BOISE WEEKLY DECEMBER 5-11 , 2018
LOCA L A N D I N D E PE N D E N T
VO L U M E 2 7, I S S U E 2 5
Weather or Not
Light it Up
In the Bag
Check out two competing weather forecasts
A pest control company turns to holiday lighting
Behind the scenes at Boise designer Bella Modi
6-7
8
9 FREE TAKE ONE!
2 | DECEMBER 5–11, 2018 | BOISEWEEKLY
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EDITOR’S NOTE SNOW SHOVELS, HANDBAGS, CHRISTMAS LIGHTS AND PIZZA, PIZZA, PIZZA Boise’s first blast of winter weather saw most of us rushing to our closets for our winter wardrobes, to the garage to dust off our snow shovels and ice scrapers, and to the hardware store for deicer and windshield fluid. It also got us thinking about the longrange outlook for the season ahead. To take a closer look at that, I spent some time at the Boise office of the National Weather Service and spoke with those who take the business of forecasting very seriously. Check out that story on page 6. A little less serious but every bit as charming look at the forecast came from Sandi Duncan, the managing editor of the Farmers’ Almanac, which this is celebrating its 200th anniversary this year. My interview with Duncan, the first woman editor in the history of the publication, is on page 7. On page 9, BW contributing writer Brian Millar visits Boise handbag designer Kim Mitchell-Catlett, who invites us behind the scenes of her company, Bella Modi, to get a peak at its customizable concept. Contributing writer Skylar Barsanti next takes us out to Nampa to visit the folks behind Silver Bells Decorative Lighting Solutions. Owners Chelsea and Travis Stevens first started out with a successful pest control company, but discovered a new passion when they began designing patio, landscaping and event lighting. Read Skylar’s story on page 8. BW’s Lex Nelson is up next on page 10 to introduce us to the woman behind Press & Still, a Boise-based small-batch perfume maker that is about to launch its first full line of perfumes and aroma therapy products. I’ll be back on page 11 to preview At Eternity’s Gate, a provocative new film starring Willem Dafoe as Vincent van Gogh, and Lex will return on page 12 to visit no less than three different local pizzarias: Firenza, which opens Tuesday, Dec. 11; the already-opened Spitfire Craft Pizza & Pints on the Boise Bench; and Americana Pizza, which promises to open on Americana Boulevard by months’ end. —George Prentice, Editor
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BOISEWEEKLY | DECEMBER 5–11, 2018 | 3
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LAUGH IT UP John Caparulo, a favorite on late-night TV best known as the “underdressed everyman� on Chelsea Lately, brings his comedy act to Boise’s Liquid this week. Read our preview at Arts & Culture/ Stage.
THE ART OF MAKING ART Boise visual artist Kate Masterson is the latest short-term artist-in-residence at the James Castle House. She displayed her still-in-progress works Dec. 1. Read more at Arts & Culture/Visual Art.
BING BOUNCED FROM BCM Screenings of White Christmas by Boise Classic Movies have been cancelled after selling more than 1,000 tickets. Find out why at Screen/Screen News.
OPINION
4 | DECEMBER 5–11, 2018 | BOISEWEEKLY
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BOISEWEEKLY | DECEMBER 5–11, 2018 | 5
GEORGE PRENTICE
MISSION CONTROL
Public safety, economic impacts are key to the mission of the National Weather Service GEORGE PRENTICE
Meteorologist Jessica Caubre works the Aviation Desk and crafts a long-range forecast at the Boise office of the National Weather Service.
One person’s winter wonderland is another’s snowmageddon—and it turns out that politics aren’t nearly as divisive as cold weather. Take, for example, this past week when Boise was draped in a blanket of snow. Fans of fresh powder went into a tizzy as they dusted off their skis and snowboards. But just as many folks grumbled as they trekked to the hardware store to stock up on dei-icer and windshield wiper fluid. Love it or loathe it, there’s no hiding from winter. Face it: commerce, construction, recreation, even educational and governmental entities are no match for a blast of wicked winter weather. Look no further than three winters ago, when Boise was crippled by an unprecedented snowpocalypse. Then there was the winter two years ago, which was so dry it left ski resorts swimming in red ink and triggered a nearly year-long drought. All of this makes the men and women who work 24/7 year-round at the Boise office of the National Weather Service the most important team in the region. To be sure, the NWS office is serious business, and its guarded facility is high-tech heaven. Imagine a wall of huge video monitors streaming real-time imagery—temperatures, precipitation, cloud cover, wind, atmospheric pressure, jet streams, you name it. But the real show-stoppers are the high-def photographs that come complements of something called GOES-17, a satellite launched earlier this year 6 | DECEMBER 5–11, 2018 | BOISEWEEKLY
that beams back to Earth unprecedented images of the western hemisphere. To date, it’s the biggest howitzer in the western U.S. meteorologist’s arsenal. “Here, take a look at this. The resolution is much finer, both in time and space,” said Jay Breidenbach, a warning coordination meteorologist and 25-year veteran of the NWS. Breidenbach quickly turned to his colleagues (there are 23 in total, 12 of them forecasters). “Please zoom in on this disturbance,” he said before turning back to the giant western map as it zoomed in to central California. In seconds, a gray, lava-like river of fog sweeping across the San Joaquin Valley filled the screen. “It flows like water. We’ve never seen anything like this before. And here’s why it’s particularly important for our part of the west: Previously, when we’d watch a storm, a number of areas in the west haven’t had good radar images. But now, we’re watching it from this satellite, from directly above. It’s a huge difference.” This winter, the NWS office in Boise will be turning to the GOES-17 a lot, along with more than 22,000 grid points scattered throughout the western Idaho and eastern Idaho coverage areas, to craft precise forecasts. Breidenbach told Boise Weekly that right now, there’s a good chance that Boise will get an El Nino for Christmas (and beyond).
“There’s actually an El Nino Watch in effect right now. We’re keeping a close eye on ocean temperatures in the Pacific near the equator. When those temperatures average out to be warmer than the average for this time of year, that will make it an El Nino. And as we speak, we’re seeing a warm mass of water just beneath the water’s surface out there,” he said. “That in turn would push the jet stream further north here in the western U.S.” In simpler terms, that means: “Warmer, drier weather. December, January, February and into March. Make no mistake, we’ll have snow, but…” Breidenbach paused for a moment. “Do you remember the winter of 2015/16? Warmer than normal. Ski resorts struggled. Boise only saw about 10 inches of snow that year. The next year, we had La Nina conditions when we had snowmageddon—about 40 inches of snow. Last year was pretty typical. But it’s looking like El Nino again for this year.” Breidenbach pointed to two pie charts that were crafted at the NWS home office. The first indicated a 53 percent chance of the Treasure Valley winding up with a warm winter. A second pie chart indicated that there was a 66 percent chance of Boise experiencing near-normal or below-normal precipitation this year. “Sometimes, it’s as many as seven years between El Nino weather systems. The anomalies are usually during the winter,” he added.
“But the impact of a below-normal snowpack could set us up for droughts during the summer months.” That accentuates the serious nature of weather forecasting. “The economic impact is a very big part of our mission. If you think about any business, weather plays a big role. Think about how weather through the month of December will impact the holiday shopping season, and of course, travel. We have a very close working relationship with the airport here in Boise. We have a private chat room and our meteorologists are always working on something called the Terminal Aerodrome Forecast, commonly known to aviators as the TAF,” said Breidenbach. But the biggest part of the mission is, and always will be, public safety. “This year’s Hurricane Michael was devastating to the Gulf Coast. But look back to the Galveston [Texas] hurricane of 1900, which claimed maybe 10,000 lives. Hurricane Michael was of similar intensity. Unfortunately, about 50 people died. [But] we knew it was coming. A lot of people were prepared,” said Breidenbach. That’s all the more reason to praise the mission of the National Weather Service. “Nationwide, there were 17 disasters last year which exceeded $1 billion,” said Breidenbach. “We’re on the same pace again this year.” BOISE WEEKLY.COM
COURTESY FA RM ERS’ A LMA NAC
CITIZEN SANDI DUNCAN
A Farmers’ Almanac editor explains its own secret weather forecast formula GEORGE PRENTICE
It’s interesting to note that this year’s issue hits newsstands in late August, not the end of the year. We have 16 months of weather forecasts, all the way through December 2019. People just like to plan way into the future—their vacations, their weddings and, of course, their planting.
That’s a rather wide editorial window. When do you begin putting together the weather forecast for the 2019/2020 issue? I’m actually holding it in my hot little hands right now. Wait a minute, what? I’ve heard of longrange forecasts, but that’s difficult to take seriously. We put it together almost two years in advance and it’s still pretty accurate. BOISE WEEKLY.COM
That said, let’s dive into your latest Farmers’ Almanac forecast, particularly for our region of the country. For this winter, average temperatures and then very wet conditions. It could be snow, it could be rain, it could be wet snow. And for much of the rest of the nation, you’re predicting teeth-chattering cold this winter. Darn-right cold. You guys are pretty lucky, because west of the Rockies, it shouldn’t be terribly cold. But we’re predicting a rough winter for the eastern half of the country. Apart from the weather forecasts, you have some intriguing articles in this year’s Almanac, including reports on the planet’s plastic problem, the history of beer and something that hasn’t changed for many years: a lot of stories about cats and dogs. We also have some interesting trivia, such as: “What did people use before there was toilet paper?”
What’s your circulation? We have our branded edition, plus special customized editions where companies can put their own logos on the cover, plus our Canadian version. We have over 2 million [issues] in circulation. Once your issue is out, what do you do for the rest of the year? We have 1.2 million followers on Facebook and a lot of content at farmersalmanac.com. We’re also on Pinterest, Instagram and Twitter. Believe it or not, we’re starting to assign stories for our 2020 issue.
Can I assume that you’ve been told by meteorologists that you simply can’t forecast the weather that far into the future? I like to warn people that I don’t know of anyone who can predict the weather with 100 percent accuracy, even the people who are forecasting the weather 24 hours in advance. I think it’s kind of nice in this world to be reminded that we can’t control everything in nature.
So, let’s dive into that. Do you have a team of weather forecasters? We actually have someone that we call a “weather calculator.” He’s a real person but goes by the name of Caleb Weatherby. We keep his identity secret because the forecast is a proprietary secret.
COURTESY FARMERS’ ALMANAC
Sandi Duncan grew up on a farm but couldn’t wait to get far away from that lifestyle as soon as possible. “When I was a teenager, I didn’t want anything to do with it,” she said. “It was horrible work. So I went to school to get a job in communications.” She did just that, first landing a gig in advertising, then as a writer, editor and eventually managing editor of the Farmers’ Almanac. “The stars were all lined up right, particularly with my personal background and professional experience,” she said. This is Duncan’s 25th year with the Mainebased Farmers’ Almanac, and 20th as its managing editor.
But weather records, patterns and all of that data aren’t secrets. Look, there’s a Pepsi Cola formula [and] a Kentucky Fried Chicken formula. People always want to know the details. Our formula was created in 1818 and it has been adjusted somewhat, but it’s a formula known by only one person. I promise you, it’s not something out of the clear blue sky or a Woolly Bear Caterpillar. It’s a mathematical, astronomical formula that looks at sunspot activity, the position of the planets, tidal action of the moon and a variety of other factors.
I cringed a bit when I read that. Broken pieces of pottery? Corn on the cob? Please help me erase that image from my brain. Corn on the cob, really? It’s absorbent, I guess. Let’s change the topic as soon as possible. I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that 2018 was a big anniversary. It’s our 200th year. David Young was a poet, astronomer and teacher in New Jersey in 1818. He wrote and edited the Farmers’ Almanac until the Hart family and, ultimately, the Geiger family in the 1930s. And it was Peter Geiger who hired me, the first woman editor in Farmers’ Almanac history. BOISEWEEKLY | DECEMBER 5–11, 2018 | 7
COURTESY WARD HOOPE R
CULTURE NEWS
ARTS & CULTURE EXTERMINATING THE CHRISTMAS LIGHT HASSLE How one Nampa couple quit pest control for holiday lighting SK YL AR BARSANTI
A HAPPY HO-HO-HOLIDAY ALBUM The holiday classic “Baby It’s Cold Outside” has come under fire. A Cleveland, Ohio, radio station has pulled it from its normal holiday rotation, characterizing its story about a man pressuring a woman to stay at a holiday party despite her protestations as predatory. The move has effectively made the 1944 song by Frank Loesser the latest #MeToo movement casualty. For the song’s fans, the new wind may feel like a gale, but it’s blowing in updated mores about consent and respect. Riding that same breeze is this year’s Ida Ho Ho: A Collection of Idaho Musicians (Uncommon Records, 2018) Christmas album, the proceeds from which will go to an organization that holds those new mores close to its mission: the Women’s and Children’s Alliance. “What a truly amazing gift from local Idaho artists to our clients, a gift that will fund the safe shelter and wraparound services they need to break the cycle of domestic violence for themselves and their children,” wrote WCA Executive Director Bea Black in a statement. The Ida Ho Ho series has already established an impressive run of holiday giving. It has been a stocking stuffer for the last nine years, and its past beneficiaries included venerable organizations like the Idaho Foodbank. This is the second year running that the WCA will take home a cut of sales. This year’s album itself isn’t out to dislodge The Time-Life Treasury of Christmas (Time Life, 1986) from CD collections, but it’s obvious the performers and producers had a grand old time cutting it. It opens with “Santa Looked a Lot Like Daddy” by The Mighty Red Melons; other oddities include “Santa Will Find You” by Ashley Rose, and Sun Blood Stories’ “Just The Way It Glows.” Ida Ho Ho is all about fun, and it attracted some of Boise’s best emerging musicians, like Kali J., Red Light Challenge, Audio Moonshine, David Robert King, and Dusty Leigh & The Claim Jumpers. The album will roll out in traditionally high style with live performances by participating artists at The Record Exchange on Thursday, Dec. 6, and the holiday spirit will continue with a benefit concert at the Visual Arts Collective on Saturday, Dec. 8, hosted by Tim Johnstone. —Harrison Berry 8 | DECEMBER 5–11, 2018 | BOISEWEEKLY
Let’s face it: Putting up holiday lights can be as unpleasant as finding a spider in your bathtub, and getting on a ladder in the biting winter air just to find that a handful of bulbs are missing is nearly as big a hassle as an ant invasion. Having spent some time in the pest control business, Chelsea and Travis Stevens saw those similarities when they transitioned to putting up holiday lights. “We owned a pest control company with other business partners, and we loved it,” said Chelsea. “We had multiple locations across the country, but we spent a lot of time traveling and being away from home. Then, a few years ago, we bought our first house, got pregnant, and we realized that lifestyle and pace weren’t what we were looking for anymore, so we sold our share of the business.” The Stevens opened Silver Bells Decorative Lighting Solutions in 2015, thinking it would be a seasonal business, installing lights only prior to the holidays. But by the end of their first season, the Stevens knew Silver Bells had potential. And business hasn’t let up since. Today, they’ve expanded their services to professional patio, landscaping and event lighting design year-round. “We had a lot of experience in home services and realized there was a need for great lighting services in the Treasure Valley,” Chelsea said. “Most companies providing Christmas lights do it as an add-on service, so we spent a lot of time training, researching and networking with industry experts to make sure we could provide the best possible home lighting services in the area.” For the Stevens, the transition from one business to another was natural. In pest control, they were in charge of the company’s sales and marketing initiatives. They weren’t as involved with the product and application, but their background in recruiting and sales allowed them to jump into a new service. When Boise Weekly first spoke with Chelsea in early November, her phone was already ringing off the hook. Silver Bells’ customers, it seemed, shifted holiday gears as soon as they shut their doors on the last trick-or-treaters. Luckily, the company’s 14 employees had been in holiday mode for the previous seven weeks, cutting wire, fitting bulbs and installing strings of lights. Originally equipped with only a website and a handful of loyal customers, Silver Bells has grown every season. Chelsea anticipates the company will complete between 400 and 500 projects this year alone, from hundred-dollar undertak-
SILVER BELLS DECOR ATIVE LIGHTING SO LU TIONS
Boise will celebrate Ida Ho Ho at two different events this week.
In Boise, holiday lighting is serious business.
ings with simple lights along a roofline to more elaborate neighborhood installations for places like Eagle’s Lakemoor subdivision. “Consistent quote requests have been coming in since July, a little earlier than usual,” Chelsea said. “I haven’t had to do any paid advertising for over two years. I designed our website and did all the SEO, and we’ve generated good traffic from that. We also get a lot of business from referrals— at least 25 percent.” What keeps these customers coming back and telling their friends and neighbors is the company’s unique lighting program. Silver Bells custom cuts each project from 1,000-foot spools of wire, assembling bulbs and clips in a Nampa warehouse. “Some customers will come to us with a plan for exactly what they want, and we roll with that and make suggestions as needed,” Chelsea said. “Others know they want professional help and have ideas but really want a custom design. And because ours is a lease program, we provide everything.” With the lease program, customers don’t have to buy or store their lights. And Silver Bells takes full responsibility for their condition. If a bulb or string burns out, customers call in and a worker is dispatched to fix the problem for no additional cost. “We know lighting is a luxury service, so each customer deserves to have something to love and
be excited about,” Chelsea said. “From quote to design to removal, we want to make it easy.” While many smaller jobs can be done in a day, Silver Bells’ larger installations can take much longer. The Lakemoor subdivision, for example, takes several weeks, with crews out every day. In addition to the bridge on Eagle Road and Colchester Drive, the team of full- and part-time workers also adds lights to the trees, shrubs and gated entrances. “Even though we do it every year, Lakemoor is still my favorite,” Chelsea said. “I go out every year and take updated pictures. It’s the one we take our friends and family from out of town to see. Our other big residential job is in south Meridian, where we do a huge pine tree in white lights—you can see it from a mile away. We also did the lighting for Stillwater Hollow, a gorgeous wedding and events venue in Nampa. It’s their first year with professional lights, and it’ll be one of my new favorites.” So much, then, for a slower-paced side gig. The business has grown far bigger than Chelsea and Travis imagined, and Chelsea said it outstrips their old job of wrangling bugs in entertainment value, too. “Pest control isn’t fun,” she said. “The interactions with the people were fantastic, but now we finish a project, and we get to stand back and say, ‘Wow, I did that.’ It’s been really rewarding.” BOISE WEEKLY.COM
ARTS & CULTURE IT’S ALL IN THE BAG
Boise-based handbag designer Bella Modi gives freedom to the customer
COOL PEOPLE BUY LOCAL
60+ ARTISANS
MON-SAT 10-6PM SUN 11-3PM
BRIAN MILL AR PH OTOS COURTESY BELL A MODI
108 N 6TH ST. BOISE, ID
@IDAHOMADE
Kim Mitchell-Catlett (left) is the designer behind Bella Modi’s customizable bags, jewlery and shoes.
Subjectivity is a cornerstone of fashion. Like art, a garment or accessory is either admired or not depending on personal taste. With so many different styles and functions, fashion has a certain air of adaptability, too, and attraction to that versatility is what led Boise designer Kim Mitchell-Catlett to create her label, Bella Modi, seven years ago. Mitchell-Catlett’s business has an interesting model: It allows customers to design their own handbags, essentially adapting each bag to their specific needs. “I don’t know anyone who’s found their perfect bag, they always compromise,” said Mitchell-Catlett. “We took that concept to heart and built a design configurator that allows people to go online and build the bag that is exactly what they want. Somebody can pick the handles they want, different kinds of pockets, and mix and match [the] colors of the leather and how they want the bag to close.” When Mitchell-Catlett set out to create her label, she didn’t want people to sacrifice their needs when choosing a bag. But when she began seeking out manufacturers, she had a hard time finding one that would take her concept of customized production seriously. “It just didn’t exist,” said Mitchell-Catlett. “Everything that I sent out was coming back in such poor quality. So, I bought myself a leather sewing machine and taught myself to sew.” “Bella Modi” means “beautiful ways” in Italian, and is an ode to Mitchell-Catlett’s ItalBOISE WEEKLY.COM
ian grandmother, who used to greet her with “Come stai, bella?” or “How are you, beautiful?” when she was a child. Mitchell-Catlett took the word “bella” from that phrase and combined it with “modi,” the word for “ways” in Italian. “It’s about the idea that whatever you put together is going to be beautiful,” she said. While Mitchell-Catlett doesn’t have a traditional background in fashion, her past experience didn’t hinder her when she transitioned careers to become an accessories designer. “I’ve always been in design in some way, shape or form, whether it was interior design or graphic design,” said Mitchell-Catlett. “My work was mostly about bringing clients’ design ideas to life. It was really about the process of figuring out how to get from whatever the idea was to a finished product.” Mitchell-Catlett’s attention to quality carries throughout her label’s production materials. All of Bella Modi’s leathers and many of its other materials come straight from Italy. The bags themselves, which cost between $80 and $450, are manufactured in the label’s studio in Garden City. From the time a bag is designed the buyer’s instructions are sent to the studio, it takes between two and four weeks for MitchellCatlett and her team to construct the bag and send it to the customer. There are three people who make the magic happen. Mitchell-Catlett acts as the designer and owner of the business, but when they get
slammed with orders she still gets her hands dirty in production. “There are many days where I’m sitting there sewing,” she said. “So when we’ve got a lot of orders, I’m at a machine.” Bella Modi specializes in accessories. Previously, the brand only carried handbags, but it has recently launched a jewelry line. Another product that has been a work in progress for a few years is a customizable shoe with interchangeable components, like straps of different colors. “The shoe system lets you redesign your shoes everyday because it comes apart and each component is an individual piece,” said Mitchell-Catlett. “You can mix and match all of these different pieces of the tops that connect to a specific bottom, and get a different look.” Bella Modi’s production studio has also become an incubator of sorts. Mitchell-Catlett has started working with other emerging designers who want to break into production, training them on the entire process of starting a label. “We’ve helped coach other companies through patterning, sampling and the manufacturing process to help them get their businesses [on] their feet,” she said. Currently, Bella Modi’s accessories are only carried on its website and in its studio—buyers can browse online at bellamodihandbags.com, or in person at 5220 N. Sawyer Ave., Ste. B, in Garden City. BOISEWEEKLY | DECEMBER 5–11, 2018 | 9
“My Father’s Death” by Becka Watkins.
TRUTH IS OPTIONAL: FACTS, FICTIONS & LIES CHALLENGES ARTISTS TO NARRATE THEIR WORK Luckily for many storytellers, the maxim “I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth” doesn’t apply to works of art typed, penned or painted. That accepted ambiguity, along with an interest in exploring different media, sparked Treasure Valley Artists’ Alliance Exhibition Chair Theresa Burkes to organize Facts, Fictions & Lies, a contestturned-exhibition that challenged artists to pair their visual works with written stories. “I just love stories, and I wanted the artists to not only tell a story visually, but with their writing,” said Burkes, who writes and works in encaustics, printmaking and collage. “…The whole idea was that we wanted a story—we didn’t care if it was fact, fiction or an outright lie.” Local artists rose to the challenge, submitting work in a variety of media (oil, chalk pastel and watercolor to name a few) with accompanying stories that ranged from funny (Melissa Maxey’s “Pirates of the Caribbean”) to heartwrenching (Becka Watkins’ first place-winning “My Father’s Death”). For many of the artists, it was their first time writing fiction or personal essays, and TVAA partnered with Idaho Writerin-Residence Christian Winn to help those with the strongest stories polish up their pieces in group workshops before the final judging. “I basically had a criteria of creativity, character building, arc of story if it was a short story, lack of cliches and all that,” Winn said. “...Some were less comfortable with it at first—for some people it was kind of like pulling teeth a little bit. Some jumped right in and had plenty to say.” For the last round of judging, Winn chose the best stories, Burkes chose the best art pieces, and they combined the scores they’d given each piece to choose the winners. Those winners and the other top submissions were celebrated Dec. 4, when voice actor Marley Snow-King, previously of Sun Valley’s Company of Fools, read a selection of stories out loud at an opening reception for the exhibition at Boise State University. The 21 paired pieces will be on display there in the Student Union Fine Arts Gallery, as well as online at treasurevalleyartistsalliance.org, through Sunday, Jan. 6, 2019. —Lex Nelson 10 | DECEMBER 5–11, 2018 | BOISEWEEKLY
ARTS & CULTURE
C J WARD PHOTO G R A PH Y
COURTESY BECK A WATKINS
ARTS NEWS
THE SEDUCTION OF SCENT Elise Wishlow of Press & Still perfumery turns essential oils into wearable art LE X NEL SON Boise perfumer Elise Wishlow talks about crafting scent the way other artists talk about painting or music. She starts, she said, with a specific smell in mind—maybe jasmine, rose or spruce—and then blends “up, down and sideways” with her arsenal of essential oils, layering sensory notes over each other like brushstrokes. “The top notes are essences like citrus or really light herbs, and they’re the first that you smell and the first to lift off. They don’t last very long, so you’re going to want quite a few of those in your blend,” she said. “The middle notes are usually the florals—the herbs, some spices—and then your base notes are the heavier fixatives. They’ll generally anchor the blend, and those are woods [and] resins.” It’s a delicate process, and one that can take weeks, months or even years to perfect. But for Wishlow, the soft-spoken mastermind (or, more accurately, “master nose”) behind Boise’s Press & Still perfumery, it’s also a calling that has tugged at her for decades, ever since she took a job at an aromatherapy shop in college that introduced her to essential oils. “I’d probably say [Press & Still] is 20 years in the making. That’s how long I’ve been thinking about it,” she said. Wishlow holds down a job in marketing and graphic design, but she spends every spare hour in her tiny jewel box of a perfume lab on State Street that’s tucked unobtrusively between a barber shop and an auto repair center. It’s chilly inside, crammed with gleaming metal tables and shelf upon shelf of shoe boxes with mysterious labels like “Jasmine 95-113” and “Ros/Ros-Ger 137-162.” “All of these boxes—” Wishlow said, gesturing around the laboratory’s walls, “—are full of teeny, tiny little bottles of past blends that have led to products I have now, or they just never went anywhere.” The discarded scents easily number in the hundreds. And when Wishlow talks about her process, it’s clear why: Her perfumes
Elise Wishlow tests the perfumes in her new Press & Still line.
often begin with as many as 20 different oils, which she blends and re-blends—first by scribbling down ratios on recipe sheets, then by mixing drops of oil—dozens and sometimes hundreds of times before settling on a favorite. The process is stretched out even further because she uses only pure, natural ingredients, which require her to wait two weeks for “the molecules to marry” after blending. That’s the only way to get an accurate read of what the perfume will be like in the bottle. All of this explains why it took Wishlow years to get her first product, a lavender, jasmine and patchouli-scented perfume called Despair is Folly, to market. A year and a half later, she’s finally ready to offer a full line of perfumes and aromatherapy oils, which range from woodsy Sombrio to spicy, floral Cleo. The line debuted on her website Dec. 5. “I decided to step back from the 10-, 15-, 20-ingredient blends and go back to what I originally did in 1998, which is just five, six oils that are meant to help with certain states of mind,” she explained. Those oils are responsible for the heady, intricate aromas of Wishlow’s perfumes. She’s clearly fascinated by them, talking about their scents and origins in an almost reverent tone. “I started ordering and ordering and ordering. I went through this process—which took probably years—of just discovering a whole new set of oils. Like ambrette seed, I’d never heard of that, that’s a vegetable musk. There were so many. So I went on this kind of journey learning all about these oils. I have this little notebook. I would order something
in, I would put a drop of it on a tester, smell it right out of the bottle and continue to smell it in 15-minute intervals throughout the dryout, which would be hours sometimes, and just kind of record my initial thoughts and keep taking notes,” she said. In the lab that day, Wishlow had more than 50 different oils on hand, and she explained how she chooses them in the same terms a vintner would use to talk about wine. Rather than using absolutes (aromatic oils extracted with solvents), which are common even among natural perfumers, Wishlow favors oils that have been cold pressed or steam distilled—the two processes that gave her perfumery its name. Before bottling, she mixes the oils with golden jojoba wax (a moisturizer) and vitamin E (a preservative). Speaking of names, Wishlow chooses them just as carefully as she does her ingredients. Each of her perfumes gets its moniker only after she spends hours researching plant and flower-related folklore. Cleo, which is rose-heavy and sultry, is named for Cleopatra, while the light, fruity Malmaison, Wishlow said smells like a garden, which gets its name from the estate of Josephine Bonaparte, who cultivated one of the first specimen gardens. Those chemical-free scents won’t last forever, though. So Wishlow offered a final word of advice on wearing natural perfumes: “What I say to people is, ‘Don’t hoard it.’ You know how some people will just put something away in their drawer and save it for a special occasion? Don’t do that. You need to use it up.” BOISE WEEKLY.COM
THE LIFE STORY OF THE LEGEND TOLD COMPLETELY IN HER OWN WORDS
COURTESY CB S FILMS
SCREEN
“EXCELLENT. REVITALIZES HISTORY THROUGH PRIMARY SOURCES, TO ILLUMINATING, AT TIMES ENTHRALLING EFFECT.” -Ben Kenigsberg, THE NEW YORK TIMES
MARIA by CALLAS A NEW FILM BY TOM VOLF
WWW.SONYCLASSICS.COM
VIEW THE TRAILER AT WWW.MARIABYCALLASFILM.COM
Willem Dafoe stars as Vincent van Gogh in At Eternity’s Gate.
STARTS FRIDAY DEC. 7 CINEMA CAFE MOVIE RENTALS
FOR ART’S SAKE
At Eternity’s Gate showcases the always-fine Willem Dafoe as Vincent van Gogh GEORGE PRENTICE directors have tried—think Robert Altman’s Before the opening titles of the equally Vincent and Theo or Akira Kurosawa’s Dreams mercurial and maddening At Eternity’s Gate, which features a near-perfect performance from (personally, I prefer 1956’s Lust for Life, starring an in-his-prime Kirk Douglas). Willem Dafoe, we hear the voice of Dafoe’s To be sure, this is another must-see perforVincent van Gogh pierce a pitch-black screen: “I just want to be one of them,” says van Gogh, mance from Dafoe, who, in my estimation, was robbed of the Oscar this past commiserating on his lifelong year for his supporting role in bout of loneliness and a desire The Florida Project. Even more to escape into the ordinary. AT ETERNITY’S GATE (PG-13) impressive is that Dafoe is Of course, there are two Directed by Julian Schnabel 63, nearly double van Gogh’s profound ironies at play here. Starring Willem Dafoe, Oscar age during the events of At No. 1: van Gogh was unlike Isaac and Mads Mikkelsen Eternity’s Gate. anyone else, and his madOpens Friday, Dec. 7, at The But a word of caution: At ness and inestimable genius Flicks, 646 W. Fulton St., 208Eternity’s Gate is at least 25 became more mysterious as 342-4288, theflicksboise.com minutes too long. There are the years passed. No. 2: van seemingly endless scenes with Gogh’s incomparable artistry is no dialogue whatsoever, and the antithesis of a pitch-black just as many unnecessarily long scenes crowded screen. His masterpieces explode with color. His sunflowers, his wheat fields, his irises, even with too many words. At Eternity’s Gate will most certainly be deconstructed by van Gogh his starry, starry nights are the very definition scholars for generations. For the rest of us, it’s of vibrancy. Director Julian Schnabel (Before Night Falls, a bit herky-jerky with the exception of Dafoe’s performance, which should definitely be part of The Diving Bell and the Butterfly) attempts to harness the ferocity of van Gogh as many other the Oscar conversation. BOISE WEEKLY.COM
BOISEWEEKLY | DECEMBER 5–11, 2018 | 11
BEER GUZZLER
FOOD
COFFEE BREWS Beer for breakfast? It may seem a bit odd today, but in colonial America it was quite common to have beer or cider with the morning meal. This week’s lineup has another element to recommend it for breakfast: All three contain coffee. However, since they all weigh in around 8 percent alcohol, they may not be the best choice for the start of your day.
—David Kirkpatrick 12 | DECEMBER 5–11, 2018 | BOISEWEEKLY
L E X N E L SON
ROGUE COLD BREWED IPA, $1.99—$2.39 The odd man out, a three-finger head tops this dark amber ale. It opens with heady, pinelaced hop aromas and a nice hit of fresh-roasted coffee beans. This is well balanced, showing more restraint than most IPAs. You get alternating layers of malt, coffee, citrusy hops, light chocolate, herbs and earth. Not for hop heads, but if stout is not your thing, definitely give this one a try.
LE X NEL SON COURTESY FIRENZ A
FOUNDERS BREWING BREAKFAST STOUT, $2.59—$2.99 This double-chocolate, coffee and oatmeal stout pours a dense ebony with a dark tan head. The nose is a lightly sweet, cream-laced cappuccino. It’s silky smooth on the palate with dark chocolate and coffee that’s a bit boozy and sweet, but with a nice touch of balancing bitterness on the finish. This is highly rated for good reason.
Another wave of pizzarias hits Boise
COURTESY AMERICANA PIZ Z A
BOISE BREWING BIKE ROUTE STOUT, IMPERIAL COFFEE STOUT, $2.29—$2.69 A collaborative effort between Boise Brewing and Co-op Beer Guru Derek Bolton, this keeps things local by using Dawson Taylor’s Dream Ride coffee blend. Light barely penetrates this dark brew topped with an impressive mocha froth. The nose is subtle but lovely, mixing chocolate nibs with dark-roast coffee. Lightly bitter cocoa backs the sweet malt and rich espresso flavors. Score one for the home team.
BRINGING IN THE DOUGH
Say hello to three new Boise pizza shops: Americana Pizza (left), Firenza Pizza (center) and Spitfire Pizza & Pints (right).
The number of pizza joints in Boise is on the rise, and according to franchise owner Duane Paris, whose new spot, Firenza Pizza, will open in the City of Trees on Tuesday, Dec. 11, the reason why might be simpler than you think. “I started looking at, where do you see a lot of happy people? And not too often do I see people leaving a pizza restaurant not happy,” said Paris. “And it’s a fairly recession-proof industry. If you look at statistics, 80 percent of people eat pizza once a month.” Firenza, the first Idaho outpost of a Virginiabased chain, is one of three new Boise pizza spots—the others being Spitfire Craft Pizza & Pints, which is already doing business on the Boise Bench, and Americana Pizza, slated to open this month near Rhodes Skate Park. Firenza scored a spot on the first floor of the CenturyLink building downtown above what used to be Angell’s Bar and Grill Renato. It’s based on a fastcasual, build-your-own concept similar to chains like Blaze Pizza and MOD Pizza, but Paris said its high-quality ingredients set Firenza apart. “Our dough and ingredients are made fresh in house, and our dough isn’t pressed in a tortilla press, it’s actually hand-stretched in front of the customer,” he explained. For now, Firenza won’t do delivery, but Paris said he’s open to the idea of “pizza runners” ferrying pies to nearby businesses, including Ampersand and Art Haus, two bars slated to open in the old Angell’s space. Spitfire Craft Pizza & Pints, a one-off pizzeria at 2450 S. Vista Ave., doesn’t deliver either—but it has something else up its sleeve to get customers excited: Detroit-style pizza, a novel concept for
the City of Trees. If you’re a fan of Chicago-style deep-dish, Detroit style may be the best kind of pizza you’ve never heard of. Made in rectangular cast iron pans, the Michigan pies were first baked in 1946 when, legend has it, creator Gus Guerra sourced vessels from a nearby auto parts factory and filled them with dough. At Spitfire, co-owner and Idaho native Rich Nichols has his Detroit-style pizzas down to a science. Apart from being thick-crusted and rectangular, the pizzas have a few other quirks: The sauce is ladled on last, and some toppings, like thin-sliced pepperoni, are baked under the cheese. And there’s another bit of magic, which Nichols called “the grilled cheese effect”—a crisp, flavorpacked lacing of cheese along the pizza’s edges, accomplished by lining each pan with aged cheddar before baking. After taste-testing the Detroit Supreme (which comes with sausage, mushrooms, olives and smoked pepperoni under the cheese), it was clear that the grilled cheese effect is what makes these pies a must. They’re easily two-thirds crust, though, so be prepared for leftovers. Spitfire also offers traditional hand-tossed pizzas, and though its doors have been open to customers for weeks, its official grand opening will run from Monday-Saturday, Dec. 10-15. Rounding out the trio is Americana Pizza, the brainchild of entrepreneurial skater trio Max Lillie, Brennan Conroy and Lucas Erlebach that’s slated to open in the old Reel Foods building at 304 S. Americana Blvd. before the new year. The venture will join Conroy’s marketing skills with Lillie and Erlebach’s food industry experience (they own Garden City’s Gem Street Kitchen and Push & Pour, respectively), and may breathe new
life into a neighborhood still in transition. “That area of town is strange, but it’s changing really fast,” said Conroy, “...That part of Boise, a year from now who knows what’s going to happen over there.” Conroy and Lillie were also attracted to the building itself, which is over a century old and packed with quirks that will make it a unique spot to craft and serve pizza. “We chose that building specifically because they have an artesian well inside the building. In the early 1900s they dug a 600-foot well in there, so we aren’t really hooked up to city water. All of our water will be privatized, so our dough will be proprietary for the area,” Lillie said. The pies will be massive and high quality, featuring artisan dough made with King Arthur flour, whole-milk mozzarella, aged Parmesan, San Marzano tomatoes imported from Italy and pepperoni flown in from the East Coast. They’ll also have a cornmeal crust, which Lillie said is a first for the state. Conroy added that having plenty of specialty vegan options will also be “a high priority.” While Americana will sell jumbo $3 slices on paper plates to walk-in skaters from the nearby Rhodes Skate Park, its owners don’t expect that to be the business’ cornerstone. “Delivery and takeout will be a major part of our business,” Conroy said. “The skaters are just the icing on the cake.” And if Conroy, Erlebach and Lillie get their way, the pizza train won’t stop rolling any time soon—they’re already talking about opening a second pizza joint in Garden City’s Surel Mitchell Live-Work-Create District within the next three years. BOISE WEEKLY.COM
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BOISEWEEKLY | DECEMBER 5–11, 2018 | 13
MUSIC GUIDE WEDNESDAY DEC. 5
KEN HARRIS AND RICO WEISMAN—6:30 p.m. FREE. White Dog Brewing
BUDDY DEVORE AND THE FADED COWBOYS—9 p.m. FREE. Pengilly’s Saloon
WOH: DJ ABILITIES AND DUBLDRAGON—With Axiom Tha Wyze, Andy O., and Auzomatik. 10 p.m. $5. Reef
DON MCCRAY AND THE BOX MAN—7 p.m. FREE. WilliB’s Saloon
FRIDAY DEC. 7
FALL CREEK—6 p.m. FREE. Highlands Hollow Brewhouse J.W. TELLER—7 p.m. FREE. High Note Cafe KEN HARRIS AND CARMEL CROCK—6 p.m. FREE. Sofia’s Greek Bistro THE ORIGINAL ROCKETEERS: ‘50S SOCK HOP— Dance lesson with Dave Hopkins at 6:30 p.m., followed by live music and open social dancing at 7:30 p.m. 6:30 p.m. $12. Riverside Hotel Sapphire Room STEVE EATON—5 p.m. FREE. Riverside Hotel Bar 365 WESTERN WEDNESDAYS: TYLOR AND THE TRAIN ROBBERS—9 p.m. FREE. Tom Grainey’s
MEGAN NELSON—6 p.m. FREE. High Note Cafe
18 STRINGS—7 p.m. FREE. Quinn’s Restaurant and Lounge 5TH ANNUAL TOYS FOR TOTS BENEFIT CONCERT: GERRY AND THE DREAMBENDERS—With emcee Pat Mac. Admission is free with any new and unopened toy or cash donation to Toys for Tots. 7:30 p.m. Riverside Hotel Sapphire Room ASPHALT BUFFET—7:30 p.m. FREE. WilliB’s Saloon BILL COFFEY AND NEW TRANSIT—9 p.m. FREE. Pengilly’s Saloon BROKEN OUTLAWS—8 p.m. FREE. Ha’ Penny
THURSDAY DEC. 6
COLUMBIA JONES—10 p.m. $5. Reef
BLAZE AND KELLY—5 p.m. FREE. Riverside Hotel Bar 365
DUSTIN ISAAC AND RYAN NEAL—8 p.m. FREE. Dwellers Public House
CONNER YOUNGBLOOD—With Madisun Proof. 7:30 p.m. $10-$12. Neurolux
JMSN AND AUGUST 08—7:30 p.m. $15-$17. Neurolux
CUNNINGHAM AND MOSS—5 p.m. FREE. Riverside Hotel Bar 365
FRIM FRAM FOUR—9 p.m. FREE. Pengilly’s Saloon
NGHTMRE—With Midnight Tyrannosaurus, Ducky, and Swage. 8 p.m. $20-$55. Revolution
GOLDBERG AND BARR—7 p.m. FREE. Dwellers Public House
WHITAKER AND OLIVER—7 p.m. FREE. High Note Cafe
IDA HO HO LIVE AT THE RX—Featuring artists on the 2018 Ida Ho Ho album as a preview of the benefit concert set for Dec. 8 at Visual Arts Collective. 6 p.m. FREE. The Record Exchange
SATURDAY DEC. 8
INDIGO KIDD—With The Seatopians, and Lucid Aisle. 9 p.m. FREE. High Note Cafe
ARSONISTS GET ALL THE GIRLS—With Forsythia, FOF, and Natural Evil. 6:30 p.m. $10. The Shredder
V E N U E S
Don’t know a venue? Visit boiseweekly.com for addresses, phone numbers and a map.
LISTEN HERE
Singer-songwriter Conner Youngblood’s debut album, Cheyenne (Counter Records, 2018), plays like something half-forgotten. Though each of the world traveler’s songs are meant to evoke a specific place—Los Angeles, Stockholm, Yellowknife in Canada—they feel more like soundtracks to the listener’s best and worst memories, ethereal and evocative echoes. The bounding soundscape of “The Birds of Finland,” for example, is a good memory, while the subtly shifting threads of “Cheyenne” form a bad one, an impression reinforced by the song’s discomforting video. In it, Youngblood leans against a bright yellow car mired in fog, humming along to the music with a faint smile even as silent gunshots bloody his chest. The juxtaposition is both unsettling and somehow beautiful. In addition to contributing sparse, breathy vocals, Youngblood is a multi-instrumentalist, and rounds out his debut with harp, cuatro and flute melodies. Catch his solo show at Neurolux on Thursday, Dec. 6, to step into a different headspace. —Lex Nelson 8:30 p.m., $12. Neurolux, 111 N. 11th St., 208-343-0886, neurolux.com. 14 | DECEMBER 5–11, 2018 | BOISEWEEKLY
BOISE WEEKLY.COM
TRE VOR PAULHUS
CONNER YOUNGBLOOD, NEUROLUX, DEC. 6
MUSIC GUIDE BOISE ROCK SCHOOL END OF FALL SESSION GIG—10 a.m.-9 p.m. $5 suggested donation. Jack’s Urban Meeting Place
CATHEDRAL CONCERT SERIES: CHRISTMAS AT THE CATHEDRAL—2 and 7 p.m. By donation. Cathedral of the Rockies
BROKEN OUTLAWS—8 p.m. FREE. Ha’ Penny
JERRY JOSEPH AND THE JACKMORMONS—With Like A Rocket. 7:30 p.m. $10-$12. Neurolux
CATHEDRAL CONCERT SERIES: CHRISTMAS AT THE CATHEDRAL—4:30 p.m. By donation. Cathedral of the Rockies DUSTIN MORRIS—7 p.m. FREE. High Note Cafe FAR OUT WEST—9 p.m. FREE. Pengilly’s Saloon FRONTLINER—8 p.m. FREE. WilliB’s Saloon FUSE—9 p.m. $5. 9th St. Parallel at KFCH IDA HO HO BENEFIT CONCERT—Featuring artists on the 2018 Ida Ho Ho album. 7 p.m. $15-$20. VAC IDAHO CONTEMPORARY INSTRUMENTAL CONCERT SERIES—Featuring Esteban Anastasio and Joey Curtin. 7 p.m. $15. Welch Music Center JERRY JOSEPH AND THE JACKMORMONS—With Like A Rocket. 7:30 p.m. $10-$12. Neurolux
MONDAY DEC. 10 BOISE CHORISTERS: A SILENT NIGHT HOLIDAY CONCERT—7 p.m. By donation. Cathedral of the Rockies THE BUDDY DEVORE BAND—8 p.m. $5. Liquid Lounge JAZZ MONDAYS: MIKE ROSENTHAL AND MIKE SEIFRIT—5 p.m. FREE. Riverside Hotel Bar 365 THIN LIPS—With Sportscourt, Buttstuff, and poetry by Emily Ruth Herbster. For all ages. 7 p.m. $5. BUMP Magazine HQ
RED FANG—With Telekinetic Yeti, and Ghostbox. 7 p.m. $18. The Olympic
TUESDAY DEC. 11
SHERPA—8 p.m. FREE. O’Michael’s Pub & Grill
BRETT REID—5 p.m. FREE. Riverside Hotel Bar 365
SOULMATES—8 p.m. FREE. Quinn’s Restaurant and Lounge
SAWTOOTH SERENADERS—6:30 p.m. FREE. Barbarian Brewing Downtown Boise Taproom
UPTOWN CHIEFS EP RELEASE—8 p.m. FREE. Dwellers Public House
THE SUBURBANS—9 p.m. FREE. Pengilly’s Saloon
PILOT ERROR—10 p.m. $7. Reef
WEST ABBEY ROAD: A BEATLES CHRISTMAS—7:30 p.m. $15-$25. Riverside Hotel Sapphire Room WILSON ROBERTS—5 p.m. FREE. Riverside Hotel Bar 365
SUNDAY DEC. 9 ALLEN STONE—With Nick Waterhouse. 7 p.m. $15$45. Egyptian Theatre THE BLACK LILLIES—With Samantha Crain. 7 p.m. $15. The Olympic THE BLUES DIRECTORS—9 a.m.-12:15 p.m. FREE. Riverside Hotel Sapphire Room
LISTEN HERE
WEDNESDAY DEC. 12 BLAZE AND KELLY—6 p.m. FREE. Highlands Hollow Brewhouse BUDDY DEVORE AND THE FADED COWBOYS—9 p.m. FREE. Pengilly’s Saloon THE DEVON ALLMAN PROJECT—With special guest Duane Betts. 8 p.m. $30. The Olympic JORDAN LEISURE—7 p.m. FREE. WilliB’s Saloon STEVE EATON—5 p.m. FREE. Riverside Hotel Bar 365 TYLOR AND THE TRAIN ROBBERS—9 p.m. FREE. Tom Grainey’s
JAM ES RE XROAD
RED FANG, THE OLYMPIC, DEC. 8
The animated music video for RED FANG’s metal track “Not For You” offers up an unorthodox club scene—one where a RED FANGloving Yeti and his gyrating blonde girlfriend storm the dance floor. The ensuing mayhem lands one unlucky DJ on an alien spaceship. But the funniest part of the 2017 video isn’t the hamfisted comedy but the choice of monster, considering the band will hit Boise on Saturday, Dec. 8, alongside Iowa duo Telekinetic Yeti. RED FANG, which has gone through multiple rock evolutions since its inception in 2005, seems to pride itself on delivering the unexpected, but it should be safe to predict that on Saturday fans will be met with tracks from its fourth and latest album, Only Ghosts (Relapse Records, 2016), and a playthrough of its new single, a catchy cover of Tubeway Army’s “Listen to the Sirens.” Just cross your fingers that no abominable snowmen burst through the doors and start launching people into orbit. —Lex Nelson With Telekinetic Yeti, and Ghostbox. 8 p.m., $18-$20. The Olympic, 1009 W. Main St., 208-342-0176, theolympicboise.com. BOISE WEEKLY.COM
BOISEWEEKLY | DECEMBER 5–11, 2018 | 15
CALENDAR WEDNESDAY DEC. 5 Festivals & Events HANUKKAH/HOLIDAY LIGHTS TROLLEY TOURS— This year, enjoy tours of Hanukkah lights, featuring contemporary Hanukkah music by the Maccabeats Dec. 3-6. Christmas tours with vintage Christmas music will start on Dec. 10. 7 p.m. $5-$18. Evergreen Business Mall-Library Plaza, corner of Cole and Ustick, Boise, 208-433-0849, boisetrolleytours.com.
E VENT S
visit our boiseweekly.com for a more complete list of calendar events.
Art ART SOURCE GALLERY HOLIDAY MARKET—Enjoy affordable, unique gifts and cards by Idaho artists. Through Dec. 29. Noon-4 p.m. 10 a.m.-6 p.m. FREE. Art Source Gallery, 1015 W. Main St., Boise, 208-331-3374, artsourcegallery.com. TREASURE VALLEY ARTISTS’ ALLIANCE: FACTS, FICTIONS AND LIES—Join TVAA for an exhibition of story told through visual art and writing by 21 local and regional artists in collaboration with Christian Winn, Idaho’s Writerin-Residence. Through Jan. 6, 2019, 9 a.m.-9 p.m. FREE. Boise State Student Union Gallery, 1910 University Drive, Boise, 208-426-1242.
On Stage
DEN OF SIN: THE NAUGHY LIST—Join Den of Sin for its holiday installment of burlesque and drag. Photos on Bad Santa’s lap are available between 7-8 p.m. for just $5. 8 p.m. $11. The Balcony Club, 150 N. Eighth St., Boise.
THURSDAY DEC. 6 Festivals & Events
Literature
BUY IDAHO HOLIDAY MARKET—More than 40 vendors will sell Idaho jewelry, specialty foods, body products, decor, clothing and more. Local beer and wine will be available for purchase. Plus, meet Santa from 5-7 p.m. and listen to the Greg B. Trio. 4-9 p.m. FREE. The Linen Building, 1402 W. Grove St., Boise, 208-343-2582, buyidaho.org.
BRIDGET BREWER: RELIC, AN ILLUMINATEDMANUSCRIPT-PERFORMANCE NOVEL—Join Surel’s Place Artist-in-Residence Bridget Brewer for a reading from Relic, which explores traumatic memory, queer theater and the history of Catholic relic worship. 6:30 p.m. FREE. Surel’s Place, 212 E. 33rd St., Garden City, 208-991-4718, surelsplace.org.
On Stage
BCT: WITH LOVE AND A MAJOR ORGAN—A man with a paper heart must navigate his mother, who wanted to spare him the pain of a real one, and a woman on the subway with so much love to give. Through Dec. 22. 7 p.m. $18-$38. Boise Contemporary Theater, 854 Fulton St., Boise, 208-331-9224, bctheater.org/readings/5x5. MURDER MYSTERY: HO HO HOMICIDE—Enjoy a night of North Pole naughtiness and murder. Dinner available with show. Through Dec. 19. 8 p.m. $6-$103. The Playhouse Boise, 8001 W. Fairview Ave., Boise, 208-779-0092, playhouseboise.com.
THURSDAY, DEC. 6
Talks & Lectures FETTUCCINE FORUM: PROGRESSIVE WOMEN, SUFFRAGE ACTIVISTS AND THEIR LEGACY—Join Professor Veta Schlimgen of Gonzaga University to examine what prompted turn-of-the-20th century women’s activism, which reshaped the social and political landscape of the United States. 5:30-7 p.m. FREE. Boise City Hall, 150 N. Capitol Blvd., Boise, 208-384-4422.
SATURDAY, DEC. 8
Talks & Lectures
BLT: MISS BENNET, CHRISTMAS AT PEMBERLEY—In a sequel to Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice set two years after the novel ends, Miss Bennet continues the story with bookish middle-sister Mary as its unlikely heroine. Through Dec. 15. 7:30 p.m. $12-$17. Boise Little Theater, 100 E. Fort St., Boise, 208-342-5104, boiselittletheater.org.
U.S. URBAN WAR: A HISTORY OF DEVASTATION WITH ANTI-WAR VETERAN MIKE PRYSNER—The military is planning on turning swaths of Idaho into a training zone for urban war. But what is urban war, and why is the U.S. military training for it? Join the Party for Socialism and Liberation for a forum featuring Mike Prysner to find out. 6-8 p.m. FREE. Boise Public Library, 715 S. Capitol Blvd., Boise, 208-972-8200, facebook.com/pslweb.
COMEDIAN JOHN CAPARULO—8 p.m. $25. Liquid Lounge, 405 S. Eighth St., Boise, 208-941-2459, liquidboise.com.
SATURDAY, DEC. 8
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SEVENTH-ANNUAL BUY IDAHO HOLIDAY MARKET
ORIGINAL MEXICAN CHOCOLATE AND COFFEE FAIR
KRAMPUS CON BIZARRE BAZAAR 2018
OLD BOISE MODEL RAILROAD HOLIDAY OPEN HOUSE
There’s no doubt that there are perks to shopping local and small, for both the buyer and the seller. Sellers get income that goes straight into their pockets (and then into the Idaho economy), and hope for their future prospects, while buyers score unique items that didn’t have to travel far, helping out both the planet and their neighbors. At the Seventh-Annual Buy Idaho Holiday Market, those perks will be so plentiful they’ll practically take up a booth of their own in the Linen Building, where more than 35 local vendors will set up shop and offer their wares to shoppers eager to fill their carts with gifts. Even better, Santa will be there to greet the kids and adults can warm up with beer and wine—a bonus you’d be hard-pressed to find in a department store. 4-9 p.m., FREE. The Linen Building, 1402 W. Grove St., Boise, 208-343-2582, buyidaho.org.
Modern-day Mexico City sits on what was once the site of Tenochtitlan, the capital of the Aztec Empire. The Aztecs are known for being the first civilization to drink chocolate—a cultural fact that is a point of Mexican pride to this day—and on Dec. 8, Boise’s Consulate of Mexico and Hispanic Chamber of Commerce will celebrate chocolate and another equatorial staple, coffee, at their annual Mexican Chocolate and Coffee Fair. This year’s festivities will spotlight producers from five different regions; offer classes on the history of the two beloved beans, as well as children’s activities and sweet-making workshops; and provide live music, vendors and more for sweet-toothed guests. There will be plenty of chocolate and coffee to go around, too. 11 a.m.-6 p.m., FREE. Washington Group Plaza, 720 Park Blvd., Boise, 208-343-6228, consulmex.sre.gob.mx/boise/index.php.
Everyone knows the story of Santa Claus dispensing gifts to the good children on his list, but in provinces of the former Holy Roman Empire, he has a dark companion: Krampus. This horned, cloven-hooved figure, who dates back to pagan Europe, travels alongside Santa, dispensing justice to wicked children with his birch switches. Though the Krampus tradition is thousands of years old, he has long struggled to escape the shadow of Santa—that is, until the Kramps Con Bizarre Bazarre 2018 at ABU Games. On Saturday, Dec. 8, swing by the popular game shop for allday gaming, a costume contest, guest speakers, vendors and more. The event is free to attend, but for $10, Krampus’ mightiest fans can get early admission, a Krampus Krate filled with prizes and more—just email krampusconidaho@gmail.com. 10 a.m.-8 p.m. FREE-$10. ABU Games, 7211 Colonial St., Boise, 208-376-6019, facebook. com/krampusconidaho.
Young or old, if you’ve experienced the magic of a model train once—particularly circling a lit tree at Christmas time—there’s a good chance you’re hooked for life. And if that’s the case, the Old Boise N-Scale Model Railroad Club’s extensive display in the basement of the Pioneer Building will be heaven on earth this holiday season. The club is offering tours of its setup, which includes multiple switch yards, hundreds of rail cars, miniature landscapes and more than 1,000 feet of track, free of charge every Saturday through Dec. 29. Families are welcome, and donations are appreciated. Chug on in for a good time. 10 a.m.-4 p.m. FREE, donations accepted. The Pioneer Building, 106 N. Sixth St., Boise, oldboise.com/merchant/old-boise-n-scalemodel-railroad.
16 | DECEMBER 5–11, 2018 | BOISEWEEKLY
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FRIDAY DEC. 7
ent prints of his mosaic light paintings. Plus photography by Susan Valliquette and metal arts and jewelry by Kay Seurat. 5:30-8:30 p.m. FREE. Urban Gallery, 215 E. 34th St., Garden City, 208-860-2423, blakesherlock.com.
Festivals & Events
YULE INVITATIONAL GROUP ART SHOW—This multicultural holiday show is not to be missed. Saturdays through December. 5:30 p.m.-2 a.m. FREE. Visual Arts Collective, 3638 Osage St., Garden City, 208-424-8297, visualartscollective.com.
RADIO BOISE PRACTICE NEW YEAR’S EVE PARTY— Enjoy live music by the Radio Underground and Boise Rockeoke and karaoke with a live band. Radio Boise DJ Izze Azalea Rumppshaker will spin tunes beginning at 7 p.m. and in between bands. For all ages; beer and wine will be available. 7 p.m.-1 a.m. $15-$18. The Linen Building, 1402 W. Grove St., Boise, 208-385-0111. SUREL MITCHELL LIVE WORK CREATE DISTRICT FIRST FRIDAY—Mingle with all the creative types living and working in The Surel Mitchell Live Work Create District in Garden City at more than 20 venues. A free shuttle will run from 6-9 p.m. in a continuous circuit to every spot. 5:30-8:30 p.m. FREE. Surel Mitchell Live-Work-Create District, 31st-37th Streets, Garden City, 917-495-5840.
On Stage BOISE STATE ANNUAL FAMILY HOLIDAY CONCERT—7:30 p.m. FREE-$10. Morrison Center for the Performing Arts, 2201 Cesar Chavez Lane, Boise, 208-426-1110, morrisoncenter.com. COMEDIAN JOHN CAPARULO—8 and 10 p.m. $25. Liquid Lounge, 405 S. Eighth St., Boise, 208-941-2459, liquidboise.com. LIPSINC: CHRISTMAS CAROLS—Joining the divine Victoria, Christina Champagne, Roxy V and Martini will be the mistletoe-laden Percilla Moore, the eggnog-marinated Cyraphina Thunderpussy, and Hazel. 8 p.m. $20. The Balcony Club, 150 N. Eighth St., Boise, 208-336-1313, thebalconyclub.com.
Art BLAKE SHERLOCK: MOSAIC LIGHT PAINTING PRINTS—Blake Sherlock presents new, transpar-
THE MEPHAM GROUP
SATURDAY DEC. 8 Festivals & Events BOISE CLEAN ENERGY PLAN OPEN HOUSE—To reduce energy consumption and convert to clean energy, the City of Boise is testing the waters of public opinion through open houses designed to make those issues personal for every citizen. 10 a.m.-noon. FREE. Boise City Hall, 150 N. Capitol Blvd., Boise, 208-384-4422, livboise.org. KRAMPUS CON: BIZARRE BAZAAR 2018—Enjoy games all day, plus a costume contest, guest speakers, the Bizarre Bazaar and more. Regular admission is free, but for $10, a few folks will get early admission to the event and an exclusive Krampus Krate filled with prizes, goodies, coupons and more ($30 value). To take advantage, email krampusconidaho@gmail.com. 10 a.m.-8 p.m. FREE. ABU Games, 7211 Colonial St., Boise, 208376-6019, facebook.com/krampusconidaho. OLD BOISE MODEL RAILROAD HOLIDAY OPEN HOUSE—Saturdays through Dec. 29. 10 a.m.-4 p.m. FREE. The Pioneer Building, 106 N. Sixth St., Boise, facebook.com/oldboiserailroad. ORIGINAL MEXICAN CHOCOLATE AND COFFEE FAIR—Learn about the meaning, history and importance of coffee and chocolate in Mexico and around the world; attend workshops on making handmade chocolate; purchase jewelry, jellies, fudge, truffles, Mexican crafts, tamales, sweet bread, and a lot
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Complete the grid so each row, column and 3-by-3 box (in bold borders) contains every digit 1 to 9. For strategies on how to solve Sudoku, visit www.sudoku.org.uk. Go to www.boiseweekly. com and look under odds and ends for the answers to this week’s puzzle. And don’t think of it as cheating. Think of it more as simply double-checking your answers. LAST WEEK’S ANSWERS
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Monique Marvez will perform at The Balcony on Sunday, Dec. 9.
NO ONE HECKLES AT COMEDIAN MONIQUE MARVEZ’S CAMPFIRE She’s an author, comedian, podcaster, radio host and lover of pound pups. She’s Monique Marvez, and to top off her resume she wrote for Disneytoon Studios in her home town of Los Angeles, which Disney shut down in June of 2018. She never got a chance to inject bawdy humor into the studio’s spinoffs of children’s classics, but when Boise Weekly pressed the issue she offered a few lines for alt-Tinkerbell: “Wow, this dress is really tight. Everybody thinks I just fly around being cute, but the reality is, this costume is tight, and every once in a while, when nobody’s looking, I pick it out of my butt crack.” For the record, Marvez is a pro. For the better part of 30 years, she has performed comedy—often in alternative venues—all over the U.S., but on Sunday, Dec. 9, she’ll be in Boise for the first time to perform at The Balcony Club. Marvez got her start performing at gay bars, historically African-American venues, corporate shows and other spots where people “may have wandered in not knowing there’s a comedy show,” and coming up that way taught her to bring her A-game as a comedian. It was a school of hard knocks, but it has landed her numerous specials, including The Latin Divas of Comedy, Snoop Dogg Presents the Bad Girls of Comedy and, most recently, Not Skinny Not Blonde, which she’s currently adapting into a book. Her blend of talents and busy schedule have twisted her life into some odd shapes. “I have no personal life; I’m the world’s oldest Millennial,” she said. “I’ve never owned a house in my life, I have a dog and wonderful people who do nice things for me. … Once I’m outside my lane, I don’t do well. I’m a bad cook, a so-so driver. I’m a fabulous girlfriend, I’m just a really bad wife.” With a comedic style that has been described as a combination of a Latina Bette Midler and a better-looking Dr. Phil, there’s a campfire quality to her act—one that draws ‘round the audience to warm their hands against her spitfire wit while keeping the hecklers at bay. “I had a heckler at a show on New Year’s Eve in ‘97 in Cincinnati, and a really large, heavy-set man in a cowboy hat said, ‘You want I should beat the s*** out of him, Monique?’ We’re having fun around the campfire, and nobody wants to interrupt the campfire smack,” she said. Catch Marvez’s set at 7:30 p.m. Tickets are $22-$43. —Harrison Berry
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of chocolates and coffee; enjoy children’s activities; a magic show and more. 11 a.m.-6 p.m. FREE. Washington Group Plaza, 720 Park Blvd., Boise.
On Stage BOISE PHIL: HOLIDAY POPS—Special guests include the Boise Philharmonic Master Chorale and other solo vocalists. Bring new, warm socks to donate for the needy. 7:30 p.m. $24-$72. The Morrison Center, 2201 Cesar Chavez Lane, Boise, 208-426-1609, morrisoncenter.com. COMEDIAN JOHN CAPARULO—8 and 10 p.m. $25. Liquid Lounge, 405 S. Eighth St., Boise, 208-941-2459, liquidboise.com. THE ROAST OF 2018—Join some of Boise’s funniest comics to roast the meat out of 2018. From political scandals to royal weddings, this year has had it all. Produced and headlined by Mikey Pullman, hosted by Lady Bizness, and featuring Eric Cole, Merry Cole, Jason Ward and Sherry Japhet. 8 p.m. $10-$15. Woodland Empire Ale Craft, 1114 W. Front St., Boise, 208-426-0510, eventbrite.com.
Kids & Teens ROBOT PETTING ZOO—Visit the robot petting zoo to experiment with Spheros, Ozobots, Snap Circuits, Dash and Dots, and more. For ages 5-17. 2:30 p.m. FREE. Ada Community Library Victory Branch, 10664 W. Victory Road, Boise, 208-362-0181, adalib.org/victory.
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possible confetti, and probably some weird performance art, all on a monthly theme. 8-10 p.m. $5. Liquid Lounge, 405 S. Eighth St., Boise, 208-9412459, facebook.com/CoolBirthdayComedy.
Food CITY CENTER WINE TASTING CLASS: A CELEBRATION OF TERROIR—Join certified sommelier Joseph DiGrigoli and guest sommelier Mark Runsvold of the KIN restaurant team to learn about four of the most exalted wine-making regions in the world. 6 p.m. $20. City Center Wines, 574 W. Main St., Boise, 208-972-3385, citycenterwines.com/buy-tickets.
WEDNESDAY DEC. 12 Kids & Teens ESCAPE ROOM—Solve puzzles and riddles to escape the locked room. For ages 8-11 on Dec. 12; for ages 12-18 on Dec. 13. Dec. 12, 4:30 p.m. FREE. Ada Community Library Lake Hazel Branch, 10489 Lake Hazel Road, Boise, 208-297-6700, adalib.org/lakehazel.
Animals & Pets DRINKING FOR SOME PAWS—Meet Scout the police dog and support our furry friends. Collect food for the Pet Food Pantry and enjoy special taps and raffle prizes with proceeds benefiting IDAPI. New toys, blankets and other comfort items can also be donated for the animals at the Humane Society. 6-9 p.m. By donation. Meriwether Cider House, 224 N. Ninth St., Boise, meriwethercider.com.
COMEDIAN JOHN CAPARULO—8 p.m. $25. Liquid Lounge, 405 S. Eighth St., Boise, 208-941-2459, liquidboise.com. COMEDIAN MONIQUE MARVEZ—7:30 p.m. $22-$42. The Balcony Club, 150 N. Eighth St., Boise, 208-336-1313, thebalconyclub.com.
MILD ABANDON By E.J. Pettinger
Food REPEAL DAY CELEBRATION WITH THE GARDEN CITY BOOTLEGGERS—Join the celebration of the repeal of Prohibition with 14 wineries, breweries and cideries. There will be food trucks, live music and free shuttles to get you from one stop to the next. Check Facebook for details. Noon-6 p.m., FREE. Garden City.
MONDAY DEC. 10 On Stage A DRAG QUEEN CHRISTMAS—Join host Miz Cracker for performances by Aja, Monet, Naomi, Latrice, Vanjie, Farrah and Raja. (Cast subject to change.) 8 p.m. $37-$152. Revolution Concert House and Event Center, 4983 Glenwood St., Garden City, 208-938-2933, dragfans.com.
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TUESDAY DEC. 11 On Stage COOL BIRTHDAY COMEDY PARTY—Enjoy stand up, sketch, characters, games, prizes, treats,
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NYT CROSSWORD | REPRESENT! BY PAUL COULTER / EDITED BY WILL SHORTZ ACROSS 1 Tennis judge’s cry 6 Locks in a barn? 10 Icon leading to checkout 14 Traveled in trunks? 18 Large green moths 19 Dateless, say 21 It’s frequently in Italian 22 Greek ally in the “Iliad” 23 13579 AZ 25 Hash houses 27 Country on the Red Sea 1
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Dad ____ After all deductions PP UU B B Big name in watches Creator of a draft All you can eat Masters Six-foot runner? Cut, as a log Scratch (out) Per spire Farrokh Bulsara ____ Freddie Mercury 101 ____ Caovilla, Italian shoe designer 102 Part of a buck 104 End of the British alphabet 107 Something studied in toponymy 112 Altar avowal 113 Creator of the detective Adam Dalgliesh 116 Fiery peppers 117 Yearn do 119 Currier’s partner 120 Something to take lying down 121 Grassy expanse 122 Certain reunion attendee 123 It’s better than never, they say 124 Spanish title: Abbr. 125 Pivot around an axis 126 Less crazy
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DOWN 1 White sheet 2 Broadway’s McDonald 3 Reversed 4 Kept on going 5 Evictor of the Jews in “Fiddler on the Roof” 6 Palindromic title 7 Pint-glass fill 8 “That’s all wrong!” 9 Off-road motorcycle race 10 Street fleet
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boiseclassicmovies.com 11 What a Mercator projection map notably distorts 12 ____ Bridge (Venice landmark) 13 Like some yoga 14 Explosion fragments 15 Small dam 16 Trojan ally in the “Iliad” 17 Moonshine maker’s need 20 Cornerstone abbr. 24 Puts in order 26 Political refugees 32 Announcement over a plane’s P.A. 35 Like cleats 37 Minute amount 38 Test for a college sr. 39 “Father ____” (bygone British sitcom) 40 Store event that people may stand in line for 41 Freshen 42 Give a major lift 43 Soul sister, say 44 ____ avis 45 Garden parties? 47 Telepathy term 51 Children’s author Blyton 52 Anklebone 53 Abbr. that rhymes with “bill,” appropriately 54 Woodworking tool 57 Catbird seat? 58 “At Seventeen” singer Janis ____ 59 He wore No. 6 for the Sixers 63 Like some clean energy 64 Ones place 67 Boiling blood 68 “Ask ____ …” 69 Flag 70 Satellite connection
71 Eldest Stark son on “Game of Thrones” 72 Manhattan Project creation 73 Baseball’s Garciaparra 77 Long haul 79 Durable yellow cotton cloth 80 Darlings 81 Grassy expanse 82 Boy king in Shakespeare’s “Richard III” 83 Atlanta-to-Miami dir. 85 Transmission part 86 Groceries holder 87 Genetic-info carrier 90 What all people are, per the Bible 92 Cardinal letters 95 “____, My God, to Thee” (hymn) L A S T A R A L
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96 Sings the blues 97 Funds 98 Discordant 100 Hank who voices Moe and Chief Wiggum 103 Lyric poem 105 German port in Lower Saxony 106 Two in the hand 107 Knight who co-founded Nike 108 What obsidian forms from 109 Partner of aid 110 Lion’s share 111 “Cómo ____ usted?” 114 Norwegian P.M. Stoltenberg 115 Sibyl 118“Despicable Me” supervillain
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ADULT PEN PALS Hello out there, my name is Cyris and I’m hoping to meet new friends. I’m searching for meaningful and long lasting friendship and who knows it might lead to more. I’ve been down for almost 12 lonely years and it sucks. I’m tired of being lonely, so that’s why I need a good and understanding friend. I’m 27 years old, birthday 12/20/90, born in Tallulah, Louisiana, a small place where everyone knows each other. I’m 5’10’’, 185 lbs, with a big heart and a bright smile. I love helping people and making them laugh. I’m a great listener, communicator, open minded, and outgoing. I’m also very outdoorsy, so whenever I get that chance to go outside I do. I like to take walks around the yard and just admire the little
things we take for granted. So if I am someone that interests you, please don’t be afraid to respond back. Thank you for taking time out your time in reading this friendship seeking letter. Take care and god Bless. Cyris Gilbert #1004449, W.S.C.C. P.O. Box 7007 Carson City, NV 89702. 35 year old Latina female, Hazel Green eyes, deep dimples, long eyelashes, 5’6’’, 150 lbs, long black hair, voluptuous lips. Looking for a penpal man or female between ages of 35 and up. c/o Adam’s County I.D.O.C. Maria Marin #92841, 201 Industrial Ave. Council, ID 83612. I’m 21 years old, hispanic female, dark brown eyes, 5’4’’, 145 lbs, kind of short brown hair, great personality. I am seeking a penpal man or female between ages of 22 and up. Isabel Lopez #127631 c/o Adams County, 201 Industrial Ave. Council, ID 83612.
I have had the same hairdresser airdresser for 10 years. She is amazing. She knows my hair, knows what I like and always does great work. Here’s the problem though—she was in a car accident with my cousin and is suing my cousin for a considerable amount of money. I feel like I have to find a new stylist or face my family and their disapproval. What should I do? —Sincerely, Damsel in Dis Tress
DEAR DAMSEL, This is a hairy situation! Does your family come before your follicles? Sure, your cousin shares blood with you, but your hairstylist has a beauty bond, which is often stronger! In an ideal world, there wouldn’t be car accidents (I’m still recovering from my own recent accident) or litigation to make things right. However, since there is, we’re called on to be adults about it. Neither party should ask you to take a side. People also deserve to be made whole when accidents happen. The court will sort all of that part out. All parties need to realize that no one wants to be or plans to be in accidents like this. It’s nobody’s business who you visit for your hair needs. You aren’t required to justify—to anyone—who you do business with. Your stylist doesn’t deserve to be cut off when she probably needs work more than ever during this trying time. I would flat out refuse to change hairstylists and let them tease out their problems on their own.
SUBMIT questions to Minerva’s Breakdown at bit.ly/MinervasBreakdown or mail them to Boise Weekly, 523 Broad St., Boise, ID 83702. All submissions remain anonymous. Illustration of Minerva by Adam Rosenlund.
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BOISEWEEKLY | DECEMBER 5–11, 2018 | 21
BOISE WEEKLY FOR THE FOLLOWING H O L I D AY I S S U E
P U B L I S HES DEC. 19 TOP STORIES OF 2018
P U B L I S HES DEC. 26 FICTION 101 ISSUE
P U B L I S HES JAN. 2 R E S E R V E BY DEC. 12 ALL ADS DUE DEC. 17
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FIND SMIRNOFF VODKA-FILLED ORNAMENTS AND PEPPERMINT TWIST VODKA
S M I RN O F F. C O M
EARLY DEADLINES
PAGE BREAK We love adding to our Christmas decorations and we adore a lovely toast to the holiday season. So, pardon our gush for these delightful Smirnoff No. 21 Holiday Ornaments. It’s not too much of a stretch to imagine handing this out to guests at your Christmas party before pointing them to the bar. There, they’ll be able to pour out their triple-distilled, non-GMO vodka into a cup of cheer and then keep their bottles/ornaments, which include fun little phrases like “Mix & Mingle,” “#BestGiftEver” and “Eat, Drink & Be Merry.” Making Christmas even merrier is the news that Smirnoff is back with its Peppermint Twist vodka this season. It can be found alongside the ornaments at smirinoff.com. —George Prentice No. 21 Holiday Ornament: $12.99. Smirnoff Peppermint Twist: $60
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22 | DECEMBER 5–11, 2018 | BOISEWEEKLY
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ASTROLOGY SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Robert Louis Stevenson published his gothic novel Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde in 1886. It was a bestseller, and quickly got turned into a theatrical production. In the ensuing 132 years, there have been well over a hundred further adaptations of the story into film and stage productions. Here’s the funny thing about this influential work: Stevenson wrote it fast. It took him three feverish days to get the gist of it, and just another six weeks to revise. Some biographers say he was high on drugs during the initial burst, perhaps cocaine. I suspect you could also produce some robust and interesting creation in the coming weeks, Sagittarius—and you won’t even need cocaine to fuel you. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): A blogger on Tumblr named Ffsshh composed a set of guidelines that I think will be apt and useful for you to draw on in the coming weeks. Please study these suggestions and adapt them for your healing process. “Draw stick figures. Sing off-key. Write bad poems. Sew ugly clothes. Run slowly. Flirt clumsily. Play video games on ‘easy.’ OK? You do not need to be good at something to enjoy it. Sometimes talent is overrated. Do things you like doing just because you like doing them. It’s OK to suck.” AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Aquarian athlete Michael Jordan is the greatest basketball player who ever lived. He was also the first to become a billionaire. But when he was growing up, he didn’t foresee the glory that awaited him. For example, in high school he took a home economics class so as to acquire cooking skills. Why? He imagined that as an adult he might have to prepare all of his own meals. His ears were so huge and ungainly, he reasoned, that no woman would want to be his wife. So the bad news was that he suffered from a delusion. The good news was that because of his delusion, he learned a useful skill. I foresee a similar progression for you, Aquarius. Something you did that was motivated by misguided or irrelevant ideas may yield positive results. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): The Bible does not say that Mary Magdalene was a prostitute or even a “sinner.” There’s no mention of her sexual proclivities at all. Delusional ideas about her arose in the Middle Ages, instigated by priests who confused her with other women in the Bible. The truth is that the Bible names her as a key ally to Christ, and the crucial witness to his resurrection. Fortunately, a number of scholars and church leaders have in recent years been working to correct her reputation. I invite you to be motivated and inspired by this transformation as you take steps to adjust and polish your own image during the coming weeks. It’s time to get your public and private selves into closer alignment. ARIES (March 21-April 19): When I write a horoscope for you, I focus on one or two questions because I don’t have room to cover every single aspect of your life. The theme I’ve chosen this time may seem a bit impractical, but if you take it to heart, I guarantee you it will have practical benefits. It comes from Italian author Umberto Eco. He wrote, “Perhaps the mission of those who love humanity is to make people laugh at the truth, to make truth laugh, because the only truth lies in learning to free ourselves from insane passion for the truth.” I swear to you, Aries, that if you laugh at the truth and make the truth laugh in the coming days, you will be guided to do all the right and necessary things. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): You have a cosmic mandate and a poetic license to stir up far more erotic fantasies than usual. It’ll be healthy for you to unleash many new thoughts about sexual experiments that would be fun to try and novel feelings you’d like to explore and people whose naked flesh you’d be interested to experience sliding and
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BY ROB BREZSNY
gliding against yours. But please note that the cosmic mandate and poetic license do not necessarily extend to you acting out your fantasies. The important thing is to let your imagination run wild. That will catalyze a psychic healing you didn’t even realize you needed. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): In my continuing efforts to help you want what you need and need what you want, I’ve collected four wise quotes that address your looming opportunities. 1. “What are you willing to give up, in order to become who you really need to be?” —Elizabeth Gilbert 2. “Leave the door open for the unknown, the door into the dark. That’s where the most important things come from.” —Rebecca Solnit 3. “You enter the extraordinary by way of the ordinary.” ―Frederick Buechner 4. “Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you.” ―Nathaniel Hawthorne CANCER (June 21-July 22): I’ve called on author Robert Heinlein to provide your horoscope. According to my astrological analysis, his insights are exactly what you need to focus on right now. “Do not confuse ‘duty’ with what other people expect of you,” he wrote. “They are utterly different. Duty is a debt you owe to yourself to fulfill obligations you have assumed voluntarily. Paying that debt can entail anything from years of patient work to instant willingness to die. Difficult it may be, but the reward is self-respect. But there is no reward at all for doing what other people expect of you, and to do so is not merely difficult, but impossible.” LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): What does “beauty” mean to you? What sights, sounds, images, qualities, thoughts and behaviors do you regard as beautiful? Whatever your answers might be to those questions right now, I suggest you expand and deepen your definitions in the coming weeks. You’re at a perfect pivot point to invite more gorgeous, lyrical grace into your life; to seek out more elegance, charm and artistry; to cultivate more alluring, delightful magic. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): You know the expiration dates that appear on the labels of the prescription drugs you buy? They don’t mean that the drugs lose their potency after that date. In fact, most drugs are still quite effective for at least another 10 years. Let’s use this fact as a metaphor for a certain resource or influence in your life that you fear is used up or defunct. I’m guessing it still has a lot to offer you, although you will have to shift your thinking in order to make its reserves fully available. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Libran rapper Eminem is renowned for his verbal skill. It may be best exemplified in his song “Rap God,” in which he delivers 1,560 words in six minutes and four seconds, or 4.28 words per second. In one stretch, he crams in 97 words in 15 seconds, achieving a pace of 6.5 words per second. I suspect that in the coming weeks, you will also be unusually adept at using words, although your forte will be potent profundity rather than sheer speed. I encourage you to prepare by making a list of the situations where your enhanced powers of persuasion will be most useful. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): In May of 1883, the newly built Brooklyn Bridge opened for traffic. Spanning the East River to link Manhattan and Brooklyn, it was the longest suspension bridge in the world. But almost immediately people spread rumors that it was unstable. There was a growing fear that it might even crumble and fall. That’s when charismatic showman P. T. Barnum stepped in. He arranged to march 21 elephants across the bridge. There was no collapse, and so the rumors quickly died. I regard the coming weeks as a time when you should take inspiration from Barnum. Provide proof that will dispel gossipy doubt. Drive away superstitious fear with dramatic gestures. Demonstrate how strong and viable your improvements really are.
BOISEWEEKLY | DECEMBER 5–11, 2018 | 23
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