Tuesday 15th March 2021
Outside the Box A newsletter helping the Box Hill School community stay together, stay informed and stay happy.
“Great Minds Don’t Think Alike”
Daily Wellbeing Tasks Challenge yourself to have no screen time for an hour. Ensure you get outside and engage with some type of exercise. Name one good thing that happened at school today. Be attentive to the present – breathe, eat, exercise mindfully
Return to School Last week it was wonderful to welcome so many students back to the school campus and see the physical return to school. For some students we are aware that due to Covid, the physical return to campus currently has not been possible but we look forward to welcoming them back after the Easter break. We continue to follow all government guidelines with regards to the return to school and have been successfully testing all pupils on site as well as following guidelines on face masks and bubbles. We hope, as we continue to navigate the roadmap out of British Covid restrictions, that life will continue to reflect more forms of normality as we move through the coming weeks. For many, returning to school has been exciting and it has been nice to see friends and teachers in person, for others we are fully aware that this will have caused certain levels of anxiety and different emotions. We are using this edition of Outside the Box to continue to provide resources to help those that may be feeling these differing emotions and to highlight key areas of support that are available outside of the school community. As we approach the one-year anniversary of lockdown and the Covid-19 Pandemic n the UK, this will also be on some young people’s minds and it is important that we engage in open conversations about how they are feeling. CAMHS have produced an interesting piece for parents to help with these conversations as well as providing food for thought with regards to how we come across as adults to young people.
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Wellbeing For many the return to school has been a positive experience, and while many (including adults) were and are beginning to feel a type of lockdown fatigue, it has been nice to return to the normality of school, albeit in bubbles and with masks. We are hoping as the weeks progress, and the number of Covid cases in the UK continues to drop, that we hope to see a return to sporting fixtures and some of the normal summer events that we celebrate here at Box Hill School. A number of charities have provided key advice and ideas for parents and carers to support their young people with the return to school. While we returned in the physical on Monday, this was not the case for all students and for many there will be anxieties when we return to school again after the Easter holidays. If you are a regular reader of Outside the Box you will know that we draw on a wealth of resources, particularly from those charities who focus on promoting positive mental health. The Mental Health Foundation continues to regularly update their articles with regards to how to support our young people as we navigate the Coronavirus pandemic. Recently they have released a number around the topic of return to school and the end of the lockdown, with guidance on how to reassure our young people and start these important conversations. The Mental Health Foundation: This section of our guide on returning to school after the coronavirus lockdown includes practical advice for parents and caregivers relevant for when children and young people go back to face-to-face learning.
Start talking Your child might have worries about the virus, restrictions in place or their education and school. It’s important to acknowledge that this is a difficult time. You can explore these and help them to think of ways to manage them using our Time for Us pack or the resources on the Family Links website. It’s important to give them the message that returning to school may be a big thing and you understand that. Talk to them in a way that is sensitive to their needs – you will know your child best. Don’t intrude or impose yourself on them, but gently open the conversation and let them know you’re there for them if they want to talk.
Sleep routine Sleep is very important for your child’s mental health and wellbeing, as well as their development. Try and help your child build a healthy sleep routine which they can maintain whether attending school in person or not. Our guide on improving sleep could be a good place to start.
Coping strategies Coping strategies are what you use when feeling stressed, such as speaking with friends or family, doing regular exercise, or using breathing techniques. If you feel comfortable, you could share your own worries and feelings about the current situation and coping strategies you are using to manage these feelings. Acknowledge that it’s normal to feel anxious about going back to school – try sharing an example of a time you’ve felt anxious about going into a new situation. Encourage them to focus on the present and avoid thinking too far ahead. Thinking too far ahead can feel overwhelming. Focus on what is in their control (hand washing, wearing masks, getting prepared for returning such as packing their bag) rather than what they can’t control (what might happen with the pandemic in several months time).
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Make yourself available as much as possible Children may want to come and “debrief” but maybe not when you expect. Create space for talking in different ways, such as going on a walk together or baking together – there may be less pressure in these circumstances than when sitting face-toface. Check in with them periodically. Don’t assume they’re ok because they seem it. Ask the young person how things are going. Ask them questions like: what have they enjoyed about being back? Any worries or challenges?
Look at the positives It might be helpful to talk with your child about the things they have enjoyed during the pandemic and what they may be looking forward to, like their favourite shop reopening, seeing friends in the park or getting ice cream from their favourite café.
There are several brilliant resources out there to help support young people who are feeling anxious around the physical return to school this year. There are a number of coping strategies that CAMHS have put together, one of which that was mentioned on the opening page and the next is below. FIND YOUR CALM is imperative in situations where anxieties are running high and please see the image below for suggestions how to do this.
4 Young Minds began a campaign last week to ensure that young people who were feeling nervous around the return to school did not feel that they were alone in these feelings. Through the Young Minds Website, again there are a wealth of links, resources and articles aimed at both young people and their parents or carers. We have included some of these below.
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After so long studying from home, it's totally natural to feel anxious about returning to school. However you're feeling is valid and you are not alone. Two of our bloggers share how they're feeling and what's helping in our blog on coping with anxiety about going back to school.
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If you're worried about catching Covid-19, remember that everyone is doing their best to prevent that from happening, and your school wouldn't be able to reopen if it wasn't safe.
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If you're feeling anxious about seeing people and socialising again, read our blogger Molly's tips for coping with social anxiety.
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Gigi, 25, has also shared how she's coping with social anxiety as lockdown eases.
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If you are experiencing bullying and are worried about it starting up again when you return, have a look at our bullying page for more information, tips and advice.
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If you are struggling with an eating problem and are worried about how going back to school will affect this, have a look at our eating problems page.
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Anxiety is really high for lots of people right now, even people who don’t usually struggle with anxiety. Read our blog: What to do if you're anxious about coronavirus.
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Check out our general advice on dealing with anxiety.
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If you’re struggling with thoughts and actions that you cannot control (obsessive thoughts or compulsive behaviours) take a look at our OCD advice.
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We also have a blog on coping with OCD during the coronavirus pandemic.
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You may find it helpful to practise some grounding techniques when you're feeling anxious or stressed.
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Our blogger Victoria, 21, has also shared some practical positive psychology techniques you can use.
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Read how seven of our Activists are managing in the third national lockdown.
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Eve, 20, explains why you're not "wasting time" in this pandemic, and why it's okay to take time out.
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Limit the time you spend checking the news and try to follow social media accounts that keep you positive and make you smile. Accounts like @the_happy_broadcast on Instagram only post good news stories.
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We have loads of tips on cleaning up your social media feed for a more positive time online - take a look at #OwnYourFeed.
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Follow the YoungMinds Instagram account! @youngmindsuk
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It's totally normal to feel worried about the rules and regulations changing. But if you find you're worrying so much it's hard to do other things, speak to a friend or trusted adult about how you're feeling.
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Remember that it's OK to take things at your own pace.
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If you're worried about seeing people or being around people again, have a look at blogger Molly's tips for coping with social anxiety.
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Blogger Gigi also shares how she's coping with social anxiety when seeing people again.
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Two bloggers share how they're coping with anxiety about going back to school.
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Visit our blog for real stories from young people getting through the coronavirus pandemic, self-care tips and finding help.
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Visit our find help section for more advice and information on looking after your mental health
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Grace, 14, shares some activities you can do that don't involve screens.
While all of these questions directly revolve around our young people there is a dedicated part of the website for parents and carers, giving advice, sharing helpful hints and tips, as well as the wealth of resources available to help those looking after children and young people in this pandemic. https://youngminds.org.uk/find-help/for-parents/supporting-your-child-during-thecoronavirus-pandemic/
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e-safety As mentioned in previous editions, CEOP work to protect children from harm online. CEOP have developed the ThinkUKnow website and have also collaborated with Parent Zone to create Parent Info ( https://parentinfo.org/ ) which has been designed to help and provide advice for families in a digtal world. As our young people naviagte this new online world, there are many postives and it can be an important place to make new friends. Parent Zone have written an article to provide parents with help and advice with regards to young people making friends online and this can be found below. Making friends with people they don’t know Chatting and meeting new people is a key feature of many sites, apps and games and some encourage users to gain as many ‘followers’ or ‘friends’ as possible. Some will have moderated and public chat functions, but others allow online friends to chat privately. Most of the time, children will be talking to people they know, but this function can create opportunities for adults to contact children online. Some adults may set up fake profiles and accounts and may lie about their age in order to gain their trust. This means it can be difficult for children to know if someone they are talking to online is who they say they are. Some people online can use this to manipulate or pressure children into doing something they don’t want to do. What can I do to help? •
Talk to your child about their online friends. Talk about the difference between online friendships and offline ones and with younger children. Let them know they should only talk to friends online that they know offline. Younger children should be supervised at all times when watching videos, playing games or chatting with their friends online.
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Remind them to avoid requests to chat in private. If they do talk to someone they don’t know offline, remind them only to speak on a public chat function. Once they move to private chat, it’s unlikely to be monitored by the site, app or game they are using. They may share personal information or feel pressured to do something that they don’t want to do.
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Encourage them to tell you if anything happens online that makes them feel worried, scared or uncomfortable. Make sure they know that you would never blame them for anything that might happen online and you will always give them nonjudgmental support. If they are worried about something that has happened when talking to someone online, you, or your child can also make a report to NCA CEOP. NCA CEOP is a law enforcement agency which works to keep children and young people safe from sexual abuse and grooming online. Sharing personal information Most sites, apps and games encourage users to share information about themselves. This may be personal information such as their name and age, information about their hobbies and interests or pictures and videos. Once they’ve put something online it can be copied, shared or edited, and it could turn up somewhere they wouldn't want it to be. If the site, app and game allow your child to live stream, this can present a greater risk for oversharing. Unlike pre-recorded videos that can be cut and edited, live streaming is live and uncensored. This means children can act on impulse and may share something they later regret.
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Use privacy settings and parental controls. Privacy settings and parental controls are available on many sites, apps and games to limit who can access a profile and what information they can see. Many people think when online profiles are created, they are set to ‘private’ by default, but this isn’t always the case. Changing the privacy settings and parental controls can help you and your child to manage how and what kind of information is shared. For more information read A parents' guide to privacy settings and Using parental controls.
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Talk about safe sharing. Discuss the type of things that are ok to share and things which you wouldn’t want them to share online. If they are sharing pictures or videos, remind them to check with you, or a grown-up they trust before posting anything. Talk to your child about consent and If they’re considering sharing a photo or video of somebody else, they should always ask permission first. Remind them that it’s OK to say ‘no’ if someone asks to share a picture or video – and if they do say no – it shouldn’t be shared. It’s also not OK if someone is pressuring them into sharing things online when they don’t want to. Read more about how to help your child to protect their personal information online.
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Look at the Thinkuknow resources together. Thinkuknow is the education programme from NCA-CEOP. For 4-7 year olds, the Jessie & friends animations cover topics such as sharing personal information, watching videos and more. For 8-10 year olds, Play Like Share helps children learn how to spot pressuring and manipulative behaviour online. Unkind or inappropriate behaviour Your child may feel more confident online as they feel protected by the screen. This may cause them or their peers to do or say something online to someone that they wouldn’t usually do, or say, face-to-face. This could lead to bullying, loss of confidence or self-esteem and could even get them in trouble at school. What can I do to help?
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Talk to them about being kind online. Discuss how they would deal with disagreements or what they would do if one of their friends was mean to them. Remind them they should treat their friends online as they would offline and vice versa. This includes respecting the wishes of others and never saying nasty things. You can use these scenarios as conversation starters to help talk about online kindness. Check out the sites, apps and games they are using. Sites like NSPCC's Net Aware break down some of the key features of popular sites, apps and games. It also includes comments and reviews from children and their parents on the type of behaviour they have seen when using them. This can help you decide the most appropriate apps for your child to use. Know how to report and get help if they need to. Make sure you and your child know how to block and report users who are being unkind or inappropriate online. You can find this information on the site or an app’s privacy settings. Remind your child that they can always speak to someone confidentially at www.childline.org.uk, or by calling 0800 1111 if something is worrying or upsetting them.
Useful Links www.internetmatters.org – A one-stop shop for all things “e-safety”, aimed at parents. Bookmark this website! www.childnet.com – Hugely useful and engaging website aimed more at young people themselves. www.ceop.police.uk – A Government-funded, Police website focused on illegal online behaviours such as cyber-bullying and grooming.
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Podcasts As with other publications of Outside the Box, we continue to turn to the Mental Health Foundation to provide our weekly podcast suggestion. Their website continues to provide a brilliant array of resources to help with this and they also produce some very good wellbeing podcasts. This week, while researching several different podcasts, we came across this fascinating podcast about internet gaming and how it affects our mental health. Many of our young people will be very engaged with internet gaming and following a recent study, a panel of researchers discuss the recent naming of Internet Gaming Disorder. They discuss internet gaming, the potential risks, but also the benefits that gaming can bring, both to life in general (children doing maths homework, for example) and to protecting and sustaining good mental health. https://soundcloud.com/mentalhealthfoundation/internet-gaming-good-or-bad-for-our-mental-health Please find the link to the Mental Health Foundation web page below as well. https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/
Further Self-help resources for parents Every Mind Matters - Advice for parents and carers on looking after your child's mental health and self-care videos for young people.
Young Minds - Useful tips and ideas for how to support your children with worries or mental health problems.
MindEd for families - Advice and information from specialists and parents to help you understand what problems occur and what you can do best to support your family.
Free online parenting guides - Online guides to help you understand your child's or teenager's emotional development to improve your relationship.
Family Learning - Online parenting courses for parents and carers who are struggling to support their children with school, homework or behaviour issues.
Qwell for parents of SEND Children - Online emotional wellbeing support for parents and carers of children and young people with special educational needs and disability (SEND) in Surrey.
SEND Advice Surrey - Impartial, confidential and free support to empower parent, carers, children and young people with Special Educational Needs and Disabilities (SEND) aged 0-25 years.
Surrey's Family Help Hub - A brand new services, helping you find useful information, advice and support for those times you need it.
Contacts Sue Salmon, Deputy Head Pastoral
Susan.Salmon@boxhillschool.com
Claire McCarthy, Assistant Head Pastoral
Claire.McCarthy@boxhillschool.com
9 As we move through the Spring Term, the school is in full bloom and looking beautiful. In case you missed the most recent images of the school, please see below. We are so lucky for Jerry and his team who make sure that the campus is always looking lovely.
This week we leave you with a brain-stretching exercise – the answer will be in the next edition – Good Luck!