil within a society, according to anthropologist John Ziker, who teaches at Boise State. Ziker said that during periods of great stress, often a self-proclaimed prophet will arise with a plan and begin attracting recruits looking for someone with answers. That, too, falls in line with human nature, Lawyer said. “We tend to think that there are certain people who have the market cornered on the truth,â€? he said. As like-minded people begin looking for their truth, they form a social connection, whether they know it or not, Ziker said. It also doesn’t hurt that mankind, as a whole, tends to be a bit narcissistic. “Everyone thinks that the apocalypse is going to happen when they are alive,â€? Lawyer said. “It’s the notion that anything big will happen in our time, that this is the important time.â€? Both Lawyer and Ziker agree that while the end of the world has been predicted since the beginning of the world, the degree to which the world is connected has changed the way apocalyptic prophecies and beliefs spread. “There’s a much stronger and easier connection with other cultures,â€? Lawyer said. “It allows us to be aware of events going on around the world that might feed into our beliefs in the end of the world.â€? He said people who believe tend to look for patterns and connections to support their beliefs while ignoring bits of information that are contradictory to those ideas. Psychologists use the term “cognitive dissonanceâ€? to deďŹ ne that oh-so-human habit of making our beliefs ďŹ t what we want them to. “It gets us into trouble all the time,â€? Lawyer said. But what happens when the predicted day of the apocalypse comes and the world just keeps rolling along? While it might be reasonable to think that those who bought in most whole-heartedly to the prediction would be the most angry, research has shown that they are actually the ones most likely to continue their belief, Lawyer said. In the 1950s, social psychologist Leon Festinger made his way into a cult that believed a UFO was going to come and save a few chosen people from the apocalypse. When the mother ship failed to scoop them up, Festinger found that the most hard-core believers were the ones who found excuses for why things didn’t work out as expected. “They ďŹ nd ways to justify their beliefs,â€? Lawyer said. When it comes to the predicted Mayan apocalypse Friday, Dec. 21, Lawyer said it may be that some people have chosen to see the Mayans as a sort of mystical culture. Like many other scientists—who have spoken out that the end of one Mayan calendar does not mean the end of the world and have found other Mayan calendars going beyond Dec. 21—Ziker just smiles in a shaking-his-head kind of way. “There’s a lack of critical thinking,â€? he said, diplomatically.

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GET A HEALTHY DOSE OF

APACO-OPTIMISM THE UPSIDE TO THE APOCALYPSE Contemplating the end of the world can instill a sense of extreme fear, wide-spread panic and a need to get in touch with our inner survivalists. But the only for-sure effect of all the fretting, re-evaluating of religious views, repenting and hoarding is an elevation of bloodpressure levels. Instead of focusing on the sure-to-be-awful things associated with all the apocalypse talk, why not drink that proverbial half-full glass of optimism, channel your inner Pangloss and have your apocalypse sunny side up? According to a May 21 article by New York Times health writer Jane E. Brody, “adults shown to be pessimists based on psychological tests had higher death rates over a 30-year period than those who were shown optimistic.â€? Sure, in the event of an apocalypse, you could be wiped out by robots/zombies/oods/freezing/exploding of the world, rendering the life-preserving effects of optimism irrelevant, but in case you do survive or all this end-ofdays stuff works out to be a bunch of hooey, here are some positive aspects of any event that may wipe out a good chunk of civilization. Roll these around in your noggin’ when hunkered down in your bunker, take some deep breaths, and feel better about the world’s downfall. UĂŠ-Â…ÂœĂ•Â?`ĂŠĂŒÂ…iĂŠ >Ă€ĂŒÂ…ĂŠw˜`ĂŠÂˆĂŒĂƒĂŠi˜`ĂŠĂ›Âˆ>ĂŠ>ĂŠLˆ}ĂŠvĂ€iiâi]ĂŠ ĂƒÂˆÂ“ÂˆÂ?>Ă€ĂŠĂŒÂœĂŠĂŒÂ…iĂŠÂ“ÂœĂ›ÂˆiĂŠ >ÞÊ vĂŒiÀÊ/ÂœÂ“ÂœĂ€Ă€ÂœĂœ]ĂŠ Â?ÂœÂœÂŽĂŠ>ĂŒĂŠĂŒÂ…ÂˆĂƒĂŠĂ•ÂŤĂƒÂˆ`i\ĂŠ/Â…iĂŠ1}}ĂŠLÂœÂœĂŒĂƒĂŠ>˜`ĂŠÂŤĂ•vvÞÊ VÂœ>ĂŒĂƒĂŠĂžÂœĂ•½Ă›iĂŠLiiÂ˜ĂŠĂŒĂ€ĂžÂˆÂ˜}ĂŠĂŒÂœĂŠLĂ€ÂˆÂ˜}ĂŠL>VÂŽĂŠÂˆÂ˜ĂŠ ĂƒĂŒĂžÂ?iĂŠĂœÂˆÂ?Â?ĂŠÂœÂ˜ViĂŠ>}>ÂˆÂ˜ĂŠLiĂŠÂŤÂœÂŤĂ•Â?>Ă€]ĂŠĂƒÂœĂŠĂžÂœĂ•ĂŠV>Â˜ĂŠ Ăœi>Ă€ĂŠĂŒÂ…iÂ“ĂŠĂŒÂœĂŠĂŒÂ…iĂŠ}Ă€ÂœViĂ€ĂžĂŠĂƒĂŒÂœĂ€iĂŠĂœÂˆĂŒÂ…ÂœĂ•ĂŒĂŠÂ?œœŽˆ˜}ĂŠÂ?ˆŽiĂŠ>ĂŠÂ?>âÞÊ*"-ĂŠĂŒÂ…>ĂŒĂŠVÂœĂ•Â?`˜½ĂŒĂŠLiĂŠLÂœĂŒÂ…iĂ€i`ĂŠ ĂŒÂœĂŠÂŤĂ•ĂŒĂŠÂœÂ˜ĂŠĂ€i>Â?ĂŠVÂ?ÂœĂŒÂ…iĂƒ°ĂŠ Â?ĂƒÂœ]ĂŠÂŤÂœÂŤĂƒÂˆVÂ?iĂƒĂŠ>Ă€iĂŠ `iÂ?ˆVÂˆÂœĂ•Ăƒ°ĂŠ ˜`ĂŠĂŒÂ…iÂ˜ĂŠĂŒÂ…iĂ€i½ĂƒĂŠĂŒÂ…iĂŠĂŒÂ…iÂœĂ€ĂžĂŠĂŒÂ…>ĂŒĂŠ LÂœ`Þʅi>ĂŒĂŠvi˜`ĂƒĂŠÂœvvĂŠÂ…ĂžÂŤÂœĂŒÂ…iĂ€Â“Âˆ>]ĂŠĂƒÂœĂŠVĂ•``Â?iĂŠ Ă•ÂŤĂŠĂœÂˆĂŒÂ…ĂŠ>ĂŠVĂ•ĂŒiĂŠVÂœÂ‡ĂƒĂ•Ă€Ă›ÂˆĂ›ÂœĂ€ĂŠĂƒ>Â˜ĂƒĂŠVÂ?ÂœĂŒÂ…ÂˆÂ˜}ĂŠ>˜`ĂŠ Â?Ă•`}“iÂ˜ĂŒ°ĂŠ UĂŠ<œ“LˆiĂƒĂŠV>Ă•ĂƒÂˆÂ˜}ĂŠĂŒÂ…iĂŠi˜`ĂŠÂœvʅՓ>Â˜ÂˆĂŒĂžÂśĂŠ/Ă•Ă€Â˜ĂƒĂŠ

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SHEREE WHITELEY

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JOSH GROSS

NOSTRADAMUS RANKING SCALE HOW LIKELY THEY ARE TO BE “THE ONE.” Nostradamus really liked to predict the end of the world. In fact, it doesn’t seem like he did much else. So when analyzing the myriad threats to Earth and/or humanity—earthquakes, nuclear meltdowns, Justin Bieber riots, etc ...—Ol’ Nosy seems like the most appropriate barometer. Boise Weekly took a list of potential apocalypses and ranked them from 0-10 Nostradamus units, for how likely they are to be “the one.”

ALIENS

BE THE CAUSE

OF THE WORLD

WHAT WILL

THE END

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NATURAL DISASTER

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14 | JULY 18–24, 2012 | BOISEweekly

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>Û ÃÊv Õ `ÊÌ >ÌÊâ L i à ÊÜ>ÃÊà iÌ }Ê > ÊÌ Ê>Ê«À à ÊÃi Ìi ViÊ > `i`Ê` Ü ÊLÞÊ>Ê Ài } ÕÃÊV ÕÀÌÊÌ ÊÃiÌÌ iÊV Û Ê` ëÕÌiÃ]Ê> `ÊÌ >ÌÊ â L i à ÊÜ>ÃÊ ÌÊ>Ê« >}Õi]ÊLÕÌÊ>ÊV ` Ì Ê LÀ Õ} ÌÊ ÊLÞÊV L >Ì ÃÊ vÊL Üwà ÊÌ Ý Ê > `Ê>Ê«ÃÞV i`i VÊVÕVÕ LiÀÊÌ >ÌÊ `ÕViÃÊ>Ê ÌÀ> Vi iÊÃÌ>Ìi°Ê/ iÊâ L iÃÊÜiÀiÊ ÞÊ`i>`Ê Ê>Êà V } V> ÊÃi Ãi]Ê ÊÌ >ÌÊÌ iÞÊÜiÀiÊ ÌÀi>Ìi`Ê>ÃÊ ÕÌV>ÃÌÃ°Ê / iÊÌ> i>Ü>ÞÊvÀ ÊÌ ÃÊ ÃÊÌ >ÌÊâ L i Ã Ê ÃÊ ÌÊ>Ê« >}Õi]ÊV> ÌÊLiÊëÀi>`Ê> `Ê Û ÛiÃÊ âiÀ Ê vÊÌ iÊyiÃ Ê ÀÊLÀ> i>Ì }Ê>VÌ Û Ì iÃÊÌ >ÌÊ > iÊ ÌÊ>Ê«iÀVi Ûi`ÊÌ Ài>Ì°Ê/ iÀiv Ài]ÊÌ iÀiÊ ÃÊ >Là ÕÌi ÞÊâiÀ ÊÌ Ài>ÌÊ vÊ>Êâ L iÊ>« V> Þ«Ãi°

1200 AD

RELIGIOUS

ÌÊ ÃÊ ÌÊ>ʵÕiÃÌ Ê vÊ v]ÊLÕÌÊÜ i Ê>ÀÌ wV > Ê Ìi }i ViÊÜ ÊLiÊVÀi>Ìi`°Ê `ÊÜ i Ê ÌÊ` iÃ]Ê Ì iÀiÊ>ÀiÊÃiÀ ÕÃÊ« à « V> ʵÕiÃÌ ÃÊÌ Ê LiÊ>à i`°Ê Ê«> i Ê vÊiÝ«iÀÌÃÊ Ê ÕÀ «iÊ >ÃÊ> Ài>`ÞÊÕ Ûi i`ÊÌ iÊ, L ÌÊ Ì VÃÊ >ÀÌiÀ]ÊÜ V Ê V> ÃÊv ÀÊ>ÊÀ L ÌÊL Ê vÊÀ } ÌÃ]Êà iÌ }ÊÜ V Ê ÃÊi>ÃÞÊÌ ÊÀ ` VÕ i°Ê ÕÌÊ vÊÀ L ÌÃÊ>ÀiÊÌ Ê ÛiÊ> `Ê Ü À ÊLià `iÊÕÃÊ>ÃÊ>Ê«>À> i ÊëiV iÃp> `Ê iÊ Ì >ÌÊ >ÞÊLiÊÃÕ«iÀ ÀÊÌ ÊÕÃÊ Ê > ÞÊÜ>ÞÃp ÃÌ ÀÞÊÌi ÃÊÕÃÊÌ >ÌÊ ii« }ÊViÀÌ> ÊV >ÃÃiÃÊ ««ÀiÃÃi`Ê iÛ Ì>L ÞÊ i>`ÃÊÌ ÊÀiÛ Ì°Ê / iÊV > ViÃÊ vÊ Õ > ÌÞÊÜ }Ê>ÊÜ>ÀÊ >}> ÃÌÊ>Ê ÀiÊ`ÕÀ>L iÊëiV iÃÊ ÃÊÕ i Þ°Ê -V i ViÊwVÌ Ê iÊ/ iÊ >ÌÀ Ý]Ê >ÌÌ iÃÌ>ÀÊ > >VÌ V>Ê> `Ê ° °Ê>ÀiÊvÕÌÕÀ ÃÌÊÃVi >À ÃÊ>ÃÊ ÕV Ê>ÃÊÌ iÞÊ>ÀiÊ i ÌiÀÌ> i Ì°Ê7 i Ê >ÀÌ wV > Ê Ìi }i ViÊ ÃÊ`iÛi «i`]Ê Õ > ÌÞÊÜ ÊLiÊ v ÀVi`ÊÌ Ê`iV `iÊÜ iÌ iÀÊ 17 Ì Ê ii«Ê ÌÊ

1658 AD } `i>`ÊiÝ« ÀiÀÊ À ÃÌ « iÀÊ Õ LÕÃÊÜ>ÃÊÀ } ÌÊ >L ÕÌÊÌ iÊiÝ ÃÌi ViÊ vÊ iÀ V>]ÊLÕÌÊÜÀ }Ê>L ÕÌÊÌ iÊ`>ÌiÊ iÊLi iÛi`ÊÌ iÊÜ À `ÊÜ Õ `Ê i `\Ê£Èxn]ÊÇ]äääÊÞi>ÀÃÊ>vÌiÀÊ ÌÊÜ>ÃÊVÀi>Ìi`Ê ÊxÎ{ÎÊ ° ÊÊ

1666 AD

À ÃÌ > ÃÊLi iÛi`ÊÌ iÊ «ÀiÃi ViÊ vÊÈÈÈÊ ÊÌ iÊ`>ÌiÊ Ã } > i`ÊÌ iÊi `Ê vÊÌ iÊÜ À `° Ê

1346-1351 AD

1719 AD

/ iÊ >V Ê* >}ÕiÊÜ>ÃÊ ÌiÀ«ÀiÌi`ÊLÞÊ > ÞÊ>ÃÊÌ iÊi `°

>Ì i >Ì V > Ê >V LÊ iÀ Õ Ê

«Ài` VÌi`Ê>ÊV iÌÊÜ Õ `Ê`iÃÌÀ ÞÊÌ iÊ >ÀÌ °Ê Ê

1780 AD - iÊvÀ Êv ÀiÃÌÊwÀiÃÊ> `Ê v }ÊV L i`ÊÜ Ì Ê> Ê> Ài>`ÞÊ V Õ`ÞÊ`>ÞÊÌ ÊÌÕÀ ÊÌ iÊà iÃÊ `>À ]ÊV Û V }ÊÀià `i ÌÃÊ vÊ iÜÊ } > `ÊÌ iÊi `Ê >`Ê V i°

1806 AD / iÊ*À « iÌÊ i Ê vÊ ii`ÃÊLi}> Ê >Þ }Êi}}ÃÊ Li>À }ÊÌ iÊ 17 Ü À`Ãʺ À ÃÌÊ ÃÊ V }°»Ê ÕÌÊ ÌÊ

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Sun Valley On Ice runs Saturday nights through September 1 promising a dazzling new spin on our traditional outdoor ice show under the stars. For show tickets or buffet and show tickets go to seats.sunvalley.com or call 208.622.2135.

July 14

July 28

Alex & Maia Shibutani

Kyoko Ina & John Zimmerman

2011 World Bronze Medalists 2X US Silver Medalists

Adam Rippon 2012 US Silver Medalist 2X World Junior Gold Medalist

July 21 Evan Lysacek 2010 Olympic Gold Medalist World Champion 2X US Gold Medalist

World Bronze Medalists 3X US Gold Medalists

August 4 Johnny Weir World Bronze Medalist 3X US Gold Medalist

Gracie Gold 2012 US Junior Women’s Gold Medalist

Ashley Wagner 2012 US Gold Medalist 2X US Bronze Medalist

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BOISEweekly | JULY 18–24, 2012 | 15

SHOPPING

FOR THE APOCALYPSE WHAT GOOD IS MONEY ANYHOW? GEORGE PRENTICE Shopping for zombie knives, Chinese riot gear and radiation pills gives a whole new meaning to what retailers have called Black Friday. In fact, preppers, survivalists or garden-variety nut jobs envision spending many days perusing scores of online end-of-the-world retailers hawking Mayan wall clocks or Armageddon underwear. When retailers say, “Everything must go,” this time, they may really mean it. “You really can’t tell a prepper by looking at them,” said Dan Turrittin, owner of Boise Army Navy, Boise’s go-to location for survivalist gear. “We’ve probably always had them among us. Let’s face it, most people are just one step away from having all of their camping gear and being a full-blown prepper.” Turrittin should know. As the owner of the landmark store for two years and employee for 25 more, he’s lost count of how many men and women he’s helped put together a bug-out bag for when the big one drops. “Take a look over here,” said Turrittin making his way to what has become known as the bug-out aisle. “We thought about putting together a bag, but most prep-

16 | JULY 18–24, 2012 | BOISEweekly

pers like to make their own. But we still offer some suggestions.” A bright yellow “What In Your Bug Out Bag?” sign stands over bins of first aid kits, pack axes, duct tape, kerosene lanterns, matches, mess kits and MREs. “My guess is that with the bag included, you could put together your own supply for maybe $200 minimum,” said Turrittin. But for every serious prepper, there’s also someone that is, let’s just say, off the boil. “We have some bleeding zombies for target practice, and this particular knife is from our zombie line,” said Turrittin, pointing to a $50 Ka-bar blade that was more machete than knife. Armageddon is apparently recession proof, or at least as close as any business can be. “We sure weather some bad economic times, certainly more than others have,” said Turrittin. He’s hoping that the end of days is later, rather than sooner. Business is that good. Ê

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ÃÊ ÞÊ>Ê >ÌÌiÀÊ vÊÌ iÊÕ Ì Ê iÊ ÃÊ`iÛi «i`Ê `i«i `i ÌÊ vÊÌ iÊ1 Ìi`Ê >Ì ÃÊ-iVÕÀ ÌÞÊ

Õ V °Ê `ÊÜ iÊ ÞÊÌ iÊÃÕ V `> ÊÜ Õ `Ê `iÌ >ÌiÊ i]Ê> Ê ÌÊÌ> iÃÊ ÃÊ i°Ê `ÊÌ iÀiÊ ÃÊ Êà ÀÌ>}iÊ vÊ« ÜiÀ Õ }ÀÞÊÃÕ V `> Ê«i « iÊ Ê Ì iÊÜ À `°

BIOSPHERE COLLAPSE

/ iÊ >ÀÌ Ê ÃÊ iÊ>Ê >V i]ÊÜ Ì ÊiÛiÀÞÌ }Ê Ê ÌÊÃiÀÛ }ÊÌ iÊÀ iÊ vÊ>ÊV }Ê ÀÊ« iViÊ vÊà iÊ Ã ÀÌ°Ê7 >ÌÊ > iÃÊ Õ > ÌÞÊÕ µÕiÊvÀ Ê Ì iÀÊ Ã«iV iÃÊ Ê >ÀÌ Ê ÃÊÌ >ÌÊÜiÊ>ÀiÊÌ iÊ ÞÊ iÃÊ Ì >ÌÊÀ> ` ÞÊ« ÕV Ê« iViÃÊ ÕÌÊ vÊÌ iÊi } iÊ ÀÊÌ À ÜÊ Ì iÀÊ« iViÃÊ vÊy ÌÃ> ÊL>V Ê °Ê7iÊ VÀi>ÌiÊV « Õ `ÃÊÌ >ÌÊiÝ ÃÌÊ ÕÌà `iÊ vÊÌ iÊ iV } V> Ê «Ê>ÌÊ>ÊvÀ } Ìi }Ê«>Vi]ÊÃiÌÌ }Ê Ì iÊÃÌ>}iÊv ÀÊ>ÊÛ V ÕÃÊ` ÊivviVÌ°Ê

ECONOMIC COLLAPSE

NUCLEAR WAR

1954 AD

1998 AD

2240 AD

Õ ÌÊ i>`iÀÊ À Ì ÞÊ >ÀÌ Ê V > i`Ê>Êy `ÊÜ>ÃÊV }Ê > `ÊÌ >ÌÊ iÀÊv ÜiÀÃÊÜ Õ `Ê LiÊÀiÃVÕi`ÊLÞÊ>Ê1 "°Ê- ÀÌ ÞÊ >vÌiÀÊ ÌÊ` ` ½ÌÊà Ü]Ê >ÀÌ Ê ÀiVi Ûi`Ê>Ê iÃÃ>}iÊvÀ ÊÌ iÊ > i ÃÊÌ >ÌÊ `Êë>Ài`ÊÌ iÊ Ü À `ÊLiV>ÕÃiÊ vÊÌ iÊ} `Ê Ü À Ê` iÊLÞÊÌ iÊ}À Õ«°Ê

`½ÃÊ-> Û>Ì Ê ÕÀV Ê i>`iÀÊ }Ê i ÊÃ> `ÊÌ >ÌÊ `Ê Ü Õ `Ê>ÀÀ ÛiÊ Ê >ÀÌ Ê Ê>Ê yÞ }ÊÃ>ÕViÀÊ> `ÊÌ i Ê>««i>ÀÊ ÊV > i Ê£nÊ vÊ> Ê iÀ V> Ê /6ÊÃiÌð

/ iÊÞi>ÀÊÌ >ÌÊ >À ÃÊÈ]äääÊ Þi>ÀÃÊà ViÊÌ iÊVÀi>Ì Ê vÊ `> Ê Ê"ÀÌ ` ÝÊ iÜÀÞ]Ê Ü V Ê ÃÊÌ iÊÌ iÊÜ i ÊÌ iÊ iÃà > ÊÜ ÊV i°Ê/ iÊÜ À `Ê >ÞÊi `ÊÜ Ì Ê£]äääÊÞi>ÀÃÊ vÊ Ì >ÌÊ >««i }°

1969 AD

>À iÃÊ > Ã Ê À`iÀi`Ê>Ê ÃiÀ iÃÊ vÊ ÕÀ`iÀÃÊÌ Ê Õ « ÃÌ>ÀÌÊÌ iÊ>« V> Þ«Ì VÊÀ>ViÊÜ>À°Ê ÌÊ` ` ½ÌÊÜ À Ê ÕÌÊiÝ>VÌ ÞÊ iÊ iÊ« > i`°

14

ÌÕÀ i`Ê ÕÌÊÌ >ÌÊÌ iÊ i ½ÃÊ Ü iÀÊÜ>ÃÊÜÀ Ì }Ê ÊÌ iÊi}}ÃÊ Ü Ì Ê ]ÊÌ i ÊÃ Û }ÊÌ i Ê L>V Ê ÊÌ iÊV V i °Ê

1814 AD -i v `iÃVÀ Li`Ê«À « iÌÊ > >Ê - ÕÌ V ÌÌÊÃ> `Êà iÊÜ Õ `Ê} ÛiÊ L ÀÌ ÊÌ Ê iÃÕÃÊ Ê À ÃÌ >Ã°Ê ÃÌi>`]Êà iÊ` i`Ê ÊÌ >ÌÊ`>Þ°Ê/ iÊ È{ Þi>À `ÊÜ>ÃÊ ÌÊ«Ài} > Ì°

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1 ]Ê` ½ÌÊ ÜÊ vÊÞ ÕÊ Ì Vi`Ê ÀÊ Ì]ÊLÕÌÊ Ì ÃÊ ÃÊ >««i }Ê>À Õ `ÊÞ ÕÊÀ } ÌÊ Ü°Ê iÞ `Ê ÕÃÌÊÌ iÊw > V > ÊV >«Ãi]ÊÌ iÊ` } Ì> Ê>}iÊÜiÊ >ÀiÊ ÊÌ iÊ `ÃÌÊ vÊ ÃÊ> ÊiV VÊ> `Êà V iÌ> Ê V > }iÊ >À}iÀÊ> `Êv>ÃÌiÀ Û }ÊÌ > ÊÌ iÊ `ÕÃÌÀ > ÊÀiÛ ÕÌ °Ê " iÊ vÊÌ iÊ > ÀÊivviVÌÃÊ ÃÊÌ >ÌÊÌiV }ÞÊ ÃÊ>VÌ Ûi ÞÊÕ `iÀ }ÊÌ iÊ`i > `Êv ÀÊ >L À]Ê Ü V Ê Ã]Ê ÊÌÕÀ ]ÊÕ `iÀ }ÊÌ iÊV ÃÕ iÀÊ

> >½ Ê i>`iÀÊ i > `Ê i Ãi Ê V > i`ÊÌ >ÌÊ > iÞ½ÃÊ iÌÊ Ü Õ `ÊVÀ>Ã Ê Ì ÊÌ iÊ >ÀÌ Ê Ê «À ÊÓ ]Ê£ nn°

ÌÊ ÃÊV ÞÊLi iÛi`ÊÌ >ÌÊ

À i> Ê7>ÀÊ ÃÊÌ iÊL>ÌÌ iÊ vÊ À >}i`` °Ê ÌÊ ÃÊ Ì°

1892 AD *ÞÀ> `ÊÀiÃi>ÀV iÀÊ >À iÃÊ* >ââ Ê - ÞÌ ÊV > i`ÊÌ iÊ` i à ÃÊ vÊ Ì iÊ Ài>ÌÊ*ÞÀ> `Ê vÊ â>Ê >`iÊ

1910 AD Ài V Ê>ÃÌÀ iÀÊ > iÊ > >À ÊÃ> `ÊÌ iÊV }Ê vÊ > iÞ½ÃÊ iÌÊÜ>à ½ÌÊiÝ>VÌ ÞÊÌ iÊ >« V> Þ«ÃiÊ«iÀÊÃi]ÊLÕÌÊ ÌÊ } ÌÊ `iÃÌÀ ÞÊ> Ê viÊ Ê >ÀÌ °

2003 AD 7 ÃV à ÊÜ > Ê > VÞÊ i`iÀÊÃ> `ÊÌ >ÌÊÌ iÊLÀ> Ê « > ÌÊ Ã iÊÀiVi Ûi`ÊvÀ Ê> i ÃÊÌ `Ê iÀÊÌ >ÌÊÌ iÞÊÜ Õ `ÊÀi> } ÊÌ iÊ >ÀÌ ½ÃÊ« iÃ]Ê }Ê ÃÌÊ vÊ Õ > ÌÞ°

500 MILLION AD / iÊÞi>ÀÊÌ iÊ iÛi Ê vÊV>ÀL Ê ` Ý `iÊ ÊÌ iÊ>Ì Ã« iÀiÊÜ Ê > iÊ >ÀÌ ÊÕ >L Ì>L i]Ê>VV À` }ÊÌ Ê}i ÃV i Ì ÃÌÊ > iÃÊ >ÃÌ }°

/i iÛ> }i ÃÌÊ*>ÌÊ, LiÀÌÃ Ê >}> ÊÜÀ } ÞÊ«Ài` VÌi`ÊÌ iÊ >ÀÌ ½ÃÊ`iÃÌÀÕVÌ °

1991 AD

i> Ê >Ãi]Ê>Ê > >½ Ê i>`iÀ]Ê Ã> `ÊÌ >ÌÊ>Ê ÕV i>ÀÊL LÊ Ü Õ `Ê`iÃÌÀ ÞÊ iÜÊ9 À ]Ê v Üi`ÊLÞÊÌ iÊL>ÌÌ iÊ vÊ À >}i`` Ê{äÊ`>ÞÃÊ >ÌiÀ°

1994 AD > ÞÊ,>` ÊiÛ> }i ÃÌÊ >À `Ê > « }Ê«Ài` VÌi`Ê Ì iÊ,>«ÌÕÀiÊÜ Õ `ÊV iÊ Ê -i«Ìi LiÀÊ vÊÌ >ÌÊÞi>À°Ê/ i Ê "VÌ°ÊÓ°Ê/ i Ê >ÀV ÊΣ]Ê£ x°Ê / i ÊÌÜ ViÊ ÊÓ䣣° Ê

1996 AD

ÌÊV i>ÀÊÌ iÊÃiV `ÊV }ÊÜ>ÃÊ } °Ê

/ iÊÞi>ÀÊ ÃÌÀ>`> ÕÃÊÀ> Ê ÕÌÊ vÊ«À « iV iÃ]ÊV>Õà }Ê Ã iÊÌ ÊLi iÛiÊÌ iÊÜ À `ÊÜ Ê i `ÊÌ i °

2007 AD

1994 AD

1853-1856 AD

3797 AD

, } Ì Ü }ÊÌi iÛ> }i ÃÌÊ*>ÌÊ , LiÀÌÃ ÊÃ> `ÊÌ iÊÜ À `Ê Ü Õ `Êi `Ê Ê"VÌ LiÀ°Ê"ÀÊ Ûi LiÀ°

>Ì Ê vÊ Ã > Ê i>`iÀÊ Õ ÃÊ >ÀÀ> > Ê Õ > >`Ê-À°Ê Ã> `ÊÌ iÊ Õ vÊ7>ÀÊ } ÌÊ>VÌÕ> ÞÊLiÊ À >}i`` °

L>Ãi]ÊÜ V ÊÌ i ÊvÕÀÌ iÀÊV ÌÀ>VÌÃÊÌ iÊ >L ÀÊ >À iÌÊ> `ÊÃ Ê °Ê /iV }ÞÊ` iÃÊ ÌÊ >ÛiÊÌ ÊÀi« >ViÊiÛiÀÞÊ Ü À iÀÊÌ ÊÃi `ÊÕÃÊ Ì Ê> ÊiV VÊ`i>Ì Êë À> ]Ê ÕÃÌÊ LL }ÊÌ iÊiV ÞÊÃiÛiÀi ÞÊi Õ} Ê Ü Ê > iÊ ÌÊ « `i°Ê `Ê>ÃÊÜiÊ`i«i `Ê«À >À ÞÊ ÊÌ iÊ >À iÌÊv ÀÊ ÕÀÊ« Þà } V> Ê ii`ÃÊ ­v `]ÊÜ>ÌiÀ]Ê Õà }®]ÊiV VÊV >«ÃiÊ LÀ }ÃÊÜ Ì Ê ÌÊÌ iÊÌ Ài>ÌÊ vÊ >ÃÃÊÃÌ>ÀÛ>Ì °Ê- Ê Þ ÕÊ >ÞÊ >ÛiÊ>Ê >ÌÌÀiÃÃÊÃÌÕvvi`ÊÜ Ì Êf£ääÊ L Ã]ÊLÕÌÊ>Êv>ÌÊ ÌÊ vÊ} `ÊÌ >ÌÊÜ Ê` ÊÞ ÕÊÜ i Ê Ì iÊ ÞÊVÕÀÀi VÞÊ ÃÊ} ` }Ê`>Õ} ÌiÀÃÊ > `Ê ` iÞðÊÊ

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1982 AD

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BOISEweekly | JULY 18–24, 2012 | 17

BOISEvisitWEEKLY PICKS boiseweekly.com for more events

Zoo Boise folks are real late-night party animals.

FRIDAY JULY 20 zzzzzz SNOOZE AT THE ZOO OK, so who wants a drink at the Sun Valley Center for the Arts Wine Auction?

THURSDAY-SATURDAY JULY 19-21 vino SUN VALLEY CENTER FOR THE ARTS WINE AUCTION The Sun Valley Center for the Arts is pulling out all the bells and whistles with a three-day wine auction packed with chocolates, one of the coolest marching bands around, dinners prepared by personal chefs, picnics and, of course, lots of wine. It all goes down Thursday, July 19-Saturday, July 21, in the Sun Valley/Ketchum area. Among the less expensive highlights of the three-day fete are a chocolate and wine tasting, featuring chief chocolatier David Owens and Bissinger’s Handcrafted Chocolates on Friday, July 20, and a wine tasting and picnic, featuring March Fourth Marching Band on Saturday, July 21. “On Thursday, we have all of the higher-end events like vintner dinners, where vintners come and pour wine, and we bring in chefs to design meals around the wine,” said Melissa Becker, summer assistant at the Sun Valley Center for the Arts. Cocktail attire and jackets are recommended for the vintner dinners, which will be held in private homes across the valley and offer perfect pairings of wine and cuisine prepared by some of the finest chefs in the nation. Similar attire is encouraged for Friday’s gala, featuring 40 different auction lots, a live auction, dinner and a surprise performance. Even if you’re not in it for the wine, catching March Fourth is still well worth the trip. This eclectic marching band comprised of musicians, acrobats, stilt-walkers and dancers is known for its wildly theatrical performances and ability to get a crowd dancing. Proceeds from this annual fundraising event have represented between 30 and 50 percent of the center’s annual budget, helping the center achieve its mission of making the arts more accessible. Various times and locations, $40-$750 individual events, $1,500-$2,500 packages. Sun Valley Center for the Arts, 191 Fifth St. E., Ketchum, 208-726-9491, wineauction.sunvalleycenter.org.

FRIDAY JULY 20 showdown WESTERN ACTION ADVENTURE SHOW

Covered wagon travel may have been a bit uncomfor table for Western settlers centuries ago—you know, all bumpy and dusty without seats that recline with the touch of a button. Then there was that whole problem with death and

18 | JULY 18–24, 2012 | BOISEweekly

disease and the like. But times have changed. Coolwater Creek Events in Meridian provides adventurous theater-goers the oppor tunity to bask in the days of the Old West. Ever y Friday through Aug. 31, attendees can hop

Constantly relinquishing bed surface area to your dog or cat? Why not spend a night with more space and slightly more exotic furry friends at Zoo Boise’s Snooze at the Zoo overnight program. Guests can enjoy their favorite zoo exhibits, experience hands-on encounters with some of the zoo’s more touchable critters and camp out for the night with zoo employees beginning Friday, July 20, at 7 p.m. The overnight ends at 9 a.m. Saturday, July 21. Camping spaces are available on the zoo lawn or indoors in view of the lions, guaranteeing a wilder night than you’d get back at home wrestling Rover for pillow space. Snooze at the Zoo offers activities for every kind of animal lover. Thrill seekers can explore the zoo at night and observe the nocturnal behavior of some of Boise’s most exotic residents. The educationally inclined can participate in workshops led by zoo employees. And those seeking a relaxing snooze under the stars need go no further than Zoo Boise’s expansive lawn. Snooze at the Zoo is intended for the whole family, but Zoo Boise encourages families to only bring children 7 years or older. Zoo overnights cost $50 per person and include all programs offered during the night, an evening snack, breakfast and next-day admission to the zoo. Discounts are available for scout and school groups, Boise residents and zoo pass holders. Registration must be done through Fort Boise Community Center, by calling 208-6087680 or at cityofboise.org. For more info or group reservations, call 208-384-4125, ext. 209. 7 p.m., $50. Zoo Boise, 355 Julia Davis Drive, 208-384-4260, zooboise.org.

aboard a covered wagon and meander the frontier “town” of Coolwater along Mirror Lake. After soaking in the atmosphere of spurs and gun slingers for a bit, attendees can nosh on a full buffet dinner of marinated tri-tip and barbecue chicken by H&M Meats and Catering before settling in for the Western Action Adventure Show. The play, Is True Love a Con or Am I Just Too Far Gone?, is an original farce written by Bob LaVelle and directed by Larr y Dennis. It tells the tale of a young lady tr ying to decipher whether her suitors are after her love or just love her money. The family friendly show is more Rocky

Horror than high theater— audience members function as townspeople and are encouraged to boo, cheer and hiss. Reser vations are required for the show and can be made by phone. Wagons roll at 6 p.m. for dinner guests and 7 p.m. for the show only. Guests can expect to head back to civilization about 9:15 p.m. Group discounts are also available. 6 p.m. dinner and show, 7 p.m. show only, $15-$45. Coolwater Creek Events, 7355 S. Eagle Road, Meridian, 208-887-7880, coolwatercreekevents.com.

SATURDAY JULY 21 crafty SUPER SUMMER CRAFT MARKET Take your pick: iced coffee and hot crafts or hot coffee and cool crafts. Regardless of how you take your coffee or what you call your crafts, you can find what you seek Saturday, July 21, from 9 a.m.-3 p.m. at Flying M Coffeegarage in Nampa. The music-venue sibling to the beloved downtown Boise coffee spot is hosting the third-annual Super Summer Craft Market and promises “so much crafty WWW. B O I S E WE E KLY. C O M

FIND BIOLITE CAMP STOVE

Never mock a short man. Especially comedian Kevin Hart.

FRIDAY JULY 20

Books: They’re like TV shows in your brain.

funny KEVIN HART’S LET ME EXPLAIN TOUR Standing at just more than 5 feet tall, comedian and actor Kevin Hart has self-deprecation down. Before launching into a falsetto-voiced rap verse, Hart joked, “I wish I could be a rapper or some shit. But nobody would want to listen to my album, my voice is too small” in his special I’m a Grown Little Man. Hart’s career began at amateur night at a Philadelphia comedy club. Not long after, he quit his job as a shoe salesman and worked his way into skits at the Laugh Factory and Laughs Comedy Festival. In February 2011, he broke a record set by Eddie Murphy after selling out a two-night performance at Los Angeles’ Nokia Theatre. He’ll bring his brand of funny to the Morrison Center Friday, July 20, as part of his Let Me Explain Tour. Topics in his show often return to Hart’s inability to exhibit anything approaching the “thug” style, his diminutive stature and his family, including raising his young daughter and son. Poking fun at himself for falling short of stereotypes—that his stature and demeanor don’t inspire machismo—has proved popular enough for three specials, including Seriously Funny, which was distributed nationally on DVD. One of his most-watched skits on YouTube includes mocking a conversation with his daughter, who was learning to speak, asking for more juice. “Mggammama juice!” Hart impersonates, to which he responds, “Who the fuck you think you talkin’ to?” When Hart isn’t touring for comedy, he works on the silver screen. He’s had roles in The 40 Year Old Virgin, Barbershop, and the Five-Year Engagement. His largest part yet is in Think Like a Man. Tickets for his stop in Boise are available at idahotickets.com. 7 p.m., $57.50. Morrison Center, 2201 Cesar Chavez Lane, 208-426-1609, mc.boisestate.edu.

goodness.” Roughly 18 local artisans and crafters will set up outside the coffeeshop with a variety of wares, including wood work, soaps, vintage-y goodies from Spools and Jewels, totes for you and your bike by Bella Grano and plenty of items for kids.

S U B M I T

Speaking of youngins, entertainment will be provided outside Flying M starting at 10 a.m. and continuing every other hour on the hour until 2 p.m. by youthful performers from the Salvation Army music program. The program is designed to teach performance skills

SATURDAY JULY 21 pancakes & paperbacks BREAKFAST WITH BOOKS While adults revel in snagging sambusas and kombucha at Capital City Public Market on Saturdays, sometimes little tikes can’t be satiated with all the fresh veggies in the world. Conveniently, Rediscovered Books on Eighth Street has a plan to feed and entertain children with its Breakfast with Books program. Each child receives breakfast provided by Brick Oven Bistro, engages in a craft-making activity to make something to take home, listens to a story read by bookseller Jamie Schildknecht and nabs a coupon good toward 25 percent off a children’s book. The second event of the series begins at 9 a.m. Saturday, July 21, with the theme Fractured Fair y Tales. Schildknecht plans to pick three stories that retell classic fair y tales, such as the Three Little Pigs and their plan to frame the Big Bad Wolf. He suggests an age range of 4-8 years old. This month, the book store is capping registration somewhere between 12 and 15 children, with advance tickets available on its website, and lowering the cost to $5 plus a 5 percent discount on a book. The series will continue Saturday, Aug. 25, when Rediscovered will feature Terribly Terrific Tongue-Twisters, which are sure to put Schildknecht’s reading skills to the test. 9-10 a.m., $5. Rediscovered Books, 180 N. Eighth St., 208-376-4229, rdbooks.org.

to children and promote confidence. Kids will be showing off their talents in a small choir, as soloists on keyboards and more. If all that shopping makes your stomach rumble, Archie’s Place food truck will be dishing up meaty, veggie and vegan-friendly sloppy joes. The Super Summer Craft Market will culminate

Nothing is more picturesque than cooking dinner around a campfire— flames licking the underbelly of a cast iron pot and crisping the edges of a gooey marshmallow. But building said campfire doesn’t have to be an epic undertaking requiring the expertise of an axe-wielding Hercules. For the lessbiolitestove.com skilled fire-starter, there’s the BioLite Camp Stove, a 33-ounce portable stove the size of a Nalgene water bottle that runs on twigs, pinecones and wood pellets. According to the BioLite website, where the campstove sells for $129: “Open wood fires are inefficient, wasting potential energy and creating toxic smoke due to incomplete combustion. Carefully designed stoves that use fans to blow air into the fire can dramatically improve combustion.” But smart design is just the tip of the flame—BioLite also helps keep you connected off the grid. The device converts heat from the fire into usable electricity, so you can recharge phones, lights and other electronic gadgets while you cook. It takes approximately 4.5 minutes to boil 1 liter of water and 20 minutes of charging will provide 60 minutes of talk time on an iPhone 4S. But BioLite isn’t just concerned with the tech-savvy outdoor enthusiast, the company also produces a HomeStove, which is “designed for the 3 billion people worldwide who cook on smoky, open fires, [and] provides LPG-like cooking performance while serving as an affordable source of electricity to charge life-changing devices.” —Tara Morgan

with the raffle of a basket featuring items from almost all of the attending crafters and artisans up for grabs. Proceeds from the raffle will go to the Salvation Army, which will also have a booth. 9 a.m.-3 p.m., FREE. Flying M Coffeegarage, 1314 Second St. S., Nampa, 208-4675533, flyingmcoffee.com.

an event by e-mail to calendar@boiseweekly.com. Listings are due by noon the Thursday before publication.

WWW. B OISEWEEKLY.C O M

BOISEweekly | JULY 18–24, 2012 | 19

8 DAYS OUT WEEK IN REVIEW ANDR EW C R IS P

WEDNESDAY JULY 18 On Stage CINDERELLA—Broadway’s magical musical comedy about a working girl who can’t catch a break comes to life in this enchanting version of one of the most-beloved fairy tale of all time. 8 p.m. $10-$18. Starlight Mountain Theatre, 850 S. Middlefork Road, Crouch, 208462-5523, starlightmountaintheatre.com. DAS BARBECU—This Texasthemed musical blends Wagner’s epic Ring Cycle operas with the state’s twang, big hair and big hats. 7 p.m. $10-$30. Liberty Theatre, 110 N. Main St., Hailey, 208-578-9122, companyoffools. org. THE MOUSETRAP—Twists and turns abound in this Agatha Christie mystery. 8 p.m. $12$40. Idaho Shakespeare Festival, 5657 Warm Springs Ave., Boise, box office 208-336-9221, idahoshakespeare.org.

Art ESPECIALLY FOR SENIORS— Senior guests (age 62 and older) receive free admission all day, plus a guided talk on the current exhibit. 2 p.m. FREE. Boise Art Museum, 670 Julia Davis Drive, Boise, 208-345-8330, boiseartmuseum.org. LEAF PRINTING—Adult and child pairs can create a work of botanical art using fabric paint. Participants need to bring one pillowcase or light-colored T-shirt that has been laundered at least once. Registration includes both participants. 10 a.m. $20, $15 IBG members. Idaho Botanical Garden, 2355 N. Penitentiary Road, Boise, 208-343-8649, idahobotanicalgarden.org.

THURSDAY JULY 19 Festivals & Events SUN VALLEY WINE AUCTION—Wines from around the world, unique vintner dinners prepared by top chefs, a wine and chocolate pairing event, one-of-a-kind auction lots at the gala, a lively wine picnic and concert featuring MarchFourth Marching Band. See Picks, Page 18. $40$2,500. Sun Valley Center for the Arts, 191 Fifth St. E., Ketchum, 208-726-9491, sunvalleycenter.org.

On Stage COMEDY AT THE VARSITY: AUGGIE SMITH—This comedian made the finals of The Great American Comedy Festival and won both the Seattle and San Francisco International Comedy competitions in 2010. See auggiesmith.com for more info. 8 p.m. $8. Varsity Pub, 1441 N. Eagle Road, Meridian, 208-9060658, varsitypubmeridian.com.

20 | JULY 18–24, 2012 | BOISEweekly

Ghostland Observatory’s Aaron Behrens wonders if there are indeed lasers in the jungle somewhere.

MASSV DANCE PARTY Despite the omnipresent heat, this week brought live music lovers to their feet. Alive After Five kicked things off in sweltering, ass-shaking style with a performance by throwback funk/ soulsters Black Joe Lewis and the Honeybears on July 11. According to Boise Weekly intern Tabitha Bower: “Between taking swigs of his Dos Equis and showcasing his vocal talents, a sweetly dirty mixture of grit and soul, Lewis showed off his skills by playing his electric guitar with his teeth.” But the band wasn’t done having its way with Idaho audiences. On July 13, Black Joe Lewis and the Honeybears poured its sticky sweet jams on the crowd gathered for the inaugural MASSV music and art festival-slash-carnival in Ketchum. According to BW Staff Writer Andrew Crisp: “When the electric Black Joe Lewis and the Honeybears took the stage, the area in front of the stage became clogged with people, which only grew more chaotic when Adventure Club, the first real electro act of the night, took the stage.” The dance party continued into the night, with a set by festival investor Doc Rock/DJ Alien, who donned a metallic suit that shot lasers from his fingers and an elaborate alien get-up. The second day of the festival got off to a much slower start, as revelers nursed hangovers and avoided the sheets of rain soaking the city. Despite low attendance for Boise bands Shades and Atomic Mama, and an early end to Finn Riggins’ set to funnel water to the ground from the tarpaulin roof, the party continued with headliners Ghostland Observatory. “The crowd quickly rushed back to the main stage, finally cleared of its water issues,” wrote Crisp. “There, Thomas Ross Turner, draped in the Lone Star flag as a shroud, dropped the band’s electro blend of funk and rock while singer Aaron Behrens caterwauled about the stage.” Back in a much drier Boise, Bower hit up Opera Idaho’s production of Oklahoma July 13 at Idaho Botanical Garden. “The cast, all Boise locals, filled the garden with their big voices, backed by a 14-piece orchestra,” wrote Bower. “The audience sprawled out in fold-up chairs and blankets, passing around bottles of wine, laughing in harmony with the cast and singing along to the much-beloved lyrics.” And speaking of wine, Red Room hosted a much less family friendly event July 16: the second season premiere of The Evil Wine Show, a locally produced sketch comedy and talk show with hosts Wes Malvini and Dustin Jones. “For this episode, the theme was sex. Comedy sketches featured a fashion show that ended with the hosts going to a playground called Pedophiles, and a fantastic satire of a ’50s educational film, in which Malvini and Jones poke and prod two named people with pool cues as a bone dry voiceover explains the various functions of the body without a shred of accuracy,” noted BW’s Josh Gross. New episodes of The Evil Wine Show screen Mondays at Red Room. For more info, visit evilwine.com. —Tara Morgan WWW. B O I S E WE E KLY. C O M

8 DAYS OUT DAS BARBECU—See Wednesday. 7 p.m. $10-$30. Liberty Theatre, 110 N. Main St., Hailey, 208-5789122, companyoffools.org. THE IMAGINARY INVALID—Live music and 1960s French pop culture abound in this Moliere tale about a wealthy hypochondriac. Originally produced by the Oregon Shakespeare Festival. See a review at boiseweekly.com. 8 p.m. $12-$40. Idaho Shakespeare Festival, 5657 Warm Springs Ave., Boise, box office 208-336-9221, idahoshakespeare.org. JOSEPH AND THE AMAZING TECHNICOLOR DREAMCOAT—Knock ‘Em Dead Dinner Theatre’s Summer Children’s Theater Group presents this Broadway hit. Dinner is not offered with this production. Student rush tickets are offered 10 minutes before curtain time. 7 p.m. $18, $15, $10 student rush. Knock ‘Em Dead Dinner Theatre, 415 E. Parkcenter Blvd., Boise, 208-385-0021, kedproductions.org.

FAMILY SNOOZE AT THE ZOO OVERNIGHT—Zoo guides will provide your family with evening and early morning treks through the zoo to investigate animals, as well as their habitats, behavior and care. Activities, games, art projects and up-close animal encounters are also part of the adventure. Evening snack, continental breakfast and indoor/outdoor sleeping area provided. Intended for children ages 6 and older. Parent must be present throughout the entire program. One adult per four children. Register online through Fort Boise Community Center. See Picks, Page 18. 7 p.m. $40-$50. Zoo Boise, 355 Julia Davis Drive, 208-384-4125, zooboise.org.

SUN VALLEY WINE AUCTION—See Thursday. $40-$2,500. Sun Valley Center for the Arts, 191 Fifth St. E., Ketchum, 208-726-9491, sunvalleycenter.org.

FIDDLER ON THE ROOF—The Starlight Mountain Theatre presents its rendition of this classic tale. 7:30 p.m. $12-$24. Starlight Mountain Theatre, 850 S. Middlefork Road, Crouch, 208-462-5523, starlightmountaintheatre.com.

On Stage

THE IMAGINARY INVALID—See Thursday. 8 p.m. $12-$40. Idaho Shakespeare Festival, 5657 Warm Springs Ave., Boise, box office 208-336-9221, idahoshakespeare.org.

COMEDY AT THE VARSITY: AUGGIE SMITH—See Thursday. 8 p.m. $8. Varsity Pub, 1441 N. Eagle Road, Meridian, 208-906-0658, varsitypubmeridian. com. DAS BARBECU—See Wednesday. 8 p.m. $10-$30. Liberty Theatre, 110 N. Main St., Hailey, 208-5789122, companyoffools.org.

JOSEPH AND THE AMAZING TECHNICOLOR DREAMCOAT—See Thursday. 8 p.m. $18, $15, $10 student rush. Knock ‘Em Dead Dinner Theatre, 415 E. Parkcenter Blvd., Boise, 208-385-0021, kedproductions.org.

LAUGHTER ON THE 23RD FLOOR—Inspired by playwright Neil Simon’s youthful experience as a staff writer on Sid Caesar’s Your Show of Shows, a harried writing staff frantically scrambles to top each other with gags while competing for the attention of star madman Max Prince. Not recommended for younger audiences. 7:30 p.m. $15. Stage Coach Theatre, 4802 W. Emerald Ave., Boise, 208-3422000, stagecoachtheatre.com. LEGALLY BLONDE—The hilarious MGM film is now a smash hit musical. When sorority queen Elle Woods gets dumped by her boyfriend, she is determined to get him back. So she grabs her Chihuahua, puts down her credit cards, hits the books and sets out to go where no other Delta Nu has gone before: Harvard Law. 8 p.m. $10-$18. Starlight Mountain Theatre, 850 S. Middlefork Road, Crouch, 208-4625523, starlightmountaintheatre.com. LIQUID LAUGHS: TODD JOHNSON—Also featuring Adam Norwest. Purchase tickets at liquidlaughs. com, by calling 208-941-2459 or at Liquid or Solid. 8 p.m. $8. Liquid, 405 S. Eighth St., Ste. 110, Boise, 208-287-5379, liquidboise.com. ROALD DAHL’S WILLY WONKA JUNIOR—Forty local children ages 8-18 will share the spotlight in this summer youth musical directed by Autumn Kersey. 7:30 p.m. $5-$12.50. Boise Little Theater, 100 E. Fort St., Boise, 208-342-5104, boiselittletheater. org.

Art NEW MOON SALON—Art and live music at Rachel Teannalach’s studio. Guest artist Susan Valiquette will show new black-and-white and photo encaustic images. Guest musician Jeffrey Barker, principal flutist with Boise Philharmonic, will perform. 7-9 p.m. Rachel Teannalach Studio, 2610 Regan Ave., Boise, 415-497-8158, teannalach.com. RAW ARTISTS MIXOLOGY—Boise’s monthly mixed arts showcase will feature film, music, performance, fashion show, hair/makeup design, accessory design and all visual arts. No-host bar will keep things moving along every third Thursday. For 18 and older; cocktail attire requested. Get your advance tickets at rawartists.org. $10 adv., $15 door. Powerhouse Event Center, 621 S. 17th St., Boise, 208-4330197, powerhouseevent.com.

Odds & Ends BEN KEMPER: BOISE STORIES—Join Ben Kemper as he tells stories of Boise. 6:30 p.m. Garden City Library, 6015 Glenwood St., Garden City, 208-4722941, notaquietlibrary.org.

FRIDAY JULY 20 Festivals & Events BIKE NIGHT—Join the fun at the third Bike Night of the summer. There will be a burnout contest and more, so be ready. 6-8:30 p.m. FREE. Birds of Prey Motorsports, 721 Hannibal St., Caldwell, 208-4532222, birdsofpreymotorsports.com.

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BOISEweekly | JULY 18–24, 2012 | 21

8 DAYS OUT KEVIN HART LET ME EXPLAIN TOUR—The comedian and actor, whose credits include roles in Little Fockers, Death at a Funeral, Fools Gold and The 40 Year Old Virgin, makes a stop in Boise on his international tour. Tickets are available at livenation.com, idahotickets. com, at all Select-A-Seat outlets, the Morrison Center box office or by calling 208-426-1110. See Picks, Page 19. 7 p.m. $57.50. Morrison Center for the Performing Arts, 2201 Cesar Chavez Lane, Boise, 208-4261609, mc.boisestate.edu. LAUGHTER ON THE 23RD FLOOR—See Thursday. 8:15 p.m. $15. Stage Coach Theatre, 4802 W. Emerald Ave., Boise, 208-342-2000, stagecoachtheatre.com. LIQUID LAUGHS: TODD JOHNSON—See Thursday. 8 p.m. and 10 p.m. $10. Liquid, 405 S. Eighth St., Ste. 110, Boise, 208287-5379, liquidboise.com. WESTERN ACTION ADVENTURE SHOW AND DINNER—See Picks, Page 18. 6 p.m. $15-$45. Coolwater Creek Event Center, 7355 S. Eagle Road, Meridian, 208-887-7880, coolwatercreekevents.com. ROALD DAHL’S WILLY WONKA JUNIOR—See Thursday. 7:30 p.m. $5-$12.50. Boise Little Theater, 100 E. Fort St., Boise, 208-342-5104, boiselittletheater.org.

SATURDAY JULY 21 Festivals & Events ALL VETERANS WELCOME HOME—Veterans, active duty, retirees, family members and the general public are all invited to join in welcoming home military veterans. The event will have free barbecue and drinks, displays of various veterans’ organizations, raffle prizes, games and activities for kids, music and more. If you are interested in donating a raffle prize, volunteering or having a booth at the event, contact Josh Callihan at 208-422-1054. 10 a.m.-1 p.m. FREE. Veterans Administration Medical Center, 500 W. Fort St., Boise, 208422-1000, va.gov.

On Stage

Coolers welcome inside. For more info, call 1-800-933-4781 or visit isu.edu/alumni. 6-8:30 p.m. $20. Idaho Botanical Garden, 2355 N. Penitentiary Road, Boise, 208-343-8649, idahobotanicalgarden.org.

COMEDY AT THE VARSITY: AUGGIE SMITH—See Thursday. 8 p.m. $8. Varsity Pub, 1441 N. Eagle Road, Meridian, 208-9060658, varsitypubmeridian.com. DAS BARBECU—See Wednesday. 8 p.m. $10-$30. Liberty Theatre, 110 N. Main St., Hailey, 208-578-9122, companyoffools. org.

Food & Drink KOPPER KITCHEN PARKING LOT BARBECUE—A benefit for The Arc’s second annual Sprout Film Festival. Featuring barbecue and all the fixin’s, music, raffle prizes, face painting, a dunk tank and more. Noon-7 p.m. $12 adults, $5 kids. Kopper Kitchen, 2661 Airport Way, Boise, 208344-4271, kopperkitchen.com.

JOSEPH AND THE AMAZING TECHNICOLOR DREAMCOAT— See Thursday. 2 p.m. and 8 p.m. $18, $15, $10 student rush. Knock ’Em Dead Dinner Theatre, 415 E. Parkcenter Blvd., Boise, 208-385-0021, kedproductions. org. LAUGHTER ON THE 23RD FLOOR—See Thursday. 8:15 p.m. $15. Stage Coach Theatre, 4802 W. Emerald Ave., Boise, 208-342-2000, stagecoachtheatre.com.

Screen MOVIES UNDER THE STARS: THE ADVENTURES OF TINTIN— Plus food, face painting, live music and family friendly games coordinated by the Boise Parks and Recreation Mobile Recreation Van staff. 7 p.m. FREE. Gene Harris Bandshell, 700 S. Capitol Blvd., in Julia Davis Park, Boise, cityofboise.org/parks.

LIQUID LAUGHS: TODD JOHNSON—See Thursday. 8 p.m. and 10 p.m. $10. Liquid, 405 S. Eighth St., Ste. 110, Boise, 208287-5379, liquidboise.com. THE MOUSETRAP—See Wednesday. 8 p.m. $12-$40. Idaho Shakespeare Festival, 5657 Warm Springs Ave., Boise, box office 208-336-9221, idahoshakespeare.org.

Kids & Teens BREAKFAST WITH BOOKS—Children ages 4-8 can enjoy story time with Fractured Fairy Tales, breakfast and crafts. See Picks, Page 19. 9-10 a.m. $5. Rediscovered Bookshop, 180 N. Eighth St., 208-376-4229, rdbooks.org.

ROALD DAHL’S WILLY WONKA JUNIOR—See Thursday. 7:30 p.m. $5-$12.50. Boise Little Theater, 100 E. Fort St., Boise, 208-342-5104, boiselittletheater.org.

Concerts AN EVENING WITH STEVE EATON—Enjoy the music of singer-songwriter Steve Eaton and help feed Idaho’s hungry. Order tickets and RSVP at isusteveeaton.myevent.com. Bring canned food donations to the Idaho Foodbank. Food and drinks will be available for purchase.

Citizen PADDLE OUT CANCER RIVER FLOAT—Proceeds go to River Discovery’s adventure programs for teen and adult cancer survivors. Launch from Barber Park. After-float festivities include

EYESPY Real Dialogue from the naked city

MOUNTAIN MAMAS ARTS AND CRAFTS FAIR—More than 100 vendors of unique, handcrafted items from artists and crafters throughout the West. Live music by Dewey, Pickette & Howe, and Dick Polley. 10 a.m.-6 p.m. FREE. Hwy 21. next to Mountain Village, Stanley, stanleycc.org. SUPER SUMMER CRAFT MARKET—See Picks, Page 18. 9 a.m.-3 p.m. FREE. Flying M Coffeegarage, 1314 Second St. S., Nampa, 208-467-5533, flyingmcoffee.com. SUN VALLEY WINE AUCTION—See Thursday. $40-$2,500. Sun Valley Center for the Arts, 191 Fifth St. E., Ketchum, 208-726-9491, sunvalleycenter.org.

22 | JULY 18–24, 2012 | BOISEweekly

Overheard something Eye-spy worthy? E-mail leila@boiseweekly.com

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8 DAYS OUT food, prizes and music by local musicians J. Todd Dunnigan and singer-guitarist Zach Quintana. Register at tinyurl.com/paddleout. 10:30 a.m. $20 for adults, $10 for kids under 14. Barber Park, 4049 Eckert Road, Boise.

SUNDAY JULY 22 Festivals & Events MOUNTAIN MAMAS ARTS AND CRAFTS FAIR—See Saturday. 9 a.m.-4 p.m. FREE. Hwy 21. next to Mountain Village, Stanley, stanleycc.org.

On Stage LIQUID LAUGHS: TODD JOHNSON—See Thursday. 8 p.m. $8. Liquid, 405 S. Eighth St., Ste. 110, Boise, 208-287-5379, liquidboise.com. THE MOUSETRAP—See Wednesday. 8 p.m. $12-$40. Idaho Shakespeare Festival, 5657 Warm Springs Ave., Boise, box office 208-336-9221, idahoshakespeare.org. ROALD DAHL’S WILLY WONKA JUNIOR—See Thursday. 2 p.m. $5-$12.50. Boise Little Theater, 100 E. Fort St., Boise, 208-3425104, boiselittletheater.org.

MONDAY JULY 23 On Stage PLAYS FROM THE ALLEY: POISON—Showcasing new works. Poison by Jason Haskins tells the story of a group of misfits fighting to save their favorite bar. This event is 21 and older, with beer and wine available. Tickets are available at alleyrep.org or at the door. 8 p.m. $7. Visual Arts Collective, 3638 Osage St., Garden City, 208-424-8297, visualartscollective.com.

TUESDAY JULY 24 On Stage A NIGHT FOR THE Y—Trey McIntyre Project performs a benefit for the YMCA with all proceeds going toward the YMCA’s Strong Kids Campaign. Performance starts at 7:30 p.m. Enjoy light hors d’oeuvres and a no-host bar. 6:45-9:45 p.m. $40. The Linen Building, 1402 W. Grove St., Boise, 208-385-0111, thelinenbuilding.com. DAS BARBECU—See Wednesday. 7 p.m. $10-$30. Liberty Theatre, 110 N. Main St., Hailey, 208-578-9122, companyoffools. org.

THE IMAGINARY INVALID—See Thursday. 8 p.m. $12-$40. Idaho Shakespeare Festival, 5657 Warm Springs Ave., Boise, box office 208-336-9221, idahoshakespeare.org. LEGALLY BLONDE—See Thursday. 8 p.m. $10-$18. Starlight Mountain Theatre, 850 S. Middlefork Road, Crouch, 208-462-5523, starlightmountaintheatre.com.

Screen MAHLER ON THE COUCH—This film explores the marriage of Gustav Mahler and his tempestuous wife Alma Schindler Mahler in a sensory feast of art, sex, music, architecture, literature, medical science and celebrity in fin-de-siecle Vienna. 6 p.m. FREE. The Community Library, 415 Spruce Ave. N., Ketchum, 208-726-3493, thecommunitylibrary.org.

9:30AM - 1:30PM

8th Street from Bannock to Main Street & on the Grove Plaza Chef Abbigail Carlson - Cooking with fresh, seasonal produce from the Market - Saturdays Q 10am to Noon

This Week at the Market Summer Squash, Green Beans & Berries Fresh Baked Breads, Pastries & Pies EVERY SATURDAY AT THE MARKET

* Fresh locally grown produce, herbs, & flowers * Idaho Specialty Foods & Wines * Great Selection of Local Artwork

A Free Service of the Market!

WEDNESDAY JULY 25 Festivals & Events SPLASH BASH POOL PARTY— Enjoy live music by Jimmy Bivens. 7 p.m. FREE. Owyhee Plaza Hotel, 1109 Main St., Boise, 208-343-4611, owyheeplaza. com.

On Stage THE MEPHAM GROUP

| SUDOKU

CINDERELLA—See Wednesday, July 18. 8 p.m. $10-$18. Starlight Mountain Theatre, 850 S. Middlefork Road, Crouch, 208-462-5523, starlightmountaintheatre.com. DAS BARBECU—See Wednesday. 7 p.m. $10-$30. Liberty Theatre, 110 N. Main St., Hailey, 208-578-9122, companyoffools. org. THE IMAGINARY INVALID—See Thursday. 8 p.m. $12-$40. Idaho Shakespeare Festival, 5657 Warm Springs Ave., Boise, box office 208-336-9221, idahoshakespeare.org.

Concerts MCCALL SUMMERFEST 2012— McCall Music Society presents a five-day festival of classical chamber music and jazz concerts held at multiple venues in McCall. Those attending will be treated to a variety of performances by prominent regional and national musicians. For a complete schedule of events, visit mccallmusicsociety.org. FREE-$75.

| EASY | MEDIUM

| HARD |

PROFESSIONAL |

Complete the grid so each row, column and 3-by-3 box (in bold borders) contains every digit 1 to 9. For strategies on how to solve Sudoku, visit www.sudoku.org.uk. Go to www.boiseweekly.com and look under odds and ends for the answers to this week’s puzzle. And don’t think of it as cheating. Think of it more as simply double-checking your answers. © 2009 Mepham Group. Distributed by Tribune Media Services. All rights reserved.

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LAST WEEK’S ANSWERS

Screen MOVIES IN THE GARDEN: INDIANA JONES AND THE RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK— Pack a picnic, bring a blanket and enjoy movies on the outdoor big screen. 7 p.m. $5, $3 IBG members. Idaho Botanical Garden, 2355 N. Penitentiary Road, Boise, 208-343-8649, idahobotanicalgarden.org.

BOISEweekly | JULY 18–24, 2012 | 23

NOISE

BUNKER BEATS

A PLAYLIST FOR THE APOCALYPSE ANDREW CRISP | ILLUSTRATION BY ADAM ROSENLUND

SONGS FROM BOISE BANDS WHO WE’D SCOOP UP BEFORE RUNNING TO THE HILLS TO ESCAPE THE FLAMING METEORS IF ONLY TO DRINK WITH THEM AND ASK FOR ONE LAST SHOW:

SONGS TO SET THE MOOD IN THE BUNKER. LIGHT THE WORLD’S REMAINING TEA CANDLES AND TOSS A RED CLOTH OVER EVERY LAMP. THE EARTH ISN’T GOING TO REPOPULATE ITSELF:

1. “THINGS FALL APART” BY BUILT TO SPILL “Came into the darkness from out of the blue / I don’t know much but I know what to do,” sings Doug Martsch, in this song about heartbreak. The theme of love lost may be something to relate to as your loved ones begin to disappear.

1. “THICKFREAKNESS” BY THE BLACK KEYS The title track of an industrial, analog album with album art is as suggestive as its lyrics: “Hold me / love me / in your heart and I’ll hold you near / and I’ll whisper in your ear.”

2. “WAKE (KEEP THIS TOWN ALIVE)” BY FINN RIGGINS Or, in this case, keep this shantytown alive. 3. “PSYCHOCILLIN ROBOBOOGIE” BY ATOMIC MAMA “I’ve got dusty boots and a red bandanna,” sings Jake Warnock, inspiring images of a dystopian American West filled with gunslingers and zombies. 4. “WE ARE ALONE” BY OWLRIGHT This layered jam by dance-party vets Owlright should get you gyrating on a makeshift stage made of bean cans.

2. “PRACTICE WHAT YOU PREACH” BY BARRY WHITE White sings about how foreplay blows his mind in a brassy baritone. ’Nuff said. 3. “LOVE AND SOME VERSES” BY IRON AND WINE Sam Beam’s breathy vocals on Our Endless Numbered Days will forever set hearts aflutter. 4. “IN THE AEROPLANE OVER THE SEA” BY NEUTRAL MILK HOTEL This less-than-perfect love affair has mentions of ashes in the air. 5. “I WAS A LOVER” BY TV ON THE RADIO Bass-heavy beats, falsetto voices and electronic diddling.

5. “COME ON AND DIG A HOLE” BY HILLFOLK NOIR Not only is the chanted refrain a smart move when the apocalypse is nigh, but the haunting percussion and whispery vocals help set a more serious tone.

24 | JULY 18–24, 2012 | BOISEweekly

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NOISE OLDIES WORTH PLAYING ON THAT VINTAGE RECORD PLAYER YOU MANAGED TO SNAG AFTER SOCIETY BEGAN ITS COLLAPSE: 1. “A HARD RAIN’S A-GONNA FALL” BY BOB DYLAN In this case, it’s fiery, burning rain, and the droplets are napalm, not water. 2. “TWO SUNS IN THE SUNSET” BY PINK FLOYD These guys wrote music like the world was ending, and this song reads like a soundtrack to the apocalypse. 3. “WHEN THE MUSIC’S OVER” BY THE DOORS “When the music’s over / turn out the lights,” warbles Jim Morrison. Good advice, lest your gasoline-powered generator charging your iPod runs dry. 4. “BAD MOON RISING” BY CREEDENCE CLEARWATER REVIVAL If there are zombies ambling about, chances are werewolves are on the way.

LINE YOUR SUBTERRANEAN CHATEAU WITH CHAMPAGNE BOTTLES, THEN UPGRADE THOSE DIM, COLD WAR-ERA BULBS WITH FLICKERING NEON LIGHTS AND INSTALL A SURROUND SOUND SYSTEM TO LISTEN TO THESE TRACKS: 1. “UTOPIA/DYSTOPIA (THE EARTH IS ON FIRE)” BY YACHT Wait for the sun to go down to shake it to this poppy dance duo’s futuristic beats. 2. “1999” BY PRINCE Prior to the Y2K scare in 2000, Prince released this admonishment to dance until the sun explodes. 3. “2012 (IT AIN’T THE END)” BY JAY SEAN AND NICKI MINAJ Modern radio artists on heavy radio rotation couldn’t resist an irreverent excuse to party. “Turn It Up / Mash it up / We gonna party like / party like it’s the end of the world” Sean croons. 4. “MEDICINE” BY STARFUCKER This track is filled with lines like “Sorry, so helpless” and repeated admonishments to “take your medicine.” In this case, perhaps “medicine” means cyanide capsules.

SONGS FOR SEARCHING THE LANDSCAPE FOR A LEADER, SHEPHERDING YOUR NEWFOUND FLOCK OR SEARCHING OUT A LAND UNBLEMISHED BY RADIATION: 1. “I’LL NEVER GET OUT OF THIS WORLD ALIVE” BY HANK WILLIAMS No matter how Williams struggles and strives, there’s no escaping inevitability. 2. “MY COMPANJERA” BY GOGOL BORDELLO These Gypsy punks have been making wandering-minstrel music for years. Check their costumes for ideas on how to refashion found materials from the rubble. 3. “DESERT SEARCH FOR TECHNO ALLAH” BY MR. BUNGLE Because Techno Allah will undoubtedly save us all from radiation. 4. “3 INCH HORSES, TWO FACED MONSTER” BY MODEST MOUSE The sounds of found instruments, including clanging pans and the screechy radio serial quality of Isaac Brock’s vocals, invoke images of a wandering family band.

THE SWEETER SIDE OF A SLATE WIPED CLEAN. AFTER THE WORLD IS SCORCHED, THINGS ARE BOUND TO BLOOM ONCE MORE: 1. “YAWNY AT THE APOCALYPSE” BY ANDREW BIRD Birdsong crops up on this indie track, which could be used to search out remaining wildlife. 2. “WE WILL BECOME SILHOUETTES” BY THE POSTAL SERVICE A song for finding a friend to scour the planet with. Avoid thinking about allusions to Pompeii’s frozen shadows. 3. “STARALFUR” BY SIGUR ROS While the language isn’t one we know well, the message of remembrance sent by strings and flowery chanting rings true all the same. 4. “I’M ONLY SLEEPING” BY THE BEATLES Because the Earth, like the sleepy-eyed Fab Four, will rouse once more.

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BOISEweekly | JULY 18–24, 2012 | 25

LISTEN HERE/GUIDE GUIDE WEDNESDAY JULY 18 ALIVE AFTER FIVE—Featuring the Black Lillies with Lee Penn Sky. 5 p.m. FREE. Grove BAND OF BUSKERS—6 p.m. FREE. Lulu’s BECOMING THE ARCHETYPE— With Wolves at the Gate, For the Sake Of and Diluted. 6 p.m. $12. Venue

BEAT CONNECTION, JULY 19, REEF Electronica, by its nebulous nature, is a genre ripe for constant reinvention. And Beat Connection’s avant-garde sounds are blazing a new synth-strewn path. The band will make its way to Boise’s Reef Thursday, July 19, with Vancouver, British Columbia, band Teen Daze and Los Angeles’ White Arrows in tow. The quartet organizes a cadre of computers, synthesizers, guitars and drums to mesh both digital and analog elements seamlessly. Originally hailing from Seattle, the band released its first EP, Surf Noir, in 2011. On June 19, Beat Connection dropped a full-length release, The Palace Garden, and launched a national tour. Unlike the majority of the band’s dancey, electro-pop contemporaries, Beat Connection peppers its jams with catchy vocals. Tracks like “Saola” prove the group’s ability to create songs good for both sing-a-longs and ass-shake-a-thons. —Andrew Crisp With Teen Daze and White Arrows. 10 p.m., $7. Reef, 105 S. Sixth St., 208-287-9200, reefboise.com.

26 | JULY 18–24, 2012 | BOISEweekly

BURLEY GRIMES—8:45 p.m. FREE. Pengilly’s

STORIE GRUBB AND THE HOLY WARS—With New York Rifles and CAMP. 8 p.m. $3. Red Room TERRY JONES AND BILL LILES—6 p.m. FREE. Berryhill

THURSDAY JULY 19 BEAT CONNECTION— See Listen Here, this page. With White Arrows and Teen Daze. 10 p.m. $7. Reef

DAN COSTELLO—7:30 p.m. FREE. Piper Pub

CONCERTS IN THE GARAGE— Featuring Grand Falconer and Boise Rock School bands. 7 p.m. FREE. Boise Rock School

FAT WEDNESDAY ROCK PARTY—Featuring Trikata and Pause for the Cause. 9 p.m. FREE. Fatty’s

COUNTRY CLUB—7 p.m. FREE. Modern

JONATHAN WARREN AND THE BILLYGOATS—10 p.m. FREE. Grainey’s LITTLE WOW DUO—7 p.m. FREE. Montego Bay NAOMI PSALM AND THE BLUE CINEMA—8 p.m. $3. Flying M Coffeegarage PAMELA DEMARCHE—6 p.m. FREE. Flatbread-Downtown RYAN WISSINGER—9 p.m. 5:45 p.m. FREE. Solid STEVE EATON AND PHIL GARONZIK—8 p.m. FREE. Chandlers

DAN COSTELLO—6:30 p.m. FREE. Chandlers FRIM FRAM 4—8:45 p.m. FREE. Pengilly’s GHOST TOWN HANGMEN—With Nude Oil, The Jerkwadz and Them Rude Boys. 8 p.m. $3. Red Room GREAT GARDEN ESCAPE—Featuring Signature Sound. 6:30 p.m. $10, $7 IBG members. Idaho Botanical Garden HAPPY PEOPLE—9:30 p.m. FREE. Liquid JIM LEWIS—6 p.m. FREE. Willowcreek-Eagle

MUSIC ON THE LAWN—Featuring Willison-Roos, Charlie Burry, Scott Learned and Marc Herring. 6 p.m. FREE. West YMCA PHILIP BELZESKI—6 p.m. FREE. Cosmic Pizza ROBERT JAMES—5:45 p.m. FREE. Solid THURSDAY THUNDER—Featuring $oul Purpo$e. 6 p.m. FREE. Edwards 22 TRUCK STOP TRIO—With Duchess Down the Well. 10 p.m. FREE. Grainey’s

FRIDAY JULY 20

JONATHAN WARREN AND THE BILLYGOATS—10 p.m. $3. Grainey’s THE MALDIVES—With Motopony and Sun Blood Stories. 7 p.m. $7. Neurolux MIA WITH JOHNNY SHOES—7:30 p.m. FREE. Willi B’s MOTTO KITTY—9 p.m. $3. Kay and Traci’s 127 Club MUDBELLY—With Bukkit and Reverend Otis. Doors at 7 p.m., show at 8 p.m. $8. Knitting Factory RYAN WISSINGER—9 p.m. FREE. Solid

A TASTY JAM—8:30 p.m. FREE. Montego Bay

SINNERS AND SAINTS TOUR— Featuring MC Ripynt and Saint Warhead with The Freeman, Dedicated Servers and P Dirt. 8 p.m. $5. Red Room

BAND OF BUSKERS—5:30 p.m. FREE. Crux

SPEEDY GRAY—8:30 p.m. FREE. Piper Pub

BLANCA MORA AND MICHAEL MUELLER—8:30 p.m. FREE. La Cantina Sociale

TODD DUNNIGAN—6 p.m. FREE. Berryhill

CHRIS ISAAK—7 p.m. $35-$95. Eagle River Pavilion GAYLE CHAPMAN—5:45 p.m. FREE. Solid THE JACKS—7 p.m. FREE. Sockeye JOHN CAZAN—4 p.m. FREE. Lock, Stock & Barrel

WATING ON TRIAL—8:45 p.m. FREE. Pengilly’s

SATURDAY JULY 21 BAND OF BUSKERS—8 p.m. FREE. Burger Belly

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GUIDE/LISTEN HERE GUIDE BURLEY GRIMES—8:45 p.m. FREE. Pengilly’s CONCERTS ON BROADWAY: KINGS OF SWING—7 p.m. FREE. Meridian City Hall EMMYLOU HARRIS— See Listen Here, this page. 7 p.m. $35$99.50. Eagle River Pavilion ERIC GRAE—6 p.m. FREE. Berryhill GAYLE CHAPMAN—5:45 p.m. FREE. Solid HUNGRY HEARTS TOUR—Featuring JE double F, MC Homeless and Greenlander. 8 p.m. $3. Red Room JONATHAN WARREN AND THE BILLYGOATS—10 p.m. $3. Grainey’s JOSH INGYU—8:30 p.m. FREE. Piper Pub KAYLEIGH JACK—9 p.m. FREE. O’Michael’s

SUNDAY JULY 22

MONDAY JULY 23

CARMEL CROCK—With Ken Harris. 10:30 a.m. FREE. Bella Aquila

FOLIAS—7 p.m. FREE. 13th Street Pub

DARK TIME SUNSHINE—With Crushcon7, IllUMNeye and Finemin. 7:30 p.m. $4. Crux GREG PERKINS AND RICK CONNOLLY: THE SIDEMEN—6:30 p.m. FREE. Chandlers

POINT REYES—10 p.m. FREE. Grainey’s PUNK MONDAY—8 p.m. $3. Liquid SHAUN BRAZELL—6:30 p.m. FREE. Chandlers

JOHNNY SHOES—5:45 p.m. FREE. Solid

SHAUN BRAZELL AND SAM STROTHER—7:30 p.m. FREE. Chandlers

KAYLEIGH JACK—8 p.m. FREE. Pengilly’s

THOMAS PAUL—8 p.m. FREE. Red Feather

KEN HARRIS—6 p.m. FREE. Berryhill

TRAVIS WARD—5:45 p.m. FREE. Solid

LATIN LOCKDOWN TOUR—With Mack 10, Brown Boy, N2Deep, Knight Owl, Propoer Dos. Doors at 7 p.m., show at 8 p.m. $25$50. Knitting Factory

MEWITHOUTYOU—With Kevin Devine and Buried Beds. 7 p.m. $13 adv., $15 door. Venue

MR. P CHILL—10 p.m. FREE. Grainey’s Basement

MOTTO KITTY—9 p.m. $3. Kay and Traci’s 127 Club

MUSIC FROM STANLEY—Featuring Reilly Coyote. 4 p.m. FREE. Redfish Lake Lodge

ROB AND ROBIN SCOTT—8 p.m. FREE. Willi B’s

PAT RICE—1:30 p.m. FREE. Solid

TUESDAY JULY 24

DIEGO’S UMBRELLA—8:30 p.m. $8 adv., $10 door. VAC JIM LEWIS—6 p.m. FREE. Willowcreek-Boise RADIO BOISE TUESDAYS—Featuring Lost Lander and Atomic Mama. 7 p.m. $5. Neurolux TREVOR GREEN—7 p.m. FREE. Sockeye TRIO43—8 p.m. FREE. Chandlers

WEDNESDAY JULY 25 ALIVE AFTER FIVE—Featuring Billy Franklin’s NOLA Live with Nino Lobos. 5 p.m. FREE. Grove THE ASCETIC JUNKIES—8 p.m. $5. Flying M Coffeegarage REBECCA SCOTT—7:30 p.m. FREE. Piper Pub

200 WEST—With Danger Beard. 10 p.m. FREE. Grainey’s

RYAN WISSINGER—5:45 p.m. FREE. Solid

BARBARA LAING—5:45 p.m. FREE. Solid

STEADY RUSH—6 p.m. FREE. Flatbread-Downtown

DAN COSTELLO—6:30 p.m. FREE. Chandlers

RYAN WISSINGER—9 p.m. FREE. Solid TROPICAL COWBOYS—7 p.m. FREE. Shangri-La

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EMMYLOU HARRIS, JULY 21, EAGLE RIVER PAVILION Emmylou Harris is getting old. That’s not to say she writes bad music, that she’s unattractive or that her musical career is nearing its end. In fact, she will release her 24th studio album next year. But there comes a point in every long and fabled career when the past deserves reflection. Just listen to the first track, “The Road,” on her 2011 album, Hard Bargain, a song about Harris’ mentor and the hugely influential songwriter Gram Parsons. The song is also an expression of the insight that there’s likely more road behind Harris than there is before her, and it’s the driving force behind the album, in which shards of introspection shimmer against the backdrop of Harris’ social consciousness. “My real heart at this point in my life is animal rescue,” Harris said. “It’s really become a second career for me.” Read more about Harris at boiseweekly.com. —Harrison Berry

V E N U E S Don’t know a venue? Visit www.boiseweekly.com for addresses, phone numbers and a map.

6 p.m. doors, 7 p.m. show, $35-$99.50. Eagle River Pavilion, 827 E. Riverside Drive, cttconcerts.com.

BOISEweekly | JULY 18–24, 2012 | 27

DVD/SCREEN A FEW GOOD DVDS TO PREPARE YOU FOR THE PENDING APOCALYPSE:

For movie times, visit boiseweekly.com or scan this QR code.

SCREEN/THE BIG SCREEN

1. A BOY AND HIS DOG A 1975 cult classic about … a boy and his dog.

2. ON THE BEACH Anti-war movie from 1959 about a submarine looking for nuclear survivors.

3. THE BOOK OF ELI One of Denzel Washington’s best.

END-OF-THE-WORLD FLICKS HOLLYWOOD DELIGHTS IN DEPICTING THE END OF DAYS GEORGE PRENTICE | ILLUSTRATION BY ADAM ROSENLUND

4. THE RAPTURE A consideration of zombies and the Bible from 1991.

5. INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS (1978) The remake is more visceral than the 1956 original.

Cataclysm has been really, really good for Hollywood. Perhaps no other genre consistently pulls in moviegoers anxious to watch global annihilation while polishing off a large soda. Moviedom’s biggest stars have cut their teeth on trying to save the world. Bruce Willis brushed a giant meteor away from Earth’s orbit in Armageddon, Will Smith told aliens to suck it in Independence Day, and Mel Gibson taught us to be afraid, very afraid, of crop circles in Signs. But perhaps no actor has had greater success with end-of-days themes than Charlton Heston. String together Heston’s apocalyptic resume and you have a pretty depressing film festival: The Omega Man, Soylent Green, Solar Crisis and the holy grail of kitschy sci-fi, Planet of the Apes. I vividly recall the ridiculous delight of watching Heston’s sinewy snarl. “Take your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape,” a half-naked Heston told

28 | JULY 18–24, 2012 | BOISEweekly

his simian captors. I promise you that sitting in a 1968 movie palace watching the pre-CGI classic was mindblowing. When Heston pounded his fists into the sand, recognizing that mankind had blown itself off its own planet and yielded to an ape conquest, audiences were astonished. No less than four sequels, two television series and two rather successful 21st century reboots were inspired by the original conceit. Behind the lens, no other director has fetishized our demise more than Roland Emmerich, who takes particular glee and massive amounts of studio money to dream up new ways to kill us all. Some are rather terrible— Godzilla, Eight Legged Freaks, Universal Soldier—while others are just in extremely bad taste—2012, The Day After Tomorrow. Of the scores of films that consider the possibility of our demise, we can generally divide

them into two camps: those that take themselves way too seriously and those that gleefully embrace a universe without universal order. Of the latter, the top of the apocalyptic heap belongs to Dr. Strangelove, Stanley Kubrick’s so-true-that-it’s-achingly-funny examination of our nuclear age. There are plenty more of its ilk: 12 Monkeys, Night of the Comet and Shaun of the Dead, to name a few. And the former offers some of the best movies of any genre: 28 Days Later, Children of Men, The Road Warrior, I Am Legend and Dawn of the Dead (the 2004 remake). Unfortunately, this summer’s most-recent effort, Seeking a Friend for the End of the World, starring Steve Carell and Keira Knightley, is a ghastly flop. Not knowing whether to be funny or sweet, the film is neither, and I couldn’t wait for the movie, and the characters’ lives, to end.

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BOISEweekly | JULY 18–24, 2012 | 29

REC

SURVIVING THE APOCALYPSE

IF YOU’RE NOT ALREADY A HUNTER OR CAMPER, TAKE NOTES RANDY KING | ILLUSTRATION BY ADAM ROSENLUND

SHOOT A MOVING TARGET If zombies didn’t move then we would have nothing to worry about. Unfortunately, they are going to chase down all survivors and try and eat their brains. The trick is going to be shooting them while they are on the run. Use the biggest caliber that you can—the caliber determines how much blood gets out and the amount of air that gets in. The combination makes for fatal shots. TIP 1: Sustain the lead on the zombie. Assuming the zombie is going 10 mph, shoot about 6 inches in front of the zombie for every 50 yards with a riffle. If you’re using a shotgun, don’t shoot the zombie until it is within 50 yards and figure 1 foot of lead. TIP 2: Keep on swinging. The concept is to keep the gun moving even after the trigger is pulled. Stopping the movement will cause the lead to lessen. TIP 3: Keep on shooting. Shoot like the lives of you and your family depend on it. Because if you’re shooting at a zombie, they probably do. Double tap.

BE A NOMAD You might be forced out of the house or the apocalypse might come while you’re stuck in traffic. Any way it happens, you might end up a nomad. A solitary person looks like fresh meat to zombies and a resource to others. TIP 1: Poop like a cat. A nice pile and some TP might as well be a signal flare for evil-doing bandits looking for nomads. Instead, when you poop, dig a small hole, defecate in it,

30 | JULY 18–24, 2012 | BOISEweekly

then stir it up with a stick mixing in dirt. Toss the paper on the top and cover with an ample amount of soil. Cover it with brush and leaves in a natural fashion.

to make them earn what they get, right? Spiders, hot oil, fall traps, sticky films and poison will await anyone who comes into my house uninvited.

TIP 2: Camp like a ghost. Avoid soft surfaces, like anything within a few hundred feet of water as a campsite. Mud or soft surfaces will show where you camped. Don’t make a fire ring—they’re too easy to spot. Use natural tree cover and deep shaded locations for a campsite. Make sure you can’t see the camp from any of the nearby trails or roads.

TIP 3: Dig in. Have a basement? Great. It is the most secure spot in the whole house. If not, then you should make one. Below-ground spaces are the most-easily defended. Another benefit of a basement is that the ground is typically cooler under the house, which is a great thing when it’s summertime and the livin’ ain’t easy.

TIP 3: Have good boots. Your feet are your primary form of transportation. Use them wisely and respect them. Getting a hold of a good pair of boots with ankle support is imperative. Good boots can make the 20 miles a day you have to hike to avoid the Thunderdome all the more bearable.

TIP 4: Get the hell out. A single-story family house is just about the worst thing that a person can try and defend. No matter how good the defenses are, one match can have everyone in the place scattering out like coughing lab monkeys. Figure out a better, more-defensible location. If you can move out of your house, do so.

FORTIFY YOUR HOUSE The end of the world is probably going to happen when you are in one of two places: at home or work. Work buildings vary too much for useful insights but most houses have a few things that can work to your advantage. TIP 1: Mark your house as condemned. This is a cool trick as long as you don’t see others doing it, too. Camo your house to look like no one is home. Board it up and wrap it in tape. Shit, throw a foreclosure sign on the front door. Just don’t burn the wood stove and stay away from the windows. TIP 2: Watch the movie Home Alone. Let’s say the invaders make it to your place. You want

BUILD A SIGNAL FIRE How is it that you are the last person left alive on Earth? Well, you probably aren’t. It is more likely that you are so isolated that it just feels that way. The next trick is alerting others that you are still alive. Signal fires are a great way to do that. TIP 1: Have the materials for a fire ready before you need them. Nothing says heartache like watching a low-flying plane and not being able to get its attention. TIP 2: Burn tires. Since not many people will be left on Earth, it’ll be OK to burn as many as you like.

Tires make black acrid smoke that can be seen for miles. TIP 3: If you are feeling crafty, use gas or diesel to burn SOS into the parking lots of your favorite grocery stores.

SURVIVE A BREAKDOWN OF THE GLOBAL FOOD CHAIN What kind of society are we left with when the stores run out of food? Do we turn into a commune and share? Probably not. Most likely, we start stealing from others and create clanbased survival systems. Those who own the most guns typically end up on the top of the food chain. What can you do? TIP 1: Learn to scavenge the natural world. All around us is food. The vacant lot across the way can hold more nutrients than you would imagine. Dandelions make spinach look like a Twinkie. To better prepare for this catastrophe, it is good to know how to get food from the fat of the land. TIP 2: Stockpile seeds. It might seem odd but seeds, sprouted, can be incredibly nutritious. While they might be low in calories, they have large amounts of the vitamins, amino acids, proteins and fiber that we need to stay healthy. TIP 3: Potable water is the most important

thing people need. Stockpile it or devise a way to get clean water from the world around you. A well is a good option, as long as you control it. Rain collection helps. Make sure your water is sanitary with iodine or a quality water filter. WWW. B O I S E WE E KLY. C O M

UNDER R THE

2012 PLAYS ROMEO AND JULIET

By William Shakespeare Sponsored by Hawley Troxell and Idaho Statesman’s Scene and Treasure Magazines

THE MOUSETRAP

By Agatha Christie Sponsored by D.A. Davidson & Co., and KTVB 7 Idaho’s Newschannel

THE IMAGINARY INVALID

Freely adapted from Molière by Oded Gross and Tracy Young. Originally produced by Oregon Shakespeare Festival Sponsored by Holland & Hart, LLP and Boise Weekly

SEASON SPONSOR

THE WINTER’S TALE

By William Shakespeare Sponsored by 200 Teachers, UBS Financial Services, Inc., and Boise State Public Radio

NOISES OFF

SEASON PARTNERS

SEASON MEDIA PARTNERS

By Michael Frayn Sponsored by Stoel Rives, LLP, and 107.1 KHITS

Layaway Available!

Photo Credit: Jodi Dominick*, The Imaginary Invalid (2012). Photo by DKM Photography. *Member Actors’ Equity.

GET YOUR TICKETS & GIFT CERTIFICATES ONLINE AT

WWW.IDAHOSHAKESPEARE.ORG OR CALL 336-9221 M–F, 10 a.m. to 5 p.m.

WWW. B OISEWEEKLY.C O M

BOISEweekly | JULY 18–24, 2012 | 31

FOOD

APOCALYPSE CHOW

A GUIDE TO GRUBBING DOWN UNDERGROUND TARA MORGAN | ILLUSTRATION BY ADAM ROSENLUND After the grocery stores have been stormed and their aisles emptied of Hungry Man TV dinners and beer, your post-apocalyptic grocery cart will be as barren as the flame-charred landscape. That is, unless you’re prepared. As any prepper worth his or her dried beans will tell you, it’s imperative to have a supply of well preserved food at your disposal when the current world order comes crumbling down around your Don’t Tread on Me novelty socks.

HOW MUCH FOOD SHOULD YOU HAVE STORED? According to the Federal Emergency Management Agency’s ready.gov, they recommend people “store at least a three-day supply of non-perishable food,” including “canned foods, dry mixes and other staples that do not require refrigeration, cooking, water or special preparation.” But The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints recommends hoarding a larger load—at least a three-month food supply, supplemented by longer-term supply items like grains and beans that have low moisture content. It recommends storing 25 pounds of wheat, white rice, corn and other grains per adult per month, along with 5 pounds of dried beans.

WHAT FOOD PRESERVATION METHODS ARE BEST? In times of turmoil, when zombies are picking bits of fresh brain from their yellowed teeth outside your barred basement window, many survivalists suggest having a stock of hasslefree, comforting foods on hand.

CANS: The most common, ready-to-eat items that line bunker pantry shelves are canned foods—everything from corn and green beans to SpaghettiO’s and Dinty Moore beef stew. In addition to filling your gut, canned veggies also have the added benefit of coming packed in water—a hot commodity when your taps sputter dry. Just be sure to snag the low-sodium varieties so that refreshing glass of bean water doesn’t make you more parched. According to the United States Department of Agriculture’s Food Safety and Inspection Service, canned meat and poultry are shelf stable in the pantry for two to five years after purchase, while the National Center for Home Food Preservation notes that home-canned goods that are “stored in a cool, dry place will retain optimum eating quality for at least one year.” Prepper websites recommend stocking up on canned goods that you regularly consume so you can rotate through your supply while patiently waiting for the rise of the robots.

32 | JULY 18–24, 2012 | BOISEweekly

FREEZE-DRIED: For those who prefer their final meals in freeze-dried form, a number of companies manufacture light-weight emergency preparedness kits. Mountain House makes a 72-hour kit for one adult that comes with things like granola, scrambled eggs, beef stroganoff and chicken teriyaki for $50.60. Wise Food Storage, on the other hand, offers a one-year supply that feeds four adults, or two adults and four children, three meals a day for $6,650. Wise

Food meals come in pouches stored in stackable plastic tubs and include entrees like creamy pasta and vegetable rotini, cheesy lasagna and hearty tortilla soup. Just dump the powdery dust into a few cups of boiling water and voila, instant food-flavored mush. An instructional video at wisefoodstorage.com notes that the empty tubs can also “serve several other purposes, such as digging, carrying of water or disposing of waste.”

DRIED GOODS: Most prepper pantries are also piled high with mounds of dried foods like grains and beans. Though beans require a bit of planning—it’s recommended that you soak them in three times their volume of cold water for six hours before cooking—they are a much

cheaper alternative. Grains like wheat berries, couscous and rice are also good to have on hand, but don’t forget to stash a sturdy handgrinder in your bunker if you plan to make flour.

WHAT ABOUT FRESH VEGGIES? After a month of forking down mushy beans and cold Chef Boyardee ravioli from a can, you’ll probably be ready for a fresh salad. But if the world outside your bunker went up in a fiery ball of radiation, you’ll be SOL in the garden department. While you could potentially run grow lights off a generator, that might not be the best use of your limited power supply. Enter: seed sprouting, which doesn’t require sunlight. According to survivetheapocalypse.net, “If you can rinse your mini crop twice daily, and the temperature is human habitable, you can have fresh, nutrient-dense sprouts in as little as three to five days.” You can grow mung, lentil, barley, pea, garbanzo and tons of other sprouts, using only a hemp cloth bag. Simply fill the bag half full with seeds and rinse with cool water for approximately 30 seconds then close the drawstring and hang the bag to drain. “Most seeds will only need to be rinsed twice daily, but depending on the temperature, the weave of the hemp bag used, and the environmental humidity of your area, you may have to rinse more,” writes survivetheapocalypse.net. Once the sprouts are 1-inch or so long, you can start eating them. If you have access to a window, but can’t leave your house due to the roving gangs of shit-talking bears wearing jetpacks, there is another option for fresh veggies: window gardens. According to an article on npr.org: “The simplest window farm system is a column of upside-down water bottles connected to one another. Plants grow out of holes cut into the sides. An air pump is used to circulate liquid nutrients that trickle down from the top of the column and make their way to the plant roots.” Window farms can grow things like strawberries, cherry tomatoes, herbs, lettuces and peppers, but not root vegetables like carrots.

WHAT NUTRIENTS DO YOU NEED TO SURVIVE? So, now that you have a stockpile of grub crammed in your basement—and a secret stash hidden under the floorboards just in case your bunker is pillaged by unprepped pirates—here are a few food-relat- 33 ed ailments to look out for: WWW. B O I S E WE E KLY. C O M

FOOD BEER GUZZLER/FOOD

OSTEOMALACIA/RICKETS: A calcium or vitamin D deficiency can cause osteomalacia in adults and rickets in children. Calcium helps build strong bones and vitamin D helps to absorb calcium. Rickets causes bowed legs, while osteomalacia causes softened bones. Calcium is abundant in dairy products, dark green veggies, seeds, nuts and soy. Vitamin D can be found in fortified milk and fish liver oils or synthesized from the sun.

THE THREE BEERS OF THE APOCALYPSE If one interpretation of the Mayan calendar is right, Earth’s days are numbered. And if that’s the case, with apologies to the Book of Revelations, I’m going out with bottles of brew rather than horsemen, where breaking the seal leads to a pleasurable experience rather than pestilence, famine and death. Here are a few choices on the apocalyptic theme. UNIBROUE LA FIN DU MONDE If there’s a better Canadian beer than this Quebec-brewed, Belgian-style Tripel, I’ve yet to taste it. A cloudy light straw in the glass with a thick, foamy head that collapses slowly, this beer offers a touch of clove and pepper on the fruit-laden nose. The palate is a delightfully complex mix of flavors, including mango, creamy malt, clove and white pepper, finishing with a refreshing citrus tang. The name translates from French as “the end of the world,” and it’s a world-class brew for the end of days. SHOCK TOP BELGIAN WHITE This entry from Anheuser-Busch is an effervescent pour that’s a hazy gold with an egg-white head that fades quickly. The aromas are reserved, but you do get some appealing grain backed by touches of spice and citrus. It’s light but pleasant on the palate with a nice tartness that turns creamy. The Shock Top website features a countdown to the end of the world, and this pick definitely beats a bottle of Bud Light as the final day approaches. 10 BARREL BREWING APOCALYPSE IPA A thick and clingy froth tops this orange-tinged, yellow brew. The hop-driven aromas are a mix of pine and citrus with a light, herbal touch. It’s a lively mix of sweet malt and bitter hops on the palate. In this well-balanced ale, hints of grapefruit and orange come through on the clean finish. Locally, the impending apocalypse will be a little easier to swallow once this Bend, Ore.-based brewery expands to downtown Boise. —David Kirkpatrick WWW. B OISEWEEKLY.C O M

SCURVY: As seafaring rascals of yore 32 will warn you, scurvy comes from a vitamin C deficiency. Symptoms include lethargy, depression, spot formation on the skin, gum disease, jaundice, fever, neuropathy and, ultimately, death. Vitamin C can be found in citrus fruits, tomatoes, potatoes, strawberries and broccoli.

ANEMIA: Anemia is caused by iron deficiency, which decreases the amount of red blood cells that provide oxygen to body tissues. Anemia leads to weakness, tiredness, pallor, shortness of breath and jaundice. Iron can be readily found in meat, seafood, dark greens, broccoli, eggs, enriched flour products and dried beans. BERIBERI: Beriberi is caused by a thiamine, or vitamin B1 deficiency. Wet beriberi affects the cardiovascular system, whereas dry beriberi affects the nervous system. Symptoms include severe lethargy and fatigue, along with cardiovascular, nervous, muscular and gastrointestinal complications. Thiamine can be found in yeast, pork, dried beans, oatmeal, flax seeds, sunflower seeds, brown rice and whole grain rye. PELLAGRA: Pellagra is caused by a niacin, or vitamin B3 deficiency. Symptoms include diarrhea, dermatitis and dementia. Niacin can be readily found in chicken, halibut, beef and shitake mushrooms.

BOISEweekly | JULY 18–24, 2012 | 33

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BW LOST LOST KEYS On the 4th of July. I was on my bike from City Hall - Capital St. - Front St. - 8th St. - Julia Davis Park. Toyota remote plus 4 other keys. Please call 342-6796.

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RAW VEGAN CLASS SERIES! Learn to prepare tasty gluten free & sugar free entrees & desserts! Cooking Classes: July 11th Italian, July 18th Thai cuisine, July 25th Guilt-Free Desserts. At Grace Place 6:30-8:30pm. $35 a class ($85 for all 3). RSVP 208921-4421. Call Boise Weekly to advertise your Yard Sale. 4 lines of text and a free Yard Sale kit for an unbeatable price of $20. Kit includes 3 large signs, pricing stickers, success tips and checklist.

BW FREE PETS KRONK NEEDS A HOME Great Dog (Kronk) needs a good home! Good with other dogs & people. Been though obedient school. Lab-pit mix 9 yrs old. Questions call Brian 602-4160.

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1/2 hr. $15. FULL BODY. Hot oil, 24/7. I travel. 880-5772. New website massagebyeric.com. Male Only. Private Boise studio.

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These pets can be adopted at the Idaho Humane Society.

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www.idahohumanesociety.com 4775 W. Dorman St. Boise | 208-342-3508

MOE: 7-year-old male domestic shorthair. Enjoys a calm home. Litterbox-trained. Good with other cats and children. (Kennel 4#16667911)

INDY: 2-year-old male border collie mix—101 pounds. House-trained. Good with kids, cats and dogs. Family oriented dog. (Kennel 320- #16665673)

BARON: 1-year-old male Australian cattle dog/boxer mix. House-, crate-trained. Needs lots of exercise. Good with older kids. (Kennel 307- #15416905)

SHORTY: 3-year-old male Staffordshire terrier mix. Compact with an adorable face. Appears to be housetrained. (Kennel 315#16559523)

PENELOPE: 1-year-old female Siamese mix. Gets along well with other cats. Enjoys her pal Miss Mask. Litterbox-trained. (Kennel 13- #16716978)

MISS MASK: 10-monthold female Siamese mix. Friendly, litterboxtrained. Gets along well with cats, loves her pal Penelope. (Kennel 13#16716971)

These pets can be adopted at Simply Cats. www.simplycats.org 2833 S. Victory View Way | 208-343-7177

PAXTON: Got mice? Adopt me. I’m free.

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FRANCESCA: I’m beau- ARISTOTLE: I am a tiful, playful and have Staff Pick for July. Only experience with dogs. $20 to adopt me. What’s not to love?

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RELAXATION MASSAGE Call Ami at 208-697-6231. ULM 340-8377. Hrs. 8:30AM8PM.

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CROHNS/IBD SUPPORT GROUP As a health practitioner I want to see people creating community connections & finding support amongst family, friends, & neighbors. I see those suffering from various inflammatory bowl disorders & want to create a space for these individuals to come together, here from each other, learn about & share success stories, as well as provide a platform for education. Meetings will be the First Monday of every month at 4346 Rose Hill. Please RSVP via email. steveninboise@ yahoo.com

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NYT CROSSWORD | MAKE THE CHANGE BY JOEL FAGLIANO / EDITED BY WILL SHORTZ 22 So happy you can’t see straight? 25 Where to enter the theater, usually 26 Where “it’s fun to stay” in a 1978 hit 27 Gleamed 28 Deserving praise 30 “Sk8er ___,” 2002 top 10 hit 31 Acid

ACROSS 1 Hose shape 5 Building blocks 11 “The Office” woman 14 QB feats 17 Years in old Rome 18 Capital city formerly behind the Iron Curtain 19 Nephew of Cain 21 “Let’s Get Lost” singer Baker

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49 Bear’s cry 50 Circle above the airport? 55 Manager with four World Series titles 57 Very clumsy person, in slang 58 Subject of the 19th, 24th and 26th Amendments 62 Willing to do 65 TWA competitor

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34 Argument about a forktailed bird? 36 Apt 39 Spend the night 40 Arizona senator Jon 41 It represents a 0 or 1 42 Trendy antioxidant berry 43 “Yeah, right” 45 Org. full of big shots? 47 Calpurnia’s dream in “Julius Caesar” and others

67 See 77-Across 69 Optima maker 70 Making one’s way down the corporate ladder? 76 [This ticks me off] 77 With 67-Across, “That’s not true!” 78 Relative of a harrumph 79 Not flat, say 80 One of two for four 82 Slalom obstacle 85 Passing 88 Breed hatred in? 91 It’s seen on many roadside signs 95 When the witches in “Macbeth” say “Double, double toil and trouble” 98 “Sure thing” 99 ___ beetle 100 Eternally 101 Canterbury can 102 Org. trying to clear the air? 105 Ed Wood player in “Ed Wood” 108 Squad cars 110 Woman who’s the very best at saying no? 114 Part of TBS: Abbr. 115 Pal of Pooh 116 Modern marketplace 117 Like the verbs “come” and “go”: Abbr. 119 “Baseball Tonight” broadcaster 121 Bulldogs 122 Really enjoy giving specifics? 127 Art ___ 128 Alexander Graham Bell, by birth 129 Get ready for a bomb, say 130 Corona garnish 131 Require (of) 132 “Your point being …?” 133 Some closeups 134 Take too much of, briefly

DOWN 1 It might be caught in the rain 2 Unrepeated 3 Hostile 4 Nickname for the Philadelphia Eagles’ stadium, with “the” 5 Downed 6 Arranged, as the hair 7 Partners of scepters 8 Indiana political family 9 Gives support to 10 Spotted in the vicinity of 11 Eastern Canadian prov. 12 White, informally 13 Hair line? 14 Old Yankee nickname 15 Given a hand 16 Some are mean 20 Home office site 21 Curmudgeon 23 Painter portrayed by Adrien Brody in “Midnight in Paris” 24 Stanford of Stanford University 29 Actor Alain 30 Predilection 32 Marsh bird 33 It’s a first 35 Zither cousins 37 “Get Low” rapper 38 Orange sign 44 Organ holder 46 Ancient royal symbol 48 Network with an annual awards show 51 German women 52 Fake 53 Not wavy, say 54 Basso Pinza 56 Hardly an exercise in restraint 59 “I get your point. Jeez!” 60 Pitchfork part 61 Unhurried 62 Fashionable boots 63 Read carefully 64 Like some offers

66 Van Gogh’s “Starry Night Over the ___” 68 David Cameron’s alma mater 71 ___ party 72 Red Scare grp. 73 Mild oaths 74 “I won’t bore you with the rest” 75 What a Latino immigrant might learn 81 Sam Cooke’s “That’s ___ Quit — I’m Movin’ On” 83 “Know ___ enemy” 84 Bit of music at a music conservatory 86 Old Russian line 87 One to consult for PC problems 89 Birthday party, e.g. 90 Words heard at a birthday party 92 Like pro athletes, some say 93 Jump accompanier? 94 +/95 War on terror target 96 Combines 97 Part of an ice skate 103 Combines L A S T T E M P A R A R M A N I I C A S C E L A O S O T T N A T H E N I A U B O R N A L O T Y E W G T O E A A N N L G E R E L I O N I D O N A T E S S

T A L O N

S T A N D S M I A N C R I O N T R E O T A N O E L M O M A A D

S T E E R D O T T I E

Go to www.boiseweekly. com and look under extras for the answers to this week’s puzzle. Don't think of it as cheating. Think of it more as simply double-checking your answers.

W E E K ’ S G M A C

S E M I

104 One of the five Olympic rings 106 Filled turnovers 107 “Steel Magnolias” actress 109 “Hmm …” 111 Petro-Canada competitor 112 English county 113 “Traffic Crossing ___ Bridge” (pioneering 1888 film footage) 118 Hit Fox show 120 W.W. II battle city 123 Airport approximation: Abbr. 124 Word before rip or slip 125 Infielder feats: Abbr. 126 “Dancing With the Stars” judge Goodman

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M A R L I M O B M U R N E A M D O F J N E I V N R E N E R S T T F I A L M R A B E T A A S L

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NOTICES BW LEGAL NOTICES IN THE DISTRICT COURT FOR THE 4TH JUDICIAL DISTRICT FOR THE STATE OF IDAHO, IN AND FOR THE COUNTY OF ADA IN RE: Robert Lane Daigre Case No. CVNC1210286 NOTICE OF HEARING ON NAME CHANGE (Adult) A Petition to change the name

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of Robert Lane Daigre, now residing in the City of Boise, State of Idaho, has been filed in the District Court in ADA County Idaho. The name will change to Robert Lane Hoopes. The reason for the change is because my stepfather raised me. A hearing on the petition is scheduled for 1:30 o’clock p.m. August 16, 2012 at the ADA County Courthouse. Objections may be filed by any person who can show the court a good reason against the name change. Date: June 12, 2012 CLERK OF THE DISTRICT COURT By: Deirdre Price Deputy Clerk SUMMONS CASE NO.CVOC1108168 IN THE DISTRICT COURT OF THE FOURTH JUDICIAL DISTRICT OF THE STATE OF IDAHO, IN AND FOR THE COUNTY OF ADA PALOUSE SUB. TOWNHOUSES, INC. (THE), a Idaho Nonprofit Corporation, Plaintiff -vs- GENEVIERE A> EVANS, an individual, Defendant. NOTICE YOU HAVE BEEN SUED BY THE ABOVE-NAMES PLAINTIFF. THE COURT MAY ENTER JUDGMENT AGAINST YOU WITHOUT FURTHER NOTICE UNLESS YOU RESPOND WITHIN 20 DAYS READ THE INFORMATION BELOW. TO: DEDENDANT, GENEVIERE A. EVANS You are hereby notified that in order to defend the lawsuit, an appropriate written response must be filed with the above designated court within twenty (20) days after service of this Summons on you. If you fail to so respond, the court may enter judgment against you as demanded by Plaintiff’s the Complaint. A copy of the Complaint is served with this Summons, If you wish to seek the advice or representation by an attorney in this matter, you should do so promptly so that your written response, if any, may be filed in time and other legal rights protected. An appropriate written response requires with Rule 10(a)(1) and other Idaho Rules of Civil Procedure and shall also include: 1. The title and number of the case. 2. If your response is an Answer to the Complaint, it must contain admissions or denials of the separate allegations of the Complaint and other defenses you may claim. 3. Your signature, mailing address, and telephone number or the signature, mailing address, and telephone number of your attorney. 4. Proof of mailing or delivery of a copy of your response to Plaintiff’s attorney, as designated above. To determine whether you must pay a filing fee with your response, contact the clerk of the above-named court. DATED this 27th day of April, 2011. Christopher D. Rich, Clerk of the District Court, by Patricia A. Dwonch, Deputy Clerk Shane O. Bengoechea, ISB#2945, BENGOECHEA LAW OFFICE, PLLC, 671 E. Riverpark Ln., Suite 120, Boise, ID 83706, Tel: 208424-8332, Attorney for Plaintiff Published June 27, July 4, 11 & 18, 2012. IN THE DISTRICT COURT FOR THE FOURTH JUDICIAL DISTRICT FOR THE STATE OF IDAHO, IN AND FOR THE COUNTY OF ADA IN RE: Linnea Serendee Morris Case No. CV NC 1222220 NOTICE OF HEARING ON NAME CHANGE (Adult)

A Petition to change the name of Linnea Serendee Morris, now residing in the City of Boise, State of Idaho, has been filed in the District Court in Ada County, Idaho. The name will change to Seren Morris Clancy. The reason for the change in name is: marriage and to have consistency because my name is different on my birth cert. & social security. A hearing on the petition is scheduled for 130 o’clock p.m. on (date) August 23, 2012 at the Ada County Courthouse. Objections may be filed by any person who can show the court a good reason against the name change. Date: Jun 26 2012 CLERK OF THE DISTRICT COURT By: DEIRDRE PRICE Deputy Clerk Pub. July 11, 18, 25 & Aug, 1, 2012. IN THE DISTRICT COURT FOR THE FOURTH JUDICIAL DISTRICT FOR THE STATE OF IDAHO, IN AND FOR THE COUNTY OF ADA IN RE: Jennifer Rae Frost Case No. CV NC 1211692 NOTICE OF HEARING ON NAME CHANGE (Adult) A Petition to change the name of Jennifer Rae Frost, now residing in the City of Boise, State of Idaho, has been filed in the District Court in ADA County, Idaho. The name will change to Jennifer Rae Taylor. The reason for the change in name is: because I divorced my spouse. A hearing on the petition is scheduled for 1:30 o’clock p.m. on (date) August 30, 2012 at eh ADA County Courthouse. Objections may be filed by any person who can show the court a good reason against the name change. Date: Jul 06 2012 CLERK OF THE COURT By Deirdre Price Deputy Clerk Pub. July 18, 25, Aug. 1 & 8, 2012.

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BW PEN PALS Pen Pals complimentary ads for our incarcerated friends are run on a space-available basis and may be edited for content. Readers are encouraged to use caution and discretion when communicating with Pen Pals, whose backgrounds are not checked prior to publication. Boise Weekly accepts no responsibility for any relationships that may arise from contacting these inmates. SWM looking for fun and a pen pal. I really enjoy writing and having a laugh. I’m 52, but feel like 25. Brown hair , blue eyes and 192 lbs. Dennis Abbott #21214 MA51A PO Box 14 Boise, ID 83707. 6’3”, green eyed, brown haired 25 y.o. hopeless romantic, unique SWM ISO an honest, no games, understanding SF with a more to love plus sized body. Between 2130 y.o. looking for lively person to talk to. Maybe more but not necessary. Kyle Navarro #87737 ISCI Unit 8-B-52 Boise, ID 83707.

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BOISEweekly C L A S S I F I E D S | JULY 18–24, 2012 | 37

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY ARIES (March 21-April 19): Acro-yoga is a relatively new physical discipline. According to a description I read on a flier in Santa Cruz, Calif., it “blends the spiritual wisdom of yoga, the loving kindness of massage and the dynamic power of acrobatics.” I’d love to see you work on creating a comparable hybrid in the coming months, Aries—some practice or approach that would allow you to weave your various specialties into a synergetic whole. Start brainstorming about that impossible dream now and soon it won’t seem so impossible. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Unless you grow your own or buy the heirloom variety at farmers markets, you probably eat a lot of tasteless tomatoes. Blame it on industrial-scale farming and supermarket chains. They’ve bred tomatoes to be homogenous and bland—easy to ship and pretty to look at. But there’s a sign of hope: A team of scientists at the University of Florida is researching what makes tomatoes taste delicious and is working to bring those types back into mainstream availability. I think the task you have ahead of you in the coming weeks is metaphorically similar, Taurus. You should see what you can do to restore lost flavor, color and soulfulness. Opt for earthy idiosyncrasies over fake and boring perfection. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): It’ll be a humming, murmuring, whispering kind of week—a time when the clues you need will most likely arrive via ripplings and rustlings and whirrings. Here’s the complication: Some of the people around you may be more attracted to clangs and bangs and jangles. They may imagine that the only information worth paying attention to is the stuff that’s loudest and strongest. But I hope you won’t be seduced by their attitudes. I trust you’ll resist the appeals of the showy noise. Be a subtlety specialist who loves nuance and undertones. Listen mysteriously. CANCER (June 21-July 22): Most change is slow and incremental. The shifts happen so gradually that they are barely noticeable while you’re living in the midst of them. Then there are those rare times when the way everything fits together mutates quickly. Relationships that have been evolving in slow motion begin to speed up. Long-standing fixations melt away. Mystifying questions get clear answers. I think you’re at one of these junctures now, Cancerian. It’s not likely you’ll be too surprised by anything that happens, though. That’s because you’ve been tracking the energetic buildup for a while, and it will feel right and natural when the rapid ripening kicks in.

38 | JULY 18–24, 2012 | BOISEweekly

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Lately, you’ve been spending time in both the off-kilter parts of paradise and the enchanting areas of limbo. On one notable occasion, you even managed to be in both places. How’d you do that? The results have been colorful but often paradoxical. What you don’t want and what you do want have gotten a bit mixed up. You have had to paw your way out of a dead-end confusion but have also been granted a sublime breakthrough. You explored a tunnel to nowhere but also visited a thrilling vista that provided you with some medicinal excitement. What will you do for an encore? Hopefully nothing that complicated. I suggest you spend the next few days chilling out and taking inventory of all that’s changed. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): The painter Philip Guston loved to express himself creatively. He said it helped him to get rid of his certainty, to divest himself of what he knew. By washing away the backlog of old ideas, he freed himself to see the world as new. In light of your astrological omens, Virgo, Guston’s approach sounds like a good strategy. The next couple of weeks will be an excellent time to explore the pleasures of unlearning and deprogramming. You will thrive by discarding stale preconceptions, loosening the past’s hold on you, and clearing out room in your brain for fresh imaginings. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Charles Dickens wrote about harsh social conditions. He specialized in depicting ugly realities about poverty, crime and classism. Yet one critic described him as a “genial and loving humorist” who showed that “even in dealing with the darkest scenes and the most-degraded characters, genius could still be clean and mirth could be innocent.” I’m thinking that Dickens might be an inspirational role model for you in the coming weeks, Libra. It will be prime time for you to expose difficult truths, agitate for justice and speak up on behalf of those less fortunate. You’ll get the best results by maintaining your equanimity and good cheer. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): For many years, ambergris was used as a prime ingredient in perfumes. And where does ambergris come from? It’s basically whale vomit. Sperm whales produce it in their gastrointestinal tracts to protect them from the sharp beaks of giant squid they’ve eaten, then spew it out of their mouths. With that as your model, Scorpio, I challenge you to convert an inelegant aspect of your life into a fine asset, even a beautiful blessing. I don’t expect you to accomplish this task overnight, but I do hope you will finish by May 2013.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): “Interruption” will be a word of power for you in the coming days. No, really: I’m not being ironic, sarcastic or satirical. It is possible that the interruptions will initially seem inconvenient or undesirable, but I bet you will eventually feel grateful for their intervention. They will knock you out of grooves you need to be knocked out of. They will compel you to pay attention to clues you’ve been neglecting. Don’t think of them as random acts of cosmic whimsy, but rather as divine strokes of luck that are meant to redirect your energy to where it should be. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): You don’t have to stand in a provocative pose to be sexy. You don’t have to lick your lips or radiate a smoldering gaze or wear clothes that dramatically reveal your body’s most-appealing qualities. You already know all that stuff, of course; in light of this week’s assignment, I just wanted to remind you. And what is that assignment? To be profoundly attractive and alluring without being obvious about it. With that as your strategy, you’ll draw the exact blessings and benefits you need to you. So do you have any brilliant notions about how to proceed? Here’s one idea: Be utterly at peace with who you really are. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): I brazenly predict, my dear Aquarius, that in the next 10 months, you will fall in love with love more deeply than you have in more than a decade. You will figure out a way to exorcise the demons that have haunted your relationship with romance, and you will enjoy some highly entertaining amorous interludes. The mysteries of intimacy will reveal new secrets to you and you will have good reasons to redefine the meaning of “fun.” Is there any way these prophecies of mine could possibly fail to materialize? Yes, but only if you take yourself too seriously and insist on remaining attached to the old days and old ways. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Be alert for fake magic and make yourself immune to its seductive appeal. Do not, under any circumstances, allow yourself to get snookered by sexy delusions, enticing hoaxes or clever mirages. There will in fact be some real magic materializing in your vicinity, and if you hope to recognize it, you must not be distracted by the counterfeit stuff. This is a demanding assignment, Pisces. You will have to be both skeptical and curious, tough-minded and innocently receptive. Fortunately, the astrological omens suggest you now have an enhanced capacity to live on that edge.

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