May 2021
Outside the Box A newsletter helping the Box Hill School community stay together, stay informed and stay happy.
“Great Minds Don’t Think Alike”
Daily Wellbeing Tasks Reach out to a friend that you have not spoken with in a while. Ensure you get outside and engage with some type of exercise. Avoid reading the news or social media for a day Be attentive to the present – breathe, eat, exercise mindfully
Mental Health Awareness – Parents Edition We are conscious that our previous editions of Outside the Box have focused on children’s mental health, but we are equally conscious that the ongoing fight against Covid-19 has also significantly impacted adult mental health. With Mental Health Awareness Week falling in May we have decided that the focus of this edition should be adult mental health. The change to remote learning for young people has been tough but this has also had an impact on both parents and staff alike. For many, when the UK government announced the stay at home order in March 2020, this was an unknown path, and no one knew what lay ahead. For parents and carers, this suddenly opened a world of questions that young people will have had, and there will have been no clear answers, especially when it was clear that the adults did not even know. While our young people have had to show a great deal of resilience, so have the adults in their lives. Companies had to work out the intricacies of working from home, there may have been worries about loved ones living far away, or even near without the ability to go and see them, and as this period of lockdown continued, none of these areas necessarily became easier to manage. As adults we often feel that we have to be the strong ones as we are caring for others. But sometimes we confuse what being strong actually is. Covid-19 has meant that many of us have felt frustrated, lonely, worried about what may be happening, concerned about finances, health and family. Being strong is recognising those feelings, being kind to ourselves by being more creative and thoughtful about how we look after ourselves and asking for help when we need it. The Mental Health Foundation has created a wide range of resources and information to support Mental Health Awareness Week (https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/yourmental-health/looking-after-your-mental-health)
2 Mark Rowland, Chief Executive of the Mental Health Foundation said: “Mental Health Week’s theme this year is on nature and its central role for our mental health. Since the beginning of the pandemic, millions of us turned to nature to help us get through lockdowns and our research shows that good mental health depends on us being able to connect with nature in some way and its power in both prevention of and recovery from poor mental health”.
Wellbeing If you are a regular reader of Outside the Box you will know that we draw on a wealth of resources, particularly from those charities who focus on promoting positive mental health. The Mental Health Foundation continues to regularly update their articles as we navigate the Coronavirus pandemic. Recently they have released a number around the topic of return to school and the end of the lockdown, with guidance not only for young people but also for the adults in their lives. Action for Happiness have released their latest monthly calendar (which has been a regular feature in Outside of the Box) and the focus this month is on ‘Meaningful May’. There are a wide range of resources on their website that focus on positive mental health and we have included May’s calendar below. https://www.actionforhappiness.org/
The Mental Health Foundation: The Mental Health Foundation has not only focused on the promotion of the upcoming Mental Health Awareness Week but they have continued to provide tips to help young people and adults support their own mental health during this time. Their website has information on looking after your mental health at work. Some of their tips include:
Plan in time for the things that help you Think about what helps lift your mood and gets you through stress, and plan extra time in for you to do that. Whether it’s exercise, safe face-to-face or virtual time with friends, or protected time with family. Try not to let these things go or sacrifice them.
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Keep up with the basics Try and keep the basics going as much as you can – eating as well as you can, getting enough sleep and watching your caffeine and alcohol intake. Give yourself small rewards.
Share how you're feeling with people you trust If you can, identify a group of people you can be honest and open with about your feelings. Partners, friends, or close colleagues will want to help, and mixing the group up means you can ask different people for different things.
Share how you're feeling with your manager If you can have a conversation with your manager or senior team about your worries, it might help them to understand and be part of your support team. If you can encourage the staff team to adopt the same messages or nurturing and reconnection you’ll be doing with students, it can really help.
Keep things in perspective Remember, this is a period of adjustment for everyone. You aren’t a superhero; you are in an unprecedented period of change. The rules will change, and the community will learn and adapt, but you can only control you and the circumstances in your workplace today.
Find small moments to yourself Try to keep in touch with how you feel and what, if anything, is a particular issue for you. Try and find a distraction technique to get you through difficult times. It might be headphones on the way in, a podcast in the car, or just five minutes of peace at lunch or break to do a meditation track or have a moment of fresh air.
Approach others with kindness and an open mind If you can, try not to judge others’ reactions too harshly – people have their own reasons, motivations and fears to contend with that we’re not aware of.
Note things you're grateful for Keep a note of things you’re grateful for and things you’ve learned each day.
The Wellbeing and Employee ExperienceTeam at Surrey County Council, along with the NHS Surrey and Borders Partnership, have also put together a wealth of resources to allow adults to focus on their mental health during this time as well. These have been broken down into specific areas and they also provide services that are available. The important message that comes from these resources and which can be found in abundance throughout mental health charities is that idea that ‘it is ok to not be ok’. Whenever we speak to students who admit that they are struggling we always say that it is a sign of strength that they are reaching out and it is important that as adults we also remember this for ourselves. Time to talk A small conversation about mental health has the power to make a big difference. At times like this open conversations about mental health are more important than ever. Talking about wellbeing in our 1:1s and Performance Conversations is just one way in which we can support each other at work. Check in on a colleague you haven’t spoken to in a while with a quick call. Spend a little time at the beginning of a meeting or call to ask how people are feeling.
4 If you are struggling, please remember that it’s OK not to be OK and as well as speaking to your manager or a colleague, you can also use the following resources: Shout is a free, confidential, 24/7 text messaging support service for anyone struggling to cope. To contact one of their trained volunteers, simply text 85258. The Samaritans are available 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, by phoning 116 123. The Stay Alive app is a suicide prevention resource which can help someone stay safe. It can be used if you are having thoughts of suicide or if you are concerned about someone else who may be considering suicide and includes information on the local support available throughout the UK. The app is free, available on Google Play and App Store and is a useful tool for us all to have – literally – in our back pocket. The Mental Health Crisis Helpline is for people living in Surrey experiencing a mental health crisis. It is staffed by professionals and is available 24/7 by phoning 0800 915 4644. Those with speech or hearing difficulties can contact the helpline by texting 07717989024. Surrey’s Safe Havens provide out of hours help and support to people and their carers who are experiencing a mental health crisis or emotional distress. They are located in Epsom, Guildford, Aldershot, Redhill and Woking, and include Virtual Safe Havens to access support without leaving home. Supporting your colleagues There are many signs that indicate that a colleague may be experiencing burn-out, depression, anxiety or another mental health problem. Perhaps the key thing to look out for is changes in behaviour, emotions or reactions which ‘seem out of character’ for the person concerned. This can include:
Physical changes, such as fatigue, indigestion, joint or back pain, chest or throat pain, sweating, changes in appetite, poor sleep or visible tension
Psychological changes, including anxiety or distress, tearfulness, mood changes, lapses in memory, poor concentration, loss of humour, or indecision
Changes in behaviour which may include increased smoking and drinking, restlessness, working long hours, irritability and anger, lateness or leaving work early, increased sickness absence, withdrawal or inconsistent performance
Work can, though not always, be a factor in a deterioration in mental health. Regardless of whether work is the primary cause of ill health, managers can take action to promote wellbeing and recovery, and it’s essential that they facilitate an early, candid and honest conversation about this. Whilst this can seem daunting to some, preparing for a conversation about mental health can help make sure that it is as supportive as possible. As is the case for conversations about physical health, a useful starting point is to ask ‘how are you?’ and to give the staff member the time and space to answer. It will be important to avoid interruptions, maintain eye contact, listen carefully and to be patient. Managers are not exempt from struggling with their mental health and should seek support when they need it. By being open about the pressures on our own wellbeing, we can encourage a culture in which it’s OK not to be OK.
5 Self esteem Positive self-esteem can greatly improve our way of life and help build healthy relationships. It raises our confidence and energy and helps us to flourish as individuals. It’s important to nurture self-esteem, because doing so helps to release the feelgood DOSE hormones (dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin and endorphin). These DOSE hormones in return give us a sense of harmony, happiness and fullness, creating a “virtuous circle” of wellbeing. There are some very practical ways in which you can help boost your self-esteem:
Have positive self-talk: When you catch yourself being self-critical, reframe your internal conversation by focusing on your strengths and acknowledging your positive efforts.
List your accomplishments: Make a list of all that you’ve achieved over the past few months (set your own time frame). As you review it, be proud of how you’ve coped with challenges and what you’ve done well. Allow yourself to go back in your memory and re-experience those moments of triumph. Some of them may be small, but they are all significant.
Take yourself to the edge of your comfort zone: your comfort zone is a great place for your body but not for your mind, as staying safe can end up inhibiting self-confidence. Challenge yourself this month to give something a go that you would normally shy away from.
Exercise. When you exercise your body is stimulated to release endorphins, triggering a positive feeling. Even just a short walk each day can lift your mood.
The road to true self-confidence can be a long one but proactively taking small, regular steps will help us travel the distance.
Loneliness and isolation The pandemic, social distancing and lockdowns have had a massive impact on the levels of loneliness and isolation many of us are feeling, with surveys showing that one in four adults had feelings of loneliness in the last two weeks. We know that this is particularly affecting young people, single parents and those who are unemployed or full time students. How can we prevent loneliness? It’s really important to stress that pandemic restrictions must be adhered to. Let’s Talk Loneliness recommend 3 simple actions to tackle loneliness:
1. Keep in touch with those around you Re-building and establishing strong social networks can help us all. Whilst we’re reliant on technological forms of communication, connecting with family and friends is essential for our mental health. If, by the end of the working day you’re fed up with video calls, try voice calls or even texts to stay in touch. Writing and receiving letters can be incredibly rewarding.
2. Join an online group Remember that it’s quite likely that others are feeling equally lonely and so would
6 welcome that initial contact. Some may be worried about what to talk about, so think about those mutual interests you share or suggest an online game or quiz you can take part in together. Many of the groups and activities which we enjoyed in person before the pandemic are now being provided online. Think about those things you enjoy and search for online clubs and groups you may want to join (and remember that in a virtual world, these don’t have to be local). Talk to colleagues and friends about what they are up to and consider joining them.
3. Reach out It’s likely that we all know someone who may be lonely at the moment, so reach out, rather than wait for them to contact you. Who do you know who is living alone or in a house share and may be finding it difficult? Organisations that can help: The Mix provides free, confidential help for under 25s online and via a helpline. Call 0808 808 4494, text THEMIX to 85258 or use their online chat service on the website. If you are lonely or finding it difficult to cope in these uncertain times, call the free and confidential British Red Cross coronavirus support line on 0808 196 3651, open 10am to 6pm every day. Shout is a free, confidential, 24/7 text messaging support service for anyone struggling to cope. To contact one of their trained volunteers, simply text 85258. The Samaritans are available 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, by phoning 116 123 Parents and carers Others continue to struggle to balance childcare, schooling and working during lockdown, and Surrey’s Family Help Hub is available to help manage the highs and lows of family life.
We would also like to highlight the importance of Sleep Hygiene. You don’t need us to tell you that sleep plays a vital role in our moods, concentration, physical and mental wellbeing, happiness and ultimately our quality of life. Your behaviours during the day, and especially before bedtime, affect your sleep. They can promote healthy sleep or contribute to sleeplessness. If you have difficulty sleeping or want to improve your sleep, try following these healthy sleep habits.
Keep a consistent sleep schedule. Get up at the same time every day, even on weekends or during time off.
Set a bedtime that is early enough for you to get at least 7 hours of sleep.
Establish a relaxing bedtime routine.
Switch off from all electronic devices at least 30 minutes before going to bed.
Make your bedroom quiet and relaxing. Keep the room at a comfortable, cool temperature.
Don’t eat a large meal before bedtime. If you are hungry at night, eat a light, healthy snack.
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Exercise regularly and maintain a healthy diet.
Avoid consuming caffeine 8 hours before bedtime.
Avoid consuming alcohol before bedtime.
Reduce your fluid intake before bedtime.
If you follow healthy sleep habits but still struggle to get a good night’s sleep, try completing a two-week sleep diary. This can help you understand how your routine affects your sleep by identifying triggers for a night of restlessness. You may also find cognitive behavioural therapy useful as it helps to address the thoughts and behaviours that prevent you from sleeping well. Further guidance and advice can be found online at Sleepstation or The Sleep Council. The NHS are diving forward a strong focus on Mental Health as we navigate our way out of lockdown. For many the period of lockdowns has been isolating and has had an impact on the way that we feel day to day. Due to the higher levels of resilience that adults have, in comparison with young people, we have managed to cope for long periods of time in this unknown. https://www.nhs.uk/oneyou/every-mind-matters/
Podcasts
As with other publications of Outside the Box, we continue to turn to the Mental Health Foundation to provide our weekly podcast suggestion. Their website continues to provide a brilliant array of resources to help with this and they also produce some very good wellbeing podcasts. With the theme of Nature for Mental Health Awareness Week, this week’s podcast is titled, ‘How sleep and green space can help your mental health’. The focus of the podcast is on Julie Dunn, a research scientist, who designed a garden for RHS Flower Show while recovering from surgery. When the Mental Health Foundation asked Julie what green space does for her own mental health: "I know that if I get home from work and feel overcome by the day... I know that by going to my allotment and getting my trowel in the soil and watching the robin join me, I'll find myself talking to the robin and looking at the plants and thinking what does it all matter, because no matter what is happening in the outside world, things will keep growing here." Antonis Kousoulis, Associate Director of Research and Development and Linda Liao, Digital Manager at The Mental Health Foundation have a discussion with Julie later in the podcast about tips for getting good sleep, and how to incorporate green space into your routine to help look after your mental health. If you have been impacted by anything in this episode remember that Samaritans are available to call 24/7 for free on 116 123. https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/podcasts-and-videos/how-sleep-and-green-space-can-help-yourmental-health Please find the link to the Mental Health Foundation web page below as well. https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/
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Further Self-help resources for parents Every Mind Matters - Advice for parents and carers on looking after your child's mental health and self-care videos for young people.
Young Minds - Useful tips and ideas for how to support your children with worries or mental health problems.
MindEd for families - Advice and information from specialists and parents to help
you understand what problems occur and what you can do best to support your family.
Free online parenting guides - Online guides to help you understand your child's or teenager's emotional development to improve your relationship.
Family Learning - Online parenting courses for parents and carers who are struggling to support their children with school, homework or behaviour issues.
Qwell for parents of SEND Children - Online emotional wellbeing support for
parents and carers of children and young people with special educational needs and disability (SEND) in Surrey.
SEND Advice Surrey - Impartial, confidential and free support to empower parent, carers, children and young people with Special Educational Needs and Disabilities (SEND) aged 0-25 years.
Surrey's Family Help Hub - A brand new services, helping you find useful information, advice and support for those times you need it.
Contacts Sue Salmon, Deputy Head Pastoral
Susan.Salmon@boxhillschool.com
Claire McCarthy, Assistant Head Pastoral
Claire.McCarthy@boxhillschool.com